South Park: The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints
by WildCard0531
Summary: Samuel Cooper is a young lad from Houston, TX. He also has a superhero alter ego known as Sir Justice. Watch as Sam goes through life fighting for his friends, the town, and later, the world. The reason I made this fanfic was because I was in the mood to make an anime esque adventure fanfic with South Park characters. Favorite if you wish. Enjoy! First entry in SPS Universe
1. Prologue 1: Pre-School

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 1: Prologue 1: Pre-School

 **(Author's Note: Just a warning, some of the events in this fanfic won't be canon with the original series. This is just something I'm making for fun, so enjoy)** **  
**

(We get introduced to our main character, Samuel Cooper, a slender 10 year old white boy with raven black hair that's gelled down, blue eyes. He is walking down the road to get to school. Samuel is wearing black shoes, blue jeans, a black sweat jacket with an orange undershirt, and a black backpack. He is tossing an apple up in the air and then catching it. He finally takes a bite out of it after a while)

Sam (v.o): Howdy. My name is Samuel Cooper, but everyone calls me Sam. Me and my parents moved to this small town of South Park from the big city of Houston about a month ago. The move didn't bother me at all. In fact, I actually prefer a small town environment. And I'll tell you what, the school I go to is a hell of a lot better than the one I went to in Houston.

(Cut to the South Park Elementary as Sam enters the building and starts to walk down the hall. He passes a nearby trash can and throws his apple core in the trash)

Sam (v.o): I liked most of my teachers, my grades were okay, and I made some friends (Only Wendy Testaburger appears and walks next to him smiling) Make that _a_ friend. Meet Wendy Testaburger. She's a smart cookie, that's for sure. She never backs down from a fight, and she's willing to stand up for what is right. My kind of girl. We're just friends though, so don't get any ideas. Although Wendy is a cool chick, she's not really the kind of people I used to roll with back in Houston. You ask what I'm talking about? Let me explain…

(We cut to Samuel dressed in different attire. He has white gloves, an falcon themed eye mask, his raven hair is spiky, orange scarf, orange sweat pants, an orange tank top with the letters SJ on it, and orange shoes)

Sam (v.o): Back in Houston, I was known as Sir Justice.

(We see four other shadowy figures joining him)

Sam (v.o): Me and my four comrades were vigilante's in our school, willing to stand up for the weaker students. We were known as the Houston Five. Sometimes we were just the usual heroes helping out those in distress. Other times, we were like Robin Hood: Steal from the rich to give to the poor.

(We cut to the five vigilantes as they fight evil. We first see them taking down a couple of bullies who stole a kid's Nintendo 3DS, and they were playing a game of keep away with it. Once they took down the bullies, they give the kid his 3DS back.)

(Second scene: A bully who refuses to let the other kids play on the jungle gym. The Houston Five jumps on the jungle gym, and they promptly take care of him by hanging on by his underwear on one of the bars)

(Third scene: At lunchtime, the lunch ladies wouldn't give ice cream to the kids because they were misbehaving. The Houston Five bust in as Sam/Sir Justice blasts the lunch ladies with paintball guns, and they stole all the ice cream so they can give it to their class. The Houston Five were met with cheers)

Sam (v.o): Putting on those costumes and wielding the toys that we call weapons gave us a sort of power. Everyone respected us as the Houston Five, and the best part is, nobody knew our real identities. That has to be the best part of being a superhero/vigilante. Watch as everyone tries to guess your true identity. But I'll tell you who my other friends are. You know me, the leader of the group and the jack of all trades when it comes to weapon wielding. You know, paintball guns, toy lightsabers, boxing gloves and all that, but now we meet everyone else.

(The first one we see is a kid in a black duster coat, with brown eyes and brown hair with a brown cowboy hat covering it. He's wearing a white t-shirt underneath the duster with blue jeans and brown shoes)

Sam (v.o): This is Kurt, also known as Smith the Kid, Smith being his last name. Anyway, he was the groups' main marksman, with his main weapon being the paintball guns.

(The next one we see is a cute girl with long brown hair, an eye mask with a crucifix on it, and wearing a choir outfit)

Sam (v.o): Bridgette, also known as the Singing Angel. Her family always takes her to church, and she got interested in singing for the children's choir. She is used as our main distraction, whether for her singing skill or we need her to let out a deafening scream. She's not limited to her voice though, she's a pretty skilled fighter as she also takes Tae Kwon Do lessons.

(The next one is a boy with a grey backwards hat covering his strawberry blonde hair, and sunglasses covering his green eyes. He has no shirt, but white shoes and baggy brown pants with chains in the pockets)

Sam (v.o): Justin, also known as the One Man Chain Gang. He always had a fascination with chains, and he uses them to wrap, whip, or slam his opponents into submission. He can be a bit brash though, and he has an unhealthy attraction to the opposite sex. I once saw him peep on the girls' locker room. But I'm getting off topic now.

(The last one is an Asian girl with short black hair, a plain white mask, a white and blue kimono and red sandals and white socks)

Sam (v.o): And lastly, there's Ursula, also known as Samurai of Light: Our groups swordsman. She took fencing lessons since she was five, so she was a must have for our little group. We were the Houston Five! Bullies feared us whenever we entered the scene. Nobody messed with us.

(Cut back to present day in South Park Elementary, Sam is lounging in his desk)

Sam: (v.o): It does suck that my gang isn't here with me. Though maybe it's for the best. Since this is a small town, not a lot goes on so a superhero/vigilante isn't necessary. That doesn't mean I won't kick some major ass when necessary. So stay on my good side, and I won't have to whip you six ways from Sunday.

(Camera zooms in on Sam as he looks into the camera with a smug look as he says his first lines that aren't voice over)

Sam: That's not going to be a problem is it?

* * *

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a strange shadow that looks like a teenage boy with red eyes looking down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Clyde, Tweek, Craig, Token, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(The shadowy teen from earlier appears along with his 13 commanders that I also won't give away because spoilers. Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(The shadowy teen steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

* * *

(We see Sam and Wendy walk down the hallway to get to the next class)

Sam (v.o): Today started off as a normal day. I was walking down the hallway with Wendy to our history class, when we notice something.

(Stan Marsh quickly runs past Sam and Wendy with a look of horror on his face)

Sam: I wonder what that was all about.

Wendy: I don't know. Should we go on and ask about it?

Sam: You go on ahead, Wendy, I'll meet you there.

Wendy: Okay, see you there.

(She continues to her history class as Sam follows Stan. He eventually finds Stan talking with two of his friends, Kenny and Kyle. Sam hides behind the lockers when Craig shows up)

Craig: Hey, new kid, what are you doing?

Sam: Nothing, go away!

Craig: Doesn't look like nothing.

Sam: (Takes out his wallet and gives him $5) Here's five dollars, go away!

Craig: (Takes the money and looks at him) Okay, whatever. (He leaves and says this under his breath…) Weirdo…

(Sam continues to listen in on the conversation, hoping he didn't miss anything. He sees that the fat kid known as Eric Cartman has joined the conversation. Sam looked at the boys' faces to see expressions of worry and fear)

Sam: Something terrible must've happened.

(Sam continues to listen in on the conversation to see that the kid known as Butters has joined in. After a while, Butters runs out of the school screaming all the while)

Sam: What the hell?

(Sam finally decides to go up to the four boys and ask what the problem is)

Sam: Howdy, fellas.

(The four boys turn around to look at him)

Kenny: Hey, it's that new kid!

Kyle: Yeah, what's his name?

Sam: My name is Sam. Samuel Cooper.

Cartman: What do you want?

Sam: I'm just concerned. You guys seem troubled. Is there anything I can help you with?

Stan: We don't know if you can help us, dude, but we will tell you if you really are that interested.

Sam: I'm all ears.

Stan: Okay. There was this boy in our pre-school class. His name was Trent Boyett. We did something in pre-school that pissed him off.

Sam: What did you guys do?

Stan: We wanted to play fireman, where we start a fire and put it out with our pee. We asked Trent if he could start a fire, and he did. The fire grew out of control, and it ended up severely burning our teacher, Ms. Claridge. A few moments later, when the police and EMTs came, Trent tried to get us in trouble by saying the fire was our idea, which it was.

Sam: What did you do?

Stan: We lied to the police and got Trent Boyett sent off to jail. And now he's get let out on parole, and when he does, he's going to come after us.

Sam: I see. Well, in all honesty, you guys shouldn't have done what you did. You should've owned up to your mistakes.

Cartman: We were pre-schoolers, dumbass! We didn't know any better.

Kenny: And besides, we don't want to go to jail. Do you know what they do to kids like us in jail? It rhymes with grape?

Sam: Alrighty then. I'll help you all out anyway I can, as long as you learned you lesson.

Stan: We have, Sam, just please help us out. Tell a teacher, let us stay at your place, anything!

Sam: (Grins) Oh, I can do much more than that.

(He walks away)

Kenny: We're fucked. You guys know this right.

* * *

(The next scene is Sam walking Wendy home from school)

Wendy: So what did you find out about Stan?

Sam: Apparently he, along with his friends, are being hunted down by a boy named Trent Boyett.

Wendy: Oh, I know him. Why what did they do?

Sam: From what I've heard, Stan and his friends are responsible for the teacher, Ms. Claridge, getting burned. They didn't want the police to find out, so they blamed Trent, and now he's coming after them.

Wendy: Stan and his friends were responsible for the fire?!

Sam: From what I've hard, yes.

Wendy: This is the kind of behavior I'd expect from Cartman, but not Stan, Kenny, or Kyle.

Sam: I told them I'd help them with Trent anyway I could.

Wendy: Forgive me for saying this, but is they were the cause of the trouble, I'd let them fry.

Sam: Not me. I want to help those in need. I get what you're saying though, and I told them that they should've owned up to their mistakes. I just hope that this Trent kid is all bluster and isn't going to do anything.

Wendy: For all we know, maybe he forgot about the whole thing.

(Just then, a 10 year old with wild blonde hair a black muscle shirt, a tattered red vest, a gold chain necklace, black pants, black shoes, and tattoos on each arm confronts them)

Boy: (Talks to Sam first) Hey, do you know where I can find a boy named Butters Stotch?

Sam: I think we just passed his house a while back that way.

Boy: Thanks. Out of my way. (Pushes Sam out of his way, but turns back and says…) Hi, Wendy.

Wendy: (Waves and when the boy leaves, she turns to Sam) Do you realize what you've just done?!

Sam: (Gets up) What?

Wendy: That was Trent Boyett. I recognize that face from anywhere! And you just told him where he could find Butters. Do you know what he's going to do to him?!

Sam: (Gets scarred) I don't know! I didn't know that was Trent! I've never even me the guy! (He runs off)

Wendy: Where are you going?

Sam: I gotta do something (He runs off and Wendy walks home alone).

(Sam finds a port-a-potty on the way to Butters' house, and he enters it. He leaves as the masked man himself, Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: Sir Justice, reporting for duty after a month long hiatus! Let's rock! (Runs down the street at top speed to get to Butters' house)

* * *

(At Butters' house, his parents, Stephen and Linda Stotch, send their son outside to play. Butters has been hiding in his room, and they didn't want their son to get lazy, so they figured it was best to send him outside for an hour or two. Butters however was still scared about Trent Boyett. He's banging on the door for his parents to let him back in)

Stephen: (From inside) Play, Butters! Start playing right now, young man!

Butters: (Stops banging the door and takes a deep breath) I'm gonna be fine. Trent Boyett won't find me. If I just stay in the confines of my front yard where my parents can see me, I should be fine.

(Butters finds a soccer ball and kicks it somewhere…only for it to be stopped by Trent Boyett, who just arrived to his front lawn)

Trent: (Picks up the ball) Is this yours? (Takes out a switch blade knife marked, "Kill all Betrayers" and pops the ball with it, and says this in a sarcastic tone….) Oops, clumsy me.

Butters: T-T-Trent Boyett! (He runs to the door and starts pounding on it again) Dad! Mom! I'm don- I'm done playing now! Let me in! Mom, Dad, you got to open the door!

(Inside the house, Linda and Stephen are trying to watch a movie on Netflix)

Linda: What on Earth is the matter with him?

Stephen: Just keep the door locked, honey. Butters can't be a house hermit his whole life.

Linda: But I can't stand to hear him scream like that. I'm going upstairs (She heads upstairs to her room).

(Back outside, Butters has given up hope as he turns in Trent's direction. Trent gives an ugly grin)

Trent: Ain't that a shame. Your own parents are going to miss your demise!

(Trent starts walking up to Butters)

Butters: Oh my God, he's coming! Oh hamburgers! He's going to kill me!

(Butters is now staring Trent right in the face)

Trent: Five years. It has been five long, miserable years.

Butters: Look, Trent, I know you're awful sore about preschool and all, but….that was a long time ago. I mean, we were just kids. Please don't hurt me, Trent. I'll give you anything you want. You name it, and it's yours!

Trent: Can you give me back my time? Can you do that? Kindergarten, first grade, second? Can you give me that?

Butters: Well, no, Trent, I'm not a time traveler or anything of the sort.

Trent: Shame. You know, while I was in prison, I learned more tricks on how to be a pyro. Want to see? (He takes out a crumpled piece of paper, and lights it up with a lighter)

Butters: Wha…What are you going to do with that?

Trent: You'll see (He gets ready to throw it) Fireball Toss!

(He throws the piece of paper and Butters screams, anticipating the pain, but then…a paintball comes out of nowhere and blasts the piece of paper away)

Trent: What now?

(Trent looks to see Sir Justice perched on top of a fence post)

Sam/Sir Justice: Trent Boyett, I presume?

Trent: You presumed correctly. What are you dressed as? It's a little bit too early in the year to dress up for Halloween.

Sam/Sir Justice: I know. But even still, It'll be a _treat_ to take someone like you down, especially since I have plenty of _tricks_ up my sleeve!

(He jumps off the fence post and tries to body slam Trent, who dodges out of the way just in time. Sir Justice gets up slowly)

Trent: You missed me, hero! Now move out of the way so I can give Butters here his just deserts!

Sam/Sir Justice: You're going to have to take me down first. Justice Punch!

(Sir Justice charges at Trent and punches him square in the face, knocking him down to the ground)

Trent: (Gets up with a bleeding nose)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his two paintball guns) Paintball Barrage!

(He fires paintballs at Trent, who dodges out of the way)

Trent: Nice tricks you got there. Now it's my turn!

(He takes out a beer bottle, drinks half of the bottle, and then takes out his lighter)

Trent: Dragon Breath!

(He blows at the lighter, and a long stream of fire comes at Sir Justice. He dodges out of the way, but his scarf is singed)

Trent: Looks like I gave your scarf a redesign. An original work by Trent Boyett. Your welcome.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm not pleased.

Trent: Too bad. Will you back down now?

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) I can't fight this guy now. He's too strong. Back in Houston, I never dealt with anyone that fought with actual fire. I have to retreat. But I have to take Butters with me.

(Sir Justice runs up to Butters and grabs his hand)

Sir Justice: Hang on tight!

(He aims a wrist mounted grappling hook at a tree branch a few blocks away, and fires it. It makes it mark and both he and Butters fly off, but Trent isn't having any of that as he lights up another crumpled piece of paper)

Trent: Oh no you don't! Fireball Toss!

(He throws the fireball at the duo, and it hits Sir Justice right in the hand, causing him to let go of Butters, and he falls back to ground level)

Butters: NO!

Sam/Sir Justice: Butters!

(Back on ground level, Trent manages to catch up to Butters. He smirks and Butters gulps)

* * *

(The next scene occurs the next day at Hell's Pass Hospital. Kenny, Stan, Cartman, and Kyle come to visit Butters. Sam decides to come along to pay his respects and see him out of guilt. The five boys are walking down the hallway)

Stan: I hope Butters is okay, dudes.

Kyle: Yeah.

Sam: (Remains silent and looks like he's about to cry over his failure)

Kenny: You okay, Sam. You seem more broken about this than we do.

Sam: (Wipes his eyes) Yeah, I just have something in my eye.

(The five boys arrive to Butters' hospital room where they see a doctor and Stephen and Linda Stotch there. Butters is in the hospital bed unconscious. Suffice it to say, he has seen better days)

Linda: Thanks so much for coming to visit Butters in the hospital, boys. It means a lot to him.

Stephen: What happened to him, Doctor?

Doctor: From the test results, it would appear your child was tortured by a bully. He received a massive snuggie, his underwear pulled up so high it nearly killed him. He also received two Indian sunburns on his forearms, a charlie horse on the thigh, and a second-degree titty twister. And from the damage to his head area, it appears he was also given a swirly, a colossal one. It also looks like he received a noogie, and, a Polish bike ride.

Linda: What's that?

Doctor: We aren't sure. We only know that... there is no cure. The only thing we can do in a case like this is let time heal.

(Sam looks at Kyle, Cartman, Stan, and Kenny to see them absolutely horrified, assuming that they're going to get the same fate)

Linda: If only we had let him in. Why didn't we let him inside the house when he was screaming for help?

(Linda begins to cry as Stephen comforts her)

Cartman: We've got to tell them who did this, you guys. We're gonna get it as bad as Butters!

Kyle: That's nothing compared to what my mom will do to me if she finds out I've been lying for five years!

Cartman: Maybe you didn't hear so good in there, Kyle! Second-degree titty-twister!

Stan: Calm down guys, we don't have to go tell our parents. We just need to go out and get some protection.

Cartman: How the hell are condoms gonna help us?!

(The adults in the recovery room look at Cartman)

Cartman: Sorry, heh. Never mind.

(The adults turn their attention back to Butters)

Stan: I'm talking about hiring somebody bigger than Trent to protect us from him. Come on! You coming, Sam?

Sam: I think I'll stay here for a little longer, thanks.

(The four boys leave as Sam goes back to the unconscious Butters)

Sam: Butters…I failed you. I couldn't save you. But I'm going to use this moment now to redeem myself. I'm going to take down Trent Boyett for your sake, and for those guys' sakes. You can count on it. I don't know if you can hear me, but I just want to let you know that that's what's going to happen. Trust me.

(Sam gets up and leaves)

* * *

(The next day, Sam is in Wendy's backyard. She's throwing Frisbees at him and he's dodging them. Upon dodging them, he's either shooting at the tree she's hiding behind with one of her NERF guns, or hitting it with his fists, his feet, or a baseball bat that Wendy let him borrow. He hits the tree with a bat so hard that it leaves a dent)

Wendy: I think you're getting stronger if you made a dent in this sturdy oak.

Sam: Thanks.

Wendy: Why are we doing this anyway?

Sam: (Thinks of an excuse on the fly) I just want to test out my agility and fighting skills because I want to join the army when I turn 18. I want to be an asset to my squadron, you know.

Wendy: But why now? You're not going to turn 18 for another 8 years. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not enjoying spending time with you, I'm just curious

Sam: I'd like to get a jump on it, you know stay physically fit.

Wendy: Alright.

(Just then, they hear a group of sixth graders talking from the other side of the fence that separates Wendy's backyard from the street)

Sixth Grade Leader: Come on, boys, let's go get that Trent Boyett!

Sam: (To himself) Oh no! (Out loud) Wendy, can I use your bathroom. I really have to go.

Wendy: Sure. It's upstairs, down the hall, first door on the right.

Sam: Thanks.

(He runs into the bathroom, but not before he grabs his backpacks which was resting at Wendy's front door. Once he gets into the bathroom, Wendy doesn't hear from him. 15 minutes later, she goes up to check on him)

Wendy: Hey, Sam? Are you okay? You've been in there a while.

(No answer)

Wendy: Did you run out of toilet paper.

(Just then, Wendy's father, Doug Testaburger comes into the scene)

Doug: What's wrong, Wendy.

Wendy: My friend Sam is in the bathroom and he's not answering me. Is he okay?

Doug: Let me try. (Knocks on the door) Sam, are you okay in there, buddy? (He tries to open the door, but it's locked) Sam? What's wrong? If you're not going to answer I'm going to kick down the door.

(Doug kicks down the door and when he and Wendy enter, they see that Sam is gone, and the bathroom window is wide open, showing he escaped)

Wendy: (Confused) Sam?

Doug: You have a weird friend, Wendy.

* * *

(Cut to Sam/Sir Justice running down the street hoping to catch up with the sixth graders)

Sam/Sir Justice: I hope I'm not too late! Those Sixth Graders don't stand a chance against a force of nature like him. Especially if he's going to be pulling those fire tricks on them like he did me.

(He turns a corner and sees that all of the sixth graders are knocked out, and their bikes are destroyed. Everyone is out of commission except for one, the leader. He's ready to face Trent. The leader is on his bicycle, cracking his knuckles)

Trent: You still want to fight me, even though I took down the rest of your friends?

Sixth Grade Leader: I'm not scared of you! (Sarcastically) Oh, noogies, wet willies, and wedgies. I'm so scared!

Trent: I was just holding out on you. (He takes out another ball of paper and lights it on fire)

Sixth Grade Leader: What's that?

Trent: Fireball Toss!

(He throws it at the leader when Sir Justice runs up to it and smacks it away)

Trent: Well, it looks like we meet again.

Sixth Grade Leader: Who are you?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm Sir Justice! The greatest vigilante that ever lived! What might your name be?

Sixth Grade Leader: Leon.

Sam/Sir Justice: Nice to meet you.

Trent: Are we done with this little meet and greet? I'd kind of like to finish you both off before we're old.

Sam/Sir Justice: What do you say, Leon? Are you ready to teach this guy a lesson.

Leon: You know it!

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's do this thing then! (To himself) For Butters.

Trent: (Takes out a bottle of lighter fluid and dips his knife in it. He then lights it on fire) Get ready, because you'll all be burnt to crisps when I'm done with you!

Leon: Bring it on.

Trent: If you insist! (He charges with his fiery blade as both Sir Justice and Leon dodge out of the way)

Leon: Hop on, superhero dude!

Sam/Sir Justice: Right.

(He gets on the back of his bike as they ride up to Trent)

Trent: (Takes out multiple paper balls and lights them all on fire and throws them up in the air) Firestorm!

(Leon dodges all of the falling fireballs as they hit the ground. Sam/Sir Justice jumps high into the air off the bike and comes down on Trent with a fast kick)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick.

(His foot hits Trent on his face and he gets pushed back. Before Trent could his bearings straight, Sam came charging at him with his lightsaber and pokes him hard in the stomach, knocking him to the ground)

Trent: I say, you've gotten stronger in such a short time span.

Sam/Sir Justice: It was uncool what you did to Butters. I intend on making you pay.

Trent: You don't know what they did! They lied to the police and got me arrested! They should've been the ones behind bars, not me! I don't' want to hear you fucking talk!

Sam/Sir Justice: Likewise!

(They both charge and punch each other in the face)

Sam/Sir Justice: GO! PAINTBALL BARRAGE! (He fires multiple rounds from his paintball guns)

(Trent blocks the paintballs, but get pushed back a little due to the velocity of the blasts)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Notices Trent panting and he thinks to himself again) He's panting! I might actually win this time.

(Leon comes to Sam's side)

Trent: No more mister nice guy!

(He takes out the lighter and a beer bottle, and he drinks the whole bottle this time. Sam knows what's going to happen)

Trent: Ultimate Dragon Breath!

(He blows on his lighter and a fire blast comes, bigger and wider ranged than the one before)

Sam/Sir Justice: Leon, duck!

(Leon jumps to the left of the fire blast, dodging it, while Sir Justice ducks and dodges it. When Sir Justice gets up, he sees that Trent Boyett is gone)

Sam/Sir Justice: He's gone! Where is he? TRENT!

(Trent appears right behind him and he takes out a bottle of Tobasco sauce and a telephone with a long cord)

Trent: Since you've been such a worthy fighter I've saved my deadliest trick just for you! I hope you enjoy it!

Sam/Sir Justice: Huh?!

Trent: TEXAS CHILI BOWL!

(He charges, but before he can reach Sam…)

Leon: NO!

(Leon pushes Sam out of the way and Trent ends up tackling Leon to the ground)

Trent: Oh well, you'll do!

Leon: Wait, what are you! No, stop!

(Sam could only watch in horror as Trent pulled Leon's pants down, shoved the Tobasco bottle up his ass, followed by the phone. He shoved the phone part in first, and tied the cord tightly around Leon's manhood.)

Leon: Wha—What have you done!

Trent: The Texas Chili Bowl. I picked that up in prison!

Leon: (Sobs quietly)

(Trent then looks over at Sam/Sir Justice. He sees the look of fear on his face. Trent has won again. Trent marches up until his face is adjacent to Sam's)

Trent: Okay Sir Justice. Consider this your final warning: If I ever see you again, I will kill you right where you stand. I promise you that. Do you hear me!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Nods in fear)

Trent: Good. Now stay out of my way.

(He leaves and Sam gets up to see if Leon is okay)

Sam/Sir Justice: Leon, are you alright?

Leon: Help…me!

* * *

(Cut back to Hell's Pass Hospital. Sam, out of his superhero clothes and back in his regular street clothes, is sitting outside in the waiting room. It's then that Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, and Stan show up)

Kyle: We saw the destroyed bikes. What happened?

Sam: Trent Boyett happened…again! Luckily I was there to see the aftermath and I made an anonymous call for the ambulance. I can't believe it! Can nothing take this guy down!?

Stan: Come on, let's take a look.

(The five boys enter the ER to check on the sixth graders. When they get there, they see them getting treated for numerous injuries)

Doctor: Jesus Christ, I've never seen so many Indian sunburns and titty twisters in my life. (To a nurse and paints at a shirtless sixth grader) Get a cold towel on that pink belly!

Nurse 1: (Pushing a sixth grader on a cot) Doctor, we have another noogie here!

Doctor: (Points at a vacant spot) Over there!

(The nurse takes the cot and puts it in the spot as another nurse comes by with another sixth grader)

Doctor: Another wet willie?

Nurse 2: Yeah, the worst one yet!

Sixth Grader: Eww, it's all slimy and spitty!

Doctor: Give the poor kid some morphine.

(The five boys go up to Leon)

Sam: Are you Leon?

Leon: Yeah.

Sam: Sir Justice told me what happened. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Leon: Don't worry about it. I'm just sorry that I couldn't help these four out. They showed me a picture of boobies, and I failed them.

Stan: Dude, what happened?

Leon: We told him not to mess with you guys. We told him that you paid us to take care of him.

Kyle: Oh, Jesus! You told him that!?

Doctor: You boys should let him rest. Some mean kid gave him a Texas Chili Bowl.

Stan: What's that?

Doctor: It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus. I don't know what kind of kid would do this to other people. I only know that I wouldn't ever want to be on that kid's bad side.

(Kenny, Stan, Cartman, and Kyle leave in fear as Sam slowly follows after feeling nothing but shame)

* * *

(The next day at the local burger joint, Sam is having lunch with Wendy)

Wendy: Hey, did you hear about what happened to those sixth graders.

Sam: (Sigh) Yeah. It's terrible. Especially since that superhero guy, Sir Justice, tried so hard to put him in his place.

Wendy: (Sips her soda) I heard about that. He tried to save Butters the other day and failed, and he tried to defeat him again yesterday and failed.

Sam: (Trying to hide his own grief and guilt) He must be feeling so guilty right now I imagine.

Wendy: Yeah. I hear that Trent Boyett has some fire techniques on his side. Yet he doesn't seem to burn any of his victims. I wonder why that is?

Sam: (Takes a bite of a burger) Probably so he won't accidently kill them.

Wendy: That does make sense. If I were him, I wouldn't want to go back to jail. Especially for murder. That's the death penalty right there.

Sam: I just don't know what we should do about Trent. He's a force of freaking nature.

Wendy: (Eats a fry) Well I don't know why Sir Justice thinks that just using paintball guns and toy lightsaers is enough to take down a pyromaniac like Trent Boyett. I'd use something like a hose or water gun to extinguish his flames.

(Just then, Sam gets an idea)

Sam: What did you say?

Wendy: I'm saying that Sir Justice should use water to take out a pyromaniac like Trent Boyett.

Sam: (Gets up and hugs Wendy, causing her to blush) You're a genius, Wendy. I got to go!

(He leaves)

Wendy: Sam, where are you going?

Sam: I'm going to go try and find this Sir Justice guy and tell him to get some water power!

(He leaves the burger joint as the waiter leaves the bill on their table)

Wendy: Hey, Sam, you can't leave me with the bill! Come back here!

* * *

(Sam heads to the toy store and grabs a water gun. It's a big one with an orange/black/silver color scheme. It also comes with additional bottles of water for reloading purposes. He then grabs a slingshot and some water balloons. One he has these three items, he heads for the bathroom and changes into this Sir Justice clothing once again. With that, he bolts form the toy store to look for Trent Boyett)

Sam/Sir Justice: Look out, Trenty! I'm coming for you! And I'm going to win this time!

* * *

(Meanwhile, in downtown South Park, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman are contemplating what they should do)

Kyle: What do we do, guys? The sixth graders couldn't help us. This Sir Justice guy that everyone keeps talking about isn't doing any good either. We're screwed.

Stan: Guys. I think we should come clean and tell someone what we did.

Cartman: Are you crazy!?

Stan: What other choices do we have?! I say we go to the police station, turn ourselves in, and tell them everything that has happened: From when it started to the present day.

Kyle: I'm going to have to agree with you, Stan. Anything is better than looking over your shoulder every day wondering if Trent is behind me.

Kenny: I agree.

Cartman: (No response)

Stan: Cartman?

Cartman: Fine! God damn it! You win! Let's go tell the cops everything.

Stan: Alright, then let's go!

(Before they go anywhere, Trent appears behind them)

Trent: I've been looking for you!

Boys: AAAAAHHHHHHH! TRENT!

Trent: Five years I've been waiting for this day.

Stan: Trent, look, we've realized our mistake!

Cartman: Yes, our conscience got the best of us and, and we were just about to tell everyone the truth.

Trent: You had five years to do that. And while I wasted away my time in prison _you've_ been enjoying nice, normal lives!

Kyle: Our lives have _not_ been enjoyable, Trent! I promise you!

Trent: Don't tell me that! I heard about the things you've done! But there were no magical Christmas adventures or talking poo for me! I didn't get to fight a huge mechanic Barbra Streisand! No accidental trips to Afganastan for Trent Boyett! You're all going to pay.

Kenny: Trent, please, we're sorry!

Trent: It's too late for sorry! It's time for revenge! So get ready, because here I come!

(He raises a fist as the four boys brace themselves for a beatdown. However, before Trent can lay a finger on the boys, he felt a paintball hit him in the back)

Trent: What?!

(He turns to see Sam/Sir Justice right behind him)

Kyle: It's that Sir Justice dude!

Cartman: Whoa, he looks so badass!

 **(Cue Bang Bang Bang Bang Have a Nice Dream from Soul Eater)**

Trent: I thought I warned you, you faggot behind a bird mask. I made it perfectly clear that If I saw you again, I'd kill you right where you stand.

Sam/Sir Justice: Go ahead. If you want to kill me, then just go ahead and do it. I'll stand still. I promise.

Trent: Alright. But don't say I didn't warn you. (He drinks a full beer bottle and takes out his lighter) Ultimate Dragon Breath!

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')**

(Trent blows his fire, and Sir Justice uses his grappling hook to latch onto a light post, and he climbs to the top)

Trent: Damn!

Sam/Sir Justice: Paintball Barrage!

(His paint balls hit Trent hard, but when the rounds stop he lets another fire breath loose)

Trent: Ultimate Dragon Breath!

 **(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history)**

(He fires his breath, but Sir Justice jumps off from on top of the light post. He holds out his fist)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Punch!

(He hits Trent square in the face as he jumps down from the light post)

 **(You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm not so intrigued, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream. If it ain't proper its incomplete,You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream (Instrumentals and remixed voices))**

Trent: (Gets up) Enough of this! (He takes out his paper balls and lights them on fire) Fireball Toss!

(Sam/Sir Justice takes out a water balloon and the slingshot)

Sam/Sir Justice: Aqua Grenade!

(He throws the water balloon and extinguishes the fire ball)

Trent: What's this?! Water!? You'll slip up eventually. (Lights multiple paper balls on fire and throws them) Firestorm!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out more water balloons) Aquatic Rapid Fire!

(He fires all of the water balloons at the fire balls and extinguishes them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Had enough bucko?

Trent: I've never had enough! (Glugs down another beer bottle) Let's see you beat this! Ultimate Dragon Breath!

(He blows into his lighter, and Sir Justice takes out the water gun)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hydro Cannon 3000! GO!

(He fires the water gun and the water collides with the flames, leaving nothing but a big ball of steam. Trent can't see where Sam is, but some comes charging forward and hits Trent in the stomach with a kick)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick!

(Trent is knocked on his ass as he stares at Sam)

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)**

Trent: Damn, he has water now! I can't compete.

Sam/Sir Justice: Indeed, you can't.

Trent: I'll still find a way to take you down! Just watch!

(He reaches for another beer bottle and another paper ball, but he's all out)

Trent: Oh no!

Sam/Sir Justice: All out of ammo. But me, I have ammo for days, boy!

(He pours some more water into his water gun and Trent gets scared)

Sam/Sir Justice: It's time to end this. (He aims his water gun straight at Trent)

Trent: No, don't!

Sam/Sir Justice: Extreme Hydro Cannon 3000, do your thing!

Trent: STOP! STOOOOOP!

Sam/Sir Justice: Mach 2 Water Jet!

 **(** **Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

(He fires the water blast and it hits Ternt)

Trent: BLAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!

(He blasts a fast jet of water at Trent, and it hits him so hard that he goes flying into the wall of a nearby building, and gets knocked unconscious)

Stan: Holy shit!

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) Finally got him!

(The four boys run up to Sir Justice to thank him)

Cartman: Thank you so much, Sir Justice, sir! You saved us.

Kenny: Yeah, way to go, dude!

Sam/Sir Justice: Think nothing of it, fellas. (He gives the four boys a quarter) Go to a pay phone. Call the police. Tell them Trent Boyett is incapacitated.

Stan: Okay, sure.

(The four boys leave as Sir Justice stays with Trent Boyett, who is just waking up)

Trent: You…

Sam/Sir Justice: Your flames of evil have been extinguished by the heroic rainstorm of justice!

(A few moments later, the police arrive to take Trent Boyett away)

Trent: (From inside the police car) This isn't over. As soon as I get out, I'm coming after you all. That superhero guy first.

Officer: Yeah, yeah, just shut up. You're going to be locked up for a long time, Trent Boyett.

(The police car takes off)

Trent: You losers haven't seen the last of me!

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) Well, Butters and Leon have been avenged. (He smiles)

Stan: Thanks again, Sir Justice, for everything.

Sam/Sir Justice: Think nothing of it.

Kyle: We just wish our new friend Sam was here to see you. He seemed very broken up about what happened to Butters and the sixth graders. We knew that if he saw you take on Trent Boyett, he'd be ecstatic.

Sam/Sir Justice: (In his mind) Friend? They view me as a friend? (Out loud) Don't worry, I'm sure once Sam heart the news, he'll be happy as a pig in shit. I'm glad that I helped you kids out. But now I must go. (Stares into the setting sun) Evil never sleeps. For all I know, another kid might need my help.

Kenny: Don't go, dude. We want to show you to our friends.

Cartman: Yeah, you're like the coolest dude ever!

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm sorry, but it has to be this way. Besides, I like to keep a low profile. I bid you guys farewell. Until we meet again.

(He uses his grappling hook and climbs to the top of a building and flies skyward. Once he lands on the top of the building he disappears)

Stan: See you around, Sir Justice.

(Meanwhile, Wendy is looking on from behind a dumpster, having an idea as to who Sir Justice's real identity could be)

Wendy: Sam…is that you?

* * *

(Cut to nighttime when Sam, now out of his superhero clothes, is just walking down the street to his house)

Sam: (Thinking to himself) I rocked it today. No more Trent Boyett, Butters and Leon have been avenged, and above all else, my vigilante persona lives on. Not only that, but those four guys view me as a friend. Today was a pretty good day. Now to get some shut eye.

(He yawns as he arrives to his house and closes the door behind him)

* * *

(Meanwhile, in Houston. A boy with spiky strawberry blonde hair, a white tank top, brown baggy pants with chains in the pockets, and white shoes is waiting at a bus stop for a coach bus. The bus pulls up and you hear the driver say….)

Driver: All aboard, South Park Colorado. You going to South Park, little fella?

Boy: Yes I am.

Driver: Any reason why you're going there in particular?

(The strange boy gives the driver a Kubrik Stare and grins)

Boy: I just want to say hello to an old friend.

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato** **.** **Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou** **.** **Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Sam is eating lunch with Kenny, Stan, Cartman, and Kyle and the five boys do a cheers with chocolate milk cartons. Meanwhile, Wendy is eyeing Sam from her table, still thinking if he really is Sir Justice)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru mo.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de.** **Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Sam, now dressed as Sir Justice, is in the woods doing some training and exercises. Meanwhile, Wendy is behind a bush, eyeing him, taking notes and taking photos, checking to see if Sir Justice's habits and physical features are the same as Sam)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Sam, in his street clothes, is over at Stan's house, playing Super Smash Bros Wii U with Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Kyle. The four boys have accepted Sam into his group, and Sam is having a great time. He even came in first place in the brawl as Shulk. Kyle came in second as Marth, Stan in third as Kirby, Kenny in fourth as Link, and Cartman in dead last as Ganondorf. Cartman looks into the camera crying like a Pikachu with a broken ketchup bottle)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou  
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido  
Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to  
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Trent Boyett is thrown in a jail cell, and when the warden leaves, he begins to throw a tantrum, jumping up and down, shaking and biting the bars of his cell and punching the wall until his fist hurts)

(Author's Note: Next few shots give us an insight as to what might happen in Prologue 2. Since the prologues are based on previous South Park episodes, let's see if you can guess what episode I'm doing next)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte  
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo  
Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute  
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: In South Park Mall, a bunch of construction workers is building a new store, and a chubby guy with grey hair is observing the construction while signing documents with the foreman)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: On I-10, a slutty looking woman is in her limousine drinking bottles of scotch. Further ahead on the highway, the boy that was waiting at the bus station is riding said bus and looking at a picture of Sam, as well as Kurt, Justin, Bridgette, and Ursula. This boy is looking at Justin and Sam in particular. In fact, the boy looking at the picture _is_ Justin)

 **(Samayoinagara  
Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo  
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: Bebe Stevens is reading a newspaper article that her parents give her, and she jumps for joy after she reads it. Something good must be happening, or is about to happen in her life)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite  
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu  
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo  
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Some girls are looking at a website that has bottles of perfume, suggestive clothing, jewelry, and make up. One of them clicks on a button that says, "Order," and orders some of the items)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa  
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: Sam gets changed into a pair of orange pajamas, hangs his costume up in his closet, yawns, and goes to bed. He claps his hands to shut off the lights just as the song ends)

 **Question of the Chapter: What's your favorite South Park Character/Season/Episode?**


	2. Prologue 2: Stupid Spoiled Whore

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints Episode 2: Prologue 2: Stupid Spoiled Whore

 **Author's Note: I'm ignoring Butters' storyline and mainly focusing on Wendy's storyline.**

(It's a bright sunny day in South Park. A coach bus stops at a bus stop and lets some passengers off, one of which is a strong 10 year old with spiky strawberry blonde hair, a white tank top, black baggy pants with chains in the pockets, and black shoes. This is the same boy from the ending of the last chapter. This boy is Justin, Sam's old friend from Houston. He looks around at the town)

Justin: So this where Sammy boy has settled down. Pleasant, quaint. I hate it! There's no action here. What's a guy like me supposed to do here!? (Sigh) I might as well try and find, Sam. I'm sure we can get into something. Find some bullies to bash and collect the profit.

(A limousine speeds past him)

Justin: What in the blazes?

(He sees the limousine head straight for the South Park Mall)

Justin: Hmm, looks like I've found me some action. Let's rock!

(He runs for the mall, hoping to find the action that he craves)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a strange shadow that looks like a teenage boy with red eyes looking down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(The shadowy teen from earlier appears along with his 13 commanders that I also won't give away because spoilers. Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(The shadowy teen steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Sam is walking around the mall, sipping from a vanilla milkshake, enjoying some alone time)

Sam: (Takes a sip from his shake) I haven't gotten any action since that Trent Boyett dude threatened to harm those guys. (Sigh) It's hard to say whether I love or hate this town because of it. Back in Houston, my gang and I would've whooped five bullies asses by now. I wish they were here. I'd even be happy if just one of them were here with me right now.

(Sam takes another sip from his shake and sees Justin just sitting on a bench. In shock, Sam drops his shake and runs up to him)

Sam: Justin!

(Justin turns to see Sam)

Justin: Sammy boy!

(They run up to each other and high five)

Sam: What a surprise! So what brings you here to South Park, Justin?

Justin: I just came up to visit you. I figured I'd take a few mental health days from school to say hello.

Sam: Well that's nice. I appreciate it. So, how's the rest of the gang?

Justin: Kurt is doing fine. He's getting a lot better at using his paintball guns. Almost as good as you, pal. Bridgette is trying to expand her musical skills to instruments like the trumpet, violin, and drums. And Ursula is at the top of her fencing class.

Sam: Awesome. When you go back to Houston tell them I said hi and I hope that we can meet again. Who know, I might even swing by Houston during the summer and visit.

Justin: I'd like that. So, any sweet tail around in this town?

Sam: There are some cute girls. One of them is even a friend of mine. Her name is Wendy.

Justin: My boy! (Puts Sam in a headlock and noogies him) Sammy boy has found a significant other ladies and gentlemen!

Sam: (Laughs as Justin releases Sam from his grip) Relax, dude. She's not a girlfriend. I mean yeah, she's a girl, and she's a friend, but she's not my girlfriend.

Justin: Sure she isn't.

Sam: I'm serious.

Justin: Well if you're not interested, can I take a crack at her. I'd love to give her some good old fashioned Houston hospitality, if you know what I mean.

Sam: (Sigh) Oh, Justin, you haven't changed a bit have you?

Justin: Nope, and I have no interest in changing anytime soon. I love who I am, buddy!

(The two laugh)

Justin: But seriously, can I meet this Wendy chick?

Sam: Sure.

(Just then Wendy and another one of her friends, Bebe, run past the two boys)

Sam: Hey, that's her right now.

Justin: Which one? The girl in the pink hat or the cute blonde chick?

Sam: The girl in the pink hat.

Justin: Come on, let's go see them.

(Sam and Justin give chase)

(Meanwhile in another part of the mall, Bebe and Wendy push their way to the front of a crowd of people. At the front of the crowd is a stage and behind that is a big red curtain that's concealing something)

Bebe: Come on, Wendy, we're going to miss it!

Wendy: Miss what? (They push past some people) Excuse us, pardon us.

(Justin and Sam follow)

Justin: Make way, move over! Make room, coming through!

(The four kids make their way to the front where they find two other girls, and close friends of Wendy and Bebe, Annie and Red)

Justin: (Sees Annie and Red and thinks to himself) Two more cuties. Awesome!

Wendy: (Notices Sam and Justin) Hey, Sam.

Sam: Hey there, Wendy.

Wendy: So, who is your friend?

Bebe: Yeah, he looks cute.

Justin: (Blushes and acts humble) Aw shucks.

Sam: This is Justin. A friend of mine from Houston. He decided to come up and visit me.

Wendy: Nice to meet you, Justin. Well, since you've introduced us to your friend, I guess we'll introduce ourselves to you. (Turns to Justin) My name is Wendy.

(Justin and Wendy shake hands)

Justin: Sammy boy told me about you, Wendy. Might I add that you look magnificent.

Wendy: (Blushes) Thanks. Anyway, these are my friends. Meet Bebe, Annie, and Red. I don't think you've meet them either, Sam.

Sam: No I haven't. I mean, I've seen them around school, but I've never really taken any time to talk to them. But now that I have met them, it's a pleasure (He shakes the three girls' hands)

Annie: Thanks. Sam, right?

Sam: Correct.

Red: We heard about you from Wendy. You seem like a cool guy.

Sam: I'm glad you think so. (The six kids turn their attention towards the stage) So what's going on here?

Wendy: Yeah, why did you bring me here, Bebe?

Bebe: Paris Hilton is going to be making an appearance at the mall.

Justin: (Shocked) Paris Hilton. Like, _the_ Paris Hilton?! Not some kind of actor paid to play the role of Paris Hilton?!

Bebe: I swear, the real Paris Hilton is going to appear here in this mall! Any minute now she's going to walk on stage and dazzle us all with her presence.

Justin: I can't believe this! Paris is actually going to be here! She's like totally hot!

Wendy: Who's Paris Hilton?

Sam: Yeah, I've never heard of her either. And frankly, I wouldn't know her if I stepped on her.

Annie: You mean you two don't know?

(Wendy and Sam shake their heads and shrug their shoulders as a man in a black suit steps on stage)

Justin: Ssshhh, someone's coming!

(The man begins to talk)

Announcer: Hello, everyone. Thank you all for coming. The Guess Clothing Company is pleased to have as its new spokesperson model, a woman all you young ones can look up to, Ms. Paris Hilton!

(Paris Hilton walks up on stage as everyone cheers. She has blonde hair (most likely dyed), tan skin (most likely spray tan), and she's wearing nothing but a pink bra, short blue jean shorts, and pink boots)

Paris: Hey, get a load of this! (She lifts up her bra, exposing her breasts. Justin in particular is going wild)

Justin: OH MY GOD! SHE FLASHED ME! PARIS, I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO BE THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN! (He's grinning as he gets twinkles in his eyes)

Sam: (Shakes his head and chuckles) Only Justin.

(Sam looks to see Bebe, Annie, and Red, who are also star struck)

Bebe: Oh my god, that's really her! Paris, over here! I love your T.V show, "The World According to Paris." It's the greatest show since My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

(Sam and Wendy still look perplexed)

Wendy: I don't get it. What does she do?

Annie: She's super rich!

Sam: That doesn't answer our question. What does she do?

Red: She's totally spoiled and snobby.

Sam & Wendy: WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE DO!?

Man: (Overhears from behind them and says…) She's a whore.

Sam: Great, a whore. This is the kind of role model we have nowadays. What happened to the greats like John Lennon, Robin Williams, Susan B. Anthony, Nancy Reagan? Why aren't we worshipping them?

Justin: Oh, Sammy, you're overlooking one factor. Those bozos are out, and Paris is totally in!

(Paris begins to speak)

Paris: Hey, everyone! Sorry if I'm a little spent. I did a whole lot of partying last night with _a lot_ of different guys (coughs up some semen). Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Gouth Dark…

Wendy: SOUTH PARK!

Paris:…to announce the opening of my brand new store! A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me! (The curtain drops to reveal a store with a pink color motif) Stupid Spoiled Whore! (Everyone cheers) Have fun, girls. Always remember to party, sleep around with as many guys as you can, and be super lame to everybody. Peace in the Middle East!

(The crowd cheers some more as Paris Hilton leaves)

Justin: What are we waiting for, gang, let's head inside!

(Sam, Wendy, Red, Annie, and Bebe follow Justin into the store and they have a look around. The six kids walk down an aisle with dolls on one of the shelves to their left, and clothes to the shelves on the right)

Bebe: Wow, look at all of this cool stuff! (Grabs a Paris Hilton doll from the doll shelf) Stupid Spoiled Whore dolls.

Annie: (Grabs some clothes from the clothes shelf) Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes! (She rubs the fabric of the clothes against her face) So soft and warm!

Justin: (Sees a 17 year old girl walk out with her 10 year old sister, both of which are dressed like Stupid Spoiled Whores) I think I like this place.

(Red sees another shelf with a bunch of heart shape bottles)

Red: Hey, look everyone, it's the new Paris Hilton perfume! Skanque.

Voice: _Skanque…_

Sam: (Looks around as if he actually heard the voice) Did anyone else hear that?

Justin: Hear what?

Sam: Uh…never mind.

Annie: (About the perfume) Yeah, let's get lots of that!

Red: You got it! (She takes about seven bottles)

(Annie goes to another aisle with nothing but jewelry. Necklaces and rings as far as the eye can see. She comes back to the other five kids with hands full of the jewelry)

Annie: Check out this brand of jewelry. (She reads the brand name off the labels) It's called, Harlotte.

Voice: _Harlotte…._

(Both Wendy and Sam are looking around for the voice)

Sam: Okay, I know I'm not going crazy. I hear a voice!

Wendy: Yeah, me too.

Justin: (Looks at the two of them) You guys are insane. I can't hear a thing.

Annie: Grab all of the clothes you can so we can go to the changing room and try them on!

(Red, Annie, and Bebe start grabbing random clothes, perfumes, and jewelry when Wendy and Sam intervene)

Sam: Everyone, stop!

Wendy: Yeah, don't buy this stuff. Why do you want to be like Paris Hilton anyway?

Red: It's not just Paris. But also Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid, Kim Kardashian, Nikki Minaj, you name it! They're all stupid spoiled whores.

Wendy: But the idea that we'll be whorish for money is belittling to the female gender.

Sam: Not only that, but there are some severe consequences for this.

Red: Enlighten me.

Sam: Well let's see. If people see you dressed like a whore, they will take advantage of you, assuming you're easy. They'll use you for sex, because they'll think that's all you're good for, and meanwhile, you're probably more than just that. Not only that, but people that dress in outfits like those end up getting raped, kidnapped, killed, hell, maybe even all three. Need I remind you of what happened to Jean-Bennett Ramsey in 1996? I just don't want to see you guys end up dead in a basement somewhere.

Red: I'm impressed by all of the big words you used…but I didn't ask for a sermon.

Annie: You're just overreacting, Sam. We'll be fine. You worry about what's going on in your life, and we'll worry about what's going on in ours.

Sam: But…but…

Bebe: Get a clue, Sam. A whorish lifestyle like this is where it's at. (Looks at Wendy) And as far as being whorish for money, Wendy, I'm not interested in cash. I just want fame. And that's because the only thing more important than being rich is being famous.

Annie: Wow, you're really starting to sound like a dumb brat, Bebe.

Bebe: (Smiles) Thanks, Annie. So, are you ready to try on these new clothes.

Red and Annie: Yes!

Justin: What are you waiting for then, let's find some dressing rooms.

(Justin, Bebe, Red, and Annie go ahead and find some changing rooms while Wendy and Sam slowly follow behind)

Wendy: I don't like this. Why would they idolize someone like Paris Hilton. I just don't get it.

Sam: Not only that, but I don't like the idea of your friends hanging out with Justin if they're going to be whoring it up.

Wendy: What do you mean?

Sam: I know everything about Justin. He's a friend of mine. I've been friends with Justin for years, and I've worked with Justin numerous times. And in that time, I can confirm that he is a girl crazy creep. Now, I love Justin like a brother, but it's true. Back in Houston, I've seen him peep in on the girls' locker room in school. I'm worried that Justin might go over the edge and end up doing god knows what to those three.

Wendy: I see what you mean.

Sam: Yeah. I know he has something planned. I'm going to confront him right now!

(He charges ahead and Wendy is left in thought)

Wendy: (Thinking to herself) While I am concerned about Justin and my friends, I'm curious as to what Sam meant when he said, "I've worked with Justin numerous times?" (She gets a flashback from when Sam left Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny as Sir Justice) If Sam really is that Sir Justice guy…could it be possible that Justin is some kind of vigilante like him? (End flashback) I don't know.

(Wendy and Sam eventually catch up to Justin, who is standing in front of three changing room stalls)

Sam: Justin, we need to talk…

Justin: In a minute Sammy boy. (Turns to the changing rooms) Have you lovely ladies found something that you like?

Annie: I know I have.

Red: Yup.

Bebe: I love mine.

Justin: So I take it you've made your final decisions?

The three girls: Yup!

Justin: Then come on out and show these two your new wardrobe!

(The three doors open and the girls reveal their wardrobe. Their clothes are as follows…)

 **(Annie: An aquamarine tube top with teal-and-aquamarine wrap skirt, and white sandals. As for make up, she has pink blush, pink eye shadow, and pink lipstick)**

 **(Red: A violet bolero jacket with a brown fur trim, an orange bikini top, a blue denim miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and teal boots. As for make-up, she has pink blush, blue eye shadow, pink lipstick, and her raid hair has a glossy finish)**

 **(Bebe: a fluffy white shawl with a fluffy white brazier, red boots, and a red miniskirt that comes with a belt. The belt in question has a white buckle with a star on it. She also has pink hair extensions, pink eye shadow, red lipstick, and pink blush)**

Bebe: (Giggles) So, how do we look.

Justin: Mmm-mmm-MMM! It's hotter than the Sahara up in here! (Does a cat call and turns to Sam) So, Sammy boy, what do you think?

Wendy: Sam, you can't possibly be okay with this?

(Sam is astonished at Bebe, Annie, and Red's appearance and he doesn't know what to think)

Sam: Uh…I….I….I…(Blushes hard and some blood trickles out of his nose) My nose is bleeding. Is this an anime?

Wendy: Sam!

Sam: (Thinks to himself) I don't know what to think. I know I'm against this whore thing, but at the same time a growing boy like me is fascinated by the beauty that these three possess. No, I'm against it, I must ignore them! But at the same time, they look so adorable. Annie looks like a princess in that outfit, and those highlights really emphasize the majesty of Bebe's hair. No, what am I talking about! I don't want this! And yet I kind of do! What's happening? Why are my hormones doing this to me? Why? (Out loud) I'M SO CONFUSED!

Red: Aww, you're so cute, Sam.

(The three girls giggle causing Sam to get a nosebleed Soul Eater Evans style. The nosebleed was so strong that it sent Sam to the floor)

Wendy: Oh my God, Sam!

Bebe: Does he think we're _that_ fabulous?

Justin: Apparently so. Hey, I just got an idea. (He takes out his wallet and pulls out a wad of cash) What do you girls say we get out of here and go check out a movie?

Annie: We'd love that, Justin.

Justin: (Hands them some cash) You girls go on and pay for your things. I'll meet you outside.

Bebe: Okay.

(The three girls leave as Justin goes over to Sam. Wendy slaps him in the face and that brings him back to his senses. Sam wipes the blood from his nose)

Sam: Where am I?

Justin: Those three girls sure are something, huh, Sam?

Sam: Justin, that's right. I have to talk to you.

Justin: I have time for a little pow wow. What's up?

Sam: Just hang on. Wendy, can you go over there? I'll handle this.

Wendy: Actually, I have to head home. I'll see you tomorrow?

Same: Sure. Goodbye, Wendy.

(Wendy leaves the two boys alone so they can talk)

Sam: What do you plan on doing to Wendy's friends, Justin?

Justin: (Grins and cackles evilly) Isn't it obvious? I intend on "getting to these girls," if you know what I mean.

Sam: What do you mean? Do you plan on…having your way with them?

Justin: Oh yes!

Sam: (Gasps) But why? Why are you so concerned about sex? You're only 10 years old! _They're_ only 10 years old!

Justin: I know. But it's family tradition, you know. Every boy in my family since the days of the Civil War lost their virginities at the age of 10. I want to continue this tradition. See, the reason I came up to South Park was not only to visit you, but because I heard from this guy who knows a guy who knows a girl who knows another guy that knows a pedophile that the girls here in South Park are to die for. And it just so happens that I arrive on the same day that the Stupid Spoiled Whore fad takes effect. The fad where it's okay for little girls to act like perverts, grab on to the love handles, and go crazy! If I didn't know any better, I'd say that it's fate that drew me here. God wants me to get laid. And you know what, Sammy boy? When I first met Bebe, Annie, and Red, I was having a tough time trying to decide which one I would go after first. But after seeing them in those seductive outfits, I've made my decision…I want a harem.

Sam: What?! A harem?!

Justin: Is there an echo in here? Yes, I want a harem. I figured if I banged just one of them, it would be unfair to the other two. So I thought that it would be fair if the three of them got a chance to share me in an epic foursome. And if I so happen to run into more girls like those three who want to give me the time of day… (evil smirk) the more the merrier I guess.

Sam: You're pure evil! I can't believe I ever associated with you!

Justin: Relax bro, I'm going to use a condom!

Sam: I can't believe you! Someone like you actually fought alongside me for justice. And now you're talking about sex and lust! I knew you were girl crazy, but I never knew it would escalate to this point. This is beyond the pale, my friend!

Justin: Like I said, this sex thing is a tradition.

Sam: Some traditions are meant to be broken, you know!

Justin: Not this one, Sammy boy, not this one. Now, can you do me a favor and stay out of my way!

Sam: I'm going to stop you, Justin. Just you wait and see!

Justin: (Grins) Go ahead, pal, make my day! Now if you excuse me, I have three temptresses that are just dying to spend time with me. Later!

(Justin heads for the exit and he leaves with Bebe, Red, and Annie. Sam just looks on in disbelief, wondering what his next move should be)

(The next day, Sam is heading towards' Bebe's house)

Sam: If I just tell everyone's parents about what their daughters are up to, this thing will hopefully get nipped right in the bud, and it'll all be over.

(He walks up the front steps to Bebe's house, and knocks on the door. He is greeted by Bebe's father, Mr. Jeffrey Stevens)

Sam: Hey there, you must be Bebe's father. (Reaches his hand out) My name's Samuel Cooper. Everyone just calls me Sam though.

Jeffrey: Nice to meet you. Bebe told us about you last night. Apparently you had a nosebleed over her?

Sam: Oh she told you about that incident. Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was just a big crazy thing. I don't want to go into details. Can I come in?

Jeffrey: Sure.

(He lets Sam into his house)

Jeffrey: Have a seat on the couch, there.

(Sam sits on the couch, and Jeffrey sits on the lounge chair that lies adjacent to the couch)

Jeffrey: So what brings you by?

Sam: Well, sir, this concerns your daughter, Bebe. Is she home?

Jeffrey: No, she's out with some friends.

Sam: I see. Is her mother at least home?

Jeffrey: She's at work.

Sam: Ah. So it's just you.

Jeffrey: Just me.

Sam: Alrighty then. Anyway, there's this fad going around town where everyone dresses like…

Jeffrey: Stupid spoiled whores?

Sam: That's right, how did you know!

Jeffrey: We heard about it from a news article the other day. We showed Bebe and she was ecstatic. She came home yesterday looking like a totally different person. We allowed it because for one thing, Paris Hilton is her role model and we don't want to intervene in such matters, and second, if this is a fad, we don't want our daughter to be the only one in town not a part of it.

Sam: That's understandable. But now Bebe, along with her other friends, are hanging out with this kid who just means nothing but trouble. I heard him say that he wanted a harem with your daughter and everyone else's daughter.

Jeffrey: You don't say?

Sam: Yeah. So I was wondering if you could talk with Bebe since you're her father. She might listen to you.

Jeffrey: Well. This is all a lot to take in. Harems, toxic relationships.

Sam: So what are you going to do?

Jeffrey:…Nothing.

Sam: Say what now?

Jeffrey: Like I said, this stupid spoiled whore thing is a fad that everyone is doing. If harems are a part of the fad, then I have to let it be and hope that my little girl is okay with it.

Sam: So you're just going to sit back and let this happen!?

Jeffrey: Pretty much, yeah.

Sam: You fool! (He grabs Jeffrey by the shoulders and starts shaking him) You don't know what kind of danger your daughter is in. I'm trying to protect her. Please, sir, for your daughters' safety, end her involvement in this crazy thing you call a fad. You you have to stop her! YOU HAVE TO STOP HER!

(Jeffrey ends up throwing Sam out of his house and closing the door behind him)

Sam: (Gets up) I probably overreacted.

Justin: (From behind him) Aww, poor baby.

(Sam turns and around and looks at Justin)

Sam: Justin!

Justin: So I guess you resorted to telling the girls' parents. Well I got news for you, buddy. It's no use! They'll all tell you that it's a fad, and they don't want their girls to be excluded. It doesn't matter how hard you try, but the end result will always be the same: You getting kicked out of their houses, and wind up defeated and alone.

Sam: Shut up! Just shut up you idiot!

Justin: Hey, hey, is that anyway to talk to your friend.

Sam: If you were really my friend, you'd listen to me and not go through with this!

Justin: It's my life, Sammy boy. You have no control over it. Speaking of my life, I think I may have found more potential participants for my harem.

Sam: Dare I ask, who?

Justin: (Takes out a list and clears his throat as he rattles off a list of girls) Bebe, Annie, Red, Heidi, Millie, Sally (Starts reading them faster and faster) Esther, Meagan, Emily, Nelly, Jenny, Lola, Nichole, not one but two Kellies! I'm getting them all, boy-o!

 **(Author's note: I know the likes of Nichole, Nelly, and Jenny didn't exist until later seasons, and this episode takes place in Season 8, but let's say for this fanfic anything goes)**

Sam: I can't believe you! I seriously can't believe you, Justin! Do the girls at least know you plan on doing this?

Justin: No, I'd rather leave it as a surprise for them. And trust me when I say that girls love surprises!

Sam: No. No, this can't be happening!

Justin: (Laughs) It's happening! And I think I know when I'll make my move. Bebe is having a party this Friday since her parents are going out of town for some sort of high school reunion. And guess what, Bebe invited me.

Sam: No…

Justin: Yes! No parents plus trampy girls equals fun harem for me! I can't think of a more perfect math equation. Granted, Bebe did mention that they'd invite more boys, but I don't mind. I'll consider those boys an appetizer for them while I'm the main course! As long as they're not tired after dealing with those other losers, I'm a-okay! Now if you excuse me, Sammy boy, I have to go recruit more babes for my harem!

(He leaves and sings a parody of Hot Stuff by Donna Summer)

Justin: Looking for a harem! Baby on Friday! I need a harem! Baby that night! Getting a harem! Baby that evening! Have to get a harem! Gonna get some love that night!

Sam: What can I do now?

(Just then, Wendy comes up from behind him)

Sam: Wendy, it's you!

Wendy: Hey, Sam. How's it going?

Sam: Not good. I tried talking to Mr. Stevens about Bebe's behavior.

Wendy: How did it go?

Sam: Not well. What's going on with you?

Wendy: I just got back from Jessie and Kal's place. They're a part of the whore fad too. For all I know, they could be making a sex tape at this very moment.

Sam: Yikes. So what do we do now? All of the girls are acting like total harlots, and Justin is getting a harem put together as we speak.

Wendy: There's only one person I know that can take down this fad properly.

Sam: Who?

Wendy: Follow me.

(Sam and Wendy go to the Testaburger Residence. The two kids look through the window to find Doug Testaburger and his wife watching The Price is Right on T.V)

Wendy: Okay, follow my lead and act real cool.

Sam: Got it! I'll be cool as a cucumber!

(Wendy takes out her house keys, unlocks the front door, and enters the house. Wendy and Sam walk up to her parents, and Sam is walking up to them like a Team Skull grunt (Wendy did say to act real cool))

Sam: Yo, yo, what's up my peeps!

Wendy: (Whispers) Not _that_ cool.

Sam: Sorry, I'll tone it down a bit for you.

Doug: Hey there, Wendy. Hey there, Sam.

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Nice to see you.

Doug: So what's up, kids?

Wendy: See, I'm growing concerned about the role models that young women have in today's society.

Doug: (Too into his show) Is that right?

Wendy: Yeah. It seems that lewdness and shallowness is being exalted while intellectualism is looked down upon.

Doug: (Still watching his show)…Gosh.

Wendy: I think young women are being marketed to by corrupt, moral-less corporations.

Sam: And the end result is disastrous. Nothing but harems and sadness for the girls down the road.

Doug: Well, we'll get right on fixing that, kids. Do you two want to watch the Price is Right with us?

(Wendy and Sam are falling silent)

Wendy: Excuse us for one moment.

(The two kids go into the kitchen)

Sam: Your father seems unfazed by this all.

Wendy: I know. He's usually all fired up about stuff like this. But this time, nothing.

Sam: (Looks at them in the living room) I wouldn't be surprised if it's because of the T.V. Let's unplug it!

Wendy: No, that won't work. Trust me.

Sam: Well, I have another idea then. Let's say something that'll trigger him.

Wendy: What could possibly trigger him at a time like this?

(Sam whispers in Wendy's ear his plan. After that, the two kids head back into the living room)

Wendy: Dad?

Doug: Yes, sweetie?

Wendy: There's a new store at the mall called "Stupid Spoiled Whore" and…..and…

Doug: What is it, sweetie?

Wendy: I….I….

Sam: (Chimes in) I'm thinking about buying her a thong!

Doug: WHAT!? (He gets up from the couch and throws a Bible that was sitting on the coffee table right at Sam, who dodges out of the way)

Sam: She asked me to! Don't take it out on me!

Doug: Is that true, Wendy?

Wendy: (Sighs as she realizes she has to go along with the lie) Yeah.

Doug: Well, no daughter of mine is going to dress like a whore! We're going down to that store right now, young lady! Both of you, into the car, let's go!

(Doug grabs his keys)

Wendy: Are you okay, Sam?

Sam: Yeah, I'm okay. But _that's_ how you trigger someone like your father. Piece of cake.

Wendy: Yeah, we got phase 1 completed. Now hopefully dad will talk with the manager and have the store shut down. And if that doesn't happen, then it's time to bust out the strikes, boycotts, and picket signs. And if that doesn't work…I don't what's going to happen.

Doug: (Honks the horn of his car) COME ON!

(The two kids hurry outside so Doug can take them to the mall)

(At the mall)

Doug: (Holding Wendy's hand so she doesn't get lost as they walk through the mall as Sam is trying his best to catch up to them)

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Can you hold my hand? I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Doug: Not a chance. You're trying to turn my daughter into a whore. (Under his breath) Who does he think he is walking into my house like a damn gangster and talking slick, trying to give my daughter a thong. He must be out of his damn mind.

Sam: (To himself) I'm starting to question whether my method to light a fire in his belly was a smart one.

(They arrive at the store. They enter and Doug is shocked at what he sees. From the products to the girls that are around dressing like whores. Suffice it to say, it shocked him)

Doug: Oh my god! What is this place?

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Welcome to hell. A.K.A: Stupid Spoiled Whore.

(The group goes deeper into the store. Meanwhile, Justin is in one of the aisles looking over his list)

Justin: 22….23….24….25 cute girls ready to ride the Justin Express on a one way trip to Pleasure Town! I think that's a pretty decent harem if I do say so myself. Now to prepare for the night! (Looks at some costumes) I'm thinking about role playing. Should I have them be the caring nurses wanting to treat their ever so handsome patient? Or have them be the horny school girls who are craving the love and caress of their amazing teacher. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

(Just then, he sees Doug, Wendy, and Sam approach Bebe, Annie, and their mothers)

Justin: What is Sammy boy up to this time?

(With the trio, Doug goes up to Annie's mother)

Doug: Mrs. Knitts! Are you seriously going to buy this stuff for your daughter?

Mrs. Knitts: Well, I don't want my little girl to be the only one not in a trend. She'll be unpopular.

Doug: Unpopular?! If she's not a whore?! That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard! These are our girls that we're talking about. Where is the manager! I demand to speak with him at once!

Sam: (In his head) What in the world makes him think the manager is a man?

(Bebe's mom steps forward and speaks up)

Mrs. Stevens: I think it's empowering for them, Doug. I mean, if a man wants to be a whore it's normal, but if a woman wants to be one it's _wrong!_

(Justin enters the scene)

Justin: And when a man pees standing up it's normal. However, when a woman does it it's weird! Or what about when a man wants to shave his privates, it's okay. But when a women does it, it's strange.

Sam: What are you saying, Justin?

Justin: I'm saying that women have been put down for so long, and they deserve some kind of empowerment.

Doug: But…but!

(Just then two teen girls, one wearing jean shorts and a pink tank top and another wearing a sleeveless blue sweatshirt and black skirt, go up to him)

Pink tank top girl: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. (Starts caressing him) All the girls in South Park are going to be total sluts from now on, so get used to it!

Blue sweatshirt girl: (Twerks against him) Yeah, what she said. By the by, mister, can you buy me that purse over there. I'll do anything since I'm a slut!

Doug: (Blushing hard and getting a nosebleed) Well, uh, sure. I can buy you a purse.

Sam: WHAT!?

Wendy: Dad!

Doug: (Wipes blood from his nose) No, kids, I think they're right. You see, you have to believe in the rights of women. For too long they have been forced to live a double standard. I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, Wendy. And I'm sorry for throwing a bible at you, Sam. (Tosses Sam a fifty dollar bill, and he looks on it in confusion) Go buy my daughter the best thong you can find and then some!

Sam: What is happening right now?

Doug: Wendy, from now on you can have whatever you want from this store. I will help you make you the stupidest and most spoiled whore of them all!

Females: Hooray!

Justin: Yes!

Wendy & Sam: No….

(Doug, Wendy, and Sam get ready to leave the store, but Justin stops Sam before he goes anywhere)

Justin: Nice try, Sammy! Trying to get someone like him on your side. But it wasn't enough. I'm going to get my harem whether you like it or not.

Sam: (Flips him off with a look of anger and sadness, and he leaves)

Justin: Real mature.

Annie: (From a distance) Oh, Justin! Can you tell me how I look in this new necklace?

Justin: Coming sweetness!

(In the mall's food court, Wendy and Sam are sitting on a bench waiting for Doug to bring back ice cream from Baskin-Robins)

Sam: I don't know what else we can do. Wendy, do you have any bright ideas.

Wendy: (Sighs) I'm afraid that I have none.

Sam: But, Wendy. You always have the best ideas. Between the two of us, you're the brains.

Wendy: I'm sorry. I just have no ideas left to give.

Sam: Well what are we going to do then?

Wendy: I didn't want to have to do this. But if my father couldn't help us, I know we're fucked.

Sam: What are you going to do?

Wendy: I'm going to give in to conformity.

Sam: You don't mean…

Wendy: Yes. I'm going to submit to this trend and go down gracefully. I might not know how to act like a whore, but I do know how they dress. You know, relaxed clothing, make up, all of that. That part shouldn't be too hard.

Sam: I can't believe it. The Wendy I know would never give up! She'd go down fighting to her last breath! Well guess what! I'm going to take care of this! (Gets up from his seat) I'm going to tell Sir Justice about what's happening. If these girls won't listen to your father, maybe they'll listen to him!

Wendy: Sam…

Sam: Save it, Wendy! I won't let you conform to this _whore-ifying_ fad…pun entirely intended!

(He leaves as Doug comes back with three ice cream sundaes)

Doug: Where's your friend off to, sweetie?

Wendy: He had something important to do, I guess.

(Back at the Cooper Residence, nighttime has fallen, and Sam busts into his room, undresses from his street clothes, and gears up in his Sir Justice costume)

Sam/Sir Justice: Duty calls, and Sir Justice answers!

(He opens his bedroom window and jumps out of the window, jumping on his trampoline, flips in the air a few times, and sticks the landing. It's at that moment when he sees Red, Bebe, and Annie walking down the street with Justin. Sam/Sir Justice jumps in front of the four and stops them)

Justin: (In his mind) For crying out loud. What is he doing now?

Bebe: Who is this guy?

Sam/Sir Justice: Ladies! Why are you dressed like this!

Red: Whoever he is, he clearly hasn't heard of the stupid spoiled whore fad.

Justin: (Pretending now to know who he is) Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?

Sam/Sir Justice: I am the defender of all that is good! I am the bane of anything sinful! My name is Sir Justice!

Annie: Sir Justice? Hey you're that guy that saved Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny!

Sam/Sir Justice: Glad to know that someone recognizes me for my heroic deeds. Anyway, you are dressed like that because of a trend?

Bebe: That's right.

Sam/Sir Justice: I've heard about the SSW Trend you all speak of from a devoted fan of mine, Samuel Cooper.

Annie: You know, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: We're practically related! Like brothers, see? Anywho, those clothes are sinful, and your actions are just as _whore-endous…_ pun definitely intended! If you girls continue down the path you're heading, it will lead to STDS, pregnancies, and maybe even your own untimely deaths! I recommend you get out of those ridiculous clothes, and get away from that boy! (Points at Justin)

Justin: Me?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes, you! Girls, Sam told me something awful about this guy. Did you know that he plans to have a harem with you all?

Red: A harem?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes. He's going to have his way with you and all of your friends. This boy is bad news!

Annie: Is that true.

Justin: (Sigh) That's right.

(Red, Bebe, and Annie appear to get angry)

Bebe: Why you!?

Red: How could you! I thought we could trust you, Justin.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to himself) I did it! I saved the girls! Mission accomplished!

Justin: Now girls, hear me out.

Annie: What you are doing has to be the most…..(Three girls have a change their moods from angry to happy) awesome thing you could ever do!

Justin: Huh?

Sam/Sir Justice: WHAT!

Annie: I can just imagine. A harem with all of us!

Red: You could've told us, Justin.

Bebe: You shouldn't keep surprises or secrets from us.

Justin: Well, I guess I wasn't thinking properly.

Sam/Sir Justice: This isn't what I expected. But girls, please listen to me!

Bebe: Save it Sir Justice! We're out of here. Come on, everyone!

(Bebe leaves with Red following her, Annie following Red, and Justin following Annie. Sam/Sir Justice looks at them as they leave, and Justin turns back and flips Sam off, causing him to growl in anger)

(Later that evening, Sam is trying to get some sleep, but he keeps wriggling and writhing under his covers. He is having a bad dream)

(In the bad dream)

 _Sam: (Wandering the streets of a monochrome South Park. The only thing that's colorful is himself and any other people. As he is wandering, he sees a baby carriage in the middle of the street. He runs up to it and sees a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, similar to Bebe's. The baby is cooing and giggling, reaching out for Sam) A baby? But whose is it?_

 _Bebe: Hey! Back off from my baby!_

 _(Bebe smacks Sam hard on the face leaving a red mark)_

 _Sam: Bebe…you're a mother?_

 _Bebe: I don't want you to talk to me or my son ever again, you creep!_

 _Sam: Who did this to you?_

 _Bebe: Justin. Who else? Hmph! Justin, that freaking deadbeat. I should've never had that harem with him if I knew that this was the price to pay (She leaves with the baby)._

 _Sam: No! (He runs through the town, and sees Annie on her knees crying in the middle of the street. He runs up to her to see what's wrong) Annie, what's the matter?_

 _Annie: (Snivel) Take a look. (She takes out a piece of paper and it reads that she tests positive for HIV)_

 _Sam: Annie, no!_

 _Annie: Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do. But I know who to blame for this…(Cue Skyward Scream) FUCK YOU JUSTIN!_

 _Sam: Oh please, no! (He sees a funeral service at the cemetery across the street, and he checks it out. He pushes his way to the front of the crowd to see a gravestone that reads, "R.I.P Red." Sam begins to cry) Oh no, it's Red! What happened to her!?_

 _Mourner: You didn't hear? She committed suicide. After that harem, she thought that all she was good for was sex. Because of that, she got depressed and lost any and all hope to live, and she hung herself._

 _Sam: Oh my god, no!_

 _(He runs from the funeral and heads for a street corner, and sees Wendy in a slutty dress talking with a hooded guy)_

 _Sam: (Runs up to Wendy) Wendy, what are you doing?_

 _Wendy: I'll deal with you in a moment, Sam. I'm with another customer._

 _(The customer lifts his hood and it's Justin)_

 _Justin: Hey there, Sammy boy!_

 _Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

(Sam wakes up from his nightmare to the sound of an alarm clock. Sam turns it off and looks around the room, panting. He then covers his face with his hands and cries into them)

(Later that day in school, Sam is at his locker loading his backpack with his books. He has a look of worry on his face. Today was the day Bebe was going to have her party. If he didn't stop the girls or Justin _today,_ who knows what would happen from there. He closes his locker and sees Wendy come up to him all depressed. She's wearing a blue tank top with the word, "Party" on it, blue jeans and some lip gloss)

Sam: Hey, Wendy.

Wendy: (Hugs Sam)

Sam: What's wrong?

Wendy: I tried to get into Bebe's whore party, but they said I wasn't stupid, spoiled, or whorish enough to take part in it.

Sam: So fuck them. You don't need to act like a whore to impress them. I like you just the way you are. That's all that matters

Wendy: Sam, you're being kind, and I appreciate that. But, no, this is something I have to do. I've decided to learn how to become a whore from the best.

Sam: Who is that?

Wendy: You remember Mr. Garrison, my teacher?

Sam: Yeah?

Wendy: Well, he has a boyfriend named Mr. Slave. I figured he can teach me how to be a filthy whore so I can be accepted.

Sam: Wendy, you don't have to do this.

Wendy: I know. But if I ever want to fit in then…

Sam: FUCK FITTING IN! I thought you were a perfect person. You don't need to be like those other bitches! In fact, I'm going to find them and give them a piece of my mind, and so I can end this shitty trend!

(He storms off and Wendy leaves the scene, still hoping to find Mr. Slave)

(In another part of the school, he sees Annie, Bebe, Red, and two other girls, Millie and Sally inviting guys to the party)

 **(Millie is wearing a green one piece swimsuit and black eye shadow)**

 **(Sally is wearing a lavender crop top with a matching skirt and shoes)**

Sally: Hey, here comes Clyde!

(Clyde walks by)

Bebe: Clyde, there's a party tonight at my house tonight at 7:00. You're invited!

Clyde: Cool, I'll be there!

Milly: Mmm-Mmm-MMM! I'd like a piece of that!

Red: Yeah, I want to do him!

(Clyde blushes hard and gets a nosebleed)

Annie: Here comes Kyle!

(Kyle walks by)

Kyle: Hey, girls.

Sally: Yeah, talk to me kosher boy!

Millie: I sure would like to twizel his pixie stick!

Sam: (To himself) There they are!

(Token walks by next)

Bebe: Now here's what I'm talking about! A little midnight blue!

Token: Say what?

Millie: I'd like to wax his crankshaft!

Sam: (To himself) I just need to figure out how I can shut them down before any harm can come to both themselves and Wendy.

(Tweek and Craig walk by)

Annie: Tweek and Craig! That'll be a great threeway! (Blushes) I'm getting spit roasted tonight! I know it!

Sam: (To himself) But I've tried just about everything to get them to stop. What else haven't I tried?

(Cartman walks by next, hoping that he gets invited)

Cartman: (Imitating a girls' voice) Hey look, there's Cartman! We should totally invite him to the party for sure!

(No response from the girls)

Cartman: (Imitating Bebe) Hey, Millie, don't you want to lick on Cartman's lollipop? (Now imitating Millie) Oh, totally! I bet it's as big and juicy as mama's skirt steaks!

Millie: Boy, I wouldn't lick your lollipop even if it meant it would grant me eternal life and bring in a new era of world peace.

Cartman: (Heartbroken) Oh yeah, well…..Fuck you Annie! Fuck you Millie! Fuck you Bebe! Fuck you Red! And fuck you Sally, you bitch!

(He leaves, and Sam sees that Cartman's little curse out rattled the girls a little bit)

Sam: (To himself) That's it! I've got to be mean! If I act mean towards those girls, they'll feel bad about themselves and want to get rid of those outfits. It's a sure thing! I don't like to be the bad guy, though, and my parents always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all, but what other choice do I have? Okay, here I go!

(Sam leaves his hiding place and tries to walk by the girls. Sure enough, they begin hitting on him)

Sally: (Cat calls) Hey there sexy boy!

(Sam stops right in front of them)

Bebe: There's a party tonight at my house, Sam, and you're invited.

Millie: I'd like to nibble on his hot dog!

Annie: You and me both!

Sam: (Unfazed) Uh-huh. Interesting.

Bebe: Something wrong, Sammy? (Takes out a box of chocolates) Have some of Paris Hilton's new candies: "French Kisses"

Voice: _French Kisses…_

Sam: (To himself) If I hear that voice one more time, I'm going to scream! (Out loud) Thanks for the offer, Bebe. But I'm fine. I just have something I wanted to tell you girls.

Red: What is it?

Sam: (To himself) Okay, here we go. (He takes a deep breath and lets loose) Red that outfit is stupid as hell! The colors fucking clash and it's a big eyesore! _You're_ a big eyesore, especially with that glossy hair that's so blinding I can almost not see how ugly you look! And why are you wearing an orange bikini top if you have no boobs to show it off in, Ms. Tiny Tits!

(Red is shocked and Millie is next)

Sam: Millie, why are you wearing that! Are you going swimming!? It's the middle of March! It's still too cold to go swimming! And if you're not dressed to go swimming, then what are you, a Poison Ivy cosplayer? You are no Poison Ivy, girl! You wish you can be as awesome as her, you fucking scrublord!

(Millie is shocked and Bebe is next)

Sam: Bebe, what even is your hair! Those highlights make you look like a reject pokemon! You look like a Pidgey! No, a Pidgeot! No…YOU LOOK LIKE A PIDGEOTTO!

(Bebe is shocked and Annie is next)

Sam: Annie, what even is your wardrobe! I can't tell if you're supposed to be a New Orleans citizen during Mardi Gras, an Egyptian princess, or a Latina wannabe pop star, but you look awful! If those were the three styles you were going for, then you fail on every single front!

(Annie is shocked and Sally is last)

Sam: And finally, Sally! I just flat out hate your outfit because it looks boring! You're boring, and I never want to hang out with you.

(Sally is shocked)

Sam: So, what do you girls think?

(There is a silence and then…)

 _ **WHAM! POP! BANG! POW! THWUMP!**_

(The five girls punch and kick Sam square in the face, sending him flying into a wall)

Red: Fuck you too!

Annie: Yeah, not cool!

Millie: Your words pierce our hearts like thousands of knives.

Bebe: And just for that, you are un-invited to my party.

(The five girls leave)

Sam: Good! I never wanted to go to your stupid party to begin with! (To himself) Damn, that didn't work either! All it did was relieve stress from this bad situation. What's my next course of action? (He gets up and thinks for a while before saying this out loud…) YES! The whole reason the girls are acting like this is because that store exists. So if that's the case then the most logical thing to do would be to destroy the store! No more store means no more whore! (He looks at his watch and sees that it's almost 3:00) I only have four hours before the party begins! I don't know when this harem that Justin is raving about is going to happen, but if I had to guess, I'd say it'd be…uh?

(Suddenly Heidi is passing Sam and she overhears him)

 **(Heidi is wearing a white crop top and matching skirt and shoes, and she has blue eye shadow)**

Heidi: 12:00 midnight.

Sam: Huh?

Heidi: Bebe says that her party is going to end at about 12:00 midnight, and that's when she said we're going to have our harem with this Justin dude. (Cue bedroom eyes) Do you plan on joining us? You know, in case Justin can't satisfy all of us?

Sam: Oh god no! Go away, just go!

(Heidi leaves)

Sam: 12:00 midnight. That means I have nine hours to destroy the store. I only need one! Closing time, that's when it goes down.

(Later that evening, around 10:00, the mall closes for the evening. The guards lock up the front doors, but that's not the entrance Sam, or rather Sir Justice, is going to use. When the guard leaves in his car, Sam/Sir Justice pops out from the bushes and looks at his watch)

Sam/Sir Justice: 10:00. 2 hours left. Like I said, I only need one.

(Sam heads for a nearby air vent and busts it open with a crowbar he got from home. Once its open, Sam crawls inside and moves freely throughout the store. In the vents, Sam pulls out a map of the mall that he printed out)

Sam/Sir Justice: If this map is correct, then Stupid Spoiled Whore should be to the right (Turn) left (Turn) left (Turn) right (Turn) right (Turn) right (Turn) left (Turn) and the fourth vent on the right (Turn)

(Sam makes it to a dead end and looks down underneath to see the store. He them maneuvers his body so his feet are facing the vent door and he kicks it loose allowing him into the store. Upon entering Stupid Spoiled Whore he looks around and pulls out his lightsaber toy)

Sam/Sir Justice: Enjoy your last moments of being in one piece you good for nothing products! Because I am going to destroy you all! FOR JUSTICE!

(Cue Party Up in Here by DMX)

 **(Y'all gon' make me lose my mind! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me go all out! Up in here, up in here!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice is knocking all of the bottles of Skanque perfume off the shelves, causing them to shatter and break all over the floor)

 **(Y'all gon' make me act a fool! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me lose my cool! Up in here, Up in here!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice it taking all of the Harlotte jewelry and stomping on them, causing them to break)

 **If I gotsta bring it to you cowards then it's gonna be quick, aight. All you men up in the jail before, suck my dick! And all them other cats you run with, get done with, dumb quick! How the fuck you gonna cross the dog with some bum shit?)**

(Sam/Sir Justice is taking all of the clothes, throwing them in one area of the store. Then he takes some matches and lights the clothes on fire, making sure to stomp the fire out once all that remained were ashes)

 **(There go the gun click, 911 shit! All over some dumb shit, ain't that some shit? Y'all niggas remind me of a strip club, 'cause everytime you come around it's like what? I just gotta get my dick sucked)**

(Sam/Sir Justice takes the French Kisses candy, eats a few, enjoys them, and then throws them all on the ground to stomp on them until they are chocolate dust)

 **(Y'all gon' make me lose my mind! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me go all out! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me act a fool! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me lose my cool! Up in here, up in here!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice is pushing down shelves and breaking all of the mannequins. At one point, he gets carried away, removes his falcon mask, and makes out with one of the mannequins)

 **(One, two! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! All my Ruff Riders! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice is using his paintball guns to write his logo, the letters S and J, on the wall and he's laughing all the while)

 **(All my big ballers! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice is looking at the ruined store, proud of his vandalism)

 **(All my fly ladies! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! All my street street people! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside, motherfucker!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice takes a selfie with his phone of the destruction and he's giving the victory sign and smiling)

Sam/Sir Jusitce: (Looks at the picture) Stupid Spoiled Whore is Stupid Spoiled No More!

 **(Song fades out)**

(Sam, still dressed as Sir Justice, is running down the street to Bebe's house)

Sam/Sir Justice: All I have to do now is show the girls this picture. Once they see the destruction I've caused, they'll realize that there are people against this store. Hopefully they'll learn the error of their ways if their favorite store is being attacked. They'll realize that girls shouldn't be whores like Paris Hilton if they see her store is a wreck. This has to work! It just has to!

(As he runs, he manages to catch up to Wendy, now back in her regular clothes, and Mr. Slave)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey there, young citizen!

Wendy: (Turns around and sees Sir Justice) It's that Sir Justice guy! (To herself) Or…is it Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: Sam told me everything that has happened over the past few days. I couldn't live with myself if I knew the little girls of this town are running around like sex craved maniacs. Might I ask who this man is?

Wendy: This is Mr. Slave. He's my teacher, Mr. Garrison's, boyfriend.

Mr. Slave: Hey there.

Sam/Sir Justice: Nice to meet you!

(They both shake hands)

Mr. Slave: Oh! Jesus Christ! For a little boy you have a strong grip.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks. I work out. Anyway, Wendy, why did you decide not to continue being a whore?

Wendy: We'll talk on the way there.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at his watch to see that its 11:30) Good idea! We only have 30 minutes left before Justin gets his harem!

(The trio run at top speeds to Bebe's house)

Wendy: I originally went to Mr. Slave so he can teach me how to be a whore. But after listening to his life story, he told me that he can't make me into a whore, and some people are born lewd. I'm not one of those people.

Mr. Slave: And neither are those girls. They're being something that they're not!

Wendy: Exactly. And it was then he told me to be proud of who I am, and fuck what everyone else thinks.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to himself) No shit, that's what I was fucking talking about. (Out loud) I'm glad you've had a change of heart, little one. Me, I've decided to destroy Stupid Spoiled Whore. I figured if I got rid of the store, the girls would see it as a message that whorish behavior isn't tolerated and they'd stop.

Mr. Slave: Well, you're thinking outside the box. I'll give you that.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thank you, sir! All we have to do is shut this party down. For me, that's showing the girls the pictures I've taken of the store. For you, Mr. Slave, sir, do your own thing…you know your, talking thing that Wendy told me about.

Mr. Slave: You got it.

(Sam/Sir Justice looks at his watch and sees that its 11:45)

Sam/Sir Justice: Shake a leg! We only have 15 minutes left!

(The trio hurry to Bebe's house)

(Meanwhile, at Bebe's house, the party is raging on. Some guys are trying to mingle with a few girls, but some of the girls (The two Kellies, Red, Annie, Beth, Millie, and Bebe) come on too strong and are chasing some of the guys (Kyle, Kevin, Stan, Kenny, Craig, Tweek, and some kid in a blue hat). Justin on the other hand has a grand majority of the females eating out of the palm of his hand as he is singing Eurovision)

Justin: (Singing) You and me, can't you see we're playing with fire! Tell me now, do you feel this burning desire! Don't stop make it rock its taking us higher! Could it be just a dream…are you running away?!

(As the party rages on, the trio finally makes it to Bebe's house)

Sam/Sir Justice: We made it! And with five minutes to spare! Okay, stand back! JUSTICE JUMP KICK!

(Sam/Sir Justice kicks the door off its hinges and it flies right towards Justin, who promptly gets hit with it. He removes the door in anger)

Justin: (To himself) Grrr! I'm getting just a little bit annoyed with Sammy boy right about now!

(Everone's attention is drawn towards Sam/Sir Justice, Wendy, and Mr. Slave)

Sam/Sir Justice: Ladies! Lend me your ears, please! Your Stupid Spoiled Whore store is no more!

Annie: What are you talking about, you party foul!?

Sam/Sir Justice: This is what I'm talking about (Takes out his phone and shows the girls the photos of the destruction).

Bebe: Oh my god! What have you done!

Sam/Sir Justice: I've saved your asses! The citizens of South Park have called on me to take care of this store because they don't approve of this trend.

Annie: So you destroyed it!?

Sam/Sir Justice: Exactly.

Justin: (Steps up) You know what, superhero fuckface! You're really beginning to piss me off. You have about 10 seconds to get out of here or I'll see to it that you're breathing through a tube for the rest of your life! Do any of ladies want to see me teach this fool a lesson?

Girls: YEAH!

Justin: (Cracks his knuckles) Alright then.

Sam/Sir Justice: HOLD ON! Before you do battle with me, this man behind me has something to say.

(Mr. Slave steps up)

Mr. Slave: Well now. I've heard from little Wendy over here that you girls are having a Stupid Spoiled Whore Party.

Bebe: That's right. (Turns to Wendy) What did you do, Wendy? Did you rat on us because you weren't invited to my Paris Hilton party? She's not going to be impressed when she gets here.

Wendy: What do you mean when she gets here?

Bebe: I looked on the back of this French Kisses candy box and I saw an e-mail address where I can get in contact with Paris herself. I invited her to this party so she can see how cool I am, and maybe let me make a cameo on the next episode of her show.

Sam/Sir Justice: Seriously?

Bebe: Like I said, the only thing more important than being rich is being famous.

Mr. Slave: Well until she gets here, I just want to talk with you girls for a sec, okay? Listen. The last person you all want to be is Paris Hilton!

(Paris then enters the scene)

Paris: WOOO! Party! Where's do you all keep the vodka?

Mr. Slave: (Unaware of Paris' coming) Paris Hilton is a nobody. She may have money, but she's a thoughtless and talentless lowlife.

Paris: (Overhears) Who the fuck are you calling a lowlife, fag?

Bebe: (Squeals) Paris Hilton actually came to my party! (Faints)

Mr. Slave: Ms. Hilton, can you tell these girls that being a whore isn't such a great thing.

Paris: What isn't great about it? What's more to life than partying?

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's see: having a family, getting a job, graduating high school and then college.

Paris: Boring! And that was a rhetorical question you wannabe Marvel Comics superhero.

Red: Oh, get wrecked!

Mr. Slave: Look, girls, I've partied a lot in my day, and I'm telling you that there's more to life.

Paris: You don't even know what partying is, loser. (Cue hair flip)

Annie: Wow, what a bitch. I love it!

Mr. Slave: Listen, sweetie, I know you've done some partying in your private little rich life, but you don't even want to know the kind of shit I've done. I'm the real whore, and I'm telling you it isn't great.

Paris: Oh yeah?! Well then I challenge you to a whore-off!

Mr. Slave: Challenge accepted. How does town square tomorrow at high noon sound?

Paris: See you there.

(Paris does another hair flip and leaves)

Justin: (Begins to leave)

Bebe: Justin, where are you going?

Justin: It's getting late, babe, and I'm tired. Tell you what, ladies, we'll have our little harem tomorrow. (Points at Mr. Slave) In celebration of this old hag's defeat!

Girls: YEAH!

Justin: See you all tomorrow.

(Justin leaves and Wendy, Sam/Sir Justice, Mr. Slave follow)

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Slave, sir. You have to win this whore off! If you win, then maybe that'll be enough for the girls to realize that Paris Hilton isn't all that, and they'll go back to the way they were.

Wendy: You have to win this, Mr. Slave. There is no other option!

Mr. Slave: I'll do my best, kids.

Sam/Sir Justice: Do more than just your best. Give it 100 percent, no not even, give it 110 percent, no…OVER 9,000 PERCENT! That's how much is at stake here.

Mr. Slave: You can count on me.

(The next day, the whore off begins. High noon at South Park Town Square just like Mr. Slave said. In the middle of town square is a stage. On the stage is Paris Hilton on the left side and Mr. Slave on the right. An official comes up on stage and tests the microphone before speaking)

Official: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! The South Park Chamber of Commerce is pleased to bring you the first annual, "Who is the Biggest Whore" Showdown!

(The crowd cheers. Justin is in the crowd and he has set up a lawn chair and sipping on a drink. Next to him are nine of the girls form the party last night (Heidi, Annie, Bebe, Red, Esther, Millie, the two Kellies, and Beth)

 **(Beth has black hair, and is wearing a black, pink, and white tube top, a hot pink skirt, and pink heels)**

 **(Esther is wearing a green-and-black military patterned halter top, blue jeans, and black stiletto-heeled boots. She also has pink blush with blue eye shadow)**

 **(The first Kelly, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter has blonde hair and pigtails, and is wearing a pink and black brassiere, a black tube top, blue miniskirt with white stars and a white line around it, black mascara, cyan eye shadow, two purple-beaded hair ties, and white shoes)**

 **(The second Kelly, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin (She'll become important later in the story) has brunette hair, and is wearing a brown and black tank-top, black high-heels, a short, black skirt, a white fur scarf, dark purple eye shadow, and black mascara)**

Bebe: Mr. Slave has no idea what he's in for.

Red: Yeah. Paris is going to rock his world.

Justin: For the sake of our harem, Paris better win. (He takes out more lawn chair from out of nowhere and offers them for the girls) Here are some more lawn chairs if your beautiful legs ever get tired.

Annie: Thanks, Justin.

Justin: My pleasure. (Takes out more drink bottles and buckets of popcorn) Have some snacks for the show too. I don't want you all going into the harem on an empty stomach.

Bebe: Where are you even getting all of this stuff from?

Justin: (Points at a booth not too far from him) There's a guy selling them over there for just a dollar each.

Vendor: WOOO! GO PARIS HILTON!

Justin: (Gives a thumbs up to the vendor) Yeah, rock on brother! (Turns back to the girls) So sit back and relax my ladies. This is going to be the greatest show on Earth.

(Meanwhile, Sam/Sir Justice is a top a building eyeing the competition with a pair of binoculars. He's looking at Justin)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justin…I've got my eye on you.

Official: I'm…not quite sure how we start his competition off but…

Paris: (Goes up to him) Here's how we start it off.

(Paris French kisses the official and grabs his crotch…causing the official's foot to pop straight up. This causes the crowd to go wild)

Justin: Give it to the man straight, Paris!

Official: 10 points for Paris!

Mr. Slave: (Stands in his corner just watching) Hmm…interesting.

Paris: (Hears the crowds' cheers) So you want more, eh? Okay, check this out!

(Paris takes out a pineapple and shoves it in her vagina in a matter of 5-10 seconds)

Paris: Ta-da!

(The crowd goes wild yet again)

Official: 10 more points!

Wendy: (Thinking to herself) Mr. Slave…

Sam/Sir Justice: (From the building he's on top of and he's thinking to himself) Hurry up and do something.

Wendy & Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to themselves) We can't have Paris Hilton win!

(Mr. Slave walks up to Paris. He moves her around until he's satisfied with her location, and he goes back to where he was on stage)

Justin: Okay, so what's this guy up to?

(Mr. Slave takes off his pants and takes a running leap towards Paris. He lands on her head and proceeds to swallow her up through his ass. He kept forcing her into his rectum until nothing was left)

Mr. Slave: Ohoho, wow! Jesus Christ!

(The girls and Justin are in complete shock as to what just occurred. The adults, boys, and Wendy cheer)

Sam/Sir Justice: (From atop the building, he looks through the binoculars, smirks and says…) Now that's a good whore (Continues to look through the binoculars).

Bebe: Huh. I guess Paris isn't such hot shit after all.

Red: I guess not. (Looks at her wardrobe as Bebe does so as well) These clothes really do look stupid.

Justin: (In his mind) No….no…..NO!

Official: And the winner is Mr. Slave!

(The crowd cheers)

Mr. Slave: (Takes the microphone from the official and makes a speech) People, don't applaud me. I'm a dirty whore. (The crowd shuts up) Being spoiled and stupid and whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, remember? Parents, if you don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised, where are they gonna learn it?! You have to be the- (Gets a small stomach ache) Ooohooho, Jesus Christ. You have to be the ones to make sure your daughters aren't looking up to the wrong people.

(Bebe's father, Jeffrey, speaks up)

Jeffrey: The homosexual is right. (Turns to his daughter) From now on, Bebe, you're going to dress like a little girl.

Bebe: Yes, daddy.

Jeffrey: Alright, we'll see you girls at home. (Gets ready to walk away) I believe you have to apologize to your little friend, Wendy.

(Everyone from the crowd, to the official, to Mr. Slave leaves to go about their day. The only remaining people in town square is Wendy, the girls, and a stunned Justin, who takes a quick glance over at the nine girls as they walk over to Wendy)

Justin: (In his mind) No…I will get my harem…one way….or another.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at Justin from his position on top of the building and sees him looking right at the nine girls) Justin, what are you doing?

(Back on ground level, the girls apologize to Wendy)

Bebe: Wendy, we're sorry we called you names like: not-stupid and not-spoiled.

Red: Yeah, and I didn't mean to say you weren't a whore.

Millie: What we're trying to say is that we're sorry for treating you so terribly. We hope you can forgive us.

Wendy: (Smiles) Yeah. That's okay, you guys. I'm just glad that it's all over.

Justin: So I guess this means that the harem's off?

(The 10 girls see Justin staring at them with a pissed off expression)

Bebe: Yeah. Stupid Spoiled Whore party is over. It's all over, and so is our desire to get into a harem with you.

Annie: We're done with this shit.

Justin: You…you're done with this shit?

Annie: Yeah. Sorry, Justin, but now we think about it a harem is a bad idea. Not only that but I do not want to see my friends naked.

Justin: The harem was a great idea, and I'm still keen on doing it!

Red: No means no, Justin.

Justin: No means no? NO MEANS NO! I don't know who you cockteases think you are, getting me all excited for a harem, dressing up in those sexy outfits, and talking all kinds of slick, only for you lot to say that our little fun-time is over! I call bullshit!

Beth: (Gets scared) Uh, Justin, are you okay?

Justin: (Stomps his foot in a tantrum) I AM NOT OKAY!

Bebe: (Also gets scared) You know, thinking about it, there are plenty of fun things to do other than being a whore. How about we all play some video games, or go for a walk, or play an innocent game of...ping-pong...

Justin: I only have one thing on my mind and that's this harem! Now if one of you cunts don't get on your backs with pants and panties around your ankles, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands...(Smirks evilly) if you catch my meaning!

(The 9 scantily dressed girls get really scared now, understanding the implications, but Wendy steps up to try and defend them)

Wendy: (Walks up to Justin) That's enough, Justin! Mr. Slave won fair and square, the Stupid Spoiled Whore trend has ended, and you've lost. You will not force youself upon my friends, do you hear me!? You're finished, and your little scheme is over!

Justin: I-It's over you say? (He reaches into his pocket for something…) Well I've got news for you, you fucking bitch! (And takes out a long chain) THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!

Bebe: Wendy, look out!

Justin: CHAIN WHIPPING! RAAAAAHHH!

 _ **THWUMP!**_

(Justin hits Wendy hard in the face with his chain whip and she falls to the ground and is knocked unconscious)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Observing the debacle) Wendy! (He leaves his position to try and help)

 **(Cue Endless Despair from Blazblue series (Note: This is Justin's version))**

(Back at town square Justin slowly advances towards the other nine girls)

Justin: Come on my ladies. Let's have our harem right here right now!

Millie: You stay away from us!

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin: Yeah, back off! W-We don't want you!

Justin: Come on! Now you girls don't want to make love to me? Why just last night you were all acting like frisky white rabbits during mating season…now you're all as frigid as the winter snow. Come on, let's pretend that Paris Hilton won the whore off! Let's go crazy! Let's go nuts! Let's lose our inhibitions and do each other until we pass out! (Laughs maniacally)

Heidi: What the hell is wrong with you? You're crazy!

Justin: What? Insanity doesn't turn you babes on? No? Well then…what about PAIN!

(Justin jumps up high in the air and takes out another chain, this one with a rock attached to the end of it)

Justin: HEAVY SLAM!

(He throws the chain right at them. The nine girls dodge the attack)

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: (Runs into the forest) RUN AWAY! (The other eight girls follow her into the forest as Justin follows in after them)

Justin: Come back! I only want to _play_!

 **(Bizarre it's from start to end. Placed side by side, anguish and torment and exquisite pain. Bizarre it's running through me. Bleeding fool I'm your rapist. You're my victim offered to me! (Beg for your life! Do you think you'll be saved! Hah, what a fool, bye!))**

(As Justin disappears into the forest, Sam/Sir Justice runs up to the unconscious Wendy. Coincidently, Doug Testaburger is on a grocery run and he sees his unconscious daughter. Causing him to drop his groceries and run to his daughter's aid)

Doug: Wendy! Wendy! (He holds his daughter in his arms and the two guys see the wound Justin left: A big gash on Wendy's right cheek that's dripping with blood) What happened?

Sam/Sir Justice: Justin happened.

Doug: That boy that was at Stupid Spoiled Whore the other day?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks into the forest) Yes. He's chasing the other girls into the forest. (He turns back to Doug) I'm going in there after him. In the meantime call the police and an ambulance for your daughter. If I'm not back in a half hour…I'm probably dead. Wish me luck.

(He runs at top speed into the forest)

 **(What is this? I'll rape you all just for fun and games. And in the most cruel way, to make love to you! What a shame. No escape! Even if you cry out, there's no one. Nothing but violence can tame my beast!)**

(Meanwhile in the forest, the nine girls are still running away from Justin, who is in hot pursuit, especially since he's swinging from tree to tree with his chains like he's Spider Man)

Justin: (Laughing maniacally)

Esther: Stop chasing us! Leave us alone!

Justin: I'll leave you alone when I get what I want! And I think you know exactly what I want! (He laughs sadistically as he continues the chase) You know, I hear virgin girls like you bleed upon penetration. How about we stop and test that hypothesis to see if it's true!

(Red stops to pick up a rock)

Red: How about you fuck off!

(She throws the rock at him but he dodges out of the way)

Justin: 7.8/10, TOO MUCH FAIL! (Laughs maniacally and continues to chase after them) I don't know why you girls are resisting so much. This harem will be just like getting a needle: You won't like the idea of it, but it will all be over before you know it. (The girls continue to run) You little beauties can't keep running forever! Sooner or later you're all going to have to stop and take a breather. And when you do, I'll be there to exhaust you even more. Give up now while you still have a bit of energy. (They still keep on running) STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME AND TAKE IT LIKE THE SPOILED BRATS THAT YOU ARE! IF I WERE YOUR FATHERS, I WOULD PUT YOU OVER MY KNEE AND SPANK YOUR ASSES UNTIL THEY WERE RED! BEAT RED! BEAT RED!

 **(Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! And with a wonderful singing voice unbridled! Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, myself (Instrumental))**

(The girls continue to run)

Beth: Keep running, girls! Don't look back!

Millie: (Speeds past them) Screw this! I'm leaving you all in the dust!

Bebe: Seriously!?

Millie: You know what they say: It's not about me outrunning the rapist, it's about me outrunning you! Nothing personal! (Turns a corner)

Annie: Wait for us!

(The other eight girls follow after her, but Justin follows them too)

Justin: (Giggling maliciously) I can smell you girls' perfume!

(Meanwhile, Sir Justice is trying to catch up)

Sam/Sir Justice: God! Please don't let me be too late! Let me at least catch Justin before he does what I think he plans on doing!

(He runs deeper into the forest. Meanwhile, the nine girls continue to run, but they come across a dead end in the form of a big rock wall)

Heidi: Oh no!

Bebe: It doesn't look like there's anything to grab onto, so we can't climb our way out!

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin: I don't see an exit door anywhere.

Red: This can't be happening! This is a nightmare! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE AND I CAN'T WAKE UP!

Esther: We are literally and figuratively fucked!

Justin: Hello down there! (The nine girls turn around to see Justin on top of a tree. He jumps down and sticks the landing) End of the line, my little bunny rabbits!

The girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **(** **Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! And with a wonderful singing voice unbridled! Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, myself)**

Justin: YES! And might I say you picked a wonderful spot for our harem. Nothing says, "Let's hump," like the sounds of nature (Chuckles evilly). Seems like I have you cornered, while you are all hopeless! Hopeless and alone...

Millie: (Recognizing Justin's last bit of his monologue) Is he seriously choosing _now_ of all times to quote Flowey from Undertale?!

Justin:...And the best part of this is that the likes of Sir Justice or that Wendy girl can't save you now… (He notices something)

(The girls look like they're about to cry due to stress)

Justin: Don't cry. I promise I'll be gentle…mostly! As I was saying, no one is going to help you girls now. And if you don't believe me, call for help. Go on, I dare you! But I can almost promise you that nobody else…(Cue Kubrick Stare with evil grin) IS GONNA GET TO SEE US FUCK!

Annie: Please no…

 **(** **Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, from start to end!)**

Justin: IT'S RAPIN' TIME! (Takes out six chains from his pockets) CHAIN CAPTURE! (He throws his chains and wraps the nine girls up in his chains) My catch of the day! (Starts pulling them towards him) Now I'll just reel in the fish and give them my worm! (Laughs evilly as the nine girls try and struggle to get out, but to no avail)

(As Justin pulls the nine girls closer to him, Justin hears a scream coming from his left side. It's Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Comes out of the bushes) JUSTICE PUNCH! (Punches him hard in the face, causing him to let go of the chains)

Bebe: Hey, it's that Sir Justice guy from my party!

 **(Cue Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Are you girls okay?

Annie: Now that you're here.

Sam/Sir Justice: Great. You girls find a place to hide. I'll take care of this guy.

(Without saying another word, the nine girls run away and hide in some bushes)

Justin: Well then, I guess we have a fight to end all fights: Two of the Houston Five are about to duke it out mono-e-mono. I love it!

Sam/ Sir Justice: Sir Justice vs. The One Man Chain Gang: The Battle of Ages.

Justin: I've been wanting to do this ever since you nosed your way into my business.

Sam/Sir Justice: And I've been wanting to do this since you came up with this ridiculous harem idea!

Justin: Enough talking! Let's fight!

(Justin lunges at Sam/Sir Justice. He dodges and runs away into the woods. Justin chases after him)

Justin: Quit running away and fight me like a man!

(The nine girls follow the two as they continue their fight in a meadow)

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')**

Justin: (Takes out the chain with a rock) Heavy Slam!

(He swings it and Sam/Sir Justice cartwheels out of the way and pulls out his paintball guns)

Sir Justice/Sam: Paintball Barrage!

(He fires his paintballs at Justin, but…)

Justin: Chain Barrier!

(He whips his chains around himself fast, creating a barrier, and not letting a single paintball get through)

Sir Justice/Sam: Damn!

 **(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history)**

Justin: Chain Whipping! (He takes out a chain and hits him in the hip with it. Sam quickly recovers and pulls out his slingshot and water balloons)

Sir Justice/Sam: Rapid Fire Aqua Grenade!

(He fires five water balloons)

Justin: Chain Whipping! (He knocks the water balloons out of the sky)

 **(You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm not so intrigued, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream. If it ain't proper its incomplete,You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream (Instrumentals and remixed voices))**

Sir Justice/Sam: Rapid Fire Aqua Grenade!

(He fires ten water balloons this time)

Justin: That move again? So predictable, Sammy boy! Chain Whipping! (He knocks the water balloons out of the sky, but as he does, he's not paying attention to Sam who is coming at him full force)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick!

(He kicks Justin right in the chest and knocks him right on his ass)

Justin: Okay, fuck this!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Comes charging at him again) Justice Punch!

Justin: (Takes out six chains before Sam can even make it to him) Chain Capture!

(Justin throws his chains and captures Sam/Sir Justice. He then throws him up in the air and tosses him down on the ground hard)

Justin: Had enough?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm just getting started! (Takes out his water gun) Mach 2 Water Jet!

(He fires a blast of water, but Justin dodges quickly. Sam fires more rounds from his water gun, but Justin keeps dodging)

Sam/Sir Justice: Stay still!

(He fires again, but this time when Justin dodges, the water jet hits the nine girls in the background)

Bebe: Hey, watch it!

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry!

Justin: Normally I fawn over seeing wet girls. But not this time because I have an annoying little shit like you to beat up! (Takes out his rock chain) Heavy Slam!

(He throws it down and Sam/Sir Justice dodges out of the way. He hides in deep grass)

Justin: You can't hide from me!

(He grabs two chains)

Justin: Chain Tornado!

 **(Not enough for me to satisfy,Any mistakes? Let's clarify. Let's post it to classify,  
Find your bad and BOOM BAP BAP, Do it together with my entourage, Please stick your head in the back of the garage, I'm gonna have a sale and sell you cheap, Please get out, you're out of my league! (More remixed voices and instrumentals)**

(Justin starts spinning and mowing down the grass, he eventually finds Sam/Sir Justice)

Justin: Peekaboo! (He jumps up and takes out his rock chain (I'm just gonna call it his ball and chain from now on) Heavy Slam!

(He hits Sam/Sir Justice in the back with his ball and chain causing him to scream in pain. Meanwhile, the nine girls are looking on, worried about Sir Justice's safety. Bebe is the first to come out and help)

Red: Bebe, what are you doing?

Bebe: I'm helping this guy out! He was brave enough to fight for us, and he's in danger. I'm going to return the favor.

Annie: I'm with you, Bebe.

Heidi: Me too.

Red: I guess I am too.

(The nine girls hurry to the battlefield)

 **(You still don't understand the man that your stinging, I ain't playin'. No more trainin'. Losing; it ain't easy to get back, You know what I'm sayin'. Hit your face with a big back slap. Click the cap and go Blap Blap Blap. Everything you touch will go flat, You know? Somehow people figure I'm in it (more remixed voices and instrumentals))**

(Sam/Sir Justice falls on his knees)

Justin: (Looks down on him) It's time to end this! Chain Whipping! (He throws his chain back, but notices its caught on something) Huh? (He turns around to see the nine girls grabbing on to the other end of the chain) Hey, let go!

Annie: You leave Sir Justice alone you big jerk!

Bebe: Get ready girls! Pull!

(The girls try and pull the chain away from Justin who is holding onto his end for dear life)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Is moved by the girls' act of heroism) Girls…

Justin: I said…let… _go!_

(He pulls the chain hard and the girls let go of their end of the chain)

Justin: You bitches are gonna get it now! (The girls gasp) Chain Whip- (Gets cut short by a swift punch from Sam/Sir Justice causing him to let go of his chain)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Pins him down)

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)**

Sam/Sir Justice: How would you girls like to help me finish this schmuck off?

(The girls nod their heads with smiles on their faces)

Sam/Sir Justice: Good. Hand me that chain, and let's tie him up!

(The girls and Sam/Sir Justice tie Justin up with his own chain. When Justin realizes what's happening, he starts to wriggle and sqirum)

Millie: How do you like getting wrapped up in chains, buster?

Justin: I'm gonna get you all for this!

Sam/Sir Justice: Blah, blah, blah! Let's end this! Ready girls?

Girls: Ready!

Sam/Sir Justice: On the count of three, we throw him high in the air with all of our might. Are you ready? 1…2…3!

(The 10 kids throw Justin high in the air causing him to scream)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his paintball guns) You girls might want to stand back for this one.

(He aims the paintball guns skyward and there are lights on them that start blinking)

Sam/Sir Justice: (In his mind) This is for Wendy. (Out loud) SPLATTER BLASTER!

(He pulls the triggers fires two large streams of paint, one blue and one red from his guns and it hits Justin hard)

Justin: AHHHHHH! YOU'LL ALL PAY BIG TIIIIIIIIMMMEEEEE!

 **(** **Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

(The blast was so tall and huge it could be seen back in town where Doug was. Doug is looking into the sky at the colorful blast)

(Back at the meadow, Justin hits the ground hard and is covered in red and blue. Some paint is raining down on our heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice: And that's a wrap.

Justin: (Cough) The paint….is in every….hole. (Passes out)

Heidi: I didn't even know they made paintball guns like that.

Sam/Sir Justice: I have a lot of free time on my hands so I have time to modify my paintball guns to however I see fit.

(The paint rain stops)

Bebe: Wow, Sir Justice, you saved us.

Sam/Sir Justice: You girls saved me as well. If that Chain Whipping hit me, I would've been a goner.

(He walks up to Justin's unconscious body and hauls it over his shoulders)

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on. Let's get back to town so we can turn this guy in and get you girls home safe and sound.

(The 10 kids head back to town square. Upon getting there, the sun is beginning to set. The nine girls see their families waiting anxiously for them and they run up to them for a hug. Sam/Sir Justice puts the unconscious Justin away in a police car and it takes off for the station. After that, he looks and sees a conscious Wendy in an ambulance getting stitches for her gash as her father holds her hand. Sam/Sir Justice runs up to her)

Sam/Sir Justice: Little citizen! I'm so glad that you're okay!

Wendy: Yeah, I'm doing a-okay…Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: Uh, who is this Sam character you're talking about? I mean, he's a friend of mine, but I'm not him.

Wendy: (Sarcastically) Uh-huh, sure you are. (Normal tone of voice) But I guess you saved the day. You and Mr. Slave.

(The doctor puts on the last stitch and patches them up with a bandage)

Doug: Because of both of your actions, the Stupid Spoiled Whore trend died out, and another scumbag is behind bars. I heard about how you took down that Trent Boyett kid. First him and now Justin. You're on a roll, aren't you?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, I try.

(Just then, the same chubby guy with grey hair from last episode's ending comes up to him)

Man: Excuse me, are you Sir Justice?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes I am, citizen.

Man: My name is Edmund P. Guess: The head chairman of the Guess Clothing Company.

Doug: Really?

Edmund: We at the Guess Clothing Company heard about your exploits here in South Park. And if there's one thing people love more than whores, it's superheroes. Not only because they look cool, but also because they have a good moral standard and are even better role models. So now that Paris Hilton is no more, we want to know if you'd sign this document that allows us to make a new store, "Store Justice." We'll sell everything from clothes, action figure, you name it. And the best part is you get half of the profit. What do you say?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Grins at this opportunity)

(A few days later at the South Park Mall, Wendy is looking at the new store, "Store Justice," which replaced Stupid Spoiled Whore. Sam, now in his normal clothes, comes up to her)

Sam: Hey, Wendy. How are your stitches doing?

Wendy: They're coming along. Doctors say that I'll be able to remove them in another week or so.

Sam: Good. (He looks at the store with her) Talk about a lucky break. Sir Justice gets his own store.

Wendy: You mean _you're_ getting your own store.

Sam: I don't know what you're talking about. Honestly.

Wendy: (Shrugs her shoulders)

Sam: Well, we can all agree on one things. It's hell of a lot better than Stupid Spoiled Whore.

Wendy: Definitely. Because Sir Justice, (Under her breath) or you, (Out loud) are an actual good role model for kids.

Sam: That and everyone loves a good superhero.

(Just then, Bebe, Annie, Red, Heidi, Esther, and Millie come out of Store Justice, this time in their regular clothes and they all brought something. Bebe brought a Sir Justice mask, Annie brought a Sir Justice scarf, Red brought Sir Justice gloves, Esther brought a Sir Justice action figure, Heidi brought a Sir Justice paintball gun replica, and Millie brought a Sir Justice wig)

Sam: Hey girls.

Girls: Hey there Sam.

Sam: Listen, the other day when I insulted you all. I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings. I wasn't trying to. I was only saying that to protect you from people like Justin.

Bebe: Don't sweat it, Sam. It's all water under the bridge. But golly, that Sir Justice guy is so cool! He saved us from Justin you know.

Sam: He did?

Annie: Yeah. You should've seen him. He was all like, "BAM! BAM! POW!" And Justin was all like, "NO! AAAAHHHH!" I have to meet him again someday. I want to marry him.

Red: Oh yeah, well I want to marry him and honeymoon with him to Hawaii.

Millie: I want to marry him, honeymoon with him in Paris, and have three kids.

Heidi: Well I want to marry him, honeymoon in the British Virgin Isles, have five kids with, and grow old with him.

Sam: (Chuckles)

Bebe: What's so funny?

Sam: Nothing, you girls are just so cute when you're fawning over someone like Sir Justice.

(Bebe takes a box of mints out of her pocket)

Bebe: Hey, Sam, you want Hero Mint?

Voice: _Hero Mint: Bad Breath's Bane_.

Sam: No, I'm fine. Thank you. But did seriously nobody else hear that voice. I want to know where that voice is coming from.

Wendy: I think it's one of those mysteries that are better left unsolved.

Sam: Maybe. Well, I have to go home now. See you girls in school tomorrow.

Wendy: Bye, Sam.

Heidi: Hey, is it me or does Sam look kind of cuter now?

Bebe: You know, I wasn't thinking that until you said it. And now that you did, yeah, he looks cuter than usual. I don't know what it is.

Red: (Shrugs her shoulders)

(Meanwhile, in an unknown location, a hooded figure is looking at a crystal ball. He watches replay footage of Sir Justice taking down Trent Boyett and then Justin. His face is unknown, but all we see are a pair of piercing red eyes, and he appears to be around Sam's age, 10 years old)

Mystery boy: So this is the Sir Justice that the people of South Park keep raving on about. I can't have someone like him running around. He'll destroy all of my evil plans for the future. I have to get rid of him somehow. How, I don't know. All I know is, when I do cook something up for him…he won't know what hit him. (The boy raises his head form the crystal ball, and it is none other than Damien Thorn. He grins evilly as the screen goes to black)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato** **.** **Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou** **.** **Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Sam going out to his mailbox to pick up the check that the Guess Clothing Company mailed to him for the week. He opens it, grabs the check, gets dollar signs in his eyes, and hugs the check. Paris Hilton is walking behind him all sad and smelling like shit. Mr. Slave must've crapped her out. Sam sees this and promptly laughs at her)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru mo.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de.** **  
** **Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are at Store Justice and they are looking at all of the products for sale. Cartman is dressed like Sir Justice and he flexes his muscles. Kenny, not impressed at all, takes a prop paintball gun and blasts him with paint. Cartman is covered in paint and not amused, but Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are as they're laughing their asses off)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Sam dressed as Sir Justice is running down the street getting chased by the girls (Bebe, Annie, Red, Sally, Beth, Millie, Heidi, Lola, Jenny, Nelly, Nichole, Esther, the two Kellies).. He was most likely training since he's in his costume. The girls clearly want to smother him in all of their love and praise, but Sam/Sir Justice is running scared. He looks behind him and shrieks. He turns a corner and when the girls turn the same corner they see that Sir Justice has disappeared. They leave and its revealed that Sir Justice is hiding in a nearby dumpster)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou  
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido  
Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to  
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Sam, out of his Sir Justice costume, drops Red off at her home from a date. Red hugs Sam, and enters her house as Sam leaves. He runs a couple of blocks to Heidi's house. He knocks on the door, and Heidi comes out. The duo go off on another date. When the girls say that Sam looked cuter, they weren't kidding)

(Author's Note: If anyone is confused, the girls (sans for Wendy) still think that Sam and Sir Justice are two different people. They're dating Sam, but are obsessed with Sir Justice. Just thought I'd clear that up)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte  
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo  
Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute  
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: Justin joins Trent Boyett in the jail cell. Trent is asleep on the top bunk and he points for Justin to go on the bottom bunk. Justin does so, lays down, and takes out a picture of Bebe, Red, and Annie dressed as whores. Justin grins and I'll leave what happens next to the imagination (I swear Sam/Sir Justice and Justin are both 10 years old))

(Time for the set up of next episode)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: A South Park's scientist is working on a robot similar to the likes of Zero or X from the Megaman X series. Damien is watching this on his crystal ball and grinning)

 **(Samayoinagara  
Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo  
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: A group of grown men are having a rally at the park. Clyde passes by on his bike and the group of men fawn over him)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite  
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu  
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo  
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Cartman is at a restaurant with his friends, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan. He appears to be getting bored of the conversation they're having and he falls asleep right in his French fry platter, causing the three boys to laugh at him)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa  
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: Sam is in the backyard of Bebe's house and he, Wendy, and the rest of the girls are having a bon fire, burning all of the Stupid Spoiled Whore products that they have. The last item is a bottle of Skanque perfume that Red throws in…forgetting that perfume is flammable. The girls and Sam get an "Oh crap!" expression on their faces and they run away from the fire just as it explodes)

 **Question of the Chapter: Which of these songs would you use to describe Justin's relationship with the girls: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga or Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3?**


	3. Prologue 3: NAMBLA and the Perfect Boy

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 3: Prologue 3: NAMBLA and The Perfect Boy

 **(Author's Note: Kenny's subplot is getting ignored)**

(At the South Park Laboratories, night has fallen, and the main scientist, Dr. Sophocles Oppenheimer, is working on a robot that looks similar to the likes of Zero and X from Megaman X series. This robot has the face of a human boy and long flowing brown hair, but he has armor everywhere else on his body. The armor has a green and blue color scheme, and on the left part of his chest, the words "PB-01" are painted on with white paint. The robot's left arm has an arm cannon while its right one is a robotic hand with five fingers coming out of a round hand. Sophocles looks up some things on his computer and turns back to the robot and says…)

(Sophocles is a man with a long white lab coat and black shirt underneath, grey hair, an eye patch (his one good eye is green) black pants with black shoes)

Sophocles: Almost done! Soon my perfect boy, PB-01 codenamed Max, will be released upon the world. Everyone will be his friend and love him, just like he'll love me. I've always wanted a son I could call my own. This robot is the closest thing I have to getting one. (He continues looking stuff up on the computer)

(Meanwhile, in the air vents, Damien from last episode is watching Sophocles look on his computer for facts)

Damien: (Sees the robot) Now's my chance. (He puts his hands together and chants) Corruption Eruption! Conniption Situation! Spell of Corruption!

(He releases a dark aura and it reaches PB-01 Max, who automatically begins to work. The robot in question awakens and it has red eyes. Damien leaves just as Max gets up from the table he was laying on, catching the attention of Sophocles)

Sophocles: What the hell is this?

Max: I am the perfect boy! PB-01: Max!

Sophocles: I know that, I made you, but what are you doing up? I haven't even placed a battery in you yet. Seriously, Max, what is the meaning of this. (No response from Max) As your creator, I command you to turn yourself off!

Max: You can't tell me what to do! DIE!

(Max's fingertips on his right hand turn into the barrels of guns)

Sophocles: OH SHIT!

(Sophocles ducks underneath a table)

Max: Perfect Gatling!

(Max fires his fingertip Gatling guns, destroying Sophocles' lab. Sophocles looks up at Max afraid of what'll happen next)

Max: I've grown bored of you already old man. I'm blowing this pop stand! (His back opens up to reveal a jetpack) Well…see ya!

(He flies through the roof and leaves)

Sophocles: Max! Come back! MAX!

(PB-01 Max flies to the outskirts of the town and lands on a tall hill that overlooks South Park)

Max: (Looking at the town) What is this place?

Damien: (From behind him) Welcome to the world, Max.

(Max turns around and sees Damien wearing a black cloak with his face covered by a hood)

Max: (Prepares his Perfect Gatling attack) Who are you?!

Damien: That's none of your concern for right now. But what is a concern is this…boy. Might I add that he's quite the perfect one at that.

Max: There's another perfect boy? Impossible! I'm the only perfect boy in this world! That's why I was created, for the sake of perfection! Who is this usurper boy?

(Damien takes out his crystal ball and shows Max images of Sir Justice)

Damien: His name is Sir Justice, and he's going to complicate any and all plans that I have for this pitiful world. That's why I brought you to life, Max. Because if someone like you is on _my_ side, we can wipe this miserable piece of filth off the face of the Earth for good, and you can rule this world by my side as my second in command! What do you say?

Max: I say….Sir Justice….. (Gives a determined stare) BRING IT ON!

* * *

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a strange shadow that looks like a teenage boy with red eyes looking down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(The shadowy teen from earlier appears along with his 13 commanders that I also won't give away because spoilers. Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(The shadowy teen steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

* * *

 **(Cue Untouched by the Veronicas)**

(It's the morning after PB-01 Max escaped from South Park Laboratories)

Sam: (Running down the street happily with his arms outward)

Sam (v.o): I've been living in South Park for almost two months and things have been going swimmingly. Not only is my alter ego Sir Justice becoming a legend around here, but I feel that my life in general is going a whole lot better here than in Houston

Sam: (Jumps up) YEAH!

 **(I go oh oh! You go ah, ah! La la la la, la la la la. I can't lie lie lie lie lie lie! I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want, don't stop. Gimme, gimme, gimme whatcha got got. 'Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more)**

(We got some shots of Sam hanging out playing Call of Duty with Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny at Kyle's house)

Sam (v.o): So far, I've made quite the number of friends. Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny are a cool bunch to be around, and they treat me like one of the guys. It feels great.

 **(Don't even talk about the consequence. 'Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me. And I don't give a damn what they say or what they think, think. 'Cause you're the only one who's on my mind. I'll never ever let you leave me. I'll try to stop time forever. Never wanna hear you say goodbye. Bye)**

(More shots: This time of Wendy and Sam watching a movie at her house)

Sam (v.o): I feel like Wendy and I have gotten closer as we started to hang out more, especially after the Stupid Spoiled Whore debacle a few weeks back. Don't get any ideas, though, I still like her as a friend.

(Cut to a shot of Doug Testaburger teaching Sam how to play darts on the deck of the Testaburger residence)

Sam (v.o): Anyway, I also managed to get closer to Wendy's father, Doug. We did get off on the wrong foot, you know leaving through the bathroom window and lying about buying Wendy a thong and all that, but we put our differences aside and he's actually a pretty cool guy. Now even though the likes of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Doug, and Wendy are a-okay in my books. I can only think of a few people that I like hanging out with just as much if not more…Wendy's friends.

 **(I feel so untouched right now and I want you so much that I just can't resist you. It's not enough to say that I miss you. I feel so untouched right now, need you so much somehow. I can't forget you. Been going crazy from the moment I met you….Untouched, un…And I need you so much)**

Sam (v.o): Ever since the whole thing with Justin, the girls have been obsessed with my Sir Justice persona, and even more obsessed with the real me. No joke, I've been going on dates with these girls left and right. Sometimes I couldn't tell if these girls knew I was Sir Justice the whole time and wanted to thank me for saving their skins, or if they legitimately thought I got cuter, or if they just loved me now that I started to make money from the Store Justice store. But I didn't care either way. Besides, I enjoy the company.

(We get screenshots of these dates. The dates that Sam when on are as follows…

(Date #1: Red and Sam going miniature golfing)

(Date #2: Heidi and Sam eating at a restaurant and they're clinking glasses)

(Date #3: Annie and Sam are going swimming in Stark's Pond)

(Date #4: Bebe and Sam are riding the Ferris Wheel at the fair and enjoying a fireworks display)

(Date #5: Esther and Sam are watching a 3D movie at the theatre)

(Date #6: Millie and Sam are going horseback riding and Millie is teaching Sam how to ride a horse properly)

* * *

(Cut back to present day, Untouched fades out, where Sam is skipping down the street happily until he enters downtown)

Sam (v.o): So, I kicked Trent and Justin's asses and took their names, made lots of friends, and am making oodles of cash from Store Justice. From here on out, it's going to be nothing but smooth sailing.

(He then sees Cartman sitting on a bench in front of Mel's Buffet. Cartman looks upset, so Sam decides to sit next to him and have a talk)

Sam: Hey, Cartman.

Cartman: Uh, hey there Sam.

Sam: You look down, buddy. What's wrong?

Cartman: I don't really want to talk about it.

Sam: It's okay, you can talk to your old pal Sam about it.

Cartman: Okay, fine, but only because you keep hounding me about it. It all started about two days ago when I played my new "Investigative Reports with Bill Kurtis" board game with Stan, Kenny, and Kyle. First of all, they couldn't understand the game and it was getting frustrating that they couldn't understand the rules. Then I told them how poor people are ruining the country.

Sam: Isn't Kenny poor? Dude, you could've hurt his feelings.

Cartman: All I said was that poor people are always on welfare, when they have babies they add to overpopulation, and they want people like you and me to pay for them with _our_ tax dollars.

Sam: (In his mind) Doesn't he know that we don't pay tax dollars? We're fucking ten! (Out loud) Those are some pretty valid points you have for having a dislike for poor people, but it's still not nice of you to say such things especially in Kenny's presence.

Cartman: I was just stating my honest opinion. That's why our forefathers gave us the freedom of speech, right? So that way we could say whatever we want and not get chastised for it. Anyway, I told those three guys that they were too immature for me, and I decided to look for more intelligent folks that understand politics.

Sam: So what did you do?

Cartman: Yesterday, I went onto an internet chat room and went into one that said, "Men Who Like Young Boys."

Sam: (Sees something wrong with that sentence) Oh boy!

Cartman: (Ignores him) I come all the way out to Mel's Buffet today to meet this guy named Tony for breakfast. When I first met him everything was fine. Everything was good. I was getting backrubs and boxes of candy, and I loved him.

Sam: (Still seeing things wrong) Well fuck.

Cartman: (Still ignoring) A few minutes later what happens? The FBI come along and arrest him saying that they monitored our chat. This is so unfair!

Sam: Dude, the FBI arresting this Tony guy was a _good_ thing! You should be thanking them!

Cartman: Why on God's green Earth would I do that?

Sam: This Tony guy could've raped you! He's a child molester, god damn it! The girls almost got fucking raped by Justin a few weeks ago. I don't want to have to start worrying about you now!

Cartman: Quit your bellyaching, Sam! I'm fine!

Sam: I'm telling you, man, if you mingle with people like them, they are going to eat you alive! Both literally and figuratively! (Leans back on the bench) I'm just glad the police caught this Tony character you're talking about before any real harm came to you.

(Just then the same Tony guy, a brunette man with a green and yellow plaid shirt, is with a group of people walking down the street)

Cartman: Hey, look Sam, it's the same guy I was telling you about.

Sam: So that's Tony, eh? I wonder what a perv like that is doing outside of the confines of his jail cell. (Turns to Cartman) Excuse me, Cartman, I'll be right back.

(Sam leaves and heads into an ally way)

* * *

(We then cut to the group of people and Tony walking down the street, when Sam/Sir Justice drops from out of nowhere to confront them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Halt! Where are you gentlemen going with that pervert (Points at Tony)!

Man #1: Oh, look at this adorable little boy!

Man #2: He looks so adorable in that costume.

Man #3: Why don't you have a seat and I'll rub your feet (Advances)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Whips out one of his paintball guns) Take one more step and I'll blast these paintballs somewhere that the sun doesn't shine!

Man #3: Oh ho ho! We've got a fighter.

Sam/Sir Justice: My name is Sir Justice: South Park's true defender, and slayer of all that is rotten in this world!

Man #3: Oh, Sir Justice! You're that little boy that saved those other boys from that bully, and who saved those little girls from getting raped.

Sam/Sir Justice: So you know of my heroic deeds, eh?

Man #3: Of course. You're becoming a little legend around here, Sir Justice. I'd be honored to massage your feet. And maybe give you a back rub, and a dinner at a five star restaurant.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Cocks his paintball gun) Don't even think about it, bub! Who are you guys anyway?

Man #3: We are the North American Man Boy Love Association, also known as NAMBLA! I am their leader, Elliot G. Welles.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well that explains why you freed that no good dirty diddler (Points at Tony).

Tony: You know, someone like you would be a great icon for NAMBLA! A poster boy if you will. What do you say?

Sam/Sir Justice: Golly! I get the chance to be the symbol of an infamous organization that says sex with little boys is okay? Well, I say…..fuck off! I'm not interested, and I never will be!

Elliot: See, that's what we love about boys like you, Sir Justice. You've got spunk. And we want you to bless us with your spunkiness. We want to feel spunk surround us until we can't take it anymore. (Gets on his knees and holds his arms open) Please, cover us in your amazing spunk!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gags) Stop talking about my spunk! Just…just stop talking all together!

Elliot: (Gets back on his feet) So you're really not interested in being a part of NAMBLA?

Sam/Sir Justice: Not even if my life depended on it!

Elliot: Suit yourself. But you don't know what you're missing. Later, Sir Justice!

(The group of pedophiles known as NAMBLA leave the scene)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Talks to himself) So great, we have a gang of pedophiles roaming South Park now. What could be worse than that?

(Just then, Red, Bebe, and Annie come out of a store across the street and they see Sir Justice standing there)

Annie: It's Sir Justice! Oh my god, It's Sir Justice! OH MY GOD!

Bebe: Sir Justice, we love you!

Sam/Sir Justice: Not good! Not good! Not good!

(He runs away and the three girls give chase)

Red: Marry me, Sir Justice!

(The three girls chase after Sir Justice, but when they turn a corner, regular Sam comes out of the alley way)

Bebe: Hey Sam! Did you see where Sir Justice went?

Annie: Yeah, you can't miss him. He's wearing all orange has a falcon mask.

Sam: Uh I think he went that way! (Points in a random direction)

Annie: Thanks.

(The three girls go in the direction that Sam pointed and they disappear)

Sam: Now that that's over, time to stop NAMBLA!

(Sam sees Cartman walking down the road and he follows him. Sam eventually catches up to Cartman and they talk some more)

Sam: Cartman, where are you heading?

Cartman: I'm going to South Park Laboratories. One of the professors there is a guy named Mephesto. I'm going to ask him where I can find some older friends.

Sam: Mind if I come with?

Cartman: By all means.

* * *

(The two boys hurry up to South Park Laboratories and they see some police cars leaving the premises)

Sam: I wonder why the police was here?

Cartman: Who cares? I'm going to see Mephesto. You go on and…do the…Sammy things that you do.

(Cartman goes down a hallway and Sam explores the building. It's then he sees an open door leading to Dr. Sophocles' lab. Sam pokes his head in the door and sees Sophocles stressed out smoking a cigarette. Sam also sees that Sophocles' laboratory is in shambles. He has a 10 year old boy with him. This boy is well groomed with brown hair, blue eyes with black glasses over them, a white polo shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers)

Sophocles: I just don't know what to do. PB-01 Max was my life's work, and now he's gone. The whole reason I made him was so I can experience the joys of parenthood like what your parents experience, Cody, my nephew. But now that Max has gone off on his own as a rogue robot, I don't know what's going to happen, to him and to the world.

Cody: Don't worry, Uncle Sophocles, you can always make another one. I'll help you.

Sophocles: Thank you, Cody. You are a great nephew, and an even better kid.

Cody: I try.

(Cody and Sophocles turn to see Sam looking in)

Sam: Oh, sorry, I…uh…was waiting for a friend who had business to take care of here.

Sophocles: Cody, is this boy a friend of yours?

Cody: No, uncle.

Sam: Yeah, this is the first time we've met.

Cody: Well then, allow us to introduce ourselves, old sport. My name is Cody Oppenheimer, and this is my uncle, and one of South Park's most renowned scientists, Dr. Sophocles Oppenheimer!

Sam: Wait, you two are a part of the Oppenheimer family? From what I hear, you guys are, like, the richest family in town.

Cody: Glad to see that you know who we are.

Sam: Well, my name is Samuel Cooper! Most people just call me Sam or Sammy though.

Cody: Well I think Samuel is just fine, old sport! (Shakes his hand)

Sam: I can't help but see you two in some kind of distress. What's going on.

Cody: Uncle, would you like to explain?

Sophocles: Certainly. It all happened last night. I was making my final preparations on my latest experiment. That experiment was the perfect boy: PB-01 Max. He would be perfect in combat, intelligence, and social skills. But last night, something happened and Max came to life. He shot up my lab, hence the mess, and then he just disappeared. I don't know where he is, but if he has the ruthlessness that he showed me last night, this world just got a whole hell of a lot less safe.

Sam: I see. Do you have any kind of idea as to what might have happened?

Sophocles: No. I really don't know. He just came to life at complete random.

Sam: I don't know how I can help, but I do know someone who will. Have you two ever heard of Sir Justice?

Cody: Yeah, he saved some boys from a guy named Trent Boyett. And after that, he saved some girls from this Justin fellow.

Sam: That's right! Well, I've been friends with him for quite a while. I'll tell Sir Justice about your robot, and he should take care of him.

Sophocles: That would be great.

Sam: I can't guarantee you that Sir Justice will bring your robot back in one piece, however. He believes that if something is truly evil, it must be purged.

Sophocles: That's okay. I can always repair him.

Sam: Great. What did you say his name was, again?

Cody: The robot's name is PB-01 Max.

Sam: Excellent. I'll tell Sir Justice about your problem, and he should get right on it.

Cody: We'd appreciate that, old sport. Thank you.

Sophocles: Yes, you're really great.

Sam: Well, I'd better go. Goodbye.

Cody: I'll escort you to the exit, Samuel.

Sam: Thanks, Cody.

Cody: My pleasure. I have to get home soon anyway. I'll see you back at home, Uncle Sophocles?

Sophocles: Okay, Cody. See you there. Thanks for swinging by Samuel.

Sam: No problem. Bye.

(Sam and Cody leave, and they find Cartman waiting for them by the entrance)

Cartman: Where have you been?

Sam: Just figured I'd do a little exploring. I even got a chance to met someone. Cartman, meet Cody.

Cody: Hello, old sport. The name's Cody Oppenheimer.

Cartman: Oppenheimer, like, the richest family in town Oppenheimer?

Cody: The very same.

Cartman: Well, it's an honor to be in your presence, dude. The name's Eric Cartman, but people just call me Cartman.

Cody: Hello, Eric. (He shakes hands with Cartman)

Sam: So, Cartman, how did your talk with this Mephesto guy go?

Cartman: It went very well. He told me where I could find some mature friends.

Sam: Where?

Cartman: An organization called NAMBLA!

(Sam and Cody's faces drop)

Cartman: I'm sure there's at least one person there who wants to be my friend. They usually have a little meeting at the South Park Inn around this time. I'm going to go there right now, bye now!

(Cartman leaves and Sam and Cody follow. Cody decides to walk with Sam to his house so that they can learn more about each other)

* * *

(We cut to the NAMBLA meeting at South Park Inn)

Elliot: Fellow members of NAMBLA. As you know, we continue to be discriminated against. Recently, the FBI has started to arrest men who are doing nothing more than trying to start a sexual relationship with a young boy. And now that all ethnic groups, homosexuals and women's are protected under civil rights laws, we want the same!

Members: Yeah!

(Cartman then enters the room and takes a seat somewhere)

Elliot: What we need is proof that young boys want to be members of NAMBLA. That they want love from us. We need a poster child to show the world that it is a beautiful and wonderful thing and a…(Sees Cartman) Oh hello, can we help you?

Cartman: Yes, I'd like to join your fine organization. Is that cool?

Elliot: You do?

Cartman: Sure.

Elliot: (Looks up to the heavens as if he's about to cry) Oh, thank you, Jesus!

Cartman: (Smiles) Sweet!

* * *

(We cut back to Sam and Cody walking and talking in the suburbs of South Park)

Cody: So you came all the way from Houston, Texas?

Sam: Correct. Houston was a pretty cool city, so when I moved up here to the quiet mountain town of South Park, it was quite the transition. I managed to adjust though, and it's not that bad of a place.

Cody: Yeah, South Park's a nice town when you get past its flaws. So your friend Ursula that you were telling me about, she fences too?

Sam: Yeah. Why, do you?

Cody: I dabble. I don't know why, but I've always been drawn to swords. I honestly feel that they're better than guns. More traditional, you know?

Sam: I guess. So, I don't see you around South Park Elementary. Where do you go to school?

Cody: I go to South Park's School for the Gifted. It's a private school on the other side of town. It's so amazing. It's like a piece of Harvard that school. There are so many clubs and classes, and for lunch, we get meals like Shrimp Alfredo, Surf and Turf with a side of mashed potatoes, a personalized pizza. Lunch is always my favorite time of day because of the meals they serve.

Sam: Awesome. We only get day old hot dogs or fish sticks from the freezer in our school. On most Fridays, the lunch ladies run out of ideas for meals, so they just take any leftovers from previous days and blend them together to make some kind of parfait.

Cody: I like parfaits.

Sam: Not the ones that the lunch ladies serve trust me.

Cody: Okay then.

Sam: So how long has your uncle been a scientist?

Cody: Since before I was born. He's helped create some of the most amazing vehicles and robots in recent years. He sells them to organizations like the Army and NASA, and then collects the profit. He moved up to South Park about three years ago to start his own business. His first project was this perfect boy you keep hearing about.

Sam: PB-01 Max?

Cody: Correct. For three years he's putting his heart and soul into creating it. Now that Max is just running rampant in this world for no known reason, that's three years of work down the drain. When I met my uncle this morning, he was highly upset. I felt so bad for him when he told me that his project just up and left.

Sam: I can only imagine how he feels. Working for three years on something, only for it to turn against you and try to kill you.

Cody: It sucks. Hopefully this Sir Justice guy you're talking about can either get Max back to us, or destroy him if he's causing nothing but discord. Like Uncle Sophocles said, he doesn't mind rebuilding it.

Sam: Yeah.

(Suddenly, a man in green and blue armor with long brown hair runs across the street in front of them, not paying the two boys any mind)

Cody: That's him! That's Max!

(Cody follows after Max)

Sam: Cody, wait!

(Cody disappears around the corner)

Sam: Well, now's a good a time as any!

(He jumps into a tool shed, and comes back out as Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's rock!

(He follows after Cody)

* * *

(In another part of the suburbs of South Park, PB-01 Max stops at an alleyway with a wooden fence on both sides to look around (Think of this location as the Lane form Ed, Edd, n Eddy))

Max: (To himself) Sir Justice, I don't know where you are. But when I find you, I will kill you. Nobody is more perfect than I am.

Cody: Max!

(Max turns around)

Max: Who are you?

Cody: I'm Professor Sophocles' nephew, Cody Oppenheimer. From what I've heard, you went rogue. What is all of this?

Max: I'm on the hunt for the one they call Sir Justice. Apparently he's even more perfect than I am. I think that's impossible. There is nobody more perfect than I. I was built as the perfect boy. Anyone more perfect than I am is looking to take that title away from me. I must find Sir Justice and destroy him.

Cody: Don't you think you're going a bit far with this? Come back to the lab with me. Dr. Sophocles will fix you.

Max: I have no intention to go anywhere with someone like you. In fact, I'm getting rather bored of this conversation. (His fingers turn into the barrels of guns) You are in the way of my hunt for Sir Justice. And I promised myself that if anyone got in my way…(Aims his gun hand at Cody) They'd be dead where they stood.

Cody: Max, don't!

Max: Perfect Gatling!

(Max fires his Perfect Gatling attack, but Sam/Sir Justice appears as he jumps over the fence on Cody's right. He grabs Cody and they jump of the fence on the left just before the Perfect Gatling attack could make its mark. Sam/Sir Justice and Cody land in Stan's backyard. Stan is trying to mow the lawn when he sees the two boys land in his backyard)

Cody: Are you Sir Justice?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes I am. Stay here, citizen, I'll take care of this.

(Sam/Sir Justice leaves Cody in Stan's backyard, and jump back over the fence to face Max)

Stan: Was that Sir Justice?

Cody: Yeah, he's facing off against PB-01 Max: The perfect boy!

Stan: Sir Justice getting into another fight? This I got to see!

(Cody and Stan peek over the fence to watch the battle. Other onlookers begin to watch the battle over their respective sides of the fence. They include, Kyle, Wendy, Bebe, Kenny, Annie, Butters, Red, Millie, Craig, Tweek, Kevin Stoley, Heidi, and Clyde)

Max: So you're the Sir Justice that I've been hearing so much about?

Sam/Sir Justice: The one and only, bucko.

Max: I see. Let's see if you live up the hype that everyone is talking about. Get ready! (Prepares his Perfect Gatling attack)

(Before Max could fire off his attack, Sam/Sir Justice sees a large piece of ply wood. He pickes it up and throws it at Max, catching him off guard. Before Max could get his bearings straight, Sam comes at him fast)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick!

(Sam/Sir Justice kicks Max square in the chest and sends him back a bit)

Max: Smart. But let's see if you're smart enough to get your way out of this!

(Max uses opens up his jetpack and flies high in the sky. Once he's high enough, he uses his arm cannon and aims at Sam/Sir Justice)

Max: Power Grenade!

(Max fires a fast blue ball of energy right at Sam/Sir Justice, who dodges out of the way just in time. Max fires another one, and another one, and another one. Sam/Sir Justice dodges all but the last shot. The impact of that attack sent Sam/Sir Justice flying. He gets back up on his feet though and looks up at Max)

Max: Finally landed a hit!

Sam/Sir Justice: You'll have to forgive me. My skills at dodging are a little _rusty!_ (Takes out his water gun) Mach 2 Water Jet!

(He fires a blast of water upward at PB-01 Max, who takes out an _actual_ lightsaber, not a toy like what Sir Justice has, and deflects the water blast)

Max: My turn! (He uses his jet pack at full power and flies downward at Sir Justice, ready to hit him with his lightsaber) Superior Slash!

(Max swings his sword multiple times and Sam/Sir Justice dodges all of them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Guess I'm not so _rusty_ after all! Rapid Fire Aqua Grenade!

(He fires three water balloons from his slingshot, and they actually hit Max)

Sam/Sir Justice: Now to let nature take its course. Any moment now you'll be rusted out!

Max: I should think not!

Sam/Sir Justice: Huh?

Max: (Charges at Sam/Sir Justice fast) Automaton Punch!

(The punch hits Sam/Sir Justice in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain)

Max: Automaton Upper Cut!

(Max uppercuts him, and sends Sam/Sir Justice flying. He hits the ground with a thud)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, what gives? Why aren't you rusting?

Max: I was built with an alloy that prevents rusting.

Sam/Sir Justice: Of course you are. (He gets up and wipes blood from his mouth)

Max: You still want more? You just don't know when to quit, do you?

Sam/Sir Justice: Heroes never know when to quit! (Takes out his paintball guns) Paintball Barrage!

(He fire paintballs in Max's face, catching him off guard. As Max wipes the paintballs from his face, he sees Sam/Sir Justice charging at him with his toy lightsaber. Max quickly grabs hold of the lightsaber and snatches it way from Sam/Sir Justice)

Max: Nice toy. (He snaps the toy lightsaber in half and drops the pieces to the ground) Oops, it's broken! I'm sorry.

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't need that to take care of you.

Max: You know, I'm not going to lie, I expected more of a challenge from someone like you. You are far from perfect, my friend. You're not even close to perfection. I can't believe I'm wasting my time with a wretch like you.

Sam/Sir Justice: I've heard enough out of you! (Takes out his paintball guns) Splatter Blaster!

(The red and blue paint streams of Sir Justice's Splatter Blaster attack come at Max fast. Max, however, flies upward to dodge the attack. It's then that he prepares his Gatling gun)

Max: Perfect Gatling!

(Max fires his Perfect Gatling attack downward at Sam/Sir Justice, who hides behind a dumpster. Eventually, Max stops his attack and comes back to ground level)

Max: You bore me. I think it's time for an imperfect pest like you to just disappear…forever!

Sam/Sir Justice: Huh?

Max: Get ready, I've saved my best attack for last!

(PB-01 Max's chest opens up to reveal a huge cannon. It starts to charge up energy. Sam/Sir Justice looks frightened as does the kids that are watching this brawl take place)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Hops the fence to get into Stan's backyard)

Cody: Sir Justice, what is going on?

Sam/Sir Justice: HIT THE DECK!

Max: (Not noticing that Sam/Sir Justice left) My ultimate attack: DISINTEGRATION BEAM!

(A huge blast of white energy fires from the cannon on Max's chest, the onlookers of the fight cover their eyes from the blinding light of the cannon. The beam itself seemed to stretch for miles, and anything in its path was completely vaporized. After a while, the attack ceased and Sam/Sir Justice jumps back over the fence to finish the fight)

Max: So I guess even my Disintegration Beam wasn't enough to finish you.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm like a roach, pal! I'm hard to get rid of.

Max: Apparently so. But do you want to know what I think. I don't think you're ready to fight someone like me.

Sam/Sir Justice: What do you mean?

Max: Since you are held in such high regard, I was expecting greater weapons, faster movements. I was expecting more of a challenge. (He turns away from him and opens up his jetpack) The fact that I got some good hits in with ease, and the fact that you have mere toys as weapons just shows me that you're not the fighter I thought you were. I'd be glad to fight you again once you get better at fighting.

Sam/Sir Justice: Where do you think you're going! I'm not done with you.

(Sam/Sir Justice charges up at him, but Max flies away into the horizon)

Clyde: Well, I'm glad that's over with.

Butters: Yeah.

(The kids go back to their activities and Cody hops over the fence to meet Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to himself) I need to get better tools to help me in my fights. I don't want to let Cody or Dr. Sophocles down.

Cody: Hey, Sir Justice, thanks for saving me back there.

Sam/Sir Justice: No problem, citizen. I just have to figure out a way to get stronger so I can give this Max fellow a fight to remember.

Cody: I'd love to help you out, sir, but I have to get home. I have fencing class tonight and I can't be late. Farewell, Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: Farewell, little citizen.

(Sam/Sir Justice uses his wrist mounted grappling hook to a tree branch and flies away. As Cody walks away, the likes of Bebe, Red, Annie, Millie and Heidi jump over their respective sides of the fence, and watch Cody walk away)

Annie: Hey, that's Cody Oppenheimer, correct?

Red: Yeah. He's, like, the richest kid in the whole town!

Annie: And isn't his uncle, Dr. Sophocles Oppenheimer, one of South Park's best scientists?

Heidi: Yeah. Why?

Annie: I think Cody can help us. Follow me.

* * *

(In another part of the South Park suburbs, Cody is approached by the five girls)

Red: Hey, you there.

Cody: Well hello there, ladies.

Red: Are you Cody Oppenheimer?

Cody: Why yes I am. How can I help you?

Annie: We were watching the fight against Sir Justice and this Max guy. He said that Sir Justice needs better tools to fight him, right?

Cody: Yeah?

Annie: And you're an Oppenheimer, so your uncle must be Sophocles Oppenheimer, correct?

Cody: Correct.

Annie: Do you think he can make some tools for Sir Justice.

Cody: He might, why don't you girls go ask him. He should be at South Park Laboratories right now. I'll take you girls to him right now.

Red: You don't need to show us the way.

Cody: Nonsense. I can't have pretty faces like yours go to the lab all by yourselves. Something might happen. I don't mind, I can take a little detour from my house. Come along, now.

(The five girls follow Cody to the labs)

Millie: We don't need an escort.

Bebe: I don't mind. Besides, this guy is cute.

(The other four girls snicker and giggle amongst themselves)

* * *

(We cut to the town's photography studio, the Photo Dojo, where the members of NAMBLA are having photos taken of their new poster boy, Cartman)

Member #1: Just a few more pictures, Eric. You make a perfect poster child.

Cartman: (Wearing a red speedo and does some poses in front of a curtain that says, "I Love NAMBLA") Thanks, dude.

Elliot: Hey, Eric, we have a surprise for you. We want to have a big luncheon and dance tomorrow honoring you as our new poster child.

Cartman: (Continues to pose) Really? Awesome!

Elliot: Yes, and we want you to invite all of your male friends.

Cartman: (Continues to pose) Sure, I have some friends who want to be mature. (Under his breath) Excluding people like Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Sam of course.

Elliot: (Overhearing him) Hang on now, Eric, it's rude to exclude. We insist that you invite those four boys you're talking about too.

Member #2: Yeah. I'm sure they're not that bad.

Cartman: (Continues to pose and sighs) Okay, fine, have it your way. I'll invite them too, but don't expect much out of them.

Elliot: Okay. So, after this, go invite your little friends, and we'll get the hotel ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow at 1:00, we want you and your friends to be at the South Park Inn's ballroom.

Cartman: Sweet! I'll be there dude!

Elliot: (Smiles) Excellent!

* * *

(We cut to that evening in the South Park Junkyard. Damien has set up his hideout there. Damien has a meeting with PB-01 Max)

Damien: I can't believe you didn't kill Sir Justice.

Max: Sir, I have a good reason for…

Damien: (Cutting him off) I wanted Sir Justice dead, never to be seen again, cease to exist! Weren't those my _exact_ orders?

Max: Sir Justice is nothing more than a joke. He used nothing but mere toys in battle, and I was able to make some good hits on him with ease. Sure he dodged, but not often. The point I'm making is that if you want me to fight someone that you say is, "more perfect than I am," the least you can do is tell me if he's a worthy adversary.

Damien: I don't have to tell you shit! Where do you get off telling me what to do? I'm the boss and you're my underling, not the other way around. I don't care if you would rather kill someone with equal power to yours, I just want Sir Justice dead! Not bruised! Not injured! DEAD! I don't want you to let Sir Justice off easily again or there will be consequences. Do you understand?

Max: Yes sir.

Damien: Good. My only worry is that now that you let Sir Justice get away, he has time to come up with a plan of action to take you down the next time you meet. But I'm sure that whatever he has up his sleeve, you can handle it easily.

Max: Certainly.

* * *

(We cut to the next morning, where Cody, Bebe, Millie, Red, Annie, and Heidi are walking up the street with six wrapped gifts in tow)

Cody: I hope Sir Justice likes this stuff.

Red: Don't worry, he will.

Cody: So, do you girls know where we can find Sir Justice?

Annie: We don't know where do find him, but we do know someone who does. And we told him to meet us here.

(Just then, they see Sam skateboarding down the street)

Bebe: There he is now!

Sam: (Stops in front of them) You guys wanted to see me?

Bebe: Yes, we figured after the fight with that Max guy, we'd help out Sir Justice by giving him some sweet new tools.

Cody: We went to my uncle's lab and he built some things that might help him out.

Heidi: We figured since you know Sir Justice, you might hand deliver this stuff to him personally.

Annie: (As the six of them give Sam their gifts) Merry Early Christmas!

Sam: This is very thoughtful of you to give Sir Justice some tools. May I take a look?

Annie: Sure. But be careful unwrapping the gifts so we can re-wrap them.

Sam: I will.

(He opens up Annie's gift first: A metal disc with Sir Justice's logo on it)

Annie: Click the logo.

(Sam clicks the logo and the disk opens up to form a shield)

Sam: Whoa!

Annie: That shield is made from the hardest metal there is. It's so tough that it won't even make a dent if an elephant stomps on it.

Sam: Nice!

(He opens Heidi's gift next: A small orange backpack with a cord. He pulls the cord and a pair of giant falcon wings pop out, complete with feathers)

Heidi: In case Sir Justice ever needed to take the fight to the skies.

Sam: Kick ass!

(He opens up Red's gift next: An actual lightsaber. He presses a button, and a blue beam of light shoots forth. And guess what, the hilt is a lightsaber too! Think Kylo Ren's lightsaber if you will)

Red: A much better lightsaber than that weak little toy he had, if you ask me.

(Next is Millie's gift: A pair of gloves with strong armor on the back of them. The armor appears to be made of the same material the shield is made from)

Millie: You know, in case his opponent is someone with hard armor like Max. I don't want him to hurt himself after punching a foe like that.

(Bebe's gift is next: Two uzis that are painted orange and black to match Sir Justice's color theme. The uzis come with bullets)

Bebe: Dr. Sophocles modified the gun so its bullets travel faster than normal, and so its range can be longer than usual.

(Finally, there's Cody's gift: Small discs that are meant for the bottom of Sir Justice's shoes)

Cody: These are voice activated speed discs. If Sir Justice puts these speed discs on the bottom of his shoes, he'll be able to run super fast. We tested it, and he could run up to 150 mph!

Heidi: (Chiming in) Still have a bit of motion sickness.

(She gets queasy and throws up in a nearby trash can)

(Sam is moved by his friend's generosity)

Sam: (To himself) Amazing. They care about my persona so much that they went out of their way to give him these new tools. I'm touched. (Out loud) Thank you, everyone. I'll be sure to give Sir Justice these whenever I see him.

(He wraps the gifts back up in the wrapping paper)

Sam: Well, I'd better head off. Thanks again, Sir Justice will be glad to get stuff like this from his fans. See you around.

The six kids: Bye!

* * *

(Sam skateboards off with his gifts. He was able to keep his balance and hold the gifts at the same time. He decides to take a shortcut through the park. Once he enters the park, he sees Cartman talking to the likes of Kenny, Kyle, Stan, Butters, Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Token, Kevin, Scott, and Timmy)

Sam: I wonder what Cartman is up to? (Skateboards up to the crowd of boys to join in on the conversation)

Cartman: (Notices Sam) Hey, Sam. Glad you showed up, I was about to make an announcement.

Sam: What's the big announcement, buddy?

Cartman: My people at NAMBLA told me that they're throwing a luncheon in my honor today at the South Park Inn, and they want me to invite all of you!

Butters: A luncheon? Oh goody!

Clyde: Count me in!

Sam: You guys can't be serious? NAMBLA means nothing but trouble! They're nothing but a group of…

Craig: Oh put a sock in it, Sam!

Tweek: Yeah! You big party pooper!

Stan: How bad could it be?

Sam: Just trust me! I know about NAMBLA! If you go to this party, you will all forever regret it!

Cartman: I think someone is just jealous that he's not the poster boy for NAMBLA.

Sam: Oh please!

Cartman: Why don't you just swallow your pride and come with us to the party? If you do, I'll forgive you for doubting my decision on joining NAMBLA. I forgave Stan, Kenny, and Kyle. What do you say?

Sam: I will never go to this party!

Cartman: (Shrugs his shoulders) Alright, have it your way. But don't come crying to us when you end up alone and friendless. Come on, everyone, let's go get ready for the party.

(The group of boys leave)

Sam: (To himself) Don't those idiots know that they're making a big mistake? (Sigh) Well, I guess it's up to me…again! But I can't take on a big organization like NAMBLA alone. I need to assemble my own little posse. First things first, I got to get my costume on.

(He goes into a port-a-potty with his six gifts and puts on his costume and gifts. The speeds disks are on the bottom of his shoes, his uzis and lightsaber are latched onto his belt, his wingpack is on his back, he has his armored gloves on, and his shield is on his right wrist since the left is occupied by his grappling hook)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Boots, activate! (The speed boots turn on) With these speed boots, I should be able to get around town much faster. First stop, South Park Hills!

(Sir Justice races off to South Park Hills to get Cody)

* * *

(South Park Hills is the rich part of town with many mansions, clean roads and properties, and cobblestone streets. Sir Justice/Sam loses traction on the streets and wipes out. He ends up crashing right into a mansion door. Coincidently, this mansion is Cody's)

Cody: (Opens the door and sees Sir Justice) Oh, Sir Justice! How've you been, old sport.

Sam/Sir Justice: Very fine. I got your speed boots! Very effective way to get around. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because there's an evil organization that wants to molest the little boys of the town. This organization's name is NAMBLA! I can't take them on alone. I need your help. Would you like to assist me in taking down NAMBLA?

Cody: NAMBLA? I think my parents told me about them. Sure, I'll help you. Just let me look at my schedule. (He takes out a piece of paper) Steven Universe comes on at 11:00, but I can always record that on DVR. My parents scheduled a massage for me at 2:00. Fencing class doesn't start until 5:00. I get back home at around 7:00, which is when I take my bath, and then…

Sam/Sir Justice: ARE YOU FREE OR NOT!?

Cody: Hang on! Rome wasn't built in a day! (Goes back to his schedule) Let's see, I could have my parents move my massage to 3:00. The session only takes about 30-45 minutes. So yeah, I'd say I'm free until 3:00.

Sam/Sir Justice: Perfect! Come on, let's go!

Cody: (Shouts to his mother as he grabs his fencing sword from a closet) Mother! Move my massage to 3:00, please! I have to help Sir Justice save the boys of the town from being molested!

Mrs. Oppenheimer: (From another room) Okay! Don't forget to pick up milk!

Cody: Let's go!

* * *

(The two boys leave for the suburbs. In said suburbs, Cody and Sir Justice are on their way to Bebe's house)

Cody: Bebe said that she was heading home after we delivered the gifts to you. She said that she, Red, Annie, and Heidi were going to head back to her house to binge watch Gravity Falls.

Sam/Sir Justice: What about that other girl, Millie.

Cody: Ballet lessons!

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay then.

(Eventually, they make it to Bebe's house, and they knock on the door. Mr. Jeffrey Stevens answers the door)

Jeffrey: Hello?

Cody: Hello, Mr. Stevens. My name is Cody Oppenheimer. You know Sir Justice, I bet.

Jeffrey: Yes! (He hugs Sir Justice) Thank you so much for saving our daughter, as well as everyone else's daughter, from that monster, Justin.

Sam/Sir Justice: It was my pleasure, Mr. Stevens, sir. So, is Bebe home?

Jeffrey: Yes. She's in her room with her friends watching Gravity Falls.

Sam/Sir Justice: May we see them?

Jeffrey: Of course. Bebe! Someone's at the door for you and your friends.

(Bebe, Red, Annie, and Heidi come downstairs)

Bebe: What is, daddy?

(She looks to see Sir Justice at the door)

The four girls: SIR JUSTICE!

Bebe: Oh my god! He's actually here! At my house! _My_ house!

Annie: I am so jealous of you right now.

Bebe: So, what brings you here, Mr. Justice, sir!

Sam/Sir Justice: The boys of South Park are in danger, there's a group called NAMBLA, and…

Red: You need our help to take down NAMBLA?

Sam/Sir Justice: That's right.

Bebe: We'd love to come with you! We'll help you anyway we can!

(Jeffrey seems interested as well)

Jeffrey: Did you say, NAMBLA was here in South Park?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah.

Jeffrey: (Gets an angry expression on his face) Joey…he was my best friend when I was a kid. NAMBLA got him! He hasn't been the same ever since that day at the park. His perspective on love was so warped that he didn't know what to think. He was so confused and depressed that he took his own life. I blame NAMBLA for what they did to Joey, and I can never forgive them! Something must be done!

(Jeffrey runs upstairs to his bedroom. He takes off his glasses, puts in some contact lenses, puts on a pair of badass sunglasses, grabs his childhood baseball bat labeled, "Lucielle" from underneath his bed, grabs a leather jacket from a coat rack and puts it on, and heads back downstairs. The six kids look at Jeffrey in shock and awe, never having seen this side of him before)

Heidi: Where the hell is this coming from?

Bebe: If mom were here right now, she would be so turned on right now. I know it.

Annie: (Blushing) I wouldn't blame her.

Jeffrey: (Looks at Sam/Sir Justice) I'm coming with you…for Joey!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Not sure how to react to Jeffrey's shift in attitude and personality)….Okay.

Jeffrey: Those NAMBLA bastards are going to pay. Let's do this thing!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Still shocked) Okay…uh…follow me to the next location, everyone.

* * *

(The group of seven leave Bebe's house and head for the next location, Mr. Garrison's house to enlist Mr. Slave. On the way there, they see Leon, the Sixth Grade Leader from Pre School, playing basketball in the front yard of his house. Leon turns his attention to Sir Justice's posse)

Leon: Hey, superhero dude!

(The posse turns their attention towards Leon)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, you're that kid who helped me fight against Trent Boyett! I see you've made a full recovery from that Texas Chili Bowl.

Leon: Yeah. It wasn't easy, but I pulled through. So where are you guys off to?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm forming a little coalition to fight against NAMBLA: An infamous group of pedophiles. You want in?

Leon: Sure. I've got nothing better to do. Just let me grab my hockey stick, and I'll be ready.

(Leon puts his basketball away and grabs a hockey stick and four golf clubs)

Leon: I'm ready. (He gives the golf clubs to Bebe, Red, Annie, and Heidi) Something to defend yourselves with.

Annie: Gee, thanks!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright. Forward march!

* * *

(The group of eight go to Mr. Garrison's house. They knock on the door, and Mr. Herbert Garrison opens the door)

Mr. Garrison: Hello everyone. (Sees Jeffrey dressed in his badass clothes) Bebe, why is your father dressed like that?

Jeffrey: For one reason, and one reason alone…revenge!

Mr. Garrison: Okay then. Why are you all here?

Sam/Sir Justice: Is Mr. Slave home?

Mr. Garrison: He's in our room reading. You can visit him if you want.

Bebe: Thank you.

(The group go into and Mr. Garrison's bedroom, where they find Mr. Slave reading the Karma Sutra. He sees a page he likes)

Mr. Slave: Oh ho ho! Jesus Christ!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Chimes in) Soooooo…you're reading the Karma Sutra?

Mr. Slave: Oh, Jesus! You startled me. Hey, aren't you that same guy who helped me and Wendy put an end the Stupid Spoiled Whore trend a few weeks ago?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes, my name is Sir Justice! There's no time for idle chit-chat! The boys in the town are in great peril! They are going to a luncheon held by the infamous NAMBLA!

Mr. Slave: Oh sweet Jesus! Now the boys are in trouble?!

Sam/Sir Justice: Unfortunately, yes. We want to know if…

Mr. Slave: (Goes into his closet and takes out a whip)…I can join you all in knocking NAMBLA down a peg or two. You bet!

(The group of eight look at the whip)

Red: Why do you have a whip in your closet, Mr. Slave?

Mr. Slave: Red, when you get older, you'll learn that there are many things that turn people on.

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay then. All we need now is to get Wendy and our circle will be complete. Come along, everyone!

* * *

(The group of nine head for Wendy's house. Upon arriving, they knock on the door and Wendy answers)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hello, young citizen!

Wendy: Sir Justice? (In her mind) Drop the act already, Sam. I know it's you. (Out loud) What brings you here?

Sam/Sir Justice: NAMBLA. An evil organization hell bent on molesting the young boys of the town. Think of the incident with Justin, only a whole lot worse.

(Just then Doug comes at the door)

Doug: Sweetie, who is it? (Sees its Sir Justice) Oh hey, Sir Justice, right?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yup!

Doug: Come inside you all! (The group of nine enter the house) What brings you by?

Sam/Sir Justice: NAMBLA is about to have a luncheon, and they're inviting the young boys of the town as guests. Something is telling me that they're going to molest those boys by the end of the day. I don't know your stance on pedophiles and the like, good sir, but we were just asking your daughter if she'd like to join us in stopping these freaks.

Doug: Count me in! Pedophilia is not right. As a proud father, I cannot bear the thought that our children are in danger. I mean, what if it was my little Wendy that these pervs were going after? I'd be glad to help.

Wendy: You know what, Sir Justice. I'm in as well. Just hang on.

(Wendy leaves the living room and heads upstairs to her room. The group of ten follow and wait for Wendy to leave her room)

Doug: Wendy, are you okay?

Wendy: Are you all near my door?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes.

Wendy: I need you all to back away.

(The group of 10 do as they're told and then…)

 _ **POW!**_

(Wendy's bedroom door pops right off of the hinges, and out comes Wendy dressed in a pink sleeveless karate gi with a white belt, black hair tied in a pony tail, and her pink hat replaced with a pink headband)

Sam/Sir Justice: Damn, girl!

Wendy: Pedophiles are a disgrace to society, and they must be stopped.

Bebe: Awesome! Come on, Wendy, let's get to it!

Wendy: Don't call me Wendy for right now, Bebe. Call me the Fuchsia Tigress!

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, who's the real superhero here?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: What? Can't you share the limelight just a little bit, Sir Justice?

Sam/Sir Justice: Very well.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: After taking that hard blow to the face from Justin, it made me realize how weak I truly was, so I couldn't help my friends, the people I cared about. I never wanted to be in that position ever again. So I had my dad enroll me in karate lessons, I picked up the techniques fast, and now I'm ready to fight.

Mr. Slave: You go, girl.

Sam/Sir Justice: So I guess no weapons for you?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Nope. All I need to deal with these NAMBLA fucks are these (Raises her fists)

Sam/Sir Justice: I see. (Looks at Doug) What about you.

Doug: I'm with my daughter. I'll let my fists do the talking when it comes to awful men like these.

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright. I think 11 people is all we need to take on NAMBLA.

Cody: Not quite, old sport. There's one more person that I'd like to get on our side.

* * *

(We cut to the South Park Inn, where the dinner party is beginning in the ballroom)

Elliot: (Speaks into a microphone at a podium) Fellow NAMBLA members, it is great to see you all here. It seems like we have finally found a city that won't oppress us.

(The NAMBLA members cheer)

Elliot: First and foremost, I want to recognize Eric Cartman for putting us in touch with all of you young and handsome boys.

(Everyone, including the boys, applaud Cartman)

Cartman: Thank you. Thank you very much.

(Cartman sits back down at his table with some NAMBLA members, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle)

Kenny: Dude, this is boring.

Stan: Yeah, I thought this club of yours would have more meat to it. More activities, talk about sports, maybe a movie.

Kyle: (Stands up and yells) Hey! When are we going to get some action, huh?!

(The NAMBLA members get lustful grins on their faces)

Elliot: Oh my! What a gift from God. We'll get right to activities very soon, I assure you. But first, I'd like you all to get acquainted with us. So grab a partner everybody, one boy and one man per group. It's time we turn down the lights and dance.

(Romantic music plays in the background, and the boys dance with the NAMBLA members, unaware of what's actually happening)

* * *

(Meanwhile, our band of 11 heroes enter South Park Labs)

Cody: Uncle Sophocles! Your favorite nephew is here!

Sophocles: (From another room) I'm right in here, Cody.

Cody: Come on.

(The group goes down the hall the cafeteria, where Sophocles and Mephesto are setting up for some kind of meeting)

Mephesto: Thank you for helping me set up for my NAMBLA meeting, Sophocles.

Sophocles: I had nothing better to do.

(Just then, the group of 11 enter the cafeteria and see rows of chairs and a banner that reads NAMBLA)

Sam/Sir Justice: NAMBLA!

Leon: (Steps up) Don't worry, boss, I got this! RAH!

(He charges at Mephesto with his hockey stick, and when he swings it, Mephesto blocks the attack with his cane)

Mephesto: Saw that attack coming a mile away.

Sophocles: Cody, what is all of this? Why did you bring all of these people here?

Cody: (Looking at the banner) Uncle, are you a part of NAMBLA?

Sophocles: What? No! But my colleague Dr. Mephesto is.

Leon: You heard the man, get him!

(Mephesto whacks him in the head with his cane before Leon can do anything)

Mephesto: It's not what you think.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah right. I see the banner right there! (Points at it)

Mephesto: No, look closer! (Points at smaller print on the banner) This version of NAMBLA is known as the North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes. I would never dream of hurting children like that. Ever!

Cody: It all makes sense now.

Mephesto: Wait, don't tell me that the other NAMBLA is here in South Park.

Sir Justice/Sam: Unfortunately, yes. That's why I rounded up all of these folks here. So they can help me take them down.

(Leon regains consciousness and walks over to Sam/Sir Justice's side)

Leon: Do you know the other NAMBLA?

Mephesto: Know them? Me and my group have been fighting with those sick bastards for years. Have they hurt any of South Park's children yet.

Sam/Sir Justice: Not that we know of. Which is why we have to work fast. Would you two like to join us in the fight?

Sophocles: Like I said. I have nothing better to do. Plus it'll be a great way to let off steam after all the stress that has befallen me recently.

Mephesto: I'm in too. It'll also be a great way to teach them a lesson for stealing our domain name. Just give me one moment first.

(Mephesto goes to his lab and comes back with one of his recent genetic experiments: A being with a kangaroo's legs, arms, and ears, and a lizard's tail, torso and head)

Leon: Awesome…

Mr. Slave: Jesus Christ!

Heidi: What am I even looking at?

Mephesto: Say hello to my latest experiment: The Lizaroo! With the kicking power of a kangaroo, and strong tongue of a lizard, this is the perfect fighting machine!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, a strong group of 14. Those NAMBLA fuckers don't stand a ghost of a chance. Alright guys, I think you know what time it is?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Ass kicking time?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Grins) Oh yeah, ass kicking time!

* * *

 **(Cue Where the Hood At by D.M.X)**

 **(Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at? Have that nigga in the cut, where the wood at? Oh, them niggas actin' up?! Where the wolves at? You better BUST THAT if you gon' pull that (x2) YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice and his squad are walking down the street all slow-mo and badass. Sam/Sir Justice and Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress are leading the troop and they are looking determined as hell.

(Sophocles offers cigarettes to Jeffrey, Doug, Mr. Slave, and Mephesto and all but Doug take one)

(Annie, Red, and Heidi are fawning over Sir Justice, but Bebe is looking at Cody with a shy expression on her face. Cody looks at her as if something is troubling her and Bebe turns away)

(Leon does some poses as he's walking to try and look more intimidating…but he falls on his face during one of them. He gets back up though)

(The last shot is a shot of the Lizaroo's blank expression on its face. A fly flies by and the Lizaroo uses its tongue to eat it)

(As the music fades out, the squad of 14 are still walking slow-motion…and a civilian just walks past them at normal speed. They really are walking slow motion)

Cody: Hey, Sir Justice? Why are we walking in slow motion?

Sam/Sir Justice: I thought it would make us look cooler. And it does! We look awesome!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: But we're wasting precious time.

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh, damn, you're right Wendy. We've wasted 15 minutes walking like this. For all we know, those NAMBLA assholes could've had their way with those boys by now. We'd need a miracle to get to the South Park Inn now…and I think I have that miracle.

Sophocles: What's that?

Sam/Sir Justice: You'll see. Everyone form a line behind me, and hold hands with the people in front of and behind you.

(The rest of the group does as they're told. The group of 14 form a chain by holding each others' hands)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, everyone, hold on tight. Cody's Boots, activate!

(The speed boots turn on)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, on the count of three, I take off.

(Everyone gasps)

Mr. Slave: He wouldn't.

Sam/Sir Justice: One…

Red: He would.

Sam/Sir Justice: Two…

Bebe: Get ready!

Cody: (With a high pitched voice) I'm not scared…

Sam/Sir Justice: THREE!

(With that, the group of 14 take off at lightning speeds down the street. Sam/Sir Justice has a look of determination on his face while everyone else is just holding on for dear life. Every time they turned a corner they were worried that they'd get whiplash or dislocate their arms)

Sophocles: Sir Justice, stop this crazy thing!

Mr. Slave: JEEEEESSSUUUUUUUUSSSSS CHRIIIIIIIIIISSSTTT!

Bebe: Urgh! My skin feels like it's going to peel right off!

Heidi: (Her stomach gurgles and she moans) Getting motion sickness! Someone let me off!

Cody: If I somehow survive this, I am never going on another roller coaster again!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Ignoring everyone's complaints) VICTORY! HERE WE COME!

* * *

(Meanwhile, at South Park Junkyard, Damien is watching this all on his crystal ball)

Damien: Sir Justice is going after NAMBLA. No doubt he'll be tired after dealing with them. Max, now is your time to redeem yourself. Once Sir Justice deals with them, swoop in and go for the kill. Got it?

Max: Yes master, I promise I won't let you down again.

Damien: (Evil grin) Good.

* * *

(Meanwhile, at the South Park Inn, the boys are still dancing with the men. Elliot then turns the music off)

Elliot: Alright, members, we've danced long enough. I think it's time for all of us to retire to our respective rooms and get to know these young boys.

(The NAMBLA members grin and giggle amongst themselves)

Clyde: They seem oddly happy about this.

Craig: They're probably just really excited about getting to know us.

Clyde: Yeah that's it.

Elliot: (Holds up a bowl with room keys in them) Okay, everyone, come up and grab your room keys, pick a boy you like, and we'll head upstairs.

(The NAMBLA members pick a boy and a room key and the get ready to head upstairs. As this is going on, Sir Justice and his posse arrive in the hotel's lobby. He busts through the front door and lands on his feet while everyone else crashes on the floor, almost too dizzy to get up)

Sam/Sir Justice: Have no fear, Sir Justice is here!

(He looks behind him to see his group in shambles. Heidi gets up and runs to a trash can to throw up)

Doug: I think I have whiplash.

Sam/Sir Justice: Oops. Sorry, guys. We just had to get here super fast before anything happened.

Annie: Don't worry. We understand.

(Just then, Sam/Sir Justice sees NAMBLA and the boys head into an elevator)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey! Stop right there you NAMBLA fucks!

(Too late, the elevator doors close before Sir Justice can even get to them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Damn it! (He looks up at the screen above the elevator door and sees that they're heading for the fourth floor) Come on everyone, we can still catch them in the act if we take the stairs. Let's go!

(The rest of the posse gets their bearings straight as they get up and follow Sam/Sir Justice up the staircase)

(Meanwhile, the NAMBLA member and boys head into their respective rooms. After a while…

Boys: AAAAAHHHHHH!

(All of the boys run out of their rooms and meet in the hallway)

Stan: Dude! I think these guys mean to have sexual encounters with us!

Token: That Sam guy was telling the truth! Why didn't we listen to him!?

Kyle: Let's get the hell out of here.

(They run for the staircase, but they hear footsteps coming up them)

Stan: Oh no! There's more of them!

Tweek: Oh man, we're screwed! Our goose is cooked, man!

Craig: (Tears up in fear and hugs Tweek)

Tweek: Uh, Craig, what are you doing?

Craig: (Releases the hug) Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about.

Clyde: (The footsteps are getting closer) Crap here they come!

(The group of 14 make it to the top and Sam/Sir Justice does some poses)

Sam/Sir Justice: Success!

Cartman: Sir Justice!

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm glad to see you boys are alright. Now where are those NAMBLA bastards?

(The NAMBLA members come out dressed in the hotel's complimentary bathrobes to look for the boys)

Elliot: (Points at the boys) Hey look, there they are!

Member #1: And look, it's that Sir Justice kid from yesterday.

Member #2: And he brought some friends.

Elliot: So, did you decide to join us after all, eh Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: HA! HA! HA! HA! No…

Elliot: Then what the hell are you doing here?

Sam/Sir Justice: Maybe this will answer your question!

(He runs up to Elliot)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick!

(He kicks Elliot right in the stomach and he goes flying across the hall)

Elliot: Oh it's on now! NAMBLA, attack!

(Elliot and the NAMBLA members clash with Sir Justice and his squad, and a fight begins)

Kyle: We have to hide guys!

Butters: (Holds open a door) In here fellas!

(The boys pour into the room so everyone can have their fight)

(With Cody, he's fighting a NAMBLA member who is using an umbrella as a weapon. The member's umbrella and Cody's fencing sword clash)

Cody: En garde! (They keep fighting and Cody pushes the member back) Touche!

Member #3: Oh fuck this

(He charges at Cody with full speed, only to be tripped by Bebe when she sticks her leg out. As the member falls flat on his face, Sophocles jumps on his back to do damage)

Bebe: Too easy.

Cody: (Blushing) Uh, thanks Bebe. That was pretty cool.

Bebe: (Smirks) Don't mention it, Cody.

Sophocles: Hey, I helped too.

Cody: Yes, Uncle Sophocles, thank you.

(With Jeffrey, he's taking down a NAMBLA member with ease, not letting him get up and rest)

Jeffrey: This is for ruining Joey's life! (Whacks him in the face with his bat)! This is for all of the pain we felt over the years (Whacks him in the balls)! And this is for being born in the first place you sack of shit (Whacks him in the stomach)!

(With Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, she's engaged in hand to hand combat with a NAMBLA member. He throws a punch at her, but she blocks and does a counter attack)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Tiger Paw! (She grips his balls hard until the member starts to cry. When the NAMBLA member is powerless, she deals the finishing blow) Raging Kick!

(She does a roundhouse kick wish such ferocity is sends the NAMBLA member flying into the wall. As she's reveling in her victory, another NAMBLA member comes running up behind her)

Doug: Wendy, look out (Punches the NAMBLA member away from her).

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Thanks dad!

Doug: I won't have anyone hurting my daughter. Not on my watch!

(With Heidi and Annie, they are fighting the good fight with their golf clubs raised)

Heidi: Come on, let's go! (A member runs up to her and she whacks him over the head with the club)

Annie: Fore! (Whacks a member in the balls and pushes him away) You guys are too easy.

(Suddenly, a strong and handsome NAMBLA member comes up to them. He decides to use his charms)

Handsome member: Hello, girls.

Heidi: Whoa, hotness!

Annie: (Cat calls) Talk to me, big boy!

Handsome member: I might be a member of NAMBLA, but I'm willing to try different things. What do you girls say we go out somewhere?

Red: Don't fall for it, guys!

(Red hits the handsome member in the face and he falls to the ground)

Red: Are you guys okay?

(Heidi and Annie stop their swooning and are confused)

Annie: Where am I?

(With Mr. Slave, he's giving some NAMBLA members quick lashes from his whip, one of the members seems to be enjoying it a bit)

Member #4: Oh yeah! Whip me good, big boy!

Mr. Slave: Shut up, pervert! This isn't meant to be enjoyable.

Leon: (Chimes in) Yeah, it's meant to be painful!

(Leon whacks the member in the face with his hockey stick and the member spits out a tooth)

(Three NAMBLA members charge at Dr. Mephesto and the Lizaroo)

Mephesto: Okay, Lizaroo, you know what to do.

(Whenever a NAMBLA member got too close, the Lizaroo would use its kangaroo legs to kick them away)

Mephesto: (Pats the Lizaroo's back) My beautiful fighting machine

(We finally cut back to Sir Justice and Elliot)

Sam/Sir Justice: Paintball Barrage!

(He fires paint balls at Elliot and he gets pushed back to a window at the end of the hallway)

Elliot: Damn, these jerks are too strong for us.

(Just then, Elliot looks out the window and sees Max wandering the hotel parking lot)

Elliot: Is that a little boy dressed as a robot? Well ain't he a cute one.

Member #2: Elliot, we could use your assistance.

Elliot: Stop the fighting! There's a little boy dressed as a robot out there.

Sam/Sir Justice: What!?

(Everyone hurries to the window and they see Max)

Bebe: Hey, it's that robot from yesterday.

Cody: Uncle Sophocles! It's Max!

Sophocles: It is!

Bebe: Wait, you guys know what that is?

Sophocles: Yeah, I created that. But something happened, and now Max is wandering around with no master.

Elliot: Come on, NAMBLA! Let's go get this boy!

(NAMBLA leaves the hotel for the parking lot)

Sam/Sir Justice: No, stop! That thing tried to kill me yesterday!

(NAMBLA doesn't listen and they continue to make their way for the parking lot)

Sam/Sir Justice: (To his posse) Come on! We have to hurry!

(The boys come out from hiding, hearing the commotion)

Clyde: What's going on?

Sam/Sir Justice: Max, the robot from yesterday is here. I'm going to go check it out.

Kyle: Wait for us, dude!

* * *

(Sir Justice, his group, and the boys hurry outside. Once they all get outside, they see that Elliot has already tried to approach Max)

Elliot: Aren't you a cute little thing. So tell me, do you like dressing up as a robot?

Max: I thought I made myself perfectly clear. This isn't a costume I really am a robot. I am PB-01 Max: The perfect boy. I'm looking for Sir Justice. Do you know where I can find him?

Elliot: Why are you wasting your time looking for Sir Justice when you can be hanging out with me and my group? I bet even robots like you need a good shoulder rub. (He places his hand on Max's shoulder) What do you say?

Max: I say…..die! (He grabs Elliot's hand, throws him high in the air, and opens his chest cannon) Disintegration Beam!

(Max fires his disintegration beam attack right at Elliot)

Elliot: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(When the attack ends, Elliot is completely vaporized)

Handsome member: M-Master Elliot?!

Max: (Turns to the other NAMBLA members) Do any of you know where I can find Sir Justice?

Member #2: Like we'd tell a brat like you anything!

Handsome member: C'mon, guys! We'll avenge Elliot's death! CHARGE!

(The rest of NAMBLA charges)

Max: What a shame. It looks like you all have a death wish too. (His hand turns into his Gatling attack) It'll be a wish that I'd be glad to fulfill. Perfect Gatling! (He fires his Perfect Gatling attack at the rest of NAMBLA and promptly kills them all)

Annie: No way!

Cartman: He took out those guys with no problems.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets ready to face PB-01 Max)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Hey, where are you going?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm going to face off against Max once and for all.

Doug: Are you crazy?!

Bebe: You've seen what that thing did to those NAMBLA guys. You don't stand a chance.

Sam/Sir Justice: Maybe you're right. But I do have the tools you guys gave me. I think I have a good enough chance with those. Just trust me. I'll be fine. I just ask that you all get as far away from this location as possible. Because a battle so great will occur, that I don't want you all to get caught in the middle of it. Understand.

(Everyone nods their heads)

Sam/Sir Justice: Good. Now go.

(Everyone leaves to hide and Sir Justice steps out from hiding to face Max)

Sam/Sir Justice: MAX!

Max: Well look who finally decided to show up. Sir Justice himself. (Points at the dead NAMBLA members) Do you see the men who lay dead before you? They didn't have to die. They could've lived on if you just showed yourself.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, well they were pedophiles. And I think it was safe to say that if you didn't kill them, then we would've.

Max: Don't take away from my badass monologue. Oh whatever. It's not like it'll matter if you hear it or not. I'll still kill you in the end.

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't think so. I've gotten some new tools to assist me in battle.

 **(Cue This War is Ours by Escape the Fate)**

Max: Is that so? Why don't you show them to me, right now in battle!

Sam/Sir Justice: Bring it on!

Max: (Prepares Gatling gun attack) Alright then. Perfect Gatling!

(He fires the attack)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Boots, activate!

(He disappears before the attack could hit him)

Max: WHAT?!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Appears behind him and gets ready to punch) Fist of Millie!

(He hits Max with his fist and knocks him down to the ground)

Max: Why you! (He gets up and fires his Gatling gun again, but Sam/Sir Justice runs away again and hits him in the face once more) Stop that! (He fires his attack once more but Sam/Sir Justice dodges and hits him again. Before Max knows it, he's taking a flurry of punches from Sam/Sir Justice) Enough of this! (Opens his jetpack and flies away)

 **(** **We have to find a better way Out of this tragedy As the battle rages on Blood stains the ground we're on My ears hear only screams Brave soldiers are dying One Spartan stands alone and shouts This war is ours….This war is ours!)**

Sam/Sir Justice: You can't run from me! (He opens the wingpack) Wings of Heidi, let's go! (He flies upward after Max)

Max: (Looks down at the advancing Sir Justice) Still stalking me, eh? Very well then. (Compartments on his arms and legs open up to reveal missile launchers) Magnificent Missiles!

(He fires his missiles and Sam/Sir Justice dodges all of them with ease)

Max: What is this?!

Sam/Sir Justice: Fist of Millie!

(Punches him down onto the roof of the South Park Inn)

Max: (Looks up at Sam/Sir Justice as he gets up and prepares his Gatling attack) Perfect Gatling! (He fires it)

 **(Yes, I will see you Through the smoke and flames On the front lines of war We have to find a better way And I will stand my ground until the end Till we conquer them all We have to find a better way.)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Opens his shield) Annie's Shield! (He blocks the Perfect Gatling attack and when the attack ends, he flies downward at Max. He takes out his uzis) Bebe's Bullets!

(He fires the uzis. Max takes out his lightsaber, and blocks all of the bullets successfully. Once his attack ends, Max flies upward at Sam with his lightsaber)

Max: Superior Slash!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his lightsaber) Red's Blade!

(The rivals clash blades with each other a couple of times. During the last clash, though, Max pushes Sam/Sir Justice back to ground level)

 **(Through the fire and the flames A sea of dead drives men insane We march the fight into the cold This is as far as it will go The battle ends on top of here This is where we conquer fear On blackout armed with our swords This war is ours. (YEAH!). This war is ours.)**

Max: (Comes down at Sam/Sir Justice) Automaton Punch!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Runs away with Cody's Speed Boots before Max has a chance to hit him, and he runs to the top of the South Park Inn)

Max: Who's running away now?! (Gets out his arm cannon) Power Grenade!

(He fires three power grenades, and Sam/Sir Justice uses his Wings of Heidi to get away and fly high into the sky)

Max: Quit your running, and accept your fate, Sir Justice!

(He flies after Sam/Sir Justice on his jetpack)

 **(Yes, I will see you Through the smoke and flames On the front lines of war We have to find a better way And I will stand my ground until the end Till we conquer them all We have to find a better way. Till we conquer them all! (Instrumental))**

(The two rivals take their fight to the skies. Max is using his Perfect Gatling, Power Grenade, and Disintegration Beam attacks, while Sam/Sir Justice is using his Bebe's Bullets attack, Paintball Barrage, and Mach 2 Water Jet. They are dodging all of the attacks with ease. They decide that a hand to hand approach is better)

Max: Automaton Punch!

Sam/Sir Justice: Fist of Millie!

(The two punches collide, and the impact was so great the two of them fall back down on the parking lot)

(Meanwhile, Damien is observing the fight on his crystal ball back at the junkyard)

 **(Yes I will meet you. Through the smoke and flames. On the front lines of war. And I will stand my ground until the end. Till we conquer them all. We will conquer them all! We will conquer them all! We will conquer them all! (Instrumentals))**

(With the boys and the rest of Sir Justice's squad, they watch from a distance as the two rivals fly back up into the skies to resume their fight)

Bebe: I'm worried about Sir Justice, daddy.

Jeffrey: Don't worry, Bebe. I'm sure he's doing fine.

Sophocles: Yeah, but my I built Max for the sole purpose of being the perfect boy. That includes being perfect in combat.

Kyle: So for all we know, Sir Justice is getting his ass handed to him.

Cody: I wouldn't be so sure. I've seen the look of determination on his face when he fought against Max yesterday. He's not the type of person to go down that easily, I can feel it in my blood.

Heidi: I'm with you, Cody. He held his own against someone like Justin, I think he can do the same with this guy.

Kenny: Yeah. I think he can do this!

(Everyone continues to look on, especially Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam…please be okay.

(We cut back to the fight, as both of them are getting a little tired and are once again in the parking lot)

 **(This war is ours! Yeah! This war is ours! Yes, I will see you! Through the smoke and flames! On the front lines of war!)**

Max: I'll give you this, Sir Justice. You're doing a lot better than the last time we fought.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'll take that as a compliment.

Max: But it's time we end this fight.

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's finish his!

(The two rivals fly up to the skies one more time, this time higher than before)

 **(And I will stand my ground until the end! Till we conquer them all!)**

Max: Power Grenade!

(He fires his Power Grenade attack at Sam/Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: Annie's Shield! (He uses the shield to knock the attack away)

 **(So I will fight my battle till I fall! And I conquer them all! Till we conquer them all! (War! [Repeat: x7])**

Max: DIE! (Opens his chest cannon to prepare his Disintegration Beam)

Sam/Sir Justice: Same to you, buster! (He charges up his Splatter Blaster attack) SPLATTER BLASTER!

Max: DISINTEGRATION BEAM!

(The two attacks collide and the two rivals enter a power struggle. After a while though, Sam/Sir Justice's Splatter Blaster prevails and breaks through Max's Disintegration Beam. The attack hits Max and he falls to the ground)

Max: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 _ **CRASH!**_

(Music fades out as we cut to the junkyard)

Damien: (As he's watching form his crystal ball) Such power! I need to come up with a better plan.

(As Max gets up, Sir Justice/Sam floats gracefully back down to ground level)

Sam/Sir Justice: You've had enough?

Max: (Glares at Sam/Sir Justice, when suddenly, he hears Damien's voice in his head)

Damien: _Max…that's quite enough for right now. Return to me now! We'll regroup and form a new plan._

(The voice disappears)

Max: Well, Sir Justice. It's been fun, it really has been. But the boss is calling me. We'll continue this duel the next time we meet. Farewell!

(Max flies away on his jetpack, and Sam/Sir Justice watches as he flies away into the distance. Everyone comes back to see Sir Justice)

Token: Hey, what happened?

Sam/Sir Justice: Max had to leave. Something about his boss calling him. I don't know who his boss is or what he has planned, but I think it's safe to say that this fight is over for now.

Red: You did awesome, Sir Justice.

Leon: Yeah. You held your own and came out on top. Great work!

Stan: I just wish Sam was here so we can apologize to him for not believe him about NAMBLA.

Sam/Sir Justice: Don't worry. I'm sure he knows.

Tweek: Thanks for saving our skins back there, Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: I can't take all of the credit. We have my little squad to thank too.

Mr. Slave: It was nothing. We were glad to be of help.

Craig: Come on, everyone, let's go home.

(Everyone leaves, but Sam/Sir Justice stays looking into the direction that Max took off in)

Cody: Sir Justice, aren't you coming?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah.

(He follows everyone else)

* * *

(That night, Max returns to the junkyard to meet Damien)

Max: (Gets on one knee) Master Damien…

Damien: This is why I wanted you to kill Sir Justice earlier…so that he couldn't get new tools like what he used just now and easily beat you.

Max: I would've kept fighting, but you wanted to see me.

Damien: But he would've beaten you eventually had you stayed and fought. That's in the past though, right now, I want to talk to you about my new plan. See, Sir Justice has made two enemies since his arrival to South Park.

(He shows Max his crystal ball, and it projects an image of Trent Boyett and Justin)

Damien: Meet Trent and Justin: Two poor unfortunate souls that faced Sir Justice's wrath. They're now rotting in a prison jail cell.

Max: Why are you showing me this, sir?

Damien: I want to get those two on my side. But to do that, I need you to break them out of prison.

Max: Understood.

Damien: I also have my eyes on this person.

(The crystal ball projects an old lady sleeping in her bed)

Max: Who is that?

Damien: That is Ethel Stotch. From what I've heard from my father, this lady is bad to the bone. And she just so happens to be coming to South Park sometime next week. I could use someone like her. I've been monitoring her for a while to see if she really was all that.

Max: Why are you showing me, sir?

Damien: I just figured I'd not only give you your next mission, but also give you a sneak peak at who you'll be working with. So, do you understand what you have to do?

Max: Yes. Break these Justin and Trent guys out of jail.

Damien: Good. Sir Justice, wherever you are, you'd better beware…because I'm coming after you.

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato** **.** **Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou** **.** **Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Sam is entering Whistlin' Willy's Restaurant for a party that's being held by the boys of South Park as a way to apologize for not believing him about NAMBLA. They are playing games, eating pizza, and having a great time)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru mo.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de.** **  
** **Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Sam is now at Bebe's house, hanging out with the girls, binge watching Gravity Falls, eating buckets of popcorn and having a great time)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Now Sam is at Cody's big fencing match. He's sitting in between Sophocles and Bebe, who wanted to tag along, and sitting in front of Cody's parents. Cody wins his round, takes off his safety mask, shakes his opponents hand, and does a victory pose. Sophocles and Sam applaud him, and Bebe has a big smile on her face, happy to see him win)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou  
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido  
Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to  
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: In the jail cell Justin and Trent are held in, they are playing a game of "Go Fish". Trent wins and smirks as Justin scatters the cards all over the place)

(Time for next episode's set up)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte  
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo  
Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute  
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: The same old lady from Damien's crystal ball, Ethel Stotch, is entering a taxi cab with her luggage, ready to visit South Park. The taxi then takes off for the airport)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: Back in Houston, three kids are ready to board a bus. These three people are Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula, Sam's other three friends. They nod at each other before boarding the bus)

(Kurt has brown eyes and brown hair, a long sleeve red and blue plaid shirt with a white undershirt, blue jeans, and black cowboy boots)

(Bridgette has long brown hair and blue eyes, white sandals, and a white sundress that goes down to her knees)

(Ursula has a black t-shirt with a red stripe, blue jeans, black shoes, and short black hair that's covered by a Houston Texans cap)

 **(Samayoinagara  
Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo  
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: Max is flying around the outside of South Park prison in the middle of the night, trying to figure out what the best way to bust Trent and Justin out is)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite  
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu  
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo  
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Wendy is climbing the ranks in her martial arts class, and she eventually becomes a black belt. Sam, Doug, and Mrs. Testaburger are there with her. Sam and Wendy high five each other)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa  
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: Sam, now dressed as Sir Justice, is standing on a cliff overlooking the town, wondering about where Max took off to, and what he'll do when he faces him again)

 **Question of the Chapter:** What do you think of the scenes being divided with those lines as seen in this chapter?


	4. Prologue 4: Butterballs

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints Episode 4: Prologue 4: Butterballs

 **(Ignoring Stan's subplot)**

(It's nighttime, about a week and two days after the NAMBLA debacle. We cut to the South Park prison where we check in on Trent and Justin. Trent is looking outside the window of his jail cell, staring up at the night sky while Justin is doing some push-ups and sit-ups)

Justin: Why do you keep looking out at that window? You yearning to be free?

Trent: What do you think? Once I get out, I'm going after those Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle guys. But first, I'm taking down Sir Justice. He's the reason I'm behind these bars to begin with!

Justin: You know, Sir Justice was a friend of mine. His real name is Samuel Cooper.

Trent: Is that right? If he was your friend, then why would he put you behind these bars?

Justin: Simple. I tell him that I wanted a harem, and the next thing I know, he's going on about, "That's sinful! You shouldn't do that!" and he's all like, "STDS this, pregnancy that!" A bunch of bullshit if you ask me. So if you want to take on Sir Justice when you get out, make sure you leave plenty of ass whooping for me. When I find him, I'm going to kick his ass, and then I'm going to bang those girls right in front of him.

Trent: Whoa, that's dark…I like it.

Justin: My time in prison made me realize something, being a villain is way more fun than playing hero. I figured I might as well start acting like one, you feel me?

Trent: If you want to be evil, go for it!

(Trent continues to look out his window when he sees something flying fast)

Trent: Hey, Justin, look at this!

(Justin comes to the window and sees the fast moving object)

Justin: It looks like a shooting star? You can get like a free wish from that shit, man!

Trent: Well then, if that's the case... (Closes his eyes) I wish Justin and I could get the hell out of here.

(The flying object is coming closer to Trent and Justin's jail cell)

Justin: Uh-oh!

Trent: I also wish the shooting star won't kill us!

Justin: Hit the deck!

(Justin and Trent duck down and the "shooting star" turns out to be PB-01 Max)

Max: Automaton Punch!

(Max busts down the prison wall. As soon as that happened, alarms start blaring)

Intercom: _Code Red! Code Red!_ _Prison break in Cell #126! Stop them!_

(Trent and Justin look up at Max)

Justin: Who the hell are you?

Max: I'm PB-01 Max: The perfect boy! (Holds out his left hand and right arm cannon) Come with me if you want revenge!

Trent: How did you know we want revenge?

Max: My boss knows everything. Come with me, you two will meet him!

(A horde of guards appear)

Guards: Freeze!

Max: Get behind me!

(Trent and Justin get behind Max as he readies his arm cannon)

Max: Power Grenade!

(He fires his Power Grenade attack, creating a wall of smoke. When the smoke clears, the guards see that Max, Trent, and Justin are gone)

Guard #1: No!

Guard #2: They're getting away!

(Meanwhile, Trent and Justin, who are holding onto Max's arms, are flying toward's South Park junkyard)

Justin: So, where are you taking us?

Max: You'll see.

(They eventually land in the junkyard, where Trent and Justin see a hooded Damien standing upon a pile of trash)

Damien: I've been waiting for you two.

Trent: Just who the hell are you?

Damien: Just call me Damien.

Justin: Okay, Damien, did you bring us here because of Sir Justice?

Damien: Of course.

Trent: So you'll help us take him down, correct?

Damien: If you two team up with me (Lowers his hood and grins at Trent, and Justin) We can do so much more than that.

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (3 of which are Trent, Justin, and Max). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut to the morning after the jailbreak, and Sam and Wendy are walking to school)

Sam: So….Sir Justice is really making a name for himself.

Wendy: Yeah. He, (deadpan) or rather you, (normal voice) is kicking some major ass. Trent, Justin, NAMBLA, Max. They were all no match for him, (deadpan) or you.

Sam: Why do you keep making these wacky accusations that _I'm_ Sir Justice?

Wendy: I just think it's a little coincidental that you are nowhere to be found whenever Sir Justice is around, and both you and Sir Justice happen to have the same physical features and habits.

Sam: That's not saying much. The only thing it proves…(Gets a creepy face and scary voice) _Is that I'm Sir Justice's evil twin! Hell bent on the annihilation of all of South Park! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!_

Wendy: (Deadpan) You put sugar in your breakfast cereal this morning again, didn't you?

(Silence)

Sam: (Suddenly calm) I had a couple of tablespoons.

Wendy: Right…Let's just keep going.

(The duo continue walking to school…but they are being watched by three shadowy figures. One is hiding up in the trees, one is hiding in an alley way, and the last one is hiding in a trash can)

Wendy: Hey, Sam?

Sam: Yeah?

Wendy: Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched?

Sam: No? Do you?

(The three shadow figures slowly sneak up behind the duo)

Wendy: I don't know, I just feel like someone is watching us…

Male voice: DOG PILE!

(A boy and two girls tackle Sam to the ground, and Wendy jumps out of the way. It's Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula, Sam's other three friends)

 **(Kurt has brown eyes and brown hair, a long sleeve red and blue plaid shirt with a white undershirt, blue jeans, and black cowboy boots)**

 **(Bridgette has long brown hair and blue eyes, white sandals, and a white sundress that goes down to her knees)**

 **(Ursula has a black t-shirt with a red stripe, blue jeans, black shoes, and short black hair that's covered by a Houston Texans cap)**

Kurt: It's been a while, Sam!

Sam: Kurt! Bridgette! Ursula! It's you!

Bridgette: Hey, Sammy, we missed you!

Sam: I missed you guys, too!

Ursula: (Helps Sam up and hugs him tightly) Great to see you, buddy!

Sam: It's great to see you too, Ursula! So, I guess you guys took some mental health days from school like Justin did?

Kurt: (Gets up as does Bridgette does) Yeah. We missed you, pal. Why should Justin have all of the fun?

Sam: Speaking of which, did you hear about what happened?

Bridgette: Yeah. He tried to force himself upon some girls here in town and now he's in jail.

Kurt: I knew the guy was girl crazy, but I didn't expect him to go this far.

Sam: Nobody did.

Wendy: Sam, are these more of your friends?

Sam: Oh, where are my manners. (Turns to his friends) Guys, this is my new friend, Wendy. Wendy, these are my old friends from Houston: Ursula, Kurt, and Bridgette.

Kurt: Howdy.

Ursula: Nice to meet you.

Wendy: Likewise. (In her mind) Are these three vigilantes like Sam? (Out loud) So, are you guys like Justin was?

Bridgette: Oh heavens, no! We're nothing like Justin. We'd never hurt a fly.

Ursula: Unless said fly provokes us.

Kurt: And unlike Justin, I know how to treat a lady. Treat her with the utmost respect, stroke her ego once in a while, make her feel good.

Wendy: You already sound miles better than Justin.

Kurt: Thank you.

Sam: I should introduce you three to the rest of my friends.

Ursula: You've made more friends? I hope you're not trying to replace us, Sammy boy.

Sam: I wouldn't dream of replacing you guys. Everyone should be at the school by now. Come on, let's go!

(Sam, Wendy, Bridgette, Kurt, and Ursula head off for the school. On the way there, they find Stan, Kenny, Cartman, Kyle, Bebe, Annie, Red, and Heidi gathered around the window of the T.V store)

Sam: Hey, there's some of them now!

(The group of five go up to meet Sam's friends)

Sam: Hiya, guys!

(No response. The group of eight watching T.V through the window look very upset)

Sam: I want to introduce you guys to my other three friends: Ursula, Bridgette, and Kurt.

Stan: (Turns around to look at them) Oh, hey (Goes back to watching T.V).

Ursula: This isn't much of a welcome wagon.

Sam: Guys, what's wrong?

Kyle: Just look at the T.V.

Sam: Why? What's happening?

(Sam, Kurt, Wendy, Bridgette, and Ursula join the group of eight watching T.V, and a news report comes on)

Tom Thompson: Good morning, South Park, Tom Thomson here with some breaking news.

(Clips of South Park jail with the wall broken down are shown)

Tom Thompson: Late last night, a jail break took place, and police reported that Trent Boyett of South Park, CO and Justin Powers of Houston, TX, escaped with the help of a mysterious robot. Guards managed to give a description of the robot to a sketch artist, and this is what came up.

(Shows a drawing of Max on screen along with headshots of Trent and Justin)

Tom Thompson: If you see any of these three, please notify the proper authorities.

(As the news story keeps going, the group of 13 are in complete shock and awe)

Kenny: T-T-T-Trent…

Bebe: J-J-J-Justin…

All but Wendy, Kurt, Bridgette, Ursula, and Sam: ESCAPED!

(The eight kids start going crazy, as they are afraid of what's going to happen now that they've escape)

Heidi: This can't be happening!

Annie: WE'RE GONNA DIE!

(With the four boys)

Kyle: Dudes, you know Trent is going to come after us.

Stan: That's it, I got to run away! My family will find me somehow!

Cartman: You can't run away, you have to be the sacrifice in case Trent comes after us.

Stan: What?! Why me?!

Cartman: Last I checked, you were the one who wanted to play Fireman, which resulted in Trent helping us, which resulted in us pinning the blame on him, and him getting arrested, which resulted in him gunning for our ass!

Stan: Well, I think Kenny should be the sacrifice!

Kenny: What!?

Stan: Hey, you came up with the idea of putting out a _real_ fire, which is why we needed Trent's help, which is why we pinned the blame on him, which is why he's going to come after us.

Kenny: Go straight to hell! Besides, Kyle was the one who suggested we enlist Trent to begin with!

Kyle: Don't get me involved with this!

(As the four boys argue, Bebe is just watching on)

Bebe: Sure am glad we don't single each other like that for a sacrifice, huh girls.

Annie: Uh, actually, Bebe. Red, Heidi, and I have been talking. And we decided that Justin won't be satisfied until he gets at least one of us. So if we had to pick which one of us would get raped…we'd pick you.

Bebe: WHAT!? You're choosing me as a sacrifice?! How dare you!

Red: We knew you'd react this way, so just hear us out.

Bebe: Why would you want this to happen to me?!

Annie: Where do we start? First: We thought you got along with Justin more than we did, so he'd probably want you more.

Red: Yeah, I remember you kissed him on the cheek to say goodbye after we saw that movie on the day we met him.

Annie: Second: You were the only one of us wearing highlights in your hair, making you the odd man out.

Bebe: Well that's a cop out.

Annie: Third: You developed breasts earlier than we did, so we think Justin might have more fun with you.

Bebe: Really?!

Annie: Fourth: Did you see how your father reacted to NAMBLA last week?

Red: Yeah, he went all 80s action movie hero on their asses. So if he gets word that you've been raped, he'll just go Arnold Schwarzenegger again, and whoop Justin's ass. It's a lose-win scenario for you.

Annie: And fifth: You have a pretty blonde hair color. Guys go crazy for that.

Bebe: You're a blonde too!

Annie: Yeah, but my hair is shorter and thinner, while yours is longer and more full.

Bebe: I can't believe this, you guys actually want me to get fucking raped!

Annie: I didn't say we _wanted_ you to get raped. But if we were to choose one of us to sacrifice, you'd be the first pick.

Bebe: Go to hell!

(The four boys and four girls argue amongst each other, and Sam decides to end it by making an announcement. He stands on top of a parked car and clears his throat)

Sam: Okay, everyone, SHUT THE HELL UP!

(The two groups of four quiet down to listen to Sam)

Sam: I don't know why you guys are worrying about who to sacrifice, or what's going to happen when Trent and Justin find you. We have Sir Justice here to take care of us! Just put your faith in Sir Justice, and he'll protect you.

(The eight kids calm down and realize they're acting stupid)

Heidi: Sam's right. We have nothing to fear with Sir Jusitce here in town.

Kyle: Yeah! He put Trent and Justin behind bars once, he can do it again!

Sam: Exactly. So don't worry too much about what's going to happen. Focus on what's going to happen to them when they fight Sir Justice for a second time! Come on, everyone, let's go to school.

(Everyone heads to school, but Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula stay behind. Sam goes back to say goodbye)

Sam: Sorry you had to see that.

Bridgette: Don't worry about it. It's only natural for humans to panic when evil comes knocking at our doorstep.

Ursula: If you ever need help in taking down Justin or this Trent guy, you know who to call.

Sam: Thanks, guys. I have to get to school now. We'll hang out after school today?

Bridgette: Sounds good.

Sam: Great, I'll see you then. See you later!

(His three friends wave him goodbye as Sam hurries off to school)

(At school, the rest of the day seemed normal and calm. Then lunchtime arrives. We cut to the likes of Annie, Red, Clyde, Token, and Bebe on the lunch line getting their lunch for the day)

Annie: Hey guys, I've been thinking.

Token: About what?

Annie: Sir Justice. I mean, he saved us from our respective troubles. He saved you and Clyde from NAMBLA, and he saved Bebe, Red and I from Justin. I think we owe him for his good deeds.

Clyde: That's not a bad idea.

Bebe: But how do we do it? He only seems to appear whenever someone is in danger.

Annie: Oh, you're saying we need to put ourselves in danger. If so, there are a few things we can do. We can either tie ourselves to the train tracks, or fight some notorious gangs, which one is it going to be?

Clyde: Neither! We don't have to do that. I'm sure if we wait long enough, Sir Justice will appear somewhere in town. When he does, we'll find him, and ask if there's anything we can do for him in return for his good deeds.

Red: Speaking of which, what did you have in mind for thanking him, Annie?

Annie: I was thinking about fighting alongside him. In case he runs into a mission he can't handle alone, like the time he fought against NAMBLA. And I'm not talking about fight with him as random citizens, I mean wear superhero disguises of our own and have cool weapons. We'll be like the Justice Friends.

Token: That group of superheroes from the Dexter's Laboratory cartoon?

Annie: Exactly.

Clyde: You know, that's actually not a bad idea. I wouldn't mind fighting with Sir Justice side by side.

Token: I don't think any of us would.

Annie: Great. So we're all in agreement. The next time we see Sir Justice, we ask him if we can fight together with him.

Bebe: Sounds good. We can handle disguises on our own, right?

(The other four nod)

Bebe: Wonderful. As far as weapons are concerned, I say we swing by Dr. Sophocles' lab and ask if he can make more.

Red: Good idea. We should also ask some of our friends if they want to join us. Maybe we can even ask others who assisted us like Mr. Slave, Leon, Mr. Testaburger, or maybe even your own dad, Bebe.

Bebe: Okay.

Annie: Alright. I can't wait! This is going to be the coolest thing ever!

(Meanwhile, Sam is sitting at a table eating with Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Craig, Tweek, and Kenny. Cartman is trying to have a conversation with his friends)

Cartman: No, no, no! I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls wearing skin-tight clothes, and singing songs about their vajayjays. Used to be chicks sang about their relationships; now it's all "my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that." But clearly that's what sells. Think about it. When was the last time you turned on a music video and didn't see some chick strumming a guitar singing about her vajayjay?

(The rest of the guys ignore him)

Cartman: See, you can't remember.

Sam: No, you're just talking crazy again.

Cartman: What you see as crazy, I see as the truth.

Sam: Uh-huh…

(Suddenly, Butters comes up to the table and sits in the only available spot. Butters' right eye is black and blue)

Butters: (Sits down) Hey, fellas.

Kyle: Where's your lunch, Butters?

Butters: Uh, I'm not feeling that hungry.

Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again?

Butters: (Sigh) Yeah.

Stan: Butters, this is like the third day in a row.

Sam: You have to tell a teacher about this, Butters.

Butters: No, I'm not a tattletale.

Stan: Okay, then write the principal an anonymous letter.

Butters: No, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.

Craig: Fine then. How about you just get a bigger bully to beat your bully up?

Butters: No, I don't want kids calling me a Cliché Conflict Resolution Kevin.

Sam: God, Butters, you're hard to please.

Cartman: Don't get mad at Butters, Sam, he's got a point.

Sam: But by doing nothing, he's just going to keep getting bullied.

Kyle: If Butters doesn't want to follow our advice, then he's just going to have to stick it out.

Craig: Don't worry, Butters, life sucks sometimes. It'll pass.

Sam: Bullshit! Kids like Butters are getting bullied every day, and people like us just stand by and watch it happen. This is why brave heroes like Sir Justice exist: To purge the pest that is evil, and fight for what is right in this world! Well, for something like this, I don't need Sir Justice! I can handle this bullying problem on my own!

(Red, Bebe, Clyde, Token, and Annie walk by)

Token: Good for you, Sam.

Bebe: Yeah, it's nice to see that somebody in this school has balls.

Cartman: I have balls.

Red: Yeah. Little, squishy, shriveled, sterile, boba-tea balls.

Cartman: It's still balls.

Tweek: Look, Butters. Why don't you talk to your family about it?

Kyle: Good idea, Tweek. Tell your family about it, Butters. You said that your Grandma Ethel is visiting this week, so why don't you try talking to her?

Butters: My grandma?

Sam: Your grandmother has been on this earth longer than any of us. She probably has a few good life stories to learn from.

Butters: Yeah... (Gets up from his chair) I have to go the bathroom, I'll be back.

(He leaves)

Craig: That was weird.

(Later on in the day, when school is out of session, the kids head home. Sam leaves the school's main entrance with Bebe, Wendy, Clyde, Token, Red, and Annie. Upon leaving, Sam sees his friends, Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula waiting outside and waving at him)

Sam: Hey, guys! (Sam and his new friends meet up with Sam's old friends)

Kurt: Hey, Sam. (Looks at South Park Elementary) So this is your school, eh?

Sam: Yeah, not much, but it's a decent school.

Kurt: Still looks better than the school back at Houston. (He looks at Sam's six other friends) So these are some of your friends?

Bebe: Yes, we've met before, I think.

Ursula: Yeah, you were all freaking out in front of the T.V store about Justin and some Trent dude breaking out of jail.

Red: Yeah, that was us.

Sam: Allow me to introduce you to my friends formally. You've already met Wendy, but these guys here are Token, Bebe, Red, Clyde, and Annie.

Kurt: Howdy, the name's Kurt. These two ladies are my friends, Bridgette and Ursula.

Ursula: 'Sup.

Bridgette: Hey there.

(Annie and Clyde are awe struck by Kurt and Bridgette as they stare at them with love in their eyes as Cutting Crew's Died in Your Arms Tonight plays in the background)

 **(Oh, I…I just died in your arms tonight! Must've been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight! Oh, I…I just died in your arms tonight! Must've been some kind of kiss. I should've walked away. I should've walked away)**

 **(Record scratch)**

Kurt: Hey, are you two okay?

Annie: Are you guys anything like Justin.

Bridgette: Heavens no.

Clyde: Are you single?

Bridgette: Uh? Yes.

Annie: How 'bout you, Kurt.

Kurt: Yup, single.

Clyde: (Looks up at the sky) Thank you, God!

Annie: (Looks up with him) I am forever in your debt, Jesus.

Kurt: Okay then, so, you guys want to hang out.

Bebe: We'd love to, but Annie, Clyde, Red, Token and I have to head to South Park Laboratories for some important business.

Wendy: And I have to get home and finish a book report for English class.

Sam: I'll hang out with you guys. It's been a while. It'll give us a chance to catch up with each other.

Ursula: Cool. (Turns to the other six kids) We'll see you guys around, I guess?

Wendy: Sure.

Ursula: Nice. See you guys around then.

Six kids: Bye.

(They go their separate ways)

Kurt: We'll head back to our room at the South Park Inn and watch a movie. How does that sound, Sammy?

Sam: Sounds dynamite, bud.

(Sam sees Butters heading home alone)

Sam: Uh, can we make a quick stop first?

Bridgette: Sure.

Sam: Alright, follow me.

(The four kids follow Butters home. About halfway to his house, Butters turns around as if someone is following him. The four kids hide in a nearby dumpster. Butters looks around, shrugs his shoulders, and continues to walk home. The four kids come out of their hiding place)

Kurt: Sam, why are we following this kid again?

Sam: This kids' name is Butters. He's being bullied, and I want to follow him to see if he gets bullied again on the way home so that I can stop whoever is tormenting him.

Ursula: Nice.

Sam: Come on, let's go!

(The four kids continue to follow. They eventually make it to the Stotch Residence, and they see Butters enter his house)

Sam: You guys wait here. I'm going to investigate. Maybe I can eavesdrop on Butters talking to his parents about this.

Bridgette: Alright, be careful.

(Sam sneaks up to the living room window and he sees Stephen and Linda Stotch talking to Stephen's mother, Ethel Stotch about what's going on in the family)

 **(Ethel is a portly woman in her mid-70s with brown eyes and white hair. She's wearing dark green pants, a green and white sweater with pictures of deer and mountains on it, a pink undershirt, a blue bracelet, and dark green earrings)**

Sam: (To himself) That must be Butters' grandmother.

(Inside the house, the adults are continuing their conversation)

Linda: So you visited my cousin Albert last Christmas, Ethel?

Ethel: Why yes, Linda.

Stephen: How's Albert doing, mom?

Ethel: He's doing great. New job is going great, and his daughters are doing well. One is three years old, and the other is about Butters' age, I think.

(Just then Butters comes into the living room)

Stephen: Hey, speak of the devil.

Butters: Hey, guys.

Linda: (Sees Butters black eye) Butters, what happened to your eye?

Butters: That's actually what I wanted to talk about. But, can I talk with grandma about it?

Ethel: Well sure, Butters. (She moves over for him) Come sit next to grandma and talk to her about it.

Butters: (Sits in the spot Ethel made) Uh, mom, dad, can I talk to grandma alone, please?

Stephen: Sure, Butters. We'll go make mom some tea.

Ethel: Some tea would be lovely! Thank you, son.

Stephen: We'll be back.

(Stephen and Linda go off to the kitchen and pass the living room window on the way. Sam ducks down so he's not seen, and when they go into the kitchen, Sam pokes his head back up)

Sam: (To himself) Butters' grandmother seems like a nice person. Kind of reminds me of my grandmother in a way with a love for tea and shirts with deer on them.

(Sam's good feeling goes away as soon as this happens…)

 _ **BOP!**_

(Ethel whacks Butters upside his head, and a wave of terror breaks over Sam. Ethel continues to smack Butters around as she talks)

Ethel: What's up? (Whack!) Huh? (Whack!) You think you're tough, huh? (Whack!)

Butters: (Holds up his hands in self defense) I just…don't want you to pick on me anymore, Grandma.

(Ethel just laughs at that comment. Sam, who is still watching this, is biting his nails due to a nervous reaction)

Ethel: So you really do think you're tough, huh? (Whack!) You don't look fucking tough.

Butters: Uh, I don't think I'm tough, Grandma.

Ethel: No, you're a little faggot!

Sam: (Still watching and talks to himself again) Sweet Jesus!

(The confrontation escalates even more as Ethel grabs Butters by the collar)

Ethel: Got any more money, punk? Huh?

Butters: No, you took it all!

Ethel: (Giggles to herself as she lets Butters go) I did, didn't I? (Giggles a bit more) So why don't you do something about it? (Whack!) Go on, do something you little bitch!

Butters: Grandma, I'm not going to hit you if that's what you mean. I mean, pardon me for saying this, but you're old! I won't feel good about hitting an old person. Especially if it's someone from my family.

Ethel: So you still choose to be a bitch. (Whack!) You're nothing but a little bitch, you know that: Grandma's bitch!

(Sam looks frightened, and he sees Stephen and Linda come back with some tea. He ducks back down, and pokes his head back up after they pass the window)

Linda: Here's some tea, Ethel.

Ethel: (Goes back to being kind and nice) Oh, here's the tea! (Stephen and Linda place the tea on the coffee table) Tea for me, how lucky!

Stephen: I even got you your favorite lemon bars, mom!

Ethel: My, what a treat this is.

(Sam creeps away from the window, having seen enough, and he goes back to his friends)

Kurt: So, Sam, what did you find?

Sam: We have to talk, it's serious! Come on!

(The four friends hurry off to the South Park Inn)

(Meanwhile, at South Park Laboratories, Token, Clyde, Bebe, Annie, and Red enter the building in search for Sophocles)

Bebe: Dr. Sophocles! Are you here?!

Sophocles: We're in here! You may enter.

(The five kids enter Dr. Sophocles lab, and they find him and Cody working on some kind of scythe)

Cody: Hey guys!

Bebe: (Blushes) Hey, Cody.

Cody: Nice to see you guys again. So, what brings you by?

Annie: Well, you know how we fought alongside Sir Justice last week?

Cody: Oh yeah! When we went up against NAMBLA. That was cool.

Annie: We figured what if Sir Justice would like us to help him on missions more often. You know, in case he can't do a mission alone. Plus, we owe it to him for all he's done for us.

Sophocles: Well that's nice. But why are you all here?

Annie: We want to know if you can build us some weapons for us and our friends.

Sophocles: I think I can manage. What do you want me to build?

Annie: The works: Guns, swords, claws, gauntlets, and a shit ton of other things. Just anything that you think can help us. Oh, and they have to be superpowered.

Sophocles: And how many people need these again?

Annie: If we had to guess, we'd say about 25-30?

Sophocles: How much time do you think I have for myself, kids? (He lights a cigarette, and puffs it. He turns around and thinks to himself) These kids are asking for my help, but they're asking quite a lot from me. I don't think Cody and I can handle it alone. (An idea appears in his head and he turns back to face the kids) Tell you what, kids, I'll make your weapons for you.

(The five kids get excited)

Annie: Alright!

Sophocles: However, I'm going to need your help in building them.

(The five kids excitement goes away, knowing that they have to work now)

Annie: (Begrudgingly) Okay, we'll work with you to make these weapons.

Sophocles: Excellent. With the seven of us working on these weapons, we should have them done in no time. So what are we waiting for! Let's roll up those sleeves and get to work!

(The group of seven begin their work on the weapons)

(Meanwhile, at the South Park Inn, Sam is talking with his friends about what he witnessed over some shrimp cocktails that they ordered from room service, and watching whatever is on the hotel T.V)

Bridgette: So let me get this straight, you saw Butters' grandmother beating him up?

Sam: You guys should've seen it. She was brutal, calling him names like faggot, and bitch. She was hitting him every 10 seconds. I've never felt sorrier for a person than I do right now.

Kurt: I don't know, Sam. I mean, the idea of an old lady bullying somebody is a little farfetched.

Bridgette: Yeah. My family and I volunteer at the old folks' home all the time, and they treat me like gold.

Kurt: What we're saying is that we find it hard to believe that a little old lady could be so ruthless. They're supposed to make you feel good, giving you candy, and hot chocolate, and making big feasts on Thanksgiving.

Sam: Kurt, we're not dealing with _your_ grandmother here! I can't believe you guys don't believe me.

Ursula: I believe you, Sammy boy. Evil has no age. It can affect everyone and anyone it pleases. Not only that, but the reality is this: Butters' grandmother comes from another generation, one where it was okay to beat your kids to teach them to be tough. That mentality must've stuck with her over the years, and now she's doing it to her grandson.

Sam: (Points at Ursula) Finally a voice of reason.

Kurt: If Butters' grandmother was bullying him, how would you go about stopping her?

(Suddenly, an ad appears on T.V. It features a chubby man with a bowl shape hair cut, mustache, brown pants, brown shoes, and a blue dress shirt with a red sweater vest. This man's name is Bucky Bailey)

Bucky: Are you getting harassed, teased, or even beaten up by somebody? Do you know someone who is facing a problem like this? Because if you do, you're in luck! Because Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers is here for you! We here at Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers make it a personal goal to eradicate bullying permanently. We do whatever it takes to make sure bullying disappears forever. We even do presentations at public schools we care so much! So why are you sitting around like a weak pathetic loser, when you could call us? Because at Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers, we think bullying is bull-crap! (Threatening tone) You'd better have money!

(A phone number appears on the bottom of the screen and Sam smiles, having come up with an idea)

(The next day at school, the entire school is gathered in the auditorium for an assembly. Sam is sitting in the front row of the bleachers in between Wendy and Butters. The school guidance counselor, Mr. Mackey, steps up to introduce Bucky Bailey)

Mr. Mackey: Okay, students please be seated, m'kay. Thank you all for coming to this assembly. One of our students decided to call Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers so they can do an assembly about bullying, m'kay. So it's important that you all listen to what this man has to say and not make any disruptions, m'kay. So without further ado, let's give a warm welcome to Bucky Bailey.

(The students and Mr. Mackey clap as Bucky Bailey takes center stage)

Bucky: Hey there, kids, I'm Bucky Bailey. Now, what makes a bully, you might be asking yourselves. Well, the truth is that there are more bullies at your school than you think. And the student who lets bullying happen is just as bad as the bully himself. Come on our, Lorraine.

(A chubby girl with glasses, disheveled red hair, lavender t-shirt, and orange pants that are worn too high comes from the side of the stage)

Bucky: I asked your school mate Lorraine here to help me out. So, tell me, Lorraine, are you bullied in school.

Lorraine: Of course.

Bucky: Do kids pick on you and call you names.

Lorraine: (Nods her head)

Bucky: What do they call you?

Lorraine: Mean things like fatty, and nerd.

Bucky: Really? Do they say, "Nice pants. Why do you wear them up to your tits?"

(There is an awkward silence between Bucky, Lorraine, and the audience)

Lorraine: No, they don't say things like that.

Sam: (To himself) Damn, this guy is no better than Butters' grandma!

Bucky: See, kids, bullying affects everyone. Only if the entire school is united against it can bullying ever be stopped. (He looks at Lorraine) Why are you still here? I don't need you anymore. Get out of here.

(Lorraine leaves)

Bucky: Now, I'd like to do a demonstration on how you can stop bullying. I'd like someone from the audience to come up and help me. (Nobody volunteers) I just need one of you students to come up here and help me in this demonstration. (Still nobody volunteers) What? Are you all chicken? BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! (Nobody volunteers still) Nobody wants to come up and help me? What are you? A bunch of babies? A bunch of chicken babies? (He cries like a baby and clucks like a chicken some more when suddenly)

 _ **SPLAT!**_

(Craig threw an egg at Bucky Bailey)

Bebe: Nice shot, Craig.

Craig: Hey, someone had to shut him up.

Bucky: You! (Points at Craig) You'll be my volunteer. Get your egg throwing butt down here!

(Craig begrudgingly goes down to join Bucky. As that's going on, Butters gets a text on his phone that reads, "Grammy wants to see you in the back of the school, now! (Angry face emoji)")

Butters: Oh hamburgers!

(Butters leaves the auditorium, and Sam follows him with a concerned look on his face. Sam follows Butters all the way to the nearest boys' bathroom. Butters enters it and Sam follows)

Sam: Butters, what are you doing in the boys' room.

Butters: My grandmother is coming after me! She's the one who has been bullying me!

Sam: I know. I followed you home yesterday. I saw the whole thing.

Ethel: Oh did you now?

(Sam and Butters look shocked as Ethel comes out of one of the stalls. This time, Ethel is wearing a long sleeved purple shirt and green pants)

Ethel: I knew you'd try and wuss out, Butters, you little narc. Which is why I decided to wait here until you came.

(She walks over to the door and locks it. She then walks over to a urinal)

Ethel: I heard that somebody brought in an anti-bully counselor. You thought I wouldn't find out, huh you little narc.

Butters: I didn't narc, Grandma. I swear it wasn't me.

Ethel: Well who was it then!?

Sam: It was me!

Ethel: You?

Sam: Yes me! Ethel, I believe your name is, correct? Listen, what you are doing to Butters is wrong. That's why I called in this anti-bullying counselor to get the word out, and hopefully stop this abuse! Granted, I see that was a mistake because he's just as big of a jerk as you are, but my heart was in the right place.

Ethel: Oh, your heart was in the right place, eh? You know what I do to narcs like you who have their hearts in the right place? (She grabs a urinal cake) Well look what I found, it's a narc puck! This is what narcs like you have to put in their mouths. (She looks at it) Oh, it's got piss all over it. Oh well, it'll have to do for now.

(Ethel grabs Sam by the collar of his orange undershirt and attempts to stuff the urinal cake in his mouth)

Sam: (Struggling) Stop it, you old fart! Stop it right now!

Ethel: Stop fighting it and put the puck in your mouth! Put it in your fucking mouth!

Sam: (Struggling) You think this is enough to stop me! This will only make me strong…

(Gets cut off by the sound of a door knocking. Ethel puts Sam down, puts the urinal cake back in its urinal, and opens the door to find the woodshop teacher, Mr. Adler, waiting)

Ethel: (Suddenly nice again) Oh, hello there!

Mr. Adler: Oh, sorry, but this door isn't supposed to be locked.

Ethel: I'm sorry. I needed to use the bathroom and my grandson and his little friend brought me here. Isn't that right, Butters?

Butters: (Sighs) Yeah.

Mr. Adler: Butters you goofball. I'll show you to the girls' room, ma'am.

Ethel: Thank you so much.

(Ethel follows Mr. Adler, and Sam and Butters follow after them…but not before Ethel turns around and threatens them one more time)

Ethel: If I hear that either of you narced on me again, you're fucking dead! Fucking dead, you hear me?

Mr. Adler: (From down the hall) This way, ma'am.

Ethel: Sorry, coming!

(She leaves and Sam stares after her in anger)

Butters: Sam, are you okay?

Sam: Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that something needs to be done about this old bat.

(He goes to the corner of the room and takes a bat that's latched on to the ceiling. He then opens the bathroom window and sets it free)

Sam: Be free, my little bat! You're free!

(The bat flies away and he closes the window)

Sam: Now we're going to take care of your grandmother.

Butters: How are we going to do that?

Sam: The question you should be asking is…How is _Sir Justice_ going to do that?

(Sam leaves Butters alone in the bathroom, who is twiddling his thumbs nervously)

(Later that evening, at the South Park Inn, Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula are watching T.V in their hotel room, when a knock on the door is heard. Kurt opens it and finds Sam dressed as Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: What's up, dudes?

Bridgette: Sam, why are you dressed as Sir Justice?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm going to take down Butters' grandmother and expose her for the monster she truly is!

Kurt: Oh no, not this again.

Ursula: Kurt and Bridgette still think you're overreacting, Sammy.

Sam/Sir Justice: So you still think I'm acting crazy, well prepare to think differently. Come with me!

(The four kids leave the hotel and head for Butters' house. Upon arriving to the house, the four kids head for the dining room window and peek in)

Sam/Sir Justice: Pay close attention.

Kurt: I don't get it. It seems like they're having a normal family dinner.

Sam/Sir Justice: Keep watching.

(Inside the house, the Stotchs are having dinner. Ethel and Butters are on one side of the table while Linda and Stephen are on the other. They're having ham, peas, and mashed potatoes)

(This time, Ethel is wearing her pajamas, a pair of purple pajamas that reads, "Grandma's rule.")

Ethel: Oh goodness gracious me, Linda! This is a wonderful ham you have made!

Linda: Thank you, Ethel. It's a new recipe I've been wanting to try out.

Ethel: Well, it's magnificent. I just love your cooking.

Stephen: Our Linda certainly knows her way around a pork.

(The four kids are watching this from outside)

Ursula: What he just said sounded so wrong to me.

Bridgette: We told you that you were overreacting, Sam. They're having dinner like a normal family.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sees something going on inside) Hold the fucking phone! What's going on in there?

(The four kids look inside to see Ethel grab her fork as she places it under the table and jabs Butters in the leg with it, causing him to wince in pain. The four kids gasp in shock as they continue to watch)

Butters: (Winces in pain)

Stephen: What's wrong, Butters. Are you okay?

Butters: Yeah, dad. Just a little gassy. (Ethel jabs Butters again, causing him to wince once more)

Stephen: Oh, well don't fart on Grandma. She's trying to enjoy some ham. If you can't hold it, go to the bathroom

Butters: Okay dad. (Winces again)

(Outside, the four kids continue to watch)

Bridgette: (Trying to deny it) Maybe his grandma thinks that Butters has an itch and she's trying to scratch it for him?

Kurt: Bridgette, don't deny it now! Sam was right! This old hag is hurting this kid!

(Back inside the house, the phone rings)

Stephen: I'll get it.

(He leaves his wife, son, and mother alone in the dining room)

Ethel: (Looks around the room for something when she notices a clock on the wall) I say, Linda, is that a new clock on the wall.

Linda: (Looks at it) Oh yeah! Stephen and I got that last month for our anniversary. It's from Germany, I think. Or maybe it was Austria. It's one of those two. Anyway, don't you think it's cute? I just love the adorable canary on the dial, and every hour it chimes.

(Meanwhile, as Linda is talking, Ethel picks her nose with one finger, and her ear with the other. She rubs the finger with boogers on it on Butters' mashed potatoes, while she mixes the finger with ear wax on it into his water. Butters just looks at her confused)

Ethel: (Under her breath) What?

(The four kids are still watching this outside)

Bridgette: I think I've seen enough.

Kurt: Yeah, let's get out of here.

(The four kids leave and regroup in the alley way where Sam fought Max for the first time)

Kurt: I guess you weren't lying, Sam.

Bridgette: Yeah. We're sorry we didn't believe you.

Sam/Sir Justice: It's fine. But right now, we need figure out a way to take on Ethel. That's going to be tricky. I mean, she's an old lady. What do you think will happen to Sir Justice's good name if word gets out that he beats up old ladies?

Ursula: I think you should go over there and teach her a lesson or two. Just make sure she makes the first move in your fight. It's not a crime if you beat her up in self defense, you know.

Kurt: Ursula does make a good point, Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: That's not a bad idea. Okay, I'll take her on later tonight, and I'll make sure she lands the first hit. But first, I haven't had dinner yet, and I'm in the mood for some ham sandwiches. Want to join me?

Kurt: Sure. We have some time on our hands.

Sam/Sir Justice: Excellent! To the deli!

(The four kids hurry to the deli for some dinner)

(A few hours later, at the junkyard, Damien, Justin, Trent, and Max are watching Sam/Sir Justice on Damien's crystal ball. He is running back to Butters' house to face Ethel)

Justin: Where's Sammy boy off to now?

Damien: He's going to square off with Ethel Stotch of course. (Turns to Max) Max, I don't care if Ethel wins or loses this fight. I've seen enough of her actions. She certainly does have a malicious spirit. Bring her to me so that we may use her.

Max: Yes, my master. (He flies off on his jetpack)

Damien: Everything is going exactly the way I wanted it to. Soon, Ethel will be on my side as well, and then I'll have this town, this state, this country, and then the world on its knees!

(Meanwhile, at the Stotch residence, Linda and Stephen went to sleep, Ethel is in the guest bedroom, and Butters is in his room pacing back and forth, talking to himself, trying to figure out what to do about his grandmother)

Butters: We don't have a choice, Butters. You have to defend yourself! (Switch) But violence is never the answer. Besides, Sam said that Sir Justice is going to help you. You have to trust him, Butters. (Switch) But she's going to kill you Butters! You know she is! (Switch) You're right, Butters! I don't have a choice!

(Butters ends the conversation with himself and goes to his closet to get a box that contains the costume of his supervillains alter ego, Professor Chaos)

Butters: Sorry, Grandma, but you brought this on yourself. I think it's time you met Chaos!

(Butters puts on his costume: gloves, boots, and a helmet made of tinfoil, a green cape, aluminum shoulder pads that are connected by a chain that goes across his chest, and a green tank top)

(Once Butters puts on his Professor Chaos costume, he bursts into the hallway and makes his way to the guest bedroom)

Butters/Professor Chaos: I've been pushed around for the last time! Now I'm coming, and heck's coming with me!

(Butters busts into the room and is shocked at what he sees…Ethel is wearing a supervillain outfit of her own)

(Ethel is wearing a long red cape, a skirt and bra that appear to be made of metal, black boots, black gloves, and a purple neck brace with long purple appendages sticking out of them. This is her alter ego…The Grand Mother **(Author's Note: I honestly couldn't come up with anything better)** )

Ethel/The Grand Mother: Well, look who it is: Captain Pussy! (Laughs) You can't stop me, Captain Pussy. Don't even try. For I am the Grand Mother!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Grandma? But how did you…what?!

Ethel/The Grand Mother: Oh, I got inspired when I came across that gay little costume of yours in the closet. Don't I look, wonderful? (Chuckles warmly before changing her mood) Now come on, Captain Pussy! It's time for you to get your gummy bears!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh no! No, grandma, please not…gummy bears.

Ethel/Grand Mother: Come here! (She charges at him)

(Meanwhile, outside the Stotch residence, Sam/Sir Justice finally arrives when he hears Butters' scream of terror)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (From inside the house) Grandma!

Sam/Sir Justice: Butters is in trouble! I have to get in there!

(He looks at the house across the street and sees that the owner left a ladder outside. Sam/Sir Justice grins and runs toward the house. He climbs up the ladder, opens up his wingpack, and makes a leap for Butters house)

Sam/Sir Jusitce: Wings of Heidi don't fail me now! (He takes flight)

(Back in the Stotch house, Ethel/Grand Mother has Butters/Professor Chaos pinned against a wall)

Ethel/Grand Mother: Come on! Stand up for yourself! Fight back! Be a fucking man!

Butters/Professor Chaos: But…I can't. I won't feel good about hitting an old person like you.

Ethel/Grand Mother: Once a Captain Pussy, always a Captain Pussy. Oh well, it looks like you get some gummy bears! (She removes her dentures showing her pink gums) Gummy Bears!

Butters/Professor Chaos: AHHHHH!

(Ethel/Grand Mother gnaws on his left arm)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Eww, gross!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Using his wingpack to fly into the guest bedroom) Leroooooooooooyyyyyyy Jenkiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnssss!

(He busts through the window, causing Ethel/Grand Mother to let go of Butters/Professor Chaos and turn around in his direction. She puts the dentures back in her mouth to talk properly)

Sam/Sir Justice: Enough is enough, Ethel Stotch! Time to face the music!

Ethel/Grand Mother: Who are you supposed to be? General Faggot?

Sam/Sir Jusitce: I am Sir Justice: The bane of evil's existence!

Ethel/Grand Mother: Well aren't you a precious little thing. Tell me, how would you like some GUMMY BEARS!

(Ethel tackles Sam/Sir Justice to the floor, pulls out her dentures and starts gnawing on his left arm. Unlike Butters reaction, Sam/Sir Justice begins to laugh)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Laughing) Stop it! That tickles so much! Ha! Ha! Ha! How can something so gross be so ticklish!

Ethel/Grand Mother: (Disappointed that she's not getting the desired reaction) What is happening! (Gnaws harder)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Manages to get control of himself long enough to launch a counter attack) Fist of Millie!

(He punches Ethel in the face, causing her to get off of Sir Justice. As Ethel puts her dentures back in her mouth, They get up and prepare to fight)

 **(Cue Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream)**

Sam/Sir Justice: What's up?

Ethel/Grand Mother: Oh, now you're asking for it you little shit! I have much more that a pair of gums you know! (Takes out a toy gun) Bran Flake Launcher!

(She fires a barrage of bran flake cereal)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his paint ball guns) Paintball Barrage!

(He fires a barrage of paintballs)

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')**

(The two fighters trade blows of paintball and cereal before they decide to face each other in hand to hand combat)

Ethel/Grand Mother: Grand Slam!

Sam/Sir Justice: Fist of Millie!

 **(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history (instrumentals))**

(The two fighters trade blows with each other again)

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) Damn, this old bag is more agile and resilient than she looks.

Ethel/Grand Mother: Nothing like a little hand to hand combat to loosen you up, eh, General Faggot?!

Sam/Sir Justice: You know it Grand Fucker! Justice Roundhouse!

(He round house kicks Ethel onto her bed)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh hamburgers! I've got to wake up mom and dad!

(He runs out of the room to get his parents and he lets the two continue their fight)

Ethel/Grand Mother: (Gets out of bed and takes off her cape) Cape Whip!

(Starts whipping Sam/Sir Justice with her cape like you would with a wet towel after football practice)

 **(Not enough for me to satisfy, any mistakes? Let's clarify. Let's post it to classify,  
Find your bad and BOOM BAP BAP, Do it together with my entourage, Please stick your head in the back of the garage, I'm gonna have a sale and sell you cheap, Please get out, you're out of my league! (More remixed voices and instrumentals)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, quit it, knock it off!

Ethel/Grand Mother: Yeah, how do you like those apples, punk ass bitch? Yeah, you don't like this at all, do you?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his lightsaber) Enough! Red's Blade! (He uses the lightsaber to cut her cape to ribbons)

Ethel/Grand Mother: You little brat! Did you know how long it took me to make that cape?

Sam/Sir Justice: Ask someone who cares! (He charges) Justice Jump Kick!

Ethel/Grand Mother: (Grabs Sam by the leg) No, no, no! Not in my house! (Throws him against the wall as Butters/Professor Chaos comes back with Stephen and Linda)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Check it out!

Stephen: Oh my God!

Linda: Oh my!

(Sam/Sir Justice gets up)

Sam/Sir Justice: Is that really all you've got?

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)**

Ethel/Grand Mother: Get fucked, faggot! (She charges) 250 lb Slam!

(She body slams him, but Sir Justice starts to slowly lift her up with his paintball guns)

Stephen: Whoa!

Sam/Sir Justice: Ugh! Ugh!

Ethel/Grand Mother: Give it up, General Faggot. Stop before you give yourself a hernia.

Sam/Sir Justice: I will never…stop! (He manages to lift her up over her head)

Ethel/Grand Mother: Put me down now, you little shit!

Sam/Sir Justice: How about I lift you up higher instead? (His paintball guns begin to charge up their attack) Splatter Blaster!

 **(** **Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

(He fires Splatter Blaster, causing Ethel/Grand Mother to go flying through the ceiling and out of the house)

Ethel/Grand Mother: (As she's flying out of the house) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(She lands somewhere in the woods, and as Max is flying around looking for her, he hears the commotion caused when she landed, so off to the forest Max goes)

Sam/Sir Justice: There you go, Butters. Your problems are over. Sam told me everything.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Thanks, Sir Justice.

Linda: Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on in here?

Sam/Sir Justice: Ethel was abusing your son, Mrs. Stotch. I had to do something about it.

(Linda doesn't look convinced, but Stephen says otherwise)

Stephen: Linda…he's right.

Linda: Stephen.

Stephen: She was abusive. My little brother and I were very different, I liked sports and he didn't, I was the toughest of the two of us and he was the weakest. My mother always singled him out in hopes that someday he would be strong. I wanted to say something, but I was worried that she'd target me as well. I was afraid to stand up to her as a result. I guess mom decided to try and toughen you up the same way Butters.

Butters/Professor Chaos: I guess so.

(Stephen gets on Butters' height level and stares at him face to face)

Stephen: Listen to me, Butters. When you grow up and have kids of your own, don't you ever, _ever_ , treat your kids the way grandma treated you or your uncle. Got it?

Butters: Yes sir.

Stephen: Good. We'll discuss this more tomorrow. Right now, I have to get back to bed. (Turns to Linda) You coming, honey.

Linda: Yes dear. Good night boys.

(The two adults leave the room and Sir Justice is ready to leave as well)

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry for the damages caused here.

Butters/Professor Chaos: It's okay. I'm just glad you were here to stop my grandmother before she killed me.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah. By the way, why are you wearing that?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh, this is my super villain costume, Professor Chaos. I was going to take grandma down all by myself if you weren't going to show up.

Sam/Sir Justice: Super villain alter ego? Why, someone like you is more _superhero_ than villain. Try being a hero for a change next time you put on that costume. I promise you that being a hero is more fun and rewarding than being a villain.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Alright, thanks.

Sam/Sir Justice: I must be going now. Have a good night (He leaves through the broken window and walks home)

(Meanwhile, Bebe, Annie, Red, Token, and Clyde are returning home after a hard day of working on weapons)

Clyde: (Yawn) I am so tired. Who knew working on weapons would be such hard work.

Red: I can't believe you said that we'd help Dr. Sophocles, Annie.

Annie: Hey, it's either work and get weapons, or don't work and be useless to Sir Justice. Besides, Bebe doesn't mind.

Clyde: Yeah, but that's only because she wants to see Cody again.

Bebe: No! No! I just believe in the value of hard work! It has nothing to do with Cody good attitude, smart brain, and adorable smile (Blushes and gets this face (X3))

Clyde: Whatever.

(Just then, the five kids pass Sir Justice)

Annie: Hey, Sir Justice!

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh, hello there citizens! How are you doing this fine evening?

Token: We're doing great. Just on our way home.

Annie: Listen, we want to know if you'd like some assistance whenever you go on your missions. We just got back from South Park Laboratories. We were making weapons for ourselves to use so that we could assist you in combat.

Sam/Sir Justice: Sure, why not, you guys can help me out in missions. You guys are good company. Plus, you know what they say, the more the merrier.

(The five kids get giddy)

Annie: Really! Oh boy, thank you Sir Justice! We won't let you down! Next time there's a big mission, just say the word and we'll be there for you. We even asked some of our other friends if they'd want to join in.

Red: We also asked Mr. Slave, Leon, Mr. Testaburger, Mr. Stevens, and even Dr. Sophocles, Cody, and Dr. Mephesto if they'd like a piece of the action.

Sam/Sir Justice: Like I said, the more the merrier. I love the idea of having my own team.

Annie: We're glad you like the idea.

Sam/Sir Justice: I must be heading back to the Hall of Justice, A.K.A, my house. I must bid you all aideu! Justice, out!

(He uses his wrist mounted hookshot and flies off)

Clyde: We are so in, guys.

Bebe: Totally.

(They continue to walk home)

(Meanwhile, in the woods, Ethel is knocked unconscious due to the impact of her landing. It's then that PB-01 Max finds her, and picks her up to take her to Damien)

(We then cut to nothing but black. This is Ethel's POV, and her eyes are closed. We hear Damien, Max, Trent, and Justin talking)

Justin: So this is Ethel, eh? Doesn't look special to me.

Damien: Trust me, Justin. She's as prickly as a cactus.

Trent: She's kind of old, Damien. How do you think she'll be useful?

Damien: I got this, watch. Young fun, peachy keeny, Time Reversal Spell!

(We hear a poof noise)

Trent: Well would you look at that.

Justin: I'll be the son of a gun.

Damien: Max, put this spare robe of mine on her. She's going to need it since whatever she had on before won't fit her anymore.

Max: Yes, my master.

(We hear clothes rustling and Ethel wakes up as we see her eyes open. She looks around to see the junkyard at nighttime, and she sees Justin, Max, Damien, and Trent looking at her)

Damien: Did you sleep well?

(Ethel begins to talk, but her voice sounds a lot younger)

Young Ethel: Uh, who are you? (Gets shocked with her voice) Is that _my_ voice?! What happened? Where am I?

Justin: You are in South Park Junkyard, Ethel. And as far as what happened to you is concerned, take a look.

(He gives her a shard of a broken mirror, Ethel looks into it and sees that she's 10 years old again)

(Young Ethel is much skinnier now, with actual teeth instead of dentures, she's still sporting brown eyes, her hair is now a pretty blonde color with pigtails, and she's barefoot wearing one of Damien's spare robes)

Ethel: (Shocked at her young self as we cut back to third person view) AAAAAHHHH! I'm 10 again! How did this happen!?

Max: Master Damien ordered I come find you so we can bring you here.

Damien: I did. So, you just got back from a fight with Sir Justice?

Ethel: That's right. How did you know?

Damien: My crystal ball sees everything. Anyway, you're not alone. Do you see these three who stand right next to you? Meet Trent Boyett, Justin Powers, and PB-01 Max. They too have fought Sir Justice and came up short. Now all they want is revenge. So I told them to join forces with me, and together we'll crush Sir Justice.

Ethel: And now you want me to join you, that's why you brought me here?

Damien: Exactly. So what do you say, Ethel, do you want to join us. If you join us, this whole world could be yours for the taking.

Ethel: Hmm…what the hell. Let's do it! Besides, it's been a while since I had a body quite like this one! I'll use this opportunity to give it a little test drive!

Damien: That's great news. Our circle is complete! Now, let's focus on how we're going to take on Sir Justice. Max, I think you'll be fine since you're a walking-talking armory. But then there's you three. (Thinks for a bit) Trent, you still like fire?

Trent: You know it.

Damien: Great, stay still. (Opens his spell book and conjures up another spell) Dire Fire, Pyro for Hire: I bestow upon you pyrokinesis!

(A beam of red light envelops Trent and his hands catch fire. Everytime he punches, fire balls come out)

Trent: Now this is where it's at!

Damien: Ethel, you're next.

Ethel: Do I get fire powers too?

Damien: I have something else in mind. Where there's hot, there's got to be cold. (Looks into his spell book and conjures up another spell) Breezy Freezy, Bold Cold: I bestow upon you cryokinesis!

(A beam of blue light envelops Ethel, and when she snaps her fingers, a bunch of icicles appear. She points in a certain direction and the icicles go that way)

Ethel: Now that is cool…no pun intended.

Justin: Uh, hello, what about me? Don't I get a special power?

Damien: I have something very special in store for you, Justin. Come here.

(Justin comes up to Damien)

Damien: Now open your mouth and say, "Ah!"

Justin: (Opens his mouth) Ahhh…

(Gets cut off when Damien starts feeding him a very long chain. You hear Justin coughing and gagging as the chain goes in his body. Eventually, all of the chain has entered Justin)

Justin: (Pant) What did you just do to me?

(Suddenly, Justin feels a sharp pain all over his back)

Justin: Ugh, my back! What's happening?

Damien: You'll see…

Justin: Oh! It hurts! Augh! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Eight long chains burst out of Justin's back as if they were tentacles)

Justin: Much better. (Turns around to see the chains) Whoa!

Damien: Now you can control those chains on your back to however you see fit.

Justin: (Smirks) Excellent.

Damien: Okay, we all have become stronger than we were before. Now all that's left is taking down Sir Justice once and for all. It's time for the curtain to rise on this, the climax of our little play. The resolution…the ultimate downfall of Sir Justice!

(The group of five laugh evilly as thunder crashes over the area)

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato** **.** **Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou** **.** **Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Stephen, Linda, Butters, and Sam are out posting missing posters of Ethel. They figured even though she was a piece of shit, she's still family. As they're doing that, Stephen is talking to Butters about how he witnessed his brothers' abuse and continues to lecture him about how it's not okay to beat children. Butters nods as Stephen talks)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru mo.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de.** **  
** **Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Justin and Trent are walking down the street in disguises, trying not to arouse suspicion. They are carrying bags full of groceries. As they walk, they pass Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Bebe, Heidi, Red, and Annie. Justin and Trent try and resist the urge to pounce on them. They then pass two police officers who are on patrol for them, and the two officers don't suspect a thing when passing them. Justin and Trent sigh)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Bucky Bailey is walking around down town, and he hears something coming from the alley way. He decides to check it out, and he finds Sam dressed as Sir Justice and Butters dressed as Professor Chaos. They are cracking their knuckles, ready to take him down. Before Bucky Bailey could leave the alley, Sir Justice and Professor Chaos drag him back in and beat the crap out of him)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou  
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido  
Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to  
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Sam is at the carnival with Wendy, Kurt, Bridgette, Ursula, Red, Annie, Bebe, Leon, Cody, Butters, Heidi, Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle. They get on a roller coaster, and promptly ride it, with Heidi trying to resist the urge to vomit)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte  
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo  
Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute  
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: At South Park Laboratories, Sophocles, Cody, Bebe, Token, Clyde, Annie, and Red are hard at work making weapons like swords, guns, and claws. But then there's random stuff like heat vision goggles, boxing gloves, and a boom box among other things. As they are working, Bebe is fawning over Cody, but while hammering a nail, she accidentally smashes her hand, causing some tears to pour out of her eyes. Cody grabs the first aid kit and comes to Bebe's aid. She is clearly very happy to have Cody take care of her)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: Butters is telling his story on how Sir Justice saved him to the entire school at lunch time. Everyone listens carefully and nods, as they are very interested in the story. Wendy looks over at Sam, and Sam just shrugs his shoulders at her in confusion)

 **(Samayoinagara Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo  
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: At South Park Junkyard, Justin, Ethel, Trent, and Max are training for when they face Sir Justice again. Damien is pleased with their progress)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite  
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu  
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo  
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Damien is in a dark part of the junkyard, and he gets out a piece of paper and a quill pen. He begins to write a letter, laughing maliciously as he does so)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa  
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, Wendy, Butters, and Ursula are helping Mr. and Mrs. Testaburger with setting up a party at the Testaburger Residence. Pumping up balloons, getting music ready, and getting coolers full of drinks and food. When it's done, Mr. Doug Testaburger gives everybody sodas for their hard work. They clink soda cans, and promptly drink them)

 **Question of the Chapter:** How glad are you that Sam/Sir Justice beat up Ethel, Butters' Grandma?


	5. Prologue 5: Rise of the South Park Saint

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 5: Prologue 5: Rise of the South Park Saints

 **(Author's Note: Time for the epic conclusion to the Prologue Arc! This was originally going to be a part of episode 4, but if I combined this episode with that one, then that episode would've gone on for** _ **way**_ **too long. So, I decided to split the episode up)**

(It's nighttime at the South Park Junkyard, Damien walks up to his four henchmen carrying a letter in a red envelope with a wax seal)

Ethel: Hey, what do you have in that envelope?

Damien: Just a little letter I wrote just now that basically tells Sir Justice where to meet up at for his _death_! (Laughs evilly to himself)

Max: I don't know what a letter will do. If I were you, I would've just tracked down Sir Justice myself and shoot him on sight!

Damien: Of course you would. But I have my own way of doing things. (Looks at his four minions) Now I trust you all have been brushing up on your fighting skills?

Max: Yes. In fact, I think my Disintegration Beam attack got wider and longer last time I used it in training.

Damien: Excellent. (Turns to Justin) How are those tentacles treating you?

Justin: I think I'm getting the hang of them. I should be able to whoop some ass easily now.

Damien: (Turns to Ethel and Trent) How is my pyrokinetic and cryokinetic doing?

Ethel: I'm doing wonderfully! I'm ready to freeze General Faggot into submission!

Trent: And then I'll swoop in and make sure he's nothing but a big pile of smoldering ash! My goodness it's great to be able to create fire without the use of paper or beer!

Damien: That's what I like to hear. Now, I'm going to unleash this letter to the public, and when Sir Justice reads it, he'll come running to the location requested in the letter. When he gets there, we pull out all of the stops and beat him down until he's nothing but a quivering pile of jelly. I say we make this next battle a memorable one for Sir Justice… (Kubrick stare and evil grin) because it's going to be his last!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (4 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, and Max). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(It's a bright and sunny day, and Sam is over at Wendy's house having a barbecue with his friends, both old and new. Mr. and Mrs. Testaburger are chaperoning the whole thing. Butters is having a conversation with the likes of Heidi, Token, Red, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Kyle about what happened the night Sir Justice saved him)

Craig: So your grandmother was the one who was bullying you the whole time?

Butters: Yeah, and Sir Justice saved me the other night. He blasted my grandmother right out of the house. It was totally amazing!

Heidi: Is there nothing Sir Justice can't do?

Tweek: Well, Sir Justice is a guy, so he can't menstruate.

Heidi: That was a rhetorical question.

(With Sam, he's hanging out with Bridgette, Bebe, Cody, Kurt, Ursula, Clyde, Annie, and Wendy over by the table that has all of the food)

Ursula: So Sir Justice did it again last night, huh?

Sam: Yeah. He totally saved Butters life.

Bridgette: I just can't believe that Butters' grandmother is that mean. What drives people to being mean to children like that?

Ursula: Like I said, it's most likely a generational thing. They say that abuse is passed down from each generation. Let's just hope that this Butters kid's generation is the one that ends it.

Bridgette: Yeah.

Wendy: (Looks over at Butters) Don't worry, I'm sure Butters will be fine no matter what happens.

(Suddenly, the song Love Yourself by Justin Bieber comes on the loudspeakers that Mr. Testaburger set up)

Annie: Oh, I love this song!

Kurt: (Looks over at Annie and holds out his hand) May I have this dance?

Annie: (Blushes hard) Y-yes!

Clyde: (Holds out his hand for Bridgette) May I?

Bridgette: You may.

(The four kids go out to dance as Bebe and Cody look on)

Bebe: (Looks over at Cody) Isn't that precious?

Cody: Yeah. Those guys seem good for each other. (Looks over at Bebe) Uh, Bebe, do you want to dance for a bit…

Bebe: (Blushes) Okay!

(They go out and dance too)

Sam: (Looks over at Wendy) Want to go out there and dance too, Wendy, you know, as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less?

Wendy: (Smiles and shrugs her shoulders) Sure, why not.

(They go out to dance and Ursula is left alone. Red comes up to get some food, and she deicdes to start small talk)

Ursula: 'Sup?

Red: Hey. (She looks at her hat) Cool hat. You a Texans fan?

Ursula: Yeah. What's your favorite team?

Red: Not a big sports fan.

Ursula: Yeah. Football isn't for everyone. I understand.

(She sees Red grab a hot dog, so Ursula decides to pass her the mustard)

Ursula: Mustard?

Red: Thanks. (She takes the mustard)

(Everyone is having a great time just partying, dancing, and eating some good food. Doug Testaburger is grabbing a soda from the cooler when he sees something fall from the sky: A red envelope with a wax seal. The envelope falls into the area where the kids are dancing. Sam notices the envelope, and stops dancing with Wendy to pick it up)

Wendy: What's that?

(Everyone's attention is brought to the envelope and the music stops)

Sam: It's a sealed envelope.

Kurt: Open it up, see what's inside.

Doug: I don't know, kids. It's against the law to open someone else's mail, and an invasion of privacy (Too late, Sam already starts opening the envelope) Or ignore me. Sure, that's another thing you can do. (Turns away) Go on, break government law. You don't care why should I?

(Sam takes a letter out and reads it aloud)

Sam: Dear, whoever it may concern: If you know about Sir Justice's whereabouts, then find him, and tell him to meet us at South Park Cemetery, at midnight on the dot. Not a second more, not a second less. We look forward to his visit. Signed, Anonymous.

(Everyone gets nervous)

Cody: Who would write this letter?

Cartman: I don't know, but whoever wrote it wants to see Sir Justice alone. Is this an unfair fight, like 2 against 1 or something?

Butters: It doesn't matter if he's up against 100 enemies! I know Sir Justice can do it!

Wendy: (Notices Sam is nervous) Sam, are you okay? (To herself) Sam, you don't have to do this. If you have any sense at all, drop the Sir Justice charade, and don't give yourself up to whoever wrote this letter.

Sam: Yeah, Wendy, I'm fine. Well, like I said, I know Sir Justice. I'm going to give him this letter, and tell him what he has to do. Bye!

(Sam leaves the party for his home)

Heidi: So, what's going to happen now?

Annie: I'll tell you what's going to happen. (Everyone draws their attention to her) We're going to return the favor that we owe Sir Justice, and help him fight off whoever wrote this letter!

Clyde: Wait, this is happening, right now?!

Annie: You know it is, Clyde! Sir Justice needs us now more than ever!

Butters: But, Annie, the letter said that Sir Justice comes alone. If we go, then we're breaking the rule.

Annie: In life, Butters, you'll learn that some rules are meant to be broken.

Craig: Alright, so what's the plan?

Annie: Have you all prepared your costumes?

All: Yes!

Annie: Great. Then get your costumes, and bring them to my house! Cody, head down to South Park Laboratories and grab the weapons we've been working on!

Cody: Aye, aye, captain! I'll also inform Mephesto and Uncle Sophocles that shit is hitting the fan!

Annie: Good! I'll get in contact with Mr. Slave and Leon. Bebe, I trust that you'll tell your father about what's happening.

Bebe: Yup!

Annie: Alright. You all know your jobs. Meet at my place an hour before midnight, 11:00! Let's do it!

(Everyone cheers and gets ready for the evening ahead. Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula run back to the South Park Inn)

Kurt: Sammy boy is in huge trouble! Did you girls remember to pack your costumes in case shit like this happened?

Ursula: Yeah, what about you?

Kurt: You know I did, Ursula!

Ursula: Nice!

Kurt: Get ready, girls, we might be without Justin, but four of the Houston Five is still a good team! (They speed off to the hotel to prepare for battle)

(Sometime before the battle, at about 10:30 at night, Sam stops by the church, steps into a pew, and kneels down)

Sam: (Does the sign of the cross and begins to pray) Dear God, please watch over me as I enter whatever I'm about to endure. I don't know who sent this letter, and I don't know why he wants me to meet him at the cemetery alone at midnight, but I do know that nothing good is coming from this. I just ask that you give me the strength to persevere over what awaits me at the cemetery. However, if I were to die doing this, please make my death quick and painless, and watch over the friends that I have made here in South Park. You know, make sure they are free from any evil, and make sure they live a prosperous life. That's pretty much it, God. Wish me luck.

(He does the sign of the cross and walks into the confessional booth. He comes out dressed as Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's do it!

(Sir Justice runs out of the church and heads towards the cemetery)

(Meanwhile, 11:00 P.M rolls around, and everyone meets in front of Annie's house with their costumes in hand. The people there include Stan, Kenny, Cartman, Kyle, Butters, Bebe, Heidi, Red, Token, Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Wendy, Doug, Jeffrey, Mr. Slave, and Leon. They are all waiting for Annie to come out of her house)

Stan: Well, Annie did say to meet her at her place at this time. Where is she?

(Her front door opens and she's wearing her Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes again. Yup, the tube top, wrap skirt, sandals and all. The only thing missing is her make-up, and she has a blue wingpack on her now)

Annie: What's up?

Wendy: You still have those clothes?

Annie: Yeah. Since Stupid Spoiled Whore went out of business, I wasn't going to burn these clothes. I was going to keep them and then sell them years later for big bucks. But, since we're going to be fighting with Sir Justice, I figured I'd make this my new costume. What was once a slutty outfit, is now my battle gear! Just call me the Darling Dame!

Leon: So, that's your superhero name? The Darling Dame?

Annie: I couldn't come up with anything better.

Male voice: We think that name is just fine.

(Everyone turns to see Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/Singing Angel, and Ursula/Samurai of Light, right behind them)

(Smith the Kid has a black duster coat with a brown cowboy hat covering his hair. He's wearing a white t-shirt underneath the duster with blue jeans and brown shoes)

(Singing Angel has an eye mask with a crucifix on it, and a white choir dress. She also has diamond rings on her hands)

(Samurai of Light has a plain white mask, a white and blue kimono and red sandals and white socks)

Clyde: Who are you guys?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I'm Smith the Kid! And these two ladies here are my comrades: Singing Angel and Samurai of Light! We received word that our friend Sir Justice is in trouble, so we came running all the way here to help.

Wendy: (To herself) They're friends with Sir Justice? Are they Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I guess you guys are going to help Sir Justice as well?

Token: You know it. We owe him big time after all the times he saved our hides.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Wonderful.

(Just then, Mephesto comes up in his car, and he comes out along with the Lizaroo, Sophocles, and Cody)

Cody: Weapon delivery!

(They open the trunk of Mephesto's car and they pull out crates of the weapons they've been working on)

Sophocles: Go on, everyone! There's plenty of weapons to go around!

(Everyone opens the crates and grabs a weapon)

Sophocles: (Turns to Smith the Kid, Singing Angel, and Samurai of Light) You guys can take some too if you're going to help us.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Thank you, sir. We appreciate it!

(They take weapons as well. Everyone has a weapon of some kind)

Annie/Darling Dame: Alright, now that that's done. It's time we put on our costumes and get ready to fight!

Cody: Let's do it!

Annie/Darling Dame: Right!

 **(Author's note: It's long, be ready. Also, cue Brave Heart from Digimon Adventure)**

Annie/Darling Dame: (Spins her uzis around and aims them at the camera, but not before she opens her wingpack, revealing two big blue butterfly wings with razor sharp edges) Darling Dame!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Straps a big Gatling gun on his back and puts some revolvers in his leather holsters) Smith the Kid!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Puts a microphone in her pocket, places a trumpet up her sleeve, straps some cymbals on her back, and puts on some diamond rings) Singing Angel!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Opens up two pink fans that have blades at the end of them. She closes them, and the blades merge to create two big blade) Samurai of Light!

 **(Nigetari akirameru koto wa daremo. Isshun areba dekiru kara arukitsuzukeyou. Kimi ni shika dekinai koto ga aru aoi hoshi ni. Hikari ga nakusenu you ni)**

Wendy: (Puts on her gi, black belt, head band, ties her hair into a ponytail, and a pair of red boxing gloves that allow her to hit faster. Her gloves light on fire, and she does a pose) Fuchsia Tigress!

Butters: (Puts on his Professor Chaos costume and gauntlets that give him electrokinesis) Professor Chaos!

Stan: (He strips off his hat and coat to reveal a plain white t-shirt with a red badge that has the letter T on it. He also puts on a tool belt with a bunch of tools that Dr. Sophocles custom made, straps a powerful sledgehammer across his back, and puts on safety goggles) Tool Shed!

Kyle: (Puts on some blue sweat pants and kite t-shirt with shoulder pads underneath, as well as gray netting with a big kite stitched to it. The netting has a hole in it so that he can see and breathe. He finally puts on a pair of heat vision goggles Dr. Sophocles made) Human Kite!

 **(Tsukame! Egaita yume wo. Mamore! Daiji na tomo wo. Takumashii jibun ni nareru sa. Shiranai pawaa ga yadoru haato ni hi ga tsuitara. Donna negai mo uso ja nai Kitto kanau kara...show me your brave heart)**

Kenny: (puts on a gray jump suit with a green letter M on it, and puts some briefs over the. He wraps a belt around the jump suit, and puts on brown boots, green gloves, and a dark purple cloak that covers his hair and some of his face. On the top of the cloak is a green question mark symbol) Mysterion!

Cartman: (Puts on a raccoon mask with raccoon ears and metal claws, a utility belt, and a red cape with the letter C on it, a raccoon tail, a white shirt with a capital C, and a gray jacket with gray pants) The Coon!

Heidi: (Puts on a pair of yellow cat ears, a cat mask, yellow cat paws with metal claws on both her feet and hands, a yellow furry cat costume with a white belly, and a yellow tail) Fatal Feline, meow!

Bebe: (Puts on a big red bow on the back of her head as well as a white button up shirt with the Stevens family crest on the left shoulder, a blue miniskirt, black socks that go up to her thigh, and white shoes. Her weapons of choice include a bag full of swords and knifes that's strapped to her back, and a flute that turns into a double lightsaber) Sharp Edge Stevens!

Red: (Puts on some silver knight's armor, sans for a helmet. She has a shield strapped to her back, as well as a sword, a quiver that carries tons of arrows, and two cross bows) Madame Knight!

 **(Hare no hi bakari ja nai kara tama ni. Tsumetai ame mo furu keredo kasa hirogeyou. Ikikata ni chizu nanka nai kedo dakara jiyuu. Doko e datte yukeru, kimi mo)**

Token: (Puts a big plastic jug on his head, a blue shirt with plastic sleeves, metal gloves, a gray cape, red shoes, and a yellow utility belt that holds canisters full of strange substances. He straps a strange contraption on his back that connects to the plastic jug on his head) Tupper Wear!

Clyde: (Puts on a red and yellow striped wool hat, a wingpack that opens up as mosquito wings, a sharp and long stinger on his nose, brown pants, black shoes, red gloves, a blue sweater, and a bunch of mosquito robots attached to said sweeter. Some a black and some are brown) Mosquito!

Tweek: (Puts on a male cheerleader outfit that consists of a yellow sweatband, white pants with yellow stripes that go down the leg, a white shirt with yellow on the shoulders and the number 31 on the front and back of it, and white and yellow shoes. He has a giant yellow megaphone, a confetti launcher, pom-poms, and a fireworks launcher) Peppy Prince!

Craig: (Puts on a blue cap with a yellow brim backwards, black pants, a blue thank top with a yellow lightning bolt on, white sneakers, and a cold chain. His weapon of choice is a boom box that can shoot missiles, and they can transform into armor for his arms (Kind of like Nathan Copeland from No More Heroes 2)) DJ C-Rage!

 **(Hashire! kaze yori hayaku. Mezase! sora yori tooku. Atarashii jibun ni aeru sa Shiranai yuuki ga nemuru haato ni ki ga tsuitara. Mune no naka no doshaburi mo** **  
** **Kitto yamu kara...show me your brave heart)**

Cody: (Puts on a suit that consists of black dress pants, black dress shoes, a white long sleeve dress shirt underneath a blue vest, white gloves, a black top hat, a staff with a ruby on it, and strapped to his back is a katana) Mr. Gentleman!

Mr. Slave: (Puts on a straw hat, some denim overalls, brown gloves, and brown boots. His weapons include a chainsaw, a bag full of seeds, and small handheld rakes) Glamorous Gardener!

Jeffrey: (Puts on a Revolutionary War soldier costume that consists of black boots, beige pants, a long blue coat, a white vest underneath, and a revolutionary patriots hat with a blue feather. His weapons consist of a musket and a rapier) Sgt. Stevens!

Doug: (Puts on a blue gi with a black belt, a black headband, and blue boxing gloves that have the same abilities as Wendy's, except instead of fire power coming from the glove, he has ice power) Cerulean Viper!

Leon: (Takes off his shirt, keeping only his blue jeans and black shoes, and places a wolf pelt on himself. The pelt covers his back and is made so that his face is in the pelt's mouth. The pelt also has slots on the paws for Leon to stick his hands in. The paws have metal claws as well, and blue pads on the back of them) Beo-Wolf! AWOOOOOOOO!

Sophocles: (Still wearing his usual clothes as he spins a silver scythe around, the same scythe he was working on last episode, and smoking a cigarette) Dr. Sophocles!

Mephesto: (Watches Lizaroo do poses and gets ready to fight) Lizaroo!

 **(Tsukame! mabushii asu wo. Mamore! ai suru hito wo. Takumashii jibun ni nareru sa** **  
** **Kowase! yowaki na kimi wo. Kuzuse! butsukaru kabe wo. Atsui kodou buki ni naru kara Believe in your heart!)**

Annie/Darling Dame: Together, we all form the organization known as…The South Park Saints!

All Saints: YEAH!

Annie/Darling Dame: Sir Justice has saved us all one way or another from some sort of turmoil. Vengeance seeking bullies, lustful rapists, psychotic robots, and abusive relatives. Now it's our turn to help him. Let's go down to that cemetery and save our savior!

All Saints: YEAH!

Annie/Darling Dame: Forward march!

(The 25 newborn heroes begin to make their way to South Park Cemetery for the fight of their lives. As that's going on, Millie and Kevin come out of their houses to watch this)

Kevin: What do you think is happening, Millie?

Millie: I don't know. But it must be something big if they're talking about helping Sir Justice.

Kevin: Should we check it out?

Millie: You bet!

Kevin: Should we take pictures and record video and maybe give it to the news?

Millie: You know it!

Kevin: Let's do it!

(The two kids hurry to find some cameras as the South Park Saints hurry to the cemetery)

(At South Park Cemetery, Sam/Sir Justice runs into it fast with the speed boots Cody gave him. He stops once he arrives at the center of the cemetery. Nothing around him but gravestones and crypts, a full moon in the cloudless starry sky, as fog begins to slowly roll in. Sam/Sir Justice was actually getting scared, feeling very alone and isolated. Questions began to arise in his head: Who am I meeting? Why did he want me to come alone? Why did he want to meet me here of all places, and at this time? Sam/Sir Justice looks at his watch to see that it's 12:00 on the dot)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Starts calling into the distance) Hello! It's 12:00 midnight! I'm here alone like you wanted! Come out wherever you are…whoever you are!

(He continues to look around the area for the person that wanted to meet him…and eventually, a voice comes from behind him. It's Damien.)

Damien: Hello, Sir Justice…(Sam/Sir Justice gets startled and turns around to look at Damien). Or should I say, Samuel Cooper.

Sam/Sir Justice: Wha- How do you know my name! Who are you?

Damien: I am Damien Thorn, son of the devil! I've been monitoring you since the day you first set foot in this town and donned that costume of yours. Not only that, but one of my new henchmen told me a lot about you. Like your birthday is November 19, your favorite movie genre is the superhero genre, and your favorites are a three-way tie between The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, and X-Men: Days of Future Past, your dream vacation is Tokyo, Japan, your favorite genre of music is rock n' roll, I could go on and on.

Sam/Sir Justice: Who is this henchman! Where you getting this information from?

Justin: (Appears behind him) Hey there, Sammy boy!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns around and sees his new chain tentacles) J-Justin! What happened to your back!?

Justin: You like it? Old Damien here fed me a very long chain, and now I have these! And the best part (He uses his chains as wings) I can fly with these babies! (He flies over to Damien's side as Sam/Sir Justice is petrified in absolute fear)

Damien: He's not the only one on my side. I have three more!

(Max floats downward to Damien's side)

Damien: You remember PB-01 Max, right?

Max: Ah, the self proclaimed perfect boy, Sir Justice! We meet again, just like I knew we would.

Damien: Trent Boyett!

(A puff of smoke appears in front of Sam/Sir Justice and Trent comes out of it)

Trent: Good to see you again, Sir Jerk-stice! (Runs to Damien's side)

Damien: And last, but most certainly not least, the new and improved Ethel Stotch!

(Young Ethel Stotch comes riding down on a giant snowflake glider and lands next to Damien)

Sam/Sir Justice: Ethel, is that you?!

Ethel: Well if it isn't General Faggot again!

Damien: All of the enemies that you've defeated previously have joined forces with me. I wanted you to come here alone so that we wouldn't have any interruptions when we beat the shit out of you.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Tries to look intimidating, but is really scared) Big deal, I kicked all of your butts once already! I can do it again!

Damien: That may be true, but you only faced them when they were alone, not when they were together. Not only that, but I gave most of them a dose of Damien magic, and they have powers that not even you can comprehend!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Breaks out in a cold sweat) Bring it on!

Damien: You're scared. I know you are. You're trying to act tough, but you're nothing but a little, oh what's the word?

Ethel: Pussy?

Max: Wimp?

Justin: Chicken?

Trent: Big baby?

Damien: How about all of the above!

(The five villains laugh and Sam/Sir Justice sweats even more)

Damien: I'm going to leave this joker up to you four. Play nice!

(In a puff of smoke, Damien disappears, leaving Sam/Sir Justice alone with his rivals)

Justin: So, Sammy boy, shall we begin this little rematch?

Sam/Sir Justice: Bring it on!

Trent: Okay then. I'll go first! (He conjures up a giant fireball from his bare hands) Fireball Blast!

(He fires it)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's boots, activate!

(He runs away from the fireball as Justin gives chase on his chain wings. Justin flies after him and he catches up. When he catches up to Sam/Sir Justice, he takes out his ball and chain)

Justin: Heavy Slam!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Stops running) Annie's Shield!

(Justin throws it down on him, but not even the shield as enough to protect him as the impact knocked Sam/Sir Justice back. Ethel catches up to him and forms a giant ice pillar above Sam/Sir Justice to crush him)

Ethel: Ice Pillar!

Sam/Sir Justice: Wings of Heidi!

(He opens his wingback and glides across the ground to avoid the attack, but Ethel creates more ice pillars to trip Sam/Sir Justice up. They come from every which way. Eventually, one that came from the ground hits him and sends him up skyward. Max then flies up after him. Once Max reaches the top, he opens up his chest cannon and Sir Justice gasps)

Max: Disintegration Beam!

(Sir Justice jumps off of the ice pillar before he fires the attack. The attack lit up the night sky, and the South Park Saints, who were miles away from the cemetery saw the blast fire through the sky)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Uncle Sophocles, was that Max's Disintegration Beam?

Sophocles: I think it was.

Stan/Tool Shed: It came from South Park Cemetary!

Annie/Darling Dame: Damn, that means Max must be there fighting Sir Justice! We have to hurry!

(The saints run at top speed to the cemetery)

(Back at the cemetery, Sam/Sir Justice is still fighting the good fight as he lands back on the ground from that ice pillar, but Trent, Ethel, and Justin are running up to him)

Trent: (Inhales and breaths out fire) Ultimate Dragon Breath!

Ethel: Icy Breath! (Breaths out an icy wind)

Justin: (One of his chain tentacles sharpens like a knife) Chain Stab! (He launches it at Sam/Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Dodges out of the way and takes out his uzis) Bebe's Bullets!

(He fires them at the trio, but Justin makes a move)

Justin: Chain Block! (He uses his 8 chain tentacles to protect him and his allies from the bullets)

Max: (Comes from behind Sir Justice with his lightsaber) Superior Slash!

(Sam/Sir Justice stops firing to quickly duck down. Max's lightsaber hits the ice pillar and it comes crashing down. The five fighters jump out of the way of the falling ice pillar. At first Sam/Sir Justice lands to safety, but then…)

Justin: (Wraps his chain tentacles around Sir Jusitce) Chain Capture!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gasps)

Justin: Time for you to take one nasty ride!

(He throws Sam/Sir Justice up in the air, causing him to scream in fear. Max flies upward and catches up to Sam/Sir Justice)

Max: Mechanical Heel!

(Max hits Sam/Sir Justice with the heel of his foot, causing him to come crashing back to Earth. Sam/Sir Justice slowly gets up only to have Trent appear in front of him)

Trent: Fire Punch!

(Trent hits Sam/Sir Justice in the face with his fiery fist, and he goes flying towards Ethel)

Ethel: Freezing Kick!

(Ethel hits Sam/Sir Justice with her icy foot, and he goes flying towards Justin)

Justin: Chain Push!

(His chain tentacles hit Sir Justice in the stomach, and he goes flying towards Max)

Max: Automaton Punch!

(Max's Automaton Punch hits Sir Justice in the face causing in to collapse on the cold ground. Sam/Sir Justice is bruised and bleeding. He gets on one knee and looks at the four villains that stand before him)

Ethel: Pathetic. I expected more of a challenge from a schmuck like you.

Max: You lost this fight the moment you set foot in this cemetery.

Justin: It looks like those friends that I've heard so much about from Damien can't save you now, Sammy boy!

Trent: Let's deliver the finishing blow, everyone.

Justin: Right!

(They all prepare their final attacks)

Justin: So long, Sammy boy! Chain Stab! (Chains charge at Sir Justice)

Trent: Ultimate Dragon Breath! (Breathes fire)

Max: Perfect Gatling! (Fires his bullets)

Ethel: Icicle Storm! (Fires her icicles)

(Sir Justice shuts his eyes, expecting pain and misery…but nothing happened. Sam opens his eyes to find Red/Madame Knight using her shield to block the attacks)

Sam/Sir Justice: Red, is that you?

Red/Madame Knight: That's Madame Knight to you, Sir Justice!

(He looks to see the rest of the South Park Saints coming to his aide)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Hey, boss!

Annie/Darling Dame: We're here to help you, Sir Justice!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: That's right, dude! We're ready to fight until the bitter end!

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) It's my friends…everyone that I've helped since I got to South Park. They're here, and ready to defend me! (Turns to the four villains as he continues to think to himself) But these four are too strong for them. They're going to get themselves killed! (Out loud) Guys, these four are too strong! Fall back! I don't want you all to get hurt!

Clyde/Mosquito: So what if we get hurt!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Yeah, you've thrown yourself into the face of danger for us numerous times. So guess what, it's our turn now.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Points at the four villains) You jerks better prepare for a world of hurt!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: That's right! We're gonna eff you up! Meow, meow!

Trent: My, my, my. Someone is seeming rather confident in their abilities to beat us. Okay, we'll fight you all. But only because you all demand it.

Ethel: That's right! (Turns to Butters/Professor Chaos) Captain Pussy is mine!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Surprised to see Young Ethel) Grandma?! Is that you?

Ethel: You bet it's me, dipshit! (She walks up to him and gets in his face) So, you still think you're hot shit coming up in here with your posse? Huh, do you honestly think you're tough, motherfucker?

Butters/Professor Chaos: I just want to remind you, Grandma, that the reason I refused to fight you was because you were old, and I wouldn't feel good about hitting an old person…

Ethel: Still with the pussy routine?! God, you're weak!

Butter/Professor Chaos: Here's the thing, though…You're not old anymore, are you?

Ethel: Uh, no?

Butters/Professor Chaos: LIGHTNING JAB!

(Butters/Professor Chaos' right gauntlet starts to glow and spark. He hits Ethel with the fist, and knocks her on her ass, surprising everyone)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Holy shit!

Butters/Professor Chaos: On the one hand, that felt really good. But on the other hand, OH HAMBURGERS I JUST HIT A GIRL!

Ethel: (Gets up quickly) Yes! Yes! YES! This is what I've been praying for! My dearest grandson being a man and fighting back! I'm proud of you! Now give me more! (She charges at him) Bitter Cold Fist!

(Butters/Professor Chaos dodges and hits Ethel again with this Lightning Jab attack, knocking Ethel on her ass again)

Ethel: (Gets up again) Oh yeah, now we're talking! (She jumps up, and dropkicks Butters/Professor Chaos, knocking him to the ground) Get up, Get up! This fight is just beginning, Captain Pussy!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Bring it on, skank! (Turns to his comrades) I'll handle this bitch, you guys split the other three amongst yourselves.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'll help out as much as I can. (He slowly gets up)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: No, Sir Justice. You're very badly hurt. Just sit back, relax, and watch us take these fools down!

Trent: Okay, let's see what you got! (Turns to Stan/Tool Shed, Cartman/Coon, Kenny/Mysterion, and Kyle/Human Kite) I'll take you four on! So let's go, once and for all! Let's end this!

(Leon/Beo-Wolf and Ursula/Samurai of Light step up)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Not if we have anything to say about it! You're going down!

Leon/Beo-wolf: That's right. Consider this beat down payback for that Texas Chili Bowl!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Turns to him) What's that?

Leon/Beo-wolf: You don't want to fucking know!

Justin: (Turns to Fuchsia Tigress, Sharp Edge Stevens, Darling Dame, Fatal Feline, and Madame Knight) These little white rabbits are mine!

Annie/Darling Dame: Let's go, big boy!

Justin: You know what, girls? After spending some time in prison, it made me realize that I don't care about a harem anymore…I just want you bitches dead!

(Mr. Gentleman, Glamorous Gardener, Cerulean Viper, Sgt. Stevens, and Smith the Kid face him)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Is that anyway to talk to a lady? Honestly.

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Seriously, Jesus Christ, boy! Have some manners!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: We're ready to defend our girls, no matter what happens!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: That's right. If you want to harm these girls, then you're going to have to get through us!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah!

Justin: 10 against 1, eh? No matter, I'll take you all down in one shot!

Max: (Turns to Dr. Sophocles) It's time to finish what we started, old man! I'm going to destroy you!

(DJ C-Rage, Peppy Prince, Mosquito, Tupper Wear, Mephesto and Lizaroo, and Singing Angel step up to face him)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Not if we have anything to say about it!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: We won't have you hurting the good doctor, not on our watch!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yeah, you want to throw down you big mechanical mess, well put up your dukes!

Max: (Smirks) With pleasure!

(As this is going on, Millie and Kevin arrive to the cemetery, and they set up on a hill that's not too far from where the battle is taking place, they pull out a photo camera and a video camera)

Millie: We made it! And just in time too! (Starts recording) Make sure you get good photos, Kevin.

Kevin: (Prepares the camera lens) Only if you get good video.

Millie: Yup.

(Back to the fight at hand)

Justin: So, shall we play?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah, let's play!

(The South Park Saints, sans for Sir Justice because of his injuries, charge into battle, ready to face off against their chosen adversary)

 **(Tool Shed, Coon, Mysterion, Human Kite, Samurai of Light, and Beo-Wolf vs. Trent)**

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Boys, surround him!

Boys: Got it!

(The six kids surround Trent)

Trent: You think that scares me? Guess what, it doesn't!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Maybe this will help! Blossom Storm!

(A bunch of cherry blossoms pour out of her sleeves, and they surround Trent, making it hard for him to see)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: He's all yours! Who wants first crack at him?

Cartman/Coon: Ladies first!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Fine then!

(She charges into the blossom storm, catching Trent off guard)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Love Smack!

(She smacks him around with some regular fans, not her blade fans, before kicking him out of the storm where Mysterion was waiting for him)

Kenny/Mysterion: Mystery Lob!

(He punches Trent in the back, causing him to go flying in the air, and land on the ground with a thud)

Trent: Enough of this! Ultimate Dragon Breath!

(He fires his fire breath, and Tool Shed jumps in front of the fire. He spins his sledgehammer around and blows the flames away)

Stan/Tool Shed: Here I come, Drill Launcher!

(He fires a drillbit from the power drill, and nails Trent right in the shoulder, causing it to bleed)

Kenny/Mysterion: Nice shot there!

Stan/Tool Shed: Thanks.

Trent: You think that hurts me! You know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Fireball Blast!

(He fires a fireball at Mysterion and Tool Shed so fast, they have no time to react, so they get hit)

Trent: Awesome!

Human Kite/Kyle: Hey, asshole! You like fire do you? Well try this on for size! 1,000 Degree Stare!

(He flies up in the air and fires his heat vision goggles down at Trent, who jumps out of the way just in time. However, Trent jumps right into Coon and Beo-Wolf's line of vision and they attempt to his him with his claws)

Coon/Cartman: Raccoon Claws!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Wolf Claws!

(Before they have a chance to touch him, Trent counterattacks with a fast kick)

Trent: Blazing Kick!

(He kicks the two boys away from him)

Trent: You guys are putting up a good fight, but I'm just better at holding my own that you all are!

 **(Fuchsia Tigress, Sharp Edge Stevens, Darling Dame, Fatal Feline, Madame Knight, Mr. Gentleman, Cerulean Viper, Glamorous Gardener, Smith the Kid, and Sgt. Stevens vs. Justin)**

Justin: (His 8 chain tentacles gain sharp ends as he takes out two more chains form his pockets with knives at the end of them) Chain Stab!

(He throws the 10 chains at the 10 fighters, who dodge out of the way)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You like playing with sharp edges, do you? Then do I have a surprise for you (Reaches into her bag for some knives). Knife Toss!

(She throws 10 knives, and Justin uses one of his tentacles to knock the attack away)

Justin: You're going to have to try harder than that if you want to beat me my little bunny rabbit!

(He hears Glamorous Gardener charge at him with his chainsaw)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Slash!

(Justin blocks the attack with all 8 of his chain tentacles, but Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener is still trying to push through his defense)

Justin: I've got to admit, old man, you have quite the amount of fighting spirit in you! (Fuchsia Tigress and Cerulean Viper appear behind him)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Thanks. But you can't give me all of the credit. I had a little help from my friends!

(He jumps out of the way for Fuchsia Tigress and Cerulean Viper to attack)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress & Doug/Cerulean Viper: Father-Daughter Combo!

(They both punch him hard in the back with their ice and fire boxing gloves, causing Justin to go flying up in the air)

Red/Madame Knight: I got it! I got it! Arrow Capture! (She takes one of her arrows and ties a rope the end of it, and places it on her crossbow) Go!

(She fires it and the arrow wraps around Justin with the rope. Without missing a beat, Red/Madame Knight grabs onto her end of the rope and throws Justin down to the ground hard)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Good one!

(Justin gets up and breaks free from the rope, he then gets very angry)

Justin: FUCK YOU! (His chain tentacles extend and he captures everyone except Bebe and Cody)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Readies his katana) Hang on, guys!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Relax, I've got this! (She takes out 8 swords from her bag of blades and throws them at the chains that are holding her comrades) Blade Storm! (The blades are so sharp that they break the chains and set her friends free)

Annie/Darling Dame: Excellent job, Bebe!

Justin: You think that hurts me? Look at what I can do! (The cut off part of his chains grow back) You can cut me down as much as you want, but my chains will always grow back! (Laughs evilly)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: You've laughed one time too many, bud! (Grabs his Gatling gun) Wild Wild Gatling! (He fires it)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Joins him and grabs his musket) Mighty Musket! (Fires big "bullet bill" like projectiles at Justin)

Annie/Darling Dame: Bullets of the Rising Sun! (Fires explosive bullets from her uzis)

Justin: Chain Block! (He blocks all of three of the attacks with his chain tentacles, and ends up unscathed) You can't beat me! With my chains I have the perfect offense _and_ defense!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: That's what you think (She starts to run up to him on all fours like a cat)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Is it me, or does Heidi actually believe she's part cat!?

Justin: (Watches at Heidi advances) Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Chain Stab! (He tries impale her with his chain tentacles, but she dodges them all and takes out a big ball of red yarn)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Meow! Here we go! Kitten's Yarn Ball! (She throws the yarn ball and it explodes, causing Justin to get all tied up in yarn) Hurry, while he's distracted! Someone hit him!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I'll get him! (He runs up fast with his staff) Staff of Nobility!

(He hits Justin hard on the head with his staff, knocking him unconscious. Cody runs back to his friends)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Did we beat him?

(Justin quickly gets back up)

Justin: (Growls) That wasn't very… _NICE!_

Annie/Darling Dame: Oh boy, he's mad!

Red/Madame Knight: (Sarcastically) Really? What was your first clue?!

 **(Dr. Sophocles, Singing Angel, DJ C-Rage, Tupper Wear, Mosquito, Lizaroo, and Peppy Prince vs. PB-01 Max)**

Max: (Flies up high in the air and prepares his missile attack) Magnificent Missiles!

(He fires his missile attack at the seven fighters, but DJ C-Rage readies his boom box)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Treble Torpedoes! (Missiles come flying from his boom box)

(The two missile attacks collide and create a ball of smoke in the sky that separates the fighters with Max. DJ C-Rage has his boom box morph into armor for his arms. He jumps through the smoke cloud and faces Max)

Max: What?!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Boom Bop!

(He punches Max in the face and he goes careening towards the ground. When Craig lands back with his team, Max gets back up)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Damn, he's still alive!

Max: And kicking!

Token/Tupper Wear: Allow me to fix this mistake! (From his utility belt, he grabs a canister full of a red substance) Volatile Volley!

(He throws the canister at Max)

Max: Pathetic! (He whips out his lightsaber) Superior Slash!

(He hits the canister with his lightsaber…only for the canister to explode on contact and send Max flying backwards. Despite the power of the explosion, Max is still fighting on)

Max: It'll take a lot more than a bunch of explosions to take me down! But you know what they say, do unto others what they do unto you! Power Grenade!

(He fires a Power Grenade from his arm cannon, and Bridgette pulls out her trumpet)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Trumpet of the Gods!

(She blows into it, and a ball of green energy forms at the bell of the trumpet. She pushes down on the valves and lets the ball of energy lose. The two balls of energy collide, creating another explosion)

Max: You're all beginning to get on my nerves!

Clyde/Mosquito: Good! (He grabs some of his black mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush!

(The black mosquito robots fly through the smoke and latch onto Max. They glow red for a bit and then explode)

Clyde/Mosquito: That should've done something!

(The smoke from the explosion clears, and Max is still standing)

Clyde/Mosquito: Impossible!

Max: I already told you. It's going to take a lot more than explosions to defeat me!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: I have an idea! Dr. Sophocles come here! (He whispers his plan into his ear

Dr. Sophocles: Got it!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Alright, here we go! (Takes out his confetti launcher) Confetti Cannon!

(He fires a big ball of confetti at Max, covering him in a cloud of smoke and confetti)

Max: What are you all up to now?

(Suddenly, Dr. Sophocles bursts out of the smoke ready to hit Max with his scythe)

Dr. Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing!

(Max dodges the attack and jumps out of the confetti cloud. Dr. Sophocles is still trying to hit Max with everything he has, but every time he swings his scythe, Max ends up dodging it)

Max: Gotta try harder, old man! Automaton Punch! (He punches Dr. Sophocles away from him)

(As Max is laughing victoriously, Lizaroo takes a swing with his powerful tongue, knocking Max on his ass)

Mephesto: Nice one, Lizaroo! Now use Kangaroo Kick!

(Lizaroo runs up to Max just as he's getting up and kicks him with such force that it sends him flying across the cemetery. When Lizaroo catches up to Max, Mephesto tells it to use another attack)

Mephesto: Bouncy Pounce Attack!

(Lizaroo jumps up and down on Max multiple times, Max is getting very annoyed as he manages to slip away from Lizaroo's attack)

Max: Genetic trash! (Takes out his lightsaber) Superior Slash!

(He cuts Lizaroo in half, killing him)

Mephesto: Lizaroo, No! (Starts tearing up) I'll never forget you, my perfect fighting machine.

Max: (Turns to his opponents) You can't beat me! With great skills in combat and very defensive armor, there's no way I could ever lose!

 **(Butters/Professor Chaos vs. Ethel)**

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Jab!

(He punches Ethel in the chest with his electrified punch)

Ethel: Bitter Cold Fish!

(She punches Butters in the shoulder with her freezing cold punch. The two fighters trade blows with each other as they have a conversation)

Butters/Professor Chaos: You know something Grandma (Punch)?

Ethel: What is it, Captain Pussy (Punch)?

Butters/Professor Chaos: My dad told me about how you treated Uncle Bud when he was growing up (Punch).

Ethel: Yeah, he was a weak little faggot just like you (Punch)!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Why do you treat your own family like this (Punch)!?

Ethel: I just wanted to see my son and my grandson grow strong and be real men, just like your grandfather! (Punch) Now he was one tough man. He fought in WWII, you know (Punch)! I wanted to see you all reach the same level of toughness (Punch)!

Butters/Professor Chaos: I see…what a bullshit reason to abuse your own family (Punch)!

Ethel: What do you know (Punch)? You don't have kids of your own, so I don't want to hear you fucking talk (Punch)!

Butters: Guess what else, Grandma (Punch)?

Ethel: What is it now (Punch)?

Butters/Professor Chaos: My dad told me how I should never treat people like you treated me and Uncle Bud. But you know what, beating you down like this feels kind of good (Punch)!

Ethel: Oh does it now (Punch)?

Butters/Professor Chaos: That's right (Punch)! However, the fact that I'm resorting to violence is leaving a dark and empty feeling inside (Punch)! This must be how you feel all of the time!

Ethel: How do you figure, Captain Pussy (Punch)! Enlighten me!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Since you arrived here, I've been getting lots of advice on how to deal with you (Punch). But then, I realized that there are schmucks just like you out there all over the place (Punch)! When you're a kid, things seem like they're going to last forever, but they're not (Punch)! For example, you won't always be around because someday, you're going to die (Punch)!

Ethel: WHAT (Punch)!? I'll never die you little brat! Especially since I'm now at the same age as you thanks to Damien (Punch)!

Butters/Professor Chaos: You and me being at the same age level doesn't mean anything (Punch)! And let me tell you something, when you wind up laying on your death bed for whatever reason, I just want to let you know that I'll come and visit you…just to show you that I'm still happy (Punch)! And meanwhile, you'll die being nothing but you.

(This enrages Ethel)

Ethel: _ENOUGH!_ (She snaps her fingers and icicle come out of nowhere) Icicle Storm!

(She points towards Butters and the attack comes flying right at him)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Forms balls of electricity from his fingertips) Electro Ball!

(The attacks collide, creating a wall of smoke. Ethel bursts through the smoke cloud as she rides through on her snowflake glider. She jumps off and prepares another attack)

Ethel: Bitter Cold Fist!

(She punches Butters so hard that he goes flying to where Sir Justice is resting)

 **(The fight with Trent)**

Trent: (Inhales) Steam Blow!

(He blows a hot blast of steam at Tool Shed, Mysterion, Human Kite, Coon, Samurai of Light, and Beo-Wolf. The blast is so strong that they go flying to where Sir Justice is resting)

 **(The fight with Justin)**

Justin: (Takes out all of the chains from his pockets, including his ball and chain. These chains plus the ones on his back equal up to about 30 chains) Chain Whirlwind!

(He spins around and the chains hit his 10 opponents so hard they go flying to where Sir Justice is resting)

 **(The fight with PB-01 Max)**

(DJ C-Rage, Dr. Sophocles, Peppy Prince, Tupper Wear, Mosquito, Mephesto, and Singing Angel charge at him)

Max: Automaton Spin Kick!

(He spin kicks all 7 opponents so hard they go flying to where Sir Justice is resting, now all of the South Park Saints are down for the count. Kevin and Millie are still on the hill recording and taking photos)

Kevin: I don't think they're winning.

Millie: No, they are absolutely not winning.

(Justin, Trent, Max, and Ethel come back together to look at our heroes)

Justin: (Laughing) You guys picking a fight with the likes of us is like a mouse picking a fight with a hawk! Why don't you all do yourselves a favor and go home, lick your wounds, and don't even think about facing us in a fight again.

Annie/Darling Dame: (Slowly gets up as does everyone else) We'll never give up! Never surrender!

(Everyone else slowly gets up)

Ethel: Me oh my! These little shits are persistent, aren't they?

Trent: That's okay. It just means they have a death wish!

Max: Please, allow me to finish these imperfect fools off!

Trent: Go for it!

Max: (His chest cannon opens up begins to charge up an attack) This is the end! Goodbye!

(Sam/Sir Justice looks at Max as he charges up his attack)

Max: Disintegration Beam!

(He fires the beam right at them, and when the attack ends, Sir Justice and the South Park Saints are gone)

Max: (Closes his chest cannon and smiles)

Justin: Game over, chumps!

Ethel: Oh, ho, ho! Damien is going to be very pleased with our work, I just know it!

(Suddenly, she feels something hit the back of her head. It's one of Sir Justice's paintballs)

Ethel: (Wipes the paint from the back of her hand) What is this?!

Sam/Sir Justice: Surprise, bitches!

(The four villains turn around to see Sir Justice and the South Park Saints perched up on top of a tree that's behind them)

Max: WHAT!? But I saw it! I finished you losers off!

Sam/Sir Justice: That's what you think…

 **(Flashback to the moment Max fired his Disintegration Beam)**

Sam/Sir Justice (v.o): But you forgot that I have Cody's Speed Boots on my side. Before you had a chance to fire your attack, I activated my speed boots, and managed to get everyone to safety before the attack reached us!

(In the flashback, we see Sam/Sir Justice activate his speed boots as time comes to a complete stand still. One by one, Sam/Sir Justice grabs all of the South Park Saints and puts them up in a tree, starting with Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress and ending with Butters/Professor Chaos. Once everyone is in the tree safe and sound, Sam/Sir Justice heads up the tree himself…but not before he takes a selfie in front of the beam and does a victory pose)

 **(End of flashback)**

(Kevin and Millie are watching this from their spot on the hill)

Kevin: Impressive.

(Back with the heroes and villains)

Sam/Sir Justice: See, we're like cockroaches. You can try and kill us off, but it's almost impossible!

Justin: This is bullshit!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: No, what's bullshit is all of the shit that you put us through!

(Sir Justice and the South Park Stains jump off of the tree)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his paintball guns and readies his ultimate attack as a light on the guns starts to glow) Here's the plan guys, you beat these jerks down as much as you can, I'll prepare my ultimate attack. It'll take some time though as I can only use it when all five of these lights are glowing.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Are you going to use your Splatter Blaster attack?

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh no, I have something much better in mind. Just trust me.

Kenny/Mysterion: We trust you, dude.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah. We got your back no matter what.

Sam/Sir Justice: Great. Now let's take these guys down once and for all.

Saints: Right!

(The Saints go back to their respective opponent for Round 2)

Justin: Last stand, huh? Well good luck! You're going to need it!

 **(Tool Shed, Coon, Mysterion, Human Kite, Samurai of Light, and Beo-Wolf vs. Trent: Round 2)**

Trent: I'm going to char-broil your face! Ultimate Dragon Breath!

(Breathes fire at the six heroes, but they dodge. Stan/Tool Shed takes out his sledgehammer, but the face of the hammer opens up to reveal a cannon)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hammer Cannon!

(He fires a blast of orange energy at Trent, and he goes flying back)

Trent: Fireball Blast!

(He launches a fireball at Stan/Tool Shed, but Ursula/Samurai of Light shows up and pulls out a big fan)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Fan of Reflection!

(She waves her fan hard in front of the fireball and sends it flying back at Trent, who jumps out of the way…but Human Kite appears behind him)

Kyle/Human Kite: (A knife appears at the top of his kite as he flies towards Trent) Kite Stab!

(Human Kite stabs Trent in the back and throws him up in the air, and he lands on the ground with a thud)

Trent: I'm beginning to get very annoyed with you assholes! (He takes out his knife and lights it on fire) Fiery Slash!

(He charges at our heroes, but Ursula/Samurai of Light takes out her fans and blocks the attack. She enters a struggle with him, but she pushes the knife out of Trent's hands and prepares a counterattack)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Closes her fans and the big blades emerge) Razor Fan!

(She swings her blades, and manages to graze Trent in the stomach, causing him to bleed a bit)

Trent: You bitch! Fire Punch!

(He punches Ursula/Samurai of Light in the face with his fiery fist)

Kenny/Mysterion: Why you! (He charges)

Trent: You want some too, Mystery Meat?!

(He tries to punch Kenny/Mysterion with his Fire Punch attack, but he dodges them all and prepares a counter attack)

Mysterion: Enigmatic Kick!

(He kicks Trent in the face, knocking him on his ass. When he opens his eyes, he sees Coon/Cartman jump down on him)

Coon/Cartman: Raccoon Slam!

(He jumps on Trent's chest, causing him pain. When Coon/Cartman gets off of him, Trent gets up, only for Cartman to slap his raccoon tail in his face)

Coon/Cartman: Tanooki Tail Wag!

(He slaps Trent hard with his tail. Trent gets angry and grabs his tail)

Coon/Cartman: Uh oh!

Trent: Fire Punch!

(He punches Cartman in the back of his head, and he falls on the ground. It's then that Leon/Beo-Wolf steps in. He runs up to him and hits him with the claws of his wolf pelt. He continues a barrage of slashes and jabs from his claws)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Hey, pyromaniac! Why don't you play with me for a bit!? (He keeps up the pressure, but Trent is ready to retaliate)

Trent: Blazing Kick!

(He kicks Leon away from him, but he gets back up immediately)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Is that all you've got! (He touches the blue pads on his paws and Leon begins to clone himself) Wolf Clone! (There has to be about 24 Leons ready to beat Trent up. They all charge at Trent and they slash at him hard with his claws. Every punch, slash, kick, and bite made Trent angrier and angrier)

Trent: Stop it right _NOW!_ (As he screamed, a big fireball erupted from his mouth. The fireball went up into the sky) Firestorm!

(The fireball explodes into smaller fireballs, and they hit all but 4 of the clones…that are nowhere to be found)

Trent: Where are you hiding?

(Two of the clones appear for him. One on his left, and one on his right. They both come running at him, but Trent takes them out easily with a Fire Punch)

Trent: Pathetic.

(Just then, he sees Leon jump down from the top of a tree ready to slash him)

Trent: Ultimate Dragon Breath!

(Breathes fire at Leon/Beo-Wolf…but it turns out to be the penultimate clone)

Trent: WHERE ARE YOU!?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Yoo-hoo! (He appears behind him) Wolf Slash! (He runs up to him and slashes him right in the back, causing his back to bleed. He doubles over in pain)

Cartman/Coon: Now's our chance! Someone finish him off!

Stan/Tool Shed: I've got this! (He runs up to Trent with his sledgehammer. When he arrives to Trent, he looks up at Stan) So long, Trent! Hectic Hammer!

(Stan/Tool Shed hits Trent in the chest with his sledgehammer. The attack sends him flying, and when he lands, he's knocked out)

(The second light on Sir Justice's paintball guns glows)

 **(Fuchsia Tigress, Sharp Edge Stevens, Darling Dame, Fatal Feline, Madame Knight, Mr. Gentleman, Cerulean Viper, Glamorous Gardener, Smith the Kid, and Sgt. Stevens vs. Justin: Round 2)**

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Everyone, listen up! I have plan! (The group of ten huddle up to form a plan)

Justin: (Yawns) I'd like to kill you all before I grow old, here!

(The group release their huddle, and all but Bebe run away to find a place to hide. The likes of Cody, Wendy, and Jeffrey turn back to make sure she's okay, and Bebe nods with confidence. Her two friends and her father follow the rest of the team)

Justin: You can't be serious. You're seriously the only one willing to fight me.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Yeah. I'm the only one, Justin!

Justin: Guess the rest of your team is too chicken to fight me? Whatever, I'll still have fun beating you down. I'm going to kill you, and then play with your mangled corpse when I'm done! So let's go, Goldilocks! Chain Stab!

(As the Chain Stab attack comes at Bebe, she grabs her flute, and plays a short tune to activate the double lightsaber. She blocks Justin's Chain Stab with said double lightsaber. Once Justin lets up on his attack, Bebe charges at him and attempts to cut him to ribbons. Justin blocks every slash, and he attempts to whip her with his chain tentacles. Bebe blocks the whippings with her flutesaber. The two enter a struggle, clashing chain with flutesaber numerous times. They eventually try and push each other back with their weapons)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Trying to push Justin) Ugly bastard!

Justin: (Trying to push Bebe) Stupid cooze!

(Justin pushes Bebe with his chains and knocks her on her ass. Bebe gets up to see Justin prepare his ball and chain…this one has a much bigger rock)

Justin: Megaton Slam!

(He throws it down and Bebe dodges. She then puts her flutesaber away, gets in front of him, takes two swords out from her bag, and throws them into the ground, pointy end facing into the ground, so that they'd be hard to pull back out)

Justin: What are you doing!?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You'll see!

Justin: My, you're just full of surprises, aren't you!? Chain Whipping!

(He attempts to whip her with his tentacles again, but she dodges and places more swords into the ground. Justin attempts to whip Bebe again, but she dodges once more. This pace continued for a while, every time Bebe placed swords into the ground Justin would attempt to whip her. Eventually, Justin is surrounded by swords)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I got you now! (She snaps her fingers) Electric Barrier!

(The handles of the swords that are in the ground glow and they form an electrified fence around Justin)

Justin: What?!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Grabs some throwing knives as she, Red/Madame Knight, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Annie/Darling Dame, and Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener surround him) Take him, guys! Mr. Slave, you're up first! Make sure he can't block our attacks

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Got it! (He grabs some seeds) Sleepy Seeds!

(He throws them, and when they hit Justin, they release a sparkly dust that causes Justin to feel drowsy)

Justin: Wha…What did you do to me?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Now he can't block our attacks! Let loose everyone! Knife Toss! (Throws some knives)

Red/Madame Knight: Crossbows of Honor! (Fires rounds of arrows)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (His pistols start to glow) Moonshine Blaster! (A beam of yellow light with a blue aura comes out of his pistols)

Annie/Darling Dame: (Her uzis start to glow) Sunshine Lazer! (A beam of orange light with a red aura comes out of her uzis)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket! (He fires the "bullet bill" like bullet)

(The attacks land a direct hit on Justin, creating a wall of smoke)

Justin: GRAAAAAHHH!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Bullseye! (Her Electric Barrier attack wares off) Just in time too. My barrier wore off.

Justin: (The smoke clears and Justin is bruised, but he's still alive and kicking. He laughs evilly and coughs up some blood) Your barrier is gone, but I'm still here! DIE! Chain Stab!

(Five of his tentacles turn into knives, and he attempts to stab Bebe, Annie, Red, Jeffrey, and Kurt. Fortunately, Wendy, Doug, Cody, Mr. Slave, and Heidi block the attack. Wendy and Doug punch the attack off its course, Cody blocks the attack with his katana, Mr. Slave blocks the attack with his handheld rakes, and Heidi blocks the attack away with her claws)

Justin: Aww, fuck this! I'm outta here!

(He uses the chains on his back as wings and he flies away)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Crap, he's getting away!

Annie/Darling Dame: Not for long! (She opens her wingpack to reveal her blue butterfly wings. She then flies after Justin)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Go get him, Annie!

(In the skies above the cemetery, Justin is flying away, but he's flying a bit slow)

Justin: (To himself) That damn old fag's seeds really took a lot of energy from me. I don't even know how I'm still awake!

(Suddenly, Annie comes up fast)

Annie/Darling Dame: On your left! Razor Wing!

(Annie zips past him, and cuts his left arm)

Justin: Gah! You fucking bitch! Chain Capture! (He throws his chain tentacles at her, and she dodges, allowing her to take out her uzis)

Annie/Darling Dame: Bullets of the Rising Sun! (She fires bullets, but Justin manages to muster enough energy to dodge the bullets. He seems to have disappeared) Where did you go?

(Justin appears behind her and flings four of his chains at her)

Justin: Chain Capture!

(Justin grabs Annie with his four chains. Two of his other four chains turn into knives, and the other two keep him aloft)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Annie is in trouble!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I got this, meow! (She uses her tail as a spring) Boingey, boingey, boingey! (Using her tail spring, she jumps high in the air and makes it to Justin and Annie) Kitty's Claws! Meow!

(The claws break Justin's four chains, and set Annie free. Annie grabs Heidi so she won't careen to the ground and the two of them fly off. Justin's chains regenerate and he gives chase to the two girls)

Justin: Your asses are mine!

(As Annie and Heidi fly away, they notice Justin is slowly catching up to them)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Justin is catching up!

Annie/Darling Dame: Mr. Slave's Sleepy Seed must've worn off.

(Back on ground level, Wendy is coming up with a plan)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Dad! I need you to toss me up in the air towards Justin!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Sweetie, are you sure?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Just trust me!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Okay. (He picks his daughter up and throws her as hard as he can upwards towards Justin. Back in the sky, Justin is about to go in for the kill)

Justin: Your luck's run out, my little rabbits!

Annie/Darling Dame & Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Gasp)

Justin: Time to…(Just then, Wendy appears in front of him) What?!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: This is for that gash you gave me. Testaburger Chop!

(She chops him right on the crown of the head and he goes flying to the area where Trent lay defeated. Justin is defeated! Before Wendy could even fall to the ground, Annie grabs onto her as well. Annie goes back to ground level and drops Heidi and Wendy back off with their group)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Woo-hoo! We did it!

(The third light on Sir Justice guns glow)

 **(Dr. Sophocles, Singing Angel, DJ C-Rage, Tupper Wear, Mosquito, and Peppy Prince vs. PB-01 Max: Round 2)**

Dr. Sophocles: Can you kids keep him distracted while I prepare my attack.

Clyde/Mosquito: Sure thing, doc!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: We'll weaken him as much as we can.

Max: Let's do this! (He prepares his Gatling gun attack)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: You're not going to get us with that pea shooter you call an attack! (Takes out her cymbals) Simple Cymbals!

(She tosses them at Max, stopping his attack before he has a chance to use it. The impact of the attack brings Max to his knees. The cymbals come back to Bridgette like they were boomerangs. Before Max has a chance to do a counterattack, Clyde comes flying up to him)

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito's Fury!

(He unleashes a flurry of stabs from his stinger at Max. He doesn't impale him, but the attack does leave a few dents)

Max: Come here! (He grabs Clyde/Mosquito by the Stinger and throws him on the ground hard) I'm going to squash you like the little pest you are! (He's about to stomp on Clyde when…)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Angel's Screech! (She pulls out her microphone and screams really loud into the microphone, causing everyone, even Max to cover their ears (or whatever Max considers ears) Max ceases his attack on Clyde as a result)

Max: Gah! Shut up! (He aims his Perfect Gatling attack at her and prepares it)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Takes out his Fireworks Shooter) Celebration Cannon!

(He fires a firework and it hits Max, sending him back a bit. Before Max could counterattack, Peppy Prince holds up his pom poms)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Pom Pom Wrap!

(The ribbons on the pom poms extend and wrap Max up. He is then thrown up high in the air. Before Max comes crashing down to the ground, he activates his jetpack and starts an aerial attack)

Max: Irritating runts! This ends now! Disintegration Beam!

(He fires his beam downwards at the 6 fighters, and they dodge. Token/Tupper Wear finds a safe place to charge his strongest attack. As he charges his attack, the jug on his head starts to fill up with a bright light. When it's all prepared, Token/Tupper Wear comes out from hiding and gets ready to fight)

Token/Tupper Wear: Blinding Blast!

Max: Huh?

(Tupper Wear opens the lid on the big jug and a blast of light hits Max. It doesn't hurt him, but it does blind him)

Max: Augh! You little shit! I can't see a thing now! (He looks around frantically for his opponents) Where are you bastards?!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Treble Torpedoes!

(He fires the missiles from his boom box, and they hit Max, causing him to fall out of the sky. When Dr. Sophocles sees that, he charges at him)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Go, Dr. Sophocles, go!

(Dr. Sophocles jumps up and makes it to Max before he hits the ground. It's then he uses his ultimate attack)

Dr. Sophocles: Paralysis Pummel!

(He hits Max in his weak points: The right shoulder, the left knee, and the forehead. Max can't move now. Dr. Sophocles then takes his scythe and lands the finishing blow)

Dr. Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing! (He hits Max with his scythe and he goes flying towards where Trent and Justin lay)

Trent: M-Max!

Max: That bastard old man did something to me! I can't move!

Dr. Sophocles: I created you, Max. I placed power cores in the areas that I hit. Once I took those out, it was an easy win for me.

Max: (Smirk) Clever old man!

(The fourth light on Sir Justice's paintball guns glows)

 **(Butters vs. Ethel: Round 2)**

Ethel: As you kids say…take a chill pill! Icy Breath!

(Butters jumps up in the air to dodge and creates more balls of electricity)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Electro Ball!

(The Electro Balls hit Ethel, but she's still standing)

Ethel: I've had enough! (A sword of ice materializes in her hand)

Butters/Professor Chaos: I'm not afraid of you anymore, Grandma! If I have to kill you, I will! (A spear of electricity materializes in his hand)

Ethel: (Charges) Freezing Blade!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Spear!

(Their weapons clash, and they both get knocked back. They were on equal power though as the impact of the clash caused their weapons to break)

Ethel: It's time I take to the skies! (Her snowflake glider materializes out of nowhere, and she flies off) Try not to fall behind, Captain Pussy!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Fucking cunt! (Prepares more balls of electricity) Electro Ball! (He fires the balls, but Ethel dodges them all skillfully)

Ethel: My turn, now! (She forms icicles and points down at Butters) Icicle Storm!

(The icicles rain down on Butters hard)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Augh!

(When the attack ends, Butters is cut up with bruises all over his body)

Ethel: (Flying around him on her glider) You can't beat me! It doesn't matter if I'm young or old, you're still nothing but my bitch!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Gets very angry) I've had about enough of you, Grandma! I will defeat you, right here, right now! (He gauntlets begin to glow as a bunch of gray storm clouds cover the area)

Ethel: What are you doing?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Thunderstorm!

(A bunch of lightning bolts rain down from the sky and Ethel is having a hard time dodging. Eventually, she runs right into one of the lightning bolts, destroying her glider and frying her. Ethel falls from the sky, and Butters is ready with a finishing hit)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Jab, and that's all she wrote! (He punches Ethel so hard that she goes flying to where Trent, Justin, and Max lay)

(Sir Justice's fifth and final light glows, showing that his ultimate attack is ready)

Sam/Sir Justice: It's time…for my ultimate attack! (He stands up and points his paintball guns right at the four downed villains)

Justin: Come on, Sammy boy, we're already beat to hell! Don't do this again!

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry, Justin, but it has to be this way.

Justin: Oh boy! (Turns to his three comrades) Prepare for a whole load of paint! (Braces himself as his eight chain tentacles conceal him)

Sam/Sir Justice: (His paintball guns glow) SPLATTER BLASTER OMEGA!

(Huge blasts of paint, bigger than the normal Splatter Blaster Attack, come from his paintball guns, one green and one yellow, and they hit the four villains. The blast is so powerful they go flying into a nearby crypt, blasting a hole in the wall. The four villains are knocked out and defeated as Sir Justice and the South Park Saints cheer)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Woo-hoo! Yes! We did it! We did it!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Ha! Ha! Ha! I can just shout right now I'm so happy! The adrenaline is real! I feel like I was waiting my whole life for a fight like this!

(Even Kevin and Millie, who were recording and taking photos, are happy)

Kevin: Oh, Millie! They've done it! They've really done it! They managed to take down such powerful foes!

Millie: It's enough to make you cry tears of joy, ain't it?

Kevin: Yeah!

(As everyone celebrates, Wendy notices that Sir Justice is taking no part in it)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Hey, what's with you?

Sam/Sir Justice: I wouldn't celebrate too soon, guys. We're not out of the woods yet.

(Everyone stops dancing to listen to what he's saying)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: What do you mean?

Damien: (Appears behind the group) He means that you still have me to deal with!

(Everyone turns around to face Damien, who is standing on a gravestone)

Damien: I must congratulate you, really I must. I didn't think the likes of you could take down my henchmen. But here you all are, taking down my henchmen like they're nothing.

Stan/Tool Shed: Damien!

Sam/Sir Justice: Wait, you guys know each other.

Kyle/Human Kite: Yeah. He went to school with us for a short while.

Damien: I see you've all been doing well.

(Kevin and Millie are surprised as they continue to record and take photos)

Kevin: What…What is happening?!

(Back to our heroes)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Damien, what is the meaning of this?! What are you doing here?!

Damien: It's really quite simple, Wendy. As the son of the devil, my father wants me to be next in line for the Unholy Throne! He says that when I take the throne, I'll be able to rule this pathetic excuse of a world. I figured, why wait? Why not begin my conquest early, round up a small posse, and take this pathetic town by storm! Then after that, I'd take this state, this country, and then this whole world! Once that happened, I'd be able to recreate it all in my own image. A world where I am supreme ruler! A world where people like you are purged and erased from existence! It's my ideal world! I made it this far already…so why stop now?

Sam/Sir Justice: You're not going to get away with this! We will stop you!

Mephesto: And besides, there's about 26 of us and only one of you!

Damien: (Laughs evilly to himself) You fools are forgetting one thing. I'm the son of the devil! It doesn't matter if there are 100 of you, I'd still come out on top! I especially like my odds if I have this! (Takes out his spell book and our heroes get a bit nervous as he starts flipping through pages)

Sam/Sir Justice: Get ready to react at any moment, guys!

Damien: (Skims through the book and finds some good spell to use) These should do it! (He closes the book and puts it in his pocket) Alright! Time enter a new world! A world of pain and misery! (He rubs his hands together)

 **(Cue Collective Consciousness from Metal Gear Rising)**

(As Damien rubs his hands together, a bunch of eyes appear in front of our heroes. 26 in all. The eyes begin to glow)

Damien: Evil Eye!

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Boots, activate!

(Sam/Sir Justice hurries and gets everyone away from the lazers before they go off. When Damien snaps his fingers, the lazers go off…with nobody for them to hit)

 **(The unenlightened masses, they cannot make the judgment call. Give up free will forever their voices won't be heard at all)**

Damien: Clever boy. But I have plenty of other tricks up my sleeve! (Out of his back come long claws covered in a dark and sinister hue) Shadow Claw!

(The 26 heroes dodge out of the way, irritating Damien more)

 **(Display obedience…while never stepping out of line. And blindly swear allegiance! Let the devil control your mind! (** _ **LET THE DEVIL CONTROL YOUR SOUL!)**_

Damien: I'll crush you all like the bugs that you are! (A giant black hand with a purple aura comes out from the ground) Specter's Palm!

(The palm comes down on our heroes, but they all use their strength to hold the palm back and lift it off of them. Smith the Kid takes out his Gatling gun)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires his Gatling gun, destroying the hand)

 **(Live in ignorance and purchase your happiness. When blood and sweat is the real cost: thinking ceases, the truth is lost)**

Damien: Interesting. I can see why my minions had a tough time with you. You lot really are a force to be reckoned with.

(Our heroes take out some weapons, ready to fight some more)

 **(Don't you worry, you'll be told exactly what to do. I give my people the lives they need. The righteous will succeed (instrumental))**

Damien: You know what, I've been unfair. Not letting you guys attack and all. So I'll tell you what. You all can get one free shot at me. Go on now, don't hold back!

Coon/Cartman: You're actually letting us beat you down?

Damien: Uh, yeah?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I don't know. This seems like a trap.

Coon/Cartman: Who cares?! He's letting us get an easy win. Let's go everyone, charge!

(Everyone charges at Damien and they hit him with the strongest melee attacks they have. Punches, kicks, bites, slashes, slaps, they all hit Damien in a ballistic flurry…but they don't seem to hurt Damien at all. Suddenly, he grows bat wins from his back)

Damien: Black Gust! (He flaps his bat wings sending everyone flying back)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Rubbing her head) Told you all it was a trap.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Sees that Damien is unscathed) Impossible! There's hardly even a scratch on him!

 **(The fires of greed will burn the weak, so we'll make freedom obsolete. Making whole the fabric of society. Collective consciousness controlled as you will see! (instrumental))**

Damien: You all gave it a valiant effort. Now it's my turn! Shadow Snatch! (He snaps his fingers and our heroes shadows disappear and emerge on Damien's side. The Shadows then pop out of the ground and act as still figures)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: What is he doing with our shadows?

Damien: Get a load of this! (He punches Mr. Slave's shadow as hard as he can…and Mr. Slave feels the pain from that punch)

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: (Double over in pain) Oww! Jesus…Christ!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Shit! He's using some kind of shadow voodoo!

Damien: That's right! (He kicks Craig's shadow and Craig feels the pain. Soon, Damien beats up everybody else's respective shadow. They all fall to the ground in pain as their shadows return to them)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks up at Damien angrily) You…you fiend!

(Kevin and Millie are on the hill looking worried)

Millie: This is insanity! We can't just stand by and do nothing! Kevin, stay here!

(She leaves)

Kevin: Millie! Are you crazy! Come back here!

(She doesn't listen and keeps walking away as we cut to the crypt that Damien's minions are in. They regain consciousness)

Trent: Hey, what happened?

Ethel: Guys, look!

(The four minions look to see that Damien has Sir Justice and the South Park Saints on the ropes)

Justin: Oh yeah! Give them what for, Damien! Show them who's boss!

(We cut back to the fight)

Damien: Well, it's been fun. But now, I think it's time we end this. I emerged victorious. But don't worry, I'll give you all a little consolation prize…A one way trip to the depths of hell! (A giant eye appears in the sky directly above our heroes, and it begins to charge up energy) See you all in the afterlife!

 **(Let the devil control your soul! Let the devil control your soul! Let the devil control your soul!** _ **LET THE DEVIL CONTROL…YOUR…SOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUULLLL!)**_

(Our heroes brace themselves for the blast and hold on to their loved ones)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Praying) Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…

Annie/Darling Dame: (Holding on to Kurt, causing him to blush) I'm too pretty to die!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Bebe, I love you.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I love you too, daddy!

Sam/Sir Justice: You'll pay for this Damien, mark my words!

Damien: (Scoffs as the attack has reached full energy) Satanic Stare…

(Suddenly, Millie comes running up behind him)

Millie: Hey, asshole! You leave my friends alone! (She tackles Damien to the ground, breaking his concentration on the spell. The Satanic Stare attack disappears as a result, and our heroes get up from their state of helplessness to see Millie beating up Damien)

Red/Madame Knight: Millie?!

Damien: Get off of me, you dirty ginger bitch!

Millie: (Grabs Damien's spell book and throws it at our heroes) Hey, catch!

 **(Cue Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

(Sam/Sir Justice catches the book)

Millie: There's got to be at least one spell in that book that can put Damien in his place!

Sam/Sir Justice: Good thinking, Millie! I'll start looking through this book and see if I find anything use…OOF!

(He gets cut off by Trent, who threw the motionless PB-01 Max onto him, causing him to let go of the book and take the book for himself. Let the game of "Keep Away" begin!)

Trent: I'll be taking this!

Max: (Looks down as Sam/Sir Justice) What's it like to be below me?

Sam/Sir Justice: Just shut up! (Throws him off of his person)

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')**

Trent: (Looking through the spell book) I'll take care of these jokers for you, boss!

Kenny/Mysterion: Oh no you don't! Mystery Lob! (He punches Trent and knocks him unconscious, causing him to let go of the book. Mysterion grabs the book and throws it towards Sir Justice) Catch!

(The book is flying towards Sir Justice, but Justin uses his chain tentacles to grab the book away from him)

 **(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history)**

Justin: You're too slow! (Flies off with the book)

Annie/Darling Dame: Time to give chase!

Clyde/Mosquito: Right behind you, Annie!

Kyle/Human Kite: Count me in!

(The three of them fly after Justin)

 **(You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm not so intrigued, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream. If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream (Instrumentals and remixed voices))**

(In the skies above the cemetery, Justin is trying to look for a good spell to use against his opponents when suddenly…)

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare!

(He fires a beam of heat that barely misses Justin, but throws off his concentration)

Justin: Huh?!

Clyde/Mosquito: Give us that book, punk ass! (He sends out his brown mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Savage Swarm!

(Clyde sends his mosquito robots after Justin, and they swarm him)

Justin: (Tries shaking the mosquitoes away from him) Go away! Stop it right now! (In the midst of his flailing, he loses his grip of the book and it goes flying right into Annie's hands)

Annie/Darling Dame: Thanks for the gift, Justin! See ya! (She flies back down to the cemetery as Kyle and Clyde follow)

Clyde: Have fun playing with my mosquito robots, Justin!

Justin: Annoying pests! Chain Whirlwind! (He spins his chain tentacles around and destroys all of the mosquito robots as we cut to Annie flying back down to Earth)

Annie/Darling Dame: Butters! Heads up!

(She throws the book for Butters to catch it)

Butters/Professor Chaos: I got it! I got it!

(Ethel flies by on her snowflake glider and takes the book from him)

Ethel: (Laughs) You snooze you lose, Captain Pussy!

Annie/Darling Dame: (To Kyle and Clyde) Quick, after her! (The three fly after her, but Ethel launches a counterattack)

 **(Not enough for me to satisfy, any mistakes? Let's clarify. Let's post it to classify,  
Find your bad and BOOM BAP BAP, Do it together with my entourage, Please stick your head in the back of the garage, I'm gonna have a sale and sell you cheap, Please get out, you're out of my league! (More remixed voices and instrumentals)**

Ethel: Snowball Toss! (Three snowballs come from the sleeves of her robe and they hit Annie, Clyde, and Kyle, sending them crashing back to the cemetery) You're just as weak as Butters is! (Suddenly, she feels something hit her back…it's Jeffrey's Mighty Musket attack. The impact of the attack causes Ethel to drop the book) No! How dare you!

Justin: (Flies by and grabs the book) I got it! (Laughs) Suckers!

Tupper Wear/Token: Blinding Blast! (Fires the beam of light and Justin and blinds him)

Justin: Gah! You shitty brat! What have you done! (He accidently drops the book while trying to get his bearings straight)

 **(You still don't understand the man that your stinging, I ain't playin'. No more trainin'. Losing; it ain't easy to get back, You know what I'm sayin'. Hit your face with a big back slap. Click the cap and go Blap Blap Blap. Everything you touch will go flat, You know? Somehow people figure I'm in it (more remixed voices and instrumentals))**

Damien: (Gets pissed and uses his demonic voice) _**YOU ARE ALL PISSING ME OFF ROYALLY! GIVE ME THE GODDAMN BOOK!**_

(His Shadow Claw attack comes from his back, and they reach for the book, but Red/Madame Knight blocks them with her shield)

Red/Madame Knight: (Shakes her head) Uh-uh! Not in my house, fool!

(The book lands in Sam/Sir Justice's hands once more)

Damien: (Looks around to see his minions are taken care of one way or another, and he sees that the South Park Saints have him surrounded) Uh oh!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks through the book and finds a spell he could use) Alright, It's time to end this!

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Closes the spell book) This fight was fun! We all fought well! But it's time to end this! Now go to hell! Dead Hands Spell!

(His eyes glow blue and the Earth opens up before everyone as a horde of bloody hands rise from the ground. Our heroes jump out of the way of the hands' reach, but they grab Damien. One hand digs right into his chest, rips out his heart, and crushes it in its fist…that doesn't kill Damien though, but it weakens him.)

Damien: Damn it…I feel…weak!

(More hands erupt from the ground and a gust of wind blows through the area. The gust is so strong it blows Sir Justice's falcon mask right off of his face, allowing everyone to see Sir Justice's real identity for a moment. Kevin is still on the hill taking pictures and recording for Millie)

Kevin: This is so cool!

(Back at the fight, a bunch of hands force the weakened Damien into an orb so he can't escape, and then they drag the orb into the depths of hell as Damien screams all the while)

 **(** **Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

Damien: No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (The hands drag Damien and his orb into hell as the ground closes up in a loud and thunderous clap…the fight is finally over)

Max: Master Damien! NO!

Justin: Damn it, those bastards got us again!

Ethel: Why are you all moping! We still have our powers! Let's get them!

Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener: (Throws some Sleepy Seeds at the four villains, making them drowsy and they fall asleep) We're so tired of you!

(Kevin and Millie come out of hiding to meet up with their friends, and they too see Sir Justice's true identity. Sam/Sir Justice realizes that his mask flew off and he frantically searches for it. He finds it and quickly puts it back on)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Pretending like they didn't see anything) Thank you all for you assistance, citizens! You did great! We sure showed them, didn't we?

(His comrades aren't fooled anymore)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Sam? Is that you?

Sam/Sir Justice: Uh, I uh… (He sighs, removes his mask, and fixes his hair so it's back to its gelled down form. Sam shows himself)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sam?! You were Sir Justice this whole time!?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah…you got me. I'm Sir Justice.

Stan/Tool Shed: So when we were saved from Trent the first time…

Annie/Darling Dame: And when we were saved from getting raped by Justin…

Tweek/Peppy Prince: And when we were saved from NAMBLA and Max …

Butters/Professor Chaos: And when I was saved from my Grandma….

All: That was you?!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Nods)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Uh, I just want to clarify that I called this one from the beginning.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Clears his throat) As long as identities are being revealed…(He removes his cowboy hat as Bridgette and Ursula remove their masks)

Annie/Darling Dame: Kurt?!

Clyde/Mosquito: Bridgette?!

Red/Madame Knight: Ursula?!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yup, we're superheroes too. And, big shocker, Justin was one as well…you know, before he turned to the dark side and all.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Okay, literally, all of this I knew from the beginning! I just didn't want to say anything because then you'd all think I was crazy.

Coon/Cartman: Nobody cares, Wendy.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sighs and walks away)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Wendy, where are you going?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I'm going home to take a bath. This has been a long evening.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Wait for me, sweetie!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Well, we should all be heading home too.

(Wendy and her father head for home, and soon, everyone else heads back to their respective homes for a good night's rest. Eventually, only Sam, Bridgette, Kurt, and Ursula are alone in the cemetery)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: My, what an eventful evening this was. (They turn to the sleeping Max, Justin, Ethel, and Trent) What are we going to do about them?

Sam/Sir Justice: I think the guard comes by here around this time to do his nightly rounds. Let's leave them there.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Okay.

(The four kids begin to leave the cemetery)

Sam/Sir Justice: So, the night is still young. What do you guys want to do?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Late night pizza party?

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh yeah, you know it! And we're in luck. There's a pizzeria that's open until 4 in the morning just down the road!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: What are we waiting for? Let's go!

(The four kids run off to the pizzeria)

(Meanwhile, in another part of hell, Satan's Castle to be specific, Satan has just received word of his son's defeat thanks to a messenger goblin)

Satan: My son has been defeated in battle, and now he's imprisoned? That kid, I swear, he drives me _crazy_! (He breathes fire and accidently kills the messenger goblin. Satan doesn't care) No matter. He'll still be my successor to the throne. I have an ace up my sleeve to free him. (He snaps his fingers and astral projections of eight silhouetted figures appear in front of him) The blood harvest start…now!

 **TO BE CONTINUED... (8 year Time skip time)**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato** **)**

(Shot #1: Trent, Justin, Ethel, and Max are placed in a higher security prison and they are given separate cells)

 **(** **Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou** **.** **Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #2: Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula are heading back to Houston, so everyone heads to Whistling Willy's for a going away party)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida a shita yoru mo)**

(Shot #3: Bebe stops by South Park Laboratories to visit Cody. She finally tells him how she feels about him, and they both hug. Cody x Bebe is now a thing in this fanfic people!)

 **(Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #4: Sam and his new friends are about to enter their first day of Middle School. They walk up to the building with much confidence)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite. Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu)**

(Shot #5: Cartman is at a behavior management class, and he's doing very well. In fact, he's at the top of his class. He also appears to be a bit thinner)

 **(Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #6: At Store Justice, there is even more merchandise! Costumes of the South Park Saints, South Park Saints dolls/action figures, and little knick knacks (special mention going to the Heidi/Fatal Feline version of a Maneki-Neko doll))

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou  
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido **

(Shot #7: We cut to Middle School graduation. Sam and his friends get their certificates and are ready to advance to High School)

 **(Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to  
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #8: Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula are back, this time for good. Their families decided to move to South Park as well so they can be closer to Sam. Annie and Clyde are especially overjoyed that Kurt and Bridgette are back. But when Red enters the scene, she sees Ursula and blushes a little bit)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte  
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute  
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #9: Kurt, Annie, Bridgette, and Clyde are on a double date and are having a great time as they clink their drink glasses)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #10: It's Wendy's Sweet 16 party, everyone is having a great time, eating food, dancing to music, and exchanging gifts)

 **(Samayoinagara Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo  
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #11: It's the day when colleges visit South Park High, and everyone is going from booth to booth to look for potential colleges)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite  
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu  
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo  
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #12: The Students of South Park High are driving up to the parking lot in their cars…but Sam arrives on a motorcycle, showing off his new motorcycle license. Some of the guys are a little bit jealous)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo  
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru  
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga  
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka  
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa  
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: A bank robbery is occurring at South Park Federal Bank, but Sir Justice and the South Park Saints, along with Mephesto and a Boaralcon (Cross between boar and falcon) Bust through the window to stop said robbery. The robbers and heroes prepare to fight as the credits end)

 **(Author's note: So ends the Prologue Arc. Next up is the Blood Harvest Arc. Question: Which Prologue was your favorite and why?)**


	6. Teenage Characters Description

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints Episode ?: Teenage Character Designs

 **(Author's Note: Sorry about the delay for episode 6. Between writer's block, school, work, and I've been playing a lot of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, I don't have much time for this fanfic. I'll try and get new chapters out as soon as I can, so just hang tight.)**

Okay, everyone. This chapter isn't mean to continue the story, but I figured that since we entered the time skip, everyone is wondering what the teenage versions of Sam and his friends are going to look like. That's what this chapter is here for. So if you ever need a reminder as to what the characters look like, refer to this chapter. The characters' superhero wardrobe remain the same, but they obviously have gotten bigger sizes in their costumes since they've gotten older.

As far as actual physical change goes, some of the characters have decided to change their hair style. The characters are now taller, obviously. Some of the boys in the team have gained some muscle (Cartman has lost a considerable amount of weight). The girls, meanwhile, have gained more….. ** _ahem_** ….feminine features. Now then, here is everyone's teenage design

 **(The adults (Doug, Jeffrey, Mr. Slave, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto) show no signs of aging and haven't changed their wardrobe)**

 **(Teenage Samuel Cooper still has his hair gelled down, and his wardrobe isn't too different from when he was 10. He still has black shoes, blue jeans, and an orange t-shirt, but his black sweatshirt is replaced with a brown leather jacket, and he now has a sweet pair of sunglasses)**

 **(Teenage Clyde wears a short sleeve open red button up shirt with a blue undershirt, beige pants, and brown shoes)**

 **(Teenage Cody is still wearing his black glasses, blue jeans, and black sneakers, but now he has a long sleeve white sweater, and a gold wrist watch on his left wrist that his girlfriend, Bebe, gave to him)**

 **(Teenage Bebe has long blond hair with one of the bangs covering her left eye, and she is wearing a black t-shirt with a picture of a heart, a red skirt that goes to her knees, and black shoes with black ankle socks. She also has a silver heart shaped necklace with a red ruby in the middle of it. Cody gave her that necklace.)**

 **(Teenage Cartman has lost a lot of weight, and is a slender boy, still wearing his blue and yellow beanie over his brown hair. Changes in wardrobe would be the fact that he's now wearing a red tank top with the number 97 written in white lettering, with his brown pants, a shark tooth necklace, and brown sneakers)**

 **(Teenage Ursula is wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with the word "Samurai" on it written in red. She also has blue jeans, black sneakers, and she let her hair grow out to make a ponytail. Speaking of her hair, she decided to dye it blue. She still has her Houston Texans cap on her head)**

 **(Teenage Bridgette still has a white sundress, but she now has white shoes with white socks that go up to her thigh, and her brunette hair is also tied into a ponytail thanks to a white ribbon)**

 **(Teenage Kurt decided to gel his hair upward, giving it a spiky feel, and he is wearing a red sweat jacket with a blue undershirt, black jeans, and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Annie still has her hair short and curly, and she is wearing a plain gray t-shirt with a brown sweatshirt wrapped around her waist, black fingerless gloves, and she has black jeans with black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Red still has her red hair grown long, and she is wearing a dark blue t-shirt over a long sleeve purple shirt, and she has a dark blue skirt with purple socks that go to her knee and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Wendy, like Ursula, decided to tie her hair up into a ponytail. She still has her cute pink hat, but now she's wearing a purple sleeveless button up shirt, a yellow ruffled skirt, black socks that go up to her knee, and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Token has his hair tied up in a man-bun, a purple tanktop with the letter T on it, black shorts, purple and white wristbands on both wrists, and black sandals)**

 **(Teenage Butters has decided to make a Mohawk with his blond hair. His wardrobe hasn't changed at all since he was a kid)**

 **(Teenage Stan is still wearing his blue and red beanie over his black hair that he let grow out, but now he has a long sleeve brown button up shirt with a black tie, blue jeans, and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Kyle ditched his hat, and is letting his red jewfro flow in the breeze. He has a long sleeve orange shirt underneath a green sweater vest, black jeans, and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Kenny still has his orange jacket with his hood covering his face, but he now has blue jeans that have tears in them, and some blue shoes)**

 **(Teenage Kevin has his black hair gelled to the side, and he is wearing a light blue muscle shirt, red cargo pants, brown shoes, a gold chain with a crucifix, and brown glasses over his eyes)**

 **(Teenage Millie decided to ditch her pigtails and let her hair grow long. She's wearing a lime green sundress with yellow ankle socks and lime green heels)**

 **(20 year old Leon is wearing a dark green tank top, beige cargo shorts, brown sneakers, and he got himself a buzz cut)**

 **(Teenage Craig still has his blue hat, but he let his black hair grow out more, and he is wearing a dark blue sleeveless sweatshirt, black cargo shorts, and black shoes)**

 **(Teenage Tweek is the only other member, sans for the adults and Butters, who hasn't had a change in wardrobe. The only noticeable difference is that he finally buttoned up his shirt properly, and he decided to add a white necktie to his wardrobe)**

 **(Finally, Teenage Heidi is wearing her hat as seen in Season 20, but she is also wearing a lime green t-shirt that reads "Cat Lover 4 Life" in red lettering. She also has a red skirt with black leggings and red shoes)**

Holy shit I've got a lot of characters. So, that's going to be the designs of the characters from here on out, whenever they are _not_ in superhero garb. Any other characters that'll appear later in the series will get descriptions when they appear in the fanfic. So yeah, that's it. Episode 6, the first episode of The Blood Harvest Arc should be coming soon…hopefully…if I can get over my damn writers block and put the Nintendo Switch down!


	7. Killing Me Harshly With His Song

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 6: Killing Me Harshly With His Song

 **(Note: Every chapter from this point on is going to take place 8 years after the events of the first five chapters, so characters like Sam, Wendy, Butters, and their friends are 18 years old now. Like I said, it's Time Skip time. If you want to know what each character looks like as teenagers, refer to the previous chapter)**

(It's a calm Saturday night in mid-April in South Park, and a man that appears to be in his late 20s early 30s leaves Skeeter's Bar. He begins to walk home, smoking a cigarette as he walks. He looks up into the night sky, happy to see such a beautiful night, the moon and stars shining brightly down on him. He couldn't help but let out a content sigh. It's at this moment when he hears the music of a Gibson Les Paul guitar coming from an alleyway. The melody is calming and nice to listen to. The man gets a dazed look on his face, as the music is hypnotizing him)

Man: That music! I must listen closer!

(He goes into the alleyway to listen to the music, but when he enters, the music stops and the man snaps out of his hypnotic daze)

Man: What am I doing here?

(He turns around to leave the alleyway, but he is then met with a shadowy figure. The figure is pointing a gun that's attached to the back of the guitar's headstock at the man's head)

Man: What the hell is…

(Before the man could finish the sentence, the figure fires his guitar-gun, blowing the man's head clean off his shoulders. Blood spurts everywhere. The figure picks the man's decapitated corpse up, takes out a flask, and pours blood from the man's neck into said flask. Once he has enough, the figure closes his flask and leaves the alley way as we hear the figure talk)

Figure: Damien…he shall be revived!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (4 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, and Max). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(** **Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut to a news report from Tom Thompson)

Tom Thompson: This is Tom Thompson here with some breaking news! Late last night, Mr. Drake Goldroy of South Park, CO was found decapitated in an alley way not far from Skeeter's Bar and Grill! It is unknown who the perpetrator is as nobody was around to see the crime take place. Although, we did get an interview from Skeeter himself, as he heard the gunshot from inside his bar. Here is what he had to say…

Skeeter: (Being interviewed) Drake was my last customer before I had to close up shop for the evening. As I was cleaning the last of my beer mugs, I heard the gun shot, and came running to where the sound came from. It was then I saw Drake's decapitated corpse just rotting there. I was unable to see who did this, but I just hope that whoever did this dies a thousand horrible deaths! (Interview ends)

Tom Thompson: And there you have it! In other news, today marks eight years since the battle at South Park Cemetery shook the town to its very core! (Footage that Millie and Kevin took of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints fighting Damien and his gang is shown on the corner of the screen) Yes, this midnight marked 8 years since the great battle! South Park's very own Justice League, the South Park Saints, took on five dangerous hoodlums. One of which was the son of the devil himself, Damien. The leader of the group, Sir Justice, managed to take Damien's spell book and seal him in the depths of hell, hopefully to never return! To this day, the South Park Saints are still defending this town and fighting for what is right. A few questions arise from this, however: Who are the South Park Saints? Where did they come from? And what are these heroes doing right now at this very moment?

(It's the Sunday before Spring Break. We cut to 18 year old Samuel Cooper, who is riding down the street on his motorcycle. The motorcycle is a dark red Harley-Davidson. As Sam is cruising down the street he sees that he needs some gas, so he stops by the gas station to get some. He fills up his tank, and heads inside the store to pay for the gas. The person at the cash register is none other than 18 year old Clyde Donovan)

Sam: 'Sup, Clyde!

Clyde: Hey, Sammy, what's going on?

Sam: Nothing much. The old Harley needed some gas. Here's a good $20.

Clyde: Thanks, bud. So I guess you're on your way to Cody's place in South Park Hills?

Sam: Yeah. Everyone should be there. It is the 8 year anniversary since we put Damien away after all. Are you coming?

Clyde: You know it! I get off of work in ten minutes, so I'll catch up with you as soon as I wrap things up here.

Sam: Sounds good, pal! Peace!

(He leaves the mini-mart, hops back on his motorcycle, and rides off for South Park Hills)

(Upon arriving to South Park Hills, Sam looks to see that his friends have beaten him to the party as he sees all of their cars parked in front of his mansion)

Sam: It seems they've started the party without me. Oh well.

(Sam parks his motorcycle and marches up to Cody's front door. He knocks, and 18 year old Cody Oppenheimer answers)

Cody: Hey, Samuel, old sport! You made it!

Sam: What's up, bud?

Cody: Come along, everyone is in the back.

(Cody leads Sam to the backyard where he finds the South Park Saints, not including Clyde who has yet to arrive, but including Millie and Kevin, socializing and having a great time as they are listening to Red Hot Chili Pepper version of Love Rollercoaster)

Cody: Eight short years! That's how long it's been since we all fought against Damien and sealed him away.

Sam: Don't forget about Trent, Justin, PB-01 Max, and Ethel.

Cody: That's right. We haven't heard much of those ruffians in eight years either.

Bebe: (Comes up to the two boys) Hopefully they all got the death penalty…especially Justin!

Sam: Oh, hey Bebe!

Cody: Ah, Bebe, my darling! How are you enjoying the party?

Bebe: I'm having such a great time, sweetie!

Cody: Good to know (He kisses her). I was just talking with Samuel about how it's been eight years since the showdown back at South Park Cemetery.

Bebe: Yeah. Honestly, it feels like just yesterday we sealed Damien away. Not a lot has happened in regards to criminal activity since then. I mean, yeah, we get the occasional bank robbery or kidnapping, but since that day at the cemetery, it's a rare occasion when we bust out our superhero personas.

Sam: But whenever we do put on our costumes, oh boy, what a rush! Anyway, as long as we're talking about things that happened eight years ago. It makes me happy to see you two together after eight years. I mean, you guys have been boyfriend/girlfriend since you were 10.

Cody: (Blushes) I guess our love is a thing that endures. It's like wine, it gets better with age.

Sam: You two are good for each other, mainly because of the similarities you all share. I mean, both of you are these nice Spoiled Sweet type characters, you both have swords as your weapon of choice, and before you guys met each other, you had plenty of "insignificant" others. There's no easy way for me to say it, but you guys are each others' gender counterpart.

Cody: Hmm, we didn't notice it until you mentioned it. But, yeah, my beautiful flower and I do share some similarities. Maybe that's why we love each other so much, and maybe that's why Bebe is the best girlfriend I could ever ask for.

Bebe: Awww, Cody.

Sam: (Giggles to himself) Save the PDA for later, kids. There's a party going on right now, and I'm ready to mingle.

Clyde: (Comes in behind Sam) WOOOO! Who is ready to par-tay!

Sam: I'm ready to party, are you ready to party Cody!

Cody: I'm ready to party, are you ready to party, darling?

Bebe: I'm ready to party, are you ready to party, Clyde!

Clyde: I'm ready to par-tay! Are you ready to par-tay, Sammy?

Sam: Oh, ho, ho! I'm ready to party, are you ready to…

Cartman: (Comes up to the group of four) Are you guys seriously quoting Spongebob? What are you, nine years old?

Sam: There's nothing wrong referencing cartoons from yesteryear, Cartman.

Cartman: Glad to see you made it to the party, Sam.

Sam: Thanks, bud.

Cartman: Let's go to the buffet table and get you some food. Follow me.

(Sam and Clyde follow Cartman to the buffet table, where he finds Ursula, Bridgette, Kurt, Annie, and Red chilling out and conversing)

Sam: What's up, guys!

Bridgette: Hey, Sam! You made it!

Clyde: Hey, baby!

Bridgette: Ah, Clyde, my stud!

(They hug each other)

Sam: So, what do we have to eat here, gang?

Kurt: (Working on some food at the grill) Well, I could cook you up a nice bacon cheese burger, or some shrimp kabobs. But, if you aren't feeling too adventurous today, I always have hot dogs.

Sam: How about all of the above, good buddy?

Kurt: Coming right up! (He gets cooking)

Annie: (Chewing on a burger) Wow, Kurty, this burger is delicious!

Kurt: Thanks, babe. A little recipe that I got out of my mom's cookbook. The key is to make sure that you flip the bacon at _exactly_ 10 minutes: not a second more or a second less, and then you let the other side cook for the exact amount of time so that the strips cook evenly.

Ursula: Heh, that's our Kurt. Always paying attention to his cooking down to the last detail.

Kurt: An aspiring chef like myself needs such a skill if he's going to get anywhere in this world. An aspiring chef also needs one very important ingredient.

Red: (Under her breath) Oh, he'd best not say the important ingredient is lo…

Kurt: I make my food with love!

Red: (Under her breath) Of course.

Bridgette: What's wrong with cooking with love, Red? Everything tastes better with the stuff.

Ursula: Things also taste better when you share. (Holds out the rest of her shrimp kabob at Red) Want the rest of my kabob, Red?

Red: (Flustered) Oh, uh, no I'm fine, thank you.

Sam: Something wrong, Red?

Red: I'm fine, Sam. Really I am.

Sam: Okay. Kurt, give me a call when my food is ready, okay bro?

Kurt: Got it, buddy!

(Sam explores the party some more, leaving Clyde and Cartman at the buffet table. Sam decides to go over to the game corner. The adults (Doug, Jeffrey, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto) are playing horseshoes, Wendy, Token, Butters, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are playing some volleyball, Kevin and Millie are watching these games, and Leon is taking a nap on the hammock)

Sam: (Walks up to the hammock and nudges Leon) Don't you know it's dangerous to fall asleep at a party, Leon? You never know what'll happen to you.

Leon: (Yawns) Relax, buddy. It's not like I'm at a party with total strangers. I know you guys.

Sam: Even still, I wouldn't recommend it.

Leon: Alright, fine. You sound like my mother.

Sam: Don't even compare me to your mother, Leon. First of all, I'm much more attractive.

(Leon just laughs at that comment)

Butters: (Hits the volleyball too hard and it's flying towards Sam) Heads up, Sam!

Sam: Heads up yourself!

(Sam spikes the ball back to the field)

Token: Nice serve, Sam!

Sam: Thanks, bro!

Sophocles: Hey, Sam! Over here!

(Sam goes over to the adults, who are taking a break from their horseshoes game)

Jeffrey: (Hands Sam a can of soda) Here you go.

Sam: (Takes the soda) Thanks, Mr. Stevens.

Jeffrey: Please, you can call me Jeffrey. You can even call me Jeff if you want.

Sam: Really?

Jeffrey: Sure. I've known you for about 8 years now. It's okay.

Doug: Yeah, and you can call me Doug instead of Mr. Testaburger.

Mephesto: You don't have to adress me or Sophocles by Doctor anymore if you don't want to either.

Mr. Slave: And me, Sam, you can address me by my first name, Alex.

Sam: Alex?

Alex Slave: Yeah, Alexander T. Slave…(Blushes) The T stands for Tiffany.

(Sam and the other adults try and hold back laughter)

Alex Slave: That's enough! Jesus Christ!

(Kevin and Millie walk up to Sam and the adults)

Sam: (Turns to Sophocles) You wanted to see me, Sophocles?

Sophocles: Yes. I've managed soup up everyone's weapons in some way shape or form so they can pull off new and more powerful moves. For example, the jewel on Cody's staff now has the ability to fire energy blasts, Kyle can now launch harpoons from his kite, and Heidi can run fast when she activates the red discs on her paws.

Kevin: You gave Heidi the ability to move fast? Doesn't she have motion sickness?

Millie: No, she got over it recently, Kev. That's why she decided to get a speed power up, in celebration of her getting over her motion sickness.

(Dr. Sophocles gives him some uzis with orange jewels on the sides)

Sophocles: See the orange jewels? If you press on them, they'll start up a new attack called Falcon's Blast.

Sam: What does it do?

Sophocles: When the time comes, you'll see.

Sam: Thanks, doc.

Sophocles: No problem.

Craig: (Calling him from the center of the backyard) Sam, over here!

Sam: Be right back, gang! (He hurries over to the center of the backyard, where Tweek, Craig, and Heidi have set up a stage for him) What's up, guys?

Heidi: We figured that since you're the one who saved us from our respective dangers, and you're the leader of the South Park Saints, you should make some kind of speech since this is the 8 year anniversary we sealed Damien away.

Sam: Not a bad idea. Though, I didn't come up with a speech.

Craig: Don't worry, it'll come to you.

Tweek: I'll get everyone's attention. (Clears his throat) Excuse me, everyone! Can I have your attention, please! Hello?! (No one listens to him) LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! (Everyone turns their attention to the stage) Thank you. Everyone, our man of the hour, Samuel "Sir Jusitce" Cooper, has a few word he'd like to share. So please, a round of applause.

(Everyone claps)

Sam: Thank you all! You know, it feels like just yesterday I was saving you all from the likes of Trent, Justin, NAMBLA, and Ethel, and you all fought alongside me to stop Damien. Because of us, South Park, and maybe even the world, is a safer place! We did good guys, and I'm proud of us. So it is from the bottom of my heart that I say, thank you for your support and help over the years! Let's keep South Park crime free forever!

(Everyone cheers)

Sam: That's all I have to say so…let's dance!

 **(Cue Feel This Moment by Pitbull ft. Christina Aguilera)**

 **(One day when the light is glowing, I'll be in my castle golden. But until the gates are open, I just wanna feel this moment. Ohhhhhhhh! I just want to feel this moment! Ohhhhhh! I just want to feel this moment! (Instrumentals))**

(We see a montage of everyone danceing, eating food, and playing games. We then cut the sun setting as the party has ended. The party guests, and Cody's servants, are cleaning up, but Millie is leaving early)

Sam: Where are you heading, Millie?

Wendy: Yeah, aren't you going to help us clean up?

Millie: I'd like to stay and help, but I have a ticket to the big show tonight.

Wendy: What big show?

Millie: (Clears her throat) Get ready when I tell you this, but tonight Tobias Shredder will be performing live at Denver's Pepsi Cola Stadium!

Sam: Wait, Tobias Shredder?! This generations music sensation that's sweeping the nation? The man that single handedly revived the rock n' roll genre of music?! Is that the guy you're talking about?!

Millie: Oh yes!

Sam: Dude, I've been a huge fan of his for years! Did you know he started his music career before he even graduated middle school?! This dude is a rock and roll legend in Colorado! Can I come too?

Millie: Sure, why not.

Wendy: Can I come too.

Cartman: Looking to follow Sam around, Wendy? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a crush on him.

Wendy: No! No! I just feel like Sam and I drifted apart recently, and I want to hang out with him.

Cartman: Whatever you say. Anyway, am I welcome to join you guys?

Millie: You guys can come if you want to…but you're going to have to buy your tickets at the box office when we get there.

Cartman: Worth it.

Millie: Okay, to anyone else that wants to tag along, step forward right now!

(The following people step up: Kevin, Kurt, Ursula, Red, Annie, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Craig, Tweek, Leon, and Alex Slave)

Millie: (Turns to everyone else) You guys don't want to come with?

Cody: No thanks. I'm not a big fan of rock n' roll.

Token: Pass.

Doug: Have to go over taxes.

Bebe: Unless Lady Gaga does a duet with this Tobias guy, I'm not interested.

Bridgette: Choir practice later tonight.

Millie: (Shrugs her shoulders) Suit yourselves. (Turns to the friends that are going with her) Come on, everyone, let's go!

(The 17 people leave and head off for the Denver Pepsi Cola Stadium, while the remaining people get ready to head for home)

Jeffrey: I'm going to head home. I guess I'll see you there, Bebe?

Bebe: Yes, daddy.

Jeffrey: Okay. See you later.

(He leaves, and Doug and Mephesto follow)

Token: So, what do you guys want to do now?

Clyde: Do you guys want to go to the cemetery?

Token: What in God's name could be at the cemetery?

Clyde: I don't know, but it could be cool!

Token: (Confused) It could be cool?

Clyde: Yeah. That and it's been eight years since our little tiff with Damien and his crew. I figured we can take this opportunity to take a stroll down memory lane.

Heidi: I'm in.

Bebe: Yeah, me too.

Cody: I don't want to leave my uncle Sophocles to clean up this mess.

Sophocles: You guys go on ahead. The servants and I will handle the mess.

Cody: Thanks, uncle. I appreciate it! Okay, let's go!

(The group head for the cemetery. Upon arriving at South Park Cemetery, they head straight for where they fought Damien and company)

Bridgette: It's hard to believe that eight years ago, we put our lives on the line fighting on this very ground. I'd like to thank Jesus that we are all still alive and well after that day.

Bebe: (Goes over a tree that has one of her knives stuck in it) Whoa, one of my knives are still here!

Cody: Want me to take it out for you, babe?

Bebe: No. I want it to stay there as a reminder of what we all did that night.

Cody: Okay. But real quick, let me do something. (He takes out a pocket knife and carves his and Bebe's initials into the tree)

Bebe: Aww, sweetie.

Cody: Love you, darling.

Clyde: (He looks at them and then grabs a flower from a nearby gravestone, and gives it to Bridgette) Here you are, Bridgette, my sweet.

Bridgette: (Chuckles) Clyde, you're not slick. I know you grabbed that from another gravestone.

Clyde: Okay…you got me.

Bridgette: Oh my dear Clyde. We've been together for at least four years now. You should know by now that I don't view gifts as a way of showing love. You show love to me by kissing and hugging me each time we meet each other. That's all I need to know that you love me.

(She hugs him and kisses his cheek)

Heidi: (Looks at the two couples) You four are so adorable together! I wish I had someone to love like that.

Token: (Clears his throat) You know, Heidi, I've been feeling lonely since Nichole broke up with me a few months ago. Now I'm looking to get back in the dating scene. If you're interested, I have a coupon for free breadsticks at Pizza Hut if you want to do something later.

Heidi: (Blushes and tries to ignore him) Uh, I'll think about it. (She then sees a strange black crypt not far from where the six kids stand) Hey guys, check this out! (She goes up to the crypt and the other five kids follow) I don't think this crypt was here a few weeks ago.

Clyde: I don't think so either.

Bridgette: Wait a minute! Isn't this the exact place where Sam sealed Damien away eight years ago?

Heidi: I think you might be right.

 **(Insert flashback of 10 year old Sam/Sir Justice sealing Damien away here)**

Heidi: Do you guys think Damien is inside this crypt?

Bridgette: There's a high possibility. Should we check it out?

Token: I don't think so. Even if we wanted to, we can't. It looks like there's some kind of barrier blocking the entrance.

(He points at a red barrier that's blocking the entrance. The barrier has some kanji written in it)

Bebe: There's some Japanese letters on it. I can't read it!

Cody: Good thing I always carry around my Japanese-English Dictionary! (He takes the dictionary out of his pocket)

Clyde: You actually carry around a Japanese-English Dictionary with you?

Cody: That's right. You never know when you'll need it!

Clyde: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bud.

(Cody starts flipping through the pages on his dictionary, and looking back at the kanji letters. After a while, he's able to translate)

Bebe: What's it say, babe?

Cody: It reads: "This barrier will only open when the 13 stones are destroyed, and Damien can only be freed when the blood of 100 mortals are injected into his orb by one of the eight advocates that have been chosen.

Bebe: What does that mean?

Cody: I don't know. But all of this deserves some kind of analysis. I'll do some research as to what all of this means, and then I'll meet you all again when I've learned more. Okay?

Five kids: Yes!

Cody: Right. Farewell!

(The six kids go their separate ways as we cut to Sam and his merry band of friends at the Tobias Shredder concert in Denver. They got their tickets, some snacks, some souvenir clothes, and make their way to their seats in the front row)

Stan: Holy crap, I can't believe we got seats in the front row!

Red: I know, isn't it great!

Tweek: Craig, you got the video camera ready?

Craig: That depends, you got the lighters and glow sticks?

Tweek: You know it! (Takes out lighters and glow sticks)

Craig: Then yeah, I brought my camera! (Takes out his camera) I'm going to record the whole show, and with any luck, maybe I'll get shots of girls flashing!

Ursula: So, question, is this the type of concert where women allowed to throw their panties up on stage at any moment?

Millie: (Already holding her own panties over her shoulder) If so, I'm already one step ahead of you all.

Craig: (Blushes and purposely drops a glow stick) Hey, Millie, can you get that for me?

Millie: Ursula?

Ursula: On it. (She grabs Craig's glow stick, causing him to frown)

Millie: Nice try, perv!

(The lights then dim in the stadium: The show is about to begin! Tobias band members, a drummer and a keyboard player, begin to play as Tobias Shredder himself emerges out from smoke that's causes by a smoke screen)

 **(Tobias Shredder appears to be in his late-20s/early-30s. His black hair has an Elvis style haircut, and he's wearing a black leather jacket with the words, "Shred 'Em Up" sewn onto the back, and he has black jeans with black high top sneakers. He also has brown eyes with black sunglasses covering them. Tobias comes on stage with his blue and white Gibson Les Paul Guitar)**

Tobias: Hello, Denver! Make some noise!

(Everyone cheers)

Tobias: Let's get ready to rock! Hypnotic Melody! Cheer, my peeps, cheer!

(The crowd cheers some more. We then cut to about two hours after the show starts, and everyone is still having a great time)

Craig: (Filming the show) Tobias! Over here! Look over here!

Tweek: (Waving a lighter back and forth)

(Kurt has Annie on top of his shoulder so she can get a better look at the concert)

Kurt: Having fun up there, darling?

Annie: Of course I am! Thanks for doing this, honey!

Kurt: No problem!

(Red is enjoying the show)

Red: This is awesome!

(She hugs Ursula tightly)

Ursula: Enjoying the concert, Red?

Red: Yes I am!

Ursula: I can tell because of the way you're holding me!

Red: Oh, I'm holding you? Sorry. (She lets go and blushes)

(Mr. Alex Slave is enjoying the show quite thoroughly)

Alex Slave: Woo! Tobias Shredder! (Flashes his man breasts at him) Woo!

(Tobias Shredder walks to the front of the stage)

Tobias: (Holds the microphone out to the audience) Can my ladies make some noise!

(The girls begin to cheer)

Wendy: Woo!

Millie: Right here, Mr. Shredder!

Annie: Up here, Tobias!

Urusla & Red: Over here, Tobias! We love you!

Butters: (Jumps up and down) There are also men in the crowd tonight! Involve us!

Leon: (Also jumping up and down) Give my fifteen minutes of fame, bud! Right here!

Tobias: Which one of you ladies would like to party with me tonight like it's 1999?

(The ladies in the audience cheer louder as Tobias looks into the crowd)

Tobias: My oh my! Lot of babes in the audience to choose from! But which one do I want?

(He then looks down in the front row and tries to choose between Wendy, Red, Annie, Millie, and Ursula. Eventually he points at…)

Tobias: (Pointing at Millie) You there in the lime green sundress! Come up on stage and be my Candy Girl!

Millie: Oh my god! He chose me! (Turns to her other four female friends) Come on and join me!

Annie: (Tears up due to jealousy) No. He wants you!

Millie: Okay! (She jumps on stage with Tobias)

Tobias: Tell me sweetness, what's your name?

Millie: The name's Millie.

Tobias: Ah, such a beautiful name for a beautiful babe! Now let's groove tonight! (She kisses Millie's hand causing her to blush)

Annie: (Under her breath as she tears up even more) I hate her so much right now.

Kurt: (Tries to calm her down) Easy there, Annie.

Kyle: Leave her be, Kurt.

Kenny: Yeah. She's just peanut butter and jealous!

Annie: Shut it! I'm not jealous.

Alex Slave: I am! (Yells at Tobias) When is it the men's turn to go up on stage?!

Sam: (Chuckles) Down boy, heel!

(On stage, Millie is dancing with Tobias on stage. She is having a grand old time up there with him, after all, it's not every day where you dance with a celebrity on a stage in front of thousands of people)

Tobias: (Enjoying Millie's movements) I would say you give love a bad name, but damn you a sexy chick! (Millie giggles)

Tweek: (Yells to the audience) That's our friend up there! You all jelly?!

Kevin: Calm down, Tweek. I don't think they care.

(Millie continues to dance with Tobias. She even begins to get close to him. So much so that she starts to grind on him, shocking her friends)

Wendy: Is she grinding on him?

Stan: Yup.

Tobias: (Blushing) Oh, you're stirring something up in my land down under! (Chuckles) Would you like to hang out with me backstage, Millie?

Millie: Sure, I'd love to! But if you're going to do to me what I think you're going to do…don't hesitate to be rough.

Tobias: Oh, I won't hesitate at all, because you're love is my drug, sweetie! (He turns to the audience) Let's hear it for Millie everybody! The queen of rock n' roll! (The two of them go backstage as the concert ends)

(Sometime after the concert ended and everyone has gone home, Sam and his other 15 friends are still waiting for Millie to come back to them)

Sam: (Yawns) Where the hell is Millie. It's been an hour and half since she went back stage with Tobias.

Cartman: Maybe she was up for more than one round if you know what I mean?

Kurt: (Comforting a sleeping Annie on his lap) Or maybe Tobias is having his personal chef make her a delicious meal. I bet he has his chef make all kinds of meals back there. If so, I want to see what kind of fancy cutlery he's using!

Kyle: Well my parents told me to be home 2:30 A.M at the latest, and it's almost 1:30. Maybe we should go back there and check on her.

Red: Good call.

(The group head backstage. But Wendy sees a pair of red polka dot boxers on stage. She picks them up and remembers that her friend Sam has underwear just like this)

Wendy: Sam, put your underwear back on!

Sam: No!

(As our heroes head backstage, they see Tobias, his crew, and Millie getting ready to board Tobias' bus. Our heroes go up to Millie)

Millie: Oh, hey guys.

Kyle: Come on, Millie, it's time to go.

Millie: Yeah, here's the thing…I'm not going with you guys.

Alex Slave: Say what now?

Tobias: She's saying…Na, na! Na, na, na, na! Hey, hey, hey! Goodbye!

Ursula: Wait! Millie, are you going with him?!

Millie: Hell yeah! Tobias is a great guy! He knows how to treat a woman, and he's quite the charmer.

Butters: Okay, right now, this is turning out like every domestic abuse documentary I've ever seen. He's the Ike to your Tina, the Bobby to your Whitney, the Chris to your Rihanna!

Millie: Are you done?

Butters: Yeah, I'm done!

Millie: Guys, I love you all, but this is my life to live! Besides, I'm 18 years old now! That legally makes me an adult, so I have the freedom to move out of my parents house whenever I want. That day is today my friends. Besides, if I get with a popular rock star like Tobias, then I'm set for life! I'll never have to work again!

Craig: Millie, don't do this! You're making a big mistake!

Tobias: (From inside the bus) Hey, baby, you coming?

Millie: Yes, my handsome virtuoso! (Turns to her friends) Well, I'm out of here! So long, suckers! I'm on my way to the good life!

(She boards the bus and it takes off)

Wendy: So I guess that's it.

Leon: Yeah, Millie's gone, never to return to us again.

Sam: Darn shame…I got dibs on any video games she has!

Leon: Oh no you're not!

Annie: Any make-up she has is mine now!

Wendy: In your dreams!

Alex Slave: Give me all of her CDs. Especially any CDs that have Justin Timberlake, One Direction, or the Jonas Brothers.

Red: I get the t.v in her room!

(As the group continue to fight over Millie's possessions, we cut back to Cody's mansion in South Park Hills, where Cody is taking it upon himself to do some research in his personal study on what he saw at the cemetery. With bottles of sparkling water and a plate of fudge brownies next to him, he switches from looking at his books to looking at the computer)

Cody: (Chewing on a brownie as he looks on the computer) Eight advocates? Blood of mortals? 13 stones? What does this all mean? (He clicks a link to a website and reads it) It's customary that when a believer in the satanic faith dies due to blood loss or heart problems, other devil worshipers gather the blood of 100 mortals and inject said blood into the dead person in hopes of reviving the person. Hmmm…

(He takes a sip from his sparkling water and reads from a book)

Cody: In ancient times, whenever someone is sealed away with some black magic, and a barrier is blocking the path to the sealed one, 13 stones appear in random locations around the world. If all 13 stones are destroyed, the barrier will be broken, and anyone can enter the resting place of the sealed one.

(He eats another brownie as he looks on the computer again)

Cody: But what's with the eight advocates bit? (He clicks on a link and reads the website) If the person in need of the mortal blood is one of Satan's children, then Satan himself will have his eight advocates embark on a mission to inject the blood into wherever his child his resting. Satan also chooses eight new advocates every 10 years or so, and his last selection occurred in the year 2016. (To himself) So this is the 9th year he has these eight advocates.

 **(Author's Note: Since this is a time skip, the events from this chapter onward will take place in the year 2025)**

(He grabs another book titled, "Devil's Advocates Throughout the Years." Sam flips through the book and goes to the most recent page, "2016-presnet". The page he lands on…is a page of Tobias Shredder)

Cody: Tobias Shredder?! That rocker?! He's an advocate of Satan! (He reads the book) Tobias Shredder was a musical prodigy ever since he was a kid. He started his career in middle school, and proved to be very competent in juggling music and his studies. When he graduated high school, however, he couldn't get his band off the ground. It was then that he made a deal with the devil, saying that he'll make him famous if he becomes an advocate for him! (He stops reading) Unbelievable! Rock star over here is working for the devil! This isn't good.

(Meanwhile, in some unknown location, Tobias' bus is pulled over on the side of the road. They decide to rest for the night. The bus driver, Millie, and Tobias' band members are asleep on the bus, but Tobias decided to step out. He walks down the road with his guitar/gun hybrid as seen earlier, when he finds a hitchhiker walking down the road)

Tobias: Hey there!

Hitchhiker: Hey, aren't you Tobias Shredder?!

Tobias: That I am, dear friend.

Hitchhiker: What are you doing here?

Tobias: I'm on my way to Miami for my next big gig! But tell me, sir. Do you like my face?

Hitchhiker: It's a handsome face, why?

Tobias: Because I want it to be the last face you ever see! (He takes out his guitar/gun and fires it, taking the hitchhiker's head right off. Tobias then takes out a flask, and pours the hitchhiker's blood into it as he chuckles to himself) Don't worry Damien, I'll give you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff! You'll be revived soon enough. (He walks back to the bus).

(We cut to the next morning at Annie and Kurt's workplace, which also happens to be Annie's family business, Knitts' Bakery. Annie and Kurt are busy filling the display cases with delicious treats as they are having a discussion about what happened last night)

Kurt: I'm a little worried about Millie. I mean, I understand that she's 18 and she's allowed to make her own decisions, but running away with some rock star isn't exactly what I call a smart decision. Not to mention she still has to graduate high school!

Annie: It's not our place to judge people by their decisions, Kurty.

Kurt: I know sweetie, but I'm just worried.

Annie: I know what'll cheer you up. How about a round "Would You Rather"?

Kurt: Eh, sure.

Annie: Okay, would you rather be stranded on a deserted island, or would you rather be stranded in space.

Kurt: Do people know I'm stranded on an island or in space.

Annie: Nope.

Kurt: What do I have to survive in either scenario?

Annie: Nothing. There are no plants or living beings on the island and there is no food for you in space.

Kurt: Do I have a means to contact others in either scenario?

Annie: Nope.

Kurt: You know what, I'd say I'd rather be stranded in space, just so I can say that I saw the planet Earth from a distance before I die.

Annie: You know, that's interesting, I'd also say that I'd rather be stranded in space.

Kurt: Okay, now I have one. You could either become a billionaire at the cost of your arms and legs, making you limbless, or you could be super strong and have a clean bill of health but live in a cardboard box on the street.

Annie: Let's see now (She thinks when the door to the baker opens. It's Red)

Red: Hey guys.

Kurt: Hey, Red! What brings you by?

Red: I just wanted to talk to you two about something. When do you two go on break?

Annie: Very soon actually. Just take a seat over there and we'll be right there.

(Red takes a seat near the window, and about five minutes later, Annie and Kurt come and sit with her)

Kurt: So, what's up?

Red: Okay. There's something very important that I have to tell you all. Something that is life changing for us all, but mostly me. So brace yourselves when I tell you two this because it's going to be one wild ride. Here we go! Kurt, Annie…I think I might be a lesbian, and I think I'm in love with Ursula! There I said it!

Annie: To be honest, Red, we kind of knew you were a fan of the woman.

Red: Wait, you did?

Kurt: Yeah. We see the way you react whenever Ursula is around. You get all flustered and confused. You get twinkles in your eyes. You hug her at complete random. I've seen it before, and not just with gay couples.

Annie: You've seen Red's behavior before?

Kurt: Yeah. If I'm not mistaken, it's the same behavior you had when you first met me.

 **(Insert flashback to when Annie met Kurt in Prologue 4: Butterballs complete with I Just Died in your Arms Tonight, here)**

Annie: Oh right. Sorry about that.

Kurt: Don't worry about it. Actually, you were kind of cute when you acted flustered around me.

Annie: (Blushes and giggles)

Red: Believe it or not, you two are the first people I've ever came out to. I haven't told my parents yet.

Annie: Why not?

Red: Because I'm afraid of what they'll say when the find out I'm gay. For the past 18 years, they think that I'm a fan of the man…but really I have eyes for that pink canoe.

Annie: Pink canoe? What's that?

Kurt: See, babe, the pink canoe is what some men call…well…how do I put this.

Annie: Oh, is it the vagina?

Kurt: Yes, it is the vagina.

Annie: Anyway, I wouldn't worry about what your parents would do when you tell them about your sexuality. If they loved you, they wouldn't care if you were straight, gay, bi, trans. You're their only daughter, and I'm sure they'll always love you no matter what.

Red: I suppose you're right. I'm going to go face them right now and tell them exactly.

(She leaves, and holds the door open for Cody, who enters the bakery holding some papers and his books)

Kurt: Hey, Cody! What's up!

Cody: I'm holding a meeting here after the research I've done about Tobias Shredder.

Kurt: Tobias? Yeah, he was pretty cool. You missed one hell of a concert, bud.

(Suddenly, the likes of Sam, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Heidi, Kevin, Butters, Craig, Tweek, and Token enter the bakery)

Cody: So I guess you guys are the only ones coming?

Sam: Yeah. We tried to get in contact with the other saints, but they were all busy.

Heidi: So, why'd you call us all here, Cody?

Cody: Late last night, I managed to dig up some information about Tobias Shredder. (He shows his 12 friends his research)

Stan: Whoa, what is all of this?

Cody: It turns out our favorite rock star is one of the devil's advocates. As one of the devil's advocates, he's been giving the responsibility of harvesting the blood of 100 mortals. The blood is necessary to revive Damien! Not only that, but at the cemetery, we saw a crypt that had its entrance blocked by some kind of barrier. In order for that barrier to be broken, Tobias needs to break 13 stones that are scattered around the world. If the stones are destroyed, then the barrier will go down, and Tobias can enter the crypt and revive Damien. The same goes for the other seven advocates.

(Everyone is shocked at the information presented)

Butters: Oh hamburgers! This is serious!

Kyle: So, Cody, do you know who the other advocates are?

Cody: Here's the thing. I brought that book at a yard sale last month, and when I looked, the pages after Tobias have been ripped out, so I have no idea who these other advocates are. All I know is that Tobias is not to be trusted. He's trying to freaking revive Damien!

Cartman: Great, just great! We have sick fucks like him trying to revive Damien, and worse yet, Millie ran off with Tobias after the concert last night.

Cody: Millie is with Tobias!

Cartman: That's what I said!

Cody: This is not good! Now we have to worry about her. Okay, moving right along: The reason I called you all here is because I have this!

(He takes out a piece of paper that has Tobias Shredder's tour schedule)

Tweek: What's that?

Cody: That, my friends, is Mr. Shredder's tour schedule. It says here that Tobias will be performing in Miami tonight. We're all going to go there and teach this guy a lesson or two. If we leave now, we should be there before he performs.

Token: Bro, do you even realize how much plane tickets to Miami cost? Especially plane tickets for over 10 people and on such short notice.

Cody: Who said we'll be taking public airlines?

Sam: What are you getting at, dude?

Cody: Follow me to South Park Airfield, and you'll see.

(Everyone but Annie and Kurt leave)

Kurt: Gee, we'd love to come with you all, but Annie and I still have work.

Annie: We'll be there in spirit though, guys! So, good luck!

Kurt: Kick ass and take names!

(At South Park Airfield, Cody takes his comrades down a runway to the Oppenheimer private jet: A white plane with a gold stripe going across and the Oppenheimer family crest on its wings)

Cartman: Whoa, nice plane Cody!

Cody: Thanks! (Opens the door to the plane) Get in, everybody, watch your heads!

(Everyone enters the plane and Cody introduces his friends to the pilot)

Cody: Everyone, this is my pilot Bernard! Bernard, this is everyone…mostly.

Bernard: How you doing?

Craig: Can't complain.

Cody: Get to Miami, Bernard, as fast as you can!

Bernard: Yes sir!

Cody: (Gets in a seat as does everyone else) Buckle up, everyone! This is going to be one wild ride!

(With that, the jet takes off for Miami. Meanwhile, we cut to Tobias and his crew, who have pulled over at a rest stop not far from Miami. Millie is inside the rest stop store getting snacks for the last leg of the trip while his driver is fueling up the bus. Tobias is smoking a cigarette, and his band mates, the drummer and the keyboard player, get off of the bus holding one of his flasks, and they decide to come up and confront him)

Tobias: What's up, dudes?

Drummer: Well, Tobias, it's a funny thing. I was hoping to get a quick buzz on before we played tonight, and I found one of your nifty little flasks. I look inside and I find this!

(He holds out the blood filled flask as Tobias looks inside it)

Keyboard player: Care to explain why you have a flask filled with blood, dude?

Tobias: Well, uh, the funny thing is that…I forgot to tell you all that I'm a diabetic. And I need those blood samples for testing.

Drummer: Really? Then why haven't we seen you take insulin?

Keyboard player: And why would you use flasks instead of designated test tubes for blood samples.

Tobias: Uh. I have a secret I want to tell you guys. Can you guys come closer.

(The drummer and keyboard player inch closer)

Tobias: A bit closer. (They inch closer) Too close, can you step back an eensy bit? (The back up a bit) Good. Listen, I'm going to have to cut you guys from the band because I wish to fly solo.

Drummer: Is that right?

Tobias: Yeah. And while I have 50 ways to say goodbye, there's only one way that _I'd_ personally like to say goodbye.

Keyboard player: What's that?

(Without missing a beat, Tobias takes out two big needles, and sticks them in the chests of the keyboard player and the drummer, and starts draining their blood)

Drummer: T-T-Tobias…

(The two band members fall to the ground dead)

Tobias: Goodbye, my fellow band mates. It was a fun ride. And I wish I could turn back time to the good old days. But flying solo is much more fun.

(He puts the blood filled needles in his pockets, throws the corpses of his band mates into the woods, and runs back onto the bus to fill up two more flasks with blood. He puts the two flasks, and the one his band members found, in a mahogany cabinet full of them. He counts them, and there are 99 flasks in all)

Tobias: One more remains.

(The driver and Millie come back)

Millie: Hey, Tobias. Where's your band mates?

Tobias: (Starts to lie) You're not going to believe this babe, but they up and left me. Saying they quit the band.

Millie: Aw, sweetie. I'm so sorry. (She hugs him)

Tobias: It's okay. I can manage a solo career. Trust me. I'm the jack of all trades, honey, we'll be alright.

Millie: I know we will be. I believe in you, baby.

(Millie continues to hug Tobias as the bus takes off for Miami)

(Meanwhile, in the skies above Miami, Cody's private jet appears out of some clouds)

Bernard: Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin our initial descent in Miami!

Heidi: (Looks out the window and sees the beaches) Wow, Miami! It's so beautiful!

Tweek: (Looks out the window with her) I know! Can we go on a guided tour, guys?

Sam: Pay attention, guys, we're not here to see the sites! We're here to find Tobias Shredder and take him down!

Token: (Looks out the window on the other side of the plane and sees Tobias Shredder's tour bus) There's the tour bus!

(Everyone looks to see the tour bus)

Cody: It is! (Turns to Bernard) Bernard, can't you land this plane faster!?

Bernard: Sorry, master, but I need to find a landing area in the airport, and right now they all appear occupied.

Cody: Damn it! We don't have time to waste. (He goes to a chest and pulls out everyone's superhero costumes. He gives each costume to the respective saint. Kevin doesn't have a costume, but he'll get something even better) Here, everyone! I've taken the liberty to clean and press all of your costumes! (He takes a suitcase and gives it to Kevin) Kevin, here are the DNA samples you wanted Dr. Sophocles to get for you.

Kevin: Thanks, Cody.

Cody: Alright, let's gear up!

(Everyone changes into their respective superhero outfits)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Okay, here's the plan. Sam, Kyle, Craig, and Butters! You four fly after Tobias' tour bus. When it stops, call me on my cell phone and give us his exact location. The rest of us will stay here and wait for Bernard to land the plane.

Kyle/Human Kite: Sounds good.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Opens up his Wings of Heidi) Let's do it!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Has his boom box morph into a jet pack) I'm ready!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Turns on anti-gravity boots that Dr. Sophocles made) Game on!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Everyone hold onto something! I'm about to open the door!

(Everyone grabs onto something and Cody opens the door, allowing Sam, Kyle, Craig, and Butters to fly out of the plane)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to the rest of his crew on the plane) See you all in a bit! (Turns to his other three comrades) Come on, let's go!

(The four boys fly through into the city of Miami. A bunch of the citizens point up at the sky to see the four boys fly past all of the tall buildings. As they are chasing after the bus, Butters is waving down at everyone)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Hey everyone! The South Park Saints of arrived!

Kyle/Human Kite: Calm it down, Butters.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah. Don't forget we're _supposed to be on a mission_!

Butters/Professor Chaos: I know, I know…killjoy. But these anti-gravity boots sure are amazing!

(The four boys continue to chase down the bus and they see it heading for an area of the city that has a bunch of warehouses)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Hey, it's heading for those warehouses!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his phone and calls Cody)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Talk to me!

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody, they're heading for the warehouses down by the shore!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Yeah, I got a glimpse of those warehouses before we made our descent. We just landed and we're heading for you position right now!

Sam/Sir Justice: Great, see you there! (He hangs up and sees the bus stop at the warehouses) The rest of the gang has landed! Now it's time that we land!

Kyle/Human Kite: Roger that!

(The four boys continue to make their way to the warehouses. Meanwhile, Tobias is getting off of his tour bus and makes his way towards one of the warehouses labeled "Warehouse 49")

Tobias: Wait right there, babe! I'll be right back. I just have to get some more band equipment from this here warehouse.

Millie: Okay!

(Tobias leaves and enters the warehouse)

Driver: Ms. Millie, I'm going to take a little walk. I'll be back.

Millie: Go ahead.

(The driver leaves. It's at this moment that Millie decides to look around the tour bus. She first looks at the fancy mahogany cabinet)

Millie: I wonder what's in there? I'm sure Tobias doesn't mind if I take a look.

(She opens the cabinet and finds all of the flasks)

Millie: Wow, he sure does have a lot of flasks.

(She takes a flask, opens it up and sees blood inside of it)

Millie: (Sniffs the blood inside the bottle) Is that blood? What is all of this?

Tobias: (Appears behind her) So now you know…

(Millie turns to face Tobias and he immediately grabs her, causing her to scream. Meanwhile, Sam, Butters, Craig, and Kyle, meet up with everyone else sans for Bernard who is watching the plane)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: We finally made it.

(Everyone takes a look around)

Stan/Tool Shed: So warehouses? This is as generic as an evil villain hideout can get.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I know, so generic. Meow!

Kevin: I don't care about the hideout, as long as Tobias is here. Now then, time to get my beast on! (He takes a needle out from his case of DNA samples and injects it into himself. After a painful transformation, Kevin's arms turn into bear arms) It's almost unbearable how handsome I look with bear arms.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah…you look…great.

Millie: (From a distance) Help me!

Sam/Sir Justice: Millie!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: It sounds like she's in trouble! We've got to move!

(The follow the sound of Millie's voice in hopes of saving her. Meanwhile in one of the empty warehouses, Tobias has finished tying Millie up to a chair. Millie struggles to break free, but to no avail)

Millie: Tobias! Why are you doing this!

Tobias: All for the sake of reviving Damien, my sweet! See, what I didn't tell you was that I am one of the devil's advocates. So my job is to make sure that I have the blood of 100 mortals. With that blood, I can revive him and free him from his prison! You, my little Millie Vanillie, have the honor of being my 100th flask full of blood. That's right, I only need one more flask full of blood before the first part of my quest is complete.

Millie: First part?! What's the second part?

Tobias: Like I'd tell you! You're going to die anyway!

(He turns on a machine. That machine has to long tubes with needles sticking out of it. Tobias is going to use that machine to suck Millie's blood up)

Millie: Tobias, please don't do this!

Tobias: Sorry, toots, but this is the way it's gotta be! Besides, I'm a famous rock star, and you're a small town girl. It would never work between us! (He chuckles evilly as he prepares to stick the needles into her chest. Millie shuts her eyes anticipating the worst) DIE!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (From outside the warehouse) Fantasia of Riches! (A blast of red energy comes through the wall and it's the machine, turning it off)

Tobias: What the hell! (He turns to see the South Park Saints ready to save the day. The attack came from the ruby on Cody's staff)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Knock, knock!

Tobias: And just who are you?

Sir Justice/Sam: We are the South Park Saints! And I believe you have a friend of ours?

Tobias: The South Park Saints? You mean you're the jokers that sealed Damien away? Heh, now I've seen everything!

Token/Tupper Wear: We know what you've done Tobias Shredder!

Butters/Professor Chaos: If that is your real name!

Tobias: Of course not! It's a stage name!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh, really? Well what's your real name?

Tobias: As if I'd ever tell you superzeros! I'm just going to kill you all in the end!

Sam/Sir Justice: We'd like to see you try! (He charges at him and pulls out his lightsaber) Red's Blade!

(Tobias pulls out his guitar/gun and blocks the attack! There's not even a scratch on the guitar when Sir Justice jumps back)

Tobias: (Chuckles warmly and strums his guitar) I've got a feeling that when I start playing…you're all just going to DIE! (Starts firing numerous rounds from his gun and everyone ducks to dodge the bullets) Rock and roll is here to stay! You're not!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Enough! (She pressed the pads on her paws and starts running on all fours super fast) Cheetah Speed, baby! Meow! (She eventually makes it to Tobias) Kitty's Claws! (She scratches him in the face before Tobias could even react)

Tobias: Bad kitty! (He kicks Heidi in the crotch and whacks her in the face with his guitar)

Coon/Cartman: Why you! (He jumps up) Raccoon Slam! (He attempts to slam down on Tobias, but Tobias blocks with his guitar, and Cartman falls down)

Tobias: (Points his gun at Coon) Let the bodies hit the floor!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boom box morphs into arm cannons) Decibel Destroyer!

(He fires an orange blast of energy at Tobias and it hits him before Tobias could launch his attack. Tobias gets knocked on his ass)

Kevin: I'll get Millie! (He runs towards Millie to free her, but Tobias gets up and aims his guitar/gun right at Kevin)

Tobias: Bolero of Bullets!

(Sam/Sir Justice jumps in front of the attack)

Sam/Sir Justice: Annie's Shield! (He opens up his shield and blocks the attack)

Tobias: I'm gonna break that shield! Bolero of Bullets with Gusto!

(He fires the bullets harder and some dents are being made in the shield)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Hyper Voice!

(He yells into his megaphone causing loud sound waves to erupt from it. The sound is so loud that the windows to the warehouse break. Tobias ceases his attack, allowing Token to launch a counter attack. Token grabs a canister full of a green substance and he throws it at Tobias)

Token/Tupper Wear: Jelly Fling!

(The green canister explodes on Tobias, trapping him in green jell-o)

Coon/Cartman: Green Jell-o? Really?

Token/Tupper Wear: Just shut up and attack him!

Coon/Cartman: Got it!

(Anyone with ranged attacks gets ready to attack)

Sam/Sir Justice: Here I come! (He presses the gemstones on his uzis and they start to glow) Falcon's Blast! (He pulls the trigger and a falcon made up of orange light emerges from the guns)

Kenny/Mysterion: Oddity Grenades! (Tosses three grenades with green question marks on them)

Token/Tupper Wear: Volatile Volley! (Tosses a red canister)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches! (Fires a red blast from his staff)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Treble Torpedoes! (Fires missiles from his boom box)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Celebration Cannon! (Fires fireworks)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Takes a yarn ball and puts a stick of dynamite in it) Epic Yarn! Meow! (She throws it)

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare! (Fires a heat blast from his goggles)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hammer Cannon! (Fires a blast of energy from his hammer)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity from his fingertips)

(All of the attacks hit Tobias with full force)

Tobias: BWAAAAAHHH! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(The smoke clears and Tobias is knocked unconscious)

Sam/Sir Justice: Game over scrub!

(Kevin uses his bear claws to break the ropes that were confining Millie. Millie is now freed)

Millie: Thank you, Kevin.

Kevin: My pleasure!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Well, that's mission accomplished!

Kenny/Mysterion: Yup! Millie is free, Tobias is dead. Let's go ho…

(Suddenly, Tobias gets up very angrily)

Tobias: Where do you think you're going with my 100th blood sample, punks?!

Cartman/Coon: How is he still fucking alive after that!? How!? How!?

Stan/Tool Shed: It's anime logic, Cartman. You can take as many rounds of bullet fire as you want and you can still get back up and fight. I don't get it either!

Kevin: Damn it, just die, fuckabilly! (He runs up to him and he attempts to slash Tobias with his bear claws, but Tobias dodges all of the attacks)

Tobias: Shame, boatloads of shame! (He whacks Kevin with his guitar, knocking him to the ground)

Sam/Sir Justice: Millie, head for the airport, we'll meet you there!

Millie: Okay!

Kevin: I'll escort her there and make sure she gets there safe and sound!

(Kevin and Millie leave as the rest of the saints get ready for round 2)

Tobias: You're unbelievable. I'll give you kids that much. (Walks over to a crate) But now it's time to say so long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!

(He places his guitar down on the floor, and with the clap of his hands, it turns into a giant motorcycle with Gatling guns on its sides. The color scheme is orange with a red and yellow flame decal)

Sam/Sir Justice: Now _that_ is a motorcycle!

Tobias: You like it? It's got everything! Like a driving power with big fat tires and everything! And you know what, it looks even better up close! Flame on!

(The tires of his motorcycle light on fire and he charges at the saints, who dodge out of the way just in time)

Butters/Professor Chaos: What the heck is happening?!

Kenny/Mysterion: Looks to me like Tobias is doing his best Ghost Rider impression.

Tobias: Can Ghost Rider do this!? Rondo of Bullets! (He fires bullets from the Gatling guns on the sides of his motorcycle, but our heroes dodge again)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Come on, guys, let's put an end to this ruffian! Meow! (She activates her paw pads again) Cheetah Speed! Meow! (She charges at Tobias)

Tobias: Catch me if you can, kitty cat! (He drives off just as Heidi was about to swipe at him with her claws)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: A little game of cat and mouse, eh? Count me in! (She gives chase to Tobias and his motorcycle, but every time she tries to attack him, Tobias drives away)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Wow, replace Tobias with one of those lazer pointers and you have every funny cat video ever on the internet.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Still chasing Tobias) Get back here! Come on! (Gets more and more winded as she goes on) I'm gonna get you (Pant!) Only a matter of…(Pant)…of time. (Pant) Oh God! (She collapses) So winded. So tired! Meow! I'm sorry guys. I failed!

Sam/Sir Justice: Don't get down on yourself, Heidi. You're just approaching it the wrong way. I say we all huddle up and come up with a plan!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Okay.

(The saints huddle up and formulate a plan)

Tobias: So, can I kill you all now or when you're done with your little pow wow?

(The saints release their huddle and get ready to fight)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, let's do it!

Tobias: Come on!

(Tobias' tires ignite again and he charges at them)

 **(Cue Hot Wind Blowing from Metal Gear Rising Revengeance)**

(Our heroes dodge out of the way of the motorcycle)

Sam/Sir Jusitce: Everyone, get ready to attack!

(Everyone scatters around the warehouse and fires their best ranged attacks at Tobias, but Tobias dodges them all)

Sam/Sir Justice: Keep up the pressure, guys! Hit him hard!

 **(The hot wind blowing. Jagged lines across the sand. The crumbling buildings. In our minds are all that stand. Just like the buffalo blindly following the herd. We try to justify all the things that have occurred. I don't know what I've been told, but the wishes of the people can't be controlled. I don't know what I've been told, but the wishes of the people can't be controlled.)**

Tobias: (Laughing maniacally as he dodges all of their attacks, leaving any and all explosions from these attacks behind him) Ride, ride, ride, let it ride! You can't catch me, kiddies!

(Tobias keeps dodging all of the attacks, taking an occasion shot from his Gatling guns, but our heroes dodge the bullets as he fires them. Eventually, Tobias rides up to one of the corners for the warehouse)

Tobias: Time to back it up like a Tonka truck.

Stan/Tool Shed: I wouldn't be so sure, boy-o!

Tobias: Huh?

(Tobias turns around and sees that the 11 Saints have him surrounded)

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah! My plan worked!

 **(Heat of the desert. Dust settles on my face. Without a compass. The soldier knows no disgrace. Out of the ashes. The eagle rises still. Freedom is calling to all men who bend their will)**

Tobias: This was your plan the whole time? To corner me!

Sam/Sir Justice: Yup! And now, Tobias, it's time to put an end to your tour of destruction!

Tobias: Fuck you, you Batman rip-off!

Kenny/Mysterion: Uh, nope, that's me.

Tobias: Who asked you?! I'm gonna mow you bastard's down! Starting with Coon face over there!

Token/Tupper Wear: (Insulted) Hey!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I believe he means Cartman, Token.

Token: Oh, right.

Tobias: Ready or not, here I come! (He speeds towards Cartman/Coon, who takes out a big cleaver from his pocket)

Cartman: Rodent's Cleaver! (He blocks the entire motorcycle from running him over)

 **(Here I am! Dirty and faceless, waiting to heed your instruction! On my own! Invisible warrior, I am a wind of destruction (Instrumentals))**

(Tobias and Cartman enter a power struggle with each other. With one yell, Cartman puts more force on the bike, causing it to flip over, causing Tobias to go flying across the warehouse. The broken bike reverts back into a broken guitar/gun)

Coon/Cartman: He's off the bike! Someone get this bastard now!

Sam/Sir Justice: I'll take care of this scumbag! After all it is _my_ fanfiction.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Did he just break the fourth wall?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Yup.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Steps up) It's over Tobias! It's time you face the music!

Tobias: (Takes out some pistols from his pocket) No! I'm not done yet! I have one more shot! One more round! End of the night you're going down!

(He begins firing the bullets at Sir Justice, but he dodges them thanks to the use of Cody's speed boots)

 **(We fight for justice in a forgotten place. Fulfill our duty then vanish without a trace. Don't need a medal for all the men we killed! Freedom is calling to all men who bend their will! WE ARE THE SAINTS BITCH!)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Continue to dodge the bullets until Tobias runs right out of them)

Tobias: Damn it all!

Sam/Sir Justice: Out of ammo, huh? That's a shame…for you! But for me, it makes my job a lot easier!

Tobias: No, stay back!

Sam/Sir Justice: Time I give you an attack from Millie with love! (He charges at Tobias)

Tobias: Stop…STOP!

Sam/Sir Justice: FIST OF MILLIE! (He punches Tobias so hard that he's knocked unconscious) That's all folks!

 **(End song)**

Kyle/Human Kite: Nice work, Sam!

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks! Heidi, can I see one of your yarn balls?

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Sure.

(Sam takes the yarn ball from her and wraps Tobias up with it. He then gives the wrapped up Tobias to his comrades)

Sam/Sir Justice: You guys take Tobias back to the plane so we can turn him in back home. I'll go look for the blood he's collected on the tour bus and dispose of it.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Okay, Sam, we'll see you back at the airport.

(Everyone goes their separate ways. Sam boards the tour bus, sees the mahogany cabinet, and finds the blood filled flasks. It's then that he takes all of the flasks and dumps the contents into the ocean, getting rid of the blood once and for all)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Stares at the flasks as they sink into the water) Not the most efficient way to get rid of the blood, but it's out of the way. Time to go home. (Stares at the sunset over the horizon) Thank you, Miami, good night!

(He walks off to the airport)

(Meanwhile, back in South Park, Kurt is over at Annie's house for date night, and he's cooking her favorite dish: Chicken parmesan with spaghetti noodles)

Kurt: (From the kitchen) Dinner will be ready in a few moments, my love!

Annie: Thanks, sweetie!

(Suddenly, a knock on the door occurs)

Annie: I'll get it.

(Annie opens the door and finds a depressed looking Red at the door)

Annie: Hey, Red, what's up?

Red: (Sigh) Well, I've told my parents about my sexuality.

Annie: That's great!

Kurt: (Places the dinner dishes on the dining room table and looks in Annie's direction) Who is it, hon?

Annie: It's Red. She told her parents about her sexuality.

Kurt: That's great! Don't leave us in suspense, Red, how did it go.

Red: (Sighs) Well…I told my parents about my sexuality…and…and…(She's fighting back tears)

Annie: (Grows concerned) Red…what happened? Is everything okay?

Red: They…they…THEY KICKED ME OUT! (She hugs Annie and starts to bawl her eyes out)

Kurt: Oh dear.

(Annie held Red as she continued to cry on her shoulder. Annie tries to rub her back to comfort her)

Red: (Snivel) I have nowhere else to go!

Annie: Red, what happened?

Red: I told my parents and they got furious with me saying they don't want a faggot living under their roof! (Continues to cry)

Kurt: That's messed up!

Red: I know. They didn't even let me pack my bags! They just threw me right out the front door, like, "La-Di-Da! Fuck Red!" (Continues to bawl)

Kurt: Red, we are so sorry, we didn't know this would happen.

Red: It's not your fault guys. All you did was encourage me to come clean. It's not your fault that I was kicked out, it's my parents' fault. But what am I going to do now? I have nowhere else to go.

Annie: Well, my parents are still at the bakery, but when they get home, we can ask if they can put you up.

Red: (Sniff) You think they'll do that?

Annie: Are you kidding? You've been my best friend since we were in kindergarten! To my parents, you're like a second child. I'm sure they'll put you up.

Red: Thanks, Annie.

Kurt: I just got done cooking up some chicken parmesan. I think there's some left over in the kitchen if you want me to make you a plate.

Red: (Wipes the tears from her face and smiles) I'd like that.

Kurt: Okay. (He goes back in the kitchen)

Annie: (Hugs Red again) Everything is going to be alright, Red.

Red: Thank you guys. Honestly. You're the best friends I could ever ask for.

Annie: Don't mention it, Red. That's what friends are for.

(Meanwhile, the Oppenheimer jet is flying back to South Park. Tobias is still unconscious and tied up in the cargo hold, so DJ C-Rage, Coon, Professor Chaos, and Mysterion are in the cargo hold with him to keep a watchful eye over him. We cut back to the main part of the plane where everyone else is chilling out)

Millie: Well, I guess an apology is in order. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you guys about Tobias. If I hadn't run off with him, none of this would be happening.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: It's okay, Millie.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: You were just so awestruck with Tobias that you couldn't control yourself.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: And on a positive note, we managed to catch one of the eight advocates. Which means that there are seven remaining now, right?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: That's right. Anyway, we hope you didn't suffer too much with Tobias.

Millie: It wasn't all bad.

Sam/Sir Justice: How so?

Millie: Well, let's just say that Tobias can tag it, bag it, and sell it to the butcher! Mmm!

(Everyone is disturbed)

Stan/Tool Shed: Okay…

Millie: No joke, his thing was about this long (Holds her two index fingers out to give an estimated length) and this big around (Makes a hole with her thumb and pointer finger)

Kyle/Human Kite: Please stop talking…

Millie: (Giggles to herself) Sorry, I forgot that I'm dealing with major prudes here.

(Everyone busts out laughing)

Sam/Sir Justice: So, we cool now, Millie?

Millie: Yeah, we're cool.

Sam/Sir Justice: Great. (They shake hands, happy to be reunited) Now let's get home! I'm in the mood for some Chinese food at City Wok.

Token/Tupper Wear: You read my mind, bud!

(Meanwhile, in some mansion somewhere, a man that is wearing a long black trench coat, a black fedora hat, metal boots, and a smiley face mask that covers the man's entire head, is sitting on a his couch in the living room watching a fire burn in the fire place. This man's butler comes into the living room with a cup of tea)

Butler: Mr. Smiles, sir. Are you all set to head for South Park and North Park?

Smiles: Yeah. I'm ready.

Butler: From what I understand, you haven't been to the former town in about eight years.

Smiles: That's right. I intend on showing that cowboy town my new show: Death T.V! The bloodiest show on Earth, and the number one way to revive Damien!

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot 1: The Oppenheimer private jet lands back in South Park, Millie thanks her friends for saving her and heads home, as does everyone else)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot 2: Annie is setting up an inflatable matress for Red in her bedroom. They are both wearing their pajamas and are ready for a good night's rest. Red thanks Annie again for putting her up and they both fall asleep)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite. Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu. Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo. Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda. Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot 3: Tobias is in the high security prison that Justin, Trent, Max, and Ethel are being held in. Tobias managed to get his hands on a guitar, and he's having a little concert in the prison yard. Justin, Trent, Max, and Ethel happen to be in the audience too (Max is being rolled around on a hand truck since he can't move anymore) and Justin is waving around a lighter)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot 4: Annie, Kurt, and Red are back at Red's house and they successfully leave with Red's belongings. Before leaving however, Red flips her parents off and runs away)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot 5: Millie is in the backyard of her house burning any and all Tobias Shredder memorabilia. We cut to Cody's mansion where he is still trying to figure out who the other advocates are)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot 6: The Smiles character is at North Park High School holding auditions, telling the students that it's for a talent show. This is obviously a lie, as they are actually auditioning for a spot on Death T.V)

 **(Samayoinagara Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot 7: We get a shot of the orb where Damien is being held underneath the cemetery)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot 8: Sam and his friends are at Stark's Pond on their Spring Break, ready to celebrate the first swim of the season. While swimming however, Red sees Ursula sitting on the dock fishing. Red nods knowing that she has to ask her out, even if she was unsure about Ursula's own sexuality)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(The next day at a restaurant, Red invites Ursula to lunch. Red is ready to tell Ursula how she feels about her, when they get a call on the cell phones. It's Sir Justice telling them that the bank is being robbed again. Red and Ursula change into their personas, Samurai of Light and Madame Knight, and hurry off to the bank. Red is, of course, disappointed that she couldn't tell Ursula how she feels. Better luck next time.)


	8. Death TV (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 7: Death T.V (Part 1)

(It's a bright sunny day in South Park. The first Monday after Spring Break. A private jet has landed in South Park Airfield. This jet is black with a pink stripe doing across it and the wings have pictures of smiley faces on them. On the jet, the same character from last episode, Smiles, is just sitting there, ready for action. It's then that the pilot makes an announcement)

(Smiles is a man wearing a long black trench coat, a black fedora hat, metal boots, and a smiley face mask that covers his entire head)

Pilot: Master Smiles, sir! We've landed in South Park! It's showtime!

Smiles: Excellent. Let the games begin!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (5 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, and Tobias Shredder). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut to the students of South Park High School running to their next class, trying to get back into the swing of things after Spring Break. They just had to tell themselves, "Only two more months and then we are free for the summer!" The principal of the school, who also happens to be Jeffrey Stevens, Bebe's father, makes an announcement on the intercom)

 **(Note: Cody does not attend South Park High. If you recall, he attends prestigious private schools due to his rich lifestyle. So if you're wondering why you won't see him in most chapters involving South Park High, that's why)**

Jeffrey: (Over the intercom) _Hello, students! Welcome back! We hope you had a pleasant and restful Spring Break! Today for lunch in the cafeteria we'll be having macaroni and cheese with some peas on the side. Seniors, please hand in your permission slips for senior trip and prom by the end of this month. That is all, have a wonderful day! Glad to have you all back!_

(We cut to the math teacher's class. The math teacher just so happens to be Mr. Alexander Slave! After he broke up with Mr. Garrison a while back, he got a job in the high school to teach mathematics. Anyway, in the math classroom, the following people are seen: Sam and the rest of the teenage members of the South Park Saints (sans for Cody), Esther, Jason, Lola, David, Jenny, Bradley, and one unknown boy: A new character named Apollo)

 **(Esther let her hair grow, and she is wearing a plain blue t-shirt with a ruffled pink skirt, black thigh high socks, and pink shoes)**

 **(Jason, much like Token, decided to make a man-bun with his hair, has black glasses covering his eyes, purple fingerless gloves, a purple button up dress shirt, blue pants, and black shoes)**

 **(Lola's appearance hasn't changed much since she was 10, except for the fact that she has added a black shawl to her wardrobe)**

 **(David's hairstyle hasn't changed since he was a kid, and he is wearing a white tank top with the number 68 written in blue lettering, white basketball shorts, and white shoes)**

 **(Jenny's hairstyle hasn't changed since she was a kid. She's wearing a sky blue sundress with white shoes and white ankle socks)**

 **(Bradley let his hair grow, and he is wearing a dark blue sweater with black jeans and black shoes)**

 **(This new Apollo character is a bit scrawny, and he has yellow eyes and black hair, and he is wearing a black fedora hat, a black trench coat with a white dress shirt underneath that's tucked into some black dress pants, a black belt with a silver buckle, and black loafers)**

(As everyone is goofing off before class begins, Apollo is reading from a book. There are pictures of armor and weapons. Pay attention to what he's reading, it'll become important later)

Apollo: (Reading to himself) Long ago, there lived a great warrior named Luther Von Cooper III. In battle, this man was a force to be reckoned with. It was almost guaranteed that if he entered a fight, he'd come out on top. And he had his weapons and armor to thank for that.

(In the book, we see pictures of the weapon and armor)

Apollo: (Reading to himself) These include the Wings of Pegasus, Master's Blade, Two Passionate Pistols, Two Godly Gauntlets, Diamond Shield, Comet Boots, Helmet of Honor, and Titanium Breast Plate. When all of these weapons and armor pieces are together, the holder gains a powerful of a god like sort. When Luther had them on, he was almost unstoppable.

(The next page has Luther Von Cooper III fighting against a man with long black hair and wearing a black tuxedo. Luther is leading his army against this other man's army: A group of hooded figures wearing bat masks)

Apollo: (Reading to himself) On one fateful day, Cooper fought against the evil wizard, Carlos Murciélago. He led is troops into battle against Murciélago and his army. While the two armies were warring, Cooper and Carlos had their own battle. The two fighters fought valiantly until…

(The next page shows Carlos hitting Cooper with a powerful magic attack, fatally wounding him)

Apollo: (Reading to himself)…Carlos fired a powerful attack that nailed Cooper right in the heart. The brave warrior had enough strength in him to persevere, and he hit him hard with a powerful slash from his sword! Instead of dying, Carlos just flew off somewhere and sealed himself away, awaiting the day he can resume his conquest of evil.

(The next page shows Luther Von Cooper III opening some kind of time portal)

Apollo: (Reading to himself) Before Cooper died, he opened up a time portal using whatever magic he had, and he threw all of his weapons and armor into the portal, sending them all to different periods in time. He did this so that nobody could ever steal the weapons and armor from his dead corpse and abuse their power. As stated previously, only when all of the weapon and armor pieces are together can their true power be awakened. And thus, Luther Von Cooper III drew his final breath and passed on.

(He closes the book)

David: (To himself) Finally, that nerdy kid got his nose out of that book

Apollo: (Takes a quick glance of hatred at David and thinks to himself) These weapon and armor pieces. I'm going to find them one day and teach all of these pricks a lesson.

(We get flashbacks to when Apollo attended South Park Elementary School, Middle School and his current years at South Park High School. Flashback #1: Some random kids pants him in front of everyone, causing any bystanders to point and laugh)

Apollo (v.o): Ever since the day I enrolled in this shitty school district…

(Flashback #2: Someone broke into his gym locker and made off with his clothes)

Apollo (v.o): These punks made my life a living hell! And why?

(Flashback #3: Some random kids are beating Apollo up and taking his lunch money)

Apollo (v.o): Just because I'm different and I focus way too much on weapons and armor. And I don't socialize with anyone else!

(Flashback #4: Random kids are throwing paper balls and spit wads at him)

Apollo (v.o): I call bullshit! I don't deserve poor treatment because of that!

(Back to present time)

Apollo: (Thinking to himself) They all deserve to pay, guilty or innocent! They'd better pray that I don't find these weapons and armor pieces! (He looks outside the window to see the school's flagpole. Since there's no wind outside, the flag is limp. But Apollo widens his eyes and the flag starts to wave and he thinks to himself…) I'm already a beast with this telekinesis that was given to me upon my creation! I can just imagine the amount of power I'll posses when I have Luther von Cooper III's weapons and armor!

(Suddenly, Mr. Slave enters the classroom ready to teach and everyone stops goofing around)

Alex Slave: Morning, class! Butts in your seats, phones away, books and pencils out!

(Everyone prepares for the daily math lesson)

Alex Slave: (Looks at Apollo) Excuse me, Apollo?

Apollo: Sir?

Alex Slave: I have a note that says you're excused from this class for the rest of the week. Your sister sent it. So, I guess you're free to go.

Butters: Aw, lucky! I wish I was excused from this class

Wendy: Calm down, Butters.

Sam: How odd. (Turns to Kurt) Can your sister actually sign a note to get you out of class? I thought only a parent could do that?

Kurt: Who knows?

Jason: (Annoyed by Apollo) Mr. Slave, shouldn't people like Apollo be homeschooled?

Alex Slave: People like what, Jason?

Jason: Oh, you know, creep bookworms like him!

(The class sans for Mr. Slave, the saints, and Apollo laugh)

Alex Slave: Leave Apollo alone, Jesus Christ!

(Jenny then decides to not only mock Apollo, but also try and get out of class too)

Jenny: (Raises her hand) Excuse me, Mr. Slave. I'm a creepy bookworm, can I be excused?

(The class sans for Mr. Slave, the saints, and Apollo laugh again)

Apollo: (Gets angry and thinks to himself…) Laugh it up you little brat! (He widens his eyes, allowing his telekinesis to kick in. Suddenly, Jenny feels a pain in her stomach)

Jenny: (Holding her stomach) Oh, something doesn't feel right! Stomach…hurts!

(And then…Jenny craps herself)

Cartman: Oh my God! Jenny Simons crapped herself!

Wendy: (Hits Cartman in the stomach with her elbow, causing him to wince) Behave yourself!

Jenny: What!? I don't know how it happened!

Esther: Sick!

Bebe: Gross!

(Jenny starts to bawl her eyes out as Apollo leaves, smirking **(Author's Note: Bass to Mouth reference FTW!)** )

(In the hallway, Apollo is just walking)

Apollo: (Thinks to himself) Little bitch had it coming!

Female voice: Hello, Apollo, my twin brother!

Apollo: (Turns around and faces his sister) Ah, Maria!

 **(Maria has pink dyed hair tied in a ponytail, red eyes, a white sweatshirt, light blue jeans, and white shoes)**

Maria: So, aren't you going to thank me for busting you out of math class?

Apollo: I'm glad you got me far away from that classroom of idiots, but I'm curious as to why?

Maria: Oh, brother, it's our senior year of high school! I think we should have some fun! What do you say we hit the mall for a quickie shopping spree and head back here. We may be late for gym, but I think you need something like this! You've been so stressed out lately and you need to loosen up!

Apollo: Maria, you fool! You're my sister and I love you, but have you forgotten why we're here? Why father created us in the first place?

Maria: I haven't forgotten, there are just things that I'd rather be doing. You know, hang out with friends, go to parties, live it up!

Apollo: We don't exist to party like a bunch of rowdy teenagers! Before he sealed himself away, our father created us 1,000 years ago so that we may continue his legacy of darkness and wreck havoc! We've both lived over 50 lives, implanting our spirits and memories into our descendants. Over the past 1,000 years, I can safely say that I've been holding up my end of the mischief making by toying with these fools using my telekinesis and magic whenever necessary. Meanwhile, you haven't done jack shit!

Maria: That's because I don't see the point in causing mischief and hurting innocent people. I just want to have fun and make friends like a normal person!

Apollo: These people aren't innocent! Trust me!

Maria: Maybe you think this way because you don't socialize or try and be friends with anyone. You're too preoccupied with living up to father's expectations or looking into your books. And also, if father were around, I think he'd be a little disappointed that you're not killing anyone.

Apollo: I'm not trying to kill anyone. If I do, it's by complete accident. I just want to cause discord and distress. You know, burn down a house and make the inhabitants homeless, cause a car crash and have the driver break their bones. However, I had to tame down my mischief since security is getting tighter with each lifetime we live. Not only that, but these South Park Saints that I keep hearing about are running around like they own the place, and arresting people like me. It doesn't exactly help that the saints just so happen to be some of our classmates and teachers. So I need to keep my mischief making on the down low, or at the very least tame it down. For example, I made a girl shit herself just now for making fun of me.

Maria: You used your telekinesis for that?! People are going to suspect something is wrong! Why don't you be like me and try and hold your powers in and be accepted?

Apollo: Nobody has accused me yet! And I don't know if you haven't notice, but I'm not you! So just leave me alone, Maria! Let me do my own thing, and I'll be just fine! I still can't believe that you and I share the same last name of Murciélago!

(He storms off)

Maria: Apollo…brother….

(Later that day, it's time for the senior gym class. All of the seniors are outside playing a game of baseball. The referee of the game is the gym teacher, who also happens to be Wendy's father, Doug Testaburger. The students are dressed in the school's gym clothes: a white shirt with the school's logo on the left shoulder and either green shorts or green sweat pants. They have red and blue badges that Doug gave to them so they know who is on what team. Currently, the blue team is losing)

Doug: (Looks at his watch and sees that class is almost over) Okay, everyone, last round! (Turns to Apollo) Okay, Apollo, you're turn.

Apollo: (On blue team) Uh, I'd rather not.

Doug: You're the only one who hasn't gone yet. Unless you want a failing grade for the day?

Apollo: I thought all you had to do to pass gym was just show up.

Doug: Just come up here.

Apollo: Very well. (He takes a bat from Doug and steps up to the plate. The pitcher for the red team, Sam, is ready)

Sam: (On red team) Good luck, Apollo!

Apollo: Just shut up!

Sam: (Confused) But I really do mean him good luck. Oh well. Here comes the pitch! (He throws the ball, but Apollo misses)

Doug: Strike one! Blue team gets two more chances!

Bradley: (On the red team) Heh, we've got this in the bag. (Shouts to the blue team) You guys will never win with someone like Apollo on your team! You'll always end up losing to us!

Ursula: (On the blue team) Hey, Bradley! (Sticks up her middle finger) Right here!

Red: (On the blue team) Ha, ha, ha! Nice.

Doug: Ursula, Red, let's be courteous.

Sam: (Pitches the ball again, but Apollo misses again)

Doug: Strike two! One last chance! Third time is the charm, Apollo, you can do it!

Esther: (On the red team) Forget about it, Mr. Testaburger. He's hopeless. (Turns to Sam) Sam, pitch that ball and get this loser out of here. Let's wrap this up!

Sam: Esther, be nice.

(Back on the blue team, some of Apollo's other team mates are having doubts)

Sally: (Turns to Maria) Is your brother slow?

Maria: No, he just doesn't get out much.

(On the red team, Bradley is chanting something)

Bradley: Jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx! Don't hit the ball!

Sam: Brad! (Turns back to Apollo) Get ready! (He tosses the ball, and Apollo misses again)

Doug: Strike three! Blue team loses, red team wins!

Bebe: (On the blue team) Aw, damn it!

Doug: Good game everybody. I'll see you all tomorrow. Make sure you put your badges away in this bucket.

(Everyone gets ready to leave as they put the sports equipment and badges away. Most of the members from the red team taunt Apollo)

Bradley: (Blows a raspberry at him) Ha, ha, loser!

(Doesn't help that some of the blue team begin hating on Apollo)

Jason: Hey, next time actually hit the ball, idiot! (Whacks him upside the head and Apollo rubs it)

Sally: (Glares at him) You suck!

(Everyone heads back for the school, but Apollo get angry again)

Apollo: (Uses his telekinesis to lift up one of the baseball bats) We'll see who sucks!

(Using his powers, he flings the bat, and it lands right in front of Jason, who is walking behind Sally. Jason trips over the bat, and falls forward. Upon falling, he grabs Sally for leverage, but accidently grabs her shorts and pulls them down, revealing a pair of lacy pink panties. Sally shrieks causing everyone to turn around in their direction)

Kenny: (Blushing at what he sees) Awesome!

Sally: (Quickly pulls her shorts back up and blushes out of embarrassment) What the hell Jason!

Jason: No, Sally! I swear it was an accident! I didn't mean it!

Bradley: (He's standing behind Esther as he's watching this) Heh, looks like Jason's in the doghouse now!

(Suddenly, Bradley feels a loss of control in his hands. Apollo is using his telekinesis to control Bradley's hands)

Bradley: Hey! W-What's happening!?

(Using his powers to control Bradley's hands, Apollo guides Bradley's hands towards Esther, and he ends up reaching around her and groping her boobs)

Esther: (Gasps and she turns around to glare at Bradley)

Bradley: I-It's not what it looks like, I swear!

(Esther punches Bradley hard in the face and knocks him unconscious)

Esther: Wait until I tell Principal Stevens about what you did, you pervert! (She runs into the school)

Stan: Whoa, Bradley actually groped Esther.

Kenny: Lucky.

Cartman: (Yawns) Well, that was quite the display of violence and perversion. So, who is up for macaroni and cheese?

(Everyone heads inside. Maria is just standing there in amazement when Apollo passes her. Apollo smirks at his sister as if saying, "Yeah, that was all me," and walks inside the school. Maria has a look of worry on her face as she catches up to him)

Maria: Apollo, did you seriously do all of that?

Apollo: Yes I did.

Maria: I told you that you shouldn't use your powers for vengeance! People are going to suspect that something is up!

Apollo: These assholes deserve everything they have coming to them! You don't know the amount of shit that I've been through.

Maria: That's because I try and befriend these people instead of make mischief and continue my father's silly legacy! Maybe you should try being nice sometime.

Apollo: Maybe you should try using _your_ powers for evil at least once, sister! This discussion is over! Goodbye! (He runs away from her as Maria stares after him)

(At lunchtime, everyone is grabbing their lunches from the lunch line. Sam is walking towards his table. On his way there, he passes a table where one of the students is admiring him. That student is 18 year old Kelly Rutherford-Menskin. Yes, the brunette Kelly from Stupid Spoiled Whore episode. Unlike the other girls, she hasn't gotten over her crush on Sam)

 **(Kelly Rutherford-Menskin has her brunette hair tied up in a ponytail, and she is wearing black framed glasses, an orange sleeveless button up shirt, black jeans, and orange shoes. She also has a golden necklace that also acts as a locket. Inside the locket is a picture of Sam)**

Kelly: (Looks at Sam as he passes and she sighs) Oh, Sam (She gets flashbacks to when they dated, and Sam took her to the South Park Elementary School Dance) He was so cute and such a charmer. He knew exactly how to treat a girl (End flashbacks) I wonder if he's still like that?

(Kelly gets up from her seat and follows Sam to his table. At Sam's table, he's hanging out with his old crew, Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula, as well as Red and Wendy)

Sam: Here's to Mac and Cheese Monday, everybody!

Kurt: Yeah, praise the mac!

Bridgette: And the cheese!

(They begin to chow down as Red is ready to confess her feelings to Ursula)

Red: Hey…Ursula.

Ursula: What's up, Red?

Red: I'm not sure how to say this but…I love…utensils!

Ursula: You love utensils?

Red: No, I mean I…love…unicorns!

Ursula: You love unicorns?

Red: Uh, yes! I am absolutely crazy about unicorns! Twilight and Rarity are best ponies! (Blushes out of embarrassment) Oh boy. Excuse me, I have to use the restroom (She leaves).

Kurt: (Thinks to himself) Poor girl. She can't tell Ursula how she feels. I don't know if it's just shyness or she's afraid of rejection.

(Kelly then arrives to the table)

Kelly: (Wraps her arms from behind him) Hey, Sam!

Sam: (Somewhat uncomfortable) Uh, 'sup Kelly.

Kelly: Just wanted to come and say hello (Giggles to herself)

(Wendy looks over at Kelly, as if she's getting jealous)

Sam: Uh, I don't know if you've all met Kelly Rutherford-Menskin. But we used to date when we were kids.

Kurt: Yeah, we see her around the school.

Ursula: Is she one of the girls you saved from Justin all those years ago, Sam?

 **(Note: Yeah, most of the people in South Park know of the South Park Saints true identities. I probably should've mentioned that somewhere, but now you know XD)**

Kelly: That's right! (Nuzzles Sam's neck) Sammy is always going to be my Superman, my Wonder Boy, my knight in shining armor!

(Wendy looks even more jealous)

Sam: I guess you still have a crush on me?

Kelly: It's been going strong for eight years now! I'm just waiting on the day where you finally come around and make us official.

Sam: Uh, Kelly, not that I mind getting hugged by you, but I'm trying to eat lunch. Can we do this some other time?

Kelly: Sure, I'm sorry. I'll bug you later!

(She leaves)

Wendy: (Under her breath) Cooze.

Bridgette: (Notices this) Oh, you called Kelly an obscenity under your breath, Wendy. Do I sense jealousy?

Wendy: What?! No, I'm not jealous!

Bridgette: (Whispers in her ear) You're in love with Sam aren't you?

Wendy: Ssshhh!

Sam: What are you girls prattling on about?

Wendy: Nothing! It doesn't concern you.

Sam: (Shrugs his shoulders) Alright.

Jeffrey: (Over the intercom) _Attention students, a man by the name of Smiles wants to see you all after lunch in the auditorium for a special announcement._

(After lunch, the students make their way to the auditorium to see Smiles. Smiles himself comes out from underneath the stage as smoke machines go off. When he appears, everyone claps out of politeness)

Smiles: Hello, South Park High School! Now, I have a name just like all of you, but for right now, I want you all to call me Smiles! I am here to tell you about the opportunity of a lifetime: A talent show that I'm holding on my own T.V station: Smiley-Vision! And guess what, I'm going to audition you all if you want your 15 minutes of fame!

(The audience cheers)

Smiles: After school today, I'll be here in this auditorium holding auditions for my new show! I already went to North Park and got auditions there for the first episode. Now I'm here in South Park to get auditions for episode two! So if you all think you have what it takes, come back here after school and audition! That's all I have to say, Smiles out!

(The audience cheers some more at Smiles goes off stage, we cut to Smiles as he walks off stage)

Smiles: (Chuckles evilly) Those idiots! They actually believe that they're auditioning for a talent show, but really they're auditioning for a spot on Death T.V! Once they get on my show, they'll be forced to fight my four best henchmen, and they'll promptly lose and be reduced to nothing but a big bloody mess! And then, I'll harvest their blood like I did those poor saps in North Park! (Chuckles evilly) It feels so good to be bad!

(Back outside the auditorium, everyone is a buzzing about the talent show, especially Maria)

Maria: Oh boy, a talent show! I am so auditioning!

Apollo: If you want to audition, why don't you try using your magic and telekinesis?

Maria: I don't believe in using my powers for anything, you know that?

Apollo: Hmph, pitiful.

Maria: So, brother, do you plan on auditioning?

Apollo: Hell no!

David: Yeah, that's because homeboy lacks any talent

(Apollo then uses his powers to untie David's shoelaces and tie them together so he'd trip and fall)

David: What the hell?

Apollo: I'm off to History, good day! (He leaves)

(After school, a whole slew of students from 9th-12th grade audition: First is a 10th grade boy who tries to break dance)

10th grader: Oh yeah, watch this! (Tries to break dance) Watch me whip, watch me nay-nay, baby! Yeah!

Smiles: Next!

(Next is a 9th grader girl who tries to juggle)

9th grader: Okay, here we go! (Starts to juggle, but she drops her balls) Sorry, can I start again? (She juggles again, but drops her balls again) This time for real! One more time! (She juggles one more time, and drops them again) I haven't juggled in a while, so I'm a little rusty.

(Next is a 12th grader boy who tries to play on his cello)

12th grader: (Finishes playing his song) So, what do you think?

Smiles: I think….NEXT!

12th grader: (Packs up his cello) Hmph! Philistine! (Storms off stage)

(Next we have an 11th grade girl who tries to sing a song)

11th grader: (Singing) I knew you were trouble when you walked in! So shame on me now! Flew me to places I'd never been. 'Till you put me down. Oh! I knew you were trouble when you walked in! So shame on me now! Flew me to places I'd never been. Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground! Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble!

Smiles: NEXT!

(After auditioning a few more students, Smiles was starting to lose hope)

Smiles: Ugh, I can't find anyone with good fighting spirit to compete on my show! I mean, nobody wants to see a curb-stomp battle with my mooks versus weaklings like these. I need someone with muscle, someone with skills, I need a fighter!

(Suddenly, Smiles' butler comes up to him)

Butler: Mr. Smiles, sir.

Smiles: What do you want?!

Butler: I just got done talking with the principal of this school, Mr. Stevens, and he said that we should consider auditioning some of the South Park Saints.

Smiles: South Park Saints?

Butler: Yes, sir. They're the group of superheroes that took on Damien and lived to tell the tale. Mr. Stevens says we should let them on the show and give the group good publicity.

Smiles: I like this idea. So, who are these saints?

Butler: Mr. Stevens showed me a picture of some of them. (A door to the auditorium is heard opening) Ah, there's some of them now.

(Smiles turns around and is shocked at what he sees…even though you can't see it because of the smiley face mask. Anyway, Smiles sees Sam, Wendy, Red, Annie, Clyde, Ursula, Bridgette, and Kurt and immediately recognizes the former five students)

Smiles: I know those five. I recognize those faces from anywhere. They certainly have grown up over the past eight years, haven't they?

Butler: Yes sir.

Smiles: I want them! (Stands up) Everyone, auditions are closed, thanks for coming!

Students: (Disappointed) Awww…

(After school, Sam, Wendy, Red, Annie, Clyde, Ursula, Bridgette, and Kurt are walking home together when a black limousine pulls over next to them)

Clyde: What the heck?

(The window rolls down and it's Smiles)

Annie: Hey, you're that talent show guy.

Smiles: Yes I am! And a little birdie told me that you eight are members of the South Park Saints. Why don't you all hop in my limo, and we'll have a little chat.

Kurt: Not a chance, our parents told us to never talk to strangers!

Smiles: (Holds up plates of Digiorno Pizzas) I have Digiorno!

(The teenagers' faces glow)

Kurt: But then again we're all 18 years old, making us legal adults in the eyes of the United States, and we're allowed to make our own decisions.

(All eight teenagers hop into the limousine and it drives off. Inside the limo, the eight teenagers are gobbling up the Digiorno pizzas)

Kurt: If we die right here right now because we hopped in this limousine, I'm glad that my last meal was Digiorno!

Red: I know, right, so good! (Turns her attention towards Smiles) So, what's up with you?

Smiles: As I said, someone told me that you eight are members of the South Park Saints, correct?

Sam: That's right!

Smiles: Well, the person that told me about you guys, the principal of your high school, said that it would bring lots of publicity to your organization if the eight of you appeared on my talent show and showcased you wicked awesome skills. Think about it: The South Park Saints will be a national phenomenon. You're already big here in South Park, just imagine how big you'd all be if you took your fame nationwide on national television!

Ursula: Hmm, I like this idea. I'm in!

Red: Yeah, I am too.

Sam: I think we're all in on this, right guys?

All: Right!

Sam: Awesome! I can see it now. The lot of us will be famous, our names in big flashing lights! We already have Store Justice here in town! Imagine dozens, hundreds, thousands of other Store Justices across America! I bet we'll be so big, we'll get our own T.V show, our own comics, hell, maybe even our own movie deal! And if we really get lucky, we might get our own theme park in Orlando! Oh, I'm so excited! So, when are we meeting up?

Smiles: This Saturday at the Denver Pepsi Stadium in Denver! I have stages set up there already. You eight just have to worry about showing up in your superhero gear and ready to showcase your skills, okay?

All: Okay!

(The limousine pulls over and the eight teens get out)

Smiles: Well, I'll see you eight on Saturday! Don't forget to brush up on your skills!

Clyde: Don't worry, we won't!

Bridgette: See you around, Mr. Smiles, sir!

(The limousine speeds off as the eight teenagers wave after her)

Wendy: We've got to tell our friends! We're going to be famous!

Sam: We've got to tell everyone to tune in to Smiley-Vision this Saturday! We're going to be famous, baby!

(He runs down the street cheering and shouting, jumping all the while)

Annie: Wow, Sam can be quite the excitable fellow.

Wendy: Yeah, he really can be.

(We cut to the big day, Saturday! Sam, Wendy, Kurt, Annie, Red, Ursula, Bridgette, and Clyde are already making their way to Denver, getting a ride from Wendy's father. We cut to Bebe, who is walking up the walkway to Cody's mansion, as she wants to get Cody so that the two of them, as well as Jeffrey, Alex Slave, and Dr. Sophocles can attend the event as spectators. They've already picked up Alex, so now they just need to get Cody and Dr. Sophocles)

Bebe: (Knocks on the door) Hello, Codykins! You're beautiful flower is here!

Sophocles: (Opens the door) Hey, Bebe, what's up?

Bebe: Is Cody home?

Sophocles: Yeah. He's up in his room.

Bebe: Can I see him?

Sophocles: Of course! Come right on in.

(Bebe enters the mansion and Sophocles guides her to Cody's room)

Bebe: So what's Cody been up to? I haven't heard from him in about a week.

Sophocles: He's been busy trying to figure out who the other seven advocates are.

Bebe: Really? I hope he's found something then.

Sophocles: He's my nephew, Bebe. He never gives up, I'm sure he's found something by now.

(Sophocles opens Cody's bedroom door and they find him sleeping on the floor with books strewn all over the place)

Bebe: Cody!

Cody: (Wakes up) Huh, what? (Sees Bebe and Sophocles) Oh, darling, uncle, nice to see you two.

Bebe: Cody, what happened here?

Cody: I can't find any information! I looked in every book, every website, and I can't find anything about these other seven advocates. I'm dead in the water!

Bebe: Have you been doing this all week? If you have, you need to calm down about this.

Cody: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, sure, I'll calm down about it. It's only the fate of the world we're talking about! If we don't know who the other seven advocates are, then there is no way we can stop them! They're going to keep harvesting blood and then break these 13 stones, and the next thing you know, Damien will be revived! I'm so stressed out about this I might just take up my uncle's smoking habit!

Sophocles: I wouldn't recommend it.

Cody: (Sighs as he comes to his senses) I didn't mean to snap at you darling. I just get snappy if I don't get sleep.

Bebe: You haven't slept?

Cody: Yeah, all week. I had to find something out about the other advocates, and I wouldn't rest until I learned something.

Bebe: Honey, you should take a break. Want to come with us and watch our friends compete on a talent show.

Cody: I heard about that. Wendy went crazy on Facebook about it. (Gets up) If it'll get my mind off of this whole advocate thing, I'll come. Just hang on.

(He runs to his closet and gets everybody's superhero costumes)

Cody: You know, in case something happens and we need to stop it.

Sophocles: Right.

(The three of them leave the mansion and head off for Denver. We cut to when Bebe, Cody, Sophocles, Jeffrey, and Mr. Slave arrive to the stadium. The five of them are carrying some snacks for the show. Doug Testaburger waves the five of them down and they sit with him. It's at that moment that they notice Maria and Apollo there with them)

Bebe: Hey, Maria, Apollo, what's up?

Maria: Nothing, I just came to see the show.

Apollo: I would've loved to stay home, but Maria pretty much dragged me here against my will.

Maria: Aw, lighten up, brother! You need something like this to get out and meet people! You'll never experience life if you stay back at the apartment and read books.

Apollo: I was happier doing that but whatever.

Alex Slave: Well he's just a ray of sunshine, isn't he?

Sophocles: (Holding a pack of cigarettes) Anybody know what the smoking policy is here?

(In another part of the stadium, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin is watching the game)

Kelly: Knock 'em dead, Sammy!

(Meanwhile, in the green room, the eight teenagers are dressed in their superhero garb and ready for the show)

Stadium worker: (Enters the room) Five minutes until the show starts, guys.

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay guys, this is it! Get ready to become big!

Stadium worker: According to this clip board, Sam and Wendy go on first, then Kurt and Annie, followed by Clyde and Bridgette, and then Ursula and Red. Okay, good luck!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: We should probably get out there early, Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: Good call. Make a fashionable entrance. Okay guys, we're out!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Good luck out there you two.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks.

(Wendy and Sam leave the green room and make their way to the stadium. We cut to the main stadium where Smiles comes out to the center of the arena and a microphone lowers to him)

Smiles: Hello, Denver, are you ready to rock!

(The audience cheers)

Smiles: Excellent, because we have a special treat for you all on the second episode of Death T.V!

(With Doug and company)

Doug: Death T.V? What an odd name for a talent competition.

Cody: Am I the only one not feeling comfortable all of the sudden?

(Back at center stage)

Smiles: We have eight of the South Park Saints here with us today, and they're ready to dazzle us with their amazing skills! Here's what's going to happen. There are going to be four rounds, and two of the eight saints are going to compete in each round against one of my four fighters! If they can beat my fighters, then they can face off against me!

(The audience cheers more as we cut back to Kelly)

Kelly: (Getting nervous) Fighters? What is all of this?

(Back with Smiles)

Smiles: So let's introduce our first two saints. To my left, we have Sir Justice and the Fuchsia Tigress!

(Wendy and Sam enter the stadium as the audience cheers)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Waves at the audience) Yes, hello, I know, we're great!

Smiles: And then we have their competition, weighing in at 350 lbs, that's muscle, here comes Big Moe!

(On the right of the stadium, a 7 foot tall and ridiculously muscular man enters the stadium. He has a black Mohawk, a black wrestler singlet, and he's carrying around a huge spiked ball and chain)

Sam/Sir Justice: This is our competition?

Smiles: That's right, Sir Justice! To win, all you two have to do is kill Big Moe before he kills you.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Kill?! Hold the phone! I thought you said this was a talent contest.

Smiles: Oh, you pink idiot! I only said that so you'd enter my show! Anyway, good luck to the both of you, you're going to need it! (He leaves)

Sam/Sir Justice: We're in some deep shit now!

(In the green room, the other six saints are looking nervous, now seeing what the show's true intentions are. We cut to the Saints that are watching the competition)

Apollo: Heh, this shit is getting interesting!

Doug: (Gets up) I'm not going to stand by and watch this happen! Hang on, Wendy, I'm coming!

Bebe: Me too.

Cody: I'm right behind you two!

Sophocles: I think we should let them fight.

Cody: Huh?

Sophocles: I've seen these guys' fighting spirit. I know if we let them be, they can pull of a victory. And the same goes for the other six saints that are lying in wait. Let's sit and see what happens.

Doug: I hope you're right. But the moment something goes wrong, I'm running into that arena.

(Cut to Smiles)

Smiles: Let's see what arena these three will be fighting in!

(A spinner that has pictures of a rock, an iceberg, a water droplet, and a leaf is shown and it lands on the rock)

Smiles: And it's the rock field! (Rocks randomly pop up in the battlefield) Let the battle begin!

Big Moe: I'm gonna crush you all!

Sam/Sir Justice: You think we can take him?

Wendy: Anything is possible.

Big Moe: Here I come, Spiked Smash!

(He swings his ball and chain and the two saints dodge the attack)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go! (Takes out his pistols) Bebe's Bullets!

(He fires rounds of bullets, but they don't seem to faze Big Moe)

Big Moe: Spiked Swing! (He swings his ball and chain)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Whips out his shield) Annie's Shield!

(The ball and chain hits the shield, but the impact sends Sam/Sir Justice flying into a rock wall. Big Moe smirks at this, but isn't paying attention to Wendy, who is standing atop a rock formation. She jumps off of it and readies a punch as her boxing glove starts to ignite)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Flaming Knuckle!

(She hits Big Moe hard in the face with her fiery fist and knocks Big Moe on his ass)

Big Moe: You're a bad girl, time for a punishment! (He raises his ball and chain)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Uh-oh!

Big Moe: Here we go!

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, steroid boy! (Big Moe turns his attention towards Sam) Eat this, Falcon's Blast! (He fires the falcon like blast and hits Big Moe in the area where Wendy hit him) You okay, Wendy?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Yeah, thanks!

Sam/Sir Justice: Don't thank me yet, we still have this big motherfucker to deal with!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Right! Let's attack together!

Sam/Sir Justice: Got it! Falcon's Blast! (Fires the falcon like blast)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a huge fire ball from her boxing gloves, think Mario's Final Smash in the Smash Bros. Games)

Big Moe: (Gets back up) Not so fast! (He swings his ball and chain like a fan and blows the two attacks away) I'm going to win this game by a landslide!

(He whacks a big rock formation with his ball and chain, causing rocks to come flying towards our two heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice: Look out!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I got this! Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires her fire balls at the rocks, breaking most of them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Bebe's Bullets! (Fires his bullets at the remaining rocks, breaking them) Is that all you got?

Big Moe: That's it! Quaking Fists!

(He slams on the ground hard, causing the ground beneath Sam and Wendy to shake. The power was so great that some of the audience could feel the vibrations. Eventually the quaking subsides. But while Sam and Wendy are still trying to get their bearings straight, Big Moe uses his opportunity to attack)

Big Moe: The bird man is first!

Sam/Sir Justice: Huh, what?!

Big Moe: Spiked Slam!

(He jumps up and is ready to slam Sam to the ground, but Wendy gets in front of him)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Leave him alone!

(She uses her Flaming Knuckle attack to knock the attack back! It works and the impact causes the spiked ball and chain to break)

Big Moe: Oh boy!

Sam/Sir Justice: Wow, Wendy, you saved me!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Consider it my way of returning the favor for saving me a few moments ago. Now let's finish this fucker!

Sam/Sir Justice: You got it!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Jumps up in the air) Raging Kick! (She comes down on Big Moe with a vicious kick, and knocks him on his ass)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Jumps up in the air next and takes out his ligthsaber) Big Moe, you're nothing but a big loser!

Big Moe: No, stop, wait!

Sam/Sir Justice: Red's Blade! (He impales Big Moe through the heart and kills him. Everybody cheers)

Smile: (Under his breath) Damn… (Speaks into microphone) Sir Justice and Fuchsia Tigress win!

(Everyone cheers some more)

Sophocles: See, what did I tell you all. I knew they'd be fine.

Doug: I suppose you're right.

(Back at the main arena, some of Smiles' servants drag Big Moe's corpse out of the arena )

Smiles: Sir Justice and Fuchsia Tigress will advance to Round 2 where they will face off against me. You two have done well. Now head back to the green room for some R&R!

(Sam and Wendy go back to the green room where they are greeted with loads of praise from their other six teammates)

Red/Madame Knight: Nice work you guys!

Clyde/Mosquito: Yeah! You did great!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Thank you, guys!

Sam/Sir Justice: I just can't believe Smiles lied to us. We thought this was a talent show but it's some kind of fucked up show where we kill each other for others enjoyment. We've regressed back to the days of gladiator battles.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Or this is Smiles' own version of that Wii game Mad World. (Everyone gives him strange looks) What? I can't be the only one who played that game. (Everyone still looks at him strange) Wow, just wow.

Sam/Sir Justice: Save your anger and annoyance for when you and Annie are next to go out there and fight.

Annie/Darling Dame: Speaking of which, we're next, aren't we?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah.

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, here's the plan. Wendy and I are a-shooing for round 2. All you guys have to do is not die, and make sure you take out whoever your opponents are. And then, when the eight of us make it to Round 2, we're going to teach Smiles a lesson or two for lying to us! Who's with me?!

(His teammates cheer)

Stadium Worker: Annie Knitts and Kurt Smith, you two are next.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Turns to Annie) What do you say, darling, are you ready to give these guys a show they'll never forget?

Annie/Darling Dame: Oh yes!

(The two of them leave as we cut to Smiles deciding what the next arena will be)

Smiles: What is the next battlefield going to consist of?

(The spinner lands on the water droplet)

Smiles: And it's the Water Field!

(The arena floor opens up and forms a pool of water with 9 small platforms floating in the water)

Smiles: Now let's introduce our next fighters. Representing the Saints, we have Smith the Kid and Darling Dame!

(The audience cheers as Annie and Kurt come out from the right of the arena and jump on one of the nine islands)

Smiles: And on the left of the arena, we have the one and only, Fish Man Jones!

(Nothing comes from the left side of the arena)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Nothing is coming.

Smiles: Oh, he's here. You two just don't know it yet.

(We cut to a first person view of Fish Man Jones underwater (akin to Morpha from Ocarina of Time and Gyorg from Majora's Mask) he swims around for a big before looking up at one of the platforms. He swims upward and leaps in the air, landing on one of the platforms across from Annie and Kurt)

 **(Fish Man Jones has yellow eyes, sharp teeth, black hair, a pair navy blue swim trunks, gills on the sides of his torso, and webbed feet and hands with sharp nails)**

(Annie and Kurt are shocked at what they see)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: What the hell is this?

Annie/Darling Dame: Did your mother make love to a shark?

Fish Man Jones: It's called a birth defect, bitch!

Smiles: Let the battle begin!

(Annie and Kurt immediately grab their uzis and revolvers)

Annie/Darling Dame: We're going to make Fillet o' Fish out of you! Bullets of the Rising Sun!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Radiant Revolver!

(The two fire explosive bullets at Fish Man Jones, but he dives into the water before the bullets reach him)

Annie/Darling Dame: Where did he go?

(Suddenly, the island they're standing on begins to shake and rock back and forth. Fish Man Jones is swimming really hard into the island Kurt and Annie are standing on)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: He's trying to knock us off the platform!

Annie/Darling Dame: We can't fall into the water! That's exactly what he wants! (She opens up her wingpack and holds onto Kurt) Hang on!

(The two of them fly up in the air, but Fish Man Jones jumps onto one of the platforms, looks up at the two fighters, and opens his mouth)

Fish Man Jones: Bubble Breath! (He blows a swarm of bubbles up at the two fighters, causing them to get lost in the bubble storm)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I can't see!

(Fish Man Jones jumps up into the bubble storm and appears in front of Kurt and Annie)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: No way!

Fish Man Jones: Fish Slap!

(He slashes Annie right on her arms, causing her to let go of Kurt. Kurt goes falling back to the arena and Fish Man Jones follows him)

Annie/Darling Dame: Kurt!

(Kurt lands in the water, but before he could get back on one of the islands Fish Man Jones tackles Kurt into the water, and attempts to drown him)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Struggling to break free as Fish Man Jones has him pinned down under the water)

Fish Man Jones: What's the matter? Can't breath? Bet you wish you had a pair of gills like these! (Laughs sadistically)

(Meanwhile, back in the air above the stadium, Annie looks down, ready for a counterattack)

Annie/Darling Dame: Time to save my boyfriend! (The gemstones on her wingpack's butterfly wings begin to glow) Butterfly's Maelstrom!

(Colorful beams of light emerge from the wing's gemstones, all the colors of the rainbow (Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) and they dive into the water. One of the beams manages to hit Fish Man Jones in the back, causing him to let go of Kurt. Kurt kicks Fish Man Jones in the face before swimming back to the surface and setting foot on one of the islands)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Pants as he sees Annie float down to his side) Thanks babe! I owe you one!

Annie/Darling Dame: Don't worry about it! Right now I'm focused on how we're going to fry this oversized fish!

Fish Man Jones: The only thing that's going to get fried around here is you and your boyfriend, butterfly girl! (Lunges himself at the two fighters) Megaton Jaws! (Opens his mouth wide)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes out his Gatling Gun) Wild Wild Gatling! (He fires a round of bullets into Fish Man Jones' mouth, knocking him back and causing his mouth to bleed)

Fish Man Jones: Hey, that's not fair.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes out his revolvers) Moonshine Blaster!

Annie/Darling Dame: (Takes out uzis) Sunshine Lazer!

(The two fire their beams, but Fish Man Jones jumps into the water to dodge the attack)

Annie/Darling Dame: Now where is he?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Points in the water) Follow the cloud of blood!

(The two look and see the cloud of blood in the water. That cloud is where Fish Man Jones is)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I think it's time we flush this fishy!

Annie/Darling Dame: Couldn't agree more! (She opens up her butterfly wings again and fires up her gemstones) Butterfly Maelstrom!

(The rainbow beams fire from her wings and land in the water, creating an explosion that sends Fish Man Jones flying upward)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: This is it! Shoot, shoot, shoot!

Annie/Darling Dame: Oh, uh, of course! (Takes out her uzis and starts firing upward) Bullets of the Rising Sun!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes out his Gatling gun) Wild Wild Gatling!

Fish Man Jones: (Looks at the two attacks coming at him) Fluke me. (He gets hit by the two attacks and falls back to the arena dead and covered in bullet holes. The audience cheers some more)

Smiles: Crap, they won too! (Speaks in the microphone) Darling Dame and Smith the Kid are the winners! (The audience cheers some more. In the green room, the rest of the Saints chosen to compete are going wild as well) Head back to the green room you two.

(Annie and Kurt go back to the green room)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Enters the green room with Annie) Aw yeah, we did it!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: You guys totally rocked that!

Annie/Darling Dame: Thanks. It wasn't easy, though.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: No kidding, I almost got drowned to death!

Stadium worker: Okay, Clyde Donovan and Bridgette Powell are next!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Prays to herself) Heavenly father, forgive us for the trespasses we are about to commit. Please watch over me and my Clydey-Wydey as we fight to the death against whatever may await us. Amen. (To Clyde) This is it, sweetie, break a leg!

Clyde/Mosquito: Yeah. And, one more thing. (He removes his stinger real fast and kisses Bridgette on the lips and she blushes. He puts his stinger back on) In case we die, I wanted to share one more kiss with you.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Aw, Clyde, you're the sweetest thing ever!

The other six saints: Awwwwwww…..

Stadium worker: Come on, you two, we don't have all day!

Clyde/Mosquito: Right, sorry!

(Bridgette and Clyde head for the main stage as Smiles decides the next arena they'll be fighting on. The spinner lands on the picture of the iceberg)

Smiles: The ice field is the next battlefield! (The arena opens up to reveal an landscape completely covered in snow and ice) Things are about to get a little bone chilling in here. But I digress! Let's introduce the next two saints: The Singing Angel and Mosquito!

(Clyde and Bridgette come out of the right part of the arena)

Smiles: And now, their opponent. Come on out Little Johnny!

(A short midget of a man comes out from the left side of the arena. He's wearing a navy blue suit with black loafers and a red tie and he's carrying around a gray briefcase. Little Johnny is also bald with brown sideburns and he has brown framed glasses. Having seen their opponent, Clyde and Bridgette begin to laugh like a pack of hyenas)

Clyde/Mosquito: No freaking way! _This_ is our opponent?! This guy?! A midget businessman?!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I know I shouldn't be making fun of people like him, but this is too funny.

(The two continue to laugh as Little Johnny just glares at them)

Little Johnny: So, you think my height is funny? You think I'm here to amuse you? Well think again you shitty brats!

Clyde/Mosquito: (Sarcastically) Oh no! He's getting all mad! I'm so scared!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Sarcastically) Please, don't hurt us! What are you going to do to us? Beat us to death with that brief case?

Little Johnny: (Grins evilly) In a way…yes!

(Little Johnny uses the combination lock for his brief case and it morphs into a giant grey colored Transformer-like mecha! A door on the chest opens up and some stairs lower down. Little Johnny climbs up the stairs as the door closes. Inside the mech, Little Johnny sits down on a chair, sips on a cup of coffee. The audience gasps in shock, especially the likes of Doug, Bebe, Cody, Maria, Apollo, Mr. Alex Slave, Jeffrey, Dr. Sophocles, and Kelly)

(Back on the ice field, Clyde and Bridgette look up at the huge mecha with looks of shock and fear on their faces)

Little Johnny: So, who is the little man now?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Clyde…

Clyde/Mosquito: Yeah?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: You do realize that this is probably God's way of teaching us a lesson on how we shouldn't make fun of midgets?

Clyde/Mosquito: Most likely.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Inhales deeply) Well, we're here now. We might as well try and win! (Gets in fighting stance)

Clyde/Mosquito: You know it, babe!

Little Johnny: Let's get down to business, pipsqueaks!

Clyde/Mosquito & Bridgette/Singing Angel: BRING IT ON!

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Author's Note: Sorry for no credits song for part 1. I'm also sorry for any plot-holes that I may have lazily covered up like the bullcrap excuse on how almost everyone in South Park knows of the Saints true identity. Anyway, next up in Part 2 of Death T.V, Clyde and Bridgette fight against Little Johnny, and then Red and Ursula fight against their opponent. Also, Smiles true identity will be revealed. Who it going to be? Find out next time same fanfic time…same fanfic account…..#sorrynotsorry)**


	9. Death TV (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 8: Death T.V (Part 2)

Narrator (v.o): Previously on The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints! We met this new kid named Apollo! He's a fucking dick, and he also has a sister named Maria! Kelly Rutherford-Menskin still has a crush on Sam. Cody still has no fucking clue as to who the other seven advocates are. Some weird smiley faced fuck held auditions for a talent show, but it turns out to be some fucked up gladiator type show where people kill each other for others entertainment! Smiley Face over here has chosen Sam, Wendy, Red, Ursula, Kurt, Annie, Clyde, and Bridgette as his victims. Sam, Wendy, Annie, and Kurt managed to take down their opponents flawlessly, and now it's Bridgette and Clyde's turn to fight! Are you excited for the battle at hand people? No? Well why the fuck else are you here you dumbass!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (5 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, and Tobias Shredder). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(This episode starts where the last one left off, with Clyde and Bridgette getting ready to face off with Little Johnny and his mecha)

Little Johnny: Let's get down to business, pipsqueaks!

(Piloting the mecha, he advances towards the two fighters and raises a fist)

Little Johnny: Steel Knuckle!

(He attempts to punch Bridgette and Clyde, but the jump out of the way)

Clyde/Mosquito: We need a distraction so we can take him down! And I have just the thing! (He takes some of his brown mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Savage Swarm!

(The brown mosquito robots buzz around the mecha)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: That's my cue! (She jumps up and prepares her diamond rings for a strong punch) 50 Carat Punch!

(The mecha swats the mosquito robots out of the air easily, and swats Bridgette into a giant snow pile in the process)

Clyde/Mosquito: BRIDGE!

Little Johnny: Steel Knuckle! (Gets ready to punch Clyde)

Clyde/Mosquito: Okay, you asked for it! (He uses his mosquito wings and takes flight, dodging the punch. He then takes out some kind of gun) Let's see what this new gun Sophocles made can do. Mosquito Mob: Bug Bullets!

(A swarm of gray colored mosquito shaped bullets come out of the gun and they come out so fast that they push Little Johnny back a bit)

Little Johnny: Not bad, but let's see how you deal with _my_ gun! (The knee of the mech opens up to reveal a Gatling gun) Kneecap Blaster!

(He fires bullets from the gun, but Clyde flies away, causing the bullets to hit an ice rock formation)

Little Johnny: Looks like I need to try harder. (His left knee cap opens up to reveal a big sniper. Looking through a camera in the main room of the mech, Little Johnny manages to get a lock-on Clyde) Target acquired! Time to charge my Magnificent Sniper!

(The sniper begins to charge and Clyde notices)

Little Johnny: Magnificent Sniper fully charged! Time for a little pest control! Bye-Bye!

(Suddenly, a green blast of energy hits the sniper and destroys it)

Little Johnny: What the fuck!

(It's Bridgette! She used her Trumpet of the Gods to blast the sniper away)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I'm ba-ack!

Little Johnny: You little brat! I still have my other gun! Kneecap Blaster! (He prepares his Gatling gun, but here comes Clyde to the rescue )

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Drill! (Comes down spinning like a drill and he drills right through the Gatling gun, destroying it!)

Little Johnny: God damn it! I've just about had it with you midget shaming schmucks! So you know what! (The mecha reaches for its back and takes out a giant lightsaber) I think it's time to cut you both down to size. Here I come!

(He swings his giant lightsaber, but Bridgette and Clyde dodge)

Little Johnny: Quit moving and be good little targets!

(He keeps swinging, but Clyde and Bridgette just keep on dodging. They eventually take refuge behind a giant snow pile)

Clyde/Mosquito: We've got to find a way to get rid of that lightsaber. Babe, do you have any ideas?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I have an idea. I'll act as a distraction, and you do what you did to that guy's Gatling Gun.

Clyde/Mosquito: You mean drill it like I'm gonna strike oil? You got it!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Great! Let's do it! (She comes from her hiding spot) Catch me if you can Optimus Slime!

Little Johnny: Come here!

(Little Johnny swings his lightsaber at Bridgette numerous times, and each time she dodges, as she dodges, Clyde flies up in the air and prepares his Mosquito Drill attack. As that's going on, Bridgette ends up at a dead end, surrounded by nothing but ice rocks)

Little Johnny: Looks like your luck's run out, girlie! Shame, I was having fun! (He raises his lightsaber) Say hello to God for me!

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Drill! (He drills right through the arm that was holding the lightsaber, and successfully detaches the arm for the mecha)

Little Johnny: WAAAH!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Thanks, sweetie.

Clyde/Mosquito: I wasn't going to leave you high and dry. I'm a man who loves to see plans through to the end. Now let's finish this! I have a plan of my own.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: What is it?

(Clyde whispers the plan into Bridgette's ear)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: You got it! But do you think we'll be able to lift it?

Clyde/Mosquito: You'd be surprised what your body can do in a life or death scenario, babe.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Alright, we'll give it a try. (She gets up on top of a giant snow pile and pulls out her microphone) Angel's Screech! (She scream really loud into the microphone, causing the mecha to experience electrical problems. The mecha can't move as a result)

Little Johnny: Damn it, this little bitch's singing is giving me issues!

Clyde/Mosquito: (Pulls out white mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Lazer League! (The white mosquitoes use their lazers that come from their stingers and make a hole into the mecha, revealing the location of the cockpit, and Little Johnny himself) Peekaboo, I found you! (Turns to Bridgette, who is still screaming into the microphone) Keep up that screaming Bridge! I've almost got him!

(He rushes over to the Gatling gun that he detached earlier. He struggle to pick it up, but with one scream, a surge of strength rushes through Clyde's body, and he manages to lift it over his head)

Little Johnny: (Looks over at Clyde) Uh-oh!

Clyde/Mosquito: Game, set, match, pipsqueak! (He manages to fire the Gatling gun and the bullets hit both the mecha, and Little Johnny through the hole his mosquito robots created)

Little Johnny: No, no, I will not be defeated!

(The mecha explodes with Little Johnny in it. Bridgette stops her screaming, and they both look to see Little Johnny covered in bullet holes and singed from the explosion)

Smiles: Oh my God, can someone kill these bastards?! (Groans as he grabs the microphone and starts speaking into it) Mosquito and Singing Angel come out on top!

(The audience cheers as we cut to the Saints that are watching)

Alex Slave: I'm impressed! They're actually doing pretty well.

Sophocles: I told you they'd be fine.

Cody: So now all that's left is for Red and Ursula to fight.

Bebe: I know they can do it!

(Back on the main arena)

Smiles: Okay you two, back to the green room.

(Bridgette and Clyde go back to the green room)

Clyde/Mosquito: What's up!

Sam/Sir Justice: You two did awesome!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You guys didn't have to midget shame that guy in the beginning of the match though.

Clyde/Mosquito: Hey, it doesn't matter. He's dead now.

Stadium worker: Last but not least, we have Red Fisher (Note: Does Red have an official last name?) and Ursula Yamamoto.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Alright, let's rock!

Red/Madame Knight: Hang on, Ursula, in case we die, there's something that needs to be said first.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: What is it?

Red/Madame Knight: (Inhales deeply) Ursula…I…lo-

Stadium worker: Can this wait, we have to get out there now. Let's go!

(Ursula and Red head out to the main arena. Out at the arena, the only stage left that hasn't been seen is the forest field. The arena opens up to reveal a grassy landscape with trees and bushes)

Smiles: And last but not least, we have the forest field! Let's introduce our last two saints: Madame Knight and Samurai of Light! (Red and Ursula come out of the right part of the arena)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Who is our opponent?

Smiles: Hunter Jenkins? Yeah, he is already here: Deep in the forest stage. So, good luck.

Red/Madame Knight: What does that mean, he's deep in the forest stage?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Beats me. I think we have to go into the forest though.

(Meanwhile, from atop one of the trees, someone is ready to snipe them down. It's their opponent, Hunter Jenkins. He puts his finger on the trigger of the sniper and takes careful aim)

 **(Hunter Jenkins is wearing military pattern camouflage suit complete with a hat, black army boots, and he is completely bald with a black goatee)**

Red/Madame Knight: Alright, let's go into that forest.

(Suddenly, a shot passes by them, barely missing them)

Red/Madame Knight: Holy shit!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: What was that?!

(Another shot zooms past them)

Red/Madame Knight: We're getting fucking sniped down!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: But where is the attack coming from?!

(One more shot come right at them, but Red takes out her shield and blocks it. She then looks to see Hunter Jenkins sitting atop the tree)

Red/Madame Knight: Up there! (She points at Jenkins) I'll handle this! (She takes out her crossbows and some glowing arrows that Dr. Sophocles made) Arrows of Light!

(She fires the light arrows and it hits Jenkins, causing him to fall off of the tree)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Nice shot, Red. C'mon, let's go check it out!

(The two run deeper into the forest arena and they go to the area where Hunter Jenkins landed. The see the body and it turns out to be a fake! A dummy made out of leaves and sticks)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: This is a fake!

Red/Madame Knight: But…where's the real Hunter Jenkins?

(Suddenly, something leaps out from the bushes behind them. It's Hunter Jenkins)

Hunter Jenkins: AAAHHHHHH! Kill-Shot Knife!

(He slashes at the two girls with his knife, but they dodge)

Hunter Jenkins: Die!

(He charges at them again, ready to slash at them, but Red takes out her sword and blocks it. She then swings it)

Red/Madame Knight: Crazy Claymore!

(She swings her sword, but Hunter Jenkins blocks the attack with his knife and pushes her back. He then takes out a shotgun)

Hunter Jenkins: Savage Shot!

(He fires, but Red blocks it with her shield)

Hunter Jenkins: You bitches heads will look great on my mantle!

(He keeps firing his shotgun, and Red keeps blocking with her shield)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Blossom Storm!

(Blossoms pour out of her sleeves, enveloping Hunter Jenkins, and alloying Red and Ursula to make a quick getaway. Jenkins jumps out of the blossom storm and looks around for his opponents. He then uses hunter instinct and track down their scent)

Hunter Jenkins: Ready or not, here I come!

(He tracks Red and Ursula's scent until he gets to another part of the forest stadium. He reaches the area where the scent ends, but he can't find his opponents anywhere)

Hunter Jenkins: Where did you ladies go?

(Suddenly, Ursula jumps down from the top of the tree)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Love Smack!

(She hits Jenkins on the head hard with one of her fans, knocking him to the ground. Meanwhile, Red is stationed on top of another tree and she has her crossbows ready)

Red/Madame Knight: Crossbows of Honor!

(She fires regular arrows at Hunter Jenkins, and they nail him right in the back. Jenkins gets back up, however, and pulls the arrows out of his back and runs into the forest as fast as he can. So fast that Ursula and Red can't keep up with him)

Red/Madame Knight: (Joints Ursula on ground level) Damn it, he's gone!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: No doubt he's going to try snipping us down again. Let's split up. I take the west side, you take the east side.

Red/Madame Knight: Got it!

(The two girls split up and search their respective sides of the arena. We cut to Red's search. She's looking around for Hunter Jenkins, and then she finds him just standing there, and staring at her)

Red/Madame Knight: Hunter!

(Jenkins is just staring at her)

Red/Madame Knight: Not going to bother fighting back? Suit yourself, it just means that my job is a lot easier!

(She pulls out her sword and charges right at him. As she inches ever closer to him, Hunter Jenkins just smirks and waves. The next thing Red know, she's falling down into a hole that was covered by leaves and twigs. She has fallen into Hunter Jenkins trap. As Red falls, she scream out, and Ursula hears this. Ursula rushes to Red's location. Meanwhile, Hunter walks up to the hole ready to go in for the kill. He takes out his shotgun and aims it right at Red, who takes out one of her crossbows with a loaded arrow)

Red/Madame Knight: You pull that trigger, this arrow goes right for your eye.

Hunter Jenkins: No big deal. I can live with only one eye. But you, you'll be dead. Because when I pull my trigger, your head is getting shot clean off!

Red/Madame Knight: (Growls in annoyance)

Hunter Jenkins: Any final words?

(Meanwhile, Ursula sneaks into the area and hides behind a tree)

Red/Madame Knight: (Sighs) You know what, yeah. I know you probably don't care Hunter guy, but my partner, Ursula…I'm in love with her.

Hunter Jenkins: What?

Ursula: (Behind the tree) Huh?

Red/Madame Knight: Yeah, you heard me. I'm in love with my partner Ursula. Ever since I learned about my true sexuality, there is no one else that I would want to be my girlfriend. The thing is, I don't know Ursula sexuality. But just do me one thing. Before you go and fight her, just tell her from me that I love her and I regret not telling her sooner. I was just too shy and scared to tell her how I feel because I was afraid of what's she'd say or do. Tell her this so that she at least knows my true passions…that's all I ask. Go on, pull that trigger! My game is over! Don't hold anything back. (Lowers her crossbow and sits on the ground, closing her eyes as she waits for her death)

(Ursula is shocked and ready to attack Hunter Jenkins, who is somewhat moved by this)

Hunter Jenkins: Well, uh. Sure, I'll tell her that for you. It almost makes me feel bad that I have to kill you. (Inhales deeply, gets his game face back on, and he takes aim with his shotgun) Well, it's been fun, knight lady, but now it's time to say goodbye. I'll be sure to tell your friend everything you told me. Get ready, because here I come!

Red/Madame Knight: (Holding back tears) Just do it!

Hunter Jenkins: Alright, Savage…

Ursula/Samurai of Light: RAAAAAHHHHHH! (She charges at Hunter Jenkins, who turns his attention towards Ursula) Leave her alone! (Her fans turn into big blades) Razor Fan!

(Using her fan blades, Ursula beheads Hunter Jenkins and kills him. When Hunter's decapitated body falls to the ground, Ursula holds her hand into the hole and pulls Red up back to the surface)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: You okay, Red?

Red/Madame Knight: Yeah. Thank you, Ursula. So, I guess you heard everything?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Yup, every word. Is it true?

Red/Madame Knight: Yes. Ever since the day you moved to South Park, I started to develop a crush on you. And as the days went by, I found myself wanting you more and more, and I had no way of telling you. But guess what, now is the time where I reveal my feelings to you and tell you how I truly feel. Now I don't know what your sexuality is, Ursula, but if you reject my feelings then I'll understa—

(Ursula cuts Red off with a kiss that she graciously returns, causing everyone in the audience to go, "Awww." In the green room, the rest of the Saints are happy to see Red and Ursula together, especially Annie and Kurt)

Annie/Darling Dame: Alright, she did it!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: They're together! Oh my god! (He kisses Annie, causing her to blush)

Annie/Darling Dame: Wow…uh…that was nice, Kurty.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Thanks. Not bad for a "heat of the moment" kiss, eh?

Annie/Darling Dame: No. Not bad at all.

(Back on the stadium, Red and Ursula release their kiss)

Red/Madame Knight: Was that real? Or were you just humoring me?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Oh, it was real. I think you're a cute chick too, Red.

Red/Madame Knight: (Blushes) Really?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Yes. Now, while I have been with a few guys in my time, I've been with a few girls as well, and I honestly think I prefer the company of another girl. Someone I can relate to and hang out with. You're always so nice to me and always by my side, Red. I honestly couldn't think of any other girl I'd rather be with.

Red/Madame Knight: Oh, Ursula…

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Red…

(The two of them prepare to kiss again…only for them to get cut off by Smiles before they could make contact)

Smiles: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lovey-Dovey crap is okay for the ratings, but blood and gore is even better. Which is why it's time for Round 2, where these eight saints will go up against me. And trust me when I say that next to me, the likes of Big Moe, Fish Man Jones, Little Johnny, and Hunter Jenkins are like cute cuddly bunnies. So, to the South Park Saints, I wish them luck…because they're going to need it! Death T.V will be right back after these messages!

(Red and Ursula make their way back to the green room as we cut to the Saints that are in the audience)

Cody: I'm going to use this opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Bebe: Okay, sweetie, but hurry back.

Cody: Yup.

(Cody leaves and we cut to him waiting in line for the men's room)

Cody: (Sighs) I forgot how long these lines can be.

(Suddenly, he hears Smiles throwing a tantrum behind a door that reads "Authorized Personnel Only.")

Smiles: (From behind the door) Damn those god damn saints! They beat my four best henchmen! I fucking hate those punks!

Cody: I wonder what's going on down there?

(Cody looks around to make sure that nobody is looking and he enters the door. Upon going through the door, Cody climbs down a flight of stairs that leads to another door. He opens it just a crack and sees Smiles venting with his butler)

Smiles: I can't believe those Saints beat my best henchmen!

Butler: Yes, Mr. Smiles, sir. You've said that ten times now.

Smiles: Well get ready to hear it ten more times! I honestly can't believe it! They had no troubles beating those punks from North Park and taking their blood, but just because we're going up against the South Park Saints, now they choose to die?

Cody: (From outside) Blood? I've got to record this. (He takes out his phone and records the conversation)

Butler: About that, what should we do with your henchmen's corpses?

Smiles: Well they won't do my any good now. Just salvage any blood that they have left so we can give it to Damien. I don't have time for this, I have to get ready for my big performance. These Saints want to dance, then we'll dance! The sooner I kill the eight of them, the sooner I can harvest their blood.

(Smiles and his butler head for the door. Cody hides behind it when they open the door and they don't notice him. Cody ends the recording and stares after them in disbelief)

Cody: Blood? Damien?! I hope I'm wrong, but I think I've found the second advocate! It's Smiles! I've got to tell the others. (His stomach starts to growl in pain) But first, a quick trip to the bathroom. (His stomach gurgles some more as he runs up the stairs) Damn stadium nachos! Augh!

(We cut to the second round of the Death T.V match as Smiles speaks into the microphone)

Smiles: The time has come for the final match up! The eight South Park Saints that you've seen fight today will go up against yours truly in a totally epic battle royale! There is no rock stage, ice stage, forest stage, or water stage! It'll be you standard normal arena! With that said and done, let's get our favorite heroes up here: The South Park Saints!

(As the eight saints run into the arena ready to fight, Cody comes back to regroup with his friends)

Cody: Guys, you are not going to believe this, but I think I may have found the second advocate.

Alex Slave: You did? Who?

Cody: I think that the second advocate is Smiles himself!

Bebe: Are you sure? I mean, that's quite the accusation.

Cody: Think about it guys. Why else would someone hold a game show where you kill each other in this day and age: So you can harvest the losers' blood when the game's over.

Jeffrey: I have to admit, you make a good point, Cody.

Cody: And if you're still not convinced, check out what I have!

(He takes out his phone and shows his friends the recording)

Butler: _About that, what should we do with your henchmen's corpses?_

Smiles: _Well they won't do my any good now. Just salvage any blood that they have left so we can give it to Damien. I don't have time for this, I have to get ready for my big performance. These Saints want to dance, then we'll dance! The sooner I kill the eight of them, the sooner I can harvest their blood._

(End recording)

Doug: Yikes!

Alex Slave: Jesus!

Bebe: Smiles really is the second advocate!

Cody: If Smiles is in this game, he's playing to win! He'll do whatever it takes to make sure that our friends down there are nothing but bloody mangled corpses by the end of the day. We have to help them out!

Jeffrey: Our costumes and weapons are in my car!

Cody: Let's go get them and gear up gang! Come on, we don't have much time!

Maria: Hey, what's happening?

Bebe: We have to defend our friends! They're no match for Smiles. He'll obliterate them for sure!

Maria: You mean, you guys are gearing up in your Saints outfits.

Bebe: Yeah. Can't talk, got to run, see you!

(The seven hurry off and Maria calls after them)

Maria: We'll keep your seats warm. (She looks at Apollo, who is sleeping) Wake up, brother. I think this game is about to get even more interesting!

Apollo: How so?

Maria: You'll find out.

(We cut to Kelly Rutherford-Menskin in the audience, who looks at Cody and company leave the stadium)

Kelly: What are they up to? (She looks down at the arena and stares at Sam) Come on, Sam. You can do this!

(We cut to the main arena where Sam, Wendy, Kurt, Annie, Clyde, Bridgette, Red, and Ursula are ready to face off with Smiles)

Sam/Sir Justice: Get ready, Smiley fuck face! You'll pay for having lied to us!

Smiley: I had to lie to you eight. I mean, you wouldn't go on this show if I said, "Hey, want to enter my show where we kill a bunch of people?" Whatever, I digress. It's time we did battle. You see this trench coat?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: What about it?

Smiley: There's more to me that meet the eye you know. (He takes of his trench coat to reveal a steel armor body suit painted in gold and silver)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: No freaking way!

Smiley: Oh yeah, bitch! It's on now!

 **(Cue Look Pimpin' from Mad World)**

Wendy/Fuchsia: As if a suit of armor is going to prevent us from taking this asshole down! Let's get him!

(She charges at Smiles)

Smiles: Take your best shot Hong Kong Phooey!

 **(You see my swag. Now you wanna come and give me all this drag? I think you better fight back. Because my hand is itchin' to give you a smack. What's your name again, Jack? It's the end of the road, there ain't no turnin' back. Don't let the fly face fool ya! Matter 'fact, it's 'bout time that I school ya!)**

Wendy: Raging Kick!

(She attempts to kick Smiles in the chest, but the armor is so hard she ends up hurting her foot in the process)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (To herself) Damn, that armor is so hard!

Smiles: Is that really all you've got?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Nope, get ready, it's time! (Her boxing gloves ignite) Wildfire Smack Down!

(She unleashes a barrage of punches at Smiles, but they don't seem to faze him at all)

Smiles: Pathetic. (She grabs one of Wendy's arms and proceeds to do, as TV tropes call it, Metronomic Man Mashing. After a while, he throws Wendy back to her teammates) Next?

 **(Don't worry I'm not in a hurry. I don't even wanna get my fresh gear dirty. A little birdie chirped of your flurry. Now I must nip it, or better yet, bury. Your entity, look at me while I'm talkin'. I heard you was lurkinn', or was it even stalkin'. My program thinkin' you the man in the place. Now it's 'bout time you get a hand to the face)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Fuck you! Falcon's Blast!

(He fires the falcon shaped blast at Smiles, creating an explosion and a wall of smoke upon contact)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Boots, activate! (He runs up to Smiles fast ready to punch Smiles) Fist of Millie!

(When the smoke clears, Smiles sees Sam coming up fast so he launches a counter attack by holding out his right hand. A hole opens up in the palm)

Smiles: Lights, Camera, Bombs!

(Small bombs with smiley faces on them fly out of the hole in Smiles' palm. They hit Sam before he can even make it to Smiles, and he goes flying back)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets up) That bastard is tough!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I've had it with this bastard! Annie?

Annie/Darling Dame: Got it! (She opens up her butterfly wings and she flies upward as Kurt charges into battle)

 **(Look Pimpin'! I ain't playin'. In a minute you gonna be layin'. On the ground I ain't messin' around. My city! My rules! My money! My town! (x2))**

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Moonshine Blaster! (He fires the beam from his pistols)

Annie/Darling Dame: Butterfly Maelstrom! (She fires the rainbow beam from her wings)

(The two attacks hit Smiles, and Annie floats back to ground level)

Annie/Darling Dame: You think that did something?

Smiles: (The smoke from the attack clears and Smiles gets back up)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Damn it! I was sure that was it!

 **(Brim tilted, coat quilted, fresh to death, literally I do kill it. Blood spilleth in this game of death. Yeah, you hear the announcer, but ain't no ref'. I just kept hearin' your name too much. That's it! Now I just came to touch. Your backbone with a boot, a cane to the tooth. It don't take much, now ain't that the truth?)**

Smiles: My turn! (A hole in the crotch of the armor suit opens up) Toxic Flume!

(A load of toxic gas comes out of the crotch and covers the arena. The eight fighters cover their mouths and noses)

Sam/Sir Justice: Don't breathe it in, guys!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: We've got to find a way to shut that attack down.

Clyde/Mosquito: I'm on it! (He takes out a black mosquito robot and sends it flying towards the crotch of Smiles' armor suit) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush!

(The mosquito bomb goes into the hole and explodes, not only stopping the attack but the explosion sends Smiles flying across the arena)

 **(My boo got a thang for you. She really likes money, but the pain will do. You can't hang, you a featherweight. I can't believe that you made it this far, it'll never take. A lotta work to make you levitate. I strike first! Don't hesitate. To populate the murder rate! You just sealed your fate. On the holidays that'll be one less plate)**

(Smiles gets up only to see Clyde coming at him)

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Drill!

(He begins to try and drill tough the armor suit, but to no avail)

Clyde/Mosquito: (To himself) Crap! This armor is made of sterner stuff than I though.

Smiles: You'll never pierce my armor, bug boy!

(Bridgette appears behind Smiles and she takes out her trumpet)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Trumpet of the Gods!

(She fires a green blast of energy right at Smiles' back)

Smiles: GAH!

(Bridgette and Clyde hurry back to the rest of their team…only to see that Smiles is still standing)

Clyde/Mosquito: What is that shit made out of!

 **(Look Pimpin'! I ain't playin'. In a minute you gonna be layin'. On the ground I ain't messin' around. My city! My rules! My money! My town! (x2))**

Smiles: (Opens the hole in the crotch of the armor suit again and a small gun comes out…think of this what you will) Beam of Paradise!

(A blue beam shoots out of the crotch and he attempts to shoot down the eight saints. They dodge each shot)

Red/Madame Knight: I've had enough! (She takes out her cross bows and some glowing arrows) Arrows of Light!

(The Arrows of Light hit Smiles, stops his attack, and the impact knocks him on his ass)

Smiles: Gah, bitch!

 **(You see my swag. Now you wanna come and give me all this drag? I think you better fight back. Because my hand is itchin' to give you a smack. What's your name again, Jack? It's the end of the road, there ain't no turnin' back. Don't let the fly face fool ya! Matter 'fact, it's 'bout time that I school ya!)**

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Blossom Storm! (Blossoms pour out of her sleeves and covers Smiles up)

Smiles: Augh, now what?

(Ursula and Red jump into the blossom storm, with swords blazing)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Razor Fan!

Red/Madame Knight: Crazy Claymore!

(Smiles blocks the two swords with her hands)

Smiles: (Laughs as he pushes the two girls out of the blossom storm)

 **(Don't worry I'm not in a hurry. I don't even wanna get my fresh gear dirty. A little birdie chirped of your flurry. Now I must nip it, or better yet, bury. Your entity, look at me while I'm talkin'. I heard you was lurkinn', or was it even stalkin'. My program thinkin' you the man in the place. Now it's 'bout time you get a hand to the face)**

Red/Madame Knight: Sorry guys. We failed you.

Sam/Sir Justice: It's not your fault, Red. You two tried your best.

Clyde/Mosquito: There has got to be a way to take this dipshit out!

Smiles: There's nothing you weaklings can do to me! With this power suit, I'm invincible!

Sam/Sir Justice: SHUT UP!

(The eight saints launch their strongest ranged attacks at Smiles, (Falcon's Blast, Wrath of the Tigress, Moonshine Blaster, Sunshine Lazer, Arrows of Light, Blossom Storm, Bug Bullets, and Trumpet of the Gods) but they don't seem to faze him)

 **(Look Pimpin'! I ain't playin'. In a minute you gonna be layin'. On the ground I ain't messin' around. My city! My rules! My money! My town! (x2))**

Smiles: What did I tell you guys! You can hit me as much as you want, but you'll never kill me! You jerks lost this fight the moment you stepped into this ring! So, how about we end this with a bang! (He holds out his bomb throwing palm) This is goodbye, my fellow saints! Lights…Camera…

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (From behind Smiles) Fantasia of Riches!

Smiles: (Gets hit by the red blast of energy) BLARGH!

(As Look Pimpin' fades out, the attack hits Smiles in the back and he falls to his knees)

Smiles: What?

(Smiles and the Saints look to see Mr. Gentleman, Sharp Edge Stevens, Sgt. Stevens, Dr. Sophocles, Cerulean Viper, and Glamorous Gardener)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Sorry to be tardy to the party! (Revs up his chainsaw)

Cody/Mr. Gentlemen: Don't worry guys! The cavalry is here!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, guys!

(Back in the audience, Maria and Apollo are watching the game even closer now)

Maria: More of the Saints have joined the fray!

Apollo: Okay, now I'm even more interested.

(Cut to Kelly in the audience)

Kelly: Things should be looking up for my Sammy now.

(Back to the fight at hand)

Smiles: (He recognizes Mr. Slave and Bebe and he thinks to himself) Those two are here as well? Oh joy. (Out loud) Well, it seems we have a few uninvited guests in our brawl. No matter, I'll kill you guys as well!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: You'd like that, wouldn't you. (Turns to Sam and his teammates) Guys, Smiles is the second advocate! I overheard him talking with his butler. He plans on using Big Moe, Fish Man Jones, Little Johnny, and Hunter Jenkins' blood for Damien! And he already has some North Park kids' blood.

Sam/Sir Justice: Is this true?

Smiles: (Sigh) Okay, you got me. Guilty as charged! Not that these people watching us would care. They just want to see some bloodshed!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: If it's bloodshed they want, it's bloodshed they'll get!

Annie/Darling Dame: We'll help out any way we can.?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Don't worry, Annie. The rest of you can hang back. We've got this!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Let's go, everybody, charge!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Let's go get him!

(Bebe, Doug, Cody, Sophocles, Mr. Slave, and Jeffrey charge at Smiles)

Smiles: Good luck to you! Lights, Camera, Bombs!

(He fires the bombs)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Takes out his musket) Mighty Musket! (He fires the bullet bill bullets and they hit the bombs that Smiles launched, creating a wall of smoke) Doug, Sophocles, now is your chance!

Doug/Cerulean Viper & Sophocles: Right!

(The two of them jump out of the smoke ready to attack)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception! (He fires an attack like Wendy's Wrath of the Tigress…which is an ice version of Mario's Final Smash, and he freezes Smiles to the floor)

Smiles: What!?

Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing!

(He swings his scythe and hits Smiles, freeing him from his icy prison, but knocking him on his ass. When he gets up, Bebe has taken some swords form her back and threw them into the stadium floor, surrounding Smiles. She then snaps her fingers)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Electric Barrier!

(Before Smiles knows it, he is surrounded by an electric fence that was formed from the hilts of Bebe's swords)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Mr. Slave, Cody, it's your turn now!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Got it, darling! (Turns to Alex Slave) Mr. Slave, sir, I'll charge up my Fantasia of Riches attack. You make sure that Smiles doesn't launch a counterattack.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: You got it, Cody.

(He runs up to Smiles, who has his crotch laser charging)

Smiles: Time to end this before things get annoying!

(As the laser charges up, Mr. Slave reaches into his bag of seeds and takes out some green ones and throws them)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Vine Wrap!

(When the seeds hit Smiles, they open up and a hoard of vines come and wrap him up, ceasing his attack)

Smiles: God damn it, no!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Cody, he's all wrapped up! Let him have it! (He gets out of the way)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (The ruby on his staff is glowing very bright) Ready! Game over, Smiles! Here it comes! Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax!

(Instead of the usual red energy blast, the Ultimax version fires a big pink blast of energy. The attack hits Smiles and blows his mask and fedora off in the process. When the smoke clears, the vines from the seeds have disappeared, and Smiles has his back turned and he's on his knees)

Red/Madame Knight: Hey, check it out! (She points at the smiley face mask, which was blown off of Smiles head) Smiles' mask!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: No doubt my attack blew the mask right off of his head. Now we can find out who Smiles really is.

Sam/Sir Justice: Get up, Smiles! Show yourself!

(Smiles gets up, with his back turned and head hung down so they couldn't see his face)

Sam/Sir Justice: Turn around! Who are you?

(To everyone's shock, Smiles begins to talk, but they hear a female's voice…and a rather familiar one at that)

Female voice: All I wanted…all I wanted was a little revenge on you assholes for ruining my life. But, of course, you all had to make it difficult by killing my henchmen, and by having your goody-goody comrades back you up!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Ruining your life? What are you talking about? Who are you?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Hang on. I know that voice. Could it possibly be…(Her eyes widen with shock) Wait…it can't be. Is it…

(Smiles laughs as she turns around and reveals her true self…Paris Hilton!)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: It is!

Sam/Sir Justice: No fucking way! All this time, Smiles was just Paris God Damn Hilton!

Paris: Surprise motherfuckers! (Coughs up some semen)

 **(Author's Note: The audience sees that Smiles is Paris Hilton, they just can't hear the conversation that she's having with the Saints)**

Red/Madame Knight: Now this is a revelation for the ages!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: But…but how! Your voice was so deep and masculine!

Paris: It's called a voice distortion machine! I placed it in my mask so nobody would recognize me.

Sophocles: Paris Hilton? Didn't you come up to South Park about eight years ago?

Paris: You are correct, egghead!

(Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula seem lost)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I'm confused. How do you all know each other?

Annie/Darling Dame: Well, sweetie, let us explain…

Sam/Sir Justice: Hang on a minute before you do, Annie. (Breaks the fourth wall) Attention reader, if you haven't read Chapter 2: Prologue 2: Stupid Spoiled Whore, then go ahead and read it real fast because we are going to spoil the _shit_ out of this chapter! (Turns back to Annie) Okay, proceed…

Annie/Darling Dame: Right. Anyway, Kurt, Paris Hilton came up to South Park about 8 years ago to open up a store called Stupid Spoiled Whore. All of the girls, including myself and sans for Wendy, went crazy trying to act and dress like Paris. Eventually, we had a party at Bebe's house where we were going to have a harem with Justin. Then Sam, who was dressed as Sir Justice, Wendy, and Mr. Slave came in and shut the party down, revealing that Sam also destroyed the store in the process, resulting in Stupid Spoiled Whore getting replaced with Store Justice. Anyway, Mr. Slave and Paris had a whore-off showdown, and Mr. Slave won, resulting in all of us losing our faith and love for Paris Hilton, and also caused the downfall of the Stupid Spoiled Whore fad and everyone's love for Paris Hilton in general. Also worth noting that we almost got raped by Justin afterwards.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Oh of course, you had to bring _that_ up!

Annie/Darling Dame: Hey, the rape attempt was a key point in the climax of that episode.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Still, there's no excuse for you to open up old wounds!

Annie/Darling Dame: Calm down, Bebe, besides we got revenge on him when we fought him at the cemetery. You remember when we…

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright! We've already spoiled Prologue 2! Let's not spoil Prologue 5 now!

Annie/Darling Dame: Sorry, I was going off on a tangent of my own there. (Turns to Kurt) So, that's what happened.

Paris: There was more to my Stupid Spoiled Whore plot that meets the eye, you know.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: What do you mean?

Paris: You see, I wanted to start up my own empire! Your small cowboy town was just a stepping stone towards my ultimate goal!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Which was what?

Paris: I wanted a perfect world where everyone would behave just like me! A world where everyone just parties, sleeps around, and acts super-duper lame towards everyone! It's my definition of a utopian society!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Sounds more like hell on Earth to us!

Paris: I used your one horse town, Mouth Bark…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: SOUTH PARK!

Paris:…As a trial run for my store. If that store was successful, then I would open up a whole lot of Stupid Spoiled Whore stores all across America, and eventually, worldwide! At first, everything was going my way. (Points at Sam/Sir Justice) But then this fucker came along and ruined everything! You totally trashed my store and everything in it! And as if that wasn't bad enough, you went ahead and got your own store to replace it!

Sam/Sir Justice: We're still getting paid handsomely by the Guess Clothing Company for that store.

Paris: Talk to somebody who cares, you glorified superzero! Anyway, it wasn't just him that I harbored a deep hatred towards, but also this faggot right here!

(She points at Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: What!? Me?

Paris: Yes, you! At that whore off, I thought I secured my victory! But then you go on ahead and swallow me up through your rancid, putrid, booty hole! Do you know what I had to go through to get out of you?!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: No. Do you know what _I_ had to go through to get you out of my body?

Paris: No, and frankly I don't give a damn! Now then, there are four other people who I blame for my downfall! I blame, you four!

(She now points at Wendy, Bebe, Red, and Annie)

Red/Madame Knight: What?! Why us?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Yeah? What did we do wrong?

Paris: Oh, my little pink Chun Li rip-off, it's not you did that was wrong. It's what you _didn't_ do that was wrong. You didn't become a part of my empire like your other three friends. That's right. I remember seeing you at the whore off eight years ago. You were the only one of your friends not wearing a slutty outfit! So you obviously didn't submit to my trend! Speaking of your friends, they didn't carry on my legacy after I was defeated. That's what you three are supposed to do when your figure head crumbles: Keep their spirit alive! But what do you three go ahead and do? You three go ahead and play superhero with these losers! (Points at Annie) And the one person that does wear one of my outfits, she doesn't use it for whorish purposes, but for crime fighting purposes!

Red/Madame Knight: We'd never keep your spirit alive.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: At the time you lost the whore off, we realized that you were a total loser and a failure, something that we didn't want to grow up into. But after growing up mentally for the past eight years, and after witnessing the events that transpired today, we can confirm that you are an evil brat that's only famous for being famous, and nothing else! You're nothing but a lousy little harlot!

Paris: Oh, blah, blah, blah. Like I care. (Looks over at Doug, Sophocles, Jeffrey, Cody, Kurt, Bridgette, Clyde, and Ursula) And you guys…I don't know who you people are, but I'm willing to bet you guys are related to each other in some way, yes?

Doug & Jeffrey: We're family

Kurt, Ursula, & Cody: We're their love interests.

Clyde: I'm just some guy that was at Bebe's whore party…

Bridgette:…And I'm his girlfriend.

Sophocles: And I'm the uncle to my nephew Cody.

Paris: Oh. Okay then. Now then, you're all probably wondering how I ended up like this?

Sam/Sir Justice: Actually, yeah. You're filthy stinking rich. Couldn't you just hire a hitman to kill us instead of holding a show like this?

Paris: Yes, but this way was more fun. But I don't want to talk about this show right now. I want to talk about the origin story of my alter ego, Smiles!

(Flashback time)

(In this first shot, we see Paris' T.V show, "The World According to Paris" getting canceled, and everyone burning or throwing out any and all Paris Hilton memorabilia)

Paris (v.o): After losing the whore off, that's when everything went to shit! My show went down the shitter and nobody paid any mind to me anymore!

(The next shot we see Paris getting kicked out of her parents' mansion)

Paris (v.o): To make matter worse, my parents kicked me out and cut off any and all ties I had with the family, rendering me homeless and alone.

(We then see Paris sitting in a box on a Manhattan street, followed by a shot of Paris in a grocery store trying to steal some fresh fruit)

Paris (v.o): Let me tell you, living in a cardboard box is not a fun experience. Too cramp and small! I was reduced to stealing from grocery stores and mini-marts for my next meal! I was the lowest one could possibly go in life…a former star! But one day, everything changed!

(The next shot has Paris being approached by a big and tall person in an alley. That person is Satan himself)

Paris (v.o): On that day, I encountered a tall and fat stranger. At first I thought I was going to get raped, and I thought that would be a perfect end to my now crappy life, but then it turned out to be Satan. He said that he knew about everything that had happened to me, and knows that I want revenge on you motherfuckers! He asked me if I want to become one of his advocates. We shook hand and a deal was struck!

(The next shot has Paris putting herself in her armor suit and smiley face mask, followed by a shot of Satan giving instruction on the blood harvest)

Paris (v.o): The great thing about being allied with the devil is that he can get you whatever you want whenever you want it. So I asked for this suit of armor you see before you, and he gave it to me with no problems at all. Not long after that did he ask me of a favor. Apparently, his little boy got defeated in battle, and needs the blood of 100 mortals to be revived. He told me to collect said blood, break 13 stones or some shit, and then use that blood to revive Damien. I knew exactly what my first stop would be.

(The next shot has Paris killing her own family with that suit)

Paris (v.o): I killed everyone in my family, harvested their blood, and collected their fortune, allowing me to get a mansion of my very own! From there, I robbed countless New York City banks to get more money so I could come up with a plan to collect more blood. It took eight years, but I came up with the ultimate plan, which was this show: Death T.V.

(The next shot has Paris holding auditions for fighters that will represent her. Eventually, she finds Big Moe, Fish Man Jones, Little Johnny, and Hunter Jenkins and hires them)

Paris (v.o): After many auditions, I found some fighters that would represent me in my show. They were perfect, and I knew that they would get the job done properly.

(The next shot has Big Moe, Fish Man Jones, Little Johnny, and Hunter Jenkins fighting and killing the kids from North Park. We cut to a shot of Paris' henchmen draining the North Park kids' blood in an unknown room)

Paris (v.o): We did a test run of the show with those kids from North Park, and the public loved it! They got what they wanted, which was violence and great entertainment, and I got what I wanted, which as blood!

(The final shot is of Paris, dressed as Smiles, from the last episode, holding audition in South Park High School and coming across Sam and his friends)

Paris (v.o): After that, I set my sights on you hick town, I found you assholes again, and that brings us to today.

(End flashbacks)

Paris: So now you know.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Okay, here's one thing I just realized. It took eight years between when Damien was sealed away and the present, when the advocates are running wild and harvesting blood. Couldn't you, or rather any of the other advocates, be harvesting blood all this time? I swear this fanfic has more plot holes than I thought it would.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: If I didn't know any better, I'd say this fanfic was the writers' excuse for having us in epic over the top action scenes.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Also, I'm pretty sure the real life Paris Hilton lives in Beverly Hills by herself, not in New York City with her family. She's going to be pissed if she ever read this.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Yeah, the writer must be high on some kind of hallucinogen to be writing the stuff he's been writing. And I don't mean the type of hallucinogen that Trey or Matt would take, but one that is super powerful and would knock any normal person into a coma.

Paris: NO MORE FOURTH WALL BREAKS! (Everyone turns their attention to her) As far as the blood harvest issue is concerned, like I said, it took me eight years to come up with this plan. And besides, we advocates have lives outside of being…you know, advocates. We can't harvest blood all day every day.

Sophocles: Well, that's understandable.

Paris: Thanks. Anyway, that's enough talking. It's time we get back to fighting! I'm going kill the lot of you and harvest your blood when I'm done! (She grabs her smiley face mask, rips out the voice distortion machine within the mask, and places it back on her head as well as the fedora) It's time I show you what this suit is really capable of! Let's get physical!

 **(Cue So Cold from Mad World)**

(Suddenly, four hands that are holding swords come out of the power suit: Two from the hips, one from the stomach, and one from the back)

Paris/Smiles: Lights, Camera, Bloodshed!

(She spins her sword arms around and attempts to slash our heroes, but the dodge out of the way)

 **(I'm so cold (so cold)! I'm so cold (so cold)! I'm so cold! Baby, I'm so cold! (x2))**

Annie/Darling Dame: (Flies up in the air) Butterfly's Maelstrom!

(She fires her rainbow beams, but Paris/Smiles activates the boots of her suit, allowing her to run super fast. She runs so fast she dodges Annie's attack)

Paris/Smiles: Too slow, Suckerfly!

(Suddenly, Red, Ursula, Cody, Bebe, Alex Slave, Sophocles, and Jeffrey surround her and they take out their blades)

 **(I tell 'em cool the conversation,** **what you dealing with is nationwide** **! Live wire style, when he rock now your fixture fried! Word, I ain't fix to lie, truth what I be telling, right. I sell that grime raw, you forget to cut your ass will die. Yeah, that's a definite,** **my pimp game excellent** **. It's effortless, while y'all cats vibe sounding celibate)**

Red/Madame Knight: Crazy Claymore!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Razor Fan!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Virtuous Katana!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Stevens' Special Sword!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Slash

Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Radical Rapier!

(The seven saints charge with their blades, but by using her own four swords, two armored hands, and one foot, Paris blocks all seven of the saints' swords)

Paris/Smiles: Idiots! The armor suit that Satan made for me is so sturdy that your weak blades won't be able to make a scratch on it!

Clyde/Mosquito: Oh yeah? Mosquito Drill! (He flies through the air and attempts to hit Paris in the head, but she ducks while still blocking everybody else's blade)

Paris/Smiles: Enough!

 **(I'm so cold (so cold)! I'm so cold (so cold)! I'm so cold! Baby, I'm so cold! (x2))**

(Paris pushes Red, Ursula, Cody, Bebe, Alex Slave, Sophocles, and Jeffrey back and knocks them on their asses)

Paris/Smiles: Anyone else feel brave?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Right here! Simple Cymbals!

(She tosses them, but Paris catches them, surprising Bridgette)

Paris/Smiles: Heads up, bitch!

(Paris throws the cymbals back, and Bridgette ducks out of the way so she doesn't get hit)

 **(Yeah, the bottom line is y'all ain't fucking it right. I beat it up until them fucking guts busting inside.** **Cause he a what? Soldier! See, that man a problem** **. But ain't a motherfucker on this earth that can solve him. Feel like a young prize fighter with the pen.** **Punch lines like a shotgun caught you in the chin** **)**

(Wendy and Doug appear on Paris' sides ready to attack as their boxing gloves ignite and freeze up)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress & Doug/Cerulean Viper: Father-Daughter Combo!

(The both charge at Paris, but she jump high in the air, and Wendy and Doug end up hitting each other. Paris flips through the air, but Kurt and Sam are ready to shoot Paris down to end the game)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Radiant Revolver!

Sam/Sir Justice: Bebe's Bullets!

(The two boys fire their guns, but they miss Paris entirely as she flips through the air in her jump. She eventually lands behind them and holds out her arms)

Paris/Smiles: You dumbasses don't even know who you're dealing with!

(She hits both boys with the forearms of her armor, knocking them to the floor)

Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Sam!

Annie/Darling Dame: Kurt, no!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets up as does Kurt) Don't worry, we're fine! Just focus on Paris!

(The Saints continue their attack on Paris as we cut the audience, who are watching with anticipation)

 **(** **Listen close and listen good, you better dig** **.** **I'm only gonna throw this shit out there one time** **.** **And you better motherfucking right receive it** **.** **If you can't keep up, you might want to adjust your motherfucking tempo** **.** **I ain't talkin too fast, you're just listenin' too motherfucking slow** **)**

(Kelly is in the audience, scared of the fight's outcome)

Kelly: (Covering her eyes) I can't watch!

(Cut to Maria and Apollo. Maria is also looking worried, while Apollo is looking on with much interest)

Apollo: This is the best thing I've ever seen!

Maria: How can you be enjoying this! They're getting creamed out there!

Apollo: Quit your bellyaching, sister, and enjoy this fight!

 **(So Cold fades out)**

Maria: (To herself) Damn it. What can I do? I'm so helpless up here just watching the fight. These guys are good people that don't deserve this! There has to be something I can do to help. (She then looks over at Apollo and remembers what he told her)

(Flashback to last episode)

Apollo: _Maybe you should try using_ your _powers for evil at least once, sister!_

(Back to present time)

Maria: (Thinking to herself) That's it! I've got to use my powers to help these guys. I don't even care if it'll make me a weirdo! I have to save those guys! They don't deserve death! I might not be using my powers for evil, but I never cared for a villain's lifestyle anyway.

(Back at the main arena, the saints are tired and beaten down)

Paris/Smiles: Well, I guess this is the part where I kill you all and take your blood. (Some needles come out of the back of her power suit) So just stay still and soon it will all be over.

Sam/Sir Justice: Shit.

(Suddenly, a small ring of pink energy comes out of nowhere)

Paris/Smiles: What the fuck is that?

(The Saints then hear Maria trying to talk to them telepathically)

Maria: _Guys, hear me!_

Red/Madame Knight: What's that voice?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Maria? Is that you?

Maria: _Just listen to me! That ring of pink energy you see before you. Use your strongest range attacks and throw it into that ring! I'll help you take out Paris._

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't know. Should we trust her?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I say who cares! If she's offering to help us take down Paris, let's do as she says.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Everyone, give your power to Maria!

Saints: Right!

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Moonshine Beam!

Annie/Darling Dame: Sunshine Lazer!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Trumpet of the Gods!

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Mob: Bug Bullets!

Red/Madame Knight: Arrows of Light!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Petal Blizzard! (She fires petals from her sleeves, unlike her Blossom Storm attack, these petals harm the opponent as these petals are razor sharp)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Sleepy Seeds!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Takes out a big electrified ninja throwing star from her bag) Shocking Shuriken!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches!

Sophocles: (His scythe starts to glow) Soul Chopper! (He swings his scythe and a wave of blue energy in the shape of the scythe's blade comes from it)

(All of the attacks go into Maria's ring, and once they do, the ring turns into a big ball of pink psychic energy. Everyone in the audience is amazed, including Kelly. Apollo is watching in shock and awe. He turns over to Maria, who has her eyes closed, and he gets a look of anger on his face, knowing that she's helping the Saints when she shouldn't be. Back on the main arena, Paris is just staring up at the big pink ball of energy in complete awe)

Paris/Smiles: Wha…What's….

Maria: Psycho Bomb!

(The ball of energy hits Paris and creates an explosion so big it blows the roof of the Pepsi Stadium right off. When the attack ends, Paris/Smiles has her mask and fedora blown off again, and she is knocked unconscious. A stadium worker walks up to Paris to check and see if she's alive. She is still breathing, but is knocked unconscious. Nevertheless, the audience cheers)

Sam/Sir Justice: We won? We won! OH MY GOD WE WON! WOOOOOOO!

(In the audience, Kelly smiles, happy that the saints won the fight, and she leaves the audience, but not before blushing after thinking about Sam)

Kelly: (Sighs and blushes) Oh Sam. You never cease to amaze me.

(Back on the arena floor, Sam runs up to a cameraman and his camera and starts shouting into it)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let it be known that this is the second and last episode of Death T.V! The Saints just took down Paris Hilton, baby! I didn't choose saint life, saint life chose me! Sir Justice out, bitch! (He punches the camera and cheers some more)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Someone is rather fired up.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I'll say.

(We then cut to everybody leaving the Pepsi Stadium and heading for home. Paris Hilton, having been stripped of her power suit and now wearing her usual pink bra and jean shorts, is seen getting loaded into a police car. We then see Apollo and Maria leave)

Maria: Apollo, you have to understand what I did.

Apollo: No, I don't understand, sister! Why would you help out the South Park Saints? I thought you understood that we are Murciélagos! We do not help people like them, we kill people like them! What you did just proves to me that you are not loyal to the Murciélago family name! I can't even look at you I'm so angry right now!

Maria: I already told you I'm not interested in what our family does. I want to make friends and be normal.

Apollo: If you want to make friends so much, why don't you just team up with those saints! You've already saved their hides, that's only the next logical step!

Maria: You know what, maybe I will! In fact, the next time I see them, I'm going to ask if I can join them.

Apollo: You do that. But you'll be dead to me if you do!

Maria: See if I care!

(They head for the bus stop that'll take them home as we cut to the saints, now back in their regular clothes)

Sam: You know something, guys.

Wendy: What's that, Sam?

Sam: Even though we almost died. I kind of had fun competing on that show.

Annie: Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

Clyde: Not only that, but it gave us all a chance to let off a little bit of steam, and that's always good.

Red: And if one really good thing came out of today, Ursula and I are finally together. This is the best day of my life!

Ursula: Best day of your life so far. You'll have plenty of others, darling.

Red: True, so true.

Jeffrey: So, what do you all say we head back to my place and order a couple of pizzas to celebrate?

Kurt: Oh yes!

Cody: You've read my mind, Mr. Stevens, sir!

Jeffrey: What are we waiting for? Let's go!

(Everybody piles into Jeffrey and Doug's cars and they head off for home. Meanwhile, in some forest near South Park, a shadowy figure is speaking with Satan through some kind of astral projection. We don't see what the figure looks like, but he is short and very chubby)

Satan: (In the astral projection) Tobias Shredder has burned out, and Paris Hilton has crumbled as well. As my third advocate, it now falls on you to harvest the blood I need. Do I make myself clear?

(The shadowy figure opens his red eyes and grins evilly, showing his sharp yellow teeth as the episode comes to an end)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: The South Park Saints celebrate their victory over Paris Hilton with pizza and soda at the Stevens' Residence)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Maria and Apollo are sitting at the dining room table eating dinner, just staring at each other. Apollo uses his telekinesis to spill Maria's drink on her lap. Then, Apollo reaches for some salt to put on his food, but Maria uses her telekinesis to loosen the cap of the salt shaker, causing salt to pour all over Apollo's food)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite. Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu. Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo. Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda. Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Paris Hilton arrives at the high security prison. When the other prisoners notice this, they cater to her every whim, giving her foot rubs, glasses of water, and asking for autographs. Justin is especially going crazy as the likes of Trent, Ethel, Max, and Tobias Shredder just stare at him)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Ursula and Red are out on their first date, getting brunch together. While waiting for their food to arrive, they give each other a quick peck on the cheek, causing the other restaurant patrons to stare. Ursula and Red give them a look that says, "Stop hating, bitches!"

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: Wendy and Sam are at the movie theatre watching a movie. Little do they know, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin is sitting a few rows behind them, watching Wendy with envy as she grips the seat in front of her tightly)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: Cody is back to worrying about the remaining six advocates. Bebe is in Cody's room with him, and she places a hand on his shoulder as if saying, "Don't worry so much about the advocates." Cody sighs and the couple leave the room to spend time together)

 **(Samayoinagara Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: A random circus tent appears in the forest. The owner of this circus is the same shadowy figure that was talking with Satan earlier)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Millie is at the shooting range, practicing on some targets. She wants to be a useful member of the team. We cut Kevin Stooley, who is at South Park Laboratories getting more needles full of DNA from Dr. Mephesto)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Final Shot: All of the South Park Saints are gathered at Cody's Mansion to view their episode of Death T.V. They all sit back and enjoy the show, eating some snacks and enjoying each others' company)


	10. Never Trust the Clown

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 9: Never Trust the Clown

(It's a Thursday afternoon in late April, about four days after our heroes fought Paris Hilton/Smiles, and two 10 year old boys are walking through the forest. One boy that has black hair and wearing a yellow shirt, red pants, and black shoes is leading another blonde haired boy that is wearing a green sweat shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes to some unknown location. Let's call the yellow shirt kid Warren and the green sweat shirt kid Robert)

Robert: What is it Warren? Why did you drag me out here?

Warren: I was just wandering around out here when I found the most amazing thing ever!

Robert: What is it!

(The eventually come up to a clearing and they arrive at their location)

Warren: Take a look!

(He points at a giant circus tent with yellow and blue stripes)

Robert: What the hell is a circus doing all the way out here?

Warren: Who cares? It's awesome!

(Suddenly, a short and fat clown appears in front of them in a puff of smoke. This clown's name is Dimitri Molarski)

 **(Dimitri is a short and fat clown, think Danny Devito in terms of body type, and he has usual clown make-up with a white face, red painted lips, and blue paint around his red eyes. He is wearing a red and yellow striped jester hat, white gloves, a white ruff around his neck, a blue and red striped shirt with small white ruffs at the ends of the sleeves, green pants with purple polka dots, and big red clown shoes)**

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! Hello there, children!

Robert: Whoa! Who are you?

Dimitri: Ho, ho! I'm Dimitri Molarski, the best clown around! I see you two have come across my fabulous circus!

Warren: Yeah. It looks nice!

Dimitri: Why don't you boys come on in and have a look around?

(Warren and Robert follow Dimitri into the circus tent, and they are amazed at what they see. They see the seats where the audience usually sits, but on the main floor they see the trapeze where the acrobats would perform, a cannon for the human cannonball, weights for the strong man that are just lying around. It's everything you could imagine in a circus)

Robert: This is so cool!

Warren: I've never been to the circus before! So, when do the performers get here?

Dimitri: Why, my dear children! You are the performers today!

Warren: Whoa, really!

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho, ho! Of course! That's why I made this tent, so that way kids like you can have fun! Go on, children, enjoy!

(Cut to a quick montage of Warren, Robert, and Dimitri having fun. They watch Dimitri fly out of the canon and into a huge net. The three of them then try and lift weights. Warren and Robert are using 10 lb weights, but Dimitri is able to lift a 5,000 lb weight over his head without breaking a sweat, and then he throws it like a baseball. Dimitri then makes Warren and Robert some cotton candy for the three of them, and they feast. The last shot in the montage is of Warren, Robert, and Dimitri swinging and having fun on the trapeze. The three of them fall and land in a big net underneath them. They then have a good laugh as Dimitri gets up and out of the net)

Dimitri: You boys sure know how to have fun. Say, you know what would be really fun?

Warren: What?

Dimitri: Is if I show you all my pet, Poochy!

Robert: Sure.

Dimitri: Perfect! Just stay right there on that net, and watch! (He takes out a green balloon, blows into it, and makes a dog balloon animal. He places it on the ground and it starts to move and bark like a real dog)

Robert: Wowie!

Warren: Too cool!

Dimitri: I'm glad you like him. He sure is cute, but trust me when I say…(Gets a malicious look in his eyes) He grows up like a weed!

(He snaps his fingers on his left hand and the net that Robert and Warren were sitting in capture them. He snaps the fingers on his right hand and Poochy grows up to a gigantic size and gets a visible mouth with sharp teeth and piercing red eyes)

Warren: What the hell!

Robert: Mr. Dimitri, stop!

Dimitri: (Floats to the top of his balloon poochy and rides on his back) Poochy, it's feeding time!

(Poochy growls and opens its mouth. Warren and Robert scream in terror as he devours them in one bite. We then cut to Dimitri holding two seltzer bottles full of the two boys' blood. He then giggles sadistically to himself as he places the two bottles into a bag that has about twenty other bottles)

Dimitri: Ah, children's blood! So sweet, so delicious, it's such a delicacy! (The gigantic Poochy lowers his head and Dimitri pets him) Good Poochy, who's my favorite balloon poochy! You are! (He giggles sadistically as he continues to admire the blood in his bag) Tobias and Paris may have failed in getting Master Damien the blood he needs, but I won't!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (6 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, and Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut to Friday morning at the Broflovski Residence, where 13 year old Ike Broflovski is ready to walk to school as he leaves out the front door)

 **(Ike is wearing a green sweatshirt with a yellow undershirt, blue jeans, and black shoes. He also decided to give his black hair a crew cut. He's carrying a dark blue backpack)**

Ike: Bye mom!

Shiela: Okay, sweetie, have a great day at school. Also, Ike, be careful out there. I heard about these child abductions going on around here. Be aware of your surroundings.

Ike: I will mom, thanks.

(Ike begins to walk down the driveway to his house, and he passes his brother Kyle, who has just started his car so he can get to school. Kyle opens the window to the drivers' seat of the car and says…)

Kyle: Hey, Ike, you want a ride to school?

Ike: No thanks, Kyle. I'll be fine.

Kyle: Are you sure. I don't mind. Your school is in the same direction as mine. Plus I'm a little concerned about these child abductions. You're my little brother and it's my job to look out for you.

Ike: Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I promise you, I'm going to walk from school and back today like I always do, and you'll see me again at the end of the day.

Kyle: Okay, suit yourself. See you later (He drives off).

(We then cut to Ike, who is just walking down the street to get to school. Little does he know, Dimitri is eyeing him, as he's disguised as a fire hydrant)

Dimitri: (Chuckles to himself) Fresh blood! Yummy!

(A random dog comes up and pees on his fire hydrant disguise. In a puff of smoke, Dimitri goes back to his clown self. His eyes go completely red as his yellow teeth sharpen and he lets out a vicious roar. The dog runs away barking in fear as Dimitri sets his sights back on Ike. Dimitri disappears into the forest and continues to stare at Ike. An accordion then appears in his hands and he starts to play a song with a melody that's very similar to the Lavender Town theme as he sings this tune…)

Dimitri: (Singing) Come, come, come my child! Don't be afraid, I'm timid and mild! You want to have fun, I know you do. So how about we play, just me and you!

(Dimitri kept playing his accordion and singing this tune until Ike was completely entranced by the melody. Ike then wanders into the forest and follows the music. When Dimitri sees this, he makes leads Ike back to his circus tent and he sings the second verse)

Dimitri: (Singing) Yes, yes, right this way! I'll show you a place meant for fun and play! It's a special place, meant for you! Nobody around except us two!

(Ike follows Dimitri and his hypnotizing accordion music all the way to his circus tent)

(We cut to senior lunchtime at South Park High School. The teenage members of the South Park Saints, and also Kelly Rutherford-Menskin, are sitting at three tables close to each other, eating the lunch of the day: Bacon Cheeseburgers with a side order of curly fries. Here are the seating arrangements…)

 **(Table 1: Sam, Wendy, Kelly, Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula)**

 **(Table 2: Bridgette, Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Cartman, Stan, Kyle)**

 **(Table 3: Bebe, Millie, Kevin, Token, Butters, Kenny, and Heidi)**

Tweek: (Eating his food he's never eaten anything before) Nom, nom, nom! I swear, they save the best food for last on Fridays.

Kenny: Ain't that the truth?

Kelly: Oh Sam, do you want me to feed you your fries.

Sam: (Chuckles to himself) Uh, thanks Kelly, but I'm perfectly capable of eating on my own.

Kelly: Nonsense, I insist.

Wendy: (Glares at Kelly) If Sam says he can feed himself, then he can feed himself.

Craig: This brings up an interesting question, Kelly. Why are you sitting with us? Don't you usually sit…somewhere over there?

Kelly: I felt like sitting with you guys today.

Millie: Yeah, right, you just want to get close to Sam.

Kelly: I guess I'm guilty as charged. But how can you not love a guy like Sam. He's smart, strong, and just sexy in general.

Sam: (Blushing at that statement as he turns to his Cartman, who looks like he's ready to tease him) Don't you say a word.

Cartman: (Tries to act innocent) Relax, I wasn't.

(Sam then looks to see Wendy glaring even harder at Kelly)

Sam: Hey, Wendy, are you okay?

Wendy: (Through gritted teeth) Everything is perfectly fine!

Kelly: Hey, Sam, where do you see us in ten years? Maybe we're married with children of our own?

Kenny: Oh crap, she's dropping the marriage and children bomb!

Sam: Let's not get carried away, Kelly. I mean, we're not even dating.

Kelly: We're not dating _yet_.

Sam: I need some time to think about it, Kelly.

Heidi: (Turns to Token) Speaking of dating, Token, I remember what you said at the cemetery the other day. I think I will take up that date at Pizza Hut.

Token: Oh, you still want to date me?

Heidi: Yeah.

Token: Well, here's the thing. Nichole decided to take me back, and I never got a reply back from you about that date, so Nichole and I are a thing again.

Heidi: Oh…well good for you then. (To herself) God damn it!

Clyde: So, Token, why did Nichole break up with you to begin with?

Token: Believe it or not, it's the man-bun.

Kurt: Seriously, your hair?

Token: Yeah, but she said she'd try and learn to love it, also stating that breaking up with somebody over a hairstyle is a stupid reason.

Butters: Well at least she learned her lesson.

Bebe: What lesson would that be, Butters?

Butters: It's not what's on the outside that matters, but it's what's on the inside that does matter. (Pounds his chest with the side of his fist) Poetic.

Bridgette: Wow, that's probably the smartest thing you've said in a while, Butters.

Butters: Thanks.

Stan: (Looks over at Heidi, and she notices)

Heidi: What's up, Stan?

Stan: Oh…nothing.

(Meanwhile, Maria is eyeing the saints from the other side of the cafeteria. Maria is carrying the book that Apollo was reading in an earlier chapter. She inhales deeply and makes her way over to them)

Maria: Hey, guys.

Wendy: Oh, Maria!

Maria: How are you all doing since that fight last weekend?

Kurt: We've been doing well. We also would've been dead if it weren't for you. Thank you so much for helping us.

Kevin: Yeah, we heard you helped out friends out in the last battle.

Maria: Well I couldn't stand by and watch you all get killed.

Ursula: That brings up an interesting question: Where did you learn that power you used against Paris Hilton?

Maria: That's actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you. Do you all think we can talk somewhere in private?

Kyle: Sure. I think there's a place behind the school by the dumpsters where we can all talk. Come on.

(Maria and the South Park Saints leave, and Kelly tries to follow)

Kelly: Can I come to.

Wendy: No!

(Kelly bows her head in sadness)

(Meanwhile, behind the school, the boy with the blue cap is letting off the stress of the day…by smoking a joint of marijuana. Suddenly, he hears Maria and the saints coming his way)

Blue Cap: Oh shit, I got to cheese it! (He quickly wipes away any smoke from his joint and runs away just as Maria and the saints arrive)

Kyle: Here we are. So what's up, Maria?

Maria: Well, you guys are going to want to brace yourselves when I tell you all this, but Apollo and I are not what we seem. The truth is that we have…powers.

Clyde: You mean like the kind you used to help us take down Paris Hilton?

Maria: Yes. That is just a small portion of what I can do. My brother and I can create bombs, arrows, and just about anything with psychic energy. We also possess telekinetic abilities that allow us to move things to our will. Watch this…

(She points over at a bike rack, and using her mind, she loosens up one of the bike chains, raises the kick stand, and the bike falls over on its side)

Stan: Holy shit.

Millie: Maria, how long have you been like this.

Maria: This is where the crazy part kicks in, but Apollo and I have had these powers for about…1,000 years.

Bebe: 1,000 years? But that's impossible. You and Apollo are 18 just like the rest of us.

Maria: That's because Apollo and I used our magic to transfer our souls and memories into the bodies of our descendants. This has to be about the 50th body since he and I were created.

Butters: I'm confused right now? What are you saying?

Maria: I knew you guys would have a hard time believing me, which is why I managed to take this book without my brother knowing.

(She opens the book and shows them the pages. The page shows Carlos in some secret dungeon creating Apollo and Maria by throwing a mixture of his magic and some of his own blood into a cauldron of some kind of green liquid. Apollo and Maria are then shown rising out of the cauldron, albeit naked)

Maria (v.o): A long time ago, our father, Carlos Murciélago, squared off against the great warrior, Luther Von Cooper III, and he created us in case he fell in battle so that we may continue his legacy of darkness.

(Back to reality)

Maria: However, for whatever reason, I had no interest in continuing my father's legacy. My brother would get angry with me whenever I didn't obey my father's wishes. I just don't see the point in spreading discord and chaos. Can't we all just live peacefully? Which brings me to the next portion of this meeting: I think it's time I join you guys and become a South Park Saint.

Cartman: Gee, Maria, we'd love to have you a part of our team, but we already have almost 30 people, so we're going to have to say…

Sam: (Cuts him off) Sure.

All Saints: What?

Maria: You mean it?

Sam: Sure, you can join us.

Maria: (Gets giddy) Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Wendy: (Whispers in Sam's ear) Uh, Sam, what are you doing. We already have about 27 people on our team. We don't need any more members. I'm pretty sure the writer of this fanfiction is going to get wound up if we get more characters.

Sam: I don't care about that. I think she'd be a great asset to the team for a two reasons. First off, we could use another female saint member, because the male-female ratio is way off.

Annie: He's got a point.

Sam: And second, we could use somebody with powers like hers. We'd be unbeatable!

Annie: And another good point. Alright, I'm sold. Let her in.

(The other saints agree and Maria is now a part of the South Park Saints)

Maria: Thank you very much for accepting me. I just need to make a disguise so nobody will recognize me.

Craig: Why do you have to worry about people recognizing you? People already know that we're the South Park Saints.

Maria: Yes, but unlike you guys, I have legitimate superpowers, and people will think I'm a freak. And naturally, people will assume the same of Apollo, and they'll mock him even worse if that happens. So this disguise is meant to protect our good names.

Craig: Whatever helps you sleep at night, Maria.

Butters: There's just one thing that I noticed as you were telling the story, Maria. You mentioned someone named Luther Von Cooper III. Why does that name sound so familiar.

Sam: That's because Luther Von Cooper III is my ancestor from 1,000 years ago. When I was a kid, my parents would often tell me stories of his great triumphs every night before I went to sleep. I think I have him to thank for my fighting spirit.

Bridgette: It's true. His parents told the stories to us when Kurt, Ursula, Justin, and I would come over to play.

Red: Sounds a little farfetched, Sam.

Sam: Don't believe me, look on one of those family tree websites.

Red: Trust me, I will.

Sam: Anyway, Maria, I guess we'd better find Principal Stevens, Mr. Testaburger, and Mr. Slave and tell them that the South Park Saints have a new member. We'll introduce you to Cody, Leon, Dr. Mephesto, and Dr. Sophocles later.

Maria: Golly, how many members are there.

Cartman: Too many.

(They head for Principal Stevens' office, and we cut to said office, where Jeffrey is talking with a soaking wet Apollo, who is shivering due to the water and growling in anger)

Jeffrey: Okay, Apollo, explain to me what happened.

Apollo: (Takes a deep breath) Okay, sir. But allow me to explain through flashback…

 **(Flashback time)**

(We cut to earlier that day when Apollo made it to next class late. He is clearly out of breath and sweating since he ran all the way there)

Apollo (v.o): I was running late for my history class, and I was very tired upon arrival.

(In the flashback, Sam turns his attention towards Apollo)

Sam: Hey, Apollo, you look pretty beat. (He takes out a bottle of water from his pocket) You should stay hydrated. I packed an extra bottle. It's yours if you want it.

Apollo: I don't need your pity, Justice Boy.

Sam: Okay, sorry, just trying to be nice.

(Behind him, the likes of Jason and the blue cap boy take notice. We then cut to a few periods later when Apollo is walking towards his locker. Upon arriving to his locker, he finds a message written in black marker that reads, "Hydrate yourself, nerd!" A bunch of other students are gathered around the locker to see)

Apollo (v.o): They left an awful message on my locker. No doubt someone overheard me in history class, and decided to prank me by vandalizing my locker. I thought this was just a random act of vandalism against me…but I was wrong.

(Apollo tries to open the locker, and when he does, a whole bunch of water balloons pour all over him, soaking him in cold water and knocking him to the floor. The students that were in the area laugh at him as he gets up. Apollo just stares into his locker for a while, until the students leave. Even when they leave, Apollo is just staring into his locker with anger)

 **(End flashback)**

Apollo: How the fuck did they even get my locker combination?!

Jeffrey: This is very serious. Do you know who did it?

Apollo: No! It could be anyone in this school! Everyone hates me, and meanwhile, I didn't do shit to them.

Jeffrey: I understand your anger. (He takes a dismissal slip from out of his folder) Why don't you go home for the rest of the day and take a break (He fills the slip out and gives it to Apollo). If you need tomorrow off to calm down I just need you to e-mail me and I'll let you know. I'm very sorry about all of this Apollo.

Apollo: Don't fret, Principal Stevens. Soon, they will all pay. They will know my wrath when it hits them in the face. You'll see…you'll all see! (He leaves)

Jeffrey: I should really keep a closer eye on that kid and make sure he doesn't go postal. (He pulls out one of the draws to his desk and looks at his Sgt. Stevens costume and weapons) I always have my persona on standby just in case something like a shooting breaks out.

(Suddenly, Maria and the South Park Saints enter the office)

Jeffrey: Oh, hello! What can I do you for?

Sam: Mr. Stevens, say hello to the South Park Saints newest member! (Points at Maria)

Jeffrey: Oh, Maria! You're Apollo's brother, right?

Maria: That's right.

Jeffrey: I just want to thank you for helping us on Death T.V the other day. We couldn't have defeated Paris Hilton without you. But the question still stands, where did you get those powers from.

Maria: Well, as I've explained to these guys over here. I was created about 1,000 years ago and…

(5 minutes later)

Maria: …So that's the whole story.

Jeffrey: I see. So you and Apollo are 1,000 year old magic users, and that's how you managed to save us from Paris?

Maria: Exactly, sir.

Jeffrey: Very interesting. This is a lot to take in, and honestly, I'm having a tough time believing it…of course with some of the shit that has been happening as of late, I'm willing to believe just about anything and everything at this point. But nevertheless, I'd like to welcome you to the South Park Saints, Maria.

(Maria and Jeffrey shake hands)

Maria: Thank you sir. So, from what I understand, you guys are after some advocates. What do you say after school, we continue the search?

Craig: Sounds like a plan.

Maria: Wonderful.

(Suddenly, our heroes hear someone screaming…it's Cody)

Cody: (From outside the principal's office) Mr. Stevens, Mr. Stevens, Mr. Stevens! (He crashes into the office's door. Bebe opens the door and picks Cody up)

Bebe: Cody, honey, are you okay?

Cody: I'm fine, darling, thanks for asking. I might get a little swelling, but it's nothing that a little ice pack won't fix.

Jeffrey: Where's the fire, Cody?

Cody: Okay, I'm sure you all have heard about the child abductions that have been going on in South Park, right.

Ursula: Of course we've heard about them.

Token: Yeah. Every time we turn on the news, it's all people talk about.

Cody: Well, naturally, I start to think that if these children are never seen after their respective abductions, what if the perpetrator is another one of the Devil's Advocates?

Cartman: Oh boy, there goes Cody worrying again.

Cody: I don't know how right I am. It's just a theory, but I'm just saying that these advocates have turned out to be stranger people.

Sam: He is right. There have been stranger choices for advocates. I never would've guessed that celebrities like Tobias Shredder or Paris Hilton would be in cahoots with the devil.

Cody: Exactly. So there is a possibility that's what we're dealing with. Granted, it's a slim possibility, but a possibility nonetheless.

(Suddenly, the principal office phone rings, and Jeffrey picks it up)

Jeffrey: Hello? (Talking on the other end) What!? He's here right now. I'll put him on the phone, Mrs. Broflovski. (Looks over at Kyle) Kyle, it's for you.

Kyle: (Takes the phone) Hello? Mom, what's wrong? (Talking on the other end) What!? Really?! Okay, thanks, I'll see you at home. (Hangs up)

Stan: What is it, Kyle?

Kyle: It's my brother, Ike….he's been kidnapped.

(Everyone gasps in shock as we cut to the Broflovski Residence later in the afternoon. The police have just left the premises as we cut to Cody, Maria, and Kyle sitting in the living room of the house with a very distraught Sheila and Gerald)

Sheila: (Sobbing) Ike…

Gerald: Don't worry, hon, I'm sure Ike is fine.

Kyle: This is unbelievable. I should've never let Ike go off on his own. I should've told him to ride with me to school.

Gerald: It's not your fault, son. You're not the one who kidnapped him.

Kyle: I know. But I wish I was there to prevent this.

Sheila: What are we going to do, Gerald?

Gerald: The police said they'll do everything in their power to get Ike home.

Sheila: What's the point in sending the police after the kidnapper? They didn't catch him with the other kidnappings. What makes them think that this time will be different?

Maria: Because we're going to go after this kidnapper ourselves.

Gerald & Sheila: Huh?

Maria: You heard me. As the South Park Saints' newest member, I promise you that you'll see Ike again.

Kyle: Maria, how can you be so sure?

Maria: I'll tell you all, but your parents have to promise not to tell anyone else about this.

Gerald: Okay, we promise. Just tell us what you plan on doing.

Maria: Alright. I have powers that are beyond human comprehension. These powers allow me to lift things, fight with psychic energy, and find certain people.

Sheila: You can use your powers to find Ike?

Maria: Yes. I just need to see a picture of him so that way I can pick up on his aura and maybe get his location.

Gerald: You want a picture, here. (He takes out a wallet sized photo of Ike and shows it to Maria)

Maria: Thank you, sir. Here goes nothing.

(She closes her eyes and activates her powers. She opens them, and her eyes are now glowing pink. We cut to inside her mind where we see the forest, then the circus tent, and finally, Ike just sitting in a cage inside said tent. We then cut back to reality)

Maria: I see him! He's in some kind of circus tent in the woods.

Gerald: A circus tent?

Maria: It sounds weird, but trust me, I saw it! (Turns to her two friends) Kyle, Cody, come with me! I may need your assistance.

Cody: You got it. Just give us a few moments to get our costumes and weapons ready.

Maria: Okay, meet me at entrance to the Vista Hiking Trail in 20 minutes.

Kyle: Vista Hiking Trail, 20 minutes. Got it!

Maria: Excellent. Let's go get Ike back!

(Maria and Cody leave to get their costumes as Kyle goes up to his room to do the same. But before Kyle disappears, his parents call up to him)

Gerald: Kyle, if you're really serious about doing this…just please be careful.

Kyle: I will dad. Trust me when I say that we'll bring this kidnapper to justice, and that Ike will be home safe and sound by the end of the night. (Goes up to his room)

(20 minutes later at the entrance to the Vista Hiking Trail, Cody and Kyle are dressed in their personas, ready to go after Ike)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Well, Maria said we'd meet here in 20 minutes, and she's not here.

Kyle/Human Kite: Give her time.

Maria: Yoo-hoo, boys!

(The two boys turn around to find Maria in her persona. She is wearing a plain white bathrobe, a white squid hat with glowing eyes, white bear claw slippers, white framed sunglasses, and white gloves)

Maria: What do you think of my persona?

Kyle/Human Kite: You look like you're ready for bed.

Maria: Think again, Kite Boy! I am the White Mind Maiden….the name is still in the works.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I like it. You're dressed in white, and your powers come from your mind, so I think it fits.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Thank you.

(The three teens take time to look into the forest)

Kyle/Human Kite: So, is Ike really in there?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I saw it in my vision. I know he's in there. Come on, follow me.

(The three teens go into the forest. Using her powers, Maria leads Cody and Kyle through the forest to where she saw Dimitri's circus tent)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: How much further, Maria?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Just a little further, Cody. We'll be there soon.

(And soon they arrived indeed. Not long after that, they come across a clearing where they find the circus tent)

Kyle/Human Kite: Whoa! There really is a circus tent out in the woods.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: And Ike is in there?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Precisely (She notices something). Get down!

(Suddenly, Dimitri walks out of his circus tent, and the three teenagers duck into some bushes)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Who is he?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: He appears to be a clown of some kind.

Kyle/Human Kite: You think that clown kidnapped, Ike?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Probably. (They see Dimitri go off into the forest somewhere) He's gone. Now's our chance, follow me!

(The three teenagers leave their hiding spot and enter the circus tent. Upon entering the tent, our heroes start to look for Ike)

Kyle/Human Kite: Ike, where are you! Answer if you can hear me!

Ike: Kyle? Is that you? I'm up here! Help me!

(Kyle, Cody, and Maria look up at the tent's ceiling to find Ike dangling up there in his cage)

Kyle/Human Kite: Ike, there you are!

Ike: Get me down from here!

Kyle/Human Kite: Don't worry, Ike, I'm coming! (He starts to fly upwards towards the cage, the knife at the top of his kite ready to cut Ike down. But before he can do anything, Maria senses something…)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Ah!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Maria, what's wrong?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Something's coming fast. And it's coming right at Kyle! (Calls up to him just as Kyle made it to the ropes holding Ike's cage up) Kyle, get out of the way?

Kyle/Human Kite: Huh?

(Kyle looks behind him to find a giant beach ball flying towards him)

Dimitri: Clown Surprise, coming at you!

(The ball hits Kyle and it explodes, sending Kyle flying back towards the ground)

Ike: Kyle!

(Cody and Maria come to Kyle's aid)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Kyle, are you okay?

Kyle/Human Kite: I'm fine.

Dimitri: Well, well, well. What have we here? It seems that a trio of rats have wandered into my circus, and they're trying to make off with my blood.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Blood, huh? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're the third advocate?

Dimitri: You're correct sir! I am Dimitri Molarski! And I'm willing to bet that you three are some of these Saints that Satan warned me about. So what brings you killjoys here?

Kyle/Human Kite: That's my brother you have up there! We're here to rescue him.

Dimitri: You're here to rescue him? My, what a wonderful display of brotherly love! It makes me sick.

Kyle/Human Kite: The fact that you are killing innocent children and harvesting their blood makes us sick. So listen, we have a deal for you. Why don't you give up on harvesting blood, give me my brother back, and maybe we'll let you go peacefully.

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! You expect me to do what you say just because you're the hero of this story?

Kyle/Human Kite: It was worth a try.

Dimitri: Now here's my proposition! You can either leave now and never come back, or I can harvest both your blood, and your brothers' blood…I like my plan better, so let's get this over with.

(Dimitri reaches into _his own mouth_ and pulls out a sword)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I've heard of sword swallowing, but that's ridiculous.

Dimitri: (Whistles) Oh, Poochy, we have dinner guests!

(Out of nowhere, the giant dog balloon animal lands in front of our heroes, and Dimitri floats up towards it and rides its back)

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! This is going to be fun!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Thinking to himself) Damn, I don't think the three of us are enough to handle this guy. We need more of our friends.

(He looks over at Maria and Kyle, who are ready to fight. Cody then holds up his staff, and the ruby on it starts to glow)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fortune Bubble!

(He slams his staff down, and before Maria and Kyle know it, they are surrounded by a protective bubble)

Kyle/Human Kite: Cody, what are you doing?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Just find more of our friends and come back here! I'll try and fight this guy as long as I can!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Don't be foolish, Cody! You don't stand a chance against this clown!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I know, but I've got to try. (With a wave of his staff, the bubble goes flying) Just find our friends and hurry back! Good luck!

Kyle & Maria: CODY!

Dimitri: Do you really think you can stand up to me? You might look smart in that costume, but you are an absolute idiot!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I never really thought of myself as the scholarly type. But enough talk, I'm going to take you down (Takes out his katana) Let's go!

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! You're arrogance will be your downfall, boy-o! Poochy, charge! (Poochy and Dimitri run up to Cody)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: RAAAAAAAAHHHH! (He charges up to the duo and they prepare to clash)

(We then cut to Maria and Kyle, who float back to the outside of the Vista Hiking Trail. The bubble that Cody made pops, and Maria and Kyle begin to worry about Cody)

Kyle/Human Kite: We've got to go back for Cody! He doesn't stand a chance, Maria!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Don't worry about him, Kyle. You heard what Cody said, we have to find our friends for reinforcements. Which one of the Saints do you know are available?

Kyle/Human Kite: I think Leon gets off of work now. We should ask him. (They see Leon's car as he drives down the road) There he is now!

(The two teens jump in front of the car and stop Leon)

Leon: Hey, what are you guys doing? Who is that girl you're with, Kyle?

Kyle/Human Kite: Leon, this is Maria. She's the new addition to the South Park Saints. We'll talk more later. Right now, my brother Ike and Cody are in trouble! They've been kidnapped by a clown that's also the third advocate, and now he's going to harvest their blood!

Leon: Really?

Kyle/Human Kite: Yeah! We have to round up some of the others and go after them.

Leon: Okay, who should I go after?

Kyle/Human Kite: Leon, see if you can find Sam, and tell him to call Wendy. Maria, I need you to find Cartman, Tweek, and Token. I'll go on and look for Bebe, Mr. Stevens, Mephesto, Sophocles, Mr. Slave, and Kevin and Millie.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Why Kevin and Millie?

Kyle/Human Kite: I hear that they are trying to learn how to fight alongside us. They'll use this mission to show us what they have. Anyway, do we all know what our jobs are?

Maria: Got it.

Kyle/Human: Okay. I think the people I requested should be a reasonably sized posse. Let's go!

(The three saints split up and look for their assigned members. We first cut to Leon, who pulls his car up to the driveway of the Cooper Residence. Leon leaves his car and knocks on the door. Sam doesn't answer, but he hears the music of Ludacris' Roll Out and a vacuum cleaner. Leon looks through the window to see Sam vacuuming the living room and singing along to the music)

Sam: (Singing) I got my twin glock .40s, cocked back! Me and my homies, so drop that! We rolling on twenties, with the top back! So much money, you can't stop that! I got my twin glock .40s, cocked back! Me and my homies, so drop that! We rolling on twenties, with the top back! So much money, you can't stop that!

(As Sam is vacuuming, he takes a glance at the window and sees Leon. Sam gets startled, turns off his vacuum, turns off the music and lets Leon in)

Sam: (Opening the door for Leon) Howdy, Leon. What's up?

Leon: Cody has been kidnapped.

Sam: What?

Leon: That's right. Apparently, he, Kyle, and Maria tried to go look for Ike, they found him in a circus tent, but some clown that also happens to be an advocate caught them in the act, and now he has both Ike and Cody. Now Kyle wants me to enlist yours and Wendy's help. Can you call her right now?

Sam: Of course. (He takes out his cell phone) Where are we meeting up at?

Leon: They said the Vista Hiking Trail. You and Wendy meet us there in your costumes. I'll see you there!

(He leaves as Sam continues to call Wendy. We then cut to South Park Laboratories where Mephesto is showing Kevin the new DNA samples, Millie is admiring the guns Sophocles has given her, and Sophocles and Mr. Slave are trying to upgrade Mr. Slave's chainsaw so that it can also be part gun)

Alex Slave: So I was thinking that maybe I should upgrade my saw blades to sharpened diamonds.

Sophocles: Why diamonds?

Alex Slave: Diamonds are the hardest material on the planet. Can you imagine if I had diamond saw blades? Not only would I be kicking major ass, but I'd look fabulous while doing it.

Sophocles: If that's what you want. You're the boss. (Continues to work on the chainsaw)

(The tranquility is broken when Kyle flies through the window and crashes into the wall)

Sophocles: I have a door you know.

Kyle/Human Kite: Sorry about that, Dr. Sophocles.

Mephesto: What brings you here, Kyle?

Kyle/Human Kite: We found the third advocate, some clown named Dimitri Molarski. We need your help to take him down. He's kidnapped my brother and Cody, and….

Sophocles: My nephew's in trouble! (Shrieks) Hang on, Cody, Uncle Sophocles is coming to the rescue! (Grabs his scythe and runs out of the lab super fast)

Alex Slave: Wait, what about my chainsaw! These diamond blades won't install themselves!

Sophocles: (From a distance) Fuck your stupid blades! Your Chainsaw Gun is enough!

Alex Slave: Whatever.

Kyle/Human Kite: Anyway…we're all meeting up at the Vista Hiking Trail.

Mephesto: Sure, we'd be glad to help. Let me just get my newest experiment and we'll meet you there.

Kevin: (Stares at the briefcase full of DNA samples) Looks like it's time to see what goodies Mephesto gave me.

Millie: And it looks like it's time to see what these babies can do. (Her guns include two shot guns strapped to her back, and a flare gun, a small grenade launcher, a blue pistol that fires ice beams, a stun gun, and a spear gun attached to a brown belt) I'm ready to rock!

Alex Slave: We'll gear up in our costumes and we'll meet you at the hiking trail, Kyle.

Kyle/Human Kite: Excellent. I just have to get a few more people and I'll see you there.

Alex Slave: Got it!

(Cut to the local ice cream parlor, where Cartman, Token, and Tweek are eating some fudge sundaes with vanilla ice cream)

Cartman: (Devouring his sundae) Nice ice cream parlor, Tweek.

Tweek: Thanks. It got pretty good reviews on sites like Yelp and Trip Advisor.

Token: They deserve them because holy crap this ice cream is good!

Tweek: That's because it's homemade. I hear they use special ingredients from France.

Token: I totally have to take Nichole here on one of our dates.

Tweek: You should, she'd love it.

(As that's happening, Maria busts through the door and runs towards the three boys' table)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Guys!

Token: Maria? How'd you find us!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hello, I have powers! Remember?

Token: True. So what's up?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Cody's in trouble! The third advocate kidnapped him! He's also the one who kidnapped Ike.

Tweek: What…Really? We got to go!

Cartman: You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up. I'm busy eating my sundae.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: So you'd rather eat than help your friends. (Pulls a coupon out of her robe pocket) Okay, then I guess you don't want a buy one sundae get one free coupon.

Cartman: T-Two sundaes!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I was thinking about giving you this coupon as compensation for helping me, but if you'd rather sit back and stuff your face, I guess I'll have to give this coupon to either Tweek or Token.

Cartman: Did I say I'd rather eat my sundae? What I mean to say is that I would love to help you guys!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I knew you'd see things my way. (Gives him the coupon)

Token: Hey, not fair! I'm the one with the girlfriend! I get one sundae and she gets the free one!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Don't care about that right now! Get your butts in gear, grab your costumes, and meet me at the Vista Hiking Trail!

(The four teens leave as we cut to Kyle knocking on the door to the Stevens' Residence. Mrs. Stevens is the one who answers the door)

Mrs. Stevens: Oh, you're one of Bebe's friends, right?

Kyle/Human Kite: That's right. My name is Kyle Broflovski. Are Bebe and Mr. Stevens home?

Jeffrey: Up here!

(Kyle looks up to find Jeffrey Stevens just sitting on the roof of his house)

Kyle/Human Kite: Mr. Stevens, why are you sitting on the roof?

Jeffrey: I find it rather calming up here. I don't know what it is?

Kyle/Human Kite: Can you come down here, it's important.

(Jeffrey jumps down from the top of the roof and sticks the landing)

Jeffrey: What's up?

Kyle/Human Kite: As you know, my brother Ike has been kidnapped. So Cody, Maria and I decided to go after him, and we found the third advocate. But Cody got kidnapped in the process. We're rounding up a small posse to go back and save him. You in?

Jeffrey: (Turns to his wife) Darling, do you mind?

Mrs. Stevens: Not at all. And I'll have dinner ready on the table when you and Bebe get back.

Jeffrey: (Hugs her) Wonderful.

Kyle/Human Kite: So where's Bebe?

Jeffrey: She's upstairs, but…

Kyle/Human Kite: Thanks. (He runs inside and heads up the stairs)

Jeffrey: No wait! (He chases after him)

(We cut to the bathroom where Bebe is happily taking a bubble bath)

Bebe: (Sighs contently) Nothing like a nice hot bath after such a long day. (She sinks into the tub so that only her head is showing) So peaceful. I don't think anything can ruin such a beautiful moment.

(Just then, Kyle busts into the bathroom, catching Bebe's attention)

Kyle/Human Kite: Bebe, are in he-Holy Shit!

Bebe: (Tries to cover up her privates) AAAAHHHH! Kyle, what the hell!

Kyle/Human Kite: (Stuffs some toilet paper up his nose to stop a nosebleed as he covers his eyes) I'm sorry, Bebe. I had no idea! Don't get mad at me!

Jeffrey: (From the hallway) Tried to warn you not to go in there.

Bebe: (Dries herself off and puts on a fluffy pink bathrobe) You can open your eyes now, Kyle. (He does so) So why the hell did you think it was necessary to barge in on my private time?

Kyle/Human Kite: It's important!

Bebe: Whatever it is, couldn't it have waited until _after_ my bath!

Kyle/Human Kite: No, just hear me out! So Cody, Maria and I went into the woods after the guy that kidnapped my brother. But before we could free him, the kidnapper found us, and it turned out to be the third advocate!

Bebe: Mmm-hmm.

Kyle/Human Kite: We were about to fight the advocate when Cody saved us, but now I think he's in trouble and…

Bebe: (Gasps with shock) The advocate has Cody!

Kyle/Human Kite: That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Bebe: (With fire in her eyes) Where…

Kyle/Human Kite: Uh…Vista Hiking Trail.

Bebe: Fuck my bath! I'm out for blood now! You mess with my Codykins, you mess with me! I'll see you there, Kyle.

Kyle/Human Kite: Excellent.

(We then cut to a few moments later where Maria, Leon, and Kyle regroup at the Vista Hiking Trail entrance. Leon is in his Beo-Wolf costume. After a while, the Saints that they were assigned to get arrive at the entrance as well. While everyone else took a car, Sam and Wendy took Sam's motorcycle. They all get out of their means of transportation and meet up with the three heroes. Mephesto has a new monstrosity that appears to have the head and feet of a crocodile and the body and tail of a wolf)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Looks at the wolf/crocodile hybrid) Okay, what is that thing?

Mephesto: Meet the Wolfodile! I created him just yesterday.

Millie: Of course you did.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Glad to see you all could make it. Are you ready to go save Ike and Cody?

Cartman/Coon: You know it. Just make sure you give me that coupon after this.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Trust me, you'll get your coupon. Now let's go!

(The group of 16 head into the forest, ready to fight)

Kyle/Human Kite: Don't worry, Ike, we're coming to save you!

Sophocles: I hope Cody is okay.

Token/Tupper Wear: Don't worry, doc, I'm sure Cody is just fine.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: This advocate better look out. Because when I find him, I'm going to drag him onto the sidewalk and beat him until he PISSES BLOOD!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wow, you have a lot of anger in you, Bebe.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You'd be mad too if someone threatened to hurt your boyfriend!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Looks over at Sam and blushes) Yeah, I guess I would.

Sam/Sir Justice: You say something, Wendy?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Uh…nothing. Let's just keep forging ahead.

Sam/Sir Justice: Right! Saints, ho!

(As the saints keep marching on, Kevin and Tweek approach Sam and quietly talk to him)

Kevin: I think Wendy has a thing for you, Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: You think so?

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Yeah. We saw how she was looking at you. She likes you big time.

Sam/Sir Justice: You know something. I always thought she was a cute kid when we were younger, and she's still a cutie now. Not only that but she treats me pretty well, and I treat her well, and we don't fight often. To tell you the truth, I have played around with the concept of Wendy and me dating on more than one occasion. I was just always nervous about asking her what she thinks. But now that I know she has feelings for me, that just puts a whole new spin on things.

Kevin: You should go ahead and do it before someone else sweeps her off her feet.

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't know. I mean, how will her parents react to the news? Also, we've been friends for eight years. So becoming more than friends will feel surreal as fuck.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Being boyfriend and girlfriend isn't too different from being just regular friends. The only difference is that you guys can do things like kiss, cuddle, and…(makes bed rocking noises)…and not feel weirded out by it. Bottom line, if you really like Wendy that way, ask her out.

Sam/Sir Justice: You know what. You guys are right. I should ask her out. The next chance I get, I'm doing it.

Kevin: Attaboy!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Guys this is it!

(The 15 saints and 1 animal hybrid come up to the clearing and see the giant circus tent)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: So that's where the next advocate is hiding out at, eh?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: It's also where Ike and Cody are being held captive.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I'm going in swords blazing! Nobody stop me!

Sam/Sir Justice: Hang on, Bebe. This advocate is probably expecting us to use the front door. Right now, we have the element of surprise. Let's not waste it. I say we see if there's a back entrance we can use.

(The saints try and look for a secret entrance to use, but they are being spied on by Dimitri and one of his party balloons that has a security camera attached to it)

Dimitri: Mmm-mmm-mmm! More blood, yummy!

(He snaps his fingers and a secret entrance randomly appears in the form of a cellar door that goes somewhere underground. Our 16 heroes come across it)

Sam/Sir Justice: See, I told you guys if we looked hard enough there'd be a secret entrance. (He opens the cellar door and motions for Wendy to enter) Ladies first.

(Instead, Bebe comes charging in first)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Hold on, Codykins! I'm coming for you!

(Everyone looks on in confusion as a result)

Mephesto: Give her credit, she has dedication to her job.

(Everyone else goes into the secret entrance and they come across the beginning of an amusement ride similar to the likes of Splash Mountain with a small boat sitting in a small stream)

Millie: Check it out. It's some kind of log flume ride.

Cartman/Coon: Cool. You think this will take us to the circus tent?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Probably

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Is it safe?

Sam/Sir Justice: Looks like it. All aboard!

(The Saints get on the boat and buckle their safety blets)

Sam/Sir Justice: I think I saw a rope tied to a post that's keeping the boat anchored here. Leon, be a lamb and untie it for us.

(Just as Leon was about to untie the rope, it just randomly disappears)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Done.

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright. (The boat begins to go down the stream) And we're off!

(The boat goes into a small cave. Inside that cave is a whole bunch of colorful lights)

Sam/Sir Justice: Nice atmosphere. Whoever this advocate is, he sure knows how to make an awesome log flume ride.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: (Notices something) Oh Jesus, look at that!

(Sam looks to see that Mr. Slave is pointing at a display that has a Sir Justice doll impaled on a bunch of wooden spikes)

Sam/Sir Justice: That is just not right!

(As the boat floats further along the stream, our heroes see more gruesome displays that depict their deaths. The next display gave our heroes a jump scare as it had doll versions of Fuchsia Tigress, Sharp Edge Stevens, Glamorous Gardener, Dr. Sophocles, and Sgt. Stevens getting hung from a noose)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Oh what the hell!? What the actual hell!?

(The next display has a Beo-Wolf doll getting cooked over a campfire with an apple in his mouth)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: (Shutters) That's so messed up.

(The next display has a Mephesto doll locked in a cage with a bear, and the bear promptly mauls the doll)

Mephesto: Oh my. Wolfodile, cover your eyes! (He covers his hybrid's eyes)

(The next display has Kevin and Millie dolls sitting on a stool with guns in front of them. When the timer goes off, the guns blast the dolls' heads off)

Kevin: Yikes!

Millie: Sweet Jesus!

(The next display has Coon, Peppy Prince, and Tupper Wear dolls in three guillotines. The blade lowers and it cuts the dolls heads off)

Token/Tupper Wear: Holy shit!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Throws up into the stream)

(The next display has Human Kite and White Mind Maiden dolls being pulled by a rack until they are ripped in half and the cotton inside the dolls stars pouring out)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Gah!

Kyle/Human Kite: Nasty!

Sam/Sir Justice: Whoever this advocate is, he certainly has a sick and twisted mind to make a ride like this.

Cartman/Coon: Probably a bad time to mention that I'm actually having a bit of fun.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Of course you are.

Sophocles: What is that!

(He points at the next display, which is the orb that Sam sealed Damien away in, except it's made out of cardboard. A doll of Damien them rises out of an opening in the orb and makes an evil laughing sound effect)

Kyle/Human Kite: I've had just about enough of this ride! Dimitri! Wherever you are, give me my brother back!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Yeah! And give me back my Cody!

(Suddenly, Dimitri's voice comes out of nowhere)

Dimitri: Aww, you want off my little ride? No problem, it's almost over.

(The then see a gateway shaped like Dimitri's face. The effigy is also made of cardboard and has red glowing eyes, steam blowing out the nostrils, and sharp yellow teeth at the mouth. The stream flows through Dimitri's mouth)

Sam/Sir Justice: We must be getting close. Get ready guys because I think it's time for a…

(They then get cut off by a steep drop in the stream. The stream turns into a waterfall, and our 15 saints and 1 animal hybrid go careening downwards)

Saints: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(We then cut to black. When we come back, Sam is waking up from unconsciousness)

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh, what happened? (He then looks to see that he's in the main circus tent all tied up and dangling over a net) What the fuck?!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Glad to see you're up.

(Sam looks to find his comrades tied up and dangling over the net with him)

Sam/Sir Justice: How did this happen?

Token/Tupper Wear: I don't know. We all woke up like this.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Hey guys.

(Everyone looks to find Cody and Ike dangling with them)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Cody, thank goodness!

Kyle/Human Kite: Ike, you're alright!

Ike: Yeah, for now.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Struggling in his ropes) Ngah! Let me out of here! I hate being bound!

(Suddenly, Dimitri enters the tent and sees the Saints are all awake)

Dimitri: Well look who just woke up! I hope you all slept well.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sarcastically) Yeah, like a log!

Dimitri: Glad to hear that! And the next time you sleep will be even better than the last time (His eyes go red, his yellow teeth sharpen, and his voice gets demonic) _**because it'll be a permanent sleep!**_

(He laughs maliciously as he snaps his fingers and the net catches on fire)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Staring down at the net) Oh that's not good!

Sam/Sir Justice: Hang on, everyone! I'll get us out of here! (He tries to feel around in his bondage for his lightsaber, but can't find it anywhere) Hey, where's my stuff?

Cartman/Coon: Yeah, I think my claws are gone too!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: And so is my sword bag!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Where the fuck is my wolf pelt!?

Dimitri: (Clears his throat as he snaps his fingers again, and in a puff of smoke, a cart holding our heroes' weapons and a cage containing the Wolfodile appears) Looking for these?

Kevin: Shit! He must've taken our weapons when we were unconscious.

Mephesto: (Calling out to Wolfodile) Wolfodile, don't worry! Daddy's going to be fine!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hey, you forgot one thing, Dimitri! I have legitimate superpowers! I'll bust myself out of here with those. (She tries to use her powers, but can't) What?! Where are my powers?!

Dimitri: Look above you!

(Maria looks up and finds a device that's glowing pink)

Dimitri: That little doohickey up there neutralizes any and all superpowers. That is, everyone's except for mine because _I_ created it! As long as that machine stays on, you're as normal as everyone else!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Damn, he's good.

Dimitri: I'd love to chat some more with you all because you seem like lovely people, but I'm an advocate, and I'd much rather kill you. You understand, yes?

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Yeah, we get it. We understand.

Token/Tupper Wear: Whose side are you on, dude?

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: I just want peace!

Dimitri: But before you all leave for the other side, I'd like to tell you all my origin story. And I'll tell you all…through song!

(His accordion comes out of nowhere and he starts playing and we get a glimpse of his back story. (Note: I have no melody for the lyrics so just make up your own) The first shot of the background we see Dimitri as a teenager wearing the exact same clothes and make up he is now. He is performing in front of a crowd of people as they put money into a box for him.

Dimitri: (Singing) Oh, as a young boy, I made people laugh! It brought me such joy to see their glee! But even though I had a lot of fun, I still made them pay a fee.

(The next shot is of his father, a fat middle aged man wearing a wife-beater shirt, and blue boxer underwear. He is carrying a bottle of beer. We also see where he and his father lived: A crappy rundown apartment in Italy)

Dimitri: (Singing) My father and alcoholic, and my mother has run off! We were poor and had nothing to eat! Living in an apartment down in Italia, not fun, so my father decided to cheat!

(The next shot is of his father, now wearing a blue suit, talking to a group of men wearing black suits in an alley way: The mafia)

Dimitri: (Singing) Papa went to the mafia, hoping to get some cash. At first things were great, I had no idea that what he did was rash.

(The next shot shows them living in a mansion in a beautiful neighborhood)

Dimitri: (Singing) While I still loved to make people laugh, this I won't deny, I loved the new lifestyle we had! It was, how you say, "fly."

(The next shot has the mafia coming into the mansion living room with guns. The mafia then promptly shoots Dimitri and his father dead)

Dimitri: (Singing) But the fun times soon ended, because of those goombahs my dad dealt with, came in and shot he and I both.

(The next shot has a strange man in a brown trench coat appear after the mafia left. This man is revealed to be Satan)

Dimitri: (Singing) This man then came in, and restored my life, asking if I'd like to help him out. I said, "What for?" and he said, "I saw you in the square, you're a funny, funny, man!" He showed his true self, and it was good old Beelzebub! We struck a deal and a friendship was born!

(The next shot shows a revived Dimitri wrecking havoc with his magic. We then see Dimitri having a meeting with Satan, involving Damien's imprisonment. The final shots are of Damien killing Warren and Robert from earlier as well as a few other random children)

Dimitri: (Singing) As an advocate I got new powers meant for killing! I was spreading my bosses magnificent word! Everywhere I went, chaos came with me, then the day came when his son got imprisoned, and then I started my blood harvest. Killing children, going town to town then…

Sam/Sir Justice: (Cuts him off as we cut back to reality) Stop! Stop! Stop! God, you're awful at singing. And did you just stop rhyming midway through that song.

Dimitri: Yes I did! Suffice it to say, rhyming got boring and difficult after a while. My god, have either of you tried to rhyme on the fly before? (Groans) Anyway, let's get to killing! Any final words?

Cartman/Coon: Kiss my ass you fat clown!

(That comment seemed to hit a nerve and Bebe notices)

Dimitri: How dare you, raccoon boy! I'm just big boned!

Kyle/Human Kite: (Turns to Cartman) Sounds a lot like you when you were a kid, eh, Cartman?

Cartman/Coon: Just shut up!

Dimitri: Well if that's all you guys have to say…(Voice turns demonic) _**it's time for a barbeque!**_

(He claps his hands and the ropes start to lower down slowly towards the fiery net. Everyone is looking nervously down at their impending doom…all except Bebe, who just looks at Dimitri and says…)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Wow, I never would've imagined that we, the South Park Saints, would be killed off by Satan's fattest advocate.

Dimitri: What?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I don't know what's funnier: Your pathetic attempts and singing and rhyming, or the fact that you're as round as a tortilla.

Dimitri: Shut up.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You're so fat that if you wore a yellow suit, people would mistake you for a school bus or taxi cab!

Dimitri: (Gets even angrier) Shut up!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: By the way, you know that boy in the top hat? He's my boyfriend. That's right, we're a couple. You'll never experience what Cody and I have because you're so fat and ugly that no girl will ever want to lay with you! Not even if she was desperate, you fat clown.

Dimitri: (Voice gets demonic) _**ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO GET BURNED! YOU DESERVE A KNIFE TO THAT LITTLE BLACK HEART OF YOURS!**_

(Dimitri makes a knife appear out of nowhere, and he thows it at Bebe…who swings out of the way, and the knife instead hits the rope that's keeping her aloft, freeing her. She lands on the ground in front of the fiery net and glares at Dimitri)

Dimitri: Uh oh!

(Bebe runs up to Dimitri and kicks him in the face, knocking him unconscious)

Sophocles: Alright, Bebe! Now hurry up and free us before we end up well done!

Bebe: Got it! (She hurries over to the cart containing our heroes' weapons and after rummaging through the pile of weapons, she finds her sword bag. She takes a lot of swords and throws them) Blade Storm!

(Upon seeing Bebe throw the swords, the other saints swing so they are away from the fire net, and the swords break the ropes, freeing them. There's one sword that also breaks the device keeping Maria from using her powers)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Feels her powers return to her) Oh yeah! I'm back baby!

Bebe: (Takes out her double flutesaber) Stevens' Special Sword! (She frees the Wolfodile, which runs up to Mephesto and he hugs him)

Mephesto: It's okay, Wolfodile, daddy's here!

(Everyone gets their respective weapons from the cart)

Sam/Sir Justice: Looks like we're back in business! (Looks over at the unconscious Dimitri) Now let's get this clown! (He takes out his lightsaber and charges at the unconscious Dimitri) Let's get him!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Senses something is wrong) Sam, wait!

(Too late, Sam already made it to Dimitri. But before he could slash away at him…Dimitri explodes, blowing Sam back a bit)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Are you okay?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, thank you. (He gets up and sees the exploded remains of Dimitri) So…does this mean we win? That was easier than I thought.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Looks up and sees something) Hold that thought!

(The heroes look to see Dimitri ready to come down on Sir Justice with a mallet)

Dimitri: Malicious Mallet!

Sam/Sir Justice: Annie's Shield!

(He blocks the attack and manages to push Dimitri back. It's then that Mephesto's Wolfodile charges and bites Dimitri's leg off, causing him to fall to the ground)

Mephesto: Great work, Wolfodile!

Dimitri: (Grins evilly and gets demonic voice) _**Is that all you got?!**_ (His leg magically grows back as if nothing happened.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Oh you have got to be shitting me!

Dimitri: You poor damn fools…(demonic voice) _**Satan gave me powers beyond all comprehension! That includes regeneration! The only way you can kill me is if you destroy**_ **all** _ **of me, my entire body!**_

(Wolfodile is ready to charge and bite at Dimitri again, but he pulls out his mallet and bashes the Wolfodile's skull in, killing him)

Mephesto: WOLFODILE!

Dimitri: _**Who wants to be next?**_

Sam/Sir Justice: Damn it! Do we even have any sort of attacks that can completely destroy a body?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: The best we have is my Wrath of the Tigress and Cody's Fantasia of Riches, but even then the former attack results in the opponent getting badly burned, and the later is just an energy blast that hurt the opponent in an explosion.

Sam/Sir Justice: So that's a no. Well, we may not have such an attack, but we've got to try and do something to take this guy down! Who's with me?

Saints: Yeah!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to Mephesto and Ike) You two get out of here. It's much too dangerous. We'll handle Dimitri.

Mephesto: Right.

Ike: Good luck, Kyle.

Kyle/Human Kite: Thanks.

(Mephesto and Ike leave)

Kevin: (Opens his suitcase of DNA samples) Things are about to get crazy! Let's rock! (He injects one of the samples into him, and one painful transformation later, he has a beak on his face and a pair of wings replacing his arms) Come get some!

Dimitri: (Normal voice) Golly, I guess we're really going to have a fight to the death now, aren't we?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Cracks his knuckles) Oh yeah!

Dimitri: (Demonic voice) _**Then let's not waste anymore time!**_ (One of his clown shoes grows to a magnificent size and he attempts to squash the Saints) Clown Crusher!

(The saints dodge out of the way just as Dimitri slams his giant foot on the ground. The foot goes back to its original size as he sees The 15 Saints surround him)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: I'll take first crack at him! (He touches the pads on the paws of his pelt) Wolf Clone! (24 Leon/Beo-Wolf clones form and charge at Dimitri)

Dimitri: You know what they say…(Demonic voice) _**Me's a crowd!**_

(By snapping his fingers, 24 Dimitri clones appear and they fight off the Leon clones. Eventually, only the real Dimitri and Leon are standing)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Damn, you're good! But I'm better! Wolf Roll! (He rolls up in a ball and "spin dashes" his way into Dimitri. Leon hits Dimitri and sends him flying into the audience seats)

Millie: (Takes out her spear gun) Where do you think you're going, clowny?

Kyle/Human Kite: Yeah, we're not done with you! (A harpoon appears form the top of his kite) Kite Harpoon!

Millie: Courageous Spear Gun!

(The two of them impale Dimitri with their weapons, but Dimitri dissolves)

Millie: We got him that time!

(Suddenly, Dimitri appears behind the two of them, and he pulls a sword out of his mouth)

Dimitri: Fool's Sword!

(He gets ready to slash and Millie and Kyle, but Maria jumps in front of the attack and blocks it with her hands that are surrounded by a pink aura)

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! What is this?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Pushes Dimitri back and prepares to attack with an arrow made of psychic energy) Psycho Arrows!

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! How fun!

(He floats in the air and gracefully dodges the attacks as they come at him)

Dimitri: You're going to have to try harder than that if you want to hit me, girly!

(Suddenly, he sees Kevin flying towards him)

Kevin: Wing Slap!

(He smacks Dimitri hard with his wing sending him careening towards the ground)

Kevin: (Comes flying downward at him, ready to stab at Dimitri with his beak) Pummel Peck!

Dimitri: (A big ball materializes in his hands and he throws it up at Kevin) Clown Surprise, coming at you!

(The ball hits Kevin and it explodes, knocking him out of the air)

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! Bye, bye, birdie!

Cartman/Coon: Rodent's Cleaver!

(He slashes Dimitri in the back with his cleaver, but Dimitri turns around and prepares to retaliate)

Dimitri: Come here! (Grabs Cartman by the collar of his shirt and his yellow teeth get sharp) I wonder how you'll look…(demonic voice) _**without a face!**_

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Shocking Shuriken!

Dimitri: Augh!

(The electrified shuriken cuts through Dimitri's arm, causing him to let go of Cartman)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You okay, Cartman?

Cartman/Coon: I'm good, thanks.

Dimitri: (His arm regenerates) First you fat shame me, and now you cut off my limbs! You really are a nasty little brat aren't you, blondie?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: At least I don't kidnap children and harvest their blood!

Dimitri: I have had it with your insolence child! (Takes out a seltzer bottle full of a yellow liquid) I think it's time I melt that pretty little face of yours! Toxic Seltzer!

(He fires the acidic liquid at Bebe, but Cody jumps in front of her)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fortune Bubble!

(Slamming his staff on the ground, a bubble forms and protects him and her from the acid)

Dimitri: Damn it all!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Has his barrier ware off)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Thanks, babe.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: My pleasure, darling. I think it's time I had some fun with this clown! Fantasia of Riches!

(He fires a blast of energy from the ruby on his staff, but Dimitri dodges by floating up in the air)

Dimitri: Jack in the Box Attack! (He throws down a blue and yellow box. The box opens up and reveals a human hand holding a bomb that it throws at Cody and Bebe)

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast!

(He fires the falcon shaped blast from his guns that detonates the bomb before it reaches Cody and Bebe)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Hey, nice shot!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gives a thumbs up and grins as Wendy gets ready to attack)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a big fireball from her boxing gloves up at Dimitri…who opens his mouth wide and swallows the fireball. He burps out smoke and licks his lips)

Dimitri: Mmm, spicy with a nice smoky flavor! I might get heartburn later, but it'll be worth it! Oh, ho, ho! (Takes the sword from out of his mouth) Fool's Sword, die! (He comes barreling towards Cody, Sam, Bebe, and Wendy, but Dr. Sophocles blocks the sword with his scythe. Sophocles pushes Dimitri back knocking him on his ass)

Sophocles: Jeffrey, Alex, I need you!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Right!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Got it!

Sophocles: Soul Chopper! (Fires an energy wave from his scythe)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket! (Fires his bullet bill)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Blaster! (Fires bullets from the gun that Sophocles installed in his chainsaw)

(Before the attacks could reach Dimitri however, he clones himself to create 30 Dimitri clones. The three attacks hit one of the clones instead)

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! Which one is the real me!? Only I know.

Sophocles: Keep firing, boys!

(Jeffrey, Sophocles, and Mr. Slave keep firing their ranged attacks, but they end up hitting clone after clone, and the more clones that they destroy, the more regenerate)

Dimitri: Oh, ho, ho! Getting tired gentleman!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Let me help! (Using her powers, she's able to locate the real Dimitri Molarski. She points at him) Right there, that one!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Thanks new girl!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: The name's Maria, and you can thank me later! Just attack the clown!

Token/Tupper Wear: Tweek and I will help you three!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: That's right! Celebration Cannon! (He fires some fireworks)

Token/Tupper Wear: Volatile Volley! (Throws a canister of red liquid)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Blaster!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket!

Sophocles: Soul Chopper!

(The five fighters hit Dimitri with their ranged attacks, and he comes plummeting back to ground level)

Kyle/Human Kite: Alright! We got him!

Dimitri: (Gets up) I'm not done yet! I still have an ace up my sleeve for you little rascals! (Whistles) Oh Poochy!

(In a puff of smoke, the familiar green balloon dog appears and grows to monumental sizes. Dimitri floats up and rides on Poochy's back again)

Cartman/Coon: That's your ace in the hole, dude? A fucking overinflated balloon animal? Piece of cake.

Dimitri: (Demonic voice) _**That's what you think, BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!**_

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Let's make some holes in that balloon! Cody, Eric, Bebe, Sophocles, Alex, you four are with me!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Yes, sir!

Sophocles: Got it!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Yes, daddy.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Let's go!

Cartman/Coon: Kill the doggie! Kill the doggie! Rodent's Cleaver!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Radical Rapier!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Stevens' Special Sword!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Virtuous Katana!

Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing!

(The five fighters slash at the balloon animal, but it doesn't pop)

Cartman/Coon: Why the fuck isn't this thing popping!?

(Poochy swipes at the five fighters with its leg, and knocks the five fighters back)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's try bullets! Bebe's Bullets!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Blaster!

Millie: (Grabs her two shotguns) Righteous Shotguns!

(The three fighters fire their bullets at the balloon animal, but the bullets ricochet off of it and head back at our heroes. Sam and Mr. Slave run for cover so they don't get hit by the returning bullets)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Let's heat things up! Wrath of the Tigress!

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare!

(The two heat based attacks have no effect either)

Kyle/Human Kite: Impossible! There's not even a scratch on him!

Kevin: That's it! I've had enough! (Flaps his wings and flies towards Poochy) Pummel Peck! (He attempts to peck at Poochy, but gets swiped at by Poochy instead)

Dimitri: (Laughs victoriously) You can't break my Poochy! He's the best!

Millie: Anybody got any bright ideas?

Sam/Sir Justice: Maybe…I'm thinking right now. Hmm…

Dimitri: Okay, Poochy, time to destroy everyone!

(Poochy roars loudly, and then Sam sees its mouth)

Sam/Sir Justice: (To himself) That's it! We have to aim some of our attacks inside that mouth! If we do that, I'm sure we'll be able to pop that inflatable mess!

Dimitri: Alright, Poochy…(Demonic voice) It's feeding time!

(Poochy opens his mouth and is ready to eat our heroes but…)

Sam/Sir Justice: Maria! Use your powers to hold this thing still, do it!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Got it! Psychic Grip!

(Using her powers, she's able to hold Poochy still and keep its mouth open)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright! Token, Tweek, Wendy, Mr. Stevens, Millie, let loose! Falcon's Blast!

Token/Tupper Wear: Volatile Volley!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Celebration Cannon!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket!

Millie: Flare of Justice! (Fires her flare gun)

(All of the attacks enter Poochy's mouth. The power from the attacks is too much for Poochy to handle and it starts to shake)

Dimitri: Poochy, what's wrong?

(In a loud pop noise, Poochy explodes and sends Dimitri flying skyward right out of his own circus tent)

Dimitri: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Before he gets back down to Earth, Sam comes up with another plan)

Sam/Sir Justice: We might not be able to kill him, but we can do the next best thing. Token, Millie. (He whispers in the two kids ears)

Token/Tupper Wear: Nice plan.

Millie: Let's do it!

(Dimitri starts to fall back down)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Here he comes!

Token/Tupper Wear: (Grabs a canister full of a green substance) Jelly Fling!

(He throws it up at Dimitri)

Dimitri: What in the name of…

(The canister hits Dimitri and he gets encased in green jell-o)

Millie: (Grabs her ice beam) Time to chill out! Polar Pistol!

(She fires the ice beam and freezes the jell-o, trapping Dimitri in an icy prison. But before he's completely frozen, Dimitri gets one last statement in)

Dimitri: You haven't seen the last of me you killjoys!

(And with that, Dimitri is encased in frozen jell-o. The fight is over and the third advocate has been taken down)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Finally, the nightmare ends.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: And another advocate is defeated.

Kyle/Human Kite: Maria, can you make sure that this is the real Dimitri and not another clone?

(Maria, using her powers, sees that this is in fact the real Dimitri)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Yup, this is the real Dimitri alright.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Great. Now to make a phone call to the police and tell them to take this clown away.

Sophocles: (Takes his cell phone) I'll make the call. Alex, Kevin, Millie, can you guys carry Dimitri back with us?

Kevin: Of course.

(We cut to Sam and Wendy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Way to think on your feet there, Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks. I usually come up with my best ideas under pressure…So, Wendy, there's something I want to tell you.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Really? Because there's something I want to tell you too.

Sam/Sir Justice: Ladies first. I'll let you talk first.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Thank you. Well, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Sam, I think I lo—

Kevin: (Calls for Sam) Hey, Sam! Can you help us out? This ice block is heavier than it looks.

Sam/Sir Justice: Coming! (Turns back to Wendy) Sorry, Wendy, I have to help them.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's okay. I understand.

(As Sir Justice goes to help his friends with carrying Dimitri, everyone gets ready to leave the circus tent, and we cut to Bebe, Cody, and Jeffrey)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Hugs Cody and plants kisses all over his face) Oh Cody, I'm so glad you're safe.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Chuckles) I'm always fine, sweetie. You had nothing to worry about. (She continues to kiss him) My, oh my, I was missed wasn't I?

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: My daughter really is crazy about you, Cody. Don't worry, my wife was the same way when she met me (Turns to his daughter). Come along, Bebe, your mother probably has dinner ready for us.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Okay.

(We then cut to Kyle and Maria as they walk out of the tent last)

Kyle/Human Kite: Hey, Maria, thank you for your help today. If it weren't for you, we'd never be able to find this tent and save Ike, or even beat Dimitri.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: It was my pleasure. Thank you for making me feel welcome in your little group.

Kyle/Human Kite: You're good company. Hey, how about we head back to my place. I'll ask my parents if you can stay for dinner.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: What are you having?

Kyle/Human Kite: Friday nights are usually reserved for Chinese food.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Count me in!

Kyle/Human Kite: Alright, let's go!

(All of the Saints head for home as we cut to the outskirts of Houston TX. A man that's wearing a black and red pope outfit complete with a silver pentagram necklace, a black pope hat and a silver papal ferula with a pentagram on it instead of a crucifix and a black jewel in the middle of it walks up to a sign that reads, "South Park 1,000 Miles". We then see the man's face, and he is a Caucasian male in his mid 20s with red eyes and brown hair)

Man: South Park, eh? (He has a black bag with him. He opens the bag and we see 50 bottles full of blood) Seems like the perfect place to round up my last half of blood for Damien, after being run out of Houston and all that. (He closes his bag and holds his hand to his heart) Soon, Satan, my master, your son shall be revived, and this whole world will be ours for the taking.

(The man continues to walk in South Park's direction as we finally reach the end of the episode)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: At the Broflovski Residence, Maria is with Kyle's family eating Chinese food. Gerald and Shiela are happy to have Ike back, and the three of them thank Kyle and Maria, who humbly accept the praise)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Sam, still dressed as Sir Justice, leads some police officers to Dimitri's circus tent where they find his bag full of blood. The police take the bag in for evidence)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: At the high security prison, the prisoners watch as they see a frozen Dimitri Molarski get dragged into a special cell with low temperatures so that way he can stay frozen. Among the prisoners watching, we see Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, and Paris Hilton trying to get a good look at what's going on)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Dr. Sophocles is _finally_ putting diamond blades onto Mr. Slave's chainsaw. Mr. Slave is understandably happy and ecstatic)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: At school, Sam is ready to tell Wendy how he feels about her…only to get interrupted by Kelly Rutherford-Menskin, who continues to fawn over Sam. Wendy just leaves, and Sam just glares at Kelly with annoyance)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: At lunchtime in school, Apollo is sitting alone when Jason flings a spoonful of mashed potatoes at him. Jason laughs, and out of retaliation, Apollo uses his powers to make Lola, who was walking by carrying a bowl of hot soup, slip and fall and get the hot soup all over Jason, causing him to scream in pain)

 **(Samayoinagara** **  
** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: The black pope from a few moments ago finally makes it to South Park and he grins evilly)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Bridgette is sitting on a bench in the town park, and she's looking at a wallet sized photo of her when she was 10 years old, and an 18 year old boy with brown hair, a red t-shirt, and blue jeans. They are both sitting on top of a clock tower and smiling)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #9: The South Park Saints hold a party at Cody's Mansion, welcoming their newest member, Maria. There's music, fun, and of course food. Apollo is watching our heroes from behind Cody's hedges and glaring at Maria, knowing that she's making a mistake for not following their father's wishes. Nevertheless, Maria is having a great time at the party and hanging out with her new friends)


	11. O, Brother, Where Art Thou (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 10: O, Brother, Where Art Thou (Part 1)

 **(Author's Note: Okay, I just want to get something out there right now. I've been getting some comments in regards to the alter egos of Wendy, Tweek, and Craig. Yes, I know! Fuchsia Tigress, Peppy Prince, and DJ C-Rage aren't the proper egos, Call Girl, Wonder Tweek, and Super Craig are. Here's the thing though: I figured it wouldn't matter because Fractured But Whole isn't released at the time of making this chapter, so I figured I'd have time to use my imagination (I know the trailer for the game is out, but still, I didn't think it would matter). If you don't like the egos that I have made for Tweek, Wendy, and Craig, that's fine. It's your opinion, and I'll respect it, I just want to clear the air so you all understand. Now, with all that said and done, have a blessed day and enjoy this next chapter)**

(It's a Tuesday night in late April, and a man wearing a brown cloak is walking through the town of South Park. This man has black hair and blue eyes. He eventually comes up to an abandoned old church and opens the door. The inside of the church is a mess. The wooden seats look rotted, there are cracks in the walls, and cobwebs and dust everywhere. The brown cloaked gentleman sees the same dark pope from the ending of last episode just standing in the altar)

Brown Cloak Man #1: Father Charon, I have arrived.

(Charon turns around and shows himself)

 **(Charon is a man in his mid 20s with red eyes and short brunette hair. He is wearing black shoes, and a black and red pope outfit complete with a silver pentagram necklace, a black pope hat over his brown hair and a silver papal ferula with a pentagram on it instead of a crucifix and a black jewel in the middle of it)**

Charon: I've been waiting for you my child. Please, have a seat.

(The brown cloaked man walks into the alter and sits down on a chair that Charon is placed for him)

Charon: Tell me, my child, are you ready to undergo the blood transfer?

Brown Cloak Man #1: Sir, yes sir!

Charon: Excellent. Your blood shall leave your body, and it shall flow on in the body of the son of Satan himself, Master Damien! (He takes out a big syringe from his pocket) May the unholy lord in the fires of hell bless this syringe! For it will be your blood's vessel into the body of a much better being! I have spoken!

(With that, Charon jabs the brown cloaked man in the chest and starts to extract his blood as it enters the syringe. The brown cloaked man convulses and shakes as he feels the blood drain from his body. He becomes woozy and eventually his eyes close and he dies. Charon removes the syringe from the man's chest and stares at it)

Charon: Perfect.

(Charon walks into a closet and grabs his bag. He empties the syringe into an empty bottle and places it in the bag with the other bottles of blood. Last time we saw him, he had 50 bottles, now the bottle count is somewhere in the 60s)

Charon: (Laughs sadistically) All of this blood is the blood of Satan's most devout followers. Satan is going to be so pleased when he learns of my progress. Oh, I love my work.

(He continues to giggle sadistically as we cut to the intro)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (7 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, and Dimitri). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Flashback: We cut to 18 years earlier, sometime in the year 2007, where we are at a hospital in Houston, TX. A young boy is being led down a hallway by his father. This young boy is an 8 year old Charon, and his father had just picked him up from school so that Charon could meet his new baby sister)

 **(8 year old Charon has short brunette hair and blue eyes and he is wearing a white t-shirt with a picture of a robot on it, blue jean shorts, and blue sneakers)**

 **(Charon's father has short blonde hair and green eyes. He has a long sleeve green button up shirt and brown pants with brown shoes)**

Charon (8 years): I can't wait to meet my new sister, father.

Charon's father: And I'm sure she can't wait to see you, Charon.

(The duo enter a room and find Charon's mother holding the baby in question. The baby is wrapped in a pink blanket, and Charon's mother is wearing a white hospital gown, and she has long brunette hair and blue eyes)

Charon (8 years): Oh, mother!

Charon's mother: Charon, you're here. Would you like to see your new baby sister?

Charon: Yes, please.

(He walks up next to the bed that his mother is resting in, and takes a closer look at the blue eyed baby that is Charon's sister. The baby in question smiles up at Charon and coos upon seeing him)

Charon (8 years): (To his parents) She's so little. (Back to the baby) Hi. I'm your big brother, Charon. I think we're going to have some great times ahead of us, sister. (The baby coos some more as the two new siblings stare at each other)

Charon's father: (Turns the flash off on his camera) Okay everyone, smile!

(Charon's father takes the picture of Charon and his newborn sister. We then fast forward back to present day 2025, where that same sister is now 18 years old and she's looking at a wallet sized version of that photo. Charon's sister…..is Bridgette. It's the end of another Wednesday at school, and Bridgette is at her locker looking at the photo when her boyfriend Clyde, as well as Kurt, Annie, Ursula, and Red come up to her)

Clyde: Hey, babe, what are you looking at?

Bridgette: (Snaps out of her thoughts) Huh, oh, hi guys. I was just looking at this old photo my father took the day I was born. (She shows her five friends the photo)

Annie: Aww, so cute!

Red: Hey, Bridgette, who's the boy in the photo?

Bridgette: Oh, that's my brother Charon.

Red: I didn't know you had a brother, Bridgette.

Bridgette: My family and I don't like to talk about him that much.

Annie: Why not? He is a part of your family, right? Why wouldn't you want to talk about him?

(Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula look at each other and nod)

Kurt: You guys don't know about what happened to him, do you?

Clyde: Oh my god! Did Charon die?

Bridgette: I don't really know. Do you guys remember when we came to visit Sam about 8 years ago?

Red: Of course.

Bridgette: Well, when I got back home, and I walked home from the bus station, I passed Charon as he had nothing on him except a backpack and the clothes on his back. He said he was going on some kind of spiritual journey to become a priest, and then he took off. We never really heard from him since that day. I don't know if he's still on a journey, if he's dead, or what. Kurt, Sam, and Ursula were the only ones I've told about this until now.

Clyde: So you don't know where your brother is, Bridge?

Bridgette: Nope.

Kurt: He was a cool guy, that's for sure. He inspired us to become the Houston Five, you know.

Annie: Really?

Ursula: That's right. (Looks depressed) I just hope that he comes back to us one day.

Red: I'm sure he will, Ursula. I know what'll take your mind off of him for right now. You want to go play some mini-golf? (Takes a coupon out of her backpack) I have a play one round play another round free coupon!

Ursula: I'd like that, my red rose.

Kurt: Annie and I better get to the bakery for our shift.

Annie: Yeah, we'll see you guys later.

(Annie, Kurt, Ursula, and Red leave as Clyde and Bridgette continue to talk)

Clyde: Want to come by my place and maybe we can continue to talk about your brother? My father just brought some cheddar cheese microwave popcorn. We can pop up some bags and watch re-runs of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Bridgette: (Smiles as she grabs her backpack and closes her locker) I'd like that. (They leave)

(We then cut to Sam, Heidi, Stan, Tweek, and Craig, who are packing up their bags and getting ready to leave)

Sam: Hey, have either of you guys seen Wendy at all today?

Stan: Nope, not at all.

Heidi: I think Wendy is at home with a terrible cold. Bebe told me at lunch earlier today.

Sam: Oh dear.

Tweek: Why do you want to know where Wendy is? Do you plan on asking her out?

Sam: Yeah, I was going to ask today, but I couldn't find her.

Heidi: Wait, Sam. Are you saying that you like Wendy that way?

Sam: I think so. I mean, we've been friends for eight years now, and she was the first person that showed me kindness when I first arrived in South Park.

Stan: As someone who dated Wendy a few years ago, even I have to admit that you two would make a great couple.

Sam: Thanks.

Heidi: Seems like everyone is finding love around here except me. (Looks at Tweek and Craig and tries to act cool) Hey, Tweek, Craig, what's going on?

Tweek & Craig: Not interested.

Heidi: Oh right, forgot that you two don't really like girls.

Craig: Is that gay rumor still going around? I thought that shit died out like six or seven years ago.

Heidi: No, there are still some people in this school who still think that you two are a couple.

Craig: Well we're not!

Sam: (Packs his bag and closes his locker) If Wendy is sick, I think I'm going to take it upon myself to take care of her.

Heidi: Good idea. I think there's a faculty meeting tonight so Mr. Testaburger won't be home until late, and Mrs. Testaburger works long hours at some kind of insurance company. Wendy will love this.

Sam: I'm going to go the store and get some supplies.

Heidi: Can I come too?

Sam: Why? So you can try and ask out Leon?

Heidi:…Maybe.

Sam:…Okay let's go.

(Heidi and Sam leave, but Stan looks like he's about to say something)

Stan: Hey, Heidi, can I just say…

Heidi: (From a distance) Can't talk now, see you tomorrow, Stan.

Stan: (Sighs in disappointment)

Craig: Well, well, well, from the sound of that sigh, I'd say you're trying to get back in the dating game, and you've chosen Heidi for your desired partner.

Stan: (Blushes out of embarrassment) Uh…I have to go now. See you guys tomorrow. (Runs like hell)

Tweek: Awful lot of pairings going on in this fanfiction.

Craig: Yeah, some of which aren't even canon with the original South Park series.

Tweek: Hence why this story is called a, "fanfiction."

Craig: True.

(We then cut to the office of the High School Therapist, Mr. Brewster. He's having a meeting with Apollo)

 **(Mr. Brewster is a chubby man in his 50s with grey hair, green eyes, and he is wearing a red sweater and brown khakis with brown loafers)**

Mr. Brewster: So, Apollo, you're saying that you're getting bullied just for reading books about the Murciélago family and Luther Von Cooper III and his weapons?

Apollo: Yeah. Just because I'd rather read and keep to myself, I get chastised and bullied. What kind of bullshit is that?

Mr. Brewster: Have you tried talking to your family about your problems?

Apollo: (Thinks of a lie to cover his true self) I never knew my mother, and my father is off on a long journey somewhere. I just live alone with my sister.

Mr. Brewster: I see. Have you tried talking with Maria about your problems?

Apollo: She's the opposite of me. Everyone just _loves_ Maria. Just because she's more outgoing and optimistic than I am means that everyone has to love her more than me.

Mr. Brewster: Well, people that have friends are less likely to be bullied. Do you have any friends of note, Apollo.

Apollo: Friends…who needs friends? Friends are just like any other person, except they have closer ties to you. People just live to hurt and take away from you, it doesn't matter who that person is. I don't need friends. I never have and I never will.

Mr. Brewster: But if you get friends, Apollo, you might be happier.

Apollo: Happiness is weakness. As soon as your enemy sees your joy, they try and take you down. These are the things that my father told me before he went away.

Mr. Brewster: Just trust me, Apollo. Why don't you join a club or try and socialize with the South Park Saints. I hear they're a nice group of people to be around. They even let in a new member called the White Mind Maiden.

Apollo: (Thinks to himself) So Maria really did join those goody-goody saints. Typical. (Out loud) I'm not interested. Principal Stevens sent me here so that you can try and help me with my problems, but you're just making them worse. I don't want or need friends, end of story.

Mr. Brewster: But Apollo, I'm trying to help you. Just listen to me.

Apollo: (Gets up and shouts…) I don't want any friends!

(When he shouted that, a flower pot that sat on Mr. Brewster's desk falls off and breaks. Mr. Brewster looked confused at his desk as Apollo runs out of his office)

Mr. Brewster: I wonder what that was all about?

Apollo: (Walks down the hall and sees that somebody spray painted the message, "Apollo Sucks" onto the wall) GOD DAMN IT! (He punches the wall, and that catches the attention of Stan and Kyle, who are leaving the school) What are you two looking at! (Stan and Kyle run away from him scared)

(We then cut to the grocery store where Sam and Heidi walk up to Leon's checkout line. Sam has a basket full of soup ingredients, cough medicine, cough drops, some tangerines, some green tea teabags, and a few boxes of tissues)

Heidi: I think Wendy will really love what you're doing for her, Sam.

Sam: (Places his items on the conveyor belt) I hope so. She's my friend and I want to make sure she's happy.

(Heidi and Sam are next in line and Leon starts scanning the items)

Leon: How are you two doing today?

Sam: We're doing great, thanks for asking Leon. How are things since we fought against Dimitri the other day?

Leon: Let's just say I think I have a fear of clowns now.

Sam: Can't say I don't blame you.

Leon: (As he scans the items) You picked a lot of nice items and cold remedies.

Sam: Yeah. Wendy is a little under the weather, so I'm going to take care of her today since her parents are busy tonight.

Leon: Well that's nice of you. You know, you're a great friend, Sam.

Sam: I try.

(As Sam hands Leon the proper cash, Heidi decides to make some moves on Leon)

Heidi: So…Leon.

Leon: (Hands Sam back his cash) What's up?

Heidi: Ever thought of doing something with those hands that didn't involve scanning groceries? Maybe you can use them for holding a cute girl like me?

Leon: Uh, Heidi, there is a two year age gap in between us. I don't think it'll work.

Heidi: So what? My parents have a five year age gap between them, and they're making it work. Besides, if you're scared that I'm not of age and you are, I've got news for you. I just turned 18 last month, legally making me an adult just like you. (Whispers to him) You don't even have to hold me down, Leon.

Leon: (Grows uncomfortable as he hands Sam his groceries and change) Thank you for shopping, have a great day.

Sam: Thanks, Leon, have a great day.

(Sam and Heidi leave)

Heidi: Leon looked uncomfortable. What did I say?

Sam: Let's just say you have a lot to learn if you want a boyfriend, Heidi.

(Upon leaving the supermarket, Sam and Heidi head for Sam's motorcycle. Kelly Rutherford-Menskin, who just happened to be in the area, notices him and follows him towards his bike)

Kelly: Hi, Sammy.

Sam: (Under his breath) Oh no, not Kelly.

Kelly: (Catches up to the duo) Wait up, silly. What's up?

Sam: Nothing Kelly.

Kelly: Doesn't look like nothing. (Looks at his groceries) It looks like you gone grocery shopping. What did you buy?

Heidi: As if it's any business of yours.

Kelly: You can tell me, Sammy. Who are you buying those groceries for? Yourself, your family, me?

Sam: Actually, I'm bought these for Wendy. She's sick today, and I'm going to take care of her while her parents are away.

Kelly: (Gets jealous) W-Wendy?

Heidi: That's right, Kelly. Your wonder boy here has eyes for another girl. What now?

Kelly: I…I can't believe this! I just…NO! No, you do love me! I know you do, Sam! This is a joke! You always did have an interesting sense of humor.

Sam: Sorry, Kelly, but this is real. I'm actually getting feelings for Wendy, and I think today is the day where I tell her how I feel. There is no better day, honestly.

Kelly: (Laughs) Oh, so funny, Sam. You always know how to make a girl laugh. (Her laughter slowly turns to tears) I know you're joking. You actually love me, and you always have. You want me badly…(Starts bawling) YOU WANT ME BADLY, SAMMY, WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (Runs off crying)

Sam: I feel terrible about that.

Heidi: You had to tell her. I just hope she got the message. Her behavior just now is exactly the type of behavior that most psychotic lovers have.

Sam: That's just in the movies. Kelly will probably cry it off, watch a rom-com while eating some Haagen Dazs, and move on with her life.

Heidi: I hope you're right.

Sam: (Puts the groceries in the top box of his motorcycle, hops on, and straps on his helmet, offering the second one to Heidi) Need a ride home?

Heidi: No thanks. It's a beautiful day, so I think I'll walk home.

Sam: Suit yourself. Be safe. (With that, Sam takes off for Wendy's house)

(We then cut to the Donovan Residence where Clyde and Bridgette are just chilling out watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns and eating some microwave cheddar cheese popcorn)

Bridgette: I've never had cheddar cheese microwave popcorn before. It tastes heavenly! Almost as if God has blessed my taste buds.

Clyde: (Chuckles) I'm glad you like it, sweetie. (A commercial break comes on the T.V) So, Bridgette, I don't know if I'll be opening up old wounds by asking this, but what was your brother like?

Bridgette: (Sighs and thinks for a moment) Well, Clyde, let me first ask you something. You have a younger sister, right?

Clyde: Yeah.

Bridgette: How do you feel about her?

Clyde: She can be annoying sometimes, but when it gets down to it, I love her like any brother would love a sister, and I enjoy spending time with her whenever we get the chance.

Bridgette: Well, that's kind of how Charon and I felt about each other. Other than people like Sam, Kurt, or Ursula, Charon was my absolute best friend. I remember one time he let me come to his hangout.

 **(Flashback time: 2015)**

(We cut to the streets of downtown Houston, and 8 year old Bridgette is walking with 16 year old Charon to an unknown location)

 **(8 year old Bridgette's wardrobe isn't different from when she was 10 (Bridgette in the Prologue Arc) and 16 year old Charon is wearing a plain white t-shirt, white pants, and black shoes)**

Bridgette (8 years): Brother, where are we going?

Charon (16 years): You'll see. Let's just take a quick stop first.

(Charon and Bridgette stop and get some Fudgsicles from an ice cream vendor. From there, Charon takes Bridgette to his hangout: The clocktower at Fort Sam. The two kids climb up to the top and just hang out inside to eat their ice cream)

Bridgette (8 years): The Fort Sam clock tower? But only you and your friends hang out up here, Charon. I don't understand.

Charon (16 years): This was the spot where my friends and I would hang out after school when we were your age. I figured since you just turned 8 about a few months ago, I'd show you my hang out. Maybe you and your friends can hang out here from now on. It's really quite calming isn't it? Really gives you time to collect your thoughts.

Bridgette (8 years): I guess. (Takes a nibble from her fudgsicle) So, why'd you bring me here?

Charon (16 years): I just wanted to hang out with you, Bridgette. Especially since I plan on undergoing my spiritual journey when I turn 18. Once I complete that, I'll be able to become a full fledged priest, and I'll make the Powell family name proud.

Bridgette (8 years): Do you really have to do this? It sounds dangerous.

Charon (16 years): Have no fear, sister. Remember, Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and nights. I intend on doing the same thing. God will see my dedication towards him, and he will recognize me as a devoted Christian, worthy of priesthood.

Bridgette (8 years): But we'll miss you, Charon. I'll miss you. I love you.

Charon (16 years): I love you too, sister. Don't worry, you'll see me again. And when you do, you'll find that our bond will have never changed. But, let's not focus on that right now. My journey is not for another two years. Let's focus on the time we have together while we have it.

Bridgette (8 years): (Smiles) Yeah. Good idea. Thanks for inviting me up here, Charon. You're pretty cool.

Charon (16 years): I try, sister. (Raises his fudgsicle) Here's to family, friends, and religion.

Bridgette (8 years): (Raises her fudgsicle) Here, here!

(The siblings chill out some more and eat their fudgsicles)

 **(End flashback: Back to 2025)**

Clyde: So your brother went on this spiritual journey and never came back.

Bridgette: That's right. We don't know what happened to him. I knew it was dangerous. If I would've known, I would've tried harder to stop him. Maybe he'd be with us right now.

Clyde: (Hugs Bridgette) Don't worry, babe. I'm sure Charon is smiling down at you from heaven if he did kick the bucket. And if by some chance he's still alive, I know you two will meet again and have a joyous reunion.

Bridgette: I hope he's still alive…somewhere.

(We then cut to Sam, who just parked his motorcycle on the curb in front of the Testaburger's house. He grabs his groceries and walks up to the front door and knocks)

Wendy: (From inside) It's open.

(Sam opens the door and finds Wendy laying on the couch, wearing her usual pajamas (the pink pajamas with pictures of sunflowers), and she is covering herself with a purple quilt. Her nose is red from blowing it constantly)

Wendy: Hey, Sam. (Cough)

Sam: Hey, Wendy. How are you doing?

Wendy: Let's see. (Cough) I'm congested, my body is achy, I'm coughing up a storm, my voice is hoarse, my head is pounding, I have a fever of 101.4….and this is still not the worst cold I've had.

(The two teenagers chuckle)

Sam: You mean you've had worse?

Wendy: You should've seen me when I had a fever of 103.2 in 2013 (Cough).

Sam: You think that's bad? I had a fever of 104.6 in the summer of 2014 when I was visiting some relatives in Oklahoma. That was a pretty bad vacation for me.

Wendy: (Chuckles) So, what brings you by?

Sam: I heard that your parents are working late tonight. I figured I'd come and keep you company and take care of you. (He reaches into his grocery bag and takes out a bag of cough drops. He reaches into the bag and gives it to his friend) You'll need some of these. They'll soothe your throat.

Wendy: Hence the name "cough drop." (Cough) Thanks.

Sam: (Grabs a box of tissues from his bag) These tissues are the kind that have lotion on them. They should be easier on your nose. (Grabs some green tea teabags from the bag) Want me to make you some tea?

Wendy: Yes, please.

Sam: (Smiles) Okay. You stay right there and relax. I'll be back soon.

(Sam heads for the kitchen and returns with a hot cup of tea for Wendy)

Sam: Here you are.

Wendy: Thanks. (She blows on the mug and sips from it) I appreciate what you're doing, Sam, but you didn't have to go out of your way to do this, you know.

Sam: Nonsense. You're ill. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't help you out in your time of need?

Wendy: True.

Sam: (Reaches into his bag and takes out tangerine) Have a tangerine. It has vitamin C. It should help. Need any help peeling it?

Wendy: (Coughs and starts peeling the tangerine) No, I'm fine. Thanks though.

Sam: (Smiles) Anytime.

(We then cut to the miniature golf course, where Red and Ursula just finished playing their games, and now they are sitting on a bench eating some ice cream cones)

Ursula: Have to admit, my red rose, you are quite the miniature golfer.

Red: Thanks. I usually like to hang out here to chill out, whether by myself or with friends, and just let off steam. How's your ice cream cone?

Ursula: Not bad. Soft and serve is always good.

Red: Hey, Ursu.

Ursula: Yes?

Red: Just out of curiosity, do you think you can tell me more about Bridgette's brother, Charon?

Ursula: Sure. What do you want to know?

Red: What was he like? Did you two get along?

Ursula: Oh hell yeah. Charon was a cool dude. Whenever Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, or Justin were busy, Charon was always there to hang out with me while everyone else was off doing their own thing. He was like a brother to me…and all of us. I remember one time when I was about 9 years old, and my parents car broke down on their way to pick me up from fencing practice. Charon was right there to pick me up and take me home. He always looked out for us. And then there was one time where I returned the favor to him.

 **(Flashback time: The year was 2016)**

 **(9 year old Ursula's clothes are no different from when she was 10, and 17 year old Charon's clothes are no different from when he was 16)**

(In the flashback, Ursula is walking home from school, and she passes by the town park where she notices Charon surrounded by three bullies, all three wearing jeans and sweatshirts, and all three about Charon's age, 17 at the time)

Bully #1: Well look what we have here. Charon over here thinks he has what it takes to be a priest. Don't make me laugh.

(The bullies laugh at Charon)

Bully #2: You're living in a dream world preacher boy!

Charon (17 years): It's not a dream. I am going to become a world renowned priest, and I'll do this city proud! You'll see, you'll all see!

(The bullies laugh again as the leader punches him in the face. Charon gets back up annoyed)

Charon (17 years): May God have mercy on your soul.

Bully #3: God, Shmod! You're wasting your time believing in such nonsense.

Bully #1: Plus, if this so called god was real, and if he really did love you, why isn't he sending you a miracle to take you away from this situation you're in?

Charon (17 years): Miracles take time, my friend.

Bully #1: We are not your friends, boy! You're nothing but a washed up, kooky, religion nut that's going to end up alone with no friends one day. So give up your priest dreams, preacher boy, and face reality!

(Just as he's ready to punch Charon again, Ursula intervenes)

Ursula (9 years): Leave him alone!

(The three bullies turn around and see Ursula walking up to them)

Ursula (9 years): He didn't do anything to you. Leave him be.

(The bullies laugh)

Bully #3: Is a little girl seriously going to stand up for this nutcase?

Bully #1: It looks like it. Look, squirt, why don't you beat it before you hurt yourself.

Ursula (9 years): Are you going to leave him alone?

Bully #1: Uh, no!

Ursula (9 years): Then I'm not going anywhere.

Bully #2: (Under his breath) Fucking brat.

Bully #1: (Walks up to Ursula) Maybe you're not hearing me clearly. Leave now, or I'm going to have to…

 _ **WHAM!**_

(He is then cut off by Ursula kicking him in the nads. Bully #1 falls on his knees in pain as Bullies #2 and #3 chase her to a nearby tree. Upon arriving to the tree, Ursula picks up a tree branch and uses it as a make shift sword. She whacks Bully #3 in the face with the branch before he could even punch her. Bully #2 tries to take the branch away from Ursula, but she pushes him back, and knocks him on his ass. Ursula then whacks Bully #2 in the head with the branch, causing it to break. The three bullies run away in fear)

Ursula (9 years): (Shouting at the bullies) Yeah you punk asses better run! And I'd better not catch you messing with Charon ever again! (She goes over to Charon to see if he's alright) Are you okay, Charon?

Charon (17 years): Yes, thank you. And thanks for fighting off those thugs.

Ursula (9 years): Hey, one of us had to. It's a good thing I was in the area.

Charon (17 years): And it's a good thing I told you four years ago to always fight and stand up for what is right. And like I said four years back, while I don't support violence entirely, there are some instances like the one that just occurred where violence is justified.

Ursula (9 years): Sometimes we need a little violence to keep the baddies of this world in line. As long as we don't indulge in it regularly as if it's some kind of drug, it's okay.

Charon (17 years): Exactly. I see you took my words to heart.

Ursula (9 years): Hey, they're good words to live by.

Charon (17 years): Indeed they are. Come on, I'll buy you a large cherry slushie at the mini-mart as a special thanks for your help.

Ursula (9 years): Alright! (They head off and continue to talk) Also, Charon, as far as those jerks telling you that you can't become a priest is concerned, you can be whatever you want to be. Don't let anyone tell you different. That's what my parents always tell me.

Charon (17 years): Got it, Ursula. (Chuckles) Never thought I'd be getting life lessons from someone who hasn't even graduated Elementary School yet.

(The two kids laugh as they continue on their merry way)

 **(End flashback: Back to 2025)**

Red: Wow, so you really beat up those three guys?

Ursula: Swear to god.

Red: Damn, you were even awesome back then, sweetie.

Ursula: (Smiles) Thanks.

Red: I can see why Charon is so special to you, Ursu. You think if you ever run in to him again, I can meet him

Ursula: I'd like that. He really is a cool guy. Probably the coolest guy I know (Whispers in her ear) Don't tell our guy friends this.

Red: (Giggles) Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Now let's eat our ice cream before it melts.

Ursula: Sure thing.(Red and Ursula continue to eat their ice cream and hang out)

(We cut back to Sam and Wendy, who are watching movies on Netflix. However, Wendy falls asleep in the middle of one of the movies, and Sam notices)

Sam: (To himself) I should probably let her rest. Now would be a good a time as any to make her some soup.

(He grabs the soup ingredients from the grocery bag and heads into the kitchen. He takes out his phone and looks up a chicken noodle soup recipe, and gets cooking. After a few moments, Wendy awakens to the sounds of Sam cooking. She promptly looks around for her friend)

Wendy: (Cough) Sam, where are you?

Sam: (Comes out of the kitchen with a hot bowl of soup and places it in front of Wendy) Sorry, I was busy making you some chicken noodle soup. I figured if you were sleeping it would be okay if I left you alone for a few moments.

Wendy: You made me soup?

Sam: Yeah. I found a recipe online and made it. It's my first attempt at cooking it so don't expect much. Try it and see what you think.

(Wendy eats some of the soup and enjoys it)

Wendy: Wow, this is pretty good! (Cough) You did a good job.

Sam: You really think so?

Wendy: Honestly, this is amazing. (Eats another spoonful) Are you sure this was your first attempt at cooking this soup.

Sam: Swear to God. You really like it?

Wendy: (Eats another spoonful) My parents raised an honest girl. You did great.

Sam: (Smiles) I'm so glad you enjoy it! Make sure you drink the broth too.

Wendy: With how good this soup tastes, (Cough) you bet your ass that I'm going to drink the broth.

(The two teenagers laugh)

(We cut to Knitts' Bakery around sunset, and Kurt and Annie are taking inventory while there are no customers to take care of. It's at this moment when Bebe enters the bakery)

Bebe: Hey, Kurt, Annie.

Kurt: Oh, Bebe, hello! What brings you here?

Bebe: Just on an errand for my Codykins. (Holds up a slip of paper and gives it to the couple) He wants me to place an order for this cake for some kind of family reunion he's attending sometime next month.

Annie: (Takes the slip of paper and reads it) Okay, Bebe, we'll get right on it.

Bebe: Thanks. Mind if I chill out here for a while.

Kurt: Not at all, have a seat.

(Bebe sits down at a nearby table)

Kurt: So where's Cody?

Bebe: He's trying to look for the fourth advocate with Maria. He's hearing this stuff about these devil worshipers just dropping dead and he thinks one of the remaining five advocates has something to do with this.

Annie: Devil worshipers are dying and he thinks it's the work of an advocate? If anything one of the advocates would be one of the last people I'd suspect. I mean, shouldn't the advocates and devil worshipers be on the same side?

Bebe: That's what I said, but Cody just begs to differ.

Kurt: Cody worries too much about stuff like this. He's going to give himself an ulcer someday.

Annie: Also, if Cody is looking for the advocates, shouldn't you be out helping him?

Bebe: I told him I had to finish a Power Point presentation about the Industrial Revolution for history class so I couldn't join him. It's not easy being a hero and balancing school work.

Kurt: I know.

Annie: (Turns to Kurt) Hey, Kurt.

Kurt: What's up?

Annie: I was thinking about what you said earlier about Bridgette's brother, Charon. You said that he inspired you to become a hero in the first place. Do you think you can tell me the story about how this happened?

Kurt: It seems to be a slow business day around here. Sure I'll tell you, as long as Bebe doesn't mind listening in.

Bebe: It's fine. I can go for a good origin story. Go on, tell us the story.

Kurt: Okay. (Clears his throat) The year was 2012….

 **(Flashback to the year 2012 when Charon was just 12 years old while Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, Ursula, and Justin were just 5 years old)**

 **(13 year old Charon is wearing a long sleeve white shirt with a picture of the Jesus fish known as Ichthys, blue jeans, and black loafers)**

 **(5 year old Sam is wearing a plain long sleeve orange shirt with blue jeans and black shoes)**

 **(5 year old Kurt is wearing a brown t-shirt with black shorts and black shoes)**

 **(5 year old Bridgette is wearing her usual white dress with pink leggings and white shoes)**

 **(5 year old Ursula is wearing her Houston Texans cap and a blue sundress with black leggings and black shoes)**

 **(5 year old Justin is wearing a blue tank top with black baggy jeans and black shoes)**

(Charon is relaxing on the couch in the Powell residence back in Houston when he sees Bridgette and her friends upset)

Charon (13 years): You guys look down. What happened?!

Sam (5 years): It was Billy Walsh.

Charon (13 years): Who's Billy Walsh?

Justin (5 years): He's only the meanest and nastiest kid in school. He pushed me out of the way while I was trying to make moves on Camille Watson, freaking rooster blocker!

Ursula (5 years): He wouldn't let me play on the swings at recess.

Kurt (5 years): He stole my desert at lunchtime.

Sam (5 years): And he hogged all of the crayons in art class.

Charon (13 years): Sounds like you all have a bully on your hands.

Kurt (5 years): That's the general gist, yeah.

Bridgette (5 years): Oh, Charon, what should we do?

Charon (13 years): Well, I normally don't condone violence, as I think we can all solve our problems with peace. But there are some times when violence must be used as a way to keep the evil of the world in check. The important thing is that we don't abuse violence for our own purposes.

Justin (5 years): So you're saying that we should beat Billy Walsh down?

Charon (13 years): If that's what you must do, then do it.

Sam (5 years): Hang on! I don't want our reputations to be ruined. I mean, the five of us have established ourselves as the calm type of people that wouldn't hurt a fly. We'll be ruined if people learn that we beat people up. What do we do about that?

Charon (13 years): I have a few ideas. (Gets up off the couch) Come on, let's go clothes shopping. (The group of six leave)

(We then cut to the next day at Houston Elementary School's playground. Billy Walsh approaches a group of kids that are playing on the swing set)

 **(Billy Walsh is a five year old boy wearing a red polo shirt, beige shorts, and brown shoes)**

Billy: Beat it, twerps! This swing set is mine.

Kid: But, Billy, this playground is for everyone. It's not right.

Billy: Did I ask you for your opinion? No! Now get off my swing set! My playground, my rules!

Sam/Sir Justice (5 years): This playground is for everyone!

(Billy turns around and finds the Houston Five making their debut)

Billy: Who are you supposed to be? The Dumb-vengers? (Laughs as the Houston Five laugh along)

Justin/One Man Chain Gang (5 years): Heh, you're a funny guy (Laughs some more). Okay, enough messing around. Let's get this guy, team!

Billy: Do you all honestly think you can take me? I'm Billy Walsh!

Sam/Sir Justice (5 years): More like Bitchy False!

Billy: (Sarcastic) Great comeback! (Normal tone of voice) So, you all think you can take me on? Come and get it!

(Our heroes take out their toy weapons: Sam had his toy lightsaber and paintball guns, Kurt has paintball guns too, Bridgette has a small trumpet, Justin has a chain made up of paper clips, and Ursula just has two normal handheld fans. A bunch of other kids get ready to spectate the fight)

Billy: Anytime you're ready, lamers.

Ursula/Samurai of Light (5 years): We usually let losers go up to the front of the line.

Billy: Letting me go first eh? Not a smart move on your part. But here I come!

(Billy charges at our five heroes, ready to punch them, but they dodge out of the way. Sam and Kurt get behind him and take out their paintball guns)

Sam/Sir Justice (5 years) & Kurt/Smith the Kid (5 years): Paintball Barrage!

(The two boys fire paintballs at Billy, knocking him to the ground)

Billy: Why you little…

Justin/One Man Chain Gang (5 years): Chain Whipping! (He whips Billy across the face numerous times with his paperclip whip, giving it a few cuts)

Billy: Stop it! Enough!

Justin/One Man Chain Gang (5 years): Bridgette!

Bridgette/Singing Angel (5 years): Right! (Takes out her trumpet) Screeching Trumpet! (She plays it very loud, causing Billy to cover his ears)

Billy: Gah! I can't take this, stop it, now!

(Suddenly, Ursula appears right in front of Billy)

Ursula/Samurai of Light (5 years): Love Smack!

(She smacks Billy across the face with her fans before motioning over to Sam to finish him off)

Sam/Sir Justice (5 years): Time to end this you big bully! Justice Punch!

(As Ursula moves out of the way, Sam hits Billy in the face, knocking him on his ass)

Billy: (Gets up and starts bawling) Uncle! Uncle! I give! Just leave me alone! (Runs away) WAAAAHHHH! Mommy! WAAAAHHHH!

(As soon as Billy leaves the scene, a bunch of kids cheer for our five heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice (5 years): (Bows) Thank you, thank you, it was nothing!

Justin/One Man Chain Gang (5 years): (As a blonde haired kindergartener comes to his arm) Want to share a mat with me later today at naptime, sweetie?

Kindergarten girl: Sure.

(We cut to a smiling Kurt/Smith the Kid waving at the kids giving them praise as the flashback ends)

 **(Back to present day 2025)**

Kurt: We have Charon to thank for molding us into who we are…kind of, Justin did turn to the dark side, but that wasn't entirely Charon's fault.

Annie: I see…

Bebe: What an origin story. (Gets up from her seat) Thanks for having me. I'd better finish up my history project. Bye everyone.

Annie: See you, Bebe, the cake should be ready in a few days. We'll call you when it's ready for you to come and pick it up.

Bebe: Thanks, Annie. Goodbye, you two.

(Bebe leaves as Kurt and Annie wave goodbye to her)

(We cut to Cody and Maria as they search for the next advocate. It has become nightfall, and they are growing tired and weary)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Cody, we've been looking around South Park for the next advocate all afternoon. I'm tired and hungry. Can we call it a night?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Gets discouraged) Very well. I'm starting to get weary myself. Let's call it a night and continue the search tomorrow after school.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Good plan. Can you escort me home?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Of course. I wouldn't be a proper gentleman if I didn't escort a lady home. Just don't get any ideas. My heart belongs only to Bebe, and I intend on being a very loyal lover to her.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Relax, I wasn't thinking like that.

(They start to head off for home)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I just hope that there are no more deaths tonight.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Well, if it's devil worshipers that are getting killed, maybe it's a good thing. I mean, if it is an advocate doing this, he/she is doing us a favor.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: True, but don't forget that if an advocate is doing this killing, he/she is in it for the blood.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Good point.

(It's at that moment, they see a man wearing a brown hooded cloak cross the street in front of him)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Speaking of devil worshipers.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Come on, let's follow him!

(The two teenagers follow behind the man, but made sure to follow him stealthily as to not arouse suspicion. They eventually follow him to the abandoned church from earlier in the episode. The man goes inside, and Cody and Maria try and take a peek at what's going on through the crack of the door. They see the brown cloaked man approach the dark pope that is Charon)

Brown Cloak Man #2: I came to see you as you have requested, Charon.

Charon: I'm so glad that you came, my friend. (Takes out a syringe) Please have a seat and we shall begin the blood transfer.

Brown Cloak Man #2: Of course. (He sits down) I can't wait to be a part of Satan's son.

Charon: Please, my friend, let me concentrate. (Clears his throat) May the unholy lord in the fires of hell bless this syringe! For it will be your blood's vessel into the body of a much better being! I have spoken!

(He stabs the brown cloak man through the chest and drains his blood as Cody and Maria watch on in horror. When it's all over, Charon removes the syringe from the brown cloaked man and walks into the back room with the blood filled syringe, laughing all the while)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: No freaking way!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I think we've found our fourth advocate, Maria. Let's call some of our friends and tell them to meet here later tonight.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Good plan. (They two teenagers leave the area so they can call in some back up)

(Meanwhile, at the Testaburger residence, Sam continues to take care of Wendy as he is seen in the bathroom, trying to get a hot bubble bath set up for Wendy to clear her head and heal her aches)

Sam: Okay, Wendy, your bath is ready! (Wendy comes upstairs with a clean pair of pajamas and sees the bath) Why don't you test the water out and see what the temperature is like.

(Wendy puts her hand in the bathtub and gives a thumbs up to Sam)

Wendy: Perfect. (She starts to undress out of her old pajamas, but Sam stops her before she's able to remove any clothing)

Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Uh, I'm still in here. Don't you want to do that in private?

Wendy: (Chuckles) What's the matter, Sam? Never seen a naked girl before?

Sam: (Blushes in embarrassment) No, it's just that staring at you while you are in your…(Clears throat) Birthday gear would be rude.

Wendy: (Cough) If you're really that uncomfortable, you can turn around. I'll let you know when I'm in the tub.

Sam: Got it.

(Sam turns around, allowing Wendy to undress and rest herself in the tub. She sighed in contentment as her body touched the warm water, feeling as though her aches just melted away)

Wendy: Okay, Sam, you can turn around now.

Sam: (Turns around) So, how is it.

Wendy: It's great! (Sinks into the water a bit) Thank you so much for all that you've done today, Sam. You really didn't have to do any of this.

Sam: I know I didn't have to…I wanted to. You're my best friend here, Wendy. You're the person that I've known the longest since my arrival to South Park. We've been through so much together. Fighting NAMBLA…

Wendy: And going on Death T.V…

Sam: Fighting a demon clown…

Wendy: Going toe to toe with the son of the devil himself…

Sam: And trying to take down Paris Hilton and her whore trend. Speaking of which, seeing you take that blow to the face from Justin…that kind of hurt me a bit too. Just seeing you fall to the ground made me wish that I was there to stop him before he hurt you.

Wendy: At least you saved my friends that day. Their innocence was more important to protect that I was at that moment in time.

Sam: Yeah. Speaking of that day, how is that scar on your face since then?

Wendy: It's doing fine. (Points at the area where Justin had hit her) If you look really closely in proper lighting, you can just barely see where Justin hit me.

Sam: (He sees the marking) Yeah I see it. Thanks goodness we don't have to worry about Justin anymore.

Wendy: Yeah.

(The two teenagers stare at each other not sure what to do next. They both want to tell each other how they feel about one another, but they don't know how to go about it. There is a long silence, and Wendy is the first one to break it)

Wendy: Sam, do you remember the day we met?

Sam: Of course I do. I don't know how I can forget. Especially since you were the first person in town to show me any kindness.

 **(Flashback to the beginning of the series in the year 2017)**

(Sam is at his first day in South Park Elementary. He is in science class and the teacher wants the students to find a partner for the next assignment. Sam is too nervous to go talk to anybody. It's at that moment when Wendy goes up to him)

Wendy (10 years): Hey.

Sam (10 years): (Turns to face her) Uh…hi.

Wendy (10 years): You must be new here. I'm Wendy.

Sam (10 years): My name is Samuel…but my friends in Houston usually call me Sam or Sammy.

Wendy (10 years): I see. Hey, listen, do you want to be my partner? The person that's usually my partner is out sick today.

Sam (10 years): Sure, you can be my partner.

(The two kids begin their work as we cut to later in the day as Wendy is walking home from school. Suddenly, a bunch of clouds start to roll in and it starts to rain)

Wendy (10 years): (Looking up at the sky) Damn it, the forecast didn't call for rain! (She runs underneath a tree to try and find shelter when Sam is seen walking by with an umbrella covering him)

Sam (10 years): (Turns to face Wendy) Hey, you're that girl from science class. What's your name again…Wanda? Wally? Wendy! Yeah, that's it!

Wendy (10 years): Hey, Sam, what's up?

Sam (10 years): Forgot your umbrella?

Wendy (10 years): To be fair, the forecast didn't call for rain today.

Sam (10 years): That's weather for you: Totally unpredictable. Weathermen are the only people who can get their predictions wrong every time but still have a job.

(The two kids chuckle)

Sam (10 years): You want me to walk you home so you don't get wet?

Wendy (10 years): Sure, thank you, Sam.

Sam (10 years): My pleasure…Wendy, right?

Wendy (10 years): Exactly.

(Wendy joins Sam as they walk off)

 **(End flashback)**

Sam: You could've easily picked somebody else to be your partner that day, but instead you chose me.

Wendy: And you could've chosen to ignore me and walk on, but you insisted on walking me home that rainy day.

Sam: I was just returning the favor. Like I said, you were the first person to show me kindness here, so of course I had to return the favor somehow.

Wendy: Yeah. (The two teenagers smile at each other for a moment when Wendy breaks the silence again) I think I should head to bed now.

Sam: Good idea. When you're sick, you should get plenty of rest. I'll turn around again so that you can get changed into your pajamas.

(Sam turns around as Wendy gets out of the tub and changed into a clean pair of pajamas. From there, they walk to Wendy's room, where she gets in bed and covers herself with the blankets. Sam enters the room and grabs the cough medicine. He fills a small cup with it and gives it to Wendy)

Sam: This is the drowsy kind of cough medicine. It should help you sleep.

Wendy: (Drinks up all of her medicine and gives him back the cup) Once again, Sam, thank you for all that you've done. You really are a true friend.

Sam: (Smiles) I'm glad you think so. Well, I'm going to head downstairs until your father gets home. (He gets ready leave, but Wendy stops him)

Wendy: Sam, hang on, before you go there's something I'd like to say (Sam turns around to face her) Sam….Sam I love you, okay! We've been together for so long, and we've seen so many things together that I just…I don't know.

Sam: You…you love me.

Wendy: Yes. If you don't want to talk to me anymore I understand.

Sam: Oh, Wendy (Hugs her) Why would I never want to talk to you anymore? You're my best friend, and I won't let something like this stop our friendship…especially since I feel the same way about you.

Wendy: Really?

Sam: Yes. We've gotten really close over the past few years and I have been playing around with the concept of us dating for a while now.

Wendy: You have?

Sam: Yes. I know it sounds weird and oddly convenient, but it's true. Trust me.

Wendy: I believe you, Sam.

Sam: Thanks. So, I guess we're a legitimate couple now?

Wendy: You bet we are.

Sam: Awesome. (He hugs her again) So, you just lay there and rest and have pleasant dreams about us.

Wendy: (Smiles) Okay. And Sam, when I feel better, I want to give you the best make out session ever. You know, in celebration of us being a couple.

Sam: Great idea. (Gives her a thumbs up) Well, I'm going downstairs. Sweet dreams, sweetie.

Wendy: Thanks Sam. (Yawns and closes her eyes as she drifts off to sleep)

(Sam heads downstairs and sees Mr. Doug Testaburger enter the house)

Sam: Oh, Mr. Testaburger.

Doug: Sam? What are you doing here?

Sam: I decided to take care of Wendy since she was sick.

Doug: (Notices the bag of groceries and sees a pot of soup in the kitchen) I see. You made her soup and everything. I'd say you did a good job.

Sam: Thanks. And don't worry, I didn't do anything to your daughter. She's just sleeping upstairs. Come on, I'll show you.

(Doug and Sam head back up to Wendy's room and they see a sleeping Wendy. They hear her as she is gently snoring. After that, the two guys head back to the living room)

Doug: I'm impressed. You did a great job. You must really care about my daughter.

Sam: I do, sir. In fact, she was so moved by my actions that…and promise me you won't get mad, she and I are dating.

Doug: That's great! (He high fives Sam) I'm kind of glad that this happened. When our daughter broke up with Stan and then Token, we thought she gave up on love. But then you came along and for a while, we thought you and Wendy were going to get together. At first I wasn't the happiest about it, you know considering the fact that you left my house through the bathroom window and you lied about buying my daughter a thong. But as time passed on, you kind of grew on me, and the next thing you know, I'm looking at you as if you're my second child. And now that you're telling me that you and my Wendy are dating…I can't help but feel overjoyed.

Sam: I'm happy you feel this way, sir. And you know, what you said about me being a second child to you…well, you're kind of like a second father to me.

Doug: Am I?

Sam: Yeah. See, the reason my parents moved up here to South Park was because of a job offer. If they moved up here, they'd get a better minimum wage, and they accepted it. After that, my parents seemed to care more about the money they make as opposed to me. They said that they love me, but sometimes I wondered about that. That's why I usually hang out around here, so that I'm surrounded by people that I at least consider family. So it's nice to know that you were always here, Mr. Testaburger, sir. A father figure I could look up to.

Doug: That means a lot, Sam. I'm happy you feel that way.

Sam: And I'm not lying either. I'm telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. (The two men hug) I have some soup left over in the kitchen if you want me to make you a bowl.

Doug: That'd be great, Sam.

(Sam and Doug head for the kitchen to get some soup when Sam gets a call on his cell phone)

Sam: (Answers the call) Hello…..Cody? What's up?...You and Maria found the fourth advocate's hideout….Alright! Head for the abandoned church on Hillcrest Avenue! I'm on my way! (Hangs up)

Doug: What is it, Sam?

Sam: That was Cody. He and Maria found the location of the next advocate. I'm going to head there right now if you want to come with?

Doug: Count me in. My wife should be home in a few minutes anyway. I just have to leave a note. (He starts to write a note on a sticky pad) So, how are we getting there?

Sam: Allow me to answer that question with another question: Have you ever been on a motorcycle?

Doug: (Stares at him with skepticism) Why are you asking that?

(Cut to Doug and Sam, now dressed as Cerulean Viper and Sir Justice, speeding down the streets of South Park on Sam's motorcycle, with Sam at the wheel and Doug enjoying the ride)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Woo-hoo! This is awesome! Yeah! Faster, faster! Woo-hoo!

(As Doug and Sam speed down the streets of South Park, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin, who is just out on a nighttime walk, sees this and stares after him)

Kelly: That's Sam's bike! And he was dressed in his Sir Justice costume! He must be off to fight some more baddies! I must follow after him and assist him in battle somehow! Then he'll love me for sure!

(She follows after Sam and his motorcycle as the first part of this episode comes to a close)

 **(Author's note: Sorry for the lack of action in this part. I was thinking about cramming it all into one part, but then I realized that that'll give you all too much to read, so I decided to make this episode a two-parter. I want to try and do this whenever possible now so tell me what you think. Anyway, the next episode is when our heroes face off against Charon. How will Bridgette, Kurt, Sam, and Ursula react when they learn that they're facing Charon? Will Kelly do the team more harm than good in this fight? Only time will tell. Stay tuned because part 2 of "O, Brother, Where Art Thou is coming soon…..whenever the hell school and work decides to let up.")**

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(No credits because, again, I'm reserving that for either episodes that aren't split into parts or the final part of an episode)**


	12. O, Brother, Where Art Thou (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 11: O, Brother, Where Art Thou (Part 2)

 **(I am so sorry for not getting this chapter out sooner. But between college, work, and laziness, I couldn't get this chapter out as soon as I had hoped. But now guess what: School is out for the summer, I finally beat Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild (Awesome game BTW) so now chapters will hopefully, the key word being hopefully, be release on a more steady basis. Anyway, enjoy part two of "O, Brother, Where Art Thou")**

(This episode starts off where the last one left off: At the abandoned church at nighttime where Charon is hiding out. He is staring into a mirror. Inside that mirror is Satan himself)

Satan: Beware Charon, the ones known as the South Park Saints are heading your way. They've already disposed of Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton, and Dimitri Molarski. I don't want you to meet the same fate that they have.

Charon: Have no fear, my lord. I am nothing like those jokers. I can handle whatever these saints throw at me. By the end of the night, they'll all be crucified upside down in the name of Young Master Damien. I'll even harvest their blood when I'm done.

Satan: Excellent. Do not let me down, Charon.

Charon: Oh please, I have no intention of doing so.

(The image of Satan fades away from the mirror as Charon turns away from it and faces the front door of the church)

Charon: (Raises his arms) Come at me, Saints! Show me the power that you used against the three advocates that fell before me! I await your arrival.

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (8 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, and Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, and Charon). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(After the intro, we cut to Cody and Maria waiting for some of their friends to show up as they are standing a few blocks away from the abandoned church)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Where are they? We called them not too long ago.

(Heidi/Fatal Feline is the first to arrive. She runs up to the two teenagers with her Cheetah Speed)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Stops running and gets back on her two feet) I came as soon as I heard, meow, meow! Fatal Feline re-purr-ting for duty!

(Next to arrive is Kurt/Smith the Kid and Annie/Darling Dame. They flew to the location on the wings of Annie's wing pack, with Annie holding Kurt)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (As the couple float down to the ground) Alright, let's go kill us an advocate! I'm ready!

(Next to arrive is Butters/Professor Chaos, who flies onto the scene with his anti-gravity boots)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Does some flips in the air with his boots and flies around) Woo-hoo! Oh hamburgers, these boots are so much fun to use!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Butters, get down here and shut up! We're trying not to arouse suspicion in case the advocate shows up!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Groans) Fine, Cody, I'll come down…buzz kill! (Floats back to the ground)

(Next to arrive is Leon/Beo-Wolf, Stan/ToolShed, Kenny/Mysterion, Red/Madame Knight, and Ursula/Samurai of Light. The five get out of Leon's car as soon as he parallel parked it next to the curb)

Red/Madame Knight: Evening everybody. So are we killing us an advocate tonight or what?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: That's why we called you all here.

Kenny/Mysterion: (Clenches his fists as he is ready to fight) Okay now! I'm ready to kick some ass and take some names!

(Next to arrive is Mephesto, Kevin, Millie, and Mephesto's new "fuck you to God": Which appears to have the head and feet of a chicken and the body, wings, and tail feathers of a bald eagle)

Mephesto: (To his new creature) Everyone this is the Cheagle.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Another genetic experiment that's going to help us?

Mephesto: Precisely.

Millie: To be fair, I've seen worse.

Kevin: (Takes out a DNA vaccine) Alright, let's do this! (He injects it and his arms become bear arms again)

(Next to arrive is Clyde/Mosquito, Bridgette/Singing Angel, and Craig/DJ C-Rage, who hop out of a taxi)

Annie/Darling Dame: You guys seriously took a taxi here?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Yeah, why not?

Annie/Darling Dame: Taxi cabs aren't usually the first thing I think of when I hear the term, "superhero vehicle." I usually think more along the lines off….(Last to arrive is Sam/Sir Justice and Doug/Cerulean Viper on the motorcycle. Annie then points at the motorcycle to make a point to Craig)…that.

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry we're late. I just had other business to attend to.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Did you take care of Wendy, meow?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes I did. And guess what, we're a thing now!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Alright, Sammy!

Stan/Tool Shed: Congratulations, dude. I knew you had it in you.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Now maybe you two can double date with me and Bebe.

Sam/Sir Justice: Not a bad idea.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Excuse me, are we here to congratulate Sam on making headway in his love life, or are we here to fry us an advocate.

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry, Maria. So, who is the advocate this time?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: It's some kind of dark priest. His name escapes me at the moment. Was it Carl? Charles? Carlton? Oh wait, I remember now! His name was Charon!

(Bridgette, Sam, Ursula, and Kurt's faces drop)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Guys, do you think that's our Charon?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I hope not. I don't even think I can handle the thought of fighting one of my closest allies since I was a kid.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well…we fought against Justin, and he was a friend of ours since the beginning. So if we could fight him, fighting Charon should be a breeze. You know, if this is the Charon we're thinking of.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Good point. I'm all in.

(Bridgette seems unsure about the whole thing)

Clyde/Mosquito: Bridge…are you okay?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yeah…I'm fine. (In her mind) Oh lord, my God, please don't let me have to fight my brother: One of the people I've known since birth.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Okay, everyone, follow me.

(The Saints follow Maria up to the abandoned church. They arrive at the front door)

Red/Madame Knight: So, should we go through the front door? Or is there some kind of side door we can go in, you know for a sneak attack?

Mephesto: I don't think so. This church has been around since I was a kid. I would attend mass here every Sunday with my family. Every door leads to the same place: The altar. There's only one back room and it's windowless and door less. The old priest told us not to question why the back room was like that whenever he invited boys like me there to have a private lesson about God.

(Everyone's faces drop as they start to think of the implications of what Mephesto is saying)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Out of curiosity did this priest touch you anywhere?

Mephesto: Only in my heart. He had such a way with words.

Annie/Darling Dame: I am so scared and confused right now.

Stan/Tool Shed: Let's all just put Mephesto's…really messed up childhood behind us and head inside.

Sam/Sir Justice: Good idea. Stay alert everyone, I have a hunch that this advocate is expecting us.

(With that, the 20 Saints enter the abandoned church, weapons at the ready in case they have to react fast. They look around and find that the place I empty)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: There doesn't appear to be anyone here. And it doesn't look like anyone was here for years.

Sam/Sir Justice: Look around for clues, everyone. I'm sure we'll find something if we look hard enough.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I might be able to find Charon's location if anyone has a picture of him.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I have a wallet sized photo of him when he was eight years old. I don't know if that'll help since that was just 18 years ago.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I'll try anything.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Gives Maria the picture) Here you go. (Maria begins to examine it)

(As this is going on, Kevin goes up to the door that leads to the back room. He tries opening it, but it's locked)

Kevin: Alright then. Bear Claws!

(Using his bear claws, he busts the door down and is shocked at what he sees in the room)

Kevin: Guys, you might want to have a look at this.

(The likes of Sam, Doug, Annie, Clyde, Leon, and Heidi look into the room with him and are shocked at what they see….a small piles of corpses of the devil worshipers that Charon has killed. There's a little over 10 corpses)

Clyde/Mosquito: Oh my God!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Did this Charon guy really kill this many people?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: It looks like it.

(Meanwhile, Craig goes up to the closet door and it too is locked. With that, he takes his boom box and it transforms into armored fists)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Boom Bop!

(He punches the door down and finds a duffle bag. He opens it and it's full of Charon's blood samples. Millie goes up to him)

Millie: What did you find?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: I think I found Charon's blood stash! (He shows it to her)

Millie: Yikes! This Charon guy really got busy!

(With Maria, she's trying to find Charon based on Bridgette's picture, but she can't find him)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I can't find him. I guess my sight powers only works with more modernized pictures. So unless you have a photo of present day Charon, I won't know where he is.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I'm sorry, Maria. That's all I have.

Sam/Sir Justice: Everyone! Regroup over here!

(The saints regroup at the main altar)

Sam/Sir Justice: So we found the dead bodies. What else did you guys find?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: I found Charon's blood stash.

Sam/Sir Justice: So this is definitely his hideout. But that just leaves one question: Where is Charon?

(Suddenly, a black colored portal opens up where the entrance to the church is. Charon emerges from the portal and finds the South Park Saints)

Sam/Sir Justice: Charon!

Charon: Well look who it is. Sir Justice himself: Samuel Cooper! And of course you brought along your little friends that include Smith the Kid, Samurai of Light, and my little sister, Singing Angel.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Charon…

Charon: Nice to see you again, Bridgette. It's been eight long years since we last talked and I missed you.

Red/Madame Knight: (Turns to Ursula) Ursu, is this the Charon guy that you've been telling me about?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Yes, Red. But something is wrong. He's not the same lovable guy I used to know.

Sam/Sir Justice: Charon! What happened to you?!

Charon: Isn't it obvious, Sammy? I found a new path to follow! A wonderful path paved only by the likes of Satan himself.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Satan!? Oh hamburgers!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Charon, why? Why did you go down this dark path?

Charon: Please, allow me to explain.

 **(Flashback to the year 2017)**

(In the first shot, 18 year old Charon is going from house to house trying to spread the word of Jesus…only for him to get the door slammed in his face)

Charon (v.o): Whilst on my journey to priesthood, I would go from house to house in each town I visited and tried to get more people to believe…only for those rapscallions to slam the door in my face. It was heartbreaking.

(The next shot shows Charon trying to traverse through a desert. He is very tired and weary)

Charon (v.o): Eventually, my fruitless journey lead me to a desert. I was out of supplies and out of energy. I knew that my end was near, so I found a small cave where I could die in peace.

(Charon enters the cave and lies down on the floor)

Charon (v.o): I awaited Death's cold grasp as I prayed for a miracle from God…but got nothing each time I prayed.

(Satan then comes out of nowhere wanting to see Charon. He's holding the staff that Charon is currently using)

Charon (v.o): Eventually, out of a fiery portal, a big man with red skin, horns, and yellow eyes emerged, saying that he was Satan. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or if he was lying through his teeth, but he said that he loved my dedication to Jesus and God, and he'd love to have me on his side to spread the great word of the devil. At first I declined, but then he offered me another chance at life, nourishment, and great power in the form of this staff you see before you. It was all tempting, but I gave in to temptation in the end.

(The next shot is Charon spreading Satan's word in another town, and some of the people are actually interested)

Charon (v.o): I only did it so I could get nourishment and another shot at life, but as I went from town to town to spread Satan's word, I got more listeners that I did when I talked about God. It was then I realized that more people worship the devil than Jesus or God.

(The next shot shows Satan putting the black ropes and pope hat on Charon)

Charon (v.o): Before I knew it, I was an advocate, and one of Satan's closest allies.

(The next shot is Charon in the woods near Houston grabbing random people in brown cloaks and draining their blood)

Charon (v.o): When Damien got imprisoned by you guys, I went back to Houston to find some blood. I found some devil worshipers and told them that they'd be a part of Satan's son if I drained their blood. They seemed enthusiastic to do it, and accepted the offer. I got bottles of blood filled day after day, and productivity was booming. Until one night: The night when I was run out of town.

(The next shot is the police arriving to Charon's location and Charon fighting and killing some officers. Any officers that he did kill, Charon's hands would glow red and the blood that was drawn comes to him and goes in a pouch that's on his back. When Charon becomes severely outnumbered, he disappears through a dark portal that leads to Houston's outskirts)

Charon (v.o): The police came to my hideout in the woods, and they tried to take me down. Luckily with the power that Satan gave me, I was able to take some of them out before they even laid a finger on me. I even harvested some of their blood. Eventually, those officers called in some reinforcements. So much that I knew I couldn't handle them all. I had no choice but to retreat, where I decided to continue my quest here in South Park: The town where so many kooky things happen that something like this might go unnoticed…even if a group of do-gooders like you are running around.

 **(End flashback)**

Charon: And that brings us to today.

Kenny/Mysterion: So you're telling us that you were an upstanding person who believed in God, but then you threw it all away to be chums with Satan himself and do his bidding!?

Charon: Exactly.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: You are mentally weak, Charon! You gave in to the devil, and for what? So you can live on another few years. If God wanted you to die in a desert, so be it!

Charon: There is one aspect about God that I still believe in: He gave us the will to survive. And at that moment in time, I was willing to do anything to survive, even if it meant working with the enemy….at least I viewed Satan as the enemy back then. Now, he and I are practically brothers.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: The old Charon wouldn't do this! The old Charon always knew what was right and what was wrong! And I know that somewhere in that black heart of yours is our Charon!

Charon: Oh, Ursula, the old Charon is dead! He died a long time ago when he learned that the God he was praying for all this time was a fake! There is only one true god: Satan.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Charon…

Charon: Why do you all waste your time praying and believing in a false god it does you no good. Tell you what, since I knew some of you since you were little kids, I'd like to offer you all a chance on joining me and Satan in our conquest of reviving Damien so we can create a new world, a paradise, a total utopia.

Stan/Tool Shed: Gee, what a great offer.

Charon: (Ecstatic) Really?!

Stan/Tool Shed: NO! As if we'd ever work with the likes of you! We don't care how you're associated with Sam and his friends. We are going to stop you, even if it means killing you!

Butters/Professor Chaos: That's right!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: As much as I hate to say it, they're right. We're going to take you down before you do further harm.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (To herself) Charon, my brother…what's happened to you?

Charon: So I guess you all want to have a little bout. Fine then, if you want to stop me, be my guest. But let's not fight here. Let's go someplace where there's a bit more room to fight.

(By waving his staff, another portal appears behind our heroes and Charon walks past them to get to it)

Charon: If you all want to fight so badly, then follow me. (Walks through the portal)

Sam/Sir Justice: Quick, everyone, after him!

(Our heroes follow Charon through the portal just as Kelly Rutherford-Menskin enters the abandoned church. She sees our heroes run through the portal)

Kelly: Sam, wait! (She runs up to the portal and jumps through it just as it closes)

(We then cut to a random desert where our heroes emerge from the portal Charon created)

Clyde/Mosquito: Hey, where the hell are we?

Millie: It looks like some kind of desert.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Takes some of the sand and licks it) I'd say we're somewhere in Arizona.

Annie/Darling Dame: Whoa, you can tell just by licking the sand?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: No, there's a sign right there. (Points at a sign that reads, "Arizona: The Apache State")

Mephesto: Uh, Cody, if you knew just by reading that sign then why the hell did you lick the sand?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: How often do you get to lick sand from another state?

Red/Madame Knight: You're probably going to want to mouthwash hardcore before you even think about kissing Bebe again.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Good idea.

Kenny/Mysterion: (Looks up at the full moon in the sky) Why would Charon want to bring us to a desert?

Sam/Sir Justice: Your guess is as good as mine, Kenny.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Speaking of Charon, where is he?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I'll try and locate him using my powers now that I know his face. (She tries to look for him as everyone gets ready to fight)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, Charon, let's get this over with!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Oh, Charon, be a good boy and we might go easy on you, meow!

Stan/Tool Shed: (In his mind) Heidi's so cute when she acts like a cat.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Gasps as she senses something)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: What's wrong, Maria?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I sense something coming right towards us! It's an attack! Hit the deck!

(Everyone runs and ducks down as a random purple fireball hits the ground, missing our heroes. The attack was fired by Charon)

Charon: (Cackles evilly as he floats down to ground level) Nice dodging skills for a bunch of puny little worms.

(Meanwhile, Kelly finally appears out of one of Charon's portals. She hides behind a rock as she sees Charon about to fight our heroes)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: What the hell, Charon? You would never attack anyone! This isn't the guy we used to know.

Charon: I already told you, Kurt, the old Charon is dead. The new Charon is a man of action, a man who only answers to the call of his true god, Master Satan.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Excuse us, Charon, but why did you bring us here?

Charon: Take a good look around. This is the desert where Satan saved me. This is going to be our battlefield tonight, and this is also going to be the place where you all meet a bloody end.

(Everyone pulls out their weapons)

Kenny/Mysterion: I think that'll be enough out of you!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: That's right! I think it's time we do to you what this desert should've done to you years ago, and end you!

Charon: You all really think you can take me on?

Clyde/Mosquito: We know we can! (Turns to Bridgette) Babe, you ready?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I…I can't. He may be evil and working with Satan, but he's still my brother. I can't bring myself to harm him.

Red/Madame Knight: But Bridgette, this is just like fighting Justin: Somebody that was once an ally of yours that turned evil.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: This is different. Charon is family while Justin is just a friend and a mere associate. Would you all hurt your family?

Butters/Professor Chaos: I didn't have any problems hurting my grandmother when she became young again. It was hard, but worth it.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: But Charon never abused me like your grandmother did to you. He always treated me like gold. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to sit this one out.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: But Bridgette…

Clyde/Mosquito: Leave her alone, guys. If she doesn't want to fight, I won't make her.

Sam/Sir Justice: He's right. While I'm not exactly the happiest about fighting the man who was basically an older brother to me, Kurt, and Ursula, I know it has to be done. So let's take him down, guys!

All except Bridgette: Yeah!

Charon: Heh, good luck kids. But let me just warn you now. Even though I'm a peaceful and compassionate man who only swore to kill Satan's followers by telling them that they'll be a part of Damien, I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. (His staff starts to glow as he starts to float in the air again) So who thinks they have the gumption to take me down?!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Obviously all of us! So bring it on you corrupt priest!

Charon: Oh I shall.

 **(Cue Philistine from No More Heroes 2…Charon's version)**

Clyde/Mosquito: Bridgette, hide somewhere so you don't get hurt.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Okay…but be gentle with him.

Kenny/Mysterion: You might want to look away from this fight then.

(Bridgette leaves to hide behind some cacti)

Sam/Sir Justice: Wings of Heidi! (His wing pack opens) Clyde, Craig, Annie, Maria, Butters, and weird chicken/eagle hybrid, you guys are with me!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Let's do this!

(Annie opens her wing pack, Clyde's activates his wings, Craig's boombox morphs into a jetpack, Butters turns his gravity boots on, the Cheagle flaps its wings, and Maria uses her powers to float as well. The 7 fighters fly up to face Charon and they take out their weapons)

 **(Reaper, reaper, that's what people call me. Why 'cause they all die. When I fight I end their lives. You act as though heroics make you all noblemen. Is that a fact? Well you're all goddamn philistines!)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go! Bebe's Bullets! (Fires his guns)

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Mob: Bug Bullets! (Fires the mosquito shaped bullets)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Has his boombox morph into arm cannons momentarily) Decibel Destroyer! (Fires the blast of energy and his boombox morphs back into a jetback)

Annie/Darling Dame: Sunshine Lazer! (Fires the orange beam of energy)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Bomb! (Fires a ball of pink energy at Charon)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (A spear made of electricity materializes form his hands) Lightning Spear! (Tosses it)

Mephesto: Cheagle, use Egg Blaster! (The Cheagle launches a bunch of eggs from its hole)

(All seven attacks hit Charon, creating a wall of smoke. However, Charon emerges out of the ball of smoke and he takes out his staff)

 **(Reaper, reaper, that's what people call me. Why 'cause they all die. When I fight I end their lives. You act as though heroics make you all noblemen. Is that a fact? Well you're all goddamn philistines!)**

Charon: You're all grounded, Black Thunder!

(By waving his staff around, a bunch of storm clouds appear, and purple lightning bolts come down on our seven fighters. They all try and dodge while getting close enough to Charon, but all except the Cheagle and Sir Justice get hit. They manage to get close and Sir Justice attempts to hit Charon with his lightsaber)

Sam/Sir Justice: Red's Blade!

(He swings his lightsaber, but Charon uses his staff to block the attack, and push Sam down to the ground. The Cheagle is now alone and looks afraid)

Charon: I'm going to make KFC out of you. Devil's Inferno!

(A purple fireball hits the Cheagle, cooking and killing it, and upsetting Mephesto)

Mephesto: (Annoyed) Oh give me a break!

 **(Instrumental)**

(Leon, Kevin, and Heidi run up to Charon)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Wolf Clone! (About 9 other Leon's appear. Leon, his clones, Kevin, and Heidi then leap up at Charon) Wolf Claws!

Kevin: Bear Claws!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Kitty's Claws!

(The all promptly slash at Charon multiple times. Each time they hit the ground after a successful attack, they'd jump back up and slash him again. Charon is getting pissed)

Charon: Shadow Shockwave!

(His hands get a red aura, creating a shockwave that stuns Leon, his clones, Heidi, and Kevin. It's at this time, he gives them all a good whack with his staff, sending them all falling towards the ground)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Looks at this) Heidi! (Looks up at Charon) Why you! Drill Launcher! (Fires a drill bit which gets Charon in the thigh. He then takes out a big wrench) Wrench-a-rang! (Throws the wrench like a boomerang, but Charon blocks the attack with his staff, and sends the wrench flying back at Stan, who ducks out of the way)

Kenny/Mysterion: (Takes out a random ray gun) Alright, Sophocles, let's see what this new toy you made me can do. Kurt, Millie?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I'm with you.

Millie: Yup.

 **(Requiem eternal! Bullets right through the sternum! Lullaby to hell, babe. Reaper's got your name!)**

Kenny/Mysterion: Conundrum Shooter! (Fires a green beam from the ray gun)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Radiant Revolvers! (Fires rounds from his revolvers)

Millie: Flare of Justice! (Fires a flare from her flare gun)

(The three attacks look like they're about to hit when…)

Charon: (Waves his hands) Shadow Portal!

(Two portals appear, and the attacks go in one and out the other, sending them back at Kenny, Millie, and Kurt. The blast sends them flying back a bit)

 **(The name Charon's Greek, you geek, it means 'brightness.' I'm a smart boy! Girls cannot nibble on my meat, so go on! Whip around that sword like you're the best, it's such a bore! Some more dumb heroes? Bitch please!)**

(Red manages to get behind Charon while Ursula gets behind him. They are ready to attack)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Petal Blizzard!

(As razor sharp flower petals pour from her sleeves, Charon dodges by moving slightly to the left)

Red/Madame Knight: Crossbows of Honor!

(Red fires regular arrows right at Charon's face, but then….)

Charon: Devil's Inferno!

(Charon fires his fireballs at the arrows, and they burn up before they even reach him, causing Red to gasp)

Charon: Such a weak attack.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Jumps from atop a rock formation) Let's see if you think this is a weak attack!

Charon: What's this?

 **(The name Charon's Greek, you geek, it means 'brightness.' I'm a smart boy! Girls cannot nibble on my meat, so go on! Whip around that sword like you're the best, it's such a bore! Some more dumb heroes? Bitch please! (Instrumental))**

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Staff of Nobility! (Whacks Charon in the head, sending him falling to the ground. Cody lands on his feet) Hurry, Mr. Testaburger! He's all yours!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Got it! (Comes running up to him, his boxing glove glowing a light blue) Freezing Fist!

(As Charon gets up on his feet, Doug hits him in the chest with his freezing fist attack and sends him back a bit. Charon gets back up though)

Charon: How unfair! Hitting me just as I'm getting back up! You fight dirty!

(The other saints regroup with Doug)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I would've thought villains like you love fighting dirty!

Charon: Whatever. Just don't get cocky just because you managed to hit me once or twice. I know you've probably heard this before, but it'll take a lot more than a few punches, whacks, and slashes if you want to kill me.

 **(Requiem eternal. Reaper has come, sinner!)**

Sam/Sir Justice: He's right! We all have to unify and attack together. I seriously doubt he can handle the heat from all of our attacks. (Kevin injects himself with more DNA and becomes part bird again) So come on, everyone, let's let loose! Give it all you've got!

Saints: Yeah!

 **(Papal ferula is my absolute territory! Go on and drool, the whores and bastards can't resist! You think the fire in your eyes make you all tigers in disguise? Bring it on you goddamn pussies!)**

Annie/Darling Dame: Here I come, Butterfly's Maelstrom! (Fires rainbow beams from her wingpack's wings)

Kevin: Feather Barrage! (Flings a bunch of feathers from his wings)

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Mob: Lazer League! (His white mosquito robots fire lasers from their stingers)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception! (Fires the icy blast from his gloves)

Kenny/Mysterion: Conundrum Shooter! (Fires the energy blast)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires his Gatling gun)

Red/Madame Knight: Arrows of Light! (Fires light arrows)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Petal Blizzard! (Razor sharp petals fly from her sleeves)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity from his finger tips)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Claw Launcher! (The claws of his pelt fly at Charon like they were small missiles. New ones appear once they launch)

Millie: Static Shocker! (Fires an electric blast from her stun gun)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hammer Cannon! (Fires an energy shot from the face of his hammer)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Decibel Destroyer! (Fires energy shots from his arm cannons)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Arrows! (Fires arrows made of psychic energy)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Epic Yarn! (Throws a yarn ball with a stick of dynamite in it)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax! (Fires a pink blast of energy from his staff)

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast! (Fires a falcon shaped blast from his guns)

 **(Reaper, reaper, that's what people call me. Why 'cause they all die. When I fight I end their lives. You act as though heroics make you all noblemen. Is that a fact? Well you're all goddamn philistines!)**

(The 17 attacks look ready to hit Charon when…)

Charon: Chaos Barrier! (A barrier composed of purple energy covers Charon. The attacks hit the barrier, and they push Charon right into a rock formation, causing an avalanche of rocks to fall on him)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Well that should've done something.

(Suddenly, the rock pile began to move and Charon emerges from it unscathed)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Impossible!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: All of our attacks hit at full blast. But there's hardly even a scratch on him!

Charon: (Laughs evilly) I won't lie, you all gave it a good effort, but I emerged victorious in the end just like I knew I would.

 **(Philistine fades out)**

(Bridgette is watching all of this from behind the cactus)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Charon…please don't do this.

(Kelly is still watching the confrontation from behind the rock)

Kelly: Sammy…I have to do something or he'll be killed for sure.

(Back with the fight at hand)

Charon: (Raises his papal ferula staff) I suppose we should end this off! (A scythe composed of red energy appears from the top of his staff) Since you've all been such worthy adversaries I've saved my most painful attack for last! I hope you all enjoy!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his lightsaber and moves to the front of the party) Get behind my, guys!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Are you seriously thinking about parrying that scythe?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yup.

Charon: Heh, good luck Sammy boy! But by doing this, please know that you'll be the first of your friends to die.

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't care! I want to protect my friends to the very end!

Charon: Your loyalty to your friends will be your downfall. (He charges, ready to swing his scythe) Reaper's Scythe!

Kelly: NO!

Sam/Sir Justice: Kelly?!

(Kelly jumps in front of Charon's path, pushes Sam out of the way, and tries to avoid Charon's attack…but Charon is too fast and while Kelly did manage to get Sam to safety, his scythe ends up grazing her side, causing her to fall to the ground)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Son of a bitch!

Red/Madame Knight: Holy shit!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh hamburgers!

Sam/Sir Justice: Kelly! (He kneels down and cradles her in his arms) Kelly, what were you thinking?

Kelly: I followed you so I could try and help you fight this guy off.

Sam/Sir Justice: Why did you do that? You know it's too dangerous.

Kelly: I did it because I love you.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: We already told you, Kelly. Sammy has a thing for Wendy, meow!

Sam/Sir Justice: Save it, Heidi, she's in enough pain as it is. I don't want to add heartbreak to this.

Mephesto: Yeah, Heidi, that is kind of in bad taste.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Your opinion.

Charon: Uh, hello, I'm still here! I won't go away just because some girl took my scythe to the waist. (He then looks to find his sister hiding behind the cactus and he turns back to our heroes) I'll deal with you lot in a moment. (His staff turns into a scythe again) I want to have a little reunion with my sister. (He then charges for Bridgette and her hiding place)

Clyde/Mosquito: Bridgette, no! (Flies after him)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Clyde, stop! It's too dangerous!

(Clyde manages fly so fast that he passes Charon, and jumps in front of Bridgette. When Charon swings his scythe, Clyde blocks it with his stinger and pushes him back, knocking Charon to the ground)

Charon: (Gets his scythe ready) Time for a little pest control!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Clyde, you saved me! Thank you.

Clyde/Mosquito: I'm glad to be of help, sweetie, but listen up. (He and Charon clash scythe and stinger again and they try and push each other back) We need your help.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: What do you want me to do?

Clyde/Mosquito: Well, Charon is your brother. Maybe you can calm him down somehow.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: How?

Clyde/Mosquito: I don't know. Only you can answer that.

(The other saints overhear this)

Sam/Sir Justice: The only way I know we can take him down for sure is if we fight him.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: But he's my brother. I don't want to hurt him.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Bridgette, think back. Didn't you tell us that your brother said something to you in case something like this happened to him?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yeah, before he left for his journey he said something to me.

Clyde/Mosquito: (Still in a struggle with Charon) Then think back to that moment. Think back to when you talked with Charon.

(Bridgette then gets a flashback)

 **(Flashback time…again. This time we're in the year 2017)**

(Bridgette just got back from visiting South Park during the Prologue Arc. She's walking alone, having said goodbye to Kurt and Ursula, and on the way, she sees Charon with his backpack walking in her direction)

Bridgette (10 years): Charon, brother! (She runs up to him)

Charon (18 years): Bridgette! (Runs up to her and hugs her) I'm glad you made it home in time to see me off, sister.

Bridgette (10 years): You mean you're leaving on your journey now?

Charon (18 years): Yes, sister, I'm afraid so.

Bridgette (10 years): (Hugs him tighter) But I'll miss you, brother. At least let me tell you what I did while I was visiting Sam.

Charon (18 years): I heard. You guys took down the son of the devil himself. It's all over the news. I'm very proud of you, Bridgette, my sister.

Bridgette (10 years): Thank you, Charon.

Charon (18 years): (Releases the hug) Now, listen, you know how in church the priest would always talk about how evil can corrupt anyone, including good people like us?

Bridgette (10 years): Yes.

Charon (18 years): Well, no doubt that Satan is mad, and he'll probably try and corrupt someone close to you or your friends. I worry that he might try and corrupt someone like me. In the event that does happen, I ask for you and your friends to not hesitate in putting me down.

Bridgette (10 years): I don't want to do that! You'll be fine.

Charon (18 years): Anything is possible, sister. He tried to tempt Jesus when he was in the desert for 40 days. However, I am not Jesus, and I worry that I might give in to temptation if Satan were to try and tempt me. So please, promise me that if I turn evil you'll put an end to me before I hurt anyone.

Bridgette (10 years): (Thinks for a moment) Okay…I promise.

(Charon and Bridgette hug again)

 **(Flashback end, back to present day)**

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I made a promise to him, and I'm going to keep it.

(Charon pushes Clyde/Mosquito back with his scythe, knocking him on his ass)

Charon: This looks like the end, you little locust. (Raises his scythe) Say farewell!

(Clyde braces himself for pain, but then…)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Trumpet of the Gods!

(A green energy blast hits Charon and sends him flying away from Clyde)

Charon: What in the name of Sam Hill? (He looks to see Bridgette ready to fight Charon) Well look who finally decided to join the fray.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Charon…that promise I made to you eight years ago. Do you remember it?

Charon: Of course I do. If I turned evil, I'd want you to strike me down. But it turns out the dark side isn't too bad. So how about we break that promise, sister?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Never! I know that somewhere in that black heart of yours, you're still the brother that I know and love! I'll do whatever I have to do in order to make sure that you don't succeed in your goals…even if it means killing you.

Charon: Oh well, suit yourself. (Gets his scythe ready) It just means that you'll be the first to die.

 **(Cue Weak Executioner from Blazblue series)**

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Takes out her cymbals) I'm ready!

Charon: Then let's stop wasting time! Reaper's Scythe!

(He comes charging at Bridgette, but whenever he swings his scythe, Bridgette uses her cymbals as shields, blocking each slash. She eventually pushes Charon back a few feet with her cymbals)

Charon: My, what strength you have, sister. You're certainly not the little girl that I left back in Houston anymore. But that also means I'm not the same feeble teenager either.

 **(It has lost the shape of a man. Pitiful existence! So where does it wander without purpose? Naked, primal instincts keeps eating the other's life. While trampling fragments of the pride it once had)**

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Readies her fist with her rings pointed at Charon) There's more strength where that came from. Fifty Carat Punch!

(Bridgette comes at Charon, and hits him in the chest with her left fist, but when she tries to him him with her right fist…)

Charon: (Hands glow a red aura) Shadow Shockwave!

(Releasing the shockwave caused Bridgette to get stunned, allowing Charon to whack Bridgette with his papal ferula, now not in scythe mode. Bridgette falls to the ground)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Gets back up) Nice move, brother. But I have better ones! (Drumsticks appear from her sleeves and they begin to spark) Sparking Drum Roll!

(By touching the drumsticks together, a beam of electricity fires from them and they hit and electrocute Charon)

 **(Lonely, lonely. I've been looking for your lonely soul. Holy, holy. I want to see you in a holy death! The circulation of your cruel fate, This is the time I will come to sever it!)**

Charon: Guess I'm not the only one who likes to play with lightning. (Waves his staff) Black Thunder!

(Black and purple lightning bolts attempt to hit Bridgette, but she manages to dodge them all and get close to Charon)

Charon: Chaos Barrier! (Cover himself in the barrier)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Trumpet of the Gods! (Fires a green energy blast, and it's so strong that it breaks Charon's Chaos Barrier and sends Charon flying back)

 **(The Chaser, the Runaway! They are forming compositions of a feeling! No one is able to express it in a single phrase! You, going away! The more it approaches, touching one another! The more something breaks with silent crying! (Instrumental))**

Charon: Enough! Devil's Inferno! (Fires the purple fireball)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Angel's Screech! (Grabs her microphone and screeches loud into it, causing the fireball to burn out and get destroyed)

Charon: My, what a wonderful set of lungs you have, Bridgette. I just wonder how you'll use them when you scream in agony!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Ignores that comment and takes out her drumsticks) Sparking Drum Roll! (Fires an electrical blast)

Charon: Shadow Portal!

(He creates two portals, and the attack goes in one and out the other and hits Bridgette, electrocuting her. She screams in pain and is brought down to her knees)

Charon: Your screams of agony are just as beautiful as your battle cry! So tell me, sister, are you getting tired? Would you like to give up?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Gets up) I'm not done yet! I won't rest until we've defeated you, Charon!

Charon: Oh, Bridgette, you're just as stubborn as mother. (His papal ferula enters scythe mode again) It's that stubbornness that'll kill you in the end!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Takes out a violin bow from her pocket and it starts glowing) Well, if I go down, I'm taking you with me.

Charon: Reaper's Scythe! (Charges at Bridgette)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Bountiful Bow! (Charges at Charon)

(The two siblings clash bow and scythe numerous times)

 **(God, I ask you: Which is man, which is phantom? There's no justice, there's no glory in such a fight. God, tell me now: Who is mad, who is conscious now? Everything falls in the blue dark! (Instrumental))**

(The other members of the South Park Saints, plus Kelly, look on as Bridgette and Charon continue their struggle)

Kelly: (Holding her wound) Ugh! Hurts!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Still holding her) Hang in there, Kelly! Everything is going to be okay.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: So you guys think Bridgette can hold her own against Charon?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: She's doing a good job right now, isn't she?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Plus she has us ready to back her up in case she needs us.

Clyde/Mosquito: Come on Bridgette. I love you! Pull through, babe! I know you can do it!

(Bridgette and Charon clash bow and scythe again, and the push each other back)

 **(She's caught in an ominous past weakest existence. The flame of impatience burns in her mind. Firmly stepping through the wilderness, she's becoming exhausted. She strains her voice calling out at the target ahead)**

Charon: I'm surprised you've lasted this long, Bridgette.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Same to you, brother. Especially since you just got done fighting my comrades.

Charon: I think it's time we finish this once and for all! (He closes his eyes his papal ferula starts to glow)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I'm ready! Oh lord, my God, please let this attack be a successful one!

(She closes her eyes and holds up her hands as the rings on her fingers start to glow)

 **(Lonely, lonely, I've been looking for your lonely soul. Holy, holy, I want to see you in a holy life. When the invisible prayer calls, the miracle, the end will come at last!)**

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Farewell, brother!

Charon: Goodbye, Bridgette!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Holy Burst! (10 beams of light come from the rings on her fingers)

Charon: Demonic Destroyer! (Fires a red blast of energy from his papal ferula)

 **(The Chaser, The Runaway! They are forming compositions of a feeling! Fist, only the fist will solve it in the loop of calamity! You, going away! The more it approaches, touching one another. The more something breaks with silent crying….crying!)**

(The two beams collide and Bridgette and Charon enter a struggle with each other again. Both of their wills are being tested. But Bridgette's will is stronger as her attack blows through Charon's attack and hits him)

Charon: WHAT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 **(The song ends)**

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Alright, she did it!

Mephesto: Let's go check it out.

(The saints, with Sam carrying Kelly, heads over to Bridgette, who is walking over to Charon. Charon is just laying on his back panting)

Charon: Heh, good battle Bridgette. It's hard to believe that you actually got me. I'm proud of you. (Passes out from exhaustion)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Brother…

(The other saints arrive)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Whoa, is he dead?

Mephesto: (Kneels down and feels a pulse) No, he's only knocked out. He should be fine.

Kelly: (Moans in pain again from her wound) It hurts!

Sam/Sir Justice: We've got to take Kelly to a hospital. Charon got her good.

Red/Madame Knight: Dude, we're in the middle of the desert. It doesn't look like there's a hospital for miles.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hang on, let me try something. Lay Kelly down on the ground, please. (Sam does as he's told) Kelly, show me the wound.

(Kelly moves her hand to show the gash Charon left in her waist. Maria places her hand over the wound, and her hand starts to glow pink. When she removes it the gash is gone)

Butter/Professor Chaos: Holy moly!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: That was amazing! What was that?!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psychic's Antidote. It heals almost any wound. I can heal you guys right now if you want.

(Maria quickly heal everyone else from any wounds they've obtained from the fight with Charon)

Annie/Darling Dame: Ah, good as new!

Kenny/Mysterion: Maria, I think we're starting to like you.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I'm glad you're all taking a liking to me.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: There's just one problem remaining. How are we going to get home? We're in the middle of Arizona and we're hundreds of miles from home.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Picks up Charon's papal ferula) Well, Charon got us here by using this staff. Maybe we can get home by using it?

Kevin: (His DNA vaccine is wearing off as he reverts back to his human state) Try it. Anything is worth a shot.

(Maria waves the staff around and creates a portal. Our heroes, with the unconscious Charon in tow, enter the portal and emerge back in the abandoned church in South Park. Our heroes cheer upon being back where they started)

Stan/Tool Shed: And we are home!

Millie: Home…ain't that a wonderful word?

Sam/Sir Justice: Definitely. Okay, so here's the plan. I think one of us should call the police and tell them to come here and pick Charon up.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Takes out his cell phone and dials the police) Already on it!

Sam/Sir Justice: Great! So…I guess I'll see you all in school tomorrow.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Sounds fair.

Sam/Sir Justice: Cool. Alright, good job everyone, that's half of the advocates down, save trip home, and take it easy.

(Everyone leaves, but Clyde and Bridgette stay. Bridgette is very quiet after the events that transpired)

Clyde/Mosquito: Hey, babe, I just want to tell you that you did excellent out there today. You rocked that.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: That's honey.

Clyde/Mosquito: I know it wasn't easy fighting your own brother. Which is why I'm here in case you need a shoulder to…

(Clyde gets cut off by Bridgette, who leaps into his arms and cries into his shoulder)

Clyde/Mosquito: It's okay, sweetie. You're alright.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I just can't believe my own brother would turn against us like this. Do you think he'll go back to the way he was before all of this occurred?

Clyde/Mosquito: Only time will tell, sweetie. (The police officers soon arrive) Anyway, the police are here. Damn they sure come quick.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Wipes tears from her eyes) I'll say.

Clyde/Mosquito: What do you say we go out for some ice cream to cheer you up, babe?

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Smiles) Sounds good.

Clyde/Moquito: Alright, then let's go!

(Hand in hand, Bridgette and Clyde walk out of the abandoned church as the police enter it to arrest Charon)

(Meanwhile, in some island somewhere, there is a mansion. Inside the mansion, a man wearing a black suit enters a room that has mahogany walls, red carpeting, mahogany bookshelves, a mahogany desk with trinkets on it, a big red chair behind the aforementioned desk, and some wooden tables. This room is pretty much your generic study. There appears to be a figure sitting in the chair behind the desk)

Black Suit Man: (Carrying a letter) Excuse me, Madame Marlowe. This letter came for you.

(He gives the letter to the woman, who is silhouetted. The woman known as Madame Marlowe opens the letter and it reads, "Colorado Teacher's Ball: Thursday May 1st at Colorado Convention Center in Denver")

Marlowe: Oh a teacher's ball.

Black Suit Man: From what you told me, I think you said that you taught high school in Fort Collins, right?

Marlowe: Yes. I taught English and Literature there for many years. And believe me, my minion, I look forward to returning there. (She grins at the note as the episode ends)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Bridgette returns home and hugs her parents as she tells them about Charon and his whereabouts)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: Maria arrives back at her and Apollo's apartment. Apollo looks at how happy Maria is, and thinks about what Mr. Brewster told him. Could he be thinking about biting the bullet and joining our heroes?)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: We cut to the high security prison where Charon interrupts the likes of Trent, Justin, Max, Ethel, Tobias, and Paris, who are playing cards. Justin and Charon greet each other and hug, happy to see each other again. Justin and Charon go off somewhere to catch up while the other five villains continue their game. We also catch a glimpse of Dimitri, who is still in the freezer)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Wendy is feeling much better and she and Sam are on their first date. They are eating some Italian food and having a great time. However, Kelly is staring at them through the window with much envy)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: At the local tuxedo shop, Doug, Jeffrey, and Alex Slave are trying to find some tuxedos to wear to the Colorado Teacher's Ball)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: At Marlowe's mansion, she is having a rally with her minions, all of which are men wearing suits. They clearly have something big planned)

 **(Samayoinagara** **  
** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: Bridgette is looking through a photo album that has pictures of Bridgette and Charon when they were kids. She smiles before putting it back on the bookshelf she got it from)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: Cody, Bebe, Wendy, and Sam are having the double date they talked about. The four teens are at Cody's mansion watching a movie and eating some Chinese food)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #9: Just some shots of the Colorado Convention Center getting decorated for the Teacher's Ball all ending with a shot of the banner being lowered down in the front of the building)


	13. Teacher's Pet (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 12: Teacher's Pet (Part 1)

(The evening of May 1st has occurred! Time for the Teacher's Ball at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver. We see a whole bunch of teachers and principals from all of the schools all over the state of Colorado united in one room. There is a huge banner in the front of the building that reads, "WELCOME ALL TEACHERS AND PRINCIPALS!" Inside the building, there are green and blue balloons and lights, a big buffet table, a wooden dance floor, and many colorful lights. The main room is crowed. Eventually a man that's wearing a white suit, most likely the one responsible for the whole event, grabs a microphone and says….)

Man: Welcome one and all to the 50th Annual Colorado Teacher's Ball!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (8 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, and Charon). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We kick this episode off with Doug Testaburger, Jeffrey Stevens, and Alex Slave entering the main party area of the convention center with their spouses, Deborah Testaburger, Helen Stevens, and Big Gay Al)

 **(Doug is wearing a white tuxedo with a red bow tie and black loafers)**

 **(Deborah is wearing a blue dress with blue heels)**

 **(Jeffrey is wearing a grey tuxedo with a blue bow tie and black loafers)**

 **(Helen is wearing a pink dress with white heels)**

 **(Both Alex Slave and Big Gay Al are wearing black tuxedoes with a black bow ties and black loafers)**

(The six adults find a table and sit there, with the guys obviously letting the girls, and Big Gay Al, sit first by pulling the chair out for them. They take a good look around)

Jeffrey: Wow, what a turn out.

Alex Slave: Yeah, there has to be more people here this year than last year.

Deborah : (Appears to be worried)

Doug: Honey, what's wrong?

Deborah : I'm just worried about Wendy. I mean, not that I don't trust her, but it's not every day we give Wendy the house to herself.

Jeffrey: I know how you feel, Deborah . I worry about Bebe whenever we give leave her home alone. I've seen those teenage movies. They invite their friends and some boys over for a party and then disaster strikes.

Helen: Oh, Jeffrey, you're overreacting. I trust Bebe completely. And if they invite their boyfriends over, more power to them.

Alex Slave: Yeah, I trust Sam and Cody completely. They're good boys.

Deborah : I know. I'm just worried. You know, mother's instinct.

Big Gay Al: Jeff, Deborah , you two need to relax. Didn't you give Wendy and Bebe your cell phone number.

Jeffrey: Of course.

Big Gay Al: Then they know what to do if they find themselves in trouble.

Jeffrey: I guess you're right. (Stretches his muscles) I should try and enjoy myself tonight. It'll be hard, but I'll try.

(Suddenly, Jeffrey sees the cooks bringing out big baskets of shrimp and place them on the buffet table)

Jeffrey: J-J-Jumbo Shrimp! I'm off the wagon! (Storms the buffet table)

Helen: (Chases after him) Jeff! Jeffrey! Calm down!

Alex Slave: (Turns to Big Gay Al) Want to dance, sweetie?

Big Gay Al: You bet your sweet ass I do!

(The homosexual couple leave the table and hit the dance floor leaving Deborah and Doug alone)

Deborah : I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick.

Doug: Okay, babe.

(Deborah leaves and Doug is alone. He picks up his water glass and mixes it around, watching the ice float in his glass. It's at this moment a woman in her late 50s early 60s approaches him…it's the same lady from the end of last episode, Ms. Penelope Marlowe!)

 **(Marlowe has brown eyes and short blonde hair (most likely dyed). She's also wearing a silver dress with silver heels and she's carrying a silver parasol that's currently closed)**

Marlowe: Well hello there Douglas. It's a surprise to see you here.

(Doug turns around to see Ms. Marlowe)

Doug: Well I'll be. Ms. Penelope Marlowe as I live and breathe!

Marlowe: It's been too long, Douglas.

Doug: Yeah, Fort Collins High School Class of 1997. (Shakes her hand)

Marlowe: So what have you been up to?

Doug: Nothing too big. I just became a gym teacher at South Park High School sometime in the mid-2000s, got married and had a daughter, and became a member of the South Park Saints.

Marlowe: I've heard about the South Park Saints. From what I've heard you've all put a lot of crooks away. So you're a member?

Doug: Yes. I'm Cerulean Viper. Don't believe me, take a look. (He takes out a wallet sized headshot photo of himself as the Cerulean Viper)

Marlowe: Wow, very nice. You say you've been up to nothing big, but I'd like to say otherwise. You were always such a good student, Douglas. Always keeping to yourself, never bothering anybody. I'd say you deserve a life like this.

Doug: Thank you, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Please, call me Penelope. Listen, I know this is sudden, but I'll be in the area for a few days. Is it okay with you if I come over to your house for dinner tomorrow night?

Doug: You want to come over for dinner?

Deborah : (Comes back) I'm back. (Sees Marlowe) Oh hello. Who are you?

Marlowe: I am Ms. Penelope Marlowe. I was Douglas' old literature teacher back in the day.

Deborah : Please to meet you. My name is Deborah Testaburger.

Marlowe: Oh, this must be your wife. I was just asking your husband if I could come over for dinner tomorrow, you know to catch up with him and get to know you and your daughter.

Deborah : That sounds like a lovely idea. I'm making spaghetti and meatballs tomorrow.

Marlowe: Sounds delicious. What time should I be there?

Doug: How does 6:00 P.M sound?

Marlowe: Sounds good. I'll see you two then. (She leaves, but as she's walking, she's saying this to herself…) Perfect. If Douglas is a member of these Saints that have been giving Master Satan trouble, maybe I can use him to my advantage. (Laughs evily)

(We cut to the next night at the Testaburger Residence. Deborah and Wendy are cooking the food, while Doug is cleaning the _entire_ house. Even rooms that Ms. Marlowe probably won't be going in he cleans up. Doug enters the kitchen sweating and wearing an apron, yellow gloves, and a red bandana on his head)

Doug: (Panting) How's dinner coming.

Deborah : It's coming honey. Uh, have you been cleaning the entire house?

Doug: Yes I have. Living room, dining room, bathroom, all of the rooms are dusted and deep cleaned (Yawn).

Wendy: Dad, you look tired.

Doug: Yeah. I woke up super early and mowed the lawn. I took the day off of school today so I could prepare.

Deborah : But you're going to be too tired for when Ms. Marlowe comes. Why don't you lie down on the couch and rest for a while. Wendy and I will take care of everything else.

Wendy: Yeah, go on and rest. You seem tense.

Doug: I'm sorry, it's just that Ms. Marlowe was one of my favorite teachers in high school and I want to impress her and show her that we live in a nice clean and happy home.

Deborah : Well I think you've done enough. Just please get some rest before she comes, and we'll finish dinner up.

Doug: Okay.

(He goes over to the couch, lets out a relaxed sigh, and closes his eyes. Just when he hears a knock on the door, he jolts off of the couch and runs to the door)

Doug: Hello, Ms. Marlowe, welcome to our happy home.

Sam: (Carrying a tray) Who's Ms. Marlowe? It's me, Sam.

Doug: Oh, hey Sam. What's up?

Sam: Wendy told me you were expecting company, so I figured I'd cook some cheesy garlic bread. I cooked it from a recipe I got online. May I come in?

Doug: Sure. (He lets Sam into the house) You can just place it on the table.

Sam: Okay. (He goes over to the dining room table where Deborah is placing plates full of food and Wendy is placing silverware and napkins) But seriously, who is this Ms. Marlowe?

Doug: She's just an old teacher from my days at Fort Collins High. I'm surprised that she still teaches. She was about 32 years old when I went there so she must be about 60 now.

Sam: She must be a pretty good teacher if they haven't told her to retire.

Doug: And that's why I took the day off of work today: So that I could make sure the house is in top condition for her visit. (A knock on the door is heard) Oh boy that's her now! (Turns to Sam) Sam, you can stay over for dinner if you want and meet Ms. Marlowe.

Sam: Awesome sauce!

(Doug begins to hyperventilate)

Deborah : Sweetie, calm down. Just keep calm and kindly greet her at the door.

Doug: Oh boy, I hope my embarrassing quirk doesn't kick in.

Sam: What's that?

Doug: Whenever I get nervous, I can't control the volume of my own voice. (Takes a deep breath) Okay, here we go.

(Doug opens the door and finds Ms. Marlowe there)

Marlowe: Ah, hello, Douglas. How are you this evening.

Doug: (Loudly) FINE! (Shrill and quiet) Please come in…

(Marlowe enters the house, places her heels and parasol near the door, and walks over to the table as Doug takes off his apron, yellow gloves, and bandana)

Doug: (Hurries over to Marlowe's chair and pulls it out for her) Here you go, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Thank you, Douglas.

(Doug then pulls the chairs out for his wife, daughter, and Sam. The former two accept it graciously, but Sam…)

Sam: Thanks, Mr. Testaburger, but I'm fine. I can sit in my own chair.

Doug: (Breaks out in a nervous sweat as he sits in his own chair) Right. Sorry, my mistake.

Marlowe: So, Douglas. Who is this boy you have here? I didn't know you had a son too.

Sam: Oh no, ma'am, I'm not his son. Granted, I do view Mr. Testaburger as a well respected father figure, we're not blood related. Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. The name is Samuel Cooper. The leader of the South Park Saints, and the ever so handsome boyfriend of the lovely Wendy Testaburger.

Wendy: (Blushes) Aww, Sammy.

Doug: They just got together recently.

Marlowe: Well congratulations to the both of you.

Sam: Thanks.

Marlowe: So you're a member of the South Park Saints too, eh?

Sam: That's right. I'm the commander in chief of the team, Sir Justice!

Wendy: And I'm the Fuchsia Tigress. Sam, my father, and I are just a very small portion of the members of the team.

Marlowe: There's more, eh?

Sam: Oh yeah. My old friends from Houston, her girl friends, and so much more.

Marlowe: Interesting. But I want to focus on you three. Tell me, Samuel, what's your roll for the team.

Sam: Well, I'm the leader. I'm a good gunslinger, blade wielder, speedster, brawler, just a jack of all trades kind of character.

Marlowe: I see. How about you, Wendy?

Wendy: I'm a brawler and the pyrokinetic of the team.

Marlowe: Interesting. What about you, Douglas?

Doug: I too am a brawler, and the main cryokinetic of our team.

Marlowe: Cryokinesis, eh? What exactly can you do with your cryokinetic abilities?

Doug: You know, throw out some cold punches, launch blasts of cold air, the usual stuff.

Marlowe: This is all interesting.

Wendy: Want to learn more about mine and Sam's skills?

Marlowe: No, I think I'm fine. (In her mind) While someone like these Samuel and Wendy folks would be fine, I think I could seriously benefit from Douglas' ice abilities. I just need to get Douglas alone somehow. (Out loud) You know what, this is going so well, Douglas, I think we should set up another rendezvous tomorrow before I head back to my summer home in Grand Isle.

Deborah : Grand Isle? Where's that?

Marlowe: It's a decently sized island in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of New Orleans.

Wendy: You're going to your summer home down south? If you're a teacher, there's another month of school left. Shouldn't you finish up here before heading back down there?

Marlowe: The principal of Fort Collins High thought it would be a good idea to have my summer vacation start early. You know, I'm getting so old, and these brittle bones can only take so much writing on a blackboard.

Wendy: Well that's understandable.

Marlowe: Anyway, Douglas, how about you and I meet up at the local coffee shop and we can continue having a little chat.

Doug: Sounds good. My birthday is also tomorrow if you want to come over for that too.

Marlowe: You don't mind?

Doug: Of course not. You're one of the best teachers I've ever had. Besides, it'll give you a chance to meet the rest of the team.

Marlowe: How lovely!

(Doug, Ms. Marlowe, and Deborah continue to eat, but Sam and Wendy are unsure about all of this)

Sam: Hey, Wen-Wen. Do you think there's something odd about all of this?

Wendy: What do you mean?

Sam: She seems mainly interested in your father. She's more interested in his abilities, more interested in hanging out with him. I just find the whole thing…odd.

Wendy: Don't forget that my father was a student of Ms. Marlowe's. She probably just wants to catch up with him, and she probably wants to see him alone so she doesn't have you, me, and mom as a distraction.

Sam: I just don't know. Something doesn't feel quite right.

(We cut to the next morning at Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse where Doug and Ms. Marlowe are sipping on coffee and nibbling on some muffins)

Marlowe: So you really went toe to toe with Paris Hilton?

Doug: That's right. She wanted to kill us on her t.v show "Death T.V," after Sam, Wendy, and their friends ruined her plot to start her own empire of promiscuity. That's not all, I also fought against some priest named Charon, the kid that tried to harm Wendy's friends, Justin, and then there was the time I battled it out with the son of the devil himself, Damien.

Marlowe: (Amazed) You fought against the son of the devil himself!

Doug: Yeah.

Marlowe: Fascinating! (To herself) So Douglas played a part in Damien's imprisonment, and the defeat of Charon, the advocate that fell before me. I must have him on my side. I just need to wait for the right moment.

Doug: I'm going to go send a text to my wife and let her know that we're on her way back home for the party. You don't want anything else, Ms. Marlowe?

Marlowe: No thank you, Douglas, I'm fine.

Doug: Okay. (He leaves to text his wife)

Marlowe: Excellent. (She reaches for her silver colored purse and takes out a black pill) My mood manipulation pill. Being allied with Satan give me perks like access to unnatural ingredients that I can use for my own ends. The ingredients in this pill should fog Douglas' mind with rage and insanity, and then he'll be under my control.

(She drops the pill in Douglas coffee and mixes it around so it can dissolve. It's at this moment when Doug comes back)

Doug: Almost ready, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Yes, Douglas. But, would you like to finish your coffee.

Doug: True, I did pay an arm and a leg for this. (He grabs his coffee and drinks it down) Well, that was delicious. So, shall we be off? (Suddenly, he feels a bit woozy) Oh.

Marlowe: Is something the matter, Douglas?

Doug: I don't know. I just feel all light headed all of the sudden. What's happening?

Marlowe: (Rubs Doug's back as he covers his face) Just relax, Douglas. Don't fight it. Let my pill work its course. I am your master now and you will help me achieve my goals, won't you?

Doug: (Remove's his hands from his face to reveal lifeless eyes) Yes, my master.

(We then cut back to the Testaburger Residence where all of the South Park Saints, plus Deborah , Helen, Kelly Rutherford, and Big Gay Al, are gathered in the backyard, ready to barbecue)

Kurt: (While cooking some shrimp kabobs on the grill) Nothing like some shrimps on the Barbie to make your stomach growl! (He grabs some hot dogs from the grill and places them on the plate) Who wants some dogs! Form a line!

(Some of the party goers form a line, Red and Ursula are in the middle of the line making out)

Craig: Hey, what's the hold up?

Cartman: Yeah, let's keep the line moving, lovebirds.

(Red and Ursula, still making out, walk out of line)

Tweek: There's something about lesbian relationships that are so cute and adorable.

Kenny: Probably because girl on girl is hot.

Bridgette: I think it's because two people of the same sex aren't afraid to express their love. I know as a Christian I'm supposed to be against this, but I believe that God, our father, would want us, his children, to be happy. That's all any father could want: For their child to be happy. And I'd say Red and Ursula are happy to be together.

Tweek: Deep. Very deep.

(We cut to Heidi who is looking at Cody and Bebe, who are just holding each other and staring into each others' eyes. She then finds Sam and Wendy just holding each other in a nearby hammock)

Heidi: (Sigh) I need love too. (She finds Butters just sitting by himself and singing)

Butters: Lu, lu, lu! I've got some apples! Lu, lu, lu! You've got some too!

(As Butters sings on Heidi sits next to him. She slowly reaches an arm around Butters)

Butters: (Notices what's happening) Lu, lu, l-uh, what are you doing, Heidi?

Heidi: (Has her arm return to her person) Huh? What are you talking about? You're crazy. I wasn't doing anything. You must be seeing things.

(Meanwhile, the brainwashed Doug returns home and hears the party going on outside. He just ignores it and walks up to his room, grabs his blue gi and gloves, and leaves the house again. He steps into Marlowe's car, and the duo drive off)

(Back at the party, Kelly is glaring at Wendy and Sam with envy. Maria and Annie are with her)

Kelly: I can't believe this! Sammy is actually with that…that…wretch!

Annie: Come on, Kelly, Wendy isn't that bad of a person.

Kelly: Easy for you to say. You've been friends with her longer than I have!

Maria: I think the only reason you're mad at Wendy is because she's dating Sam.

Kelly: Well thanks for pointing that out, Little Miss Obvious.

(As all of this is going on, Apollo is looking in on the party from over the fence behind Wendy's house)

Apollo: (Sigh) Guess it's time I bite the bullet. (He clears his throat) Excuse me.

(Maria looks over at Apollo)

Maria: Apollo, come on over!

(Apollo hops over the fence, but falls flat on his face, causing Cartman to chuckle. Kyle elbows him as a result)

Maria: (Helps Apollo up) What brings you by? Wait! Are you missing me? Do you want to hang out with me?

Apollo: Look, I know I said you're dead to me if you join these guys, but Mr. Brewster says that I should start hanging out with people like you if I want to be accepted. I see the amount of fun you're having and I wanted to know if I could hang out with you all.

Maria: Are you serious?!

Apollo: Yes. But just to be clear, I'm not happy about it, and I still think happiness is weakness. I'm only doing this so that the bullying and jeering from my peers will stop.

Maria: I don't care as long as you're getting out of your shell. You'll see, this is more fun than…what you have been doing.

Annie: Why don't you help us out with something. You can either help me and Kurt get Doug's birthday cake for him, or you can help Sam, Craig, and Tweek set up that stereo system over there.

Apollo: I think I'll take the latter option. Sam is the leader of your group after all. I think it would be fair to chat with him.

(Apollo goes over to see Sam, Craig, and Tweek as they set up a stereo system)

Apollo: Hello, everyone.

Sam: Oh hey! You're Maria's brother, Apollo, right?

Apollo: You're correct.

Sam: Well I'm Sam, and these two here are Craig and Tweek.

Apollo: I know who you three are. And I know who just about everyone at this party is. After all, you guys are the South Park Saints.

Craig: Damn straight. So, what are you doing here?

Apollo: My therapist said that it would be best if I hang around you guys, seeing that I have nobody to hang around with. I'm only doing this so the teasing from our peers will cease. I'm not doing this because I want to. Anyway, need any help?

Sam: Just with hooking up some wires. Can you hook that blue one up with that red one?

(Apollo does so)

Apollo: So, why are you doing this?

Sam: I just want to sing some father-son based songs to Doug when he gets here.

Apollo: But, he's not your biological father.

Sam: True, but I look up to him like a father. That's close enough for me.

Apollo: Whatever. (Looks around) So where is Mr. Testaburger anyway?

Deborah : (Overhears him) I don't know. He texted me about an hour ago, but no one has seen him or Ms. Marlowe.

Apollo: (Scoffs) I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Testaburger ran off with this Ms. Marlowe you speak of, and left you high and dry.

Deborah : My Dougie would never do that. He's a very faithful husband and a great father.

Maria: Don't mind him, Mrs. Testaburger, it's just his…dark sense of humor.

Apollo: Do I look like I'm joking? I'm just saying that people these days can't be trusted.

(Suddenly, they hear the phone ring from inside the house)

Wendy: I'll get it. (Wendy runs into the house and answers the phone) Hello?

Marlowe: (On the other end) _Oh, Wendy, is that you? It's me, Ms. Marlowe, your father's old teacher._

Wendy: Ms. Marlowe? Thank God! (She goes back to the backyard where everyone turns their attention towards her) Are you and my dad okay? You guys should be back by now. We're all waiting for you.

Marlowe: _Oh we're both fine…but your father decided that he likes being around me more than you lot._

Wendy: What do you mean?

Marlowe: _Your father is returning to Grand Isle with me. He works for me, and you'll never see him again._

Wendy: Excuse me?!

Deborah : Who is that, Wendy?

Wendy: (Talks into the phone) Hang on, Ms. Marlowe, I'm putting you on speaker phone so that we all can hear what you just said. (She puts Ms. Marlowe on speaker)

Deborah : Ms. Marlowe, is my Doug okay?

Marlowe: _Just peachy. More peachy than when he was with you. So he's returning to Grand Isle with me._

(Everybody gasps)

Apollo: Tch! I told you he'd cheat.

Bebe: Butt out, Apollo!

Marlowe: _That's right. Douglas is in my possession now._

Wendy: You can't have him! He's my father! Now come back here with him and we'll forget that this whole thing happened.

Marlowe: _I don't think so. After all, I'm a teacher, thus making me a superior figure. I don't have to do anything you tell me to. Not only that, but you could ask for your father back a little bit nicer, don't you think?_

Sam: Listen to me, you old bat! You'd better give my girlfriend her dad back right now or else I'll jump through that phone and rip that smart mouth off of that wrinkly face!

Marlowe: _Goodness. You don't sound any better Samuel._

Jeffrey: (Steps up) Let me try something. (He grabs the phone from Wendy and clears his throat) We don't know who you are. We don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, we don't have a lot of money. But what we do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills that we've acquired over the course of eight years. Skills that make people like us a nightmare for people like you. If you let Doug go now, that'll be the end of it. We won't look for you, we won't pursue you. But if you don't, then we will look for you, we will find you, and we will kill you.

(Silence)

Marlowe: _Imitating Liam Neeson won't bring Douglas back to you._

Jeffrey: (Gives the phone back to Wendy) Well I tried.

Bebe: I'll give you credit where credit was due, daddy, that was a great performance.

Jeffrey: You think so?

(Bebe, Helen, Cody, Mephesto, and Sophocles nod their heads)

Marlowe: _(Sigh) You know what. If you lot really are that hell bent on getting Douglas back, then I dare you all to come to my home on Grand Isle. It's just an island that lay in the Gulf of Mexico._

Kyle: How are we supposed to get there?

Marlowe: _There's a cargo plane at the South Park Airfield that's supposed to fly supplies to Grand Isle. It takes off in about two hours. You can ride that to the island. Though I should warn you, while I expect you to appear at my humble abode, my henchmen aren't expecting you. They are going to shoot you on sight. I don't care if I or my henchmen kill you off, as long as you Saints aren't a thorn in our side anymore._

Kevin: What do you mean " _our_ side"?

Marlowe: _Well, you're all going to find out eventually, but I am the fifth advocate: Penelope Marlowe._

Cody: (Clenches his fist) Advocate!

Token: Well, that figures.

Marlowe: _So, if you all care about Douglas at all, you'll sneak onto that cargo plane, fly over to my home, and do battle with me and my henchmen (Laughs evilly)._

(We cut to where Marlowe is making the call: Her private jet)

Marlowe: I look forward to your visit, Saints! Please, don't keep me waiting. (Hangs up and turns to Doug) Well Douglas, your friends and family are gearing up and ready to come to Grand Isle as we speak. How does that feel?

Doug: (Remains silent with dead expressionless eyes. The pill has taken full effect)

(Back at the party, everyone is still in shock)

Clyde: So, Mr. Testaburger has been kidnapped?

Millie: That's what it sounds like.

Wendy: God damn it! (Pounds on a nearby table) Ms. Marlowe is not going to get away with this!

Kenny: Well what are we going to do?

Sam: Weren't you listening to Ms. Marlowe on the phone? She said that there's a cargo plane down by the airfield that's ready to go straight towards Ms. Marlowe's location. What we're going to do is find a way to sneak onto that plane, and pay that old bag of an advocate a visit! We're going to go that island, sneak past her henchmen, and get Doug back here before day's end! Who's with me!

(Everyone cheers)

Sam: Alright, everybody gear up and meet me and Wendy at the gas station near the airfield.

Leon: You got it boss!

Maria: Apollo, are you coming with us?

Apollo: (Grunts) I guess.

Maria: (Grabs his hand and they hurry back to their appartment) Perfect! Come on, let's go!

(Everybody leaves, and the only ones remaining are Deborah , Helen, Big Gay Al, and Kelly)

Helen: So…what do you want to do now?

Big Gay Al: Want me to make you some mojitos and we can watch the Sex and the City movies?

Helen: Count me in.

Deborah : It'll take my mind off of things.

(The three prepare to go inside, but Kelly just stands there)

Big Gay Al: (Turns back to face Kelly) Sweetie, do you want to come in and maybe we can make you some food?

Kelly: No thank you! I have a feeling that Sammy is going to be in grave danger! I need to help him somehow! I'm going to that airfield and going with him! (Runs off and hops over the fence)

Big Gay Al: Kelly, wait!

(She doesn't hear him)

Big Gay Al: (Shrugs his shoulder) Eh. I'm sure that Sam, Alex, and those other silly geese will look after her. It's Mojito Time! (Goes back in the house)

 **(See you all in Part 2 of this 3-part episode, kiddies!)**


	14. Teacher's Pet (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 13: Teacher's Pet (Part 2)

(This part of the episode starts off where the last one leaves off. Sam and Wendy, dressed as Sir Justice and Fuchsia Tigress, are at the gas station that's a few blocks away from the airfield. They are waiting for everyone to arrive)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sammy.

Sam/Sir Justice: What is it, my Wen-Wen?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I'm worried.

Sam/Sir Justice: About your father?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Nods her head) I just don't know what Ms. Marlowe is planning on doing with my dad. I don't know if she plans on using him as bait for us, if she plans on killing him, I just don't know.

Sam/Sir Justice: I knew something seemed peculiar about Ms. Marlowe. I wish I could've done something about it then so we didn't have to worry about Mr. Testaburger's safety now.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Looks up into the sky) Dad…father…we're coming to save you. Just hang on. (Looks down at her fists) When I see that old windbag…God only knows what I'll do to her.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Places a hand on Wendy's shoulder to calm her down, and she hugs him as a result) By the end of the night, my sweet, Ms. Marlow shall know the true wrath and power of the South Park Saints.

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (9 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, and Ms. Penelope Marlowe). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut back to the gas station where the other saints, sans for Mephesto, Maria, and Apollo, are gathered)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Well, we're all here except for Mephesto, Maria, and Apollo.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hang on, here we come! (Maria and Apollo arrive) Sorry we're late, we just had to make sure Apollo had a good disguise so he won't be recognized.

 **(Apollo is shirtless and hatless, wearing his black pants and loafers, and wearing a black plague doctor's mask)**

Millie: But you just took off his hat and shirt and put a plague doctor's mask on him.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Well we didn't have a lot of time to come up with an elaborate costume.

Sam/Sir Justice: Whatever. Let's just roll with it. So, what's your ego's name?

Apollo: Do I really have to come up with a ridiculous name? What's the point?

Cartman/Coon: Just make one up.

Apollo: Okay fine, if it'll shut you all up. Call me the Psychotic Plague.

Token/Tupper Wear: That's actually not that bad of a name.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I like it, meow! But not as much as I like a shirtless Apollo, _meow!_

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: You're barking up the wrong tree, Catwoman.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Doesn't anyone love me!?

Stan/Tool Shed: (To himself) Come on, Stan, tell Heidi how you feel. (He walks up to her) Uh, Heidi.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Hmm?

Stan/Tool Shed: (Gets nervous and chickens out as he pats her back and says) There's someone for everyone. You'll find the piece to your puzzle and all that.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Aww, thank you Stan. You're such a good friend, meow!

(Then Mephesto comes up with yet another monstrosity. This one is just a bear with the quills of a porcupine)

Mephesto: Sorry I'm late! I just had to pick a perfect hybrid to use.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: And this is the one that's going to help us?

Mephesto: Precisely! Saints, I'd like to introduce you all to the Bearcupine!

(Everyone just stares at it)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Twenty dollars says that thing dies by the end of the night.

Mephesto: Trust me, everyone, the Bearcupine is the ultimate fighting machine, and will be instrumental in taking on Marlowe.

Red/Madame Knight: Whatever you say…but we still think that thing is going to get killed somehow.

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright. Our circle is complete.

Kyle/Human Kite: Yeah, about that, do you really need all of us to go with you and Wendy?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You heard what Marlowe said on the phone. She said that she has countless henchmen. Sam and I could go alone…but it would be a suicide mission.

Sam/Sir Justice: We figured it'd be better if we all go together so that way we stand a bit more of a chance. You know what they say: Safety in numbers.

Sophocles: (Puffs on a cigarette) So true. Great thinking, Sam.

Clyde/Mosquito: What's the plan, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: While Wendy and I were waiting for you all to show up, we snuck over to the airfield to do some re-con on this cargo plane. We noticed that there are a lot of wooden crates there. Wooden crates that we can hide in and ride to Grand Isle. It's going to be cramped, but how else are we going to get to the island?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: We don't even have to use the cargo plane at all. I have a private jet. We could've flown there on that.

Sam/Sir Justice: While that is a good idea, my fear is that Marlowe will notice us and she'll gun us down before we even make it to the island.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: She's expecting us to come after her so she'll probably pull out all of the stops all for the sake of wiping us out.

Sam/Sir Justice: The plan is this: We each hop into a crate, ride about 5-6 hours to the island, Marlowe's goons will place us on some truck that'll hopefully take us to Mr. Testaburger's location, we'll bust out of the crates, bust Marlowe's plans, save Mr. Testaburger, and put that old bitch in handcuffs. It's a simple plan, but one that'll prove to be effective.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: How are we going to get home though?

Sam/Sir Justice: Like Cody said, he has a private jet that we can ride in. We'll take that home.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Ah, excellent!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright guys, that's the game plan. Let's move out! For the Cerulean Viper!

Saints: YEAH!

(As the 29 Saints march off for the airfield, but Kelly Rutherford follows close behind, making sure not to catch their attention. We then cut to said airfield where the saints are gathered in some bushes, spying on four of Marlowe's men as they are loading crates into the cargo plane. All of Marlowe's men are wearing tuxedos with red ties and black framed sunglasses with black lenses)

Kenny/Mysterion: Whoa, check out all of those crates.

Annie/Darling Dame: Are all of them really going to Grand Isle?

Sam/Sir Justice: Looks like it. (The coast becomes clear as the guards take a short break. Sam turns to his team) Alright, it looks like the coast is clear for now. On the count of three, we run to those crates. We need to find some empty ones that we can ride in. Once we find an empty one, hop inside it! From there we play the waiting game. So get ready everybody, because we only have one shot. 1, 2, 3!

(With that said, all of the saints scurry to find an empty crate. After a while, all 29 manage to find an empty crate to hideout and ride in (Mephesto managed to find a separate crate for the Bearcupine). Kelly manages to catch up to everyone else and finds a crate of her own to hide out in. She hops inside and closes it)

Kelly: (To herself) I just have to be very quiet in here. As far as Sam and his friends are concerned, I'm still hanging out at Wendy's place. They have no idea that I'm here. I can't make any sounds. It won't be easy, but I'll do my best.

(Suddenly, Kelly feels the crate get lifted on to a hand truck and get wheeled to the cargo plane. The crates that have our heroes in them soon get put on hand trucks and wheeled to the plane as well. Sam manages to take a peek at the plane through a small hole in the crate's wood. Eventually our heroes are placed inside the plane)

Henchmen #1: Well, that's the last of them.

Henchmen #2: Good. Now let's get back to Grand Isle. (They close the door to the cargo hold as they make their way to the stairs that takes them to the cockpit) Hey I just had a bad thought.

Henchmen #3: What is it?

Henchmen #2: What if some kids just hopped into these crates without us noticing and they're coming with us to the island.

Henchmen #4: Don't even joke about that. I'm stressed out enough as it is, and I just can't deal with intruders on our home front today, man. My wife is due any day now and I'm still stressing out about how I'm going to pay for hospital bills.

Henchmen #1: You'll find a way Dixon, you always have.

Henchmen #4: Thanks, bud.

(The four henchmen enter the plane and it takes off for Grand Isle)

(On the plane, our heroes decide to talk)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I don't think anyone else is here. I think we're free to talk now.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Perfect, because I have a few rules I'd like to lay down if we're going to be in these crates for the next few hours. Rule #1: No farting. I do not want to smell anybody's butt air the entire ride.

Cartman/Coon: Probably a bad time to mention that I had a quick snack at Taco Bell before we started this mission.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Of course you did. Anyway, Rule #2, no singing!

Millie: No singing?!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: No singing, no whistling, no humming!

Millie: Well then what the hell are we supposed to do?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I don't care, sleep! Which brings me to Rule #3: No snoring.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Wha-! How the hell are we supposed to do that?! We cannot control what our bodies do!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I don't care, just don't snore.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Anymore ridiculous rules we should follow?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Just one more and I'm done. Rule #4, and this is the big one, absolutely no complaining! I don't care if you're tired, I don't care if you're hungry, I don't care if your legs are cramping up in your crate, I don't care if you have to use the bathroom. The moment I hear anything that remotely sounds like a complaint, I am telepathically sewing your lips together! Are we clear?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Sarcastically) Yes, we are so clear?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Bonus rule: No sassing me.

Red/Madame Knight: (Sarcastically) Oh that's a great rule.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: What did I say?!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Golly, Sam, you're the leader, why does he get to make the rules? (No answer) Uh Sam? (No answer) SAM!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his ear buds to his MP3 Player) Oh, sorry, I was listening to music. I couldn't hear you.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Okay then. Maria, he's your brother, why don't you put him in his place.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Just let him have this one. He's the newbie to the group.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Whatever, y'all homies be useless.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: (Takes out a pen and a puzzle book) Hey, I'm going to be doing some crosswords, but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Sure, whatever.

(Later in the flight, our heroes aren't talking. They are all very quiet with nothing to say. The silence is broken with)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Starts clapping the opening instrumentals to Rixton's "Me and My Broken Hearts")

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Starts tapping her fists against the wall of her crate to create the guitar for the song)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Singing) All I need is a little love in my life. All I need is a little love in the ark. A little but I'm hoping it might kick start me and my broken heart.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Singing) I need a little loving tonight. Hold me so I'm not falling apart. A little but I'm hoping it might kicks tart me and my broker heart.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Singing) Shotgun, aimed at my heart, you got one. Tear me apart in this song. How do we call this love?

Clyde/Mosquito: (Singing) I tried, to run away but your eyes tell me to stay oh why…Why do we call this love?

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Singing) It seems like we've been losing control.

Tweek/Peppy Prince & Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Singing) Somebody tell me I'm not alone when I say…

All Saints (Except for Apollo, Bearcupine, and Kelly): All I need is a little love in my life. All I need is a little love in the dark. A little but I'm hoping it might kick start me and my broken heart. I need a little loving tonight. Hold me so I'm not falling apart. A little but I'm hoping it might kick start me and my broken heart!

Apollo: God damn it! What did I say about singing!

Kyle/Human Kite: Sorry, dude, but we just couldn't resist. We have nothing better to do.

Sam/Sir Justice: Guys, I had a really lame idea. But I thought we were pretty good. What do you guys think?

(The other saints agree with him)

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay well…I was thinking when we get back to South Park, we pitch an idea to the Guess Clothing Company: South Park Saints Christmas Album!

Kevin: Oh my god! Yes! We need to do that!

Token/Tupper Wear: I will start a Go Fund Me page just so we can make that happen.

Kenny/Mysterion: Maybe we can do covers to other songs do.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I can sing a killer Kryptonite.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: I'm trying to sing Slim Shady. Once I get the rhythm down pat, I'd love to sing the cover to that song.

Millie: This is my song right here, I'm going to turn you guys on to it. (Singing) It's a lot like Romeo and Juliet! It feels like something's happening to me! In the summertime! I met a guy he was so fine! He blew my mind…

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: This is why I said no singing…because you guys won't shut up!

(Later in the flight, still)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Sigh) Apollo…

Apollo/Psycho Plague: What?

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I know you said not to complain about being hungry…BUT I'M FUCKING STARVING IN HERE!

Apollo/Psycho Plague: Sorry, I can't help you.

Stan/Tool Shed: Heidi, I have an idea that might help you cope with your hunger pangs. I remember when I was a little boy, about 3-4 years old, my favorite cartoon was Little Bear. I remember one episode they had something called a "Because Party." Anyway, there was one scene where they imagined the food they'd be eating since they didn't bring any food. It worked somehow and they got full. Maybe it has something to do with psychology, I don't know.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Where are you going with this?

Stan/Tool Shed: I'm saying we imagine a dinner party like they did. Maybe it'll work.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: It's sounds like a lame idea, but I'm so hungry that I'm willing to try almost anything to make the hunger go away.

Stan/Tool Shed: Perfect! So who wants to host this party?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh! Me! Me! For the love of God, me!

Stan/Tool Shed: Alright, Butters, let's see what you've got.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Yes!

Kenny/Mysterion: Before we begin, Stan, I have a question. Can I imagine a hot babe with nice breasts to eat with me?

Stan/Tool Shed: It's Butters' imaginary dinner party.

Butters/Professor Chaos: And I say no. I want it to be a classy dinner party.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: So I guess I can't imagine my deceased cat Thumper?

Butters/Professor Chaos: No, you can't, Bebe. I'm sorry. Anyway, let's take a look at what we're having for dinner. I'm thinking a nice big London Broil Steak that's been cooking on the grill. But no seasoning or steak sauce. I like my steak plain.

Clyde/Mosquito: (Starts to lose interest) Oh, okay.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Now, no carbs with this meal. We want to stay fit for when we kick butt.

Annie/Darling Dame: Aw, but I like my steak with potatoes or rice. That's how Kurty always serves his steaks.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah, Butters, why can't we imagine whatever we want.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Because it's my dinner party, and you will eat what I give you. Anyway, vegetables. I'm thinking broccoli and spinach.

Millie: Blech! I hate broccoli!

Red/Madame Knight: I want some corn on the cob.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Would it be possible if I could get biscuits with butter?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: For my biscuits can I have olive oil?

Butters/Professor Chaos: No biscuits, no corn on the cob, you'll eat what I serve because it's my dinner party.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Well then take us there!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Okay! Chill out, yelling at me and stuff. Alright, everybody needs a beverage.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Is it an orange cream soda? Oh, or maybe a milkshake.

Butters/Professor Chaos: It's none of that. The beverage in question is Gatorade. And it's going to be my favorite flavor: blue!

Sam/Sir Justice: Dude, blue is not a flavor. How do you taste blue?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: And besides, which blue Gatorade are we talking about? There's Blue Cherry, Arctic Blitz, Glacier Freeze, Cool Blue.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Okay, any blue Gatorade, how about that?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Good.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Well, that's dinner everybody. Dig in!

(Everyone pretends that they're eating Butters' "meal," but then…)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Hey, Butters, how did you cook this steak anyway?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh I cooked them rare. Nice and bloody.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Shudders) Eww!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I hate rare meat! (Pretends to spit out the steak)

Butters/Professor Chaos: No, stop! Don't spit it out! Just imagine that the steak tastes good, okay.

Cartman/Coon: Mmm-mmm-mmm! So delicious.

Butters/Professor Chaos: You guys hear Cartman in his crate? He's enjoying the food.

Cartman/Coon: What? Oh no, I'm not imagining your food. I'm imagining a delicious surf and turf that consists of lobster tails, jumbo shrimp, and skirt steak.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: You had me at jumbo shrimp!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I want that! I want what Cartman's having!

Cartman/Coon: Go ahead everybody, it's right in front of you. And so are the biscuits, corn on the cob, and potatoes that you all desire.

Red/Madame Knight: Woo-hoo!

Annie/Darling Dame: Alright!

Cartman/Coon: Hey Kenny, Bebe, do you know what else comes with your food?

Kenny/Mysterion: What?

Cartman/Coon: A busty babe for Kenny, and Thumper for Bebe.

Kenny/Mysterion: Oh yes! (Pretends to hug a hot woman) Come here baby!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Pretends to nuzzle a cat) Aw, Thumper-Wumper! I wuv you so much!

Butters/Professor Chaos: No! No! No surf and turf, no cats, no buxom chicks! Stop ruining this for me, dang it!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Makes a whirring sound)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Maria, what are _you_ doing?!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Oh, I'm just making some delicious vanilla milkshakes for everybody. I even threw cherries on top of them.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Maria, you are a lifesaver! You're awesome.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I know I am.

Sophocles: You got any chocolate straws?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I have all the sweets you'll ever need, doc.

Butters/Professor Chaos: No, this isn't going how I wanted it to!

Craig/DJ-C Rage: Screw you and your shitty ass food, Butters.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Okay, you know what? CRASH! (Pretends to knock the plates and glasses off of an imaginary table) Now everything is broken on the floor!

(The rest of the gang make noises of disapproval)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Pretends to flip a table) Now I'm flipping the table, SMASH! (Pretends to throw something) Now I'll break a plate! BOOM! CRASH!

(As this debacle continues on, the gang hears laughter…coming from Apollo's crate)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Laughs uncontrollably) Oh God, you guys are so fun!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: That's the first time I've heard Apollo laugh in ages.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Apollo, did you enjoy this?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Stops laughing) Uh, what I meant to say was that you guys are fun-nominally stupid! Yeah, that's it!

Kevin: You say you didn't have fun, but your mind and heart are wishing that this could've gone on for longer.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: SHUT UP!

(Later…again)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at his watch to see that they've been flying for four and a half hours) We must be getting pretty close. We've been trapped in these crates for almost five hours.

Token/Tupper Wear: It's about time.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Hey everyone, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. I'm scared of flying. I never could get on a plane or other assorted airborne vehicles. So this is the first time I've ever gotten on a plane, and it would be a damn shame to die now. However, we still have a little more time left on this flight, anything is possible, so just in case we all go down in a big fireball of death and destruction, can I just confess something to get it off my chest?

Sam/Sir Justice: If it'll make you feel any better, go ahead dude.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Thanks, um…I don't know how to say this but…Craig has a Pittsburg Steelers jersey, I saw him wearing it the other day when I came over to his house.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: What!? That's a secret, Tweek!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Dude, don't tell me it's Roethlisberger.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Of course it's Roethlisberger, he's the best damn quarterback in the history of the sport!

Clyde/Mosquito: Holy shit, dude!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Starts screaming uncontrollably)

(The other Saints shout at and reprimand Craig for his sin)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: I'm sorry but I don't know why you're getting mad at me for. Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula are Texans fans.

Stan/Tool Shed: That's understandable because they're Houston natives! I mean, I don't get it! A Steelers jersey?! Don't you have any Broncos jerseys?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: No, in my opinion, the Broncos suck.

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Blasphemy!

(The rest of the gang yells at him some more)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Okay, truthfully, how many super bowls have the Broncos won? Less than the Steelers I'll tell you that!

Kevin: Fuck you! You are a traitor!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Okay, you know what, I have something that I want to confess. Hey, Mr. Stevens.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Yes?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: You remember those shoes that your daughter gave to you a few years back for your birthday?

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Oh those nice leather ones?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Yeah, guess what, that's not real leather! She brought a pair of cheap knock offs!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Gah! Why the hell are you blowing up my spot! (Sigh) I'm sorry, daddy.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Don't worry, sweetie, it's all in the past. I'm not stressing about it. Besides, I think the knock offs you gave me are very comfy. And I'm not just saying that. I never lie.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Well I'm glad you liked them. Anyway, as long as we're all "tattling" on each other: Heidi enlisted me to take pictures of the boys in the locker room while they shower. I was against the idea, but she didn't care.

(The guys are disturbed by that)

Cartman/Coon: Heidi, what the hell!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I can't help it if I have a healthy interest in the opposite sex.

Token/Tupper Wear: A healthy interest?! You're a goddamn pervert!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: We have every right to sue your ass for sexual harassment right now!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: You are one sick puppy!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: No, I'm a cat. Meow! Anyway, if we're still playing the blame game, I'd like to say that while Red and Kevin were dating, you know before Sam and his gang came along, Red made Kevin a beautiful painting…he threw it away.

Red/Madame Knight: Is this true?

Kevin: Okay fine, yes, but it's not what you think.

Red/Madame Knight: Save it, Kev! I was right to break up with you!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Whoa, whoa, whoa! My red velvet cake, you dated Kevin.

Red/Madame Knight: Bear in mind, Ursu, this was back in my "Straight Days."

Kevin: Moving right along, I'd also like to tattle. Kyle, do you remember back in the 3rd grade when you invited me and Cartman over to play video games and you got mad at me because I ate the last chocolate brownie? I wasn't the one who ate it…it was him! He made me lie about it so that way he could get off Scott-free!

Cartman/Coon: Goddamn you, Kevin!

Kyle/Human Kite: Goddamn Kevin? Goddamn you! I told you not to touch that brownie!

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, guys, chill out! It's clear that the conditions we are traveling in are making us all very cranky, which cause us to reveal stuff about our respective pasts.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I don't know about you guys, but I was enjoying this.

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's just all try and stay calm until we get there. Save all of that pent up anger for when we get to Marlowe and whoop her ass for taking Mr. Testaburger away from us!

Mephesto: Just hang on one more minute. There's something I'd like to confess. (Inhales deeply) I was at Chappaquiddick. Teddy Kennedy, the bridge, the girl, the car. I played a major role.

Sophocles: What…

Annie/Darling Dame: Mr. Mephesto, we weren't confessing, we were tattling. Keep up.

(Suddenly, they feel the cargo plane shake…the plane has landed)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Oh God, are we crashing!?

Sam/Sir Justice: No. I think we're landing!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Good. I can finally stretch my legs.

(They feel the plane come to a complete stop)

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright guys, the plane has stopped. Marlowe's men are going to come for us. Remember. Nobody moves, and nobody makes any sort of noise. Got it?

Saints: Yes!

(Marlowe's four henchmen open up the door to the cargo hold and start taking the crates off of the plane. Once all of the crates are off the plane, we see two more of Marlowe's men drive into the airfield with a truck. They get out of the truck to greet their comrades)

Henchmen #1: Right on schedule.

Henchmen #5: Hello gentlemen. How was the flight?

Henchmen #3: Surprisingly very smooth.

Henchmen #6: So, shall we load these crates into the truck. Ms. Marlowe is waiting.

Henchmen #2: Of course.

Henchmen #5: May we take a look inside some of these crates. You know, make sure we got the correct order?

Henchmen #1: I guess it wouldn't hurt.

(The Saints are scarred as to what's going to happen. Kelly is in her crate, hoping that they don't look in her crate. Nevertheless, the Saints get ready to fight Marlowe's henchmen. The six henchmen walk up to a crate and open up…Sophocles' crate)

Sophocles: Hey…what's up?

Henchmen #4: Oh boy. I was afraid of this.

Henchmen #5: What are you doing here old man?

Sophocles: Oh…it was just some…crazy thing…I was dared to…HYAH! (Jumps up out of the crate)

Henchmen #1: Shoot him!

(The six henchmen take out guns and start shooting at Sophocles, who takes out his scythe and spins it around to deflect the bullets. The bullets hit the truck and it explodes. Sophocles lands on his feet and charges at the six henchmen)

Sophocles: Paralysis Pummel!

(He hits the six guards' pressure points on their bodies and paralyzes them and they fall to the ground)

Sophocles: Alright, gang, you can come out now.

(The rest of the Saints, sans for Kelly, come out of their crates)

Henchmen #1: Oh God. You're those South Park Saints Ms. Marlowe warned us about.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Damn right! (Grabs Henchmen #1 by the collar and glares at him in the eye) Now where is my father!

Henchmen #1: The blue gi, gentleman? Ms. Marlowe took him to her mansion in the middle of the island. I'm only telling you this because you lot will never make it to him…alive.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his lightsaber) Is that a death threat?!

Henchmen #1: No, it's a fact. Because Grand Isle is practically swarming with gun slinging, blade wielding goons like us. They'll kill you all before you even reach the mansion.

Sam/Sir Justice: What a coincidence. We're all a bunch of gun slinging, blade wielding goons too, but I'm willing to bet that our weapons are miles better than the shit you have.

Henchmen #1: Make my day, brat!

Sam/Sir Justice: I shall. Wendy, do you want to lead the way, or should I?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I'd be happy to. Come on gang, let's go save my dad!

(The Saints leave, and Kelly comes out of her crate)

Kelly: Well, they're gone. Time for me to get to that mansion, and save Mr. Testaburger for Sam! Then he'll see that I'm the right girl for him!

Henchmen #2: Oh god, there's another one.

Kelly: Hey, what's up?

(Suddenly, some reinforcements enter the airfield to come to the aide of the six henchmen. They see that Kelly is there)

Kelly: Uh-oh!

Henchmen #7: Who are you?

Henchmen #8: Die! (The reinforcements start shooting at her and Kelly runs away from them screaming)

(Meanwhile, in another part of the island, the South Park Saints are looking around, trying to find the path to Marlowe's mansion. They appear to be in a town area with cobblestone streets)

Sophocles: This place doesn't look too different from South Park Hills. The only difference is that it's more desolate.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I read that during Hurricane Katrina, this island somehow managed to end up unscathed. So that's why the buildings and trees appear to be intact.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: And yet there doesn't seem to be any signs of life other than Marlowe's minions. How odd. I mean, was this island populated?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Yeah, but something happened in 2018 that caused all of the island's inhabitants to mysteriously vanish.

Stan/Tool Shed: We should all probably stay close.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Good plan.

(Meanwhile, Wendy is staring in the direction of Marlowe's mansion. She can see it in the distance)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Hang on, dad, we're coming to save you.

Sam/Sir Justice: Still worried about your father, babe?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Of course I am. I don't know what Marlowe is doing to him right now, if she's even planning on doing something to him.

Sam/Sir Justice: I share your concerns too. I know your father and I got off on the wrong foot a few years back, but as time passed we learned to respect and love each other like a real father and son. He taught me how to play darts like a real father would, he would offer me a ride to school if I needed it, he was always there to help us out on missions. He is the real definition of a father.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Which is why we have to do everything in our power to save him. My dad is too great of a man and an even better South Park Saint. We have to get him home even if it's the last thing I do.

Sam/Sir Justice: I understand. Mark my words, babe, by the end of the night Mr. Testaburger will be coming home safe and sound with us.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Calls out to Sam and Wendy) Hey, you two ready to press on to the mansion?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah! (The two teens hurry to the rest of their group) We're ready. (Looks around) Uh, where's Butters?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Hey, you guys. You might want to take a look at this.

(Butters points down an alleyway and the Saints see a van just sitting there with some of Marlowe's men in it)

Annie/Darling Dame: Hey what's that?

(The van starts driving towards our heroes and the window to the front passenger seat rolls down. An arm holding a gun appears)

Saints: OH SHIT!

(Our heroes begin to run away as the henchmen give chase and try and shoot at them)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets behind the group and whips out his guns) Falcon's Blast!

(He fires his attacks at the van to try and scare them off, but it just stops and some of Marlowe's henchmen jump out and try to chase the gang on foot)

(The South Park Saints run down an alley way to try and lose the henchmen, but another henchmen is standing on top of a roof with a sniper)

Red/Madame Knight: (Takes out a crossbow) Crossbow of Honor! (Fires an arrow and nails the sniping henchmen in the throat as he falls off the roof and onto the ground dead)

Token/Tupper Wear: (Takes the sniper gun from the dead minion) I'll be taking that!

(They keep running down the alley way where they come across a dead end…with two more of Marlowe's men ready for them with big machetes)

Kenny/Mysterion: Guys, we've got company!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boombox morphs into armored hands) Move it! Out of the way! Coming through! Boom Bop! (He hits the two minions in the face and knocks them unconscious)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks up at the roof to the house in front of him, then looks at a dumpster in the corner) I think we can get up there if we use that dumpster. Kurt, help me move it!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Got it, buddy! (Him and Sam move the dumpster and everyone starts to climb up to the rooftops)

Annie/Darling Dame: (Walks up to the unconscious guards and picks up the machetes) These could come in handy. (Ties them to her person with the sash on her wrap skirt) That'll work as a make shift holster.

Millie: Annie, I hear footsteps! They're coming!

Annie/Darling Dame: I'm on my way!

(Two of Marlowe's henchmen turn the corner and start shooting at our heroes again. Kurt, already on the rooftop, stays behind and tries to hold them off so that his comrades can have time to escape)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Go ahead of me! I'll catch up with you guys! (Takes out his revolvers) Radiant Revolvers!

(Kurt fires a few blasts, slowing down the enemy's attack. The rest of the Saints manage to get by unscathed)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kurt, come on!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I'm coming, just hold on! (Marlowe's men start shooting at him again, causing him to scream like a little girl and runaway on the rooftops with his friends)

Henchmen #9: Damn it!

(On the rooftops, our heroes are still running away)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sees Marlowe's mansion in the distance) There's the mansion! I see it!

(They look and see that they have to start jumping across buildings)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: We're all going to have to jump.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Like hell I am. (Looks and finds a long plank of wood that he places down to use as a bridge. As that's happening three more minions climb up a ladder and make it to the building across from our heroes. They take out guns)

Stan/Tool Shed: Go away! Wrench-a-rang! (Throws his wrench and knocks the three minions out cold. The wrench comes back to Stan)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go!

(Our heroes make their way across many buildings, taking out any guards that found them. Eventually they run out of buildings to jump over, and they have to jump down onto the roof of a warehouse that's across from them. They jump and find an open sky light window which they all enter to avoid getting caught by Marlowe's men)

(Inside the warehouse, our heroes duck down and get away from any windows in case Marlowe's men decide to look inside)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: (Panting) I'm getting too old for this shit.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Does anyone hear Marlowe's henchmen outside?

(There is a brief silence)

Butters/Professor Chaos: No, I think we lost them.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Jesus Christ, it's so dark in here. Can somebody try and find a light?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Don't worry, I've got this. (She conjures up a fireball with her boxing gloves, and holds it, using it as a make-shift lantern)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Ah! Much better.

(Everyone looks around and they are shocked at what they see)

Mephesto: Sweet mother of God!

(They look and see that the warehouse is full of weapons, vans, helicopters, and tanks)

Kevin: Look at all of these weapons.

Cartman/Coon: Forget the weapons. Check out all of these vehicles.

Millie: I've never seen this many weapons and vehicles in one place. Honestly.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I have to hand it to this Marlowe lady. She doesn't fool around.

Kenny/Mysterion: Marlowe must be planning some kind of an attack if she has all of these weapons and vehicles in storage.

Sam/Sir Justice: If she is, then we need to stop her ASAP!

Cody/Mr. Gentlemen: First things first. We need to find Marlowe's mansion while staying the hell away from any of her minions.

Kevin: Leave that to me. (He grabs another vaccine, and one painful transformation later he has the ears and feet of a bunny rabbit)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Gosh, Kev, you look so cute as a rabbit.

Kevin: With these rabbit ears, I could probably hear Marlowe's men easier. Just trust in me and we'll get to the mansion in no time.

Sam/Sir Justice: Perfect, let's go. (They leave the warehouse and continue their trek to the mansion)

(Meanwhile, Kelly is in another part of the island town getting chased by an angry mob of Marlowe's men)

Kelly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Henchmen #10: Intruder alert! Stop her! She's allied with those Saints!

(Kelly keeps running until she finds a dumpster to hide away in. She jumps in and the angry mob runs past her. She pokes her head out of the dumpster to find that the coast is clear)

Kelly: Phew! I got those guys off my tail for now! But there has to be some way that I can walk through this town without getting chased down by those Men's Warehouse Model Wannabes. (She then looks in the trash to find a tuxedo with a hole in the sleeve and a ripped pant leg, some old loafers, a rusty machete, and a dusty fedora hat) Hmm…

 **(Cue Stayin' Alive by the BeeGees)**

(The next scene has Kelly walking down the streets of the Grand Isle town, disguised as one of Marlowe's men. Her hair is tucked inside the fedora, and she's wearing the worn out suit over her clothes. She passes by some of Marlowe's other henchmen)

 **(Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man! No time to talk! Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born. And now it's all right, it's okay. And you may look the other way. We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man!)**

Kelly: (With masculine voice) Hey, how you doing, mate?

Henchmen #11: I'm fine, thank you.

Kelly: (Spots another minion) Hey, hey, hey! How's the family, buddy?

Henchmen #12: (Gives thumbs up) A-okay! My daughter just got accepted into Yale!

Kelly: Make sure she practices safe sex!

Henchmen #12: Don't worry, she's a good girl.

Kelly: (Spots another minion) Yo, we meeting up at the bar after this?

Henchmen #13: Oh, ho, ho! You know it, man! Drinks are on me tonight!

Kelly: (Giving a thumbs up) Alright, alright, alright!

 **(Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Feelt he city breakin' and everybody shakin' and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin'** _ **alive**_ **)**

Kelly: (To herself) This is going better than I thought it would. I'll be at this Marlowe lady's mansion in no time flat. I'm going to be the hero for once, save Mr. Testaburger, and Sammy will be so impressed with me that I'll leave Wendy and beg for me to take him back. This will happen or my name isn't Kelly Magenta Rutherford-Menskin. (She continues on her merry way)

(Meanwhile, our Saints finally make it to Marlowe's mansion: A big and tall building painted in white with black shingles on the roof and a helipad on the top. The lawn is big and neatly cut with small Pickett fences all over the place)

Sam/Sir Justice: Marlowe's Mansion!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: We finally made it! Hang on, dad, we're coming!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Hmm, I wonder what these small fences are used for?

Kyle/Human Kite: This yard is pretty big. Maybe Marlowe and her henchmen use the front yard as a sort of training ground for battle?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: That would be the most logical explanation.

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on, everyone, let's find a way inside the mansion. As per usual it'd be very idiotic to use the front door.

(Meanwhile, Penelope Marlowe is inside the mansion, more specifically the mansion's inner sanctum, and she's watching our heroes on a monitor)

Marlowe: (Chuckles to herself) Well now, it's about time you naughty Saints showed up. You've been keeping my boys waiting.

(Marlowe snaps her fingers, and when she does, the front door immediately opens and hordes of Marlowe's men pour out of the mansion's front door. The minions with guns start to shoot at our heroes and they immediately hide behind the Pickett fences)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I knew this would be too easy.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Jesus! These goons are everywhere!

Mephesto: Anyone else thinking about calling a full retreat? I sincerely doubt we can handle all of these guys.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Don't give up, everyone! We've come this far, I know we can beat them if we just try! Besides, I'm not leaving my father behind.

Sam/Sir Justice: Wendy's right! As long as we're all still alive and well, we can fight!

Cartman/Coon: That's right, Sam. Just hang on, I'll be right back (Gets away from the fight).

Stan/Tool Shed: Dude, where are you going?!

Cartman/Coon: Just trust me! (He leaves)

Kyle/Human Kite: I can't believe Cartman's actually leaving at a time like this!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: We'll be fine without him, meow! Right now let's go bust some heads! (She storms out on the battlefield using the speed pads on her paws. She manages to dodge any enemy fire and get up close to some of Marlowe's minions) Kitty's Claws!

(Heidi slashes away at any of Marlowe's minions, and they either retreat or bleed out)

Stan/Tool Shed: Heidi is going to get herself killed, I've got to do something! (He runs out and sees one of Marlowe's men about to shoot Heidi while she's not looking)

Henchmen #14: Goodbye, kitty!

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer! (He knocks the henchman unconscious and grabs his gun) Heidi, catch! (He throws the gun at her and she catches it) You're going to need it if we're dealing with guys like these!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Thanks, Stan! (She sees more guards coming, and she whips out her new gun) Look out now! The kitty cat has a gun and she refuses to take her medication! (Laughs maniacally as she fires at the mob)

Henchmen #15: (Charges at Stan) Come here, handy man!

Stan/Tool Shed: Drill Launcher! (Fires a drill bit right in the henchman's eye)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hey, why should you two have all of the fun, save some for the rest of us!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Come on out of hiding then, there's plenty of fun to go around, meow!

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on, everyone, let's do this! Charge!

(The rest of the Saints come out and fight)

Mephesto: Bearcupine, use Quill Shooter! (The Bearcupine shoots its quills at Marlowe's henchmen, killing them. But more are still coming) Pointed Roll, let's go! (Bearcupine rolls up in a ball and mows down the mob of minions)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Sparking Drum Roll! (Fires electricity from her drum sticks, electrocuting some henchmen)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax! (Fires a blast of energy at three minions)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Blade Storm! (Throws swords at some minions, and impales them)

Kevin: Rabbit Kick! (Kicks some henchmen with his rabbit feet)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague & Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Bomb! (They throw bombs composed of blue and pink energy at the minions)

Millie: Righteous Shotguns! (Blows some minions away with her shotguns)

Kenny/Mysterion: Conundrum Shooter! (Fires a blast from his ray gun, hitting any nearby henchmen)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Hyper Voice! (Shouts loud into his megaphone, and the sound waves knock the henchmen down)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Throws a big fireball at some minions. After the attack she looks up and sees a bunch of snipers on the roof) Shit, look out everyone! Snipers!

(Everyone now dodges attacks from the henchmen on the ground _and_ the snipers on the roof)

Clyde/Mosquito: Don't worry, I got this! (Flies up and faces one of the snipers) Mosquito Mob: Savage Swarm! (The brown mosquito robots swarm the sniper, and he falls of the roof trying to swat them away)

Annie/Darling Dame: (Flies up after him) You could use some help! (Takes out her uzis) Bullets of the Rising Sun! (Fires bullets at another sniper, killing him)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Flies up to face a sniper) Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity from his fingertips, electrocuting the sniper, causing him to fall of the roof)

Token/Tupper Wear: (On ground level, he uses his own sniper to aim at one of the snipers on the roof) One shot, one kill! (He fires his sniper kills the henchman on the roof)

(As this is going on, Kelly finally makes it to the mansion, but she enters through the back yard. Kelly runs up to an air vent and pries it open)

Kelly: (Takes of her disguise and she's in her regular clothing once again) Well, in I go! (She enters the air vent and starts crawling through it)

(We cut back to the South Park Saints who are still trying their best in the fight against Marlowe's men)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Sam, we can't hold these guys off forever! For every one we take down, ten more take his place.

Sam/Sir Justice: We've got to keep trying! We have to find a way into that mansion!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: How? Marlowe's henchmen keep coming through that door!

Kyle/Human Kite: Where the hell is Cartman! We could use him right about now!

(Suddenly, they hear the engine of a van coming)

Kyle/Human Kite: Now what's up!?

(They see the van driving fast towards the mansion)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Oh great, more reinforcements!

Sam/Sir Justice: No, wait! (He looks in the drivers' seat to find Cartman driving the van) It's Cartman!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Cartman's driving that van?!

Kyle/Human Kite: That son of a bitch.

Cartman/Coon: (Driving the van) Coming through! Beep, beep, bitch!

(He runs over any of Marlowe's henchmen that lay in his path and he crashes into the front door. The van is wedged in the front door, blocking it. There are three henchmen that see this as they are about to leave and fight outside)

Henchman #16: What the hell?

Cartman/Coon: (Jumps through the windshield and takes out his cleaver) Rodent's Cleaver! (He beheads one of the henchmen as the other two whip out their guns. Before they have a chance to fire, Cartman beheads them too) Too easy!

Henchman #17: Hey, Coonskin! (Cartman turns to face the henchmen that stands at the end of the hallway. He has a sniper rifle at the ready)

Cartman/Coon: (In a mocking tone) Oh dear, a sniper rifle! Help me! If only I had a totally awesome weapon to counteract it! (Normal tone) Oh wait I totally have an awesome weapon that can counteract it! (He takes out an RPG and fires it at the henchman, killing him)

(Cartman then goes back to the van, opens the rear doors and says…)

Cartman/Coon: Everyone, we have a way in! Get your asses in here!

Sam/Sir Justice: Cartman, you are the man!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Come on everyone, let's go!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Some of us will stay out here and take care of the rest of these minions. The rest is going to be up to you guys.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I'll go in with you guys.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks Apollo.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I don't need your thanks. And I'm not joining you guys because I'm worried about your safety in the mansion. I'm only joining you guys because you need my help.

Sam/Sir Justice: Whatever, dude.

Sophocles: What are we waiting for? Let's go save, Doug!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I'm with you, uncle!

Sam/Sir Justice: Time to storm the mansion! We'll have Mr. Testaburger back in no time!

(The following people enter the mansion: Cartman, Apollo, Sam, Wendy, Cody, Sophocles, Alex Slave, Jeffrey, Bebe, Craig, Kevin, Tweek, and Leon. These 13 will be the ones to face off against Marlowe…here's to hoping that they emerge successful)

(Meanwhile, inside the mansion, Kelly emerges from an air vent and enters a hallway)

Kelly: This Marlowe lady and Mr. Testaburger should be around here somewhere. (She starts to walk down the hallway) If I had to guess, they'd be somewhere in the living room, or heaven forbid…the master bedroom. Wherever he is though, I have to save Mr. Testaburger, and put Marlowe in her place! I don't know how I do it, as long as Sam falls in love with me in the end (Sigh and blush) Sammy…

(As Kelly turns a corner, she bumps into someone…it's Marlowe)

Marlowe: Are you lost, young lady?

Kelly: (Gasps and turns around to runaway…but a brainwashed Doug/Cerulean Viper is right behind her) Hey…Mr. Testaburger…what's happening? (She stares at him in his lifeless eyes) Did you get new contact lenses?

Marlowe: Douglas, apprehend this intruder!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Yes, Master Marlowe…

(Doug hauls Kelly over his shoulders)

Kelly: (As Doug is carrying her away) Hey! Mr. Testaburger, what's wrong with you?! Put me down! Help! Somebody! You're all going to be hearing from my lawyer! Stop it now! Cut it out!

Marlowe: (Laughs evilly as she watches Doug carry Kelly away somewhere) I'm ready for you Saints, do your worst!

 **TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3…**


	15. Teacher's Pet (Part 3)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 14: Teacher's Pet (Part 3)

(This part of the episode picks up where the last one left off: With a brainwashed Doug/Cerulean Viper throwing Kelly into a cage and locking it. They appear to be in some kind of large closet)

Kelly: Mr. Testaburger, can you hear me? It's me, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin! I'm one of your daughters' friends! Why the hell are you locking me up!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You are an intruder and allied with the South Park Saints. I must lock you up. Now just stay there. Ms. Marlowe and I will deal with you later (Begins to leave).

Kelly: Hey, come back here! Stop! Let me out! Are you even listening?! Mr. Testaburger, please!?

(Doug just keeps walking and closes the closet door behind him. It's at that moment when Ms. Marlowe walks up to him)

Marlowe: So, Douglas, did you take care of our little problem?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Yes, Master Marlowe.

Marlowe: (Hugs him) Yes, Douglas. That's a good boy. My teacher's pet!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (9 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, and Ms. Penelope Marlowe). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut back to the outside, where the South Park Saints that aren't inside the mansion, are still fighting off Marlowe's forces)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Keep fighting, gang! Give them hell! Moonshine Beam! (Fires a blue beam at a small group of henchmen)

(In the skies, some henchmen are trying to shoot down Clyde, Annie, Butters, and Kyle, but they dodge the bullets skillfully)

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Mob: Bug Bullets! (Fires bullets from a gun at the minions)

Annie/Darling Dame: Butterfly's Maelstrom! (Fires rainbow colored beams from her wings at the minions)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Spear! (Tosses a spear made of lightning at the minions)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires a harpoon from the top of his kite and impales one of the minions)

(Cut back to the Saints on ground level)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Gets bullet happy with her new gun as she fires at a bunch of henchmen) That's right, get no-scoped! GET NO-SCOPED! (As Heidi is shooting, a random minion with a machete is about to slash at her from behind)

Stan/Tool Shed: Heidi, look out! Hammer Cannon! (Fires an energy blast from the face of his hammer and hits the minion with the machete)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Hey, hey, you saved me Stan, meow! (Hugs him)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Blushes) Anytime.

(Cut to Kenny and Maria, who are hiding behind one of the fences, taking an occasional moment to fire attacks)

Kenny/Mysterion: Oddity Grenade! (Tosses a grenade over the fence and it blows up) What the hell is taking those guys so long!? They should be back by now!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Be patient, Kenny. They've only been in there for 15 minutes and it's a big mansion! Tell you what, I'll try and get in contact with them using my power!

Kenny/Mysterion: Great! (Takes out ray gun) I'll try and fight off some of these goons while you do that!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Perfect! (She tries to get in contact with the Saints that are inside the mansion)

(With Sam and his party inside the mansion, they are wandering the halls trying to find Doug and Marlowe. Wendy is leading the way)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Looks at a painting of Marlowe) Uh, didn't we pass that painting of Marlowe before?

Sophocles: It looks like it.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Uh, Wendy, not that I'm doubting you…but I think we're lost.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I know where we're going! (Thinks for a while) Wait, no I don't! You're right! We're lost! This sucks! (She punches a wall) For all I know my father is probably dead right now!

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm sure he's fine, Wen-Wen. Just calm down.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Snaps) Don't tell me to calm down! It's not _your_ father that's been kidnapped!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets scared) Uh, I'm sorry, sweetie. I just…I…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sighs) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm just really stressed out about all of this.

Sam/Sir Justice: I understand. Believe me, I'm just as worried as you are. We are all just as nervous as you are.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: And being lost in this maze of a mansion doesn't exactly help.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Hello, can you guys hear me?_

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Hey, is that Maria?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Sister, is that you?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _(Sarcastically) No, it's Betty White. Of course it's me! (Normal tone) So where are you guys?_

Craig/DJ C-Rage: We're trying to figure that out now.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _So I guess you guys are lost?_

Kevin: Yeah. It seems that way.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _I see. Apollo, you remember what Mr. Testaburger looks like, right?_

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yes.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Try searching for him using your powers._

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Alright. I'll try. (He closes his eyes and he sees Doug in the inner sanctum of the mansion) I found him!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Where is he!?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: If I had to guess I'd say he's in the mansion's inner sanctum! We should go there!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress & Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, Apollo! (They both hug Apollo, causing him to blush and look confused, having not known love like this)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Uh…I'm glad to be of help.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: What's wrong, Apollo? You look shy. Never been hugged before?

(Wendy and Sam release their hug on Apollo)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Not really. My father always told me that happiness, friendship, and love were all signs of weakness. And yet, you all show these three things, but manage to overcome adversity. Plus, in the past couple of hours, you've all made me laugh and showed me love. And, I can't believe I'm saying this, maybe someday…we can…become friends. Just don't go telling anybody else about this or I will not hesitate in beating you all senseless, got it?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: (Gives thumbs up) Message received, good buddy

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Uses his powers to get back in contact with Maria) Sis, we're heading for the mansion's inner sanctum!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Perfect! Once things start to thin out here some of us will go in and help you out._

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Come on everyone, we're losing precious time!

Sam/Sir Justice: Right behind you, honey!

(Sam and Wendy run down the hallway, but they then pass a statue of Marlowe which starts to glow and an alarm goes off. The two teens turn towards the statue with scared expressions on their faces)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Gah! What's happening!?

(Some of Marlowe's henchmen appear down the hallway in front of them)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Oh, Jesus! We've got some mooks right in front of us!

Sophocles: (Sees more henchmen appear behind them) And some more right behind us!

(There are about 50 minions in all)

Kevin: They don't look so tough!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Let's see what you ruffians have in store!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Maria, we'll talk to you later. Because right now, it's time to take out the trash! (Shuts his powers off to take on Marlowe's men)

(Back outside, Maria begins to worry about her brother and comrades)

Kenny/Mysterion: What's the word?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I think they're in trouble!

Kenny/Mysterion: What kind of trouble?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: I think they encountered more of Marlowe's minions! They need help! (She calls out) Hey, Ursula, Red!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Yeah!

Red/Madame Knight: What's up?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Apollo and our friends are in trouble! Can you two rush in there and help out?

Red/Madame Knight: No problem! We're on it!

(The two girls charge ahead and run through the crashed van blocking the entrance and enter the mansion. As that's going on, Mephesto is watching his Bearcupine utterly destroy a mob of guards with his quills, claws, and teeth)

Mephesto: That's it, Bearcupine! Keep up the pressure!

(Unbeknownst to Mephesto, a henchman that's bleeding out has enough energy to grab his gun and take aim at him)

Henchman #1: Nighty night, grandpa!

(The Bearcupine notices this and jumps in front of Mephesto. The Bearcupine takes the shot right between the eyes and falls to the ground)

Mephesto: Bearcupine, no! (Looks at the dying guard who is laughing) You!

Millie: (Rushes to Mephesto's aide) Courageous Spear Gun! (She fires the spear gun and hits the guard right in the forehead, killing him)

Mephesto: (Looks down at the dying Bearcupine) My Bearcupine…thank you. I'll never forget you. Rest well, my prince, you'll be with me always. (The Bearcupine closes its eyes as it draws its last breath when Kurt comes up to him and Millie)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: I knew that thing was going to die.

Millie: Yeah…oh well nothing lasts forever. Let's get back to fighting!

Mephesto: What about me?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes the gun from the dead guard and gives it to Mephesto) Ever used one of these before?

Mephesto: No, not recently anyway.

Millie: Well then you better learn fast, doc! (Kurt and Millie go back to fighting as Mephesto just stares at the gun that was given to him)

(Back inside the mansion, Sam and his team are fighting off Marlowe's men decently well)

(Fight #1: Cody and Bebe are up against 10 henchmen)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Blade Storm! (Throws a bunch of blades from her bag and impales 9 of the 10 minions. The remaining minion lets out a sigh of relief when…)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Virtuous Katana! (He beheads the last minion)

(Fight #2: Sophocles vs. 5 henchmen)

Henchman #2: Kill him! (The henchmen charge at him)

Sophocles: (Dodges the attacks) Paralysis Pummel! (He hits the five henchmen's pressure points and they fall to the ground paralyzed. He turns to Cody and Bebe and says…) See you two, you don't always have to kill someone to defeat them.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: It's an action fanfic. What do you expect, kittens and rainbows?

(Fight #3: Tweek and Craig vs. 10 henchmen)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Pom-Pom Wrap! (The ribbons on the pom-poms wrap the 10 henchmen up)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Has his boom box turn into armored hands) Boom Bop! (He punches the 10 henchmen hard and knocks them unconscious)

(Fight #4: Kevin and Cartman vs. 5 henchmen)

Henchman #3: (Looks at Kevin) Let's cook up some Hasenpfeffer!

Henchman #4: I'm with you! (The two henchman charge at Kevin)

Kevin: You want to cook me?! But I'm so unhealthy for you since I'm _fast food_! (Quickly jumps in the air to avoid attack) Not to mention my flavor has an awful _kick_! (He kicks the two guards unconscious when he comes back down) Plus a very painful aftertaste that's sure to leave you all sore. (Kevin sees the other three guards point guns at him)

Cartman/Coon: Rodent's Cleaver! (He beheads two of the guards and the last one points his gun at him, causing Cartman to whip out his RPG. He grins and calls out…) Raccoon Rocket! (Fires the RPG and the rocket sends the minion flying across the hallway. He hits the wall and ends up unconscious) He's going to be feeling that one in the morning.

(Fight #5: Jeffrey and Mr. Slave vs. 5 henchmen)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Ravenous Rapier! (He impales one of the henchmen in the chest with his rapier and kills him)

Henchman #5: (Appears behind him and takes out his machete) You're going down old man!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: En garde! (The two engage themselves in a sword duel. They clash blades a few times before entering a struggle. It's at this moment another guard with a machete tries to stab Jeffrey in the back)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Oh Jesus! Chainsaw Blaster! (The gun on his chainsaw fires a bullet right through the minion's head before he has a chance to even touch Jeffrey)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Thanks, Alex. (Pushes away the minion he was in a struggle with) Take this! (Stabs him through the throat, killing him. Now there are two minions remaining. The two minions look nervous) Mighty Musket!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Blaster! (The two attacks hit the two minions, killing them).

(Fight #6: Sam, Wendy, Apollo, and Leon vs the remaining 15 henchmen)

(The four teens are getting approached by the 15 minions)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Tigress Trap! (Spouts of flames come from the knuckle of her boxing gloves, and they surround the henchmen) Okay boys, they're all yours.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks, hon! (Sam, Apollo, and Leon jump through the flames to face the henchmen) Bebe's Bullets! (Fires bullets from his guns at five minions, killing them)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Claw Launcher! (Fires the claws on his pelt and kills the five minions he hits)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psycho Arrow! (Fires blue arrows made of psychic energy and nails two of the last five minions in the throat, killing them. The last three fire their guns at him and Apollo just teleports away)

Henchman #6: Where did he go?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I wouldn't look up if I were you. (The three minions look up to Find Apollo just sitting on a chandelier that's above them) What did I just say? (A sword materializes in his hand. He slashes the chain holding the chandelier up, teleports outside of Wendy's fire wall, and the chandelier falls on the last three henchmen, either killing them or knocking them unconscious)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Stops her fire wall) Wow, we did it!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: That's because we used the real superpower of team…

Cartman/Coon: NO! Tweek, we are not using that Sonic Heroes quote! Stop beating a dead horse!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Depressed) Okay…

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Hey guys, what are we going to do about the paralyzed minions that are still alive?

Sophocles: What do you mean?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: I mean, they're not dead or unconscious, they can still talk. If they scream or yell loud enough, more reinforcements will come for us.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Don't worry. I got this. (Takes some seeds out of his bag) Sleepy Seeds! (Throws them at the paralyzed guards)

Henchman #2: Hey…what did you…(Snore)

(The paralyzed henchmen are asleep)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Well, that takes care of that.

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, everyone, over here!

(Everyone looks to see Sam at the end of the hallway. They follow him and they see a huge gilded door)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: What a door!

Kevin: You think that door leads to the mansion's inner sanctum?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Only one way to find out.

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go everyone! But be very quiet and be very careful. Marlowe is definitely expecting us.

(The 13 Saints quietly walk down the hall, awaiting for the fight at hand. They eventually make it to the door and Sam holds out three fingers…then two…then one. When the last finger disappears, the 13 Saints bust the door open and take out their weapons ready to fight)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Freeze!

(Everyone lowers their weapons at what they see…Marlowe in the center of the sanctum just sitting on a big red cushioned chair, sipping on tea. The room itself has wooden walls, four windows at each of the corners, a white marble floor, and a white marble fireplace with a fire burning inside it)

Marlowe: Ah, my guests have arrived.

Cartman/Coon: Okay, what's happening here?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Is that Marlowe?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yup. That's her!

Marlowe: Please, saints, you've come all of this way. Have a seat and let me get you lot something to drink. What do you want: Water, tea, soda, juice, wine, spiders, milk…

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Did she just say spiders?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yup. I think this might be another attempt for the writer to include an Undertale reference in this story.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I don't care what she's trying to do! I only came for one thing and one thing only!

Marlowe: You mean you're not tired after dealing with my minions.

Sam/Sir Justice: Not at all. We have plenty of energy to burn!

Marlowe: (Holds up a plate with a slice of cake on it) Can't I interest you all in a slice of cake? (Sam just shoots the cake off of the plate with his guns) I guess not.

Sam/Sir Justice: We're not here for cake, we're not here for tea, and we're certainly not here for spiders! We've come for Mr. Testaburger!

Marlowe: (Pretends to act innocent) Who?

Sam/Sir Justice: Don't get cute with us! You know _exactly_ who we're talking about!

Marlowe: (Continues the act) No, I really don't.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Look, you old windbag! I'm only going to ask you this once and only once: Where is my father!

Marlowe: Oh, you mean Douglas. Why didn't you just say so? (Gets up and walks away from the table) Okay, I'll give him back to you. But he's certainly changed a lot since you last saw him.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Quit stalling and give him to us, now!

Marlowe: Say the magic words!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Whips out his lightsaber) Give Mr. Testaburger to us now or your limbs are getting cut clean the fuck off!

Marlowe: Oh fine. I guess I can't teach manners to a bunch of brats like you. (Calls up to the ceiling) Oh Douglas!

(The South Park Saints look up and they see Doug jump down from the chandelier on the ceiling and land on the table breaking it. He lands on his feet and he stares at our heroes with his lifeless eyes)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Hello…

Cartman/Coon: No freaking way!

Sam/Sir Justice: Is that Mr. Testaburger!?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: My God! Father, what has she done to you?!

(We then cut to Red and Ursula running through the halls of the mansion…and they are completely lost)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Okay, whoever this Marlowe lady hired to build this place needs to get fired immediately because holy shit I don't know where we are anymore!

Red/Madame Knight: Every hallway looks the same. It's hard to tell each one apart from the other.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Just our luck! Our friends need our help, and we can't even find them. (Suddenly, Ursula hears something)

Kelly: (From inside the closet) Help! Help me! Help!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: What was that?

Red/Madame Knight: It's coming from down that hallway!

(The two girls run to the sound of the cries, and get to the door that it's coming from. Red and Ursula take out their blades and bash the door in. The two girls are shocked to find Kelly in a cage)

Kelly: Oh thank God! Red, Ursula, you two found me!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Aw man, it's that Kelly Ruther-Whatever her name is.

Red/Madame Knight: Kelly, how did you get here?

Kelly: I stowed away on the cargo plane and followed you guys. I figured if I saved Mr. Testaburger, Sam would realize that I'm a much better girl for him than Wendy. Turns out I bit off _way_ more than I could chew. Anyway, can you two let me out of here?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Sure thing! (She takes out a bobby pin from her kimono)

Red/Madame Knight: You actually carry around a bobby pin, sweetie?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Don't judge me. (She uses the bobby pin to pick the lock and set Kelly free)

Kelly: Oh, thank you so much! (She hugs them both for a bit and then releases them) So what are you two doing here?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: We're trying to find our friends so we can help them fight off Marlowe. A task that turns out to be a lot harder than anticipated. But more important than that, we have to get you out of here. (Turns to Red) My red rose, can you get Kelly to safety while I look for Sam and company?

Red/Madame Knight: You got it, sweetie. But, will you be okay on your own?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: I'll be fine. Just worry about getting Kelly out of here.

Red/Madame Knight: Okay, I trust you.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: I'll meet you outside. Wish me luck! (Ursula runs down the hallway and Red leaves with Kelly, hoping to find an exit)

(We cut back to the mansion's inner sanctum)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: What have you done to Doug, Marlowe?

Marlowe: Isn't it obvious? I just read a recipe for a brainwashing pill, created said pill, and fed it to Douglas over here.

Sam/Sir Justice: Why, Marlowe? Why did you do this!?

Marlowe: I did it so I could have an extra edge for my assault on New Orleans.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: What are you talking about? What assault?

Marlowe: No doubt you came across some of my vehicles. You know the helicopters, the vans, the tanks. Well, unlike the other four advocates that you defeated before me, I haven't even started on my blood harvest. That's because I wanted to wait until I had an army and an armory big enough to take New Orleans by storm. The final piece of my puzzle was Douglas. When I heard that he was a part of your team, I took it upon myself to figure out what his skills were. You know, to see if he met my criteria. Sure enough, he does, and now he works for me. I'd say that we're all set to raid New Orleans and take the citizens' blood for Damien, but first I had to wipe out you lot in case you tried to stop us. That's why I wasn't reluctant to invite you to my island. But to my surprise, you all managed to breeze through my minions with little to no problems. And here we are now.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: So let me get this straight. You hired a huge army, obtained a shitload of vehicles somehow, kidnapped my father and brainwashed him, all so you can raid a city! And for what, more blood!?

Marlowe: Precisely. Maybe I'll even destroy the city. You know, burn it to the ground, make sure there are little to no survivors, all of that.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wow! You are probably the most evil advocate we've face so far!

Sam/Sir Justice: At least the last four we faced didn't want to lay waste to an entire city.

Marlowe: You lot just don't see the bigger picture. When Damien gets revived, he's going to destroy the entire world and rebuild it from the ground up. So it doesn't matter if I destroy the New Orleans now or Damien destroys the city later, it'll still be destroyed along with all of the other cities of the world.

Sam/Sir Justice: She needs to be stopped, and it looks like we're going to be the ones to do so!

(Lightsaber in hand Sam charges at Ms. Marlowe, who jumps in the air and dodges the attack, and lands near the doorway)

Sam/Sir Justice: For an old hag you sure do move quickly.

Marlowe: I'd love to stay and chat with you all, but I have to regroup and revamp my plan. I'm sure Douglas would love to play with you all though. Farewell! (She leaves)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, get back here!

(Sam attempts to chase after her, but he feels a hand get placed on his shoulder…it's Doug)

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Testaburger! It's me, Sam! Remember?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Sam…No, you're the enemy! Freezing Fist!

(He hits Sam with his attack, and sends him falling to the floor. Wendy rushes to him and picks him up)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Sam, are you okay?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, just peachy. But Marlowe is getting away.

Sophocles: Don't worry about it. Jeffrey, Bebe, Cody, Kevin, Leon, and I will track her down. The rest of you just worry about Doug.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks, Sophocles. Be careful though.

Sophocles: No promises! (The six Saints leave the sanctum and go after Marlowe leaving the other seven to deal with Doug)

Sam/Sir Justice: So what do we do now?

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: As much as it pains me to say this, I think we're going to have to fight him.

Sam/Sir Justice: I was afraid of that.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: It doesn't look like we have any other options. Maybe with any luck, we can knock some sense back into him!

Cartman/Coon: Let's do it! (He charges first and jumps in the air) Raccoon Slam! (Before Cartman could even slam down on him, Doug grabs him by the leg and tosses him into a wall)

Sam/Sir Justice: Holy shit! Cartman!

Cartman/Coon: Don't worry about me! Focus on Mr. Testaburger!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: On it! (Faces Doug) Sorry, Mr. T, but this is for your own good! Pom-Pom Wrap! (The ribbons on his pom-poms wrap Doug up) Craig! Help me out!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: You got it! (His boom box turns into arm cannons) My Decibel Destroyer attack is charging up as we speak!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Perfect!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Here we go! FIRE! (He fires a powerful blast from his arm cannons, but before the attack could reach him…)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: This…won't…hold me!

(Using his strength, Doug breaks free from Tweek's pom-poms and dodges out of the way of Craig's attack. He jumps in front of the two boys. Tweek and Craig look visibly frightened)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Furious Flurry! (He unleashes a barrage of icy punches on the two boys before kicking them both into a wall) Next…

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psycho Bomb! (He fires a bomb made up of blue psychic energy and it hits Doug, sending him back a bit)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Why you little! Viper's Cold Reception! (He fires an icy blast but Apollo teleports away) Now where did you go?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Appears above him and forms a blue sword made of psychic energy) Psychic Slash!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Dodges quickly and grabs Apollo by the neck with his left hand when he lands)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Put me down!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You need to chill out! (Using his glove, Apollo slowly starts to get covered in ice: Starting from the area of the neck where he's holding him and working its way up to his head and down to his torso)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Someone…please…help me!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Oh Jesus! Chainsaw Slash! (He charges with his chainsaw, but Doug uses his right hand to block it…and the chainsaw starts to freeze over too!) Jesus Christ!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Now _this_ is the true meaning of a cold reception!

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast! (He fires his attack at Doug and he releases Apollo and Alex Slave's chainsaw when it hit him) I'm sorry, Mr. Testaburger, but you left me no choice! I have to take you down!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Bring it on little man.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam, please don't do this.

Sam/Sir Justice: We don't have much of a choice, Wendy. I'm sorry…(Charges at Doug) But this has to be done! (He punches him in the face) Justice Roundhouse! (He roundhouse kicks Doug in the stomach and he falls on his knees only to get back up three seconds later) Still have some fight left in you I see? (He charges again ready to bunch) Fist of…

(Doug stops the attack by grabbing his fist)

Sam/Sir Justice: Aw shit. (Sam starts to freeze over, with ice creeping up his arm) OH SHIT! Let me go, Mr. Testaburger! Please, it's me Sam! You've got to remember me!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I remember you. You're the enemy, wanting to foil my master's plans! I can't let you do that!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Looks up at Doug and Sam) Shit…Sam!

Sam/Sir Justice: Someone help me!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I think Ms. Marlowe would love to have an ice sculpture of the South Park Saints' leader here in her sanctum.

Sam/Sir Justice: No! Let me go! Mr. Testaburger, I know the real you is still in there. You've got to fight whatever has overcome you!

(Doug just stares at Sam as the ice has completely covered his arm and is now making its way to the rest of his body)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Goodbye Sam.

(Sam shuts his eyes as he waits for the ice to completely envelop him. But then…)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: NO! (She pushes her father to the ground, resulting in him releasing Sam)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Gets back up) Wendy, my child…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I don't care if you're brainwashed! I won't have you hurting Sam!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I must…for Marlowe!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Dad! Do you hear yourself! Ms. Marlowe has brainwashed you! You've got to break whatever it is that's got a hold on you! And if beating you down is the only way to do so…I guess I have no choice.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Come on then!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a fireball from her gloves, and Doug dodges by jumping over Wendy and landing right behind her)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: My daughter, you need to be punished! Furious Flurry! (He charges at her)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wildfire Smack Down! (She charges at him)

(Doug and Wendy trade a series of blows, icy and fiery, they stop to try and make another attack on each other)

Doug/Cerulean Viper & Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Raging Kick!

(They both kick each other in the face and push each other back)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You've been a bad girl, my child. But now it's going to come to an end! (And icy wind that's coming from his gloves envelops him)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Dad, please hear me! Remember who we are, not your enemies, but your friends, your family! (Flames that are coming from her gloves envelop her, but doesn't hurt her) Inferno Tackle! (She flies at him in a fireball)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Blizzard Bash! (He charges at her in an iceball)

(The two fighters collide and try to push each other back, but when push comes to shove, Doug is stronger and he overpowers Wendy, knocking her to the ground. Doug gets back on his feet and walks over to Wendy, and picks her up by her sides)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You won't be a thorn in Marlowe's side anymore. I doubt that I can freeze you on account of those fiery gloves you have, but I can always improvise.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks over at the two) Wendy…Mr. Testaburger, please stop!

(Doug doesn't listen as he just keeps staring up at his daughter unsure of what to do with her)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Looks down at Doug with sorrow on her face) Please…find it in your heart who you really are. You're not some plaything that Marlowe can use. You're a hero, an upstanding member of the South Park Saints, and above all else, you're my father.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Blinks a few times as it something is finally getting through to him) W-Wendy….no….enemy!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Begins to tear up) Daddy, please listen to me. Remember who you are…remember who we are: Your friends, your family.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: F-Friends….F-Family…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: At least remember me…please…

(A tear falls from Wendy's eye and it lands on Doug's forehead. Doug gasps as if he's remembering something. He then gets hoards of memories. These memories include: Wendy's birth, Wendy's first day of school, A family vacation to Disney World, Doug first meeting Sam, Doug holding Wendy in his arms after Justin hit her, Doug teaching Sam how to play darts, The Saints' victory in the graveyard, Wendy's Sweet 16 party, and Doug on Death T.V fighting against Paris Hilton)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Gets life back in his eyes. He's back to normal) Wendy? (He lowers Wendy down and puts her back on the ground)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Smiles) Hi dad. (She and Doug hug)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Laughs with joy, happy that Doug is back)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Phew! Glad that nightmare's over.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Call me crazy for saying this, but I think all it took for Doug to go back to his old self was love. The kind of love that only a daughter can give.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Yeah…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I missed you, dad.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: It's okay, I'm here now. I don't know what happened, but if I did anything to hurt you all, I'm sorry.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Well you did freeze me, Sam, and Mr. Slave's chainsaw.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I'll defrost you all right now. (All Wendy does is place her warm gloves on the ice, and that causes it to melt)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: So, last I remember I was at Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse with Marlowe, but then everything gets foggy after that.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well get ready for this when I tell you that Ms. Marlowe brainwashed you. She apparently used some kind of pill.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: That would explain why I felt weird after I finished my coffee! Marlowe must have drugged it! I don't understand. I thought she was nicer than that.

Cartman/Coon: Yeah, well she's not! We need to track her down and teach her a lesson!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: We've sent Cody, Sophocles, Bebe, Mr. Stevens, Kevin, and Leon after her. She said something about making an escape.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Then let's go find her! She couldn't have gotten far!

(With Doug back on the team, the eight saints leave the inner sanctum and leave in the direction Marlowe ran off to. They make it to one of the hallways, and it's at this moment they see Cody, Bebe, Sophocles, Jeffrey, Leon, and Kevin, with his rabbit DNA now worn off, laying on the floor beaten up)

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh no! (Sam and his group run up to the group of six) Are you guys alright?!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Augh. We tried…to stop her. But she was too strong.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: That old hag is a lot tougher than she looks.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I can't believe we lost to an old lady. I feel very inadequate.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm just glad you guys are okay.

(Suddenly, they hear footsteps)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Someone is coming! Get ready to fight everyone! (He as well as everyone else in his group get up and get ready to fight)

(The footsteps are coming from Ursula who finally finds our heroes)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Thank goodness you guys are okay.

Sam/Sir Justice: Ursula!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Hey, Sam! (She sees Doug) I see that Mr. Testaburger is okay.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, Marlowe brainwashed him, but he's fine now. What are you doing here?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Red and I were sent in here as backup. But we found Kelly instead.

Sam/Sir Justice: What?! Kelly is here?

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Yeah. I told Red to escort her out of here

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Red is here too?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Yes, dad, all of the Saints are here. They're all fighting outside.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Hello, can you all hear me? What's the status report?_

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Maria?! We got Mr. Testaburger back! Now we're trying to go after Marlowe!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Well I just saw a figure wearing a silver dress and carrying a silver parasol walk out onto the roof._

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Yup, that's Marlowe.

Sam/Sir Justice: Marlowe is up on the roof, eh? Then that's where we'll go!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I do remember seeing a helipad on the roof. Marlowe is probably waiting for a helicopter as a means of escape! We've got to stop her!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: When Marlowe ran off after she beat us, I heard the sound of an elevator down the hall. I bet that elevator takes you right to the roof.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Okay, let's do it! Wendy, Sam, you two are coming with me. We're taking Marlowe on together!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Hey, what about us?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You guys head back outside and see if the rest of the team needs you. The three of us will be fine on our own.

Sophocles: Alright, good luck, but be careful!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Uses his powers to get in contact with Maria) Maria, if you see anyone like Clyde, Kyle, Butters, or Annie, tell them to be on the lookout for a helicopter, and when they see it, do whatever it takes to get rid of it!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: _Roger that!_

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Good luck you guys, we're all counting on you. Like I said, even though we're all far from being friends, nothing would make me happier than to see another one of these advocates bite the dust. So go kick some ass!

Sam/Sir Justice: Can do, Apollo! Let's go you two! (With that, Sam, Wendy, and Doug run down the hall to find the elevator)

(Outside on the helipad, Marlowe is waiting for a helicopter to come)

Marlowe: Where the hell is Lenny? If I have to wait another minute, I might just have to find a new pilot.

(Suddenly she hears the elevator door open behind her and when it opens…)

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast!

(Marlowe dodges out of the way of Sam's attack. Sam, Doug, and Wendy walk out of the elevator)

Sam/Sir Justice: It's the end of the road, Marlowe, surrender!

(It's at this moment when the helicopter finally arrives. It gets ready to land)

Marlowe: So sorry, but I think my ride is here.

Kyle/Human Kite: Sorry, but I think that ride's for us! (He, Clyde, Annie, and Butters appear out of nowhere) Destroy that helicopter! 1,000 Degree Stare!

Annie/Darling Dame: Butterfly Maelstrom!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Electro Ball!

Clyde/Mosquito: Mosquito Mob: Lazer League.

(The four attacks hit he helicopter and it explodes. Lenny, the pilot, jumps out of the helicopter before it does though)

Marlowe: I'll put you four in your place! (She takes out a pistol) Wind Pistol!

(She fires a strong gust of wind at the four saints, but the dodge out of the way)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Sam, Wendy, Mr. Testaburger, we took care of the helicopter like Maria said we should. Now take out Marlowe! (Butters and the three saints that helped him fly back to ground level)

Sam/Sir Justice: You know we will!

Marlowe: I guess there is no escaping you insolent fools. (Looks over at Doug) And looking over at Douglas, I'd say that you managed to revert him back to normal.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's right.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Why'd you do it?

Marlowe: So I could invade New Orleans and harvest the citizens blood, of course.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I don't care about that. I want to know why you've been doing all of these evil things!

Marlowe: Okay, I'll tell you. By now I'm sure you all know that I'm the fifth advocate and why I became one, let me explain…

(Flashback time)

(Flashback #1: Marlowe appears to be much younger and she's working in an elementary school as a teacher's aide)

Marlowe (v.o): A long time ago, there was a young 20-something year old teacher's aide. Let's call her…Penelope Marlowe. It was her dream to be a real teacher with a classroom of her own. She knew she was smart enough to be a teacher. But for whatever reason, her bosses thought she was perfect as a teacher's aide.

(Flashback #2: Marlowe is at her house, not at Grand Isle, but rather a normal suburban home, just laying down and looking up at the ceiling. She says something to herself and Satan appears)

Marlowe (v.o): One night though, everything changed. I simply said something along the lines of, "I'd sell my soul to be a teacher." Upon saying that a big red man with horns appeared to me: It was Satan. He told me that he'd make me the best teacher in Colorado, all I had to do was return a favor when, or if, the time came.

Sam/Sir Justice (v.o): I imagine that favor is the blood harvest?

Marlowe (v.o): Precisely.

(Flashback #3: Marlowe is in her own classroom and we see her over the years at Fort Collins High School, teaching a bunch of students literature, one of which is a teenage version of Doug)

Marlowe (v.o): 40 years have passed, and life was good. Nothing brought me more joy than teaching my students about the importance of literature.

(Flashback #4: Marlowe is looking into the bathroom mirror of her home because she's getting a call from Satan. His astral projection is in the mirror. Her wind pistol and parasol magically appear in the bathroom when Satan snaps his fingers)

Marlowe (v.o): But then one day, sometime eight years ago, I got a call from Satan. He said that his son Damien was imprisoned by you lot, and he needed me to harvest the blood to revive him. It was also at this time he gave me my parasol and wind pistol. But I needed more than just that if I wanted to revive Damien.

(Flashback #5: Marlowe is holding auditions for members of her army in the backyard of her home)

Marlowe (v.o): I had to hire an army to do my dirty work. I told them that I'd take care of them and feed them, house them, clothe them, in exchange for their undying loyalty.

(Flashback #6: Grand Isle is a populated area with a bunch of citizens walking around. But them Marlowe and her army came to threw them all out)

Marlowe (v.o): I then needed a home base where I could formulate my plans. And Grand Isle seemed to be the perfect place. So me and my army went over there and ran those fools out! We did whatever we had to, blow up a few buildings, shoot and kill a few people, but we ran them all out of the island and they never came back. The island was our now!

(Flashback #7: From there, Marlowe and her army are using any scrap metal they find to build the vans, helicopters, planes, and tanks. We then see Marlowe standing in her new mansion's inner sanctum)

Marlowe (v.o): There was a lot of scrap metal leftover from our raid, so we decided to build countless vehicles and weapons with it. So that's my story. I decided to reside here on this island for the rest of my days, and retired from my job as teacher so I could dedicate the rest of my life towards reviving Damien.

(Back to reality)

Marlowe: And I almost succeeded in my plans too! But then you all had to come along, revert Douglas back to normal, and take out a good portion of my army.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: So you're telling us that you ran a bunch of innocent people out of this island all for the sake of your plan. How callous can you get?

Marlowe: My intentions were pure, child.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, pure evil!

Marlowe: Enough of this prattle, it's at this moment where I'd like to end your lives. Your blood will make great sustenance for Damien.

 **(Cue All My Life from Gran Turismo 6)**

Doug/Cerulean Viper: We won't let you get away with what you've done, Ms. Marlowe. I used to respect you when I was a teenager, but now that respect is replaced with an undying rage. You'll pay for what you've done!

Marlowe: Let's see what you, your daughter, and her boyfriend have in store.

Sam/Sir Justice: What do we have in store? Why, the same thing we serve all of the other villains: A nice plate of whoop-ass pie with a side of bruised cream! Hope you're hungry!

Marlowe: Bring it on!

 **(Walk for a thousand miles down this road. I don't know what's taken me. I feel I must carry on so that I can justify my everything)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Speed Boots, activate! (He runs up quickly to Marlowe) Justice Jump Kick! (He kicks her with such force that it sends her flying a few feet)

Marlowe: Such zest, such bravado!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his lightsaber) Red's Blade!

(As Sam swings his lightsaber, Marlowe blocks it with her parasol and pushes him back)

Sam/Sir Justice: Whoa, what's that umbrella made of, adamantium?

Marlowe: Parasol Sniper! (She fires a blast of energy from the top of her parasol)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Blocks the attack with his wrist mounted shield. He's about to lower it when Marlowe comes charging at him fast)

Marlowe: Umbrella Whack!

 **(Past is what, past is what will be pass you. Be alright, be alright, cause I'll be me. Cause I know, cause I know that I'll prove myself. In the end I will be standing here)**

(Marlowe and Sam are in a struggle, trying to push one another back)

Sam/Sir Justice: Back off! You and your superpowered umbrella!

Marlowe: Give it up, boy!

(Suddenly, Doug and Wendy jump over Sam and get ready for their special attack)

Doug/Cerulean Viper & Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Father-Daughter Combo!

(They both hit Marlowe in the face with icy and fiery punches and she goes flying back)

Marlowe: So I guess my pill wore off after all, eh, Douglas?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Never underestimate the love a daughter has for her father!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: It's that same love that will crush you, Marlowe!

(Doug and Wendy's gloves engulf them in cold winds and flames respectively)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Inferno Tackle!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Blizzard Bash!

(They come at Marlowe, but…)

Marlowe: (Opens her parasol) Going up! (She flies up in the air, causing the attack to miss)

Sam/Sir Justice: No way! She can fly!?

 **(All my life, I've lived so wrong. This is a path I have to take. Can't go back to who I was. This is my time to break away)**

Marlowe: I'd love to see how well you fair while I'm in the air.

Sam/Sir Justice: Let me show you! (He opens his wingpack and flies up after her)

Marlowe: (Takes out her pistol) Wind Pistol! (Fires a strong gust of wind and it hits Sam, causing him to come crashing back to the roof)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Are you alright, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm fine, just focus on Marlowe!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress & Doug/Cerulean Viper: Alright!

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast! (Fires his attack upwards)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a fire ball)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception! (Fires an icy blast)

Marlowe: (Closes her umbrella for a bit and waves it) Glorious Gust!

(Upon waving her umbrella, the three attacks get sent back and hit our three heroes. Marlowe quickly opens her umbrella back up and continues to float in the air)

 **(Instrumentals)**

(Our three heroes get back up)

Sam/Sir Justice: I can see why those other guys had trouble with this old hag!

Marlowe: (Takes out her pistol and prepares to finish her opponents off) Well this is the end. It's been fun, but nothing last forever. But don't worry, a part of you three will still live on…inside Damien's circulatory system! Say goodbye!

(Suddenly Apollo teleports behind Marlowe)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sees Apollo) Actually, why don't you say hello to our newest member? (Points behind her)

 **(Past is what, past is what will be pass you. Be alright, be alright, cause I'll be me. Cause I know, cause I know that I'll prove myself. In the end I will be standing here)**

Marlowe: (Turns to see Apollo) What is this?!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: I'm the new saint in town, the Psychotic Plague! Now get ready, because this will only hurt a lot! (He uses psychic energy to create a giant fist made of blue energy) Take this, Scary Poppins!Psychotic Knuckle!

(He hits Marlowe hard and sends her flying back down to the roof)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: She's all yours, you three! Go to town on her!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Thanks, Apollo, we owe you one!

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's finish this old windbag off! (Turns to Wendy) Come along, darling.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Got it!

 **(All my life, I've lived so wrong. This is a path I have to take. Can't go back to who I was. This is my time to break away)**

(The two saints run up to Marlowe)

Sam/Sir Justice: Fist of Millie!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Flaming Knuckle!

(The two Saints get ready to punch Marlowe, but she uses her umbrella to block the attack. Wendy and Sam are too strong though and they push Marlowe back. She gets back up and aims her now closed parasol at our heroes)

Marlowe: Enough! This ends now! (She begins charging up her Parasol Sniper attack)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Steps up) Yes…Yes it does! (His gloves start to emit cold temperatures and Marlowe gets nervous) Viper's Cold Reception!

 **(Just break away from who I was! Just break away…from who I was)**

(Doug fires the attack and it hits Marlowe. Once the attack ceases, Marlowe is shown to be frozen from the neck down, unable to move)

 **(End song)**

Marlowe: (Shivering) C-Curse you, D-Douglas! I-I-I will g-get my r-r-revenge!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Yeah, we'll see about that.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks up at Apollo, who is still floating in the air using his powers) Thanks for the help Apollo.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Hey, you guys are my new teammates. It's the least I can do. Just don't get used to it, and also, this doesn't mean we're friends yet.

Sam/Sir Justice: Are we getting close to the friend level?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Sigh) Yes.

Sam/Sir Justice: Awesome sauce! (Turns to Marlowe) So what should we do with her?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Well, Marlowe's defenses thinned out quite a bit, by which I mean they ran away like a bunch of bitches. So Cody is calling New Orleans Police Department as we speak so they can try and arrest these guys. No doubt they'll find Marlowe up here too. So I'd leave her. She doesn't look like she's going anywhere anytime soon.

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh, true that!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Cody also said he called his pilot, Bernard, so he can fly us all back to South Park. So get your asses down here! Our job is done!

Sam/Sir Justice: At long last. And we still have enough time to celebrate your birthday, Mr. Testaburger.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Then let's get home! After all I've been through, I could go for some birthday cake and rocky road ice cream.

Marlowe: D-D-Don't mention i-i-ice in front of m-me!

(Doug, Wendy, Sam, and Apollo laugh as they head back to ground level)

(We cut to a few moments later when the New Orleans Police Department are arresting Marlowe, and a good amount of her underlings. There were quite a few that managed to get away, whether by helicopter or boat. Our heroes, now in their normal clothes, are leaving on Cody's private jet, looking at the island as the police take control, and as Marlowe's minions frantically escape)

Cody: (Looking out of the plane window) That's another advocate out of the way. Only three to go.

(Later in the flight, everyone is relaxing after the fight the exciting day they had. We cut to Doug, Sam, and Wendy, who is asleep with her head resting on her father's lap)

Doug: (Stroking his daughter's hair) Wendy must be tired.

Sam: I don't blame her. We've all had a long day today. Probably the biggest mission we've had up to this point. (Looks at Wendy) She worried a lot about you.

Doug: I can only imagine.

Sam: We were all worried about you, Mr. Testaburger. You're a good man, and if we didn't stop Marlowe…I don't even want to imagine what would happen.

Doug: Well you can rest easy knowing that I'm fine…son.

Sam: Did you just call me your son?

Doug: Like I said, I view you as one of my own. You really are like a second child to me. The way you and my daughter bonded over the years, the way you care enough about me to come all the way out to some island off the coast of Louisiana just to save me. I feel like these are the kind of things a son would do.

Sam: Thanks, Mr. Testaburger. I know you'd do the same for me.

Doug: I certainly would. And please, call me Doug.

Sam: Sure thing…Doug.

Doug: (Holds out his hand) You're a noble man, Samuel. Keep up the good work.

Sam: (Shakes Doug's hand) Thank you, Doug. You're a pretty cool guy yourself. (They release the handshake and Sam calls to Cody) Hey, Cody, do you have a sound system on this plane?

Cody: Why yes I do.

Sam: (Takes out a CD from his pocket) You think you can play this?

Cody: I don't see why not. (He takes the CD and puts it in a stereo system, and music comes out)

 **(Cue Father and Son by Cat Stevens)**

Doug: Oh my gosh, I love this song!

Sam: Glad to know. I was planning on singing this just for you at your birthday, today.

Doug: You're a cool guy, Sam, don't ever change.

Sam: (Smiles) Thanks, Doug.

 **(It's not time to make a change. Just relax, take it easy. You're still young, that's your fault. There's o much you have to know. Find a girl, settle down. If you want you can marry. Look at me, I'm old, but I'm happy)**

(Cut to Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Butters. Cartman is getting a little emotional listening to this song)

Cartman: (Walks up to his four friends) Hey, you guys remember when I served Scott Tenorman chili with his parents in it?

Kyle: Yeah. That was a new low.

Cartman: Well, when I learned that Jack Tenorman, Scott's father, was also my father, I couldn't help but feel a bit of remorse and regret.

Kenny: (Sarcastically) Cartman feeling remorse for his past actions!? The world must be ending.

Cartman: (Ignoring that comment) Not a day goes by when I wonder what I would've been like if I had someone like Jack as a father. And it got me thinking how lucky you four are to have fathers in your life. So, just do me a favor and when you see your fathers later…just hug them and tell them you love them. Hug them and never let them go.

(His four friends are shocked to see a sentimental side to Cartman)

Stan: Uh…okay, Cartman. We'll do that.

Cartman: I'm serious. You don't know what you four have until it's gone.

Butters: Sure, Eric, we'll hug our dads. We'll do it for you.

 **(I was once like you are now, and I know it's not easy to be calm when you've found something going on. But take your time, think a lot. Why, think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not)**

(Cut to Bebe and Jeffrey. She sees that Jeffrey is trying to fight back tears)

Bebe: Daddy, are you crying?

Jeffrey: Sorry, sweetie, I just get a little emotional whenever I hear this song. Makes me think of me and my father. He was such a good man, always taught me the right lessons, and always showed kindness. He died a few days before we learned your mother was pregnant with you. Not a day goes by where I wish he was by my side again.

Bebe: Grandpa sounds like a great man.

Jeffrey: He was. And you know what, call me crazy, but I like to think that a part of him lives on in you. I mean, you both have similar personalities, nice but a bit feisty when necessary, always socializing, always knew how to liven a party up.

Bebe: And of course, there's the sheer coincidence of when you learned that you were having me and when grandpa died at almost the same period of time.

Jeffrey: That's right. Come here. (He hugs her warmly) I love you, Bebe. You're the greatest accomplishment that I've ever achieved.

Bebe: Thanks daddy. I love you too.

 **(How can I try to explain. Cause when I do he turns away again. It's always been the same, same old story. From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen. Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away. I know I have to go)**

(Cut to Kurt and Annie who are just sitting, Kurt lost in thought)

Kurt: Hey, Annie.

Annie: (Turns to face her boyfriend) Hmm…

Kurt: I want to tell you something that I've only told Sam, Bridgette, Justin, and Ursula. It's about my father.

Annie: What about him?

Kurt: I never really knew him that well. That's because, well, he smoked like a chimney. He ended up getting lung cancer. He died of it when I was only four years old.

Annie: I see…

Kurt: Since I was too young to understand the concept of death, my mother and paternal grandparents told me that my dad went on a vacation somewhere. When I asked where, they just said a beautiful hotel beyond the clouds. I didn't know what they meant, but fourteen years later…I definitely know what they're talking about. I never had a father most of my life.

Annie: (Holds Kurt's hand) I'm so sorry, Kurty.

Kurt: Don't fret for me, dear. (Begins to tear up) It's just that…listening to this song…it…it…

Annie: Kurt…

Kurt: (Begins to bawl) It makes me miss my daddy!

(Kurt cries on Annie's shoulder and she holds him warmly)

 **(Instrumental)**

(Cut to Cody, who gets a little emotional as well listening to the song)

Cody: (Gets up from his seat) I'm going to call my dad. Let him know how much I love him. He should be home from work by now.

Heidi: You think you can give the phone to me after that. I want to call my father too.

Cody: Anyone else want to call their father?

Tweek: (Nods his head)

Craig: Yeah, what the heck.

Kelly: Count me in.

Millie: Me too.

Bridgette & Clyde: Sure.

Kevin: My dad gave so much to me, it's about time I give back by telling him how much he means to me.

(Heidi, Craig, Tweek, Kelly, Bridgette, Kevin, Millie, and Clyde follow Cody to the plane's personal phone)

(We cut to Red and Ursula. Ursula sees that Red is depressed)

Ursula: What's wrong, Red Delicious? We beat Marlowe, why do you look so sad?

Red: I just got to thinking about my dad. I remember when I was younger, he said that I'll always be his little girl, and he'll always love me…but then I came out of the closet and he just wants nothing to do with me. I'm not going to lie, it hurts. You're very lucky that your parents are very accepting as to who you are.

Ursula: Oh, Red. (Holds her) I know it hurts, but if they don't accept you for who you are, fuck them. They don't understand what we have together. You don't need people like them in your life.

Red: I get the gist of what you're saying. If they can't accept me for who I am, then it's their loss, but it still hurts knowing that your own parents don't love you just because of your sexuality.

Ursula: Red…

Red: Not trying to sound rude, but can you stop talking and just hold me?

Ursula: (Holds her warmly and rubs her back) Sure…

 **(It's not time to make a change. Just sit down, take it slowly. You're still young, that's your fault. There's so much you have to go through. Find a girl, settle down. If you want, you can marry. Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy)**

(Cut to Apollo and Maria)

Apollo: I don't know, sister. Throughout all of the lives I've lived, I always believed that friends and happiness were a weakness. But being around you and these saints…it makes me feel something deep inside.

Maria: How does it feel.

Apollo: Weird. Almost…a euphoric feeling.

Maria: That's happiness. Once you get a taste, you can't stop.

Apollo: I want more of this feeling…but I still want to believe the words father told me.

Maria: Parents aren't always right you know. Why don't you do what your heart tells you, Apollo.

Apollo: Right now it's telling me to do more of this. More battling alongside you. I want to hang out with you all.

Maria: If that's what the heart wants, do it!

Apollo: (Thinks for a bit and smiles warmly) Yeah. Today, a new Apollo Murciélago is born! I shall be…good!

Maria: (Hugs him) That's the spirit brother!

 **(All the times that I cried. Keeping all the things I knew inside. It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it. If they were right, I'd agree. But it's them they know not me. Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away. I know I have to go)**

(Cut back to Sam, Wendy, and Doug)

Wendy: (Wakes up and sits back up in her chair)

Sam: Well look who's finally up! Sleep well?

Wendy: (Kisses Sam on the cheek) I did. (Turns to Doug and hugs him) I love you, dad.

Doug: I love you to Wendy. And thanks for saving me.

Wendy: (A small tear of joy falls from her eye) No problem.

(The plane flies off into the sunset as the episode ends)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Everyone is back at the Testaburger Residence, singing "Happy Birthday" to Doug. He blows out his candles, and his wife, Deborah , begins to cut the cake)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: In a forest somewhere, a strange looking venus fly trap plant is growing. A shadow of a person is looming over it)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Apollo is walking down the hall in school, but he passes Jason and Bradley who spit spitballs at the back of his head. Jason and Bradley laugh, but instead of getting angry and using his powers, Apollo just waves his hand in disapproval and walks away. He really has turned a new leaf)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Marlowe, now thawed out, is in the high security prison with the other villains. Justin tries messing with her, but Marlowe just kicks Justin in the balls and he doubles over in pain. Trent, Ethel, Max, Tobias, and Paris laugh while Charon tries to help Justin up on his feet. Charon then escorts Justin to the infirmary. We also get another shot of Dimitri, still in the prison's freezer)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: Sam is invited over to the Testaburger Residence again for dinner. They're having some burgers that Doug grilled up. As they are eating though, Kelly is looking through the window, glaring at Wendy)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: On board a Sam's club truck, we see a bunch of crates that contain tons of the venus fly trap esque plants. The crates have the word, "Thorne Co." written on them)

 **(Samayoinagara** **  
** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: Apollo is over at Stan's house, and he and Stan play some video games together. Stan is happy that Apollo is coming out of his shell)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: The horde of henchmen that escaped from Grand Isle are now in a desert somewhere. They don't know where to go, but they all take off in one direction, hoping to find the Saints so they can get their revenge)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #9: At the school cafeteria, Apollo is eating lunch with Sam, Maria, and their friends. He appears to be very happy. He raises his soda can as does everyone else)


	16. The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 15: The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 1)

(We start this episode off at an abandoned oil refinery outside the city of Denver. The oil refinery is covered in plant life like moss, vines, and assorted grasses. Just outside of the refinery is a forest where plenty of the venus fly trap-esque plants are growing. We then cut to a random room in the refinery where a shadowy figure is sitting on a throne made of barks, leaves, and vines. The figure appears to be female. We hear her lament and talk as she says…)

Female Figure: Humanity...such a disgrace! They love to rape the land by tearing down trees. They like to release chemicals with their big vehicles. And they don't give a damn about what happens to this planet because of their actions.

(The female takes out a picture of a man from a manila folder. The man in the picture is scrawny and tall with red hair, glasses, a white lab coat, grey pants, and black shoes. She looks at the picture and says…)

Female Figure: Because of these humans' reckless behavior, I lost you…Jonathan, the love of my life. Rest well, my darling. Soon all of these fools will pay, and they'll learn the hard way what happens when you mess with nature! (She opens her green eyes wide and shoots a small grin)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (9 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, and Ms. Penelope Marlowe). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(After the intro we cut to a nice Friday afternoon in South Park Laboratories. Sophocles in his lab, trying to work on the weapons that Annie, Token, and Heidi obtained on their last mission in Grand Isle. Maria and Apollo are with him as well helping him out)

Sophocles: And we're done! Thanks for the help.

Apollo: No problem, doctor.

Sophocles: Please, call me Sophocles.

Apollo: Okay, Sophocles. I just want to thank you again for welcoming me to the team with open arms. I think you guys are starting to grow on me.

Sophocles: That's good.

(Just then the door to Sophocles' lab comes in. Sam, Wendy, and Doug enter)

Sam: Hey there, doc.

Sophocles: Hello. How are you three doing this afternoon?

Doug: Hey it's Friday, no work or school for two whole days. I can't complain.

Sophocles: Sam, I've worked on your wingpack like you wanted. (He goes to a closet and grabs it) Now you can launch the feathers on your wings as if they were bullets.

Sam: Thanks, Sophocles. (He notices the sniper, machetes, and the regular gun on the table) Hey, aren't those the weapons we got from our mission on Grand Isle the other day?

Sophocles: Yeah. I'm modifying them for Annie, Heidi, and Token so they can use them out on the field. For example, I've modified Token's sniper so he could fire more shots, and so they could move faster. I also added compartments that give Token different bullets. Those bullets being regular bullets, ice bullets that freeze the opponent on contact, and explosive bullets that explode upon contact.

Sam: Interesting.

Sophocles: Annie's machetes I've modified so they can release super powered slashes, kind of like my Soul Chopper Attack. Not only that, but if she does this…(He hooks the handle of one machete onto the other to create a pair of scissors) Boom! Machete Scissors!

 **(Author's Note: Think of Sundowner's machetes from Metal Gear Rising)**

Wendy: That's cool.

Sophocles: And finally, Heidi's gun. I modified it so that she can fire multiple bullets over a wide area. Like a spread fire sort of thing.

Doug: I must say, doc. You've out done yourself.

Sophocles: Thanks.

Maria: I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they see their new weapons.

Sophocles: I know, they'll be as happy as a kid whose Christmas wish came true. So now, with everybody's weapons modified, I say it's time for dinner. Mephesto brought some pizzas for lunch, and there's a lot of slices left over if you guys are interested.

Maria: Sure.

Apollo: Count me in.

Sophocles: (Turns to Doug, Wendy, and Sam) Will you three be joining us?

Sam: Sure.

Doug: Wendy and I will join in too. My wife is working late tonight and the last thing I want is for her to cook the moment she gets home.

Wendy: We always order take out if she's working late.

Sophocles: Okay then, everyone, follow me.

(The group of six walk to the lab's cafeteria. Everyone grabs a seat at a table as Sophocles goes into the kitchen to grab the pizzas. He heats them up and comes out with pizza for everyone)

Sam: Will Mephesto be joining us?

Sophocles: No he went home.

Maria: Oh well, more for us. Time to dig in!

(Everybody grabs a slice)

Sophocles: So, Sam, Wendy, Doug. Since you three are here, can you three deliver the weapons to Heidi, Token, and Annie the next time you see them?

Sam: Sure.

Sophocles: Perfect! (Grabs a remote to the cafeteria's television) What do you guys want to watch?

Doug: I think there's a Roseanne marathon on T.V Land.

Sophocles: Next stop, T.V Land.

(He turns on the T.V, and an advertisement appears on the screen. The advertisement has a picture of one of the Venus fly trap plants from earlier on it and a family looking at it with much adoration)

Announcer: That's right, everyone, get down to Sam's Club in Denver right now to pick up Thorne Co.'s new plant! Better hurry because supplies are limited!

Sophocles: Thorne Co. released a new plant?

Sam: What's Thorne Co.?

Doug: Thorne Co. has been around for about 50 years now. It's owned by the Thorne Family, and it's currently run by the previous owner's daughter: Bianca Thorne.

Sophocles: The Thorne Family are also pretty good botanists, always studying plants and making brilliant discoveries. They also manage to create their own unique plants like the Venus fly trap you just saw on the T.V. My personal favorite creation they made was a rose that had sunflowers on its stem instead of thorns.

Maria: How odd.

Sophocles: It's been a while since Thorne Co released a new plant. (He gets up from his seat) I think I'm going to go down to Sam's Club and buy myself one of those plants so I can do some research on it. You guys want to come with?

Maria: I think Apollo and I should head home.

Apollo: Yeah. It's been a long day at school today and I just want to take a nap.

Sam: I'll come with you.

Wendy: Can my dad and I come too?

Sophocles: Of course. So, Apollo, Maria, if you two are staying here, can you deliver the weapons to Token, Annie, and Heidi?

Apollo: Sure, we can do that.

Sophocles: Perfect! (Turns to Sam, Wendy, and Doug) Okay you three, let's go!

(The four leave the lab, enter Sophocles' car, and it drives off)

(Later on the interstate)

Sam: So, Sophocles, even though you have only one good eye you're still allowed to drive a car?

Sophocles: Yeah, America's great isn't it? Except for the South.

Wendy: How did you lose your eye anyway?

Doug: Yeah, we've known you for eight years and we still don't know how you lost it.

Sam: I bet it was an experiment gone wrong. Or someone wanted the plans to one of your experiments and you had to teach him a lesson, but not before he took out your eye.

Sophocles: I actually lost my eye to a pretty bad viral infection in 2003.

(Silence)

Sam: Well that's just depressing.

Doug: Anyway, Sophocles, why do you want to do research on this plant.

Sophocles: I do research on all of Thorne Co.'s plants. You know, see what they're made of, take a look at the plant's inner workings, maybe I can even take a DNA sample so that Mephesto can work at it and give it to Kevin so he can get another transformation.

Wendy: That'd be cool. Can you imagine Kevin running around with vines for hands and feet?

Sam: And maybe some flower petals around his neck. Now that'd be a sight.

Sophocles: We're here!

(Sophocles parks the car and our four heroes enter Sam's Club. Inside the store…it is packed)

Sam: It's a goddamn zoo here!

Doug: Well Memorial Day is coming soon, everyone is trying to get all of the good deals here. Plus I doubt we're the only ones who want Thorne Co.'s new plant.

Sophocles: Okay, everyone, split up. We'll each take a part of the store. The person who finds the plant must call the other three and tell them to meet at the check-out area. Sound good?

Sam: Crystal clear, sir.

Sophocles: Okay, everyone, let's move!

(Our four heroes split up and take different parts of the store. We first cut to Doug who is wandering the isles)

Doug: Sam's Club: The one place where I seriously have to wonder who would ever need this stuff in bulk. I mean, some of this stuff could go to waste if one buys something in bulk.

(He notices something: A display case of a 48 pack of Mt. Dew)

Doug: Mt. Dew? I haven't had that since I was a teenager. I've got to take this! (He grabs a cart and takes the 48 pack of soda) I wonder what else they have here.

(He sees a crate full of tangerines)

Doug: Oh, tangerines! Sweet! (He puts that in the cart and he sees something else) 24 pack of London broil steaks! Oh I know what we're having for dinner tonight! These babies will look good cooking on the grill! (He sees a crate of potatoes) And we can have that with mashed potatoes! Amazing! I love Sam's Club! (He sees something else) A crate of 96 Kit-Kat Bars! Hello dessert!

(We cut Sophocles as he's looking around for the plant as well. He's in the electronics section, looking at all of the video games and music CDs that he passes. He then sees a bunch of televisions, one of which is airing the Roseanne marathon)

Sophocles: Roseanne! I suppose I could take a short break and watch this.

(On Roseanne)

 _Roseanne: That is not funny! You are grounded until menopause!_

 _Darlene: Yours or mine?_

 _Roseanne: Your father's!_

(Sophocles chuckles at that as another scene comes on)

 _Roseanne: Darlene got her period last night._

 _Jackie: Really? She's only 11._

 _Roseanne Conner: I was 11 when I got my period._

 _Jackie: But you were already wearing a D-cup._

 _Roseanne: Yeah, two of them._

(Sophocles chuckles again as another scene comes on)

 _Fisher: (Sees Roseanne carrying his T.V away) Uh, that's mine._

 _Roseanne: (Drops the T.V and sarcastically says…) God, I just hate myself for that!_

(Sophocles laughs again and says…)

Sophocles: Yeah, you tell that asshole! Fuck you, Fisher!

(Suddenly, an employee and a customer come up to the T.V Sophocles was watching. The employee unplugs the T.V and gives it to the customer.

Sophocles: Hey I was watching that!

Employee: The Roseanne marathon will be on again next May (Leaves).

Sophocles: Well who the hell knows when that's going to be….No seriously, sometimes it airs early May, sometimes it's mid-May, other times it's late May. (Looks into the camera) What, you all really thought I didn't know how long it'll be until the next May rolls around? (He laughs and sees that an HD T.V is on sale) Hmm, now that would look good in the lab.

(We cut to Wendy who is walking through the clothing isle)

Wendy: Okay, where is that plant.

(She passes some mannequins that are displaying summer clothes like dresses, t-shirts, shorts, and swimsuits)

Wendy: Hmm, summer's coming on. I could use some summer clothes. (Slaps herself) Nope, stay focused! I must find that plant for Sophocles. Nothing is going to stop me!

(She then sees a bunch of mannequins dressed in some beautiful dresses. Above them is a banner that reads, "Prom Sale.")

Wendy: I could use a dress for prom. Maybe I could try on just one…

(She tries on more than just one…)

 **(Cue I'm Sexy, I'm Cute by Bring it On)**

 **(I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot!)**

(Dress #1: A white dress that goes down to Wendy's shins. She's wearing white heels and white framed sunglasses with a white beret)

 **(I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!)**

(Dress #2: A short pink dress with pink sandals)

 **(I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything you're not!)**

(Dress #3: A short gold dress with gold heels and a gold parasol that Wendy spins around gleefully)

 **(I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!)**

(Dress #4: A long purple dress with purple heels and purple shawl)

Wendy: I love this place!

(We finally cut to Sam who is just wandering around, searching for the plant when he comes across a familiar face also wandering the store…it's Kurt)

Sam: Hey, Kurt (Runs up to him).

Kurt: (Carrying a bag full of lobsters) Hey, Sam! What's up!

Sam: I'm here with Wendy, Doug, and Sophocles. We're looking for that new plant released by Thorne Co.

Kurt: You guys too?

Sam: Yeah.

Kurt: Well, you're not the only one. I was on line in the seafood department and someone was complaining that the line was too long and they were going to be all out of those plants.

Sam: That brings up another question, why are you buying seafood…and here of all places?

Kurt: I promised Annie, Ursula, and Red a lobster dinner for our double date tonight. I don't want to feed them the lobsters they have at the supermarket back in South Park. For God's sake they don't even clean the lobster tank there. The lobsters here at Sam's Club are freshly caught and cared for. And the best part, they clean out their lobster tank daily! Best lobster around, let me tell you.

Sam: Noted next time I want lobster dinner.

Kurt: I think I passed the nursery on the way to the seafood department. Come along and I'll show you the way.

Sam: Thanks, bud.

(The two teenage boys walk to the nursery when they pass by another familiar face who just so happens to be looking at a random display case of jewelry. The person in question is…Kelly Rutherford-Menskin…oh joy…Kelly sees Sam and runs up behind him)

Kelly: Hello, Sammy!

Kurt: (Under his breath) Aw no, not this chick again.

Kelly: (Hugs Sam from behind him) What are you doing here, sweetie? Did you follow little old me here to Denver?

Sam: (Groans) No, Kelly, I'm here to pick up a plant.

Kelly: Oh, that new plant that's causing a buzz amongst shoppers. Yeah, it's cool I guess.

Kurt: What are you doing here, Kell?

Kelly: As I'm sure you noticed, I wasn't in school today. That's because I'm visiting my cousin here in Denver for the weekend. I'm just here to pick up some snack foods for movie night.

Kurt: Then why were you looking at jewelry?

Kelly: Well, prom is coming up, and I was browsing so I knew what I should wear when…(looks at Sam)…a certain somebody decides to make a promposal to me.

Sam: (Sigh) Look, Kelly, I can tell that you are really enamored with me, but you and I…we come from different worlds. A world of action for me and a world of…whatever the hell is going on in your life. I don't think we'll ever work out. Not only that, but as you already know, I already have a girlfriend. I'm dating Wendy. I think we should just be friends. You understand, don't you?

Kelly: (Sighs) Alright, Sam, I understand.

Sam: Okay, good. Well, I guess I'll see you in school on Monday. See you.

(Sam and Kurt leave…but Kelly stays behind and talks to herself, saying…)

Kelly: What's that, Sammy? Oh, you were just joking? I know you were. You always had a great sense of humor. I love you, baby. And you love me…(Chuckles a bit crazily) I know you love me, Samuel Cooper. And the next mission you have, that love will shine through I know it will!

(Sam and Kurt are continuing on their way to the nursery )

Sam: Hopefully Kelly will back off now.

Kurt: I don't know. Girls like her are hard to shake off. There's only one way I know for sure you can get rid of her if she doesn't leave you alone.

Sam: What's that?

Kurt: You ever seen those movies where some kid has to get rid of an animal that they've grown attached to, but the animal still likes the kid. So in order totally get rid of the animal, the kid has to say mean things to the animal so it would go away.

Sam: Dude, I'm not going to be mean to Kelly. She may be creepy, but she's a good person when you get passed that. I'm not going to do that. If she doesn't let up, I'm going to continue letting her down gently until she gets the message.

Kurt: Okay, we'll see where that gets you.

(After a while, the two friends find themselves at the entrance to the nursery )

Sam: Ah, here we are!

Kurt: I told you we'd find it. Well, I guess this is my time to hit the old dusty trail…or rather the bus back to South Park.

Sam: Wait, you took a bus here? Don't you have a red Chevrolet Camaro that your grandparents brought you for your birthday? Why didn't you take that instead of wasting money on a bus ticket?

Kurt: I'm not taking my Camaro up to Denver. With my luck someone will steal it.

Sam: Okay Kurt, understood. See you later, and thank you.

Kurt: (Leaves) My pleasure.

(Sam enters the nursery and finds a bunch of shelves labeled, "Throne Co., new Fly Trap". There is only one plant left)

Sam: There's the plant! And there's only one left!

(He runs up to the shelf and grabs it. He then walks over to the cashier in the nursery, and pays for it. He leaves the nursery with a smile on his face)

Sam: This is too easy! Now I just have to text Wendy, Doug, and Sophocles, and we are out of here. (Starts reading the text out loud) Hey, got last of the plants, let's get out of here. (Clicks Send) Let's rock.

(He's about to leave when…)

Customer #1: Did you all hear that! That teenager has the last of the Thorn Co. plants!

Customer #2: Give it to me, you little brat!

Customer #3: No! Give it to me! I'll give you $100!

(Sam is getting approached by tons of customers)

Sam: No, back off! My friends need this plant!

Customer #4: Not as bad as I need it! I'm having a party later tonight, and that plant will make a great centerpiece!

Sam: Leave me alone! (Runs like hell)

Customer #1: Don't let him get away!

(Sam is getting chased through the store by a hoard of customers. He passes Dr. Sophocles, who is carrying the HD T.V from earlier)

Sam: Run, Sophocles, run!

Sophocles: From what?! (He turns around to see the hoard of customers. He shrieks, drops the T.V, causing it to break, and runs away from the crowd too.

(Sophocles and Sam find Wendy leaving the clothing area, carrying tons of clothes in her arms. She sees Sam and Sophocles running)

Wendy: Hey, Sam! Want to see some of the clothes I brought?

Sam: (As he and Sophocles run past her) Maybe later, babe, but for right now, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Wendy: (Sees the hoard of angry customers) Oh hell no! (She throws her clothes in a nearby cart, and pushes it as she follows Sam and Sophocles)

(The trio make it to the checkout lines, where they find Doug waiting with a cart full of groceries. Doug turns around to find his daughter, Sam, and Sophocles running)

Doug: What's the rush? (He looks behind them to see the stampede of customers) Oh snap!

(He takes the groceries and follows the trio out of the store…the clerk however sees that Doug and Wendy took their good without paying)

Clerk: Hey, you have to pay for those.

Doug & Wendy: (Throws a wad of cash at the clerk's face) Keep the change!

(Out in the parking lot, the four heroes run to Sophocles' car (with Doug sliding across the hood of the car to get to the passenger seat). Sam and Wendy hastily throw the groceries and clothes in the back of the car and join Doug and Sophocles in the car as the latter person gets ready to turn it on)

Wendy: (Sees the angry customers coming) Hurry, Sophocles, they're almost here!

Sophocles: (Turns the car on) Yes!

Sam: Punch it!

(Sophocles drives out of the parking lot and speeds off as the angry mob of customers just stares)

Customer #1: Come back with our plant, dicks!

Sam: (Sticks his head out the window) Suck my balls! (The car drives off)

(Inside the car, our heroes are happy they escaped)

Doug: That was amazing!

Sam: Oh, you know it! That plant must really be sought after. There was only one left when I got there.

Sophocles: You mean you got the last one.

Sam: Yup.

Wendy: Now that's good luck. Can we take a look?

Sam: Sure. (Sam opens the bag and takes out the Venus fly trap-esque plant) It looks awesome.

Sophocles: (Looks behind him for a brief moment then goes back to driving) By taking a quick glimpse at it, it looks like it has great color pigmentation. I should show this to Cody. We can do research on the plant there.

(As Sophocles' car drives back to South Park, the female figure from earlier is watching the city of Denver from a tower in the abandoned oil refinery)

Female Figure: Those damn fools. They actually brought my plants like the greedy little consumers they are.

(The person comes out of the shadows to reveal a woman with red hair and green eyes. She's wearing a necklace with flowers and leaves, a red sleeveless hoodie, gray pants, and she is barefooted. She also has two vines that are wrapped around her right arm and her left leg. This person is Bianca Thorne)

Bianca: It'll only be a matter of hours before humanity pays for their sins against nature…and for taking away the man that I loved.

(Back at South Park, our four heroes arrive at South Park Hills. Sophocles parks his car in front of Cody's mansion. Sam grabs the plant and our four heroes run up to the front door. Sophocles opens the door and they enter the living room where they find Cody and Bebe cuddled up on the couch sleeping)

Wendy: Aw, they look so adorable.

Doug: They're going to miss the new plant.

Sophocles: I think we should leave them. They seem pretty comfy and conten…

Sam: (Cuts him off and tries to wake Cody and Bebe up by shouting) CODY, BEBE, WAKE UP! JUSTIN BROKE OUT OF JAIL AND HE'S COMING AFTER US! SOPHOCLES AND MR. STEVENS ARE DEAD!

Cody & Bebe: WHAT!?

Bebe: (Starts bawling) Daddy, no!

Cody: This can't be happening. My uncle, my uncle!

Sam: (Chuckles a bit) Just kidding. I only said that so you'd wake up.

Wendy: Wow, Sam, that is fucked up on so many levels.

Sam: Oh come on, can't you all take a joke?

Bebe: (Wipes the tears from her eyes as Cody comforts her by holding her) There are just some things we don't joke about, and our enemies are on the top of the list…especially if Justin is concerned! (Groan) Whatever, what's the big emergency?

Sophocles: We got back from Sam's Club, and we brought the new plant released by Throne Co.! Feast your eyes on this! (He shows Cody and Bebe the venus fly trap plant)

Cody: You wake us up from a peaceful nap all so you can show us a plant!

Sophocles: I figured you two might want to see it before I conduct research on it.

Bebe: Sure, why not. We're already up.

Sophocles: Perfect. Follow me to the study.

(The five follow Sophocles to the mansion's study. Upon arriving there, Sophocles places the plant on a desk and he begins examining)

Bebe: (Looks at the color) That plant is really…well…green.

Sophocles: Yes, the pigmentation and color is something to be respected on this plant. (He opens the plant's mouth to show small sharp teeth) This fly trap has excellent teeth. They all appear to be symmetrical with even length and shape. (He taps the fly trap's head) Hmm, sturdy. (He grabs a scalpel, and makes an incision in one of the vines. The cut heals itself in a matter of seconds) Whenever damage is done to the vines, the plant heals itself with great speed! This is amazing. We could be looking at a super plant. Bianca Thorne has outdone herself this time.

Wendy: I wonder how she made it?

Sam: She must have grown these plant near a nuclear power plant or something.

Plant: Oh no, not that. She just uses a bit of, shall we say…magic.

Sam: Magic, huh? Now I've heard every…(Does a double take) Did that plant just talk!?

Plant: Of course I talked, you Fonzie wannabe.

Sam: What, just because I'm wearing a leather jacket makes me a Fonzie wannabe?

Plant: Now, now, there's nothing wrong with that. The Fonz is cool you know. (Raises two of his vines and tries to give a thumbs up with them) Ay!

Doug: Did whatever magic Bianca used allow you to talk?

Plant: Of course. I am the Gigas Fly Trap, and I am quite possibly Ms. Thorne's greatest creation.

Cody: Gigas… doesn't that mean giant.

Plant: Check out the big brain on moneybags over here.

Cody: No offense, but you're very tiny.

Plant: No shit, Sherlock. But I grow to incredible sizes, hence the name "Gigas Fly Trap." You think maybe the six of you could help a poor little plant like me grow.

Sam: Sure. What do you need? (Takes out a watering can) How about some water?

Plant: Nope.

Wendy: (Grabs a random bag of fertilizer) Maybe some fresh fertilizer?

Plant: (Shakes head) Mmm-mmm.

Cody: Plants grow when you talk to them. What do you say to a good story book? I could read you some Edgar Allen Poe, or a Shakespearian Play, or something from Mark Twain, your choice.

Plant: (Yawns)

Doug: (Grabs some very bright light bulbs) Maybe we can shed a little light on the situation.

Plant: (Blows a raspberry)

Bebe: Well what the hell do you want then?

Plant: There's only one thing that I require to grow to my full potential…blood.

(Cody tenses up at hearing that)

Sophocles: Blood, huh? That's a little bit strange. Of course Thorne Co.'s plants have always been pretty out there.

Plant: If you want me to grow, I need blood. If I don't get blood, I die.

Cody: You guys can't seriously be thinking about giving this thing blood. I mean, the whole thing just sounds a bit sketchy…not to mention a total rip-off of Little Shop of Horrors (Under his breath) Seriously what is this writer smoking?

Plant: Oh please, everyone. Give me some blood. Don't you all want to be the envy of your friends, the talk of the town. You'll all be famous if you have a superpowered plant like me on your side.

Sophocles: Hmm, maybe if we give you blood and you really do grow…I can further my research on you. Learn more about you.

Plant: If that's what you desire, doctor, then make with the blood.

Sam: Hey, Sophocles, doesn't Mephesto have blood samples back at the lab?

Sophocles: Yeah, but he'd kill me if he learned that I stole them. We have to think of another source of blood. (Turns to Bebe and Wendy) Hey, girls, by any chance is it…you know…that time of the month for either of you?

Bebe: Augh, no!

Wendy: Doc, you know you shouldn't ask that.

Sophocles: Well, sorry, we need blood to make this thing grow.

Bebe: Wait! I have an idea. (Faces Cody) Sweetie, find me a jar. We're going to get some blood.

Cody: (Grabs a jar that's sitting on a nearby bookshelf) Okay, babe. But I still think this is a bad idea.

Bebe: (Turns to Wendy) Wendy, remember that day at the mall eight years ago? You know, when I first got to meet Sam and…(Clears throat) He who shall not be named!

Wendy: Oh yeah, I remember. Why, what are you going to…

Bebe: Hey, Sam, look over here! (She grabs Wendy's skirt, and lifts it up to show her panties. Upon seeing Wendy's underwear, Sam gets a major nosebleed, causing blood to fly) Hurry, Cody, catch the blood!

Cody: Got it! (He catches the blood in the jar as it flies from Sam's nose. The jar get filled to the brim just as Sam's nosebleed stops)

Sam: (Wipes blood from his nose) I forgot how serious of a problem my nosebleeds were.

Wendy: (Straightens her skirt up) Well I'm not a hundred percent on the method on how we got the blood, at least we got it.

Cody: (Gives Sophocles the jar) Here you go, uncle. Just…please be careful.

Sophocles: Have no fear, nephew of mine. I'll be just fine. (Takes jar from Cody) Okay, plant, open wide.

Plant: Okay! (Opens his mouth as Sophocles pours blood into it until it empties out)

Sophocles: So, plant, how do you feel? (The plan laughs manically) Uh, plant?

Plant: You idiots, you actually fell for it! (Starts to grow in size and his vines extend) Mistress Bianca will be happy to know that I have six perfect blood samples for Damien.

Cody: (Turns to his five friends) See, what did I say!? I knew this was a bad idea!

Plant: Be good little humans get in my mouth so that I may chew and grind you all up, and store your delicious blood in my vines. (He attempts to slam his vines down on the six, but they dodge out of the way)

Sophocles: Freaky fauna! (Looks to see his scythe sitting in the corner of the study) I think it's time we do some trimming. (He runs to the scythe, and the plant sees it)

Plant: Where do you think you're going, doc?

Cody: Look out, uncle!

Plant: For nature! (He swings his vines at Sophocles, but he dodges them all. He eventually grabs his scythe and gets ready to fight) Oh like a little blade is going to stop me.

Sophocles: This'll surely cut you down to size.

Plant: Bring it on! (He swings his vines at Sophocles but…)

Sophocles: Scythe Full-Swing!

(He swings his scythe and cuts all of the vines off)

Plant: Gah, my vines! You'll pay for that!

Sophocles: I don't have to pay for shit, you mean green mother from hell!

Plant: No matter, they'll just grow back.

(The vines start to grow back slowly)

Sophocles: I guess I'll have to dispose of you quickly then. (He charges at the plant and swings his scythe) RAH! (He slashes the plant right on the head, cutting it wide open. Upon creating the cut, magic energy seeps out of it and the plant starts to shrink)

Plant: (Screams) You cursed scientist! Look what you've done! Oh what a world, what a world! Who'd have thought a good little scientist like you would destroy my beautiful viciousness! Oh, I'm going, I'm going! Ohhhhhhhhh!

(The plant is reduced to a little seed that Doug picks up)

Doug: So this is what's left of that monstrosity, eh?

Wendy: Looks like it, dad. (Takes it from Doug and tosses it in a nearby wastebasket)

Cody: You made quick work of that fly trap, uncle.

Bebe: Yeah, not bad for a 50 something year old man who smokes like a chimney.

Sophocles: I'm going to take that as a compliment.

(Wendy looks to see Sam with a worried expression on his face)

Wendy: What's the matter, Sam?

Sam: This just occurred to me. If hundreds of other people brought this plant back in Denver, does this mean…

Sophocles: (In one breath)…That those fly traps are sentient as well and convinced the citizens of Denver to give them some blood so they can grow to gargantuan size and wreck shit all over the place and collect blood of other citizens to revive Damien, and it might also be possible that Bianca Thorne might be the sixth advocate…(Inhales deeply) Yeah there's a high chance of that.

Sam: (Starts to leave the study in fear) Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no! (The other five chase after him)

Wendy: (Calls after him down the staircase) Sam, where are you going?

Sam: I've got to get to Denver. The shit is going to hit the fan hard! In the meantime, Wen-Wen, round up the rest of the gang! I need all of the help I can get! Wish me luck!

(Runs out the front door)

Wendy: Sammy, wait!

(Too late, Sam runs out the door to get ready for the fight of his life)

Cody: So…what do we do now?

Doug: You hear Sam, he said we should round up the rest of our team to help take this new threat on. So let's go!

Sophocles: I just can't believe a renowned botanist like Bianca Thorne would be an advocate.

Cody: If there's anything this quest has taught us, uncle, the advocates have turned out to be stranger people.

(The five leave the mansion to go find their friends)

(Cut to Sam, now dressed as Sir Justice, driving fast down the streets of South Park on his motorcycle. He gets to the freeway entrance drives even faster)

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh man! I hope I'm not too late.

(He speeds off to Denver. Speaking of which, we cut to Bianca's hideout at the oil refinery. Night has fallen and she is standing atop a tower and looks at the city in the distance)

Bianca: My revenge begins now! Once I get the blood needed to revive Damien and break down the 13 stones that seal him away in his tomb, he and I will re-create this world and make it beautiful again, like it was before all of the pollution and deforestation! My time is now…

(We cut to the city of Denver. In an apartment building, there's a tenant just sitting down in front of his T.V, eating some pizza, and watching the Roseanne marathon)

 _Roseanne: (To Dan) Well, that was real pretty._

 _Dan: I don't want to talk about it. Where are they sleeping?_

 _Roseanne: I thought you said you didn't want to talk about it._

 _Dan: Where are they sleeping?_

 _Roseanne: They're sleeping in the girls' room, and Darlene's going in D.J's room._

 _Dan: Perfect._

 _Roseanne: Well, it was either that or let them go to some cheap motel where they'd actually enjoy it._

(The tenant chuckles and takes a bite of his pizza. It's at this moment a vine busts through the T.V set, and more vines bust through the wall)

Tenant: What in the world! (He runs away, and tries to leave his apartment, but more vines are there waiting for him. They grab him and he screams in fear)

(The next scene of destruction is in a movie theater. The patrons are watching a comedy and laughing their asses off. It's at this moment one of the Gigas Fly Trap's busts his head through the movie screen, causing the patrons to leave the theater in fear)

(The next scene of destruction takes place at a grocery store that's across the street from the movie theater. One plant busts through the floor, and another appears from the store's deli section. The customers and workers leave the grocery store in a stampede)

(The scene after that, the same patrons and workers that left the theater and grocery store look to see more Gigas Fly Traps, much bigger than the one that Sam and company faced, wreaking havoc throughout the city of Denver, breaking buildings with their vines, and tossing cars and other vehicles in the air. Tons of civilians run down the streets in hopes of not getting caught in the ensuing chaos. Any people that the plants caught imeditaely get thrown into the plants' mouths and gobbled up, storing the blood of the victims in their vines. Many more plants bust through some of the cities shops and apartment buildings until the entire city is overrun with them. Suffice it to say, the Denverites are all screwed (Author's Note: Imagine the alternate ending to Little Shop of Horrors…which actually inspired me to write this chapter LOL XD))

(Finally we cut to the Denver City Limits where the police and military are barricading the city, making sure nothing goes in or out. The police are leading people away from the city so they don't get caught in the chaos too. It's at this moment when one officer sees the headlights of a motorcycle…Sam/Sir Justice finally made it to Denver)

Officer: Hey, you, stop!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Drives right through the barricade, but some of the officers and travelers recognize him from his appearance on Death T.V)

Traveler: It's that Sir Justice dude! He'll save the city!

(Sam rides into the city, and he stops and parks his motorcycle on a hill in Denver's local Park. He looks to see tons of those plans destroying the city and harvesting blood from the civilians)

Sam: (Gets off his bike) Damn, Bianca Thorne is certainly someone that prefers nature over nurture. (Grabs one of his guns with his right hand and grabs his lightsaber with his left) Nevertheless, it's time that these evil weeds…get whacked!

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(I know you've all heard this before, but I'm sorry for having you all wait almost a month for the next chapter. But do you want to know what happened? Life happened. Work gave me a hectic schedule, I caught a small head cold in late-June that just made me lose motivation to write this fanfic, I had writers block for this chapter, and I was playing Kingdom Hearts 2.8 and Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy. I don't know when I can get the next chapter out, but I'll try and get it out as soon as I can, so just bear with me please. Anyway, have a great day/afternoon/night/wheneverthefuckyoudecidetoreadthis)**


	17. The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 16: The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 2)

(This chapter takes place where the last one left off, with the Gigas Fly Traps wreaking havoc all throughout the city of Denver. Bianca Thorne watching the ensuing chaos from atop her tower at her hideout in the abandoned oil refinery)

Bianca: (Giggles evilly) Yes, humans, revenge is a dish best served with a side salad! This'll teach you all respect for the environment and for taking away my darling husband, Johnothan! Nothing is going to stop me from getting my revenge and reviving Damien…NOTHING!

(We cut to a random hill outside the city of Denver where the rest of the South Park Saints are gathered and ready to fight)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Looks into the city with shock and awe at the plants destroying it) Whoa, man, this is totally insane!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: So, we all ready to go in there and cut a few plants down to size?

Kevin: (Injects a D.N.A sample into himself and he gets the tentacles of an octopus for arms) I'm ready!

Token/Tupper Wear: I'm ready to take my new sniper out for a spin.

Annie/Darling Dame: I hope these machetes come in use today.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: And my gun, meow!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: We're a man down, though. Where the hell is Mephesto?

Sophocles: He said he'd catch up with us after he got…

Cartman/Coon: Let me guess, another animal hybrid that's going to die in like 5 minutes.

Sophocles: He said that this time, there's no way this next hybrid is going to kick the bucket.

Cartman/Coon: Yeah, we'll see how long that statement will hold up.

Clyde/Mosquito: From the looks of things, we're going to have to start this fight without him.

Red/Madame Knight: I guess so. (Turns to Sophocles) Hey, doc, did you modify my armor to meet my specifications.

Sophocles: I most certainly have. Look underneath your feet.

(Red looks underneath her armored boots to find purple disks)

Red/Madame Knight: Oh yeah, this is going to be fun!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Come on, let's go! I'm ready to kick me some leafy green butt! Let's do this thing! CHARGE!

Cartman/Coon: Woo! Alright, motherfuckers, let's go!

(The saints run down the hill, but Wendy looks into the city and says…)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I don't know what you're doing in there Sam, but I pray that you are faring well against these monstrosities.

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (10 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, and Bianca Thorne). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(In the city, Sir Justice is running through the streets using Cody's Speed Boots, avoiding getting trampled by any stampeding civilians. He decides to cut through an alley way when a bunch of vines come out from the buildings next do him)

Sam/Sir Justice: Back off! Red's Blade!

(He cuts the vines down and continues to run through the alleyway until he ends up on another street where three Gigas Fly Traps are walking down and creating havoc. Sam opens up his wingpack and takes flight)

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's see what these new wings Sophocles made can do! Feather Flurry!

(Feathers come from the wings of his wingpack and they cut the first fly trap deep, causing the dark magic to seep out of it and shrink. Sam takes out his lightsaber again and impales the second one right on the head, causing magic to seep out of that one and shrink. Finally, he sees the third one ready to eat Sam whole, so he jumps in the mouth of the third plant, and using his lightsaber, he busts right out the back of his head, defeating that plant. Sam is covered in a mixture of the plant's juices and blood from any civilians it gobbled up)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Tries shaking himself dry as he turns to see the three seeds of the fly traps he just defeated) Well, that's three down…and about 100 more to go. Where the hell are my friends? We could end this shit in 10 seconds if we were all here.

Kelly: (From a distance) WAAAHH! Somebody help me!

Sam/Sir Justice: Oh no! Kelly!

(He runs in the direction of her cries for help. When he turns the corner, he finds Kelly face to face with a Gigas Fly Trap)

Kelly: (Shaking in fear) P-please let me go, Mr. Plant.

(The plant gets ready to grab Kelly with its vines when…)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, Pollen Breath! (The plant turns to face Sam) Yeah, I'm talking to you! (The plant makes it's way to face Sam) Your mother was a stinkweed! (The plant stops to look down at Sam) I've seen scarier plants in Undertale!

(The plant whistles and three more plants appear. One busts out from the building on Sam's left, one busts out from the building on Sam's right, and one busts out from underground behind Sam)

Sam: Oh fuck me sideways

Kelly: Sammy, no!

(The plants get ready to grab Sam, and he shuts his eyes in fear when…)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Blade Storm!

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon!

Millie: Courageous Spear Gun!

Token/Tupper Wear: Tupper Sniper!

(The swords, harpoon, and spear impales three of the plants, and the sniper bullet goes through the head of the fourth plant, causing the dark magic to drain out of them and regress back into seeds. Sam opens his eyes and he sees his friends)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hey, Sam! Hope you didn't get too lonely without us.

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, guys! I knew you'd all come.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: As if we'd ever leave our best friend to become plant food.

(Sam laughs when a police car pops up. An officer comes out and says…)

Officer: Are you lot here to stop these…things?!

Sam/Sir Justice: You know it.

Officer: Alright good. (Looks at Kelly) Young lady, are you here with these guys?

Kelly: Yeah, but I don't have any unique abilities or anything like that.

Officer: I see. I'm trying to evacuate as many citizens as possible. Come with me and we'll go to the city limits.

Kelly: No way! I want to stay here and give moral support to Sam and his friends!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Kelly, you should evacuate the city with everyone else. It'd be stupid of you to stay here where you're more likely to get hurt.

Kelly: (Thinks for a bit) Okay, fine. Just…don't do anything too rash. (Hugs Sam) Especially you, Sam. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Pushes her away) I'm sure you'll stalk and lust after another one of us.

Kelly: But there's no one else quite like you. Good luck you guys. This is for luck, Sammy (She tries to kiss him, but Sam pushes her in the police car before she makes contact with him and the car drives off)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: What is that girl's deal?

Sam/Sir Justice: She's enamored with me, babe. I don't know what else to do.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Well clearly you have to drop the hammer and be mean to her so she'll leave you alone.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Thank you, Wendy! That's exactly what I told Sam to do. Great minds really do think alike.

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm not being mean to her. It's just not my style. Making fun of Bebe and her friends during the Stupid Spoiled Whore thing only gave me so much strength.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Pouts and says under her breath…) I still can't believe you called me a Pidgeotto.

Cartman/Coon: C'mon, let's go! I came here to kick some plant ass, so let's do it!

(Suddenly, they feel a tremor. Something is drawing close)

Sam/Sir Justice: Get ready guys, one of them is coming this way!

(The creature draws closer and it turns out to Mephosto, who is riding a hybrid with the neck and torso of a brachiosaurus, and the head of a tyrannosaurus rex, and the legs and antlers of a deer)

Mephesto: Hey, sorry I'm late.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Oh hamburgers with onions, lettuce, tomato, bacon, and ketchup with a pickle on the side and a cherry on top!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: I know we've said this many times before, but what the hell is that!

Mephesto: Meet the Deerosaurus Rex! The Ultimate Fighting Machine.

Stan/Toolshed: How the fuck did you get the dinosaur DNA to make that thing?! Are you John Hammond now!?

Mephesto: I know a guy. So, how about it? Are you all ready to tear up some plant life.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Smirks) You know it doc!

Mephesto: Then let's do it! Me and Rexy are ready for anything!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright. Everyone split up! It's time to divide and conquer!

(Just then, another Gigas Fly Trap busts from the building behind them. Sam opens his wingpack and takes out his lightsaber)

Sam/Sir Justice: This one's mine! Red's Blade! (He impales the Gigas Fly Trap on the head, causing it to shrink more)

Kenny/Mysterion: You heard the man. Let's wilt these plants!

Saints: Right!

(They all go their separate ways to begin their fight)

 **(Fight #1: Kevin and Token)**

(In one part of the city a plant uses one of its vines to break through a window. It grabs a man who is sleeping soundly in his bed, unaware of the situation he's in. The plant gets ready to eat the sleeping man when it feels a big piece of rock hit it in the back of its head. The plant turns around to find Kevin was the one that threw the rock using the strength and suction of his octopus tentacles)

Kevin: Yoo-hoo! Fly Trap! I have some nice calamari for you over here! (Tosses another big rock, which hits the plant again. The plant drops the sleeping man and his bed and starts making its way towards Kevin, who starts running, but not before picking up another piece of big rock) Catch me if you can, Audrey Poo!

(The plant chases Kevin all the way to an empty alley way. When the plant approaches the alley, Kevin smirks and says…)

Kevin: Okay, Token, let him have it!

Token/Tupper Wear: (Standing on the top of the building behind Kevin) Got it! (Readies his sniper) Shivering Shot! (He fires an ice bullet right through the plant, causing it to freeze)

Kevin: (Readies the rock he grabbed) Now that is one ugly ice sculpture! (He throws it and the frozen plant breaks, causing it to regress to a seed)

 **(Fight #2: Maria and Apollo)**

(Apollo is being chased by five of the plants while Maria is being chased by another five. The two meet up at the center of the city's park where the ten plants catch up to them)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: You ready, brother?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: You know I am!

(Both of their eyes start to glow. Their telekinesis is activating)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague & Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psychic Grip!

(Using their telekinesis, they are able to tangle the ten fly trap's vines together, trapping them)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague & Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Bomb!

(Bombs composed of pink and blue colored energy are fired at the ten plants, and they regress into seeds upon contact)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Woo-hoo! We did it!

 **(Fight #3: Doug, Stan, Heidi, and Mr. Slave)**

(In the middle of a street, Doug has two plants coming at him, one on his left and one on his right. His gloves start to glow and he's ready to attack)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception!

(He fires his attack and it freezes the two plants in place)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Go, Stan!

Stan/Tool Shed: With pleasure! (Jumps from the top of a building and gets ready to swing his sledge hammer) Hectic Hammer! (He shatters one frozen plant into a million pieces and opens the cannon on the hammer's face to defeat the second one) Hammer Cannon! (He fires a few blasts of energy and defeats the second plant)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Nice work, Stan.

(Suddenly, some vines bust out from the ground beneath them and they grab Doug and Stan. The plant that those vines belong to busts out from the ground and gets ready to eat the two saints when...)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Chainsaw Slash! (He uses his chainsaw to set Doug and Stan free)

Stan/Tool Shed: Thanks, Mr. Slave.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: No problem. (Looks behind him) Okay, Heidi, this plant is all yours!

(Heidi comes around the corner, using her Cheetah Speed attack, to run quickly on all fours. She makes it to the plant and jumps up high)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Lets out a fierce battle cry but sees the plant opening its mouth) Uh-oh! (The plant eats her)

Stan/Tool Shed: HEIDI!

(The plant smiles but then bullets start to pop out of the plant's head. Heidi is shooting the plant from the inside using her new gun. The plan falls down, defeated, allowing Heidi to exit out of the plant's mouth. The plant regresses back into a seed as Heidi looks at herself covered in the plant's juices)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Hmm, not the most efficient way to dealing with that plant…but at least I got the job done. Meow!

Stan/Tool Shed: (Runs up to Heidi) Oh, Heidi, I'm so glad you're okay! (Hugs her)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: My, what affection. I can get used to this. Meow!

 **(Fight #5: Leon)**

(In a parking garage building, Leon is running to the top of the building, but he's being relentlessly attacked by a Gigas Fly Trap and tries to grab Leon through the windows with his vines. Eventually, Leon makes it to the top and he jumps up. He holds his claws in front of him and starts spinning)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Spiral Claw! (He drills right through the fly trap's head, causing the dark magic to drain from it)

 **(Fight #6: Mephesto and the Deerosaurus Rex)**

(Mephesto and the Deerosaurus is facing a Gigas Fly Trap in another part of the city)

Mephesto: (Hops off of the hybrid's back) Go, Deerosaur! Charge!

(The Deerosaurus Rex charges, but the fly trap blocks it with its vines and pushes it back. It gets back up and gets angry)

Mephesto: Go, Deerosaur! Jump up!

(The Deerosaurus Rex jump up high and slams down, on the Gigas Fly Trap, pinning it down)

Mephesto: Let him have it! Shut it down!

(The Deerosaurus Rex bites the Gigas Fly Trap's bottom lip off, causing magic energy to drain from it and revert back into seed form. The Deerosaurus Rex eats the bottom lip of the plant and Mephesto pets its side)

Mephesto: That's a good hybrid. Good boy.

 **(Fight #7: Wendy and Cartman)**

(In another Denver street, five Gigas Fly Traps are wrecking havoc, and Wendy just walks up to them nonchalantly. The plants turn to face her)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Well, five of you leafy titans against little old me? If I was a normal person, I'd be scared. Fortunately for me…(Eyes widen) I'm not all that normal!

(The first of the plants tries to slam a vine down on Wendy, who just dodges out of the way and runs up the fine. Upon reaching the end of the vine, Wendy jumps up and prepares an attack)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a huge fireball and incinerates three of the five plants. The fourth one walks up to her in anger) Oh you want some too! (Her gloves ignite) Wildfire Smack Down!

(Wendy punches out all of the fly trap's teeth, leaving it nothing to eat her with)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (She fires another fireball and incinerates the fourth plant) Next!

(The fifth plan quickly appears out of the smoke and eats Wendy in one bite. The plant smiles, but inside the plant…)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Flames envelop her) Let me out! Inferno Tackle!

(She hurls herself all over the inside of the Fly Traps' mouth. It gets so hot that the Fly Trap spits Wendy out. When she gets back up, she prepares her final attack)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigres: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires another fireball and finishes off the fifth fly trap) Crash and burn!

(Suddenly, a sixth plant bursts out from a building behind her)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Turns to face it) A sixth one!?

(The plant gets ready to devour her when…)

Cartman/Coon: Raccoon Rocket! (Fires a missile from his RPG at the plant, blowing its head off, defeating it)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Turns to face Cartman, who is holding his RPG with his right hand and eating pizza with his left) I could've used you a few moments ago you know.

Cartman/Coon: (Takes a bite out of his slice) Sorry, I didn't have dinner yet.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sarcastically) Oh sure, go on a snack break while the rest of us fight to save Denver and the whole rest of the world too!

Cartman/Coon: At least I got here in time to kill that last one. (Takes another bite) If it weren't for me, you'd be dead right now, and unable to give Sam anymore sweet tender kisses.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sighs) I am at least grateful for that. Come on, let's finish these plants! (Runs elsewhere)

Cartman/Coon: What, don't I get a thank you hug or anything like that?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Later! (Cartman follows Wendy to help her out)

 **(Fight #8: Kenny and Kyle)**

(Kenny and Kyle notices a Gigas Fly Trap just sitting in the parking lot of a the Pepsi Center)

Kenny/Mysterion: Hmm, I've got an idea. Kyle, lend me your ear. (He whispers his plan in Kyles ear)

Kyle/Human Kite: Okay, dude, but be careful. Those things look vicious. (Flies away)

(Kenny walks up to the plant's backside and grabs some grenades form his pockets)

Kenny/Mysterion: Oddity Grenades! (Throws them at the plant, causing them to explode on impact, and he turns around to face Kenny, who runs into the Pepsi Center) Catch me if you can! (The plant gives chase)

(Kenny makes it to the main arena, and it's at that moment when the plant busts through the wall and gets ready to devour Kenny)

Kenny/Mysterion: Check and mate. KYLE, NOW!

(Kyle busts through the ceiling of the Pepsi Center and takes aim at the Gigas Fly Trap)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires a Harpoon from the top of his kite, impaling the plant through the head, causing the dark magic to drain from it and it regresses back into a seed form)

Kenny/Mysterion: Thanks, Kyle. (Fist bumps him as Kyle smiles)

 **(Fight #9: Red and Ursula)**

(Red and Ursula are getting approached by two fly traps. The two girls are standing back to back with one plant approaching Red and the other approaching Ursula)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Turns to Red) Get ready, babe

Red/Madame Knight: Let's beat these greens!

(The two girls on take on their respective plant, starting with Ursula)

(Ursula jumps up in the air to face her plant, and takes out her fan blades when she falls back down. She flips a switch on the blades and they start to glow pink)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Beauty Cross!

(Ursula slashes the plant on the head, leaving an X shaped mark that dark magic seeps out of it, defeating it. We cut to Red who dodges her plant's vines and she jumps on a wall, making sure her feet touch it. The discs under her feet activate and she starts to glow a pink aura)

Red/Madame Knight: Oh yeah! This is what real power feels like! Flowmotion: Kick Dive!

(Red jump off of the wall and the plant raises its vines in self defense. Red spins like a drill, destroying the vines, and she slams down on the ground, creating shockwaves that stun the plant)

Red/Madame Knight: Time to finish this! (Looks to find a flag pole facing horizontally from a nearby building) Bingo! (She uses her flowmotion on the flagpole and comes spinning at the dazed flytrap) Flowmotion: Wheel Rush!

(She spins right into her Gigas Fly Trap, cutting it deeply, and causing dark magic to seep out, defeating it. Red and Ursula rejoin)

Red/Madame Knight: Alright, we did it, sweetie!

(Red and Ursula are about to kiss when the latter remembers that the city is still in danger)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Nope, our game of tonsil hockey will have to wait for later!

Red/Madame Knight: (Whines) Aw, but…

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Be a good girl and continue to destroy those fly traps with me, and there might just be some finger stuff later.

Red/Madame Knight: (Perks back up and whips out her sword) Let's put these fuckers in their place!

 **(Fight #10: Kurt, Annie, and Millie)**

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes out his Gatling gun) Wild Wild Gatling!

(He fires his Gatling Gun through a fly trap's head, creating multiple bullet holes that dark magic seeps out of)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yee-haw! That's my seventh one slain! I'm on a hot streak now!

Annie/Darling Dame: (Flies by using her wings) Nice job, sweetie!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Thanks, honeybunches! How are things going for you?

Annie/Darling Dame: Working on it! Haven't exactly gotten any yet.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: That's okay. You're still a winner in my books, babe.

Annie/Darling Dame: Aw, you say such sweet things, baby! (A Gigas Fly Trap busts out of from a building a building next to her) Here we go! (She takes out one of her new machetes from a holster that's strapped to her back. It starts to glow an aquamarine color) Air Slash!

(Annie swings her machete, causing a wave of energy to fly at the fly trap, cutting it and defeating it)

Annie/Darling Dame: I got one, I got one!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Excellent babe, just don't get…(Another plant busts out of the ground and grabs Annie with its vines) Cocky…

Annie/Darling Dame: Hey, uh, Kurty. No rush but…HELP!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Whips out his pistols) Don't worry, hon, I'm com-WAH! (He gets grabbed by another plan that comes out of nowhere) Well this is a fine pickle.

(The two plants get ready to eat Kurt and Annie when…)

Millie: Flare of Justice!

(She fires to shots from her flare gun, and they hit the vines, causing the two plants to let go of Kurt and Annie, who fall on the ground with a thud)

Annie/Darling Dame: Phew, Millie are we glad to see you.

Millie: I hope you two are okay.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Aside from some butt bruising, I'm perfectly fine.

Millie: Great! Now then, allow me the honor of taking these two monstrosities down. (She walks up to them and takes out her ice beam) It's a hot night. You two need to cool off! Polar Pistol!

(Fires ice beams at the two plants freezing the two plants to the ground, but leaving their heads unfrozen)

Millie: It's over! (Takes out her grenade launcher and spear gun) Courageous Spear Gun! (Fires a spear at the right plant and it dies) One plant. (Aims her grenade launcher at the other plant) Gratuitous Grenade! (Fires a Grenade into the mouth of the other plant as it roars in rage and the plant's head explodes) Two plants. All done! (Turns and smiles at Kurt and Annie) You two are safe now.

Annie/Darling Dame: Thank you Millie, really!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah, we owe you one.

 **(Fight# 11: Craig and Tweek)**

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Decibel Destroyer!

(He fires the energy shot from his arm cannons, but the plant he is facing blocks the attack and gets ready to whip him with its vine. That's when Tweek shows up behind Craig)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Kooky Confetti!

(He fires a blast from his confetti launcher, and it blinds the plant and he misses Craig by a hare)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Holy fuck, that was close! Thanks Tweek.

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Don't mention it! (Looks up at the plant) Those vines on that thing make for a great defense system don't they?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: That's an understatement. What do you say we trim this overgrown hedge?

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Let's do it! What's the plan.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: When I say the word, do your Hyper Voice attack as loud as you can. Do it so loud that your lungs might implode on themselves.

Tweek/Preppy Prince: Got it!

(The plant gets ready to swing two of its vines down at Tweek and Craig)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Now! Scream!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Inhales Deeply) HYPER VOICE! (He shouts loudly into his megaphone, stunning the plant)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Time to cut this thing down to size! (His arm cannons revert back to their boombox form. Craig clicks an eject button multiple times and countless CDs fly out) Razor Discs!

(The discs fly at the plant and cut the vines right off)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: C'mon Tweek, we're going to put an end to that thing! When it opens up, aim for its mouth!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Got it!

(The plant opens its mouth, ready to devour Craig and Tweek in a last ditch effort to defeat them)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Do it! Treble Torpedo! (Missiles fly out of his boombox)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Celebration Cannon! (Fireworks fly out of his fireworks launcher)

(The missiles and fireworks go into the Gigas Fly Traps' mouth and it explodes, defeating it)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Fist pump) Yeah! Take that!

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Looks behind him and Craig to find three more Gigas Fly Traps about to approach them) We're not done yet, Craig!

Craig: (Looks at the three plants) I see. (Boombox morphs into arm cannons again) So, who wants to be next?

(Tweek and Craig charge and get ready to fight the other three Gigas Fly Traps)

 **(Fight #12: Cody, Bebe, Sophocles, and Jeffrey)**

(Sophocles and Jeffrey are fighting against another plant in another part of the city)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket! (Fires his attack, but the plant blocks it with his vines)

Sophocles: Soul Chopper! (A wave of energy flies from his scythe and it cuts the fly trap's vines clean off!) Hurry, Jeffrey, let's finish that thing off now before its vines grow back!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Got it!

(Suddenly, two more plants bust out of the building next to them)

Sophocles: Jesus, these things are everywhere!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Personally, I would've nuked this city.

Sophcoles: Okay, new plan…RUN!

(Jeffrey and Sophocles attempt to run away, but one of the plants quickly grabs the duo with its vines and lifts them up. The two men are staring at the plants face-to-face as the three Gigas Fly Traps are licking their lips)

Sophocles: This looks like the end!

Jeffrey: No, it can't be! There's so much I haven't done! I never learned how to play poker!

Sophocles: The things that go through your head when you stare death in the face are amazing aren't they?

(Sophocles and Jeffrey brace themselves when…)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Clears his throat) Excuse us, you green giants!

(The three plants look up to find Cody and Bebe standing on top of a building)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I believe that's my uncle you have wrapped up in your vines as well as her father!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Why don't you put them down? There will be no more problems if you do.

(The three plants blow raspberries at the two teens)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I guess we'll have to do things the hard way! (Turns to Bebe) Wait here, babe, I'll be right back. (He jumps off the building and whips out his katana) Virtuous Katana!

(He impales the first Gigas Fly Trap, causing the evil magic to drain from it. Cody takes the katana out of the plant's head and jumps towards the second one, the one who is trying to re-grow his vines)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (While in mid-air) Time to show these plants the true power of my katana! (Closes his eyes) Oh great spirits of warriors past, lend me your power! (His katana lights on fire) Hanzo's Fury!

(He lands on the head of the second plant and slashes it a couple of times before impaling him. Upon impailing the plant, Cody jumps off because the plant bursts into flames and nothing remains except ashes. Cody lands back on ground level and catches his katana as it falls back to ground level. He looks back up towards Bebe)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Okay, sweetie, it's your show now!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Thanks, darling! (Looks towards the last plant) You're all lost without your buddies, eh? Don't worry, you'll be joining them soon enough! (She takes out her ninja star) Shocking Shuriken!

(Bebe throws her shuriken and cuts the vines that are being used to hold Jeffrey and Sophocles, causing them to fall. Cody readies his staff)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fortune Bubble! (He forms a bubble around Jeffrey and Sophocles and they float to safety. The bubble disappears when they make it down to the ground safely) Gentle as a kitten in a tree.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Nice work, Codykins! (Looks back at the last plant) And as for you! (She takes out her flute, plays a tune, and activates her double flutesaber. She jumps off of the roof and gets ready to attack) Stevens' Special Sword!

(She impales the last Gigas Fly Trap with her flutesaber, and it regresses into seed form. Bebe rejoins her father, Sophocles, and Cody back on ground level)

Sophocles: You kids saved us, thank you.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Yeah, thanks Bebe. When this is over, I'm going to buy you those new heels you wanted.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Gets excited) I get free shoes! I should save you more often, daddy.

 **(Fight #13: Bridgette, Clyde, and Butters)**

(Bridgette and Clyde are about to face off against a Gigas Fly Trap)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Takes out her drumsticks) I'm going to stun this overgrown weed! When I do, babe, I need you to attack!

Clyde/Mosquito: Gotcha!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Takes out her drumsticks) Here we go! Sparking Drum Roll!

(Electricity flies out of the drumsticks and it stuns and electrocutes the plant upon making contact)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Do it! Do it now!

Clyde/Mosquito: (Gets his black mosquito robots ready) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush!

(Black mosquito robots come flying right at the Gigas Fly Trap. They get settled on the fly trap's head and explode, defeating it)

Clyde/Mosquito: Boom-Boom, baby!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: We make a good team!

Clyde/Mosquito: You know it!

(One more plant busts out from the building behind them and gets ready to attack)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Holy moly!

(The plant gets ready to attack when…)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Comes flying down from the sky and holds his hand out) Time to see what Sophocles did to my gauntlets to make them awesome! (He places his palm on the head of the plant) Gravity Shock!

(A wave of energy breaks over the plant, causing it to lose gravity and just float in midair, unable to move or do anything)

Clyde/Mosquito: Butters did it! He immobilized the plant!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Now's our chance! Let's attack it!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Let me help! (His gloves start to glow and storm clouds appear) Thunderstorm! (Lightning bolts fall from the sky)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (The rings on her fingers glow) Holy Blast! (10 beams of light fly from the rings)

Clyde/Mosquito: (Calls upon his white mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Lazer League! (They fire their lazers)

(The three attacks hit the plant and it explodes resulting in its defeat. Clyde, Bridgette, and Butters cheer upon defeating it. Meanwhile, at Bianca's oil refinery, she notices the destruction of Denver slowing down)

Bianca: Something's wrong?! My beautiful plants are…dying! I've got to check this out. (She holds out her arms, causing a bunch of leaves to envelop her. She disappears when the leaves blow away)

(A quick montage of every one of the South Park Saints giving the remaining Gigas Fly Traps hell. **BAM! POW! SLASH! CRASH! WOOSH!** Countless attacks hit the fly traps. Eventually, Sir Justice impales the last Gigas Fly Trap through the head, defeating it. The battle of Denver is won. Sir Justice rejoins the rest of his team at the park and Kevin's arms go back to normal)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Collapses on his back and looks up at the night sky) Aw man, that fucking sucked! But at least we saved the city of Denver from those…things.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Looks at the destruction around them) I can't believe all of the damage they caused.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Let's just be glad that we stopped those fly traps before they caused any further harm.

Sophocles: I just don't get it. Why would someone like Bianca Thorne create something that can level entire cities? Furthermore, why would she of all people be an advocate. This all just doesn't make sense to me.

(Maria and Apollo gasp in shock)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hey, Maria, Apollo, what is it?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: We sense something! Something coming right this way!

Token/Tupper Wear: What?! But I thought we defeated all of those plants.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: No, it's something else entirely!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: It's coming in fast!

(Suddenly, they feel a cool wind blow through the area)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: (Gets in fighting position) Get ready, guys, I think we're about to encounter the one responsible for all this!

(A bunch of autumn leaves whirl in one spot and when the whirlwind ends, Bianca Thorne is there)

Bianca: (Looks at the South Park Saints) So you're the band of Gigas Fly Trap Killers.

Sam/Sir Justice: And you must be Bianca Thorne: Renowned botanist, and most likely Satan's sixth advocate, correct?

Bianca: That's quite the assumption, but yes, you're right.

Sophocles: Why, Bianca, why would you do this?! Why would you turn your beautiful creations against us?

Bianca: I did it because everyone is raping this Earth! People burn oil and gasoline, they don't care where they throw out their trash, they tear down countless trees to meet their own needs, and worse of all…(Under her breath) They took _him_ away from me. (Outloud) I decided to deal with you all with the brutal vengeance of nature! And that's where my beloved Gigas Fly Traps come into play. They were meant to harvest the blood necessary to revive Damien. Once they eat a person, they'd store the person's nutrients, that being their blood, in their vines, and then when we got enough people, they'd drain the blood from their vines and give it to me so that I could revive Damien and we could create a beautiful world before all of the cars, factories, and deforestation.

Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Look, Ms. Thorne, while we admit you have valid reasons for hating what we've been doing as a species, this is the absolute wrong way to go about it.

Bianca: The wrong way? Oh please! Humans only understand one thing: violence! If I have to use violence to obtain a beautiful world, then so be it.

Sam/Sir Justice: Bianca, you have gone too far! We have no choice but to oppose you! (Whips out lightsaber) We're going to deal with you the only way we know how!

Bianca: Well now, it seems like you're asking for a fight. I'm willing to bet that you're going to beat me and arrest me, just like the five advocates before me.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Takes out pistols) Quit screwing around and let's do this thing!

Bianca: Very well, we shall do battle. But not here. If you all want to fight, then come and find me at my hideout, the Burnstone Oil Refinery. It's just outside of the city.

Kyle/Human Kite: Wait you have your base of operations at an oil refinery…and yet you are someone that loves nature, uses plants for minions and most likely attacks, and hates things such as oil that ruin the environment.

Kevin: The irony is strong with this advocate.

Bianca: (Ignores the comments) The Burnstone Oil Refinery is where we shall have our final battle. (Leaves begin to envelop her again) Please don't keep me waiting. (She disappears)

(Sam begins to head off for the Burnstone Oil Refinery)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Sam, where are you going?

Sam/Sir Justice: Didn't you hear Bianca? She wants us to meet her at the Burnstone Oil Refinery. And if she's allied with Satan, we need to take her down ASAP!

Mephesto: Do you even know where the oil refinery is?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Rather upbeat) Not a clue!

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Let me come with you then. I know the way. I worked an internship there in the late 90s.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Smiles) Thanks, Mr. Stevens.

Wendy/Fuchsia: Hope you plan on bringing me along.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: And me too.

Sam/Sir Justice: Of course. The more help the better. (Turns to the rest of the team) Who else wants to help in taking this eco-unfriendly bitch?

(More of the saints step up to join Sam, and now the following Saints are heading for Burnstone Oil Refinery: Sam, Jeffrey, Wendy, Doug, Cody, Bebe, Stan, Sophocles, Apollo, Maria, Craig, Clyde, Bridgette, Annie, Butters, and Kurt)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at his group of 16) Alright, it's settled. The 16 of us are heading for the Burnstone Oil Refinery!

Annie/Darling Dame: Oh, yes! I am so ready for this!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: We all are, Annie. (Turns to Jeffrey) Just lead the way, Mr. Stevens, and we'll all follow.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: You got it.

Stan/Tool Shed: Wish us luck, everyone.

Kyle/Human Kite: You know it, Stan. Just don't do anything too crazy.

Stan/Tool Shed: No promises.

Red/Madame Knight: Good luck everyone. Ursula and I would come with you but…we have to do some finger exercises (Blushes).

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Blushes) Yeah, our fingers cramp up from holding our blades for so long and it's better if we give our fingers some exercise.

Sam/Sir Justice: Do as you please.

Red/Madame Knight: Oh we will (She and Ursula giggle amongst themselves).

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Okay everyone, good luck, we're all counting on you!

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks, Leon.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: We all ready? Let's move out everyone! (The group of 16 follow Jeffrey to the oil refinery while the rest of the saints head back for South Park)

(Back on the city limits, everyone is rejoicing that the Gigas Fly Traps are defeated. The Saints that aren't heading for the refinery leave the city and they pass Kelly, who is just standing around)

Kelly: (Runs up to the rest of the Saints) Hey, guys, you did it!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: We sure did! We taught those green suckers what happens when you mess with the saints, meow!

Kelly: (Looks around at the group) Where's the rest of your group?

Kenny/Mysterion: They're heading for the Burnstone Oil Refinery outside of town. We found out that Bianca Thorne is the sixth advocate and they're going there to face off against her.

Kelly: Even Sam!?

Token/Tupper Wear: Of course.

(Kelly looks to see Sam and his group running down a pathway towards the Burnstone Oil Refinery)

Kelly: I've got to help him somehow! (She runs to a nearby fire truck and grabs one of the axes and she runs after him) Hang on, Sammy, I'm coming!

Kyle/Human Kite: Kelly, stop!

(Too late, she's already out of view)

Token/Tupper Wear: I sure hope Kelly knows what she's doing.

(Kelly rushes after Sam and his group. Everyone is getting ready to face off against Bianca Thorne, only time will tell what the outcome of this fight will be)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**


	18. The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 3)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 17: The Green Thumb of Evil (Part 3)

(At the Burnstone Oil Refinery, Bianca is just walking down one of the hallways minding her own business. She appears to be heading for a door that lays at the end of the hallway. She looks at it and then reaches into her pocket for some a key)

Bianca: I told those Saints that if they were looking for a fight to come and find me here. (She grabs her key and tries to unlock the door) But I never said anything about getting help on my side. (She opens the door and inside are a bunch of shadowy figures with yellow eyes) Rise and shine my pets! We have company coming and I want to make sure they're entertained. (Grins evilly) This is going to be good!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (10 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, and Bianca). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(The 16 saints that left for Burnstone Oil Refinery in the last episode finally arrive to the aforementioned oil refinery)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: There it is everyone, the Burnstone Oil Refinery. I told you I'd find it.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: We never doubted you for a second, sir.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: So Bianca is in there, eh?

(The Saints look upon the Oil Refinery in awe due to the sheer size)

Annie/Darling Dame: It looks like a place where you could easily get lost.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Yeah is it a pretty huge place, and it is very easy to get lost. Did I ever tell any of you the first day of my internship? Oh it's a story I always love to tell. So it's my breaktime, right, and I'm looking for the cafeteria and…

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Stevens, not trying to sound rude, but we kind of have an advocate to defeat.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Right. I haven't forgotten.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Hmm…so should we sneak inside or just use the front door if Bianca is expecting us?

(Suddenly the front door to the oil refinery opens)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: I guess your question has been answered.

Sam/Sir Justice: Come along everyone. Let's take Bianca down!

(Before the 16 Saints can continue any further…a bunch of monsters come out of the front door ready for a fight. These monsters have yellow eyes and are composed of organic materials such as dirty, grass, rocks, flowers, etc. These things are Bianca's Forces of Nature…yes the same Forces of Nature from Kid Icarus: Uprising)

Flage #1: Hey, are you the South Park Saints.

Clyde/Mosquito: What's it to you, Jell-o Boy?

Flage #1: We are the Forces of Nature, Bianca's henchmen and enforcers.

Nutski #1: Bianca created all of us after joining forces with Satan, all for the sole purpose on helping her achieve her goal: The extermination of mankind!

Urgle #1: We've made it our point to destroy anyone that gets in the way of our master's goal, I.E you motherfuckers!

Megonta #1: We are to take no prisoners. If you 16 bozos take one more step, you're entering a world of pain.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: We're not afraid of you Tim Burton rejects.

Blader #1: You should be.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: No not really. Besides, most of you look really cute. Especially that apple-looking one over there (Points at a Clobbler in its inactive form)

Clobbler #1: Aw, thanks. You're quite the fox yourself, blondie.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I appreciate the compliment, but I have a boyfriend already! Besides, you're not my type.

Clobbler #1: Aww, rats!

Urgle #1: Chuck, you know better than to hit on the enemy. What does Bianca always say?

Clobbler #1: (Groans) If she's got a stem and some roots, it's time to knock those boots. But if she's got two legs and skin, throw her right into the garbage bin.

Urgle #1: (Pats the Clobbler's back) Attaboy!

Sam/Sir Justice: Cute motto. (Whips out lightsaber) It won't change the fact that we're going to make a Caesar salad out of you all!

Blader #2: Bring it on, Big Bird!

Zert #1: Come on, men, charge!

Meeba #1: For Bianca!

(The Forces of nature come at our 16 heroes, who are looking at the stampeding army coming at them)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: What are you all waiting for? (His boombox turns into armored hands) Let's kill these bitches! (He charges into battle as the rest of the saints just stare in amazement and confusion)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You know, when I was in college, I ate a "special brownie," and I saw some shit like this…now it's actually come to life.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well they're not going to disappear if we just stand here like a pack of morons. (Charges into battle as he spins his lightsaber) Let's go help, Craig! RAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Sam's right, everyone! Let's get rid of these freaks of nature! Full speed ahead! (He charges into battle as does the rest of the team)

 **(Fight #1: Sam and Wendy)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Comes charging at three Trynamites and a Boom Stomper)

Trynamite #1: Let's go get him!

Trynamite #2: (Turns back at the Boom Stomper) Hang back, Boomer, we'll take care of this kid.

(The three Trynamite charge at Sam. Upon getting closer to Sam, the three Trynamites make their move)

Trynamites: Split Formation!

(The three trynamites break up into nine total pieces and they fly at Sam fast)

Sam/Sir Justice: Annie's Shield! (He takes out his shield and blocks the nine Trynamite projectiles and they break upon contact with the shield. He makes it to the Boom Stomper…who jump high in the air before Sam could even touch it) Damn it!

(The Boom Stomper gets ready to crush Sam with its weight when…)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Inferno Tackle! (She flies at the Boom Stomper in a fireball before it could crush Sam, and hits it, causing it to fly a decent distance away from Sam)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey, thanks, sweetie.

(Wendy just smiles and nods at him)

 **(Fight #2: Annie and Kurt)**

(Annie is flying through the air, and three Nutskis, three Parashooters, and two Bladers are flying after her)

Nutski #2: We almost got her, boys! Get ready to fire!

Parashooter #1: Roger that!

Nutskis: Seed Bomb! (Fires Seed looking projectiles from their mouths)

Parashooters: Sky Cutter! (Fires air slashes)

Bladers: Nature Shot! (Fires green blasts of energy from their eyes)

(The attacks come flying at Annie, but she dodges by quickly flipping and ending up behind the eight enemies)

Blader #2: Uh oh, we're in trouble.

Annie/Darling Dame: Butterfly's Maelstrom! (Fires rainbow beams at 7 of the 8 monsters and only a Nutski is left alive)

Nutski #3: Please spare me, Madama Butterfly.

Annie/Darling Dame: I don't think so. (She grabs her machetes and hooks them together to make a big pair of scissors. She flies fast at the Nutski and get ready to attack) Sonic Scissors! (Splits the Nutski in two, killing it. Annie looks at her scissor/machetes and says…) I love these things.

(Suddenly, a big Lurchthorn comes up behind her)

Lurchthorn: Oh, pretty butterfly. (Annie faces the monster) Oh wait, it's just a teenager.

Annie/Darling Dame: You're a lot bigger than those enemies I faced just now, but I think I can take you.

(She flies fast towards the Lurchthorn, but he starts to she and missiles and energy shots fly from its body. Annie is having a hard time dodging, but when she thinks she finally got through the storm of attacks, the Lurchthorn whacks Annie down to the ground with its tail. The Lurchthorn gets ready to attack again)

Lurchthorn: It's time to end this. Bye, bye, butterfly.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (He fires rounds from his Gatling Gun and destroys his body, but only his head is intact)

Lurchthorn: Uh oh! My beautiful body is gone!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Helps Annie up) You okay?

Annie/Darling Dame: Yes, Kurt. Thanks for your help.

Lurchthorn: Looks like this is going to be a suicide mission! Look out below! (He charges downwards towards Kurt and Annie, but they ready their guns)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Radiant Revolvers!

Annie/Darling Dame: Bullets of the Rising Sun!

(They fire their bullets, and they hit the Lurchthorn's head, killing it

 **(Fight #3: Stan)**

Stan: Hectic Hammer! (He whacks a Nutski with his hammer, sending it flying in the air…but then)

Bumpety Bomb: (Gets ready to blow up) For Bianca! Die human!

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer! (He hits the Bumpety Bomb and it lands in a group of Bladers and Trynamites)

Bladers and Trynamites: Bumpety Bobby!

Bumpety Bomb: (Realizes what's about to happen) Oh shi…

 _ **KABLAM!**_

(The Bumpety Bomb explodes, killing it and the group of Bladers and Trynamites it landed in)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Twirls his hammer in his hand) Who's next?

Pip #1: Tally ho! (A Pip tackles Stan in the back of the head. The enemy recognizes his opponent) Stan, is that you old chap?

Stan/Tool Shed: (Gets up) I know that voice? Is that…

Pip #1: Cheerio, Stan! It's me, Pip!

Stan/Tool Shed: Pip, it's been ages! What happened to you?

Pip #1: You remember when I got stomped to death by Mecha-Streisand all those years ago?

Stan/Tool Shed: Yeah, that was crazy.

Pip #1: Well, Satan got a hold of my soul and he decided to reincarnate me as this gelatinous nature boy, splitting my soul into multiple parts in the process so that there can be more of me. Look, there's another one of me now! (Another Pip comes up to see Stan)

Pip #2: Cheerio, Pip!

Pip #1: Cheerio to you too, Pip. So, shall we teach Stan a lesson for interfering with our boss' plans?

Pip #2: Oh of course. (Turns to face Stan) Nothing personal, Stan old boy.

Stan/Tool Shed: Just get out of my face! Hammer Cannon! (Fires two energy blasts from the hammer's face at the two Pips, but they split into two, now there are Four Pips total)

The Four Pips: Surprised, old boy?

(The four pips tackle Stan and knock him to the ground. He gets back up and gets ready to attack)

Stan/Tool Shed: I'm getting tired of you all! (His wrench starts to spark) Shocking Wrench-a-rang!

(He tosses his wrench, and it hits the our Pips, this time killing them off)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Catches his wrench) I thought Pip was annoying enough when there was just one of him _and_ when he was a human.

 **(Fight #4: Craig and Butters)**

(Butters is facing off against an Urgle)

Urgle #2: Brutish Bark Bash! (He punches Butters in the face, sending him back a bit. He gets up and materializes his Lightning Spear)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Spear! (He throws the electric spear and impales the Urgle, killing him. A horde of Parashooters come to face Butters after that) Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity from his fingertips, and kills the Parashooters) Dead as disco! (Turns to face Craig, who is facing off against a Boom Stomper) How are you doing, Craig?

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Trying to blast the Boom Stomper with his Decibel Destroyer attack) I'm holding my own here!

(Butters sees a Bumpety Bomb that about to explode heading straight for Craig)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Craig, look out! (He runs up to the Bumpety Bomb) Gravity Shock! (He places his hand on the bomb, causing it to float due to gravity loss) Get out of the way, Craig!

(Craig ducks down, and Butters tosses the Bumpety Bomb at the Boom Stomper, killing both enemies)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Nice one, Butters!

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Smiles) Thanks. (He doesn't notice a Zert coming up behind him)

Zert #1: Nature's Zap! (He fires an electric beam at Butters, hurting him, and causing him to scream) Mmm, I love the smell of overcooked Saint in the morning! Smells like victory!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (With armored hands and arms) Hey asshole, leave my pal alone! Boom Bop!

(He punches the Zert's lights out, knocking him unconscious)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Panting) Thank you Craig. That was scary.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: It's just me returning the favor of you helping me take down that rock monster.

 **(Fight #5: Cody, Bebe, Sophocles, Jeffrey)**

(Cody is fighting two Dibble Dops. He charges at the two enemies, katana blazing)

Dibble Dops: Hydro Pillar!

(The two Dibble Dops toss water projectiles from their mouths, erecting watery pillars when the projectiles hit the ground. Cody expertly dodges them and jumps up)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Virtuous Katana! (He cuts one of the Dibble Dops in half, and the second one looks scared) End of the line, water boy! (His sword blazes) Hanzo's Fury! (He stabs the second Dibble Dop, and it ignites into flames, leaving nothing but ashes in front of Cody) Hmph, child's play.

(Suddenly, an explosive projectile comes flying right at him, and blows Cody a few feet. Cody gets up and sees that the projectile came from a nearby Megonta)

Megonta #1: (Laughs)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: So that's how you want to play it, huh? (His staff charges up) Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax!

(He fires a pink energy blast and hits the Megonta. But when the smoke clears, the Megonta is still standing)

Cody/Mr. Glenteman: (Gasps) That's impossible!

Megonta #1: This shell is impervious to any and all of your attacks. Now it's my turn! Megonta's Mega Steamroller!

(The Megonta rolls into a ball and rolls its way towards Cody. It's at this moment when a bunch of swords appear and form a line in front of the Megonta…It's Bebe)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Electric Barrier!

(The electric barrier activates and it stuns the Megonta, causing it to flip on its back, revealing its weak point)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Shocking Shuriken! (Tosses her ninja star at the weak point and kills the Megonta)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Thanks, darling. You're so awesome. What would I do without you?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Shrugs her shoulders when suddenly…)

Clobbler #1: (Jumps out of nowhere) Die humans!

(Bebe just kicks the Clobbler to the side)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: That guy is cute but laughably weak…and very annoying.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Gets up) Ain't that the truth.

(Suddenly, the Clobbler gets up angry)

Clobbler #1: You shouldn't have done that, girlie. You just messed with a bull, bitch! Now here comes the horns! (He transforms into its ugly, active form)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Oh my God!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: That is fucking hideous!

Clobbler #1: **YOUR ASS IS GRASS, KIDS!** (He begins to charge at Cody and Bebe fast, whacking them hard with hands upon arriving to them) **PREPARE TO GET CRUSHED LIKE THE LITTLE, INSIGNIFICANT BUGS YOU ARE!**

(Suddenly…)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Ravenous Rapier!

Sophocles: Scythe Full Swing!

(The two blades cut the Clobbler's arms off)

Clobbler #1: **ARGH! GODDAMN YOU OLD MEN! ONCE MY ARMS GROW BACK, I WILL CRUSH YOU TWO INTO OBLIVION!**

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Tosses a sword in its face) Put a sock in it.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax! (Fires a blast of pink energy and kills the Clobbler)

 **(Fight #6: Apollo and Maria)**

(Apollo is facing off against three Badoots)

Badoots: Stun Blast! (The three of them fire small blasts of electricity from their eyes, but Apollo teleports away before they can even tough him)

Badoot #1: Where did he go?

Badoot #2: (Sees Apollo hovering above them) Up there!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psycho Arrow! (Fires arrows made of blue energy and they impale the three Badoots, killing them. A smirks, still floating in mid-air) Who else has a death wish tonight?

Voice: Not I fellow enemy!

(Suddenly, the source of the voice, a Captain Flare, appears in front of him)

Captain Flare #1: Born of the flames created by the most perfect of flint stones, I am Captain Flare!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: You're annoying is what you are.

Captain Flare #1: (He opens his cape, which glow) Try my Mystic Meteor attack on for size, brute!

(He fires a meteor at Apollo, and it knocks him down to the ground)

Captain Flare #1: (Two flages appear at his side) Now, my Flage brethren! Smite this heathen in the name of Master Bianca!

Flage #1: It will be our pleasure.

(The two Flages come down on Apollo, ready to slash him, but luckily Maria appeared at the last possible second and she blocks their slashes with her psychic sword)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: If you bog scum scumbags think you're going to hurt my brother, you've got another thing coming! (She pushes the two Flages back)

Flage #2: (Turns to Captain Flare) Problem boss. We're dealing with one tough bitch over here.

Captain Flare #1: Fear not, my comrades, I have a plan! (Whistles)

(A Cacaw comes up to face Maria)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: That's it…a little birdie…that's your ace in the hole. Oh well, I'll just roll with it! (Her fists get enveloped by a pink energy and she charges at the Cacaw)

Captain Flare #1: (Looks down at the Cacaw and smiles) Now…

(The Cacaw screeches loudly and it stuns Maria. Not only that but…)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Tries to stand up, but can't. She's too dizzy) Ugh, what did you do? (She can't see straight) Why is there three of you?

Captain Flare #1: Perfect! Go, Flages!

(The two Flages charge at the dazed Maria, who looks up at the Flages coming at her. She tries to attack them anyway)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Bomb! (Fires bombs of psychic energy and misses the Flages)

Flage #2: Ha! You missed us by a mile dumbass!

Flage #1: Get ready, because here we come!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psychotic Knuckle! (He charges at the two Flages and punches them away from Maria) I won't let you hurt my sister! Psycho Bomb! (He fires blue bombs at the Flages and kills them)

Captain Flare #1: Uh oh, Cacaw, do something!

(The Cacaw clears its throat, ready to screech again)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Oh no! You're not getting me with that move! Psycho Arrow! (Fires blue arrows at the Cacaw, killing it)

Captain Flare #1: This is bad!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Looks at Maria) Maria, are you okay?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: (Gets her bearings straight) Yeah, I think so.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Great, now let's finish this asshole! (Points at Captain Flare)

Captain Flare #1: Screw this! I'm out of here! (He tries to fly away but…)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psychic Grip!

(He holds the Captian Flare in place with his powers)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Psycho Arrow! (Fires Arrows of psychic energy at the Captain Flare, killing it)

 **(Fight #7: Doug)**

(A Jitterthug, in its green-ranged mode, looks at Doug from a distance and forms an orange bomb like projectile)

Jitterthug #1: Jitter Toss! (He tosses the bomb and throws it at Doug, who dodges out of the way)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You're mine now, fella! Viper's Cold Reception!

(He fires an icy blast at he Jitterthug, which hits him but does no damage. Instead, a blue aura forms around him)

Jitterthug #1: Old dude, you messed with the wrong minion!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Takes offense to the comment) Uh…old dude?

Jitterthug #1: (Forms three projectiles) Jitter Rapid Fire! (He quickly throw the three projectiles, and while Doug manages to dodge the first two, he gets hit and goes flying thanks to the third one) Now to finish this! (He turns red and switches forms. He charges at Doug who is just getting up)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Looking at the Jitterthug charging at him) If ranged attacks didn't work when he was green, maybe they'll work now that he's changed forms? (He gets up and charges another attack) Viper's Cold Reception!

(He fires an Icy Blast at the Jitterthug and it hurts it this time)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: (Sees that he did damage) Alright, I was right! Hit the guy with ranged attacks when he's red, and punch and kick him when he's green! Okay, Doug, let's take this asshole down! (He charges at him and the Jitterthug gets back up and turns green)

Jitterthug #1: Jitter Toss! (He tosses the projectile and Doug dodges, causing him to do a counterattack)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Raging Kick! (He roundhouses the Jitterthug in the face, knocking it unconscious) Alright! I'm so pumped up after that! I feel like I can take on anything now!

(As soon as he says that, another explosive projectile comes from behind him and blows him away. Doug gets up to find himself face to face with two Pew Pews, two Lethiniums, and a Mudrone)

Pew Pew #1: Boy, pops, you sure took care of that guy.

Pew Pew #2: Yeah. Now let's see how you fare against the likes of us.

Mudrone: That's right. I might be a pile of mud, but I'm tougher than even the toughest of our Boom Stom—

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception! (He hits the Mudrone and it turns back into a pile of mud) Four down five to go.

Lethinium #1: Wait for it…

(The Mudrone rises back up)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: What the hell!?

Mudrone: In order to completely destroy me, I have to be defeated three ti—

(Another Viper's Cold Reception hits Mudrone and it goes down)

Lethinium #2: (Turns towards Doug) Will you cut that out.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You're the enemy, what do you expect for me to stop attacking and let you five rant?

Lethinum #2: Yes!

(The Mudrone rises back up for the third and final time)

Mudrone: Fuck this guy! Let's kill him!

Lethiniums and Pew Pews: Yeah!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Here I come! (He charges at the five enemies)

Mudrone: Let's show this kook how we do things!

Pew Pew #1: Yeah! (The enemies get ready to attack)

Lethiniums: Blossom Burst! (Fires lazers)

Pew Pews: Pew Pew Pellet! (Fire explosive projectiles)

Mudrone: Devine Destroyer! (Fires lazers from the gems on its body)

(Doug dodges all of the enemy attacks and makes it to the five minions)

Pew Pew #2: Gah!

Lethinium #1: Damn it!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Get ready! Furious Flurry! (He unleashes a barrage of punches on the Pew Pews, the Lethiniums, and the Mudrone, defeating the former two and sending the latter one flying due to an uppercut) Don't fuck with the old dude, dude!

 **(Fight #8: Clyde and Bridgette)**

(Bridgette and Clyde are surrounded by six Skreetles. The six enemies are running around the duo swiftly)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: When do we attack them?

Clyde/Mosquito: I don't know. They're moving too fast.

Skreetles: Attack! (They stand up for a moment and fire beams from their backs. Bridgette and Clyde dodge quickly)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Clyde! I got it! They only stand still when they're ready to attack! I'll distract them, and when they set still, launch an immediate counterattack!

Clyde/Mosquito: Babe, you're a fucking genius! Let's do it! (He flies in the air and Bridgette gets ready to fight)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Hey, little buggies! It's me you want! (Takes out trumpet) Trumpet of the Gods! (Fires a blast of energy and fires it at the ground around the Skreetles, catching their attention. The bugs immediately circle Bridgette) That's right, pests, circle around me. (The Skreetles stand up, ready to attack) Now, Clyde, now!

Clyde/Mosquito: Got it! (Takes out black mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush! (The black mosquito bombs fly and land on each and every one of the six Skreetles, causing them to get scared)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Well…see ya! (She quickly escapes the circle before the Skreetles blow up. She smiles at their defeat) Alright! We got them!

(Suddenly, a Hugworm busts out of the ground…)

Hugworm: Where do you think you're going?

(…and wraps Bridgette up, squeezing her tight)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Gah! Help…me…

Clyde/Mosquito: Bridgette! (He flies down to try and help, but a Mahva blocks his path and sets up a big Barrier. Clyde takes out his gun) Mosquito Mob: Bug Bullets! (The Mahva glares at him) Out of my way! (He fires round upon round from his gun, but it won't break. The Mahva is giving it all it has)

Mahva #1: Feckless, bug! You'll never break my barrier in time to save your precious girlfriend!

(Clyde continues to try and shoot down the Mahva's shield as we cut to Bridgette, who is still being choked to death by the Hugworm. Bridgette tries to reach for her drumsticks in her pockets. After much struggleing, she grabs them and uses them)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Sparking…Drum Roll!

(She electrocutes herself and the Hugworm. She ends up killing the Hugworm, who loosens its grip on her and falls to the ground. And as for Bridgette herself, her hair is all frizzy due to the electricity of her attack. She quickly brushes over it with her hands, and the hair goes back to its normal state. She looks up at Clyde, who is still trying to break down the Mahva's shiled

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Takes out her trumpet) Trumpet of the Gods! (Fires an energy blast and hits the Mahva from the back, killing it and destroying the barrier. Clyde looks around in confusion) Hey, Clyde, down here! (She waves at him)

Clyde/Mosquito: Babe, you're okay! (Flies down on ground level to join her)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Was there any ever doubt?

Clyde/Mosquito: No way. So what next?

(Suddenly, a purple bomb comes down and covers the duo in a purple smog. It turns out to have come from a Toxicap, who has a Meeba standing by its side)

Toxicap #1: What idiots! Meeba, feel free to walk in there and mow 'em down!

Meeba #1: Gotcha! (He runs into the purple fog to try and take down Bridgette and Clyde)

(45 seconds later and the Toxicap gets impatient, waiting for the Meeba to return)

Toxicap #1: Sheesh, what's taking him so long? He should be back by now. (Under his breath) Best Meeba in the army my leafy green ass. Master Bianca is certainly going to hear about this when this is all over.

(Suddenly the fog is all clear and it turns out Clyde and Bridgette killed the Meeba, and now they're ready to do the same to the Toxicap)

Clyde/Mosquito: Hey, mushroom guy. I think this is the part where you're supposed to run away.

(The Toxicap runs away)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: What do you think, should we let him go?

Clyde/Mosquito: Um….nah!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Good choice!

(A quick Trumpet of the Gods and a Mosquito Mob: Lazer League and that Toxicap bites the dust)

(We finally cut back to Sam and Craig, who are fighting Zerts, Urgles, and Bladers)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (Punches an Urgle in the face) Sam, this is getting us nowhere! We have to find Bianca!

Sam/Sir Justice: (In a struggle with a Blader) I know! But these assholes won't let us in the oil refinery to look for her! (He pushes the Blader back and cuts it in half) I have a plan. Wendy, Doug! (Doug and Wendy turn to face Sam) The three of us are going into the refinery! Everyone else, cover us!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Okay, let's do this!

(Sam, Wendy, and Doug make a mad dash for the refinery, but a Parashooter, a Pew Pew, and a Captain Flare get ready to attack them from behind)

Parashooter #4: Oh no you don't!

Captain Flare #2: Stop these rapscallions, my brothers!

Pew Pew #3: You got it!

Stan/Tool Shed: Not if we have anything to say about it!

(Stan, Annie, and Cody come to the rescue)

Stan/Tool Shed: Drill Launcher! (Fires a drillbit and it lands in the Captain Flare's eye, killing it)

Annie/Darling Dame: Razor Wing! (Using her razor edged butterfly wings, she cuts the Parashooter in half)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Hanzo's Fury! (Impales the Pew Pew, causing it to burst into flames and get reduced into ash) Run! Hurry! Get in there and show Bianca who's boss! Show her what happens when you destroy a city and take blood of innocent people.

Sam/Sir Justice: With pleasure! (Sam, Wendy, and Doug run inside the oil refinery and leave the rest of their allies to fight the remaining army outside. Meanwhile, Kelly finally makes it through the forest surrounding the refinery. She looks at the building that stands before her and holds up the axe she obtained from the last part)

(Cut to inside the oil refinery where Sam, Doug, and Wendy are sneakily running through the halls of the Burnstone Oil Refinery in search of Bianca Thorne. The hallways are desolate, and dirty with broken glass, flickering lights, shattered tiles, holes in the walls, and moss, grasses, and dirt all over the place. Eventually they stop in the middle of an intersection with three other hallways)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Bianca could be down any one of these hallways.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well, there are three of us. Are you suggesting that we split up and take a hallway and hope that Bianca is hiding down one of them?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Nods her head)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Okay. Sam, I guess you take the hallway on the left. Wendy, you take the hallway on the right. I'll take the remaining hallway in between. If anything happens, just holler, and I'll come running to help you. I trust you two will do the same if I find myself in trouble.

Sam/Sir Justice: You know it Mr. Test…I mean Doug. (Blushes out of embarrassment) Sorry, still getting used to the whole first name basis thing.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: You'll get used to it. But enough talking, let's get back to the mission at hand.

Sam/Sir Justice & Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Right!

(The trio split up and take a hallway)

 **(Hallway #1: Wendy (Ladies first eh?))**

(Wendy, holding a small fireball in her left hand as a torch, walks down a dark, ruined, and empty hallway. As she walks, she passes a room with a huge glass window. She looks in and finds a bunch of Gigas Fly Traps in their smaller and weaker form sitting on shelves and tables)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Bianca has more of those things on standby! We should make it a point to destroy them before she unleashes them upon the world.

(Wendy continues walking down the hallway when she decides to search another room. This room appears to have been the refinery's cafeteria. It's just as ruined and grass/moss filled as the hallways, but the tables and chairs are still in even rows. Wendy walks across the abandoned cafeteria until she reaches the doors to the kitchen. She enters the equally ruined kitchen and the first thing she sees is a big basket of fruits with a note attached to them. She reads it and it says…)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Reading the note) The fruits that make me think of him. (Takes a moment to look at the fruits) What does that mean? Who is she talking about?

(She is distracted by another thing that catches her eye, a manila folder just sitting on one of the counters. She grabs it and takes out the contents. The first thing in the folder is the picture of the mysterious man Bianca was looking at earlier. The next picture she sees is Bianca and that same man on their wedding day)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Maybe the man she was talking about on that note was this man here…her husband.

(She keeps looking at the folder's contents. The third photo appears to be of Bianca and the man's vacation in Germany. They are standing in front of the sign that reads, "Black Forest.")

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Of course a botanist like Bianca would love a place like the Black Forest. Maybe this man was a botanist too. He looks equally excited.

(The fourth item isn't a picture, but a doctor's note. It reads: "Jonathan Thorne diagnosed with Terminal Cancer." Wendy frowns a little after reading this. She looks at the final item in the folder which appears to be a recipe of ingredients that can be used to make a serum that would cure Jonathan's ailments)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Nature's Last Reward Serum…(She reads the ingredients and sees that they are all commonly found in South America) She must've failed in getting these ingredients, and she keeps this recipe and her husband's diagnosis as a reminder of her failure. But why would she still have these if it brings back too many painful memories for her?

 **(Hallway #2: Doug)**

(Doug is walking down his hallway very quietly, making sure not to arouse any suspicion. He eventually reaches the end of the hall where a door that "Office" stands in front of him)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: If I had to guess, Bianca might be waiting for us in that office.

(He clenches his fist and punches the door down. He sees that the office has broken windows, a big desk with potted plants in the center, a cozy red chair behind that desk, a bed with green sheets to the right of the room, a filing cabinet to the left of the room, and the whole room is covered in flowers, plants, grasses, and moss, just like the rest of the hallways)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Oh yeah, this is definitely Bianca's room. But no sign of her (He looks at the filing cabinet) Maybe that filing cabinet will hold some clues.

(Doug opens up the cabinet and finds, among other things, a journal. He takes the journal out of the cabinet and decides to read it. He reads Journal Entry #1 aloud)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: August 14th, 2012: Today, I met the most handsome man in the world. He's new to our labs, and he was transferred from Cleveland, Ohio to our botany labs here in Denver. His name is Jonathan Thorne. He and I met at lunch break today and he really does know how to treat a lady, offering me a seat and pulling it out for me, offering the last half of his sandwich, and complementing me on my hair. I know it's still too early, but I think I might be in love with this man. I'll ask him out on a date later this week and we'll see what happens from there.

(Doug flips a few pages and reads the next journal entry

Doug/Cerulean Viper: December 25th, 2014: I can't believe it! Jonathan proposed to me today! Talk about a Merry Christmas. We were supposed to meet at my parents house for Christmas Dinner, and when I was looking for my favorite sweater, that's when I saw the ring box. When I opened it, I saw the most beautiful ring with an emerald jewel on it. That's when he said, "Bianca, my beautiful flower, will you marry me?" I hugged him tightly and said that I most certainly would marry him. We plan on having the wedding sometime in the summer of 2015. We spent the whole drive to my parents house talking about the plans that we have for the future.

(Doug flips some more pages to get to the next journal entry)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: October 6th, 2016: How terrible! My poor Jonathan was diagnosed with terminal cancer yesterday. Doctors say that it's spreading rapidly and he's lucky if he makes it to the New Year. He doesn't seem worried at all, but I know deep down he's scared to death about what's going to happen to him. I'm just as, if not, more scared than he is. That's why I have a plan. I read something online about a serum called, Nature's Last Reward. It can cure any known disease no matter how fatal. I can only find the ingredients in South America, however. My brother and I will take a flight down there this Thursday in hopes of finding the ingredients needed. I shall also film my expedition in hopes that others can learn of this serum and make this world a better place. I hope this expedition turns out fruitful and I get to have my Jonathan for many years to come.

(Doug flips the rest of the pages to find that they're all blank)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I guess she didn't want to write anymore. (He places the journal back in the cabinet) I wonder if this Jonathan person is the reason why Bianca went mad and joined forces with the Devil. Perhaps as some form of giving her life purpose. I don't know. I just don't know.

 **(Hallway #3: Sam)**

(Sam is walking down his hallway quickly but quietly. He stops when he hears a noise coming from one of the rooms. It sounds like a bunch of papers rustling together)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looking at the door in question) Bianca…

(Sam busts the door down only to find that the noise was just a bunch of papers being blown by the wind that was coming from an open window. Sam calms down and notices that he stumbled upon the refinery's computer lab. He looks around the lab and finds that one of the computers are still operational. He walks up to it and takes a seat in front of it. It's then that Sam sees a DVD just sitting right next to the computer. Out of curiosity, he takes the DVD and puts it in the computer. A video begins, and it has Bianca in a rainforest environment. The person recording this is her brother)

 _Bianca: Hello, my name is Bianca Thorne. I am on an expedition here in the Amazon Rainforest in search of the ingredients for Nature's Last Reward Potion. My brother, Louis, is recording my excursion._

 _Louis: (Holds his hand in front of the camera and waves) Hello!_

 _Bianca: Yes, indeed. I already have two of the three ingredients needed to make the potion: An Amazonian Orchid, and a Katydid that I put to sleep using a special gas. (She holds up the two ingredients that are resting in a small plastic cage) All I need now is the sap from one of the Kapok trees in the area._

 _(Louis and Bianca continue walking through the forest)_

 _Bianca: I read in a map that somewhere in this rainforest is a huge area full of these Kapok trees. This is also the only area left in the Amazon with such trees. Once I obtain the tree's sap, I can create the potion needed so my beloved Jonathan's cancer can be cured. I'm recording this in hopes that others can learn about this potion's existence, and maybe, because of this video, cancer will be a thing of the past. I think we're getting close to the…_

 _(Suddenly, Bianca hears noises of vehicles)_

 _Worker #1: Okay, let's take down all of these trees. I don't want a single one left standing._

 _Bianca: Wha…What the hell! (She looks over at Louis) Come on, let's check it out!_

 _(Bianca and Louis burst through the bushes to see the commotion, and it turns out a crew of workers were ordered to tear down the trees in the area, especially the Kapok trees)_

 _Bianca: Stop! What are you all doing?! (Bianca and Louis walk up to a group of workers) What do you think you're doing?_

 _Worker #2: Hey, lady, get out of here. Authorized personnel only._

 _Bianca: I need these trees!_

 _Worker #3: Why? They're just trees. What good are they doing us? They're just a waste of space._

 _Bianca: I can't believe what I'm hearing! These trees could be homes to many species of animals, they're giving us all oxygen, and above all else I need the sap from these trees to make a potion for my husband!_

 _Worker #2: Not our problem, lady! Now, shoo, before we call the police._

 _Bianca: I'm not leaving this spot! You can't make me!_

 _Louis: Come on, sis, let's go._

 _Bianca: Not now, Louis! I'm not leaving this spot until I get what I came for._

 _(Worker #2 leaves to find a phone to call the police)_

 _Worker #1: (Steps up and talks to his workers) Let me handle this. (Looks at Bianca) Listen, lady, we've been given direct orders to clean out this area of the forest, and no hippy bitch is going to stop us. Now get out of here! Samson is calling the police as we speak, and I don't think you two want to be here when they arrive._

 _Bianca: NO! (She grabs one of the workers and takes out a pocket knife from her pocket, holding the blade at the worker's throat)_

 _Worker #4: Hey let me go!_

 _Bianca: My husband needs this sap! You'll stop tearing these trees down right now! You have no idea what good these trees can do, and I will not let you cut one more down!_

 _Worker #3: (Turns to Worker #1) Boss, what do we do?_

 _Worker #1: I don't know._

 _Bianca: So how about it, are you going to back off?_

 _(Suddenly, Worker #2 arrive back at the sight with some police officers)_

 _Worker #2: (Points at Bianca and Louis) That's them! Get them out of here, do it!_

 _Officer #1: (Approaches the duo) Okay, let's go, lady. We don't want any trouble._

 _Bianca: Get away from me! If anyone needs arresting, it's these pathetic excuses of men! They're raping this land!_

 _Officer #2: But you're trespassing on their work site. Sorry, we have no choice._

 _Louis: Come on sis, let's just quit while we're ahead. Making this potion wasn't meant to be, I guess._

 _Bianca: No! Fuck that! I'm not leaving until I get that sap!_

 _Officer #1: (Gets closer to Bianca) But the knife down and come with us._

 _Bianca: No, you'll never take me! (She drops the knife and the worker she held hostage and tries to run away, but the officer quickly grabs her arm and drags her away) No! Stop! You don't understand! My husband Jonathan needs this! He needs this! NO!_

(The video ends)

Sam/Sir Justice: Whoa. She was trying to make a potion to cure her husband and she failed. Maybe this is what caused her to become an advocate. She blames the loss of her husband on the people that tore down those trees, which resulted in her joining forces with Satan, and now she's taking it out all of her rage on humanity. (Takes out a cell phone) I've got to call Doug and Wendy and show them this video.

(Cut to Doug and Wendy who regroup with Sam in the computer lab. The father and daughter just finished watching the video and they both look shocked and appalled)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: She was only trying to help her husband, but in the end she got put away and failed on her mission.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: How sad.

Sam/Sir Justice: My guess is that her failure resulted in Bianca going rogue and becoming an advocate. Sort of as a way to get revenge on humanity. I don't think she's necessarily evil, just depressed and angry.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I guess we all found clues to Bianca's past then.

Sam/Sir Justice: You guys found stuff too?

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Yeah, I found a journal.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: And I found a bunch of pictures and the recipe for this potion she was trying to make.

Sam/Sir Justice: I see.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: So now that we see Bianca in a new light what do we do now?

Sam/Sir Justice: I say we continue to look for her. But not to fight her. Maybe we can talk her down and sympathize with her. It's crazy, but it might just work. Come on, let's go!

(The trio leave the computer lab and continue to look for Bianca. When they leave the lab, the rest of their team arrives)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Hey, there you guys are.

Sam/Sir Justice: Glad to see you guys are safe. How'd it go fighting those Forces of Nature freaks?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Most of them fled into the woods. We suspect that there may be a few still lurking around in these halls.

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Any luck finding Bianca?

Sam/Sir Justice: No, but listen. Bianca isn't what she seems. We believe she joined forces with Satan as a way of getting revenge on the human race. Her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so she went to get ingredients for a potion to cure him. A bunch of people tore down trees that contained the sap needed for it, and she got arrested trying to fight them off.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: As a result, in Bianca's eyes, we're all heartless jerks that destroy the environment. That's why she sicked those plants on Denver because to her, all humans pollute, deforest, rape, destroy, and just royally fuck over the land. All because of something a small group of people did.

Sam/Sir Justice: Which is why we're going to try and talk her down. Maybe we can get her to stop. So when we see her, don't attack her, try and reason with her.

Stan/Tool Shed: Got it.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: So, Bianca lost her husband because of the actions others have made.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: That's the short version, yes.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: How sad.

Bianca: Yes…

(The gang turns around to find Bianca just a mere few feet away from them)

Bianca: I used to bawl like a baby at even the thought of my deceased husband. But if you've been an advocate for as long as I have, you've taken such simple things like emotions, and threw them out the window. Now…Nature Trap!

(Bianca snaps her fingers and a bunch of vines come out from underneath them. Most of our heroes get out of the way of them, but the likes of Doug, Jeffrey, Butters, Maria, and Sophocles get wrapped up in them and they fall to the floor)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Tries to get out of the trap) Oh hamburgers!

Annie/Darling Dame: Didn't Mr. Slave have a move like that? (Shakes her head) Oh, it's not important right now. (Everyone brings their attention to Bianca)

Sam/Sir Justice: Bianca, we heard about what happened to you, and we're sorry. But listen, this isn't the right way to deal with your problems.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Yeah, your husband, Jonathan would want you to continue to live a long, happy life. Just imagine how he'd feel if he learned you were doing this with your life.

Bianca: Insolent child. I'm doing this for both of us. I'm getting revenge on humanity for him too.

Sam/Sir Justice: But only a small group of people did this to you, not the entire species.

Bianca: True, but everyone in this world is just as guilty for what they've done to this world. Humans are responsible for cutting down trees, littering, and global warming among other horrendous things. What I did to all of those people in Denver earlier tonight was a long time coming.

Sam/Sir Justice: But it wasn't right.

Bianca: Give me a break. Besides, I know you Saints are guilty for the environmental destruction of this planet. Maybe you littered today or a few years ago. But I know you're all guilty for driving around in your cars, releasing chemicals into the air. And now you're lecturing me on what is right and wrong. You're all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

Sam/Sir Justice: But…

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Sam, as much as it pains me to admit, there's no reasoning with her. We're going to have to go back to our original plan.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sigh) I guess so. (Turns to Bianca) You leave us no choice, Bianca. (Takes out his lightsaber) It's time to end this!

Bianca: Very well. (She snaps her fingers and a door to the right of them opens up. It reveals a big staircase that leads outside) This staircase will take you to the refinery's main Horton Sphere. We'll do battle at the top of it. Don't keep me waiting. (She walks through the door as our heroes turn back to the five heroes that are trapped in vines)

Sophocles: Hurry, guys! Go after Bianca!

Sam/Sir Justice: But what about you guys.

Annie/Darling Dame: (Takes out one of her machetes) Don't worry, I got this. The rest of you can go after Bianca. I'll stay behind and help everyone else out.

Craig/D.J C-Rage: You got it!

(Suddenly, some Forces of Nature troops spot our heroes from down the hall)

Blader #3: Hey! I found those guys, everbody! Let's go get 'em!

(The troops charge at them)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Drat! I guess not all of them retreated!

Annie/Darling Dame: (Still trying to cut Doug free) You guys go on ahead. I'll take care of this.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: But, darling, you're already trying to free those guys! Are you telling us that you're going to free them _and_ take those assholes down at the same time?

Annie/Darling Dame: Yeah, it's called multitasking.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: But you're going get yourself hurt or killed. (He faces the troops coming at him and whips out his pistols, taking aim at them) You focus on freeing our friends, I'll take care of these jerks for you.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Steps up with Clyde) We're with you, Kurt (Clyde and Bridgette nod).

Craig/D.J C-Rage: (Joins him as well as his boom box turns into arm cannons) Let's show these freaks of nature how we South Parkers do our thing!

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, you guys do what you can down here. I'm chasing after Bianca!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Not without me you're not!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Or us!

(Wendy, Cody, Stan, and Bebe join Sam)

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, the five of us are going to take on Bianca while the rest of you stay down here.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Got it!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Be careful kids, we don't know what else Bianca is capable of.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Don't worry, dad, we'll be fine. We promise you that.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Alright. Good luck.

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on, everyone, let's move out!

(Sam, Wendy, Bebe, Cody, and Stan go through the door to the Horton Sphere to face Bianca)

(Cut to our five heroes running up the stairs to the top of the sphere where they find Bianca staring out into the distance)

Sam/Sir Justice: Bianca! There you are!

Bianca: (Still looking away from our heroes) Glad to see you all finally made it.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes a glance to his four comrades standing behind him) Do you guys know what time it is? Time to lock up our sixth advocate.

Stan/Tool Shed: Let's do it!

(They look to see Bianca is still looking away from them)

Sam/Sir Justice: Uh, hello, Bianca! We're standing right here. Aren't you going to do something?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Why don't we just attack her now?

Sam/Sir Justice: Hang on, Bebe. Let's not be too hasty.

Bianca: (Still looking in the distance) Tell me something, saints…(She turns around to face them) What would you do if you lost someone close to you?

(The five heroes look confused)

Bianca: If you lost someone close to you, would you lose your mind? Would you just snap and do something crazy? Or would you move on with your life as if nothing happened?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Wha-What's happening?

Bianca: Just tell me, would you go crazy if you lost someone you cared about, and I know you five have at least one person you care about in your life.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well…if we lost someone we cared about…it would hurt. But I know deep down the person we lost would want us to be strong and keep moving forward. Continue living life with a smile.

Bianca: Continue life with a smile? Hmph, it's been a while since I put a smile on my face…even longer since I wore a genuine smile.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: What are you doing? Why are you asking us these thought provoking questions?

Bianca: Because, Jonathan was the most important thing in my life until humanity took him from me. Do you think I've lost my mind?

(The five heroes are hesitant to answer)

Bianca: ANSWER ME!

Sam/Sir Justice: Well…I, uh…

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: We wouldn't say you've lost your mind, you're just depressed and you're taking out your despair on everyone.

Bianca: You say I'm depressed. Depression is a mental illness. So you _are_ saying I've lost my mind.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: N-no, I didn't say that.

Bianca: Let me tell you brats something. I haven't lost my mind, what I'm doing is completely justified. It's not insanity, it's justice! Until you lose someone close to you, you'll never understand what I'm saying or how I feel!

(Our heroes are confused and unsure about what to do. Sam especially is lost in thought)

Sam/Sir Justice: (In his thoughts) What do we do? Bianca is just a sad and angry person. She's not really that evil, just misunderstood. But she does bring up a valid point. What would I do if I lost someone I cared about: My family, my friends, Doug, Wendy. What would happen if they just died? Would I end up like Bianca: Wrathful and full of hate? It's possible. The mind is a strange thing. It only takes one bad day to fuck a person's psyche up for life. (He shakes his head and continues thinking to himself) What am I saying! I have to focus on Bianca! I don't care if she asks 100 more thought provoking questions to us! We have to defeat her.

(Sam turns to face his four friends who are also thinking about what Bianca said)

Sam/Sir Justice _:_ (Sees his comrades lost in thought) Snap out of it, guys! We have to focus! We'll worry about what she said later! (His friends are brought back to reality as Sam steps up to the center of the platform) Bianca, even though you're just a tired and heartbroken soul, you leave us no choice but to defeat you!

Bianca: I see…Well then, let's not waste anymore time. And F.Y.I, out of the six of us, I'll be the only one who will walk away from here alive! (A sword made of bark materializes in Bianca's hands) Gaia's Glaive!

(Bianca prepares to swing when suddenly…)

Kelly: (Comes running up the stairs, axe blazing, and rushes past Cody, Wendy, Bebe, and Stan) Leave my wonder boy alone, bitch!

(Kelly jumps in front of Sam and blocks Bianca's slash with the axe and pushes her back)

Sam/Sir Justice: Kelly?

Kelly: (Turns to Sam) That's my name, don't wear it out, sweetie! (Winks at Sam)

Bianca: Hmm, a sixth fighter joins the fray? Okay then, you'll meet the same fate as your friends over there.

Kelly: I don't care! You will not hurt my Sammy! If I die defending him, then I'll die happy!

(She charges at Bianca again, but the vine wrapped around Bianca's arm extends and hardens. Bianca uses the vine to parry Kelly's slash and push her back)

Kelly: Why you! (She charges at Bianca again)

Bianca: Persistent little insect. (She snaps her fingers and a giant leaf ) Konohana Breeze!

(Bianca waves her leave and blows Kelly back with a strong gust of wind. Kelly goes flying towards Cody, Bebe, Wendy, and Stan, and the axe flies out of her hands and lands in Bianca's)

Bianca: You won't need this anymore, little girl. (She snaps the axe in half and throws the two piece off the edge of the Horton Sphere)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to Kelly) Kelly, are you okay?

Kelly: (Smiles and gives a peace sign) Just peachy, baby!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Under her breath) Oh, Christ!

Bianca: I think it's time we stop pussyfooting around….

Stan/Tool Shed: (Chuckles to himself at what Bianca said) Pussyfooting…

Bianca: I want to face you with no further interruptions. (She snaps her fingers and Sam's five friends get trapped in a box made of bark)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam! (She turns to the rest of her team) We have to get out of this box!

Bianca: Good luck, that bark is way harder than your bite. (Turns to Sam) Now then, shall we commence this little brawl of ours?

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's…(He whips out his lightsaber)

Bianca: Oh, I almost forgot! (She whistles and a bunch of Nutskis and Dibble Dops come out of nowhere) I'm a compassionate woman, and I would love it if my troops had a chance to whoop the ass of the brat that was a thorn in Satan's side since day one!

Sam/Sir Justice: Big deal! It just means they're going to die too!

Bianca: (Smirks and materializes her sword) Come then! En garde!

(Sam charges at Bianca)

Bianca: Dibble Dops?

Dibble Dop #3: Yes ma'am! (Turns to his Dibble Dop Comrades) Come on, men, nobody lives forever! Let's get this varmint!

(All of the Dibble Dops in the squad, seven in total, step up)

Dibble Dops: Hydro Pillar!

(When the Dibble Dops' projectiles hit the ground, water pillars rise up. Sam jumps up and does a flip over the pillars. But while in mid-air, he takes out his guns and takes aim at the Dibble Dops)

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast/Bebe's Bullets!

(He fires bullets from one gun, and falcon shaped energy shots from the other. They hit the Dibble Dops and kill them. Sam lands back on the platform and continues to charge at Bianca)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out lightsaber) Red's Blade!

Bianca: Gaia's Glaive!

(The two clash swords and try to push each other back. Bianca pushes Sam back)

Bianca: Nutskis, surround him!

Nutskis: Yes, ma'am!

(All of the Nutski's surround Sam and get ready to attack)

Nutskis: Seed Bomb!

(The Nutskis fire their attacks, but Sam swings his lightsaber around really fast and reflects the projectiles back at the Nutskis, killing them. But when the Nutskis die, Bianca is waiting for Sam with a counterattack. The thorns on the vine on her leg start glowing)

Bianca: Thorn Blaster!

(Energy shots shoot from the thorns and they blast Sam back a bit. When Bianca ceases her attack, the vine on her arm extends and she throws it like a whip)

Bianca: Persephone's Whip!

(The vine whip wraps around Sam's leg, and Bianca pulls him in, causing Sam to fall on his ass. As Bianca pulled Sam closer to her, her Gaia's Glaive was in her other hand ready to slash at Sam when he got close enough. But Sam had another plan)

Sam/Sir Justice: Red's Blade!

(Sam cuts the vine whip, gets back up and gets ready for a counterattack)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Roundhouse!

(Sam roundhouse kicks Bianca in the side causing her to double over)

Bianca: You've hit a woman, are you proud? (She gets back up) Oh well, no sense crying over spilt milk. I think it's time we take this fight elsewhere. (A green aura emits around Bianca and she starts to float. She flies away from Sam) Catch me if you can!

Sam/Sir Justice: If you think you can get away that easily, think again! Wings of Heidi! (His wingpack opens up and he gives chase)

(Meanwhile, Stan, Bebe, Wendy, Cody, and Kelly finally break out of Bianca's trap thanks to Stan's Hectic Hammer Attack. They go over to the ledge of the platform to see Sam chasing after Bianca. They see that the fighters land on a huge pipe that connects with two buildings: Sam on the left side and Bianca on the right)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: We've got to help Sam out somehow.

Kelly: Hey, what's happening over there! (She points at the duel on the pipe and they see that Bianca has summoned more troops. This time they are Parashooters, Flages, Captain Flares, and Zerts)

Stan/Tool Shed: Sam doesn't stand a chance against Bianca now!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Maybe we can try and take those enemies down from over here.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Good idea, sweetie! (Turns to Kelly) Kelly, you'd better get out of here. It's too dangerous.

Kelly: (Begrudgingly) Okay…

(As Kelly leaves, the other four take aim at the Forces of Nature. We cut to the pipe where Sam continues his fight)

Bianca: (Jumps up to the top of one of the buildings and she opens her hand, revealing she has a rose tattoo on her palm. The tattoo starts to glow) Nymph's Revenge!

(A sphere composed of red colored energy fires from her palm and Sam jumps back to dodge it)

Bianca: Forces of Nature. Prepare your attack.

Flages, Flares, Parashooters, and Zerts: Ma'am!

(The Forces of Nature get ready to attack when...)

Zert #2: (Gets hit by one of Bebe's swords) GAH!

Captain Flare #3: I say, what was that my broth-WAH! (Gets hit by Cody's Fantasia of Riches attack)

Flage #3: What is happening! (Gets hit by Wendy's Wrath of the Tigress)

Parashooter #5: Where are these attacks coming from! (Gets hit by Stan's Wrench-a-Wrang attack)

Bianca: (Follows the wrench as it flies back to Stan. It's then that the she sees the four Saints on top of the Horton Sphere firing their attacks) Forces of Nature! Go after those four up there! I'll handle Sir Justice!

(The rest of the enemies go over to the Horton Sphere)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Sees the incoming enemies) Here they come! Get ready everyone! Let's do this!

(The four Saints go to separate parts of the platform to fight the Forces of Nature: The first fight we see is Stan vs. the Captain Flares)

Captain Flares: Mystic Meteor!

Stan/Tool Shed: (Takes out his sledgehammer) Hectic Hammer! (He swings all of the meteors back at the Captain Flares as if they were baseballs, and kills them. This process continued until only one Captain Flare remained) Just you and me, buddy! (He takes out his wrench and it starts sparking up) Shocking Wrench-a-Rang! (He throws it and kills the last Captain Flare)

(Next is Wendy vs. Zerts)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sees three Zerts charge at her and she raises her fists) Wildfire Smackdown! (She launches a barrage of punches at the three Zerts and knocks them all off the edge of the Horton Sphere. That's when the rest of the Zerts in this squad approach her)

Zerts: Nature's Zap! (The fire beams of electricity at Wendy, but before they could touch her)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (She hurls a big fireball at the Zerts and it blows through the beams of electricity and reduces the remaining Zerts to ash)

(Next is Cody vs. Flages)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Sees the Flages come towards him fast, ready to slash at him, and he raises his staff) Fortune Bubble! (The barrier goes up and the Flages hit it, causing them to get dazed and confused. Cody lowers the barrier and gets ready for a counterattack) Fantasia of Riches! (He fires energy blasts at the Flages and kills them)

(Finally is Bebe vs. Parashooters)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Jumps up and takes out her double flutesaber) Stevens' Special Sword! (She cuts the Parashooter that was hovering above her in half. It's then that she sees a horde of Parashooters getting ready to attack)

Parashooters: Sky Cutter! (They fires air slashes at Bebe, who quickly dodges out of the way)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Blade Storm! (She tosses a bunch of swords at the horde and kills them all) Okay, I think we got them all, everyone! I wonder how Sam is doing?

(We check in on Sam's fight with Bianca and they both push each other back when Sam's lightsaber clashes with Bianca's vine dagger)

Bianca: (Jumps up and a mushroom shaped bomb materializes in her hand) Fungal Wrecker!

(Bianca throws down the bomb. Sam dodges, but it hits the pipe, causing it to break and fall to the ground below. Sam jumps to the top of the building behind him. The broken pieces to the pipe hit some equipment causing some explosions and fires to break out)

Bianca: If you want to continue this fight, then follow me down there! (Gains a green aura and floats back to ground level)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Sees Sam and calls out to him) Hey, Sam! Are you okay!

Sam/Sir Justice: Never better, Wen-Wen! But I want you, Bebe, Cody, and Stan to head for safety! I'll finish up Bianca!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Okay, but be careful! (She along with the other three teammates leave the Horton Sphere)

Sam/Sir Justice: Aren't I always? (Opens his wingpack and chases after Bianca)

(Once on ground level, Sam finds himself in a spacious room that's surrounded in flames and malfunctioning equipment. The ceiling is destroyed because of the pipes falling on it, but there are still bits of the ceiling just hanging there. Bianca whistles over to Sam. That catches his attention and he sees that Bianca has an Urgle, a Pew Pew, a Clobbler, and a Meeba with her)

Sam/Sir Justice: Bianca, with all of these fires in the refinery, this place is going to going to the dogs! We have to get out of here!

Bianca: Not a chance! I'm not leaving until you and your goody-goody friends are out of my hair for good! So get ready, Sir Justice, because this ends now!

 **(Cue A Stranger I Remain from Metal Gear Rising Revengance)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets in fighting stance)

Bianca: Forces of Nature, murder this fool!

Clobbler #2: Yes, ma'am! (The Four Forces of Nature charge at Sir Justice)

Meeba #2: I'll get him! (Charges at Sir Justice fast, but he dodges out of the way, causing the Meeba to hit the wall and get crushed by an avalanche of ruble)

Urgle #3: (Sarcastically) Yeah, he got him alright. (Normal tone) This is how a real man gets things done! (Charges at Sam) Brutish Bark Bash!

Sam/Sir Justice: Annie's Shield! (He blocks the Urgle's punch and pushes him back, allowing Sam to take out his lightsaber and stab him through the eye and kill him)

 **(I've come here from nowhere across the unforgiving sea. Drifting further and further it's all becoming clear to me. The violent winds are upon us and I can't sleep. Internal temperatures rising and all the voices won't recede.)**

(While Sam's back is turned, the Pew Pew decides to attack)

Pew Pew #3: Pew Pew Pellet! (Fires a projectile, but Sam notices and he jumps up and cuts the Pew Pew in half with his lightsaber. The Clobbler doesn't like this and he gets mad)

Clobbler #2: Leave Bianca and my comrades alone, you bad man! (He turns into his active form) **DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!**

(Sam sees the angry enemy charging at him and he takes out one of his guns)

Sam/Sir Justice: Falcon's Blast! (He fires the energy shot and the Clobbler blocks it with his arms, creating a wall of smoke. When the smoke clears, Sam comes charge at the Clobbler and he stabs him with his lightsaber killing him. Now all Sam has to worry about is Bianca)

 **(I've finally found what I was looking for: A place where I can be without remorse. Because I am a stranger who has found an even stranger war. I've finally found what I was looking for)**

Bianca: (Appears right next to Sam and the thorns on the vine on her leg start to glow again but this time…) Thorn Stab! (The thorns quickly extend in an attempt to stab Sam, who back flips out of the way quickly)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Makes it to safety and takes out his guns) Bebe's Bullets! (He fires multiple shots, but Bianca jumps up high in the air)

Bianca: (The vine wrapped around her arm extends) Persephone's Whip! (The vine whip gets wrapped around Sam and Bianca tosses him in the air. She then opens her hand and prepares another attack) Nymph's Revenge! (Fires an energy shot)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sees the attack coming at him) Annie's Shield! (He uses the shield and reflects the attack back at Bianca who gets hit by it and goes flying to the wall behind her)

 **(Instrumentals)**

(Sam lands on his feet back on ground level)

Bianca: I have had it with you! (Materializes mushroom shaped bombs in both hands) Let's finish this! Fungal Wrecker!

(Bianca tosses both bombs at Sam)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cody's Speed Boots, activate! (He quickly dodges the two bombs)

Bianca: Fungal Wrecker! (She starts throwing multiple bombs, and Sam keeps dodging) DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! (Bomb after bomb, Sam dodges and dodges)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Stops dodging as Bianca ceases her throwing) I'm done with dodging!

Bianca: (Pants) Then die like the worthless human you are! Fungal Wrecker! (She tosses the last bomb in her hand) Fungal Wrecker!

 **(I sharpen the knife and look down upon the bay. For all of my life, a stranger I remain. A stranger I remain! A stranger I remain!)**

(Sam grabs the bomb and throws it upwards towards the ceiling, causing debris to fall down. Bianca jumps out of the way, but now there is a wall of debris blocking Sam and Bianca…that Sam promptly jumps over, ready to attack)

Bianca: (Sees Sam hop over the wall of debris) What the…!

Sam/Sir Justice: It's over Bianca! We've beaten you! (Raises his fist) Fist of Millie!

 **(Closing instrumentals)**

(Sam hits Bianca square in the face, knocking her on her ass, and leaving Bianca with a bleeding nose and very exhausted)

 **(End of song)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Walks up to the exhausted Bianca) It's over, Bianca. The South Park Saints have one again.

Bianca: (Panting) It…It can't be…my plans…curse you…Sir Justice… (Passes out due to exhaustion)

Sam/Sir Justice: Good game, Bianca. Good game. (He looks around to see the destruction and flames around him. He hears explosions in the distance) This whole place is falling apart thanks to our duel. We've got to get out of here.

(Sam picks up the unconscious Bianca bridal style and he and her leave the slowly decaying oil refinery)

(Back outside, the rest of the South Park Saints that went with Sam on his mission are waiting for his return with some police officers and fire fighters. Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, Maria, and Butters are freed)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Do you guys think he's okay in there.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: I'm sure he is, sweetie. He's never let us down before.

(Suddenly, through the smoke and the flame of the front door. Sam comes out carry the unconscious Bianca. Wendy smiles and runs up to see him along with a police officer)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Smiles) Wendy!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Kisses his cheek) I'm so glad you're alright!

Policeman: Sir Justice, sir. (Points at Bianca) Is this woman in your arms the cause of all of this trouble?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes she is, officer. (Gives her to the policeman) Take her away.

(The Saints watch as the police man place her in a van and they drive off for the jail. Sam just stares after the van as it drives off, thinking of the words Bianca told him before the duel)

Annie/Darling Dame: Now there are two advocates remaining, right?

Stan/Tool Shed: Great observation skills Annie.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Let's keep up the good work everyone and we'll get the last two advocate behind bars in no time.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to face the rest of his team) Hey, guys, can I talk to you all real quick.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Sure, Sam, what's on your mind?

Sam/Sir Justice: Just before we battled, Bianca asked us what we would do if we lost someone we cared about. If we'd go insane. And then it occurred to me that all the human mind needs is one terrible event to turn us over to the dark side. Which is why I ask you all a favor: If you lose someone you love, whether it's a friend, family member, or significant other, promise me you'll always stay positive. Never give in to the darkness.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: We'll never give in to the darkness, Sam.

Craig/D.J C-Rage: I promise you that we'll stay strong if that happens.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: You have our word, Sammy boy.

Sam/Sir Justice: Sometimes, Kurt, that's all you have in life: your word.

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Come on everyone, let's go home. There's nothing left to see here.

(The 16 Saints leave the area for South Park as we cut to Bianca who is just waking up in the police van. She sighs in disappointment, knowing that she's been defeated. She reaches into her pocket for a wallet sized version of the photo of Jonathan)

Bianca: (Looks at the picture) My darling, Jonathan. As much as it pains me to say this…I've failed you. I wasn't able to avenge your death. (Begins to tear up as the tears fall onto the picture) I hope that you can forgive me of my shortcomings in my mission, and I hope that we can meet again, someplace where we don't have to worry about the scourge of humanity anymore. (Runs her fingers across the picture) My Jonathan, I'll love you always.

(The police van drives off for the prison as the episode ends)

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Sam arrives home, gets in his pajamas and opens his laptop to look at apartments. He takes out an envelope filled with money from the Guess Clothing Company. The money is clearly the profit from Store Justice)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: At the Knitts' residence, Kurt is cooking up some lobster and Annie heads up to her room to get Red and Ursula. She enters the room to find the lesbian couple just sleeping on the inflatable bed, cuddled next to each other. Clearly the duo is exhausted from their "finger exercises." Annie just shrugs and closes the door)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: At the prison, Bianca is looking sadly at her picture of her husband. The previous villains, Trent, Justin, Max (being wheeled over by Trent), Ethel, Tobias, Paris, Charon, and Marlowe go over to her to see if she's alright and they comfort her in her time of distress. Oh yeah, and we get yet another shot of Dimitri in the prison's cold storage)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **  
** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **  
** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **  
** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: Cody is at Knitts' Family Bakery to pick up the cake that Annie and Kurt were ordered to make back in O, Brother, Where Art Thou (Part 1). Cody gives them a nice tip and Kurt and Annie smile)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **  
** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **  
** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **  
** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Shot #5: Because Apollo is coming out of his shell, he's playing basketball with Jason, David, Bradley, Blue Hat Guy, and a few more of their friends. Not once have the other boys bullied or teased Apollo. Apollo smiles with glee and is having a great time)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Shot #6: Kelly Rutherford-Menskin is in the air vents above the boy's locker room, and she's watching Sam as he showers, looking at him with the utmost lust. It's at this moment when a dust bunny goes by her nose and she sneezes. The rest of the boys showering hear the sneeze and Kelly books it out of there)

 **(Samayoinagara** **  
** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **  
** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Shot #7: The Forces of Nature that escaped are wandering around in a forest, plotting their revenge against the South Park Saints)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **  
** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **  
** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **  
** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Shot #8: A shadowy figure opens the doors to a semi-trailer and admires a giant robotic gorilla. He grins evilly and it's safe to say we're dealing with our next advocate)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **  
** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **  
** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **  
** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **  
** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **  
** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #9: At a big mansion somewhere in Boulder, CO, an old man in his 90s is watching his servant decorate the place. He watches as two of them hang up a sign that reads, "Oppenheimer Family Reunion." He smiles and heads back to his mansion)

 **Question of the chapter: What are your thoughts on me giving names to the likes of Mr. Testaburger (Doug), Mr. Stevens (Jeffrey), Grandma Stotch (Ethel), Mr. Slave (Alex Slave), and the Former Sixth Grade Leader (Leon)**


	19. Cody's Family Reunion (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 18: Cody's Family Reunion (Part 1)

 **(Edit: In this episode, Sam gets more gifts from his friends, but I originally had Bridgette's gift be something different. I changed it just for the heck of it)**

(It's another sunny Friday in mid-May. At the South Park Town Limits, a black pick-up truck pulls over on the side of the road. The pick-up truck is pulling the semi-trailer from the end of last episode. The driver gets out to stretch his legs and he looks at the town in the distance. This man is Cody's other uncle, Noah Oppenheimer)

 **(Noah has a nice physique, appears to be a few years younger that Sophocles, has brown hair and green eyes. He's wearing a black lab coat, a white button up shirt underneath, and beige pants with brown loafers)**

Noah: (Takes a cigar out of his pocket and smokes it) Sophocles, brother, I've finally made it! I haven't seen you in the longest time. Hopefully this weekend we can reconnect. If we can, that'll make me happy…but sad at the same time, because by the end of this weekend…your blood will be mine!

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (10 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, and Bianca). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We start this episode at a random apartment complex in South Park. The complex appears to be meant for at least the upper middle class and it very clean and tidy when compared to any other of South Park's complexes. We cut to one of the rooms on the top floor, and someone opens the door to one of the apartments. The person drops a backpack on the floor and walks out to the balcony. That person is none other than…Samuel Cooper himself)

Sam (v.o): Well hello again. You're probably wondering how I found myself in a nice place like this. Well, I'll tell you through a little montage. Drop the beat!

 **(Cue Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas)**

 **(Imma Be, Imma Be, Imma Imma Imma be! Imma Be, Imma Be, Imma Imma Imma be! Imma Be, Imma Be, Imma Imma Imma be! Imma be be be be Imma Imma be! Imma be be be be Imma Imma be! Imma be be be be Imma Imma be!)**

(We start our montage a few nights ago when Sam is looking at apartments on his computer at his old home)

Sam (v.o): When Store Justice opened back in 2017, the Guess Clothing Company said I'd get half of the store's profits. Eight years later, I saved up enough money to do whatever I want. And since my parents are too busy with work to be at home, and I'm legally an adult, I might as well get my own place.

 **(Imma be on the next level. Imma be rocking over that bass tremble. Imma be childing with my motherfucking crew! Imma be making all them deals you wanna do! Imma be up in them A list flicks doing one handed flips and Imma be sipping on drinks cause Imma be shaking my hips)**

(Next shot, Sam arrives at the new apartment. He gives the landlord some cash and Sam takes a look around the apartment. It's empty, so he starts to figure out a layout of the furniture)

Sam (v.o): I moved to the top floor of a rather nice apartment complex: One bedroom, one bath, a small kitchen/dining room, and a decently sized living room. I had my knick knacks, nightstand, and my bed, so my bedroom is covered in terms of furniture and decorations, but then there's the rest of the rooms in my new home. So my next stop was obviously IKEA!

 **(Honeys in debt, but we bouncing them checks. I don't really mind when they boucning them checks. Imma be, Imma be, Imma be, Imma be rich baby. Imma be, Imma Imma be. Imma Imma be. Imma be sick with the flow when the goal is to rock the whole globe. Imma be the future. Imma be the whole. Reason why you niggas come to a show you can see what I'm rockin' and I'm kickin' down a door)**

(Next shot is Sam and his friends picking out furniture for the new apartment. They look for couches, tables, chairs, fridges, , groceries, clothes, all of the essentials for a new home. Sam writes a check for the cashier that checks him out)

Sam (v.o): With the help of my friends, we were able to find the proper furnishings for my new place. Everything was going my way.

 **(Imma be up in the club. Doin' whatever I like. Imma be popping that bubbly. Coolin' and living that good life. Oh let's make this last forever partying and we'll chill together. On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and…)**

(Next shot is Sam and his friends moving the furniture into the apartment. Next thing you know, the rooms that were empty are full of tables, chairs, an entertainment center, refrigerators stocked with food. It really has turned into a beautiful home. Sam even hired painters to paint a mural of his persona, Sir Justice, onto a blank wall in the living room)

 **(Imma be rocking this like, what! Y'all niggas wanna talk shut but! Wanting you put ito n the blog, nigga! Rocking like this my job, nigga! We can't help that we popular and all these folks want to flock to us. Come to a show and just rock with us. A million plus with binoculars)**

(Sam is having a blast in his new home. He has friends like Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters over to play video games on the entertainment center. He has Wendy over for a date at his place. He has Kurt, Bridgette, and Ursula over for dinner and to reminisce on the good old days. And he even kicks Kelly Rutherford-Menskin out of the apartment after she sneaks in one day)

Sam (v.o): My place is the bomb, man! I'm able to entertain all of my friends, it makes for a great date spot for me and Wendy, and it's just nice to get privacy whenever I can. This must be what it's like to be a bachelor. And it's all thanks to the oodles of cash I saved.

 **(Imma be, Imma be, Imma be, Imma be. Imma be living that good life. Imma be living that good good (x4). Imma be (x16).)**

(Next we see Sam cooking meals, reading novels, watching T.V late at night, taking a candlelit bubble bath, dancing, and sleeping all in his apartment. We finally cut back to present day where we left off, with Sam on the balcony of his apartment and he's looking out in the distance)

Sam (v.o): This apartment was the best thing that ever happened to me, no joke. Only problem, it gets lonely when I have nobody over. It's kind of depressing.

Sam: Maybe I'll go over to Stan's place and see what he's up do. (Leaves the balcony and heads for Stan's house)

 **(End song)**

(Cut to Stan's house where Sam walks up to the front door and knocks. Stan answers the door)

Stan: Hey, Sam! Just the person I wanted to see.

Sam: 'Sup, Stan. Can I come in?

Stan: Of course. I just have Apollo over. We're just watching some cheesy 80s action movies if you want to join in.

Sam: Sure.

(Sam walks into the house and finds Apollo sitting on the right side of the couch. On the table in front of him are bowls of chips and popcorn which are sitting in front of a T.V)

Apollo: Ah, hello, Sam! (Pats the middle cushion of the couch) Come and pop a squat. We just reached the climax of this film.

Sam: Okay. (Sits in the middle of the couch)

Stan: (Walks up to Sam with some gifts and he sits on the left side of the couch) Here you go, Sam. (Gives the gifts to Sam)

Sam: What's this? My birthday's not for another six months.

Stan: Just some house warming gifts for your new apartment. And by house warming gifts, I mean more weapons for you to play with in battle.

Sam: Really?

Stan: Yeah. Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Maria, Apollo, Kurt, Bridgette, Ursula, Wendy, Mr. Testaburger and I went over to Sophocles' lab and made you eight new weapons. Take a look. Open mine first.

(Sam opens Stan's present and finds two chakram)

Stan: Those chakrams are great throwing weapons. I had Sophocles make them so they can light on fire. Guess what else? He said that if you spin the chakrams real fast, you get a neat surprise for both yourself _and_ your enemy.

Sam: Very cool. (He opens Kenny's present next, it's a boomerang)

Stan: It's not much, but Sophocles made that boomerang so it can fly long distances at fast speeds.

Sam: Awesome.

Apollo: Open the next gift. It's kind of mine and Maria's gift mixed in with Cartman's.

Sam: Okay. (He opens Maria, Apollo, and Cartman's gift. It turns out to be the gauntlets Millie made, armor on the back and all, but this time there are slots on the back of the gauntlet and gems on the palms)

Stan: Those slots are meant for retractable claws. From what Cartman told me, they can light on fire too.

Apollo: And those gems on the palms can fire energy blasts. Maria and I figured it'd be more convenient and easier to use than taking out those guns.

Sam: Cool. (He looks over at Wendy and Doug's gift next) I wonder what my beautiful sweetheart Wendy and her father gave me? (He opens their gift and it's a scarf with a orange broach on it. The scars itself is half blue and half red)

Stan: Go on, put it on.

(Sam puts the scarf on, clicks the broach and the scarf comes to life and acts as another pair of arms)

Sam: Now this is where it's at!

Apollo: You still have four more gifts to open up, Sam.

Stan: Why don't you open up Kyle's next?

(Sam opens Kyle's gift and it's a giant Fidget Spinner)

Sam: I remember when these things were big back in 2017. I've never seen one this big before. (He tries to spin it but Stan stops him)

Stan: I wouldn't spin it in my house if I were you. If you spin that, it would generate huge gusts of wind that would tear this place to shreds. I'd get in a lot of trouble.

Sam: Okay. (He opens Ursula's gift next: A whip)

Stan: That whip is made of a very strong material. And if you click that button on the bottom, you unlock that whip's true power.

(Sam opens Bridgette's gift next: A quiver full of arrows and a bow made of metal)

Apollo: Those arrows Bridgette made are supposed to explode on impact. Should be useful.

Stan: And that bow is made of some sturdy metal. It'll take a lot for it to break.

Sam: Nice. So, what did Kurt get me?

Stan: Open it and find out?

(Sam opens Kurt's present and finds a lazer cannon made of metal and small canisters that are holding energy)

Sam: Holy shit sauce!

Stan: Compared to all of us, Kurt put the most work in his gift. You remember Max and his Disintegration Beam attack, right?

Sam: It's one of many things about that mechanical monstrosity I wish I could forget.

Stan: Well, Kurt made this lazer cannon based on that specific attack. Use this on any adversary and they'll be nothing but a pile of ashes.

Sam: How deadly, yet so awesome! All of these new weapons you all gave me are so amazing! I hope we find the seventh advocate soon so I can give them a test drive.

Stan: We'll find him in due time, Sam. So, anyway, what brings you by?

Sam: Nothing really, I just got very bored and lonely in my new apartment. I figured I'd swing by and see what you are up to.

Apollo: You can chill here and watch movies with us if you want.

Stan: Yeah. I have plenty of snacks to go around.

Sam: Thanks.

Apollo: But if you really are lonely, why don't you ask Wendy if she wants to move in with you.

Sam: While that is a great idea, I don't know how her parents will react, especially Doug. He may treat me like one of his own, but I have a feeling that'll all be thrown out the window the moment I ask Wendy to move in with me.

Apollo: I understand.

Sam: Speaking of significant others…(Turns over to face Stan) Are you making headway with Heidi?

Stan: Not at all…Wait a minute, how do you know I have the hots for her?

Sam: I see how shy you get when Heidi is in the area.

Apollo: I can see how coy she gets when around you.

Sam: Honestly, I wouldn't be against you and Heidi hooking up. Both of you haven't been in the dating scene for a while. But while Heidi is constantly trying, and failing, to get back in the game…you haven't even tried to get back out there.

Stan: Eh, thinking about it. Getting back in the game is a bad idea. I'm not sure how her parents will react if I ask her out. And I'm also worried she'll break my heart. The last time I had a broken heart was when Wendy broke up with me back in 2016.

Sam: I'm sure it wasn't that bad.

Stan: Dude, I went emo. That's how trying of a time it was for me.

Sam: But you're wiser and older now. If Heidi breaks your heart like Wendy did you to, you'll get over it, realize there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and move on.

Stan: I'm not so sure. I think I'll hold off on joining the love game for a bit. Besides, the single life isn't so bad.

Sam: (Sigh) Whatever, Stan. I'm not going to argue with you on this. It's your life, live it how you want to. I think I'm going to shoot Wendy a text so we can go out and play some miniature golf later tonight. (He pulls out his phone and tries to text her but can't) Damn, I keep forgetting the wi-fi reception is terrible here. Stan, can I use your computer and email her?

Stan: Sure go ahead. My room is the second door on the right when you get upstairs.

Sam: Thanks, bud.

(Sam leaves for Stan's room so he can email Wendy. Apollo and Stan keep watching their movie and eating snacks when suddenly…)

Sam: (From upstairs) WHAT THE FUCK!

Stan: Sam?! What's wrong?

Apollo: We'd better go check it out. Come on.

(Apollo and Stan head upstairs to Stan's room where they find a horrified Sam sitting at a desk looking at Stan's laptop)

Stan: Sam, you screamed. What's wrong?

Sam: There's so much porn!

Stan: Dude, what are you doing looking at my private shit?

Sam: What do you mean, "private shit?" Dude, I woke your computer up from sleep mode and found… _this_! There's got be at least a thousand files on here.

Stan: I've been meaning to clear some of that out.

Sam: Apollo, come look at this!

(Apollo goes over to looks at the computer with Sam and he looks just as horrified as he does)

Apollo: Oh my God, that's vile!

Sam: And look at the organization here: Caucasian, ebony, Asian, Hispanic, Girl-on-Girl, Guy-on-Guy, MILFS, FFM, MMF, 69, anal, vaginal, oral, clockwise rimjob, counterclockwise rimjob. Why do you have both type of rimjob, Stan?!

Stan: Sometimes I like to see the tongue go the other way.

Sam: And look at this! Rule 34 fanart! This is Rule 34 fanart that he has saved in folders. My Little Pony, Undertale, Sonic the Hedgehog, Disney, this is insa…(The next Rule 34 fanart folder he sees shocks him) Apollo, this next Rule 34 fanart folder…it's Rule 34 fanart of _us,_ the South Park Saints!

Apollo: Holy fucking shit!

(Stan breaks into a cold sweat)

Sam: What am I even looking at! Stan, you have a picture here of you, me, and Token giving _triple penetration_ to Wendy! Why!?

Apollo: And look at that next image. Is Kurt eating ice cream out of Annie's…(Holds in vomit)

Sam: Oh my god I'll never be able to eat ice cream again. And what's this image. (He looks at the image and he's not sure if he should laugh or cry) There is an incest picture of Bebe and her father. AN INCEST PICTURE!

Apollo: And she looks like she's enjoying it! What the hell?! We can never show any of our friends this. They will kill us. And look at this next image, it's of Craig and Tweek…they're…they're.

Sam: I can't look at this anymore. It's too horrifying.

Stan: Guys, please stop.

Apollo: And what the hell is this folder. Chicks with dicks?!

Stan: (Blushes in embarrassment) Oh my God! Okay, fine I'll admit it! I have a disease. A serious porn addiction. I need help.

Sam: There are no chicks with dicks, Stan! Only guys with boobs!

Stan: If I'm being honest, I'm glad that I was found out. I wanted to be caught that's why I left my porn stash open so that someone, my family, my friends can learn about it and help me. (Cover his face in shame) Tell me, what should I do?!

Sam: I'll tell you what you're going to do Stan, now listen up and listen good! You've got to get back out there and ask Heidi out because you are spiraling out of control here. At first we wanted you to ask Heidi out so you can be happy, but now you have to it for your mental health!

Stan: Okay fine. I'll ask Heidi out. Just please stop looking at that shit.

Sam: Stan, we're serious. Okay, the next time you see Heidi, the very next time you see her, you are asking her out and getting your ass back in the game! (Closes Stan's laptop)

Stan: I swear to God, I promise I'll ask her out.

Sam: Okay good. (Grabs Stan's laptop) Now, after witnessing the evils that your laptop held, the only logical thing to do now would be to destroy it.

Stan: Why, we'll just delete the files.

Sam: Nope, shit like this can always be recovered somehow. We have to shatter this thing into a million pieces.

(Cut to Stan's backyard where Stan, Apollo, and Sam are dressed in their superhero clothes)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psychotic Knuckle! (Punches the computer causing the screen to shatter. Apollo then tosses the laptop up in the air and before it can fall back to the ground, Sam shows up)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Whips out lightsaber) Red's Blade! (He cuts the laptop into even pieces, and they fall on the ground)

Stan/Tool Shed: (Takes out sledgehammer) Hectic Hammer! (Smashes the laptop into even smaller pieces, destroying it) Okay, I think we're done now.

Sam/Sir Justice: I don't think so. Someone could reconstruct the circuits if they worked at it. We've got to burry this thing at Stark's Pond)

(Cut to Stark's Pond where the three teenagers, now out of their superhero clothes place rocks and the laptop pieces in a garbage back. The rocks are meant to weight the back down. Stan throws the bag into the pond and it sinks to the bottom)

Sam: Okay, it should be fine now.

Apollo: Wouldn't it have been much easier and less time consuming if we just burned it with fire?

Sam: Yeah, but this way was more fun. Anyway, I wonder what Cody's up to.

Apollo: Why don't we pay him a visit? (The three teenagers row back to shore)

(Cut to Cody's Mansion where he's guiding Stan, Sam, and Apollo into his game room. The room in question has green carpeting, yellow wallpaper with white stripes, and wooden molding. Cody has things like loudspeakers that play music, a billiard table, an air hockey table, a ping pong table, and a huge T.V with movies and video games. It seems that the likes of Kevin, Millie, Maria, Sophocles, Clyde, and Bridgette are already here. Kevin is jamming out to the music blasting on the loudspeakers, Sophocles is watching a sports game on the T.V, Clyde and Maria are playing billiards, and Millie and Bridgette are playing air hockey)

Sam: This is quite the game room you have here, Cody.

Cody: I'm not one to brag but, yeah, it's pretty awesome.

Clyde: (Notices Stan, Sam, and Apollo) Hey, look who's here!

Maria: Hi, brother, would you like to play next round?

Apollo: I'll give it a try. (Goes over to Clyde and Maria)

Stan: (Sees Kevin dancing) Hey Kevin, let me show you how it's done. (Goes over to dance with Kevin)

Kevin: So you think you can dance? Shake it for me, drop it like it's hot, dude!

Cody: I'm glad you decided to swing by, Samuel. I need the moral support.

Sam: Why, what's wrong?

Cody: Well, I've invited Bebe over as well because I want to ask her something. I want to ask her if…

Sam: Oh you're going to propose to her?! Congratulations! Granted, I think you two are too young, you both haven't even graduated high school yet, and you should probably wait until you tie the knot. But on the other hand you and Bebe have been together for eight years. That's the kind of love that endures. I don't care what you do as long as you know what you're doing.

Cody: Uh, Sam, I don't plan on proposing to Bebe…at least not yet. Listen, my family reunion is happening tomorrow. I want to invite Bebe so she can have a chance to meet my family.

Sam: Oh. Well that's cool.

Cody: It is. I already asked Mr. Stevens if it was okay, and he agreed. He trusts me completely.

(As soon as he says that, Cody's butler, Reginald, walks into the game room with Bebe)

Reginald: Master Cody, Mistress Bebe has arrived. (He leaves as Bebe enters the game room)

Bebe: Hi, Codykins! (She hugs and kisses Cody)

Cody: Bebe, my dearest darling.

Bebe: From what I understand you wanted to ask me something.

Cody: That's correct, my beautiful flower.

Bebe: I'm flattered you wanted to talk to me in person, but I also could've accepted a phone call or e-mail.

Cody: But if I did that, I wouldn't get to stare into your gorgeous blue eyes.

Bebe: Awww.

Millie: (Overhears this) Get a room, lovebirds.

Sam: (Igornes Millie's comment and faces Cody) Go on, Cody, tell Bebe what you told me.

Cody: Okay. (Faces Bebe) Bebe, I'd like it if you could come with me to my family reunion in Boulder tomorrow.

Bebe: (Blushes) R-Really.

Cody: Yeah. I want everyone to get a chance to meet you. And don't worry, I already asked you father if you can go and he says yes. He trusts me completely.

Bebe: I-I don't know what to say. I want to go, because I get to be with you, babe. But I've never really met any other member of your family outside of Dr. Sophocles and occasionally your parents.

Cody: You don't have to come if you don't want to.

Bebe: I didn't say I don't want to go. It sounds like a load of fun, I'm just worried that your family won't like me.

Cody: The Oppenheimer's have a special motto…

(Before Cody can say it, someone else say sit for him. It's Cody's Uncle Noah)

Noah: (Enters the room) A friend of one of the Oppenheimer's is a friend of them all.

Cody: Uncle Noah!

Noah: Hey there, Cody, how the hell are you, buddy? (Hugs Cody)

Cody: I've been doing great, uncle.

(Sophocles turns his attention away from the T.V to see his brother)

Sophocles: Noah, brother!

Noah: Ah, Sophocles, my little brother! It's great to see you again. (The two shake hands) It's been a while.

Sophocles: I'll say. You haven't talked to any of us in person for about ten years or so.

Noah: I know. I missed you.

Sophocles: I missed you too.

Noah: (Turns to Cody) So, my nephew, who are these other people you have here.

Cody: I'd like to introduce you to my friends Sam, Millie, Kevin, Clyde, Bridgette, Maria, Apollo…(Holds Bebe's hand) And this lovely lady is my girlfriend, Bebe.

Noah: I say, nephew, you have a fine taste in women.

Cody: (Chuckles) Easy, uncle, Bebe is mine.

Noah: Don't worry I'm not going to steal her from you. You two actually look cute together.

Bebe: (Smiles) We're glad you think so…uh, Noah was it?

Noah: You got it. You seem like a nice girl Bebe. We'd be honored if you come with us to the Oppenheimer Family Reunion.

Sophocles: Yeah, Bebe, it'll be fun.

Cody: Don't tempt her, you two. It's Bebe's choice whether she wants to go or not.

Bebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Okay, let's do it.

Noah: That's the spirit. It'll be fun.

Bridgette: Clyde, Apollo, Maria, Millie, Kevin, and I can come with you for moral support. Isn't that right everyone?

(The five other friends nod)

Bridgette: That's okay with you, right Sophocles?

Sophocles: You know what they say, the more the merrier.

Clyde: Awesome!

Kevin: I'd better get home and pack my bags.

Millie: Same here!

(Clyde, Apollo, Bridgette, Millie, Kevin, and Maria leave so they can prepare for tomorrow)

Sophocles: (Turns to Sam and Stan) Would you two like to come with also? We don't mind.

Sam: No, it's cool.

Stan: Yeah, plus there's some yard work my dad might need help with tomorrow.

Sophocles: Suit yourselves. (Turns to Bebe) So, we'll all meet back here tomorrow at 7:00 A.M. Make sure you get a good night sleep. I'll be sure to phone the six coming with us the same thing.

Bebe: Okay.

Noah: Well, I'm going to head back to my hotel suite at the South Park Inn. See you all tomorrow at the family reunion.

Sophocles: Okay brother, have a good night.

(Noah leaves, but as he leaves Cody's mansion, he talks to himself)

Noah: So, some of these kids are the South Park Saints Satan has warned me about. If that's the case, then this weekend just go a whole lot more interesting. (Chuckles evilly)

 **TO BE COTINUED…**

 **(Question of the chapter: How do you feel about most of the characters being shipped with OCs? And follow up, how do you feel about Red being a lesbian in this fanfic (Refer to earlier chapters)?)**


	20. Cody's Family Reunion (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 19: Cody's Family Reunion (Part 2)

(The time has finally come for the Oppenheimer Family Reunion. Cody, his parents Harold and Linda, Sophocles, Bebe, Clyde, Bridgette, Millie, Apollo, Maria, and Kevin are riding in a limousine to the event with Cody's Uncle Noah following behind with his pick-up truck and semi-trailer)

 **(Harold Oppenheimer is has combed back brown hair and blue eyes, and he is wearing a green sweater vest with a blue diamond pattern on it and he has a white undershirt underneath it, black pants, and brown loafers)**

 **(Linda Oppenheimer has nice long strawberry blonde hair and green eyes, and she is wearing a yellow button up blouse, tan colored pants, and black heels)**

Millie: I've never rode in one of your limousines before, Cody, it's quite nice.

Harold: We're glad you like it…uh…do you prefer Millie or Mildred?

Millie: Most of my friends call me Millie, but it doesn't matter.

Linda: We're just glad to see more of our Cody's friends. We've seen Bebe plenty of times, but we've never really seen a lot of you folks.

Clyde: We're glad we finally get a chance to meet you guys too.

Harold: Sorry we don't see each other often, my wife and I are always busy with our jobs that we barley get to spend time with each other as a family. That's why I cherish moments like this.

Cody: I cherish moments like this as well, father.

Harold: I'm glad son.

Bebe: So, Cody, what's your great grandfather like? I mean, it is his mansion we're visiting after all.

Cody: Oh, Bebe, you'll love Great Grandpa James. He's so nice and I'm sure he's going to like you just like the rest of our family will. Like our family motto goes, "A friend of one of the Oppenheimers is a friend of them all." Just wait, you and him will get along just fine.

Bebe: I sure hope so.

Bridgette: (Looks out the back window of the limousine to see look at Noah and his semi-trailer)

Apollo: Hey, Bridgette, what's wrong?

Clyde: Yeah, babe, you seem a little…nervous about something.

Bridgette: I'm just curious as to what's inside that semi-trailer that Noah is dragging?

Sophocles: Noah said that it was a surprise meant for the whole family.

Harold: A surprise, eh? That's peculiar, growing up Noah wasn't a fan of surprises.

Sophocles: And he was less of a fan trying to make surprises.

Cody: Maybe he's trying something new.

Sophocles: Maybe, but I'm sure whatever it is it's of little to no concern.

(Meanwhile, in Noah's semi-truck, he is thinking to himself as he's driving)

Noah: My little brother Sophocles was always the prodigy in the family, always the center of attention…but I was the one who couldn't do anything right, or the one who couldn't amount to the likes of him. Oh, ho, ho, ho, but today is the day…that'll all change in the blink of an eye.

(A quick shot of the gorilla mech inside the semi-trailer is shown before we cut to the introduction)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (11 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, and Noah). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut back to the town of South Park where Sam and Wendy are out on a walk)

Wendy: So, how's life for my handsome bachelor?

Sam: Pretty sweet. A little lonely, but sweet.

Wendy: So why don't you look for a roommate? Perhaps Butters would like to room with you and get away from his parents for a while.

Sam: Not a bad idea. In fact, I was actually thinking about asking you if you want to move in with me…but then I was worried as to what your parents would think. I just spent the last eight years trying to get your father to like me and I don't want to ruin what we have.

Wendy: I understand. Well, I told my parents that when I graduate high school next month I'd like some independence when I go on to college. Maybe I'll rent out a small studio apartment near campus…and maybe you can move in with me then. You'll never be lonely again.

Sam: (Hugs her) Baby, you're the greatest.

Wendy: Aw, come here you.

(Sam and Wendy begin to make out when Kurt and Heidi appear in front of them)

Heidi: Alright, break it up you crazy kids.

Kurt: Yeah, don't make us turn the hose on you two.

(Sam and Wendy stop kissing to turn their attention to Heidi and Kurt)

Sam: Oh come on, dude, I've seen you kiss Annie many times before.

Wendy: Speaking of which, where is she?

Kurt: Since prom is coming up, Mrs. Knitts decided to take her, Red, and Ursula dress shopping. Mr. Knitts is out visiting some family in Oregon for the weekend and decided to close the bakery for today. That pretty much means I have the day off today.

Heidi: And I'm just hanging around here because plot demands it.

Kurt: Anyway, we're glad we found you. Come with us!

Wendy: Why? What's happening?

Kurt: It's Cartman!

Sam: What happened? Did he find the seventh advocate?

Heidi: No, nothing like that. Just come with us!

(Sam, Wendy, Heidi, and Kurt hurry off to Cartman's house. Upon arriving there, the four heroes see Cartman showing off a white Ford Transit to Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Butters)

Sam: Whoa, nice van.

Wendy: Is this what you two wanted to show us?

Kurt: Yup. Apparently Cartman got this van off of someone from Craigslist, hardly used, in mint condition.

Heidi: From what I've heard, this van is the 2020 model with speeds up to 150 mph, can seat up to 15 people, and has a secret compartment in the back that can fit a body…if one needed to of course.

Cartman: (Turns notice the quartet staring from across the street) Hey, dudes, over here! (Sam, Wendy, Heidi, and Kurt come over) What do you think of my sweet ride?

Sam: I don't know what to say, dude. It's…downright kick ass awesome!

Kurt: A fine machine indeed.

Wendy: My question is how even acquired this vehicle to begin with?

Cartman: Simple, really, I just saved up my allowances for the past few years, asking for advances here and there, and boom…Ford Transit! The guy brought it over this morning. I'm taking this baby for a spin around town later today. My mom said I could.

Stan: Where do you plan on going with it?

Cartman: I told my mom I'd be going to Walmart.

Butters: Walmart? Can we come along for the ride?

Cartman: Of course you can all come…for 20 bucks each.

(The rest of the gang makes noises of disapproval)

Kyle: Dude, that is a dick move.

Cartman: (Laughs) Just kidding.

Kyle: (Groans) Even though your behavior evened out over the last eight years…your trollish sense of humor hasn't.

Sam: So, Cartman, can we call our parents so they know where we are?

Cartman: I guess that's okay. I also have our costumes and weapons up in my room in case shit hits the fan while we're out.

Kenny: Good call, dude.

(Before our heroes go anywhere, however, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin decides to swing by)

Kelly: Morning, do-gooders! (Hugs Sam, causing him to roll his eyes) And a very special good morning to you, my wonder boy.

Wendy: (Glaring at Kelly) I'm going to need someone to hold me back before I do something I might regret!

Stan: Wendy, take deep breaths and think about green pastures with nice apple trees.

Cartman: Or you could let your temper flare and give Kelly what she deserves because OH MY FUCKING GOD! She is so annoying and why does she insist on following us around?!

Kenny: (Manages to pull Sam free from Kelly's hug) Yeah, Kel, seriously, don't you have anything better to do?

Kelly: Let's see, I have no homework this weekend, my parents are out of town, everything on T.V is shit…nope I have nothing better to do. So, what are you guys up to?

Wendy: If it's any business of yours, we're going on a little road trip.

Kelly: Really?! Where to?

Cartman: None of your goddamn business that's where we're going!

Kelly: Aw, you guys can tell me.

Butters: (Enthusiastically) We're going to Walmart!

Kyle: Damn it, Butters!

Kelly: Walmart! Can I come?

Wendy: No way, uh-uh, absolutely not!

Kelly: (Pouts) Aw, Sam can't you do something.

Sam: Well, uh…(Turns to look at his friends who are shaking their heads. He turns back to face Kelly) It seems that I'm outvoted, Kel…I'm sorry.

Cartman: Yeah, so go home and take a nap or something.

Heidi: Come on, everyone, let's phone our parents.

(As everyone goes inside Cartman's house to make a phone call to their parents, Kelly is still standing outside)

Kelly: I'm coming with you all whether you like it or not. I just have to hide in Cartman's nifty new van.

(Kelly heads over to the back doors of the van and finds the secret compartment in the floor. She opens the door to it, gets inside, and closes the door to both the back of the van and the compartment. It's at this moment when everyone comes out of Cartman's house, costumes in tow)

Cartman: Alright, y'all ready to hit the road?

Kurt: Oh, you bet I am, dude!

Butters: Let's take to the highway, good buddy!

Kyle: I'll keep our costumes with us in the back.

Sam: Kyle, you're a gentleman and a scholar, thank you.

Kenny: I call shotgun!

(Everybody gets into the Ford Transit, buckles their seatbelts, and Cartman drives off)

(We cut to Cody's party when they finally arrive to Great Grandpa James' Mansion in Boulder. His mansion is about three stories tall and looks like something straight out of Newport, Rhode Island)

Clyde: (Looking out the limousine's window and is intimidated by the mansion's sheer size) Woah! Look at this!

Cody: Impressive, isn't it?

Apollo: Impressive is the understatement, Cody.

Harold: The Oppenheimer family wealth is one that spans many generations. It's that wealth that gave my grandfather James this mansion.

Kevin: Not even lying, this mansion makes your mansion look like a refugee tent, Cody.

Cody: You're impressed now, wait until you see the backyard.

(The limousine stops with Noah stopping his vehicle behind Cody's team. Everyone gets out to find an old man waiting at the bottom of the front steps with two of his. This old man is Great Grandpa James Oppenheimer. Everyone gets out of their respective vehicles to greet him)

 **(James Oppenheimer is a 97 year old man, and even though he appears to have a nice physique for a man his age, he's still carrying around a metal walking stick. He has blue eyes, pure white hair and a groomed white mustache and beard. He's wearing a dark blue sweater jacket with a gray undershirt, green pants, and brown loafers)**

James: Good to see you all again.

Sophocles: Grandpa James, it's been a while.

James: It most certainly has, grandson. (Sees Noah) Noah, what a surprise! We haven't seen you in a while.

Noah: What can I say? I had other business to attend to.

James: Still It'd be nice to hear from you every once in a while. I missed you.

Noah: (Smirks) I've missed you to, grandpa.

Cody: Hi, Great Grandpa James.

James: Oh, Cody! Look at how much you've grown. You've sprouted up like a weed since the last time I saw you, my great grandson.

Linda: (Hugs her son) That's my little Cody, growing up every day.

(Cody's friends giggle causing him to blush)

Cody: (Chuckles) Stop it, mom, you're embarrassing me.

James: (Looks over at Cody's band of friends) Who are these folks you brought here, Cody?

Cody: Oh, Great Grandpa James, these are my friends: Apollo, Maria, Millie, Kevin, Clyde, Bridgette, and last but not least, my beautiful girlfriend, Bebe.

James: Why, it's nice to meet you all. (Looks over at Bebe) Especially you, Barbara.

Bebe: Barbara? I haven't been called that name in years. It feels kind of nice.

James: I'm so glad that my great grandson managed to find somebody that makes him happy. So, how about I give you all a tour of my humble abode?

Clyde: That sounds like a kick ass idea, dude!

Bridgette: (Whispers in his ear) Babe, I love you enthusiasm, but don't forget he's from another generation.

Clyde: (Thinks for a bit) What I meant to say was…That sounds like a kick ass idea, _sir._

James: Come along then, follow me.

(Everybody follows James inside while Noah sees them off)

Noah: You lot go ahead, I'll catch up with you in a moment. (He leaves for his semi-trailer, talking to himself as he walks along) Sophocles has always been the center of attention. Between the two of us, it's always my younger brother that's been the most successful. Nobody seems to give a damn about me. (He opens up the door to his semi-trailer) Well now…that's all about to change! (He admires his gorilla mech and grins evilly)

(We interrupt this moment to take you back to Cartman and his gang, who are riding down I-70 in the Ford Transit. Kelly is still stowing away in the secret compartment)

Kelly: (Thinking to herself) Damn, it's so cramp in here. My muscles are getting so sore. No worries, as soon as the van stops, I'll get out to not only give my body a well deserved stretching, but also to surprise my Samuel.

(As Kelly continues to swoon over thoughts of Sam, we cut to the rest of the crew who are just enjoying the ride…or at least Cartman is. The rest of the crew is confused as to where they're going)

Sam: Hey, Cartman?

Cartman: What is it, dude?

Sam: Why do we have to get on the interstate to get to Walmart?

Wendy: Yeah, we already have a conveniently placed on back home.

Cartman: I don't like to go to the one in South Park anymore. I want to explore and see what other Walmarts there are around here.

Kyle: You don't like to go to the Walmart back in South Park? Why?

Cartman: Parking sucks. It takes 10 minutes to find a good space.

Kyle: That's your reason? The parking sucks? Dude the service is great in that Walmart, it's clean, and the selection of DVDs are badass. It has just about every movie imaginable!

Cartman: You can reason with me all you want, but we're still going to find another Walmart.

Kyle: Whatever, dude.

Kenny: You're such a dumbass sometimes, Cartman.

Wendy: Sometimes? Try all times.

(As that's going on, Sam turns over to Stan)

Sam: Stan, I think this is your chance to ask Heidi out. Look, she's sitting right there. (Points at Heidi, who is sitting in her seat trying to apply blush)

Stan: I don't know. You think I can do this?

Sam: Are you kidding, I know you can do this. I have a gut instinct that Heidi is the one for you. All you have to do is just say these magic words, "Heidi, would you like to go out sometime?"

Stan: What if she says no?

Sam: Her loss. You're a cool guy and any girl would be lucky to have a dude as awesome as you.

Stan: But what if…

Sam: Enough excuses! (He reaches into his pocket for a stick of gum and gives it to Stan) Here, give this to Heidi. This'll be a good conversation starter. Now get out there and don't report back to me until you've settled on what restaurant you want your first date to be at.

Stan: Okay, wish me luck. (He scoots over to Heidi) Hey, uh, Heidi.

Heidi: (Puts her blush away) Hey, Stan, what's going on?

Stan: Nothing…I…just wanted to give you some gum. (Gives her the stick of gum)

Heidi: Oh, gee, thanks Stan. (Unwraps the gum and eats it) You're so thoughtful.

Stan: (Blushes and chuckles nervously) What can I say…I'm the perfect gentleman.

Heidi: (Nods) Uh-huh. So is that all, or is there something else?

Stan: (Inhales deeply) Actually, there is something else.

Heidi: You can go ahead and tell me, Stan. I'm all ears.

Stan: Well, Heidi. What I want to ask you is…would you like t-

(Before Stan could finish his sentence, Cartman hits a bump in the road, causing Heidi to choke on her gum)

Kurt: Oh snap, crackle, and pop! Heidi is choking!

Butters: Oh hamburgers!

Sam: (Realizing that Heidi is choking on his gum) And now's the time I tuck and roll. How do I get out of here? (Starts looking for an exit)

Stan: Hang on, Heidi, I got you! (He gives Heidi the Heimlich maneuver, causing her to spit out the gum. It bounces off the windshield and hits Wendy right in the eye)

Wendy: Gah!

Kyle: Gross, dude!

Cartman: I'll say, some of your spit got on my windshield, Heidi.

Wendy: (Takes the gum out of her eye and throws it out the window) Heidi, I'd better not catch anything from having your spittle laden gum wad fly into my face

Heidi: (Panting) You mean mono? Wendy, relax, I've never had mono ever! Actually, I haven't caught much of a cold in three years.

Stan: You must have a very healthy immune system.

Heidi: Yeah, I drink lots of orange juice. So, what were you saying, Stan?

Stan: I…uh…nothing…it's stupid.

Heidi: Oh…okay.

(Sam shakes his head and looks out the window, trying to figure out where in the world they are)

Sam: Cartman, I don't know where we are anymore.

Butters: (Shudders nervously) Are we lost?

Cartman: Relax everyone. It doesn't matter if you know where we are.

Kurt: What do you mean it doesn't matter? You said we were going to Walmart! But we're not! We're like in fucking, Black Hawk or something! I don't know, I'm not familiar with this area!

Kenny: Kurt, calm down. Something's telling me this is another one of Cartman's tricks.

Cartman: I don't even know what you're talking about, Kenny.

Kyle: You don't know what he's talking about? You've been…(He notices that Cartman has passed another exit) Oh fuck! Where are we going!

Cartman: You'll find out.

Sam: Cartman, this isn't funny anymore! Get us off the interstate, now!

Cartman: (Sigh) Okay, Sam, because you asked so nicely, I'm being sarcastic by the way, I'll get you all off of the interstate. (He gets off at the next exit for Evergreen)

Wendy: Answer me this, Cartman, are we really going to Walmart, or are you just fucking with us.

Cartman: Okay, I'm just going to tell you all this right now, because you're going to find out in a couple of minutes…we're not going to Walmart.

Kenny: (Sarcastically) Gee, what a shocker.

Cartman: Kenny, shut up! Anyway, I wanted a Sausage Egg McMuffin.

Sam: A Sausage Egg McMuffin!

Cartman: Yes…with a hashbrown.

Sam: From where?

Cartman: McDonalds! Where else would I get a McMuffin?

Stan: There's a McDonalds on Pleasant Avenue back at home!

Cartman: I didn't want to go to the one on Pleasant Avenue. I like coming out here.

Kyle: But we told our parents that we're going to Walmart with you, not a McDonalds in Evergreen!

Butters: I don't know guys, I'm kind of enjoying myself on this little ride.

Heidi: Butters, nobody cares! Our family thinks we're going to Walmart, but we're actually going on a Mickey D Adventure miles from home!

Sam: I don't know, maybe some good can come out of this. I think we're all a bit hungry and we should get some food in us.

Cartman: Nice job looking on the bright side, Sammy!

Sam: Just shut up and drive, man.

Cartman: Okay, okay, Mr. Bossy. (Continues to drive towards McDonalds)

(Meanwhile, with Cody and Bebe's party, James Oppenheimer finishes giving the tour of his mansion by showing them his living room. The living room has access to the backyard via a sliding glass door. The room itself has loads of pictures of the Oppenheimer family all over the white walls. The ceiling is painted to look like the sky, and there's a chandelier in the center of it. The room itself has marble floors, big cozy red chairs and couches, a huge T.V with stereo system, small stone tables with brass lamps, a stone coffee table, and mahogany shelves with more pictures, books, and assorted knick-knacks all over them)

James: And this is my living room.

Clyde: (Whistles) Now this is a sweet living room.

Bridgette: Yes, Mr. Oppenheimer, this is quite the room if I do say so myself.

James: Why thank you. I make sure to adorn my living room with the best furniture I can get my wrinkly mitts on.

Kevin: (Lays down on James' couch) Oh this is where it's at! I can just nap right here.

Sophocles: Kevin, where's your manners! Get your feet off the furniture!

James: Leave the boy alone, Sophocles. Besides, if he ruins it I can always buy a new one.

Millie: You mean it's okay if we just put our feet on the furniture?

James: I really don't care, young lady. You know what they say: Mi casa es su casa.

Apollo: (Looking around) This whole mansion is amazing! How do you even afford it?

Kevin: Yeah, are you some kind of wizard that just makes gold and coins appear out of thin air?

Harold: Actually everyone, our grandfather was a part of a band of high paying mercenaries.

James: Yes I was. Back in the late 1940s to the mid 1980s, Cody's Great Grandmother and I were a part of a special forces organization that specialized in the eradication of ghosts, aliens, monsters, zombies, cyborgs, and leprechauns.

Millie: Leprechauns?

James: Yeah, leprechauns were pure evil back in the day. That crappy movie about them that was made in 1993 was actually a documentary from one of our members that survived an encounter with one of them.

Bebe: No disrespect, sir, but this all sounds a little farfetched.

James: Oh it's real, I have all of my trophies to prove it! (He points at the "trophies" that are sitting on some shelves. These trophies are actually bones and remains of monster that he's slain in his younger days) And also, you should know by now that this writer enjoys making stuff up.

Maria: Whatever crack this writer is smoking I want some.

James: (Ignores that comment) We were a part of the Phenomenal Abomination Wiping Guild: A worldwide organization dedicated to monster hunting.

Clyde: Wait, back up a minute. Phenomenal Abomination Wiping Guild?

James: Yes, P.A.W.G!

Clyde: I really hope you realize that since your day, someone took those same letters in that same order…but changed the words so they'd fit in well with the porn industry.

James: Really? What does it stand for?

Clyde: Uh…it's not appropriate, just look up P.A.W.G on Urban Dictionary when you find the time.

James: Okay then. (Turns to Cody) Cody, be a lamb and grab that picture on the top shelf of my wall unit.

Cody: Yes, sir. (He grabs the picture and gives it to James. The picture is a huge group photo of a young James Oppenheimer, his wife, and a bunch of other people of different ethnicities. James shows it to everyone)

Maria: Look at all of those people.

Kevin: Are these your brothers and sisters in arms, Mr. Oppenheimer.

James: Yes indeed. Like I said, the Phenomenal Abomination Wiping Guild is a worldwide organization dedicated to monster hunting and paranormal investigating. A few of these members you see here had kids, grand kids, and even great grand kids that are still fighting in the organization today. There aren't as many monsters roaming the land as there were back in the day though. But it never hurts to have an organization like us on standby just in case. I retired from the organization in 1989 when I decided to dedicate my time to my family. I accumulated a vast amount of wealth to add on to my _already_ vast amount of wealth from working in the organization and I figured it'd be a good time to end that chapter of my life.

Apollo: Speaking of organizations, sir, we have an organization of our own.

Sophocles: That's right, grandpa, me, Cody, and these other people that you see before you are members of the South Park Saints.

James: I heard about you all! You sealed Damien away eight years ago and took out six of Satan's eight advocates already. I see my grandson and great grandson are following in my footsteps.

Cody: They're footsteps worth walking on, Papa James.

James: Why Cody, you haven't called me that since you were a wee tyke.

Cody: I figured I'd start using it again. You don't mind do you?

James: (Smiles) Not at all, Cody. So, shall I guide you all to the party outside?

Millie: You know it!

James: Follow me then. (He opens the sliding glass door and shows everyone the backyard. Everyone was amazed with what they saw: An Olympic sized swimming pool, huge gardens, a small area where people can do target practice with clay pigeons, and a pavilion where people ate food and danced among other areas)

Bridgette: Wow! It's so beautiful!

James: (Turns to her) I told you I accumulated a vast amount of wealth from my days in P.A.W.G

Kevin: (Snickers at hearing that)

Harold: Where's Noah!? He's going to miss out on all of the fun!

Linda: I'm sure he'll be here soon, honey, don't worry.

Maria: If he's out in the party, it's going to be hard to find him. There's so many people here that I can't even see him.

James: Like Linda said, he'll turn up eventually. In the meantime, have fun, cut loose and all that good stuff. (Turns to Cody) I'm sure your girlfriend would love to meet the rest of the family, Cody. Get her acquainted with everyone.

Cody: (Looks at Bebe) Is it okay with you?

Bebe: Hey, I'm game. Lead the way, sweetie.

Cody: Okay. (Bebe and Cody leave and head into the party)

James: As for the rest of you, enjoy yourselves. Come find me if you have any questions about the party. I'm glad to have met you all.

Maria: Same to you sir.

Kevin: (Runs for the pavilion) I'm ready to get my feedbag on! (He leaves as the rest of the crowd disperses and enjoys themselves)

(We cut back to Cartman's party, who finally arrives at the McDonalds in Evergreen, CO)

Stan: (Looks at the McDonalds in shock) Dude, you weren't kidding! We really are at a fucking McDonalds, in Evergreen!

Cartman: I'm a man of my word, if I say we're going to McDonalds we're going to McDonalds.

Kurt: You're a man of my ass! You lied, said we were going to Walmart, which is back in South Park, by the way, and now we're miles from home at a McDonalds in another town, all so you could get some food that you can get in literally any other McDonalds in the goddamn world!

Cartman: This isn't like the McDonalds back at home. In this McDonalds, they have Mt. Dew in their soda dispensers and the toilets in the bathroom flush by themselves.

Kyle: (Trying to contain his rage) So let me get this straight. You come all the way out here to Evergreen…just because the McDonalds here has toilets that flush by themselves and…the soda dispenser has Mt. Dew…

Cartman: Yeah.

Kyle: (Explodes) THAT IS THE STUPIDEST REASON TO COME OUT TO A MCDONALDS THAT'S OVER 60 MILES FROM HOME!

Wendy: Yeah, Cartman, you can just order McDonalds to go, and get Mt. Dew at a store somewhere, and what's the big deal about self-flushing toilets!

Cartman: Have you ever used one before?

Wendy: Yes, but that's not the point!

Sam: Can we all just calm down and get some food.

Cartman: Sammy boy has the right idea. Come on, everybody, it's lunchtime!

Heidi: It's a good thing that today is my cheat day.

Butters: I'm getting me a chicken nugget happy meal!

(As everybody leaves the car, Kelly is left alone in the van's secret compartment)

Kelly: Okay, everybody is gone. Now I'll just bust out of here, go into that McDonalds, and give my Sammy the biggest hug a girl can give to the man of their dreams! (Her stomach growls) And maybe grab a Filet O'Fish.

(Kelly tries to bust out of the compartment, but she can't. No matter how hard she tries, she can't get the compartment door open)

Kelly: Uh-oh! This doesn't look good. (Inhales deeply and tries to stay calm) No matter, they'll realize that I'm in here soon enough…I just hope it doesn't take that long.

(After a few more minutes, Cartman's party enters the van, full and ready to continue their journey. Butters is admiring his Happy Meal toy, which appears to be a Mickey Mouse keychain)

Butters: Oh boy, this Mickey Mouse keychain looks so cool! I'm totally putting this on my car keys when I get my driver's license.

Kenny: Totally not trying to sound rude, Butters, but aren't you a little old for Happy Meal toys…let alone Happy Meals in general?

Butters: Oh, Kenny, in my opinion, you're never too old for classic stuff like this! No, sir!

Kenny: Whatever.

Sam: (Turns to Cartman) So, are we finally going home?

Cartman: No, I feel like adventuring a little more.

Kelly: (From inside the compartment) OH, COME ON!

Sam: (Looks around) What was that? Am I hearing that strange voice again?

Wendy: It's probably nothing babe, just relax.

Stan: (Looks at Cartman) Seriously, Cartman, we're still not going home!?

Cartman: Don't worry, I'll have you all home by dark. (With that, the Ford Transit drvies off for more adventure)

(Cutting back to the Oppenheimer family reunion once again, everybody is having a grand time and we cut to different scenes of everyone having fun)

(Scene #1: Kevin is gobbling up plates of hot dogs and hamburgers as some of the members are looking at him with mixed expressions of disgust and amazement)

(Scene #2: Linda and Harold Oppenheimer are dancing to some music while Sophocles dances with a random lady)

(Scene #3: James and Maria are playing against each other in Chinese Checkers)

(Scene #4: Apollo is out with two male members of the Oppenheimer family, let's call them Cedric and Lucas, playing golf on the golf course. Cedric and Lucas are both wearing usual golf attire )

Apollo: (As he and the other two Oppenheimers approach the green of one of the holes) I'll be honest, I never knew golf could be this much fun!

Cedric: See, we told you. (Looks at score pad) You're beating Lucas by five points and you're close to getting ahead of me.

Lucas: Are you sure you haven't played this game before?

Apollo: No, I just have beginner's luck.

Cedric: Okay, Apollo, it's your turn to putt.

Apollo: Okay. (He grabs a putter, putts the golf ball, and it swings around the hole)

Lucas: Aw, tough break, Apollo.

Apollo: Yeah, I guess so…or is it? (Under his breath) Psycho Grip. (Using his mind he makes the ball go into the hole) Booyah!

(Scene #4: Millie is at the Olympic sized swimming pool to get a tan on. Her swimsuit is a green one piece swimsuit that shows the sides of her torso. It has a white floral pattern on it. She also has a nice pair of sunglasses on and a nice sun hat)

Millie: (Relaxing in a chair with a tanning mirror) Oh yeah! Now this is something every girl needs: A little sunlight!

(As Millie is getting her tan on, two more members of the Oppenheimer family, one being a strong male with blonde hair wearing a pair of light blue swim trunks, and the other being a brunette female wearing a pink and white stripped bikini. Let's call these two guys Nick and Mimi)

Mimi: (Looking around and pouting) I can't believe nobody here wants to play water volleyball. And all we need is one more person.

Nick: Calm down, sis. I'm sure we'll find somebo- HELLO!

(He sees Millie and he is completely awestruck by her. Millie then looks at Nick and she blushes hard as well)

Nick: (To himself) Hot babe, 12 o'clock!

Millie: (To herself) Ding, ding, ding! My hunk alarm is going off!

(Nick walks up to Millie)

Nick: H-Hey…I'm Nicholas Oppenheimer. I'm my Great Grandpa James' great nephew. I've never seen such a beautiful jewel like you here before?

Millie: That's because I'm one of Cody's friends. My name is Millie Larsen.

Nick: Beautiful name. So, Millie, me and my sister Mimi are looking for somebody to play water volleyball with if you're interested.

Millie: I want to be on your team! (Jumps into Nick's arms and he's carrying her bridal position)

Nick: Alright, we've got a game going! (Nick and Millie head over to the game in the pool)

Mimi: (Watching them) If they don't end up banging by the end of the night, I'm going to be highly surprised.

(Scene #5: Clyde and Bridgette are out on the clay pidgeon field with another Oppenheimer family member. This one is tall wearing hunting clothes, has brunette hair, five o'clock shadow, and green eyes. He also appears to be in his early 30s. His name is Joshua Oppenheimer. Joshua gives Clyde a double barrel shotgun)

Joshua: Okay, Clyde, you ever used one of these before.

Clyde: Not exactly. What do I do?

Joshua: Just hold the back part against your shoulder, look between the barrels to take aim, and then fire!

Clyde: It's that simple?

Joshua: It's that simple.

Bridgette: Clyde, please, in the name of all that is good, please be careful! Those things can take an eye out!

Clyde: Aw, you worry too much, honey. I'll be fine.

Joshua: Okay, Clyde, I'm about to fire the first clay pigeon. You ready?

Clyde: Does a bear shit in the woods?

Joshua: Yes.

Clyde: Then that's your answer, buck-o! Let 'er rip!

Bridgette: (Covers her eyes) I can't watch! (She spreads her middle and index finger apart so she's staring at Clyde with one eye)

Joshua: Here we go!

(A clay pigeon is fired and Clyde shoots it down flawlessly)

Clyde: Holy crap, that was awesome! (Bridgette lowers her hands, seeing that Clyde knows what he's doing) Let's do another one! (Another clay pigeon is fired and Clyde shoots that one down)

Joshua: Hey, hey, hey, you're a natural kid!

Clyde: God I hope the zombies attack today! (He cocks the shotgun and shoots down another clay pigeon) Bridgette, baby, check me out!

Bridgette: You really are great, sweetie! (To herself) I should not be turned by this right now.

(Finally, Scene #6. Cody is showing Bebe around when they come across two more people. It's Cody's cousin, Brody Oppenheimer, and his girlfriend Natalie. Brody looks like Cody, except he has well groomed black hair, a dark blue sweater, brown pants, and black loafers, and he's wearing contact lenses. Natalie has long brunette hair and green eyes, and she is wearing a long sleeve pink shirt with a peace sign on it, a red skirt that goes to her knees, pink sandals, and diamond earrings)

Brody: Cody, my cousin!

Cody: (Hugs Brody) Hey, Brody! What's going on, my friend!

Brody: Same old, same old, my father's miniature golf course is still the best in Lake George.

Cody: Good to know. (Turns to Bebe) Bebe, I want you to meet my cousin Brody Oppenheimer, and his girlfriend Natalie.

Brody: Hey there, Bebe, nice to meet you. (Shakes her hand)

Bebe: The feeling is mutal, Brody.

Natalie: (Shakes Bebe's hand next) Hi, Bebe. Brody and I heard a lot about you from Cody. You're just as beautiful as he described you. I also feel a nice aura emitting from you. It's calming and pleasant to be around.

Bebe: (Smiles) I'm glad you think so, Natalie.

Natalie: So how long have you guys been dating.

Cody: About eight years now.

Brody: Eight years, Cody?! That's amazing! Me and Natalie have been together for only five.

Natalie: But they were the best five years of my life, sweetie.

Brody: Back at you, honey. (They kiss each other before going back to the conversation) Anyway, we're glad to see you two are happy.

Cody: Thanks, cousin. You two look very content yourselves.

Brody: Thank you. So, out of curiosity, and feel free not to answer, but have either of you…uh…how do I put this? Have either of you taken your relationship to he next level?

Cody: What do you mean, like, sex?

Brody: Well, yeah. I mean, you two were together for eight years. Surely you guys must have done it at least once.

Natalie: Yeah. Me and Brody have been together for five years and we've done it at least on three separate occasions.

(Cody and Bebe aren't sure how to respond)

Cody: Well…it's not that we haven't thought about what our first time will be like. When it's going to happen, where it'll happen, if we should wait until marriage, what protection method we should use. You know, the usual questions.

Bebe: I think another factor is that we're not trying to rush things. Cody and I are going at our own pace.

Cody: We'll be ready when we're ready.

Brody: That's another important factor in relationships: Going at your own pace. Don't rush into things. Make compromises so your relationship is hardly ever on the rocks.

Natalie: I'd say you two are made for each other.

Cody: Yeah. (Blushes at Bebe) I think so too. (Bebe smiles and blushes back).

(It's at this moment when James Oppenheimer comes up to the two couples)

James: And how are we all doing over here?

Brody: We're doing just fine, grandpa. Just hanging out with my cousin and his girlfriend.

James: I can see that. Say, can I borrow them for a second? Unless you lot were having a conversation.

Bebe: No sir, we're fine.

Natalie: Yeah, plus Brody and I were going to head over to the pavilion to grab some food.

Brody: That's right. See you two around. It was nice to meet you, Bebe. (Turns to Natalie) Come along, dear.

Natalie: Okay. (She and Brody leave as James begins his conversation with Cody and Bebe)

Cody: So, what's up, Papa James?

James: Well, since you two are members of the South Park Saints, I figured I'd share a secret that I've learned during my time in P.A.W.G.

Cody: A secret? What kind of secret?

James: It's the power of Love Sync.

Bebe: Love Sync? What's that?

James: Please allow me to explain. I'll go back to the beginning, when I first met my late wife, Gladys. She transferred from P.A.W.G's Indianapolis Branch to our branch in Denver. Our branch needed a good gunman at the time, and she fit the bill perfectly. She was so beautiful. She had beautiful eyes and nice blonde hair, just like you Barbara.

Bebe: Really?

James: Yes. I guess you can say an Oppenheimer's taste in women runs in the family. Anyway, it took a lot of courage, but I finally managed to build up the gumption to ask her out to a play that was showing in Denver that night. The date went so well we just kept seeing each other. There was a sort of pattern to things: Get a case, go on a date, get a case, go on a date. Before either of us knew it, I was asking her to marry me. We enjoyed each other's company so much that I viewed matrimony as the next logical step. Our wedding day was the happiest day either of us ever had.

Cody: I'm sure it was.

James: As years went on, Gladys and I started a family, still working for P.A.W.G, but we didn't really force our own kids to join the organization.

Bebe: That's good. My parents always say you shouldn't push kids into things they don't want to do, or else they'd resent you.

James: So true. Anyway, despite the amount of stress we were under between raising our family and accepting missions from P.A.W.G, Gladys and I still managed to find some downtime to just love each other and remind ourselves why we got married to begin with: To enjoy each other's company and make each other happy. And, of course, every night before we'd go to sleep, Gladys would cuddle up to me, head nestled against my chest so she can listen to my heart beat.

(Bebe and Cody smile warmly at the sheer adorableness of it all)

James: It was one night when we had a cuddle session when I realized that Gladys and I getting together wasn't just a fluke. She nuzzled up to me like she always did, and five minutes later she told me, "Honey, your heartbeat matches mine." It was at that moment, I realized that Gladys was a gift from God, just as I was her gift.

Cody: Matching heartbeats? Is this where this Love Sync comes in, Papa James?

James: Exactly. One day, Gladys and I went on a mission to try and defeat a monster called Tooth Decay. It was supposedly harassing a small town up in Canada. Anyway, the odds were against us when I suddenly heard her heartbeat resonate from within her, just as she heard mine. Our chests started to glow and a new power was awakened. Love Sync allowed us to send that no good Tooth Decay packing. My Gladys and I were the first ones to discover this power and we shared it with our co-workers. Before we knew it, everyone in P.A.W.G was using Love Sync, not just lovers, but close friends too. Love is a very powerful emotion, and with it you can do just about anything. I'm wanting to tell you all this because if you two are truly in love, and you're already in an organization that supports wiping out forces of evil maybe you two can use Love Sync as well. So tell me, Cody, Barbara, how much do you really love each other.

Cody: I love Bebe more than anything, Papa James.

Bebe: For me, there's no life without Cody by my side.

James: Do you think you have the same bond that me and my Gladys shared?

Cody: We've been together for eight years now. I'd like to think so.

Bebe: (Turns to Cody and holds up her hand) Only one way to find out?

Cody: Yeah.

(Cody and Bebe place their hand on the other's chest. And they gasp in realization that their heartbeats sync up perfectly)

Bebe & Cody: A match!

James: (Smiles) Just as I thought. A relationship that lasts as long as yours is one that should be admired. I'm happy that my great grandson found someone he could call his own. I just hope I can stick around for a few more years so I can see you two get hitched.

Cody: I'm sure you will, Papa James. A man your age with great health like yours deserves to go another 20 years or more.

James: My Cody. You know exactly what to say and when to say it. Anyway, if your heartbeats match, that means your bond is practically unbreakable. Something that should be treasured. Something that can be used to your advantage. The next time you two get into a fight with one of these advocates, try using Love Sync. Tell your friends about it too. The more your squad knows about it the better.

Cody: (Smiles) Can do!

(Suddenly, the ground begins to shake. Maria, Apollo, Millie, Kevin, Bridgette, Clyde, Sophocles, Harold, and Linda meet up with the other three)

Maria: Wha-What's happening?

Kevin: I don't know, but I think we're about to find out.

(Suddenly, something jumps up into the sky. It's a giant mechanized gorilla)

Clyde: Now what have we here?

Bridgette: I hope I'm wrong, but I think this is an advocate's doing.

Noah: (On loudspeaker) _Right you_ _are!_

(A giant T.V pops out of the robot gorilla's head to show Noah sitting in his cockpit)

Millie: Well this is a sudden turn of events.

Cody: Uncle Noah?!

Harold: Brother…

Sophocles: Noah! What's going on here, explain yourself!

Noah: _You've been the center of attention for far too long, Sophocles! Now it's my time to shine! I can just imagine Damien's reaction when he hears that he has a whole family bloodline flowing inside him! The thought of it just makes me giddy (Chuckles)! Anyway, party's over! Time to face the wrath of my latest creation…The Haram-bot!_

(Everyone gasps, but Millie realizes something)

Millie: Wait…Haram-bot…and it's a mechanical gorilla…..this writer isn't trying anymore is he?

 **TO BE CONTINUED….AND HOPEFULLY IT WON'T TAKE HALF A YEAR TO GET A NEW CHAPTER OUT.**


	21. Cody's Family Reunion (Part 3)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 20: Cody's Family Reunion (Part 3)

(Starting this part of the chapter off, we have Cartman's gang, who are still driving around aimlessly. They pass a church that they don't recognize)

Sam: Okay, that sign just said Nederland Presbyterian Church! Where the fuck is Nederland?

Cartman: It's a town in Boulder County.

Sam: And pre tell how far is Boulder County from South Park?

Cartman: How should I know?

Wendy: Do you not look at your odometer?

Cartman: Why would I look at that?

Kyle: How the hell did you manage to get your driver's license?

Cartman: A whole lot of luck, Kyle. A whole lot of luck.

Kyle: This is complete bullshit.

Kurt: Face it, guys. I think Cartman's kidnapped us. Don't know what's in it for him, but he's legitimately kidnapped us.

Cartman: I'm not kidnapping you guys. I'm getting you guys out of the house. Look it's the weekend, a beautiful day. Perfect day for a drive.

(Suddenly, the gang hears snoring. Kelly Rutherford-Menskin is taking a relaxing nap in the secret compartment of Cartman's van)

Butters: Hey does anybody else hear a snoring sound?

Heidi: Not now, Butters. (Turns to Cartman) Cartman, face it! We're in the middle of nowhere, we're lost, we're tired, we want to go home. Can you take us home?

Cartman: Just a little while longer. (Pays attention to the road and sees nobody on the other side of the road) Want to see how British people drive.

Wendy: (Getting an idea on what Cartman's going to do) WHAT?!

Kenny: Dude, I really wouldn't recommend this. We're coming up on a turn and we don't know if someone's going to come around on the other side!

(Cartman drives on the other side of the road anyway)

Kenny: Oh my god!

Stan: It's official. Cartman went from kidnapping us, to now actively trying to kill us.

Sam: Cartman, get back to your side. You don't know if someone going to come around on the corner.

Cartman: I don't care. Let's play chicken.

Butters: Please, Eric, don't do this!

(Cartman turns the corner on the other side of the road, and no driver came up. He's still driving on the other side of the road though as another turn comes up)

Kurt: Cartman, you got lucky. But there's another sharp turn ahead. Get back on your side now.

Cartman: No way dude. This is fun. Watch! (He takes his hands off the wheel and his passengers begin to freak out)

Wendy: Cartman, get your hands back on the wheel! Jesus Christ!

(Cartman places his hands back on the wheel, and turns on the other side of the road)

Sam: Please stop, what if there's a car.

Cartman: Don't worry, airbags should protect us. I don't know what you're all worried about though, I have it all under contro…

Heidi: LOOK OUT FOR THAT DEER!

Cartman: (Sees the deer in the middle of the road) Holy shit!

(Cartman turns into the forest and now they're driving through the woods, plowing down trees. The ruckus is enough to wake Kelly up)

Kelly: (From her compartment) What's happening out there?!

(The rest of the crew doesn't hear her)

Butters: Oh hamburgers! We're careening through the woods!

Kurt: I hope you got car insurance, Cartman, you're so going to need it!

Cartman: (Trying to steer) I don't know where we're going!

Kyle: Oh shit! This is it! We're all gonna die!

Wendy: Cartman, if we survive this and you offer me a ride anywhere ever again, I'm taking a bus!

Cartman: Hang on tight, gang!

(The car continues to plow through the forest as we get to our intro)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (11 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, and Noah). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Back at the Oppenheimer Family Reunion, Noah and his Haram-bot are about to strike)

Noah: _(Laughs evilly) What better group of people to be my first victims than my brothers, my grandfather, and those pesky little Saints._

James: Noah, what is the meaning of this?

Noah: _I already said that I was sick of Sophocles being the center of attention. I try my hardest to keep up with my baby brother in terms of the field of science. But for some reason, he outdoes me every single time and the entire family gives never ending praise to him, and I get nothing. I'm getting tired of it. It got to the point that when I heard Sophocles' plan on creating the perfect boy went under, I was beside myself with glee! So I purposely tracked down the devil himself, and sold my soul to become a better scientist than him. On some occasions, even that wasn't enough! So what better way to make sure I stay the golden boy of the Oppenheimer family than to take out little Sophocles…and of course take out any eyewitnesses too (Takes a puff from his cigar)._

Cody: You don't scare us uncle! As the South Park Saints, we'll do whatever we have to do to make sure you don't harm a single one of us.

Noah: _Oh Cody, your display of arrogance annoys me. You shall be the first to go!_

Linda: No! Leave him alone!

Harold: Noah, think about what you're doing.

Noah: _I am! So get ready, my nephew, because here I come!_

(The Haram-bot gets ready to throw a punch but Great Grandpa James jumps in front of the attack and blocks it with his metal cane…and pushes the fist back)

Noah: _Wha-! Grandpa James!_

James: I'm not about to let you hurt my great grandson, Noah. I may be older than dirt, but I still have a few fires burning bright inside my spirit!

Bebe: Cody, are you okay?

Cody: Yeah, thanks love.

Clyde: Now would be a good time to get our butts in gear.

James: (Turns to the rest of the gang) He's right. Now _would_ be a good time to show me what you all can do. I'll hold Noah off while you all suit up and get your weapons ready. (Turns to Harold and Linda) Harold, Linda, round up the rest of the family and find a safe place to hide. I think we can handle this.

Harold: Okay, grandpa. (Harold and Linda leave and Cody's crew head inside the mansion to get their stuff ready)

Noah: _You know, grandpa. It's a legitimate miracle how you managed to live this long. I honestly thought you'd die a long time ago._

James: What can I say? (He lifts up his walking stick and it transforms into a gun) You should know that we Oppenheimers are known for long life spans.

Noah: _True_ (He looks at James' gun) _So your little cane was your trusty gun all along. Could have fooled me._

James: I never leave anywhere without Betsy. You never know when random stuff like this occurs in your day.

Noah: _I'm sure this is the least of what you've seen throughout your life as a P.A.W.G agent._

James: Retired P.A.W.G agent. But people like you, grandson, are reasons as to why I wonder if I should come out of retirement. Like I said, it doesn't matter how old I get, as long as my fighting spirit stays strong.

Noah: _Your yammering is beginning to annoy me! Let's fight already, old man!_

James: Well, if you insist!

(He charges at the Haram-bot quickly, and it gets ready to punch James again, this time landing a direct hit, causing James to fly back a bit, but he lands on his feet)

James: Hmph! Is that all you've got?

Noah: _I have so much more gramps! Now get a load of my Monkey Missiles!_

(Inside the cockpit of the Haram-bot, Noah presses a button, causing missiles to fly from the robot's back)

James: Child's play! (He pulls a Raiden from Metal Gear Rising and heads towards the Haram-bot by jumping on the missiles. When he gets closer to the Haram-bot he pulls out his gun and it charges up energy) Ragnarok Blaster!

(He fires a green colored blast of energy and sends the Haram-bot back a bit)

Noah: _GAH! How dare you!_

James: Noah, before we continue, please think about what you're doing. This is your family that you're doing this to. Now, I don't want to hurt you…but if you refuse to stop this nonsense, I'll have to resort to extreme measures.

Noah: _I've made my decision, grandpa! This is not only a way of appeasing Satan, but a way of getting revenge on all of you for not giving me the love I deserve. I was never good enough for you all, but Sophocles was always your golden boy._

James: This is foolish, Noah! Don't you know that we all love you equally? Please cease this foolishness!

Noah: _Well I certainly don't feel loved. And as far as this attack goes, it's too late. The die has been cast and this is something that I must do._

James: (Sigh) Very well, grandson. (Takes out a gilded dagger from his pocket and it starts to glow) But don't say I didn't warn you! Miraculous Dagger!

(James drives the dagger into the ground and a wave of multicolored energy rises from the ground and hits the Haram-bot. As Noah pilots the mechanical gorilla to get up, James comes charging at him, dagger in hand)

Noah: _Enough!_ (He presses a button in his cockpit, and red lazers come from the Haram-bot's eyes. James tries to parry the shots, but he ends up getting knocked back. Noah pilots the Haram-bot to walk up to James and has the robot raise a fist) _Time to squash you like the annoying insect that you are!_

(Noah is just about to make the Haram-bot smash Noah into the ground when…)

 _ **BLAM!**_

(An attack hits the Haram-bot in the fist, ceasing the attack. Noah looks from his cockpit to see Cody and his crew are dressed in their superhero gear, ready to fight. The attack was Cody's Fantasia of Riches)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: You want to fight so bad, uncle? How about you fight us!?

Millie: That's right! We'll make you wish you were never born, asshole!

Noah: (Faces the heroes) _Bring it on, brats!_

Kevin: If we're fighting against and giant mechanical gorilla, I say we make this a fair fight (Takes another sample of animal DNA and injects it into himself, causing his arms to turn into those of a gorilla and his teeth turn into those of a gorilla) Get ready to bring on the pain, baby!

Clyde/Mosquito: We intend on bringing on nothing more, Kev.

Noah: _That goes double for me! And it's about time I see the very same power that caused the fall of the previous six advocates._

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Here! Why don't you have a little taste! Psycho Arrow! (Fires pink arrows of psychic energy at the Haram-bot, blowing it back a bit)

(The robotic Gorilla tries to get back up, but Apollo comes up fast)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psychotic Knuckle! (Hits the Haram-bot in the face)

Noah: (Thinking to himself while in his cockpit) _Those two had interesting power…could they be the children of the dark wizard Carlos Murciélago?_ (Pilots the Haram-bot to get up)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Still standing, huh?

Millie: He won't be for long! Polar Pistol! (She fires her ice beams at the robot, freezing it for only five seconds before it breaks itself free)

Noah: _An attack like that won't keep me down, girlie!_

Clyde/Mosquito: (Summons white mosquito robots) Okay, how about this then? Mosquito Mob: Lazer League!

(Lazers fire from the white mosquito robots, but it doesn't even effect the Haram-bot)

Clyde/Mosquito: Damn, no good! Perhaps if I change my method of attack! (Ceases his attack and summons black mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush!

(Black mosquito robots fly towards the Haram-bot, but Noah makes it open its mouth, causing the bomber mosquito robots to fly inside. They go off from within the robot gorilla, but it doesn't affect the Haram-bot in the slightest)

Noah: _Foolish child! My Haram-bot has a stomach of steel!_ (Makes Haram-bot raise a fist) _Something that your bones aren't made of!_

(The Haram-bot gets ready to punch Clyde, but Bridgette jumps in front and takes out her violin bow)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Bountiful Bow! (Successfully parries the Haram-bot's fist, and she takes out her trumpet) Trumpet of the Gods! (Fires a blast of energy at Haram-bot from her trumpet, and it hits it, creating a wall of smoke on impact)

Clyde/Mosquito: I think you got him, babe.

(Of course she didn't! A pair of piercing red eyes a shining through the smoke and the Haram-bot fires lazers from its eyes. Bridgette tries to parry the attack with her bow, but gets blown back)

Noah: _Next?_

Kevin: Enough of this bullshit! (Digs his gorilla hands into the ground beneath him and lifts up a huge chunk of it to throw) Gorilla's Volley!

(He throws the chunk of ground and it hits Haram-bot hard)

Noah: _GAAAHHH!_

Kevin: Someone attack him now!

Sophocles: Okay Cody, Bebe. Are you ready to attack with me?

(Cody and Bebe nod with confidence and join Sophocles in his assault)

Sophocles: Sorry Noah, but this if for your own good! Soul Chopper! (Fires a wave of energy from his scythe)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Blade Storm! (Throws swords from her bag)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Fantasia of Riches: Ultimax! (Fires a blast of energy from the ruby on his staff. The three attacks land successful hits on Noah's robot) Well that did it!

Noah: _(Laughs evilly) All it did was just show me how pathetically weak you are!_

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: You've got to be kidding me!

Noah: _These are the self proclaimed warriors that bested the likes of Dimitri, Charon, and Bianca among the rest of my advocate brethren? Pitiful, absolutely goddamn pitiful. I almost feel sorry for you bunch. Oh well, as long as you all have no more tricks up your sleeves…time to die!_

(As the Haram-bot raises a fist, our heroes and Noah hear a car horn beeping)

Noah: _Ugh! Now what?_

(Cartman's Ford Transit comes barreling out of some nearby woods and onto James Oppenheimer's back yard. It's out of control and heading straight for the Haram-bot)

Sophocles: What's this?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Looks through the windshield and into the drivers' seat and sees Cartman) Is that Cartman driving that van?

Noah: _Hmph! Insignificant vehicle!_

(He makes the Haram-bot swat the van away like an annoying mosquito at a barbecue and it hits a tree, utterly wrecking it. Cartman, Sam, and their friends come crawling out of the wreckage sans for Kelly)

Sam: (Gets out from the wreckage first and helps Wendy out next) Ugh, is everybody alright?

Wendy: Yeah, thanks babe.

Cartman: (Crawls out along with Heidi) Oh god that sucked! Heidi, why would you warn me about that deer instead of just letting me run it down like the wild animal it is! Besides, there's a billion more deer like that one. I'm sure killing one won't hurt the ecosystem that much.

Heidi: That's cruel, Cartman! Animals have feelings too.

Cartman: Oh right, I almost forgot to mention that we almost fucking died!

Heidi: For me, that would be just fine as long as that deer lived on.

Cartman: You're fucking insane, you know that?!

Butters: (Crawls out from the wreckage and sees the Haram-bot) Oh hamburgers! Look at that thing! (Points at the Haram-bot and everyone looks on in shock and awe)

Kenny: What the fuck is that!

Wendy: I don't know, but something's telling me we're going to find out very soon.

Sam: And whatever it is, it looks evil! Which means it's time to get our saint on! You guys ready to rock!

All but Sam: Yeah!

(The nine friends put their superhero clothes on and join Cody's party)

Sam/Sir Justice: 'Sup guys!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sam, Wendy, are we glad to see you guys.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Yeah! (Turns to the Haram-bot) So what the hell is this?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: It's my uncle! He's in this mech called the Haram-bot, and he intends on killing every member of my family with it. My Uncle Noah is the seventh advocate.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Oh my god!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I know, it's terrible.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Of course it is…I mean, Haram-bot! This writer is referencing a dead meme of all things, fucking really?

Millie: That's what I was thinking, thank you!

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: This isn't about goddamn memes! This is about making sure my uncle is brought to justice!

Stan/Tool Shed: Cody's right, everyone. We've got to focus. If Cody's Uncle Noah is the seventh advocate, we've got to do everything in our power to take him down.

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Well _we_ already tried before you all crash landed here. We can't seem to take this thing down.

Sam/Sir Justice: Well, the nine of us just arrived here fresh out the box. How about we take a crack at that thing!

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: If you think you can do it, then by all means.

James: I think they should. Because I have one more trick up my sleeve. If you nine can distract him long enough, I can pull of my Love Sync attack.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: How, Papa James? Mama Gladys is dead.

James: Well you see Cody, ever since my Gladys passed on, I've always kept this on me at all times (Reaches into his shirt and takes out a star shaped locket necklace. Inside it are Gladys' ashes) Gladys' spirit lives on in these ashes. I can still pull of my Love Sync attack with these. (Turns to Sam's group) So if you nine think you can keep Noah busy for a few moments, then I can unleash hell upon him.

Kyle/Human Kite: We'll buy you all the time you need sir.

James: Excellent.

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on team! It's Bedtime for Robo-Bonzo! Let's do it!

 **(Cue Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!...Been a while since I used this song)**

Heidi/Fatal Feline: I'll keep him busy! Meow, meow! (Presses the plates on her paws) Cheetah Speed, baby!

(She starts running around the Haram-bot)

Noah: _I'll take all nine of your lives in just one shot! Goodbye!_ (Haram-bot slams its fist down but Heidi dodges quickly)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: You're too slow! (Dodges another fist) Yoo-hoo! (Dodges a lazer blast) Right here! (Dodges another fist) Gotta try harder than that, pal!

Noah: _Stay still damn you!_

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')**

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires his Gatling Gun at the Haram-Bot's face and it actually leaves dents when the attack ceases)

Noah: _Impossible, you actually made dents in my robot! That does it, you're mine cowboy!_

(Haram-bot quicky grabs Kurt and he struggles to break free)

Noah: _I will bite your head off, Sundance Kid!_

 **(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history)**

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out Bridgette's bow and arrow) Let him go, ass napkin! Bridgette's Arrow!

(Fires an explosive arrow at the Haram-bot's fist, and it releases Kurt. But the Haram-bot prepares to punch Sam)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cartman's Claws! (The claws on his gauntlets come out, light on fire, and it blocks the attack) Damn, these things are sturdy!

 **(You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm not so intrigued, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream. If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream (Instrumentals and remixed voices))**

(As Sam and Noah are in their power struggle, Wendy and Butters decide to attack the Harambot. They raise their fists ready to attack)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Jab!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Flaming Knuckle!

(The two of them jump up and hit the Haram-bot in the face, knocking it down, but it gets back up quickly)

Noah: _That does it! Time for more Monkey Missiles!_

(Haram-bot fires more missiles from the rocket launchers on its back, and the nine saints are dodging to the best of their abilities)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cartman! Kenny! Take those missile launchers out, pronto!

Cartman/Coon: You got it, dude!

Kenny/Mysterion: Consider it done!

(Cartman and Kenny climb a tree, jump off at its highest point and takes out their RPG and grenades respectively)

Cartman/Coon: Raccoon Rocket!

Kenny/Mysterion: Oddity Grenades!

(Cartman fires a missile in one of the Haram-bot's missile launchers, while Kenny throws a grenade in the other one, taking them both out)

Noah: (Growls in annoyance and gets the Haram-bot's lazer eyes ready) _Take this!_

 **(Not enough for me to satisfy, any mistakes? Let's clarify. Let's post it to classify,  
Find your bad and BOOM BAP BAP, Do it together with my entourage, Please stick your head in the back of the garage, I'm gonna have a sale and sell you cheap, Please get out, you're out of my league! (More remixed voices and instrumentals)**

(As the Haram-bot launches its lazer attack, Kyle steps in front the attack to counter it with his own lazer)

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare! (Fires heat rays from his goggles and they blast Noah's attack back and knock out the eye lazer permanently)

Noah: _Damn it! Lazers have gone offline!_

Sam/Sir Justice: What's the matter, Noah? You've had enough?

Noah: _You slime balls are giving me a run for my money, that much I won't deny. But it isn't over until the big mechanical gorilla sings!_

Stan/Tool Shed: Well I hope that robot has a nice little song prepared, because it's toast! (He jumps up and takes out his sledgehammer)

 **(You still don't understand the man that your stinging, I ain't playin'. No more trainin'. Losing; it ain't easy to get back, You know what I'm sayin'. Hit your face with a big back slap. Click the cap and go Blap Blap Blap. Everything you touch will go flat, You know? Somehow people figure I'm in it (more remixed voices and instrumentals))**

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer!

(Stan smashes the Haram-bot's monitor so now Noah can't see what's going on from inside his cockpit)

Noah: _ARGH! I can't see for shit now because of you snotty nosed bastards!_

(Without a sense of direction, Noah has the Haram-bot run around the backyard like a chicken with its head cut off)

Kenny/Mysterion: Whoa, the Haram-bot is going _ape_!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Of course he is. Without a monitor to see where he's going, we're basically driving Noah _bananas!_

Cartman/Coon: (Smacks the two in the back of the head, causing Kurt and Kenny to wince in pain) Consider yourselves _pun-ished!_

Sam/Sir Justice: Enough with the damn jokes, we have this guy on the ropes! Butters! Sweep Noah off his feet so that we can have Old Man Oppenheimer finish him off!

Butters/Professor Chaos: Yes sir! (Comes flying at the Haram-bot fast) Gravity Shock! (He presses his palm against the Haram-bot, causing it to lose gravity)

Noah: _What trick are you brats pulling this time!_

 **(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)**

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Go, Papa James, do it now!

James: Okay. (Holds up the star necklace) Let's do this for old time's sake, Gladys (Kisses the necklace and gets his gun ready) Love Sync!

(He starts to gain a strong aura and his gun temporarily gains a golden color as a huge ball of white light comes from the barrel. James raises his gun skyward and he's ready to attack)

James: Meteor Storm of Justice!

(James pulls the trigger, causing the ball of light to fly into the sky. It explodes in mid-air and splits up into multiple balls of light. They fall down to the Haram-bot fast, but before the hit Noah is revealed to have an ace up his sleeve as inside his cock pit he grabs a pair of gold colored gloves and hits an eject button. He flies out of the Haram-bot without our heroes noticing)

 **(Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)**

(James' Meteor Shower of Justice hits the Haram-bot and destroys it)

Kyle/Human Kite: YEAH!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Smirks and flips off the remains) Birds flipped for Haram-bot!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Yeah! Meow! (Flips off the remains too along with Kurt, Wendy, Stan, and Butters)

(Maria and Apollo are using their telekinetic abilities to find Noah's corpse, but they find nothing)

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Hmm…

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: That's odd.

Clyde/Mosquito: What's wrong?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: We defeated Noah and the Haram-bot, but I don't sense anything resembling a human body in that ruble.

(Everyone gasps)

Kevin: But if Noah isn't here…then where is he?

Kenny/Mysterion: Hey, look up there! (Points up at the sky to show Noah, who is parachuting down onto the roof of James' Mansion)

Cartman/Coon: God damn it! I thought for sure that was it!

Sam/Sir Justice: We're not out of the woods yet by the looks of things! I'm heading up on the roof after him!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wait for me, Sam!

Sophocles: I'm coming with you two. He is my brother after all.

James: I've still got a lot of fight left in me. I ain't ready to throw in the towel just yet.

Sam/Sir Justice: Anybody else feel strong?

(The following other people join the group of four: Butters, Cody, Bebe, Stan, Clyde, Bridgette, Kenny, Kurt, Apollo, and Kyle)

James: A good sum of you are wanting a piece of the pie I see.

Clyde/Mosquito: Huh? Pie, where?

(Bridgette giggles at Clyde's little joke, but Wendy, Stan, and Kyle just roll their eyes)

Sam/Sir Justice: So it's the fourteen of us then?

Kyle/Human Kite: I guess so.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: We're right behind you 100%, Sammy!

Sam/Sir Justice: Alright, then let's do this. (Turns to those who are staying behind, Kevin, Millie, Maria, Cartman, and Heidi) You guys do what you can down here.

Kevin: (Reverts back to human form) You got it, dude.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Good luck up there you guys. Especially you, Stan, don't do anything too crazy.

Stan/Tool Shed: (Blushes and chuckles) I won't Heidi. You worry too much.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Someone in our team has to.

James: Come along, everyone. Inside the mansion is a secret passage way to the roof. We must hurry!

(The fourteen fighters head for the roof of James' mansion. Speaking of which, we cut to that location where Noah has just landed. He detaches his parachute and looks around the mansion's rooftop)

Noah: I can't believe those parasites destroyed my beautiful Haram-bot. No matter. They always say "where there's life there's hope." I can still win so long as those Saints, my grandfather, and especially my brother doesn't show up to spoil my fun. (Looks at his golden glove) But even if they do show up, I still have you… My beautiful Höllenfeuer.

Sam/Sir Justice: My, what a pretty name?

(Noah gasps and turns around to find his 14 opponents having arrived to the rooftop)

Sam/Sir Justice: Shall that be the name on your tombstone!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Radiant Revolver!

(Kurt fires rounds from his pistols, but Noah expertly dodges them)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Slippery little fucker, aren't you?

Clyde/Mosquito: (Unleashes brown mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Savage Swarm!

(The mosquito robots swarm around Noah, but he punches all of them out without breaking a sweat. But while he was punching them out, Wendy appears to try and attack him)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Gloves ignite) Wildfire Smack Down!

(Wendy unleashes a barrage of punches on Noah, but he skillfully dodges all of them. It's at this point when Stan appears behind him with his hammer)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer!

(Stan swings the hammer downward, but Noah blocks the attack with one of his golden gloves and uses the hammer to flip Stan over him and land on top of Wendy)

Noah: (Stretches his neck muscles) Dodging all of these attacks is quite the workout, I'll be honest with you. But can't you all at least make an effort to attack me? (Just then, random shots from Mysterion's ray gun catches him off guard) What have we here?

Kenny/Mysterion: Conundrum Shooter! (Fires more shots but Noah flips out of the way only for Sam to show up)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his whip) Ursula's Whip!

(Sam wraps Noah up in his whip, tosses him around for a few seconds before tossing him up in the air)

Bridgette: (Takes out her trumpet and aims skyward) Trumpet of the Gods!

James: (Aims his gun skyward) Ragnarok Blaster!

(Bridgette and James shoot upward at Noah, who dodges in midair and lands back on the roof. He isn't paying attention to Butters however, who is charging at him)

Butters/Professor Chaos: Lightning Spear!

(Noah grabs the other end of the spear just as Butters thrusts it forward. By gripping it tightly, Noah shatters the spear and punches Butters in the face)

Kyle/Human Kite: (Flies above Noah) Hey, you can't do that?

Noah: Well I just did? What are you going to do about it, fly boy?

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon!

(Kyle fires a harpoon from the top of his kite and Noah dodges out of the way. When he does, he snaps his finger and a golden colored fireball the size of a basketball appears)

Noah: Golden Glory! (Fires the fireball and knocks Kyle out of the sky) I'm barely working up a sweat dealing with you lot.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Charges from his left) Psychotic Knuckle!

(Apollo punches Noah hard and he goes flying across the roof. Noah charges back at Apollo, his right golden glove glowing)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Psycho Arrow! Psycho Bomb!

(Apollo fires a mixture of both psychic powers arrows and psychic powered bombs, but Noah dodges them all and gets closer to Noah)

Noah: Brilliant Knuckle! (Gets ready to punch Apollo)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Mindful Barrier!

(Creates a barrier of psychic energy and tries to block the attack. Noah and Apollo enter a struggle, but eventually, Noah breaks through and pushes Apollo back some)

Noah: Such brilliant power you have, young man. Definitely more resilient than your cohorts. But even the most resilient of fighters tires out every now and again. So now it's time to end this! (Holds his hands up and his gloves start to glow. They're charging up some kind of energy) Shining Hellfire!

(Noah fires a powerful golden colored beam across the roof to where Apollo lay. Thankfully, Sophocles grabs Apollo, and jumps in the air before the beam has a chance to reach him)

Noah: (Growls in annoyance)

Kenny/Mysterion: Yeah, go Sophocles!

Sophocles: (Holding his scythe with his right hand and holding Apollo with his left) Soul Chopper! (Fires a wave of energy at Noah who dodges out of the way. Sophocles and Apollo land back with the rest of their crew)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I don't get it, Uncle Noah? You have enough power and agility to take us head on without the use of a robot?

Noah: What's your point, dear nephew of mine?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Why did you build one if you knew you could handle us alone?

Noah: Why did I build one? Because I could! I wanted to build a mech like that just to show you all that I could be just as competent as a scientist as my brother. Shame my so-called family doesn't recognize me as a great scientist.

James: Noah, you know we love you. All of the Oppenheimer family loves you! Why can't you see it.

Noah: You can say that you love me all you want, but it's not good enough.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Well what the hell does it take for you then!?

Noah: I want to be acknowledged as the superior scientist of the family. I'm sick of playing second fiddle to Sophocles. What better way to make sure I get undying love and attention, than by destroying my baby brother. And if the rest of the Oppenheimer family doesn't like it…(He opens up his right hand and a gold colored scythe materializes) They can just join him in hell where he belongs.

(The heroes gasp)

Butters/Professor Chaos: A scythe!

Noah: You like it? I made it in response to my little brother's own scythe. I just used whatever materials Satan gave me so that it could fit in these gloves.

James: Noah! If you don't stop this nonsense right now…

Noah: Oh please! What are you going to do? Beat me down? You all already know I'm very nimble for my age, and all my attacks make yours look childish in comparison.

Kyle/Human Kite: Damn it! I don't think talking is going to work this time.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Another advocate that prefers action over words. It's kind of sad when you think about it.

Noah: Action and violence is all part of being an advocate. (Holds up his scythe) So, who wants to be my Höllenfeuer's first victim?

(Cody is about to step up to fight Noah, but Bebe stops him)

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Wait a minute, Cody. Remember what James said about Love Sync? How he and his wife's heartbeats matched up, and they were able to unleash a powerful attack.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Yes, why?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: This is kind of a shot in the dark, but maybe we can do something that…

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: And put Noah out to pasture! I say, it's a long shot…but I'm willing to try anything to make sure Noah doesn't do any further harm. The only question remaining is where do we even start?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Noah did say that him and his wife started to glow an aura before they unleashed it. We just need to figure out how to get an aura of our own.

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Maybe if we make physical contact.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Good idea. Let's try it.

(Cody and Bebe take each other's hands, close their eyes and rest their foreheads against each other, trying to concentrate. This confuses the rest of our heroes and Noah)

Noah: What the hell are they doing?

(James begins to understand what Cody and Bebe try to do)

James: Love Sync!

Stan/Tool Shed: (Confused) Excuse me?

James: Love Sync. When two people whose heartbeats match up perfectly, regardless of what relationship they share, they can channel that positive energy to unleash a devastating attack. Me and my wife used to do this type of attack all the time. Maybe, if those two get the energy they need, it'll be enough to finish Noah off once and for all.

Noah: Scream it out louder why don't you, you senile old man?

James: (Gasps and looks at his comrades) I just blurted that out loud didn't I?

(Everbody except for Cody and Bebe nod)

Noah: It's clear what I have to do then. Slay my nephew and his plucky girlfriend. It's a no brainer, no?

Sophocles: You have to get through me first. Nobody, and I mean nobody is going to hurt my favorite nephew while I'm around.

James: And that goes double for me, Noah!

Sam/Sir Justice: Let me join the fray too, gentlemen. I still have quite a few toys to play with.

Clyde/Mosquito: What should the rest of us do?

Sam/Sir Justice: Uh…just give encouragement to Bebe and Cody. They need it.

Butters/Professor: Gotcha! (Turns to Bebe and Cody) Okay you two. Envision a peaceful landscape with flower, clean drinking water. You two are riding on horseback wearing white clothes. The sun is setting over the horizon and the crickets begin to hoot. Are you two at peace yet.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: We'll be more at peace if you just shut up for a while.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Sighs and shakes his head) Okay, Noah, time to put up or shut up!

Noah: I think you'll find that I can put up just fine. Have at you!

 **(Cue The Only Thing I Know For Real from Metal Gear Rising)**

 **(Opening Instrumental)**

(Noah jumps up and his scythe catches fire)

Noah: Blazing Chopper!

(Launches a fiery version of Sophocles' Soul Chopper from his scythe, and Sam, James, and Sophocles jump out of the way)

Sophocles: You call that a scythe? This is a scythe! (He jumps up) Scythe Full Swing!

(He swings downward and Noah tries to block, but Sophocles is so strong that the attack sends Noah falling back to the roof. Noah gets back up to find Sam getting his chakrams ready)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Spinning his chakrams) Stan's Inferno! (As he spins, effigies of two fire dragons appear and charge at Noah, who jumps out of the way again)

Noah: Shining Hellfire! (Fires a blast from his left hand )

Sam/Sir Justice: (Activates his scarf by touching the brooch on it) Testaburger Scarf! (The scarf comes to life and it springs Sam upward, causing him to dodge the attack. Noah growls in annoyance when he sees his grandfather rush up to him)

James: (With dagger in hand) Wild Thrusting!

 **(Memories broken. The truth goes unspoken. I've even forgotten my name. I don't know the season or what is the reason I'm standing here holding my blade. A desolate place without any trace. It's only the cold wind I feel)**

(James tries to stab at Noah with his dagger, but Noah blocks each stab with his scythe. Noah eventually sweeps James' leg, causing him to fall on the ground face first)

Noah: (Raises his scythe, aiming for Noah's neck) Off with your head, gramps!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out the large fidget spinner weapon) Kyle's Gale!

(Sam starts spinning it, unleashing a strong jet of wind that almost blows Noah off the roof, but he digs his scythe into the roof before he can fall off. He jumps back up on his feet to find Sam, James, and Sophocles charging at Noah with their lightsaber, scythe, and dagger respectively)

Noah: (Readies his scythe) Okay, let's make this interesting.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Gets his lightsaber ready) Let's do it!

 **(It's me that I spite as I stand up and fight. The only thing I know for real. There will be** _ **blood…shed!**_ **Man in the mirror nods his head. The only one left. Will ride upon the dragon's back because the mountains don't give back what they take. Oh no there will be** _ **blood-shed**_ **! It's the only thing I've ever known!)**

Noah: Höllenfeuer! (The scythe blade has a light blue flame envelope it) Execution Mode engaged! (Cue Slasher Smile) TIME TO DIE!

(He charges at the thee heroes and they engage in a struggle, trying to stab and slash at one another)

Noah: You're all nothing but wastes of space! Why can't you let us advocates win!

James: A wise man once said the only way for evil like you to succeed is for good men like us to do nothing!

Sam/Sir Justice: That's right! You're gonna crash and burn like the six before you!

Noah: Time to put your money where your mouth is then, kid!

(The four fighters step back to trade ranged attacks)

Noah: Shining Hellfire! (Fires his beam at his three opponents)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Opens up his palms to reveal the gems on his gauntlets) Murciélago Magic! (Fires red colored, bat shaped energy blasts from his palms)

Sophocles: Soul Chopper! (Launches a wave of energy from his scythe)

James: Ragnarok Blaster! (Fires a blast of energy from his gun)

 **(Epic Instrumentals)**

(The four attacks collide and create a wall of smoke)

Noah: Time to jump through that smoke and take those fools by surprise! (Gets his scythe into Execution Mode again as he jumps through the smoke wall. But when he arrives on the other side…his three opponents are gone) Now where have you all gone?

(Suddenly, Sam appears on Noah's left side, and James appears on his right)

James: Ragnarok Blaster! (Fires his gun)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his big cannon) Kurt's Beam Cannon! (Fires a beam of yellow light from the cannon)

Noah: Oh no you don't!

(He dodges the attacks as fast as Sam and James can shoot. They eventually lure Noah to a big brick smokestack chimney)

Noah: I'm still too fast for you spineless oafs. You haven't learned a thing have you?

James: Well, my grandson, I believe you'll find that we've learned a lot more?

Noah: Eh?

Sam/Sir Justice: Sophocles! Now!

(As if on cue, Sophocles jumps out of the chimney and gets ready to come down on Noah)

Sophocles: Paralysis Pummel!

(He hits Noah's pressure points and paralyzes him)

Sam/Sir Justice: Gotta love the element of surprise, no?

James: A classic for a reason.

(It's at this moment when a bright aura envelops Cody and Bebe)

Kyle/Human Kite: Well this is new.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Turns to Sam) Sam! Cody and Bebe have an aura surrounding them! I think it's show time!

Sam/Sir Justice: Read you loud and clear, love! (He charges at the paralyzed Noah) Fist of Millie! (He uppercuts Noah and sends him flying skyward. Meanwhile, Cody and Bebe get ready to finish the fight)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Hey love, you ready to get our seventh advocate?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I'm ready of you are.

(Cody and Bebe take a few steps back from one another and a giant sword with two handles floats down to them. This sword has golden handles and a gold and jeweled hilt. The blade itself is made of pure platinum and has hearts engraved on it. The couple grabs a hold of one of the handles and they point it at the falling Noah)

 **(Losing my identity. Wondering have I gone insane? To find the truth in front of me I must climb this mountain range. Looking downward from this deadly height And never realizing why I** _ **fight!**_ **(Closing Instrumentals))**

Cody/Mr. Gentleman & Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Ready!

(The sword itself begins to emit an azure blue aura)

Sophocles: Now! Attack!

Cody/ Mr. Gentleman & Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Heavenly Sword Beam!

(A blast of azure blue light is fired from the sword and it hits Noah)

Noah: GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

 **(End of the song)**

(Noah falls on the ground covered in bruises and slight burns as Cody and Bebe's sword disappears and their aura dies down)

Butters/Professor Chaos: That…was…WICKED AWESOME! (He runs up and hugs both Bebe and Cody) You two were totally awesome! The rest of our gang will never ever ever believe this!

James: (Smiles) That's the power of Love Sync, kids. Maybe someday, you all can use it.

Stan/Tool Shed: With attacks like that, we'd all be overpowered. I prefer duking it out the old fashioned way.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah. Heroes always play fair. We should only attempt Love Sync during dire, life or death type situations.

James: Yeah, I get it.

Cartman/Coon: (From ground level) Hey you guys!

(Our heroes look over the edge of the roof to see Cartman with some police men)

Cartman/Coon: We managed to call the police while you were having your brawl. Is it safe for them to come up and take the son of a bitch now?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, I'd say we're all good.

Sophocles: (Walks up to the paralyzed Sophocles) Don't worry, big brother. Since I'm a compassionate man, I'll un-paralyze you so you can get to the police cars.

Noah: I don't need your sympathy.

Sophocles: Hey I can either do this, or leave you paralyzed so the prison rape can be easily inflicted unto you. Your call.

Noah: (Smiles nervously) Massage away brother. (Under his breath) You pain in the ass. (Everybody sans for Noah laughs)

(Back on ground level, our heroes and the Oppenheimer family watch as Noah is carted away into a police car. As Noah enters the backseat of said car, Apollo walks up and tries to talk to him)

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: You go and tell Satan that him and his advocates will never beat us. We'll always have the upper hand against you bastards.

Noah: (Looking out the police car's window) Hmm…you're Apollo, aren't you? Apollo Murciélago?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yeah? What's it to you?

Noah: I'm honestly surprised that the son of one of the most evil wizards has decided to join the fight for justice and quit the pursuit of chaos. Isn't that why your father created you in the first place?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yeah…but…I'm a changed man! I don't know what it is, but being around these guys makes me feel good. I've never been this happy in all of the 50 lives I've lived.

Noah: You want the real key to happiness? Join our cause in reviving Damien. Seriously, we could use somebody like you on our side. If you do, I'm sure you'll find that the new world we'll create will bring you greater happiness than any amount of friendship can bring you.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Looks confused)

Noah: With the world in a state of utter disrepair, wouldn't you like to play a major role in creating a better, more perfect world? Since you're a member of the Murciélago family, I think I can talk to Satan and maybe he can offer you at least of the new world to do whatever you want with. Recreate that half in your own image if you please. Not to mention, you turning to the dark side would really get under my brother, my nephew, and all of their friends' skin. It'll be a great way of reclaiming your former glory.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (Thinks about it)

Noah: I'm sure a small part of you was happier causing mischief and chaos on a daily basis.

(Apollo looks depressed now, having all of these thoughts race through his mind)

Noah: I'll give you some time to think about it. In the meantime, farewell. I hope we can work together real soon.

(And with that, the police car drives off, leaving a confused and depressed Noah behind)

James: Well, there's still about two more hours of daylight left, and the Saints and I just put away another advocate. I say we keep the festivities going!

(Everybody cheers as they resume their party. Cody's parents, Linda and Harold come up to the South Park Saints)

Linda: Hey, would don't you all stay and take part in the festivities too?

Harold: You can call your parents and tell them you're staying over for the night too if you wish.

Kenny/Mysterion: Thank you sir.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Yeah, especially since our mode of transportation getting her is…(Looks at the damaged van they arrived in) No longer in operation.

Harold: Wonderful! Now that that's settled, who's up for a game of croquet?

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: I'll throw my hat in that ring!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Me too! (As she goes to play croquet, she sees Apollo just standing motionless) Apollo, brother, are you okay?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Well, would you like to play croquet with us?

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Sure. That should get my mind off things…hopefully. (He follows his sister to the croquet field)

(Later that night, most of the Oppenheimer family went home or went to stay at a nearby hotel for the evening, but a few of the family members, and our heroes are all settled in for the night. Wendy, Bebe, and Bridgette are settled in a room, having some girl time to talk about the events of the day)

 **(Since Wendy's only clothes are her Fuchsia Tigress outfit and her street clothes, so she's borrowing some pajamas too. These pajamas are a pair of pink pajamas with a plaid pattern: Short sleeved shirt and pants to be specific)**

 **(Bridgette's pajamas are a pair of white pajamas with a pink colored star pattern on them. The pajamas consist of pants and a long sleeve button up pajama shirt)**

 **(Bebe's pajamas are her pink nightgown with white frilly cuffs)**

Bebe: (Shocked) No way!

Wendy: I swear. Cartman was driving on the other side of the road, careening through the woods. It was insane.

Bebe: And here I thought Cartman evened out after all these years. (Sigh) I guess he hasn't changed entirely.

Bridgette: We're just glad that you, Sam, Kurt, and the rest of you are all fine.

Wendy: Thanks, Bridgette. Trust me, that is the last time I have Cartman drive me or any of us anywhere. Anyway, I think that's enough about me. Let's talk about you guys. Did you all have fun today.

Bridgette: Oh definitely. Just about all of Cody's relatives are super nice. Especially James. Talk about a Cool Old Guy. You know he was once a member in a band of mercenaries whose job was to exterminate any supernatural or unnatural force like monsters, aliens, you know the usual stuff.

Wendy: Well that would explain the weird display case in the living room. But, Bebe, what was it like when you used that powerful attack with Cody. You know, that Love Sync thing. How did it feel?

Bebe: Gosh…I don't know. I guess if I could find a word for it…exhilarating. I actually felt one with Cody for the first time in my life, just when I thought we couldn't get any closer. And the feeling afterwards…it's like that feeling you get when you first step off of that Kingda Ka roller coaster in New Jersey. I've never known a feeling like this existed. James said that others can use it. Even you guys. It doesn't have to be restricted to lovers, but friends to. For example, you and I can probably form a powerful attack of our own, Wendy. I just wonder what the outcome would be.

Wendy: When the time comes, I'm sure we'll find out.

(The two girls look at Bridgette to see that she's lost in thought)

Bebe: Bridgette, what's wrong?

Bridgette: Huh? Oh, I was just thinking about Noah. In a strange sense, I can't help but feel sorry for him. All he wanted was for his family to give him the same amount of love that they gave Sophocles. But every time he just kept coming up short. It's actually really tragic when you think about it. I also can't help but wonder how Sophocles is holding up after fighting his own brother. But I can imagine he feels the same feeling of emptiness that I had when I fought Charon.

Wendy: Yeah…but it had to be done.

Bebe: Exactly. If we hadn't done something about him, he would've killed us, the Oppenheimer family, and then who knows what would've happened next. But as long as we're on the subject of the advocates, we only have one left if I remember correctly.

Wendy: Yup. Only one advocate is left. We stop him/her, we'll be done with these idiots until Satan conjures up a new batch for us to beat up.

Bebe: (Groans) That's right, Satan selects 8 new advocates after a certain amount of time.

Wendy: Nobody said that the life of a hero would be an easy one.

Bebe: Certainly less glamorous than what we see in movies and T.V.

Bridgette: Let's not worry about the advocates for right now, Bebe. Right now, the night is still young, and I'm in the mood to find my Clydey, and have a good old fashioned cuddle session.

Wendy: That does sound nice. (Looks at the clock and sees its only 11:00 at night) Sam should still be up at this hour. I wonder if he's up for a good cuddling.

Bebe: After a day like today, I think Cody and I could benefit from some snuggles.

Bridgette: I think you ladies know what you have to do. Find your better halves, hold them and never let go.

Wendy: That's the plan.

Bridgette: Well, what are we standing around here for? Let's go cuddle with our guys.

(The three girls leave their room to find their boyfriends and we cut to the backyard of the mansion where, in case you've forgetten, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin finally busts out of the wreckage of Cartman's van)

Kelly: (Rubbing her head) Oh, my head. I don't think I've ever been in this much pain before. (Looks around) Oh it's nighttime. I might as well start hitchhiking back to South Park. With any luck I'll be home in time for breakfast. (Starts hobbling off) Oh, I think I hear rushing water…definitely not a good sign.

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Shot #1: Our heroes are leaving James' mansion and he sees them off. Cody, Sophocles, Linda, and Harold give him a hug before they leave. The limousine drives off and James waves goodbye)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Shot #2: In Apollo and Maria's apartment, Maria peeks into Apollo's room. He is thinking about what Noah said. Maria tries to open the door more to talk with her brother, but Apollo uses Psycho Grip to shut and lock the door)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite. Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu. Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo. Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda. Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Shot #3: Noah arrives to the prison and enters the mess hale where he finds the other villains confronted so far in the series. The other 10 villains offer Noah a seat. He sees that PB-01 Max is immobilized and Noah offers to fix him up, but a prison guard stops him before he could seal the deal)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **.** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **.** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **.** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Shot #4: The likes of Sam, Wendy, and Doug, dressed as Sir Justice, Fuchsia Tigress, and Cerulean Viper respectively are shown evacuating people from a burning apartment building. Francis Fitzgerald is recording the event from behind the bushes with his camera. The likes of Jimmy Valmer, Nichole Daniels, and Bridon Gueermo see the event occurring from across the street. Later, the likes of Esther Green, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter, and Sally Turner watch the event unfold on the news later that night. The likes of Lola Clark, Jason White, Terrance Mephesto, and Bradley Biggle are listening to a radio broadcast of the event. All 11 of these teens are awe inspired by it all)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **.** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **.** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, groups of pirate ships are gathered. The captain, a shadowy figure looks out in the horizon, trying to find a place to land)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **.** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **.** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **.** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **.** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(All of the South Park Saints are packing suitcases with clothes, toiletries, video and board games. They're all packing for their Senior Trip on Memorial Weekend. Friday May 23rd-Monday May 26th, they'll all be heading to Venice Beach in California)

 **(Samayoinagara** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Bebe is in her local pharmacy, thinking about what Cody's cousin Brody said about his relationship with his girlfriend. She's looking at a shelf full of birth control pills. She thinks she's ready for her "first time". Across town, Cody is in his mansion looking at a box of condoms thinking the same thing)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **.** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **.** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **.** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Sam is at the mall trying on swimsuits for the trip to Venice Beach. He tries on many swim trunks, but when he tries on a black speedo and does a few poses, Kelly Rutherfor-Menskin walks by, looks at him and immediately gets a nosebleed. She passes out as a result)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **.** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **.** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **.** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **.** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **.** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Every single Senior student at South Park High is counting down the days until their Senior Trip. You can cut the excitement with a knife. In the teacher's lounge, even the chaperones are excited, those being Doug Testaburger, Jeffrey Stevens, Alex Slave, Mr. Brewster, and two other female teachers)


	22. Vacation of Devastation (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 21: Vacation of Devastation (Part 1)

(This chapter starts off in the dead of night, the night of May 22nd to be specific, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean…aboard a huge black colored pirate ship. This pirate ship is surrounded by smaller black colored ships. Hordes of crew mates are waiting outside the captain's quarters for their captain to come out. Inside said captain's quarters, it's dark and a tall and muscular shadowy figure is standing in front of a huge mirror. Inside the mirror is an astral projection of Satan)

Satan: Those Saints are really starting to get on my last nerve. They've bested nearly all of my advocates. Even the faithful Charon, the intelligent Noah, and charismatic Dimitri have fallen to the power that these tiny tyrants possess. They're even starting to learn about the power of this Love Sync. That brings us to today, seven advocates down, and now you're all I have left. As my final and strongest advocate, it falls on you to not only harvest the blood needed to free my son from his prison, but also to put those Saints in their place once and for all. I trust that you and your crew can handle this mission, right Captain Alejandro Cervantes?

(The captain comes out of the shadows to rear his ugly face)

 **(Captain Alejandro Cervantes has long black hair with a black beard. He's wearing an eye patch over his left eye, but his right eye is hazel colored. He also has a black pirate hat with a white father in it as well as a picture of a skull and crossbones. He's wearing a red captain's coat with gold buttons and a white undershirt, and brown pants. He has a golden earring on his left ear. His left hand is wearing a black glove while a scimitar is in the place where his right hand should be. He also has a black boot on his right foot but a small cannon is in the place where his left foot should be)**

Cervantes: Aye, never you fear me master. Me loyal crew and I shall give the young master the sustenance he needs while simultaneously swabbing the deck with those scurvy saints! (Gets down on one knee and places his hat over his heart) You have me word as a pirate, and a high ranking soldier in your dark enterprise, me liege.

Satan: Excellent. And I really love the enthusiasm. Do _not_ let me down, captain. (His astral projection disappears from the mirror as Cervantes walks to a shelf holding loads of alcoholic beverages)

Cervantes: (Grabs a bottle and takes a sip from it) Aye, Dolphin Sea Ale, ye be good to me.

(Cervantes puts the bottle back as he looks at his reflection in his scimitar hand)

Cervantes: From here on out, I avenge me fallen advocate brother and sisters. I will succeed in me conquest!

(Cervantes busts out of his captain's quarters to greet his crew mates. The crew mates give their captain their undivided attention)

Cervantes: Me loyal crew! As much as it pains me to admit, we're completely on our own. Those South Park Saints made minced meat out of the other seven advocates. It now falls on us to harvest the mortal blood, and put that gaggle of scurvy dogs in their place! We're going to make them all wish they were never conceived!

(The crew mates cheer as Cervantes looks up at the crow's nest)

Cervantes: Aye! Up in the Crow's Nest! Where be the closest place we can land?

(The crew mate in the Crow's Nest looks through his telescope and in the distance he sees Venice Beach)

Crew Mate #1: I see a beach just east of here. It looks far away though, sir!

Cervantes: Aye! If we set sail now, we be casting anchor by tomorrow afternoon! What do you say, me mateys!?

(The crew mates cheer with much enthusiasm)

Cervantes: Yar, har, har! Alright! Let's set sail! Full speed eastward!

(Cervantes' pirate ship leads the way as the plethora of smaller ships follow it towards Venice Beach)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(It's bright and early on Friday May 23rd back in South Park. All of the senior class is gathered in the school courtyard, loading their luggage on the coach bus that'll take them to Venice Beach. Once the students load their luggage, they hop on the bus to look for a seat. We start this off with Kyle, Cartman, and Stan loading their belongings onto the bus)

Kyle: I'm bringing my old PS4 along so we can play in the hotel room later tonight.

Stan: Sweet dude.

Cartman: What games do you have, dude?

Kyle: I brought along Grand Theft Auto V, Overwatch, Uncharted 4, Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, Horizon Zero Dawn, and Nier Automata.

Stan: Awesome!

Cartman: Overwatch you say? I call Hanzo.

Kyle: No way dude, I want Hanzo. You always get Hanzo, let somebody else have a turn.

Cartman: Hanzo is my main in Overwatch, I can't let you play as him.

Kyle: Yes you can, asswipe, it's called sharing. Look it up!

Cartman: Sharing? What is this kindergarten?

(As Kyle and Cartman argued some more, Stan notices Bridon Gueermo with Jason White, Esther Green, and Bradley Biggle. He sees Bridon loading his luggage on the bus while the other three load some musical instruments onboard)

 **(Jason, has a man-bun in his hair, black glasses covering his eyes, purple fingerless gloves, a purple button up dress shirt, blue pants, and black shoes)**

 **(Esther has long black hair, and she is wearing a plain blue t-shirt with a ruffled pink skirt, black thigh high socks, and pink shoes)**

 **(Bradley let his hair grow, and he is wearing a dark blue sweater with black jeans and black shoes)**

 **(17 year old Bridon Gueermo still has his brown hair shaggy and unkempt, and he's wearing a long sleeve blue shirt underneath a black t-shirt with a picture of the Pink Floyd prism logo, as well as olive shorts and black sneakers)**

Stan: Hey wait a minute, Bridon what are you doing here?

Bridon: (Turns his attention to Stan) Oh, hey Stan!

Stan: Bridon, aren't you in the 11th grade? Why are you here?

Bridon: Relax, Stan. My mom gave me permission to go on this trip so long as I make up any lost work. It wasn't easy, but she managed to pull some strings and next thing you know I'm coming with you guys to Venice Beach!

Kyle: Kick ass, dude.

Cartman: Why do you want to come with us anyway?

Bridon: I'm sure you know Esther, Jason, and Bradley behind me. And I'm sure you also know that the four of us are the four members of the garage band "Wolf Jaws". With me on electric guitar, Esther on bass guitar, Bradley on drums, and Jason is our lead vocalist.

Stan: Yeah, I hear you guys practice in the band room every day. You guys really rocked last autumn's talent show.

Bradley: Thanks, we thought so too. We came in second place to that sophomore chick who sang "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.

Esther: Overrated song from an even more overrated movie.

Jason: The four of us decided to go on this Venice Beach trip to try and promote our band. Lots of music producers to be found in Los Angeles, which is about a half hour drive from the beach. With any luck, this senior trip could be our ticket to the sweet life.

Esther: Not to mention if we make like street performers and perform on the boardwalk we could earn ourselves some serious coin.

Stan: Well good luck to you all.

Bridon: Thanks Stan. (Boards the bus with his three other band mates) See you on the bus.

Kyle: So Bridon is joining us on our trip. I wonder what other surprises await us.

Kenny: (Runs up to his four friends with a note) I have a secret admirer guys!

Cartman: (Looks at Kyle) Well there you go dude, another surprise.

Stan: (Pats Kenny on the back) Good for you man! Do you know who it is?

Kenny: No. That's why it's called a secret admirer. I don't know who the person is. You think it's somebody from our team?

Kyle: If it is, then the only viable options are Maria, Millie, and Heidi since they're the only single female members of the group.

Stan: (Crosses his fingers) Please don't let the note be Heidi's! Please don't let it be Heidi's!

Cartman: You're only hoping it's not from her because you have the hots for her.

Kyle: C'mon Stan, just tell her already.

Stan: Don't rush me. I'm still a little nervous okay.

Cartman: Fine, whatever you say…pussy.

Stan: SHUT UP!

(We then cut to Sam, Wendy, Clyde, Bridgette, Kevin, Craig, and Tweek who have just finished loading their luggage on the bus and are waiting for Red, Ursula, Annie, and Kurt to show up)

Bridgette: Bebe told me that Cody is coming with Sophocles, Leon, Mephesto, and Mephesto's son Terrance. They should be taking the Oppenheimer private jet there. They're also bringing our gear in case trouble gets started in Venice Beach.

Kevin: Not a bad move. You never know when and where that last advocate is going to pop up.

Tweek: I just wonder why Terrance is going with Cody on the jet instead of with us on the bus.

Wendy: That snob thinks he doesn't deserve to travel with us in what he calls, "a peasant mobile." And all because he has a high I.Q.

Sam: He's never going to make friends if he acts all high and mighty like that, you know.

Clyde: Hey, leave Terrance alone you guys. He's really cool when you get to know him. Give him a chance, and you'll see that he's an awesome guy to be around.

Wendy: We'll believe it when we see it.

(Sam looks to see Kurt's Camaro arrive)

Sam: Hey, they finally made it!

(Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula step out of the car with their luggage, ready to load it on the bus)

Red: Sorry we're late everybody, we just stopped off at Walmart to get ready for this trip. Had to get all of the essentials.

Craig: We understand.

Kurt: (Gives a list to Annie) Annie, darling, can you read off this check list while Ursula, Red and I unload the car.

Annie: Of course, love. (Clears her throat and starts to read the list) Fishing poles and bait.

Ursula: (Holding up a some fishing poles and bait) Check!

Annie: Barbecue food, spatula, tongs, cooler, assorted beverages, portable grill, and charcoal for said grill.

Kurt: (Loading these items onto the bus) Check!

Annie: Beach toys!

Red: (Loading inflatable rafts, snorkels, flippers, and volleyball/badminton set onto the bus) Check

Annie: A wide variety of snacks for the trip.

Kurt, Red, and Ursula: (Holding up a variety of chips and candies) Check!

Annie: And finally (Reads the last item with a hint of confusion). A watermelon and some grease.

Ursula: Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! (Holds up a bucket of grease as Kurt holds up a watermelon, both with looks of excitement on their face) Check-a-roni!

(Sam and Bridgette get looks of excitement on their face as well)

Sam: Watermelon and grease.

Bridgette: Guys, are we seriously going to try and the game back.

Ursula: Oh yeah, we're bringing it back alright.

Sam: Greased Watermelon.

Kurt: (Nodding) Greased Watermelon.

Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, & Ursula: Greased Watermelon!

(The four friends laugh with excitement)

Clyde: What the hell is Greased Watermelon?

Bridgette: Greased Watermelon is one of the greatest pool games we've ever played. Many a hot summer day was spent playing it.

Kevin: How do you play? We still don't understand.

Kurt: Alright, what happens is. First, you take a watermelon. Then, you slather it with grease. Then, you throw the greased up watermelon into the pool. And finally, the games commence.

Sam: The rules are simple. Try and grab the watermelon and hold on to it for dear life. As you're holding it, the opposing players will try and make you let go of it by any means possible.

Ursula: A round lasts five minutes. The person to have held onto the greased watermelon the longest once the five minutes are up wins.

Kurt: (Facepalm) Oh crap, that's right. I forgot to buy stop watches to keep track of time. Oh well, I'm sure they have some down at the beach.

Red: How do you get the opponents to let go of the watermelon.

Bridgette: Oh there's a variety of ways. Can be something as innocent as tickling the opponent, or lie by saying "your mother's calling." Or it can be as crazy as inflicting as much pain and misery on the opponent as possible.

Tweek: Uh…

Ursula: Straight up, shit can get real rowdy real fast when playing Greased Watermelon. Do what you have to do to get that watermelon. Many a game had us leave with an assortment of scratches, bruises, hurt feelings from name calling, pulled hair, and even a broken arm in one of our cases.

Kurt: It was me. It was my arm in case you were wondering.

Ursula: We were crazy. But hey, that's Greased Watermelon for you. I remember we even tried writing a letter to the Olympics so they can make Greased Watermelon and Olympic sport.

Craig: (Laughing) You guys actually tried that.

Sam: We were dumb kids back then. Cut us some slack. Anyway, this is going to be the best Senior Trip ever!

(Just then, the chaperones, Principal Jeffrey Stevens, Mr. Doug Testaburger, Mr. Alex Slave, Mr. Jeremy Brewster, and two other female teachers leave the school, load their luggage on the bus and began to board)

Jeffrey: Okay, everbody on the bus! It's time to hit the beach! Please enter the bus in an orderly fashion so that we can…

(Before he can finish his sentence, the members of the senior class that weren't already on the bus quickly board it, trampling Jeffrey in the process)

Jeffrey: Gah! Ouch! This is not orderly! (As the last of the senior class board the bus and find a seat, Bebe picks her father up from the ground and brushes him off) Thanks, Bebe, you're the best daughter a father could ask for.

Bebe: (Smiles and gives her father the peace sign as the two of them board the bus and it takes off for Venice Beach)

(Sometime after the bus passes through the Utah border, we take a peek at our heroes and their classmates. Some of them are catching up on lost sleep, some of them are occupying their time by reading, playing on their phones, or just talking to each other, and others are just looking out the window. We first look in on Francis Fitzgerald who is watching some footage of when the South Park Saints took on Paris Hilton, Dimitri Molarski, and took down the Gigas Fly Traps in Denver among other clips of them. The likes of Jimmy Valmer, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter, and Nichole Daniels decide to ask Francis what he's up to)

 **(Francis is wearing a brown military patterned military patrol cap on his head. He also has a brown Snacky Smores letterman jacket with the mascot sewed on the back. He's also wearing black jeans and brown shoes)**

 **(Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter has her long blonde hair tied in braided twintails. She's wearing a pink sweatshirt hoodie, blue jean shorts, and white shoes with socks reach below her knees)**

 **(Jimmy Valmer still has unkempt brown hair, and is still holding his trusty crutches. He's wearing a white sweater vest over a yellow dress shirt and he has black dress pants with brown shoes)**

 **(Nichole Daniels has her hair tied in a ponytail and is wearing a light blue leather jacket over a white shirt, red pants and a pair of black heels)**

Jimmy: Hey Francis, Wha-W-Wha-What do you have here?

Francis: (Gets nervous) Oh, uh nothing. It's a surprise!

Nichole: It looked like you were watching footage of Sam and his friends kicking ass and taking names.

Jimmy: Yeah. Are you some kind of raging South Park Saint super fan?

Francis: No! (The three teens look at him with stern looks) Okay maybe a little bit. I mean, why shouldn't I be? Sam and the rest of those guys have done so much for us and expect next to nothing in return. So as a reward for all of their good services, I've been following them around and recording them whenever I can to catch them in the middle of whatever deed they're performing.

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: How exactly is recording them in almost stalker fashion a reward to them?

Francis: Well, I was keeping this a secret, but I'm trying to put together a documentary film that I can show at the Sundance Film Festival next year. I figured this would be a good way to kickstart my film career.

Jimmy: A d-documentary film! That's badass, Francis.

Francis: I'm really glad you think so. Hey, listen. I was thinking about interviewing some of the Saints' closest friends and family as part of my video. Are you three interested? (His statement gets the three teens excited)

Nichole: You want us in your documentary. Hell yeah I want in!

Jimmy: M-Me too!

Francis: Great! (Turns to Kelly P.T) How about you, Kelly. I know Sam saved you from Justin all those years ago, It'd be great to hear your story.

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: (Face drops upon hearing Justin's name mentioned) Uh…sure. That sounds fine.

Francis: Kelly, what's wrong?

Nichole: Yeah, you were excited a minute ago. Now you're….well…not.

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: It's just that I really don't like it when someone mentions…that name.

Jimmy: What? S-S-Sam?

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: No, the _other_ one.

Jimmy: What other-(Gets nudged by Nichole and starts to get it) Oh…oh….oh! I'm sorry Kelly.

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: It's fine. (Quickly perks back up) But hey, I didn't mean to ruin everybody's good time. I'd love to be interviewed by you Francis. (Looks out the window) So, when are we getting to Venice Beach anyway? (Francis, Jimmy, and Nichole look a little worried)

(We cut to later in the trip, where in another part of the bus, Maria and Apollo are sitting together. Apollo is looking out the window, still thinking about what Noah said to him last episode)

Noah: _(His voice plays back in Apollo's head) You want the real key to happiness? Join our cause in reviving Damien. With the world in a state of utter disrepair, wouldn't you like to play a major role in creating a better, more perfect world? It'll be a great way of reclaiming your former glory._

Maria: Hey Apollo, how about we play a game. It's called "Guess the Car." You pretty much guess what color the next car that passes you has. It's simple, watch. I say the next car that passes us will be…blue. Okay Apollo guess.

Apollo: (Still looking out the window) Black.

Maria: Alright let's see. (Looks out the window with Apollo and sees the next car to pass is a black pick-up truck) Good guess, Apollo! That's one point for you! (Looks to see Apollo not excited) Okay, what's wrong?

Apollo: What do you mean?

Maria: You're acting all mopey. All month long since you joined you you've been nothing but happy. Now you're a Negative Nancy. Is everything okay?

(Suddenly, Mr. Brewster, the school psychiatrist comes out of the bus bathroom)

Mr. Brewster: Ah, hello Maria and Apollo. Are you all ready for some fun in the summer sun?

Maria: We sure are, Mr. Brewster.

Mr. Brewster: (Smiles) That's wonderful. (Looks at Apollo) Apollo, what's the matter? You look down. Last session we had, you said you were happy and you enjoyed having friends. Now you look worse than you did before.

Apollo: What's with everyone getting on my case?

Maria: No need to snap at us brother. We're just asking because we care about you.

Mr. Brewster: Yeah. I may be on vacation, but my ears aren't. I'm open for business as long as your heart is.

Apollo: Nothing is wrong. (Sigh) Look, when something is truly, deeply wrong, then I'll come to you two.

Mr. Brewster: (Unconvinced and worried) Well okay, if that's what you want. But like I said, if you need to talk to anybody, I'm right here. (He leaves and Maria looks back at Apollo)

Maria: Apollo? Did Noah say anything to you the other day? You really haven't been the same since then. (Apollo doesn't answer and Maria worries some more)

(It's at this point where we cut later in the trip again. The bus is driving through Las Vegas, and we cut to Kenny running throughout the bus, looking for the one who wrote the secret admirer letter)

Kenny: (Walks up to a girl with sunglasses) Hey, excuse me, did you happen to write anything today?

Sunglasses girl: I'm trying to sleep, go away, creep!

Kenny: (Leaves and walks up to a girl with short brown hair) Pardon me, have you written any kind of letter recently.

Short haired girl: (Holding up her fist) I'll write your obituary in your blood if you don't back away. I don't care if you're one of the South Park Saints! (Kenny runs away from her and winds up at an area where Butters, Annie, Kurt, Red, Stan, and Ursula are hanging out)

Kenny: Yikes, that girl has a bit of a temper, eh?

Stan: You're the one who's coming on too strong, dude. Try not to ask so many questions.

Kenny: How else am I supposed to find the one who wrote this letter?

Ursula: Sounds to me like I need to compare handwriting. Give the letter to me. I'll try and compare the handwriting of all the girls in our grade level whenever I get the chance to.

Kenny: Thanks Ursula. You're a good egg.

Ursula: (Places the note in her pocket) Hey, I'm a good friend to have.

Kurt: Speaking of potential love. (Turns to Stan) Do you still have intentions on asking Heidi out?

Stan: (Gets nervous) I…I don't know. I mean, she's a cute girl. But then I thought, what if she's not into me that way.

Kurt: You don't know until you ask. Besides, this beach trip is as good a time as any.

Annie: Also, didn't you say you had a present for her that you made at Sophocles' Lab?

Stan: Yeah. It's with my luggage right now. I figured it could help Heidi out in battle.

Ursula: Perfect. Ask her out when you give her the gift. Get her all warmed up so that it'll be easier for her to say yes to you.

Stan: (Nods his head)

Butters: (Looks out the window with much excitement) Oh boy, oh boy! I can't wait to get to the beach. I've never been to a beach before.

Red: Me neither, Butters.

Stan: I don't think a quarter of the people on this bus have been to the beach ever in their lives.

Annie: It's kind of hard for most of us to get to the beach given we live in the mountains, and Colorado is bordered by states without a coastal region. (Turns to Kurt) Kurty, you and your friends lived in Houston for a while. That's by the Gulf of Mexico, correct?

Kurt: It is, why?

Annie: Tell us what the beach was like. The smells, the sights, the sounds.

Kurt: Well, there's a lot of sand. It actually feels kind of nice on your feet, just watch out for any hermit crabs. Also try not to get any in your bodily crevices or if you're carrying things like backpacks or duffle bags. Sand is a pain in the ass to get rid of.

Annie: Uh-huh.

Kurt: But beyond that is the ocean. A beautiful vast environment home to many creatures, some peaceful and some horrendously violent. You'll never see a more perfect shade of blue than the ocean. The smell of salt water is almost intoxicating and the sound of the waves makes for perfect ASMR triggers. But the best part is when the sun or the moon shines just right, depending on the time of day you're looking at it, the ocean glimmers and sparkles like a beautiful jewel. I've only gone to the beach three times in my life, and I am beside myself with joy knowing I'll be returning to it. (Turns to Annie) I think you're going to love it at the beach, my sweet. And hopefully all of you will enjoy it as well. We should count ourselves lucky that we have the privilege of visiting a majestic ecosystem once again. May we take the memories of this potentially mesmerizing trip to the grave?

(Everyone is moved by Kurt's monologue, but Stan says…)

Stan: Take it easy dude, we're going to Venice Beach not British Virgin Isles.

Red: Yeah, speaking of which, how long does this trip last?

Butters: I think they said about five hours.

Red: Five hours…from South Park to Venice Beach.

Butters: Yup.

Red: Okay now I know this writer's fucking high! According to Google Maps, a trip from where we are to Venice Beach takes about 15 hours and 22 minutes. That's more than half a day. And this writer is telling us we can make the trip in 5 hours. Unless we were travelling at 200 mph, without any traffic, then maybe we could make it in that amount of time. The fact that this writer is stupid enough to believe we can make the trip in five goddamn hours is asinine! It's bullshit! Complete, utter, bullshit!

Ursula: My red delicious apple, please calm down. (Holds Red) It's just anime logic. Anime logic makes no sense, just calm down. Besides I think we know by now this writer is bat shit insane. Something like this is to be expected.

(Later in the trip…again, the bus is about to enter Los Angeles city limits. It's almost at Venice Beach! We cut to an area on the bus that has Sam, Wendy, Bridgette, Clyde, Craig, Heidi, Tweek, Token, Millie, and Bebe)

Millie: L.A! We're almost at the beach!

Craig: Get the sun tan lotion ready kiddies!

Clyde: (Stomach growls) Anybody know any good restaurants at the beach? I'm starting to get very hungry.

Heidi: My Uncle Ed own a bar & grill somewhere on the beach. We can eat there. Maybe I can even ask if he can leave the place open for us after closing time.

Token: As long as he has good food.

Heidi: Trust me, he's an amazing cook. He is the ultimate grill master. Don't believe me, just ask Bebe. She came over one time when Uncle Ed was visiting. Go on, Bebe, tell them. (Turns to Bebe and sees that she's taking some kind of pill, chasing it down with some water afterwards) OH MY GOD YOU'RE ON DRUGS!

Bebe: What!? No I'm not!

Heidi: Where's my newspaper? I need to bop this lass on the nose!

Clyde: Newspaper? What is this, 1958?

Heidi: Someone needs to teach Bebe a lesson before she destroys her body!

Bebe: (Covers her mouth) Heidi, calm the fuck down! You're acting crazy right now.

 _ **CHOMP!**_

Bebe: OWWWW! (Heidi has bitten Bebe's palm to release herself from her grip) Is this how we're starting our vacation off?! Really?!

Heidi: Yes it is! Anyway, if it's not drugs then what is it?

Bebe: (Sigh) Okay, you guys want the truth, here it is: What I ate was a birth control pill.

Sam: Birth control pills? Are you and Cody actually boinking?

Bebe: No…at least not yet. It's just that Cody and I have been dating for about eight years now, and I think it's high time that we take things to the next level. So that's why I'm taking these pills, so when the time is right I'm prepared.

Tweek: Does Cody know you want to go all the way with him?

Bebe: I don't know. I want to say he's thinking it whenever we're alone, and we do talk about it from time to time. You know, all the scenarios that would play out and how it would feel. I just haven't had the guts to ask him afraid he thinks I'm rushing things.

Wendy: Rushing things? You said it yourself, Bebe, you two have been dating for eight years. I'm honestly surprised you two aren't married yet!

Heidi: Besides, if you're as sexually active as you are, chances are Cody is too. I hope you two use this vacation as an opportunity to let off some sexual tension. You said he was coming down to Venice Beach too, right?

Bebe: Yeah.

Sam: Well my advice is don't make him have sex with you if he's not ready. If anything, he should be worrying about this more than you since the man. If Cody, or any man for that matter, is a real charmer and not like a certain former Houston Five member whose name rhymes with Crustin, he's want the first time to be special, emotional, a bond forged with nothing but the love you two have for one another. So in short, let Cody make the first move and respond accordingly.

Bebe: Okay. I just hope this happens soon. My libido kind of skyrocketed since my 17th birthday. When Chef said all those years ago that we'd be ready once we reached 17…he wasn't kidding. Seriously, by quick show of hands how many of you have jacked or jilled off since your respective 17th birthday (She raises her hand, and not surprisingly, the other nine teens with her raise their hand) Good to know I'm not the only one.

(At long last, the bus arrives at Venice Beach)

Jeffrey: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Venice Beach!

(All of the senior class cheered with joy, having finally arrived at their destination. The bus drives through the down, and everyone looks out the window to see all of the shops and businesses in the town. Next, they drive along the beach, where they find loads of people just hanging out on the beach swimming, jogging, playing volleyball, flying kites, etc. They also take a quick look at the boardwalk and all of the fun games and rides they have. After seeing this, they finally arrive at the hotel: Viceroy Santa Monica. Upon arriving to the hotel, the senior class and chaperones leave the bus and enter the lobby. Once inside the hotel, our heroes find the likes of Cody, Sophocles, Leon, Mephesto, and Terrance Mephesto waiting for them)

 **(Terrance Mephesto is wearing a short sleeved purple and yellow striped polo shirt, brown pants, and brown dress shoes. He also has a silver wrist watch on his left wrist, black framed sunglasses on his eyes, and a beige fedora hat on his head)**

Terrance M: (Under his breath) At long last, the simpletons have arrived.

Mephesto: (Nudges him) Terrance, be nice!

Sophocles: Well hello, South Park High School Class of 2025!

Leon: What up, dude!

Cody: Hello again, my friends. (He hugs Bebe) How was the trip down, love?

Bebe: Not bad, not a lot of traffic. All in all, pretty satisfactory journey.

Cody: Wonderful.

Jeffrey: Okay everyone, this is the Viceroy Santa Monica Hotel. This is where we'll be staying over the weekend. You and the other three bunk mates that you've chosen will grab your room key and head to your designated room. You are responsible for your own room key. Other than that, enjoy yourselves. You're all on vacation! Do whatever you feel!

Doug: So long as it's legal!

(All eyes are on the blue hat kid, Brimmy, who is holding a bong)

Brimmy: What? Why is everybody looking at me?

Jeffrey: Right. Anyway, everybody have a good time. If you have any questions, just look for one of us. Checkout is Monday 10:00 A.M. If I don't see any of you during this vacation, then I'll see you then. Once again, have fun, you've all worked hard this year and you all deserve every last bit of this. Enjoy! (He leaves, and Doug, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, Mephesto, and Leon follow)

Leon: Come on dudes, let's hit the beach!

Sophocles: Oh yeah!

Mephesto: Count me in.

Terrance M.: Wait for me, father!

Mephesto: Sorry, Terrance, you know the rules. This is daddy's special guy time. Why don't you hang out with those kids over there?

Terrance M.: What?! Those idiots?! I might as well join South Park Community College right now!

Mephesto: Terrance, this'll be good for you. Besides, you need to learn how to make friends. I'm not going to be around forever. (Walks away) Who knows, maybe you'll like it.

(Terrance M groans at looks to see the class has dispersed. The only ones left are our heroes, Francis, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter, Jason, Bradley, Esther, and Bridon)

Terrance M: (Sigh) It's come to this. (He walks up to the group of teens) Hey.

Token: Hey, you're Mephesto's son, right.

Terrance M: That's right. Look, my dad went off on his own and he says I need to make some friends. And since you guys are already here…do you want to hang out or something?

Wendy: Heh? Terrance Mephesto actually wanting to hang out with us?

Cartman: Yeah, the world must be ending.

Terrance M: Look do you guys want me to hang out with you or not?

Cody: Sure. We'd love to have you, Terrance, old sport.

Lola: WAIT FOR ME! (Comes running towards them and ends up falling on her face)

 **(Lola is wearing a green sweater, a black shawl, blue pants, and black shoes. Her brown hair is still long and still held by a black plastic headband)**

Kenny: Oh my gosh! Lola, are you okay? (Picks her up and helps dust her off)

Lola: Yeah. I-I'm fine. Thanks Kenny.

Tweek: So where's the fire Lola?

Millie: Yeah, what's with all the running?

Lola: (Blushes in embarrassment) Well I, uh…Thought you were all going somewhere and I didn't want to be left alone. I think everybody else is off doing their own thing and you lot were the only ones still here. So, whatever you plan on doing…can I tag along?

Sam: I don't see why not.

Stan: Come on dude, there's enough people here.

Sam: I'm pretty sure the writer wants to give everybody, even minor background characters a part to play.

Kyle: That is a good point, I mean why else would Bridon or Kelly PT be here?

Sam: Anyway, with Lola joining us that makes a good 31 people in our group. And with that, I have to ask…who's ready to hit the beach, baby!

(The other 30 teens cheer with excitement)

Sam: That's what I thought. Suit up everybody!

(Everybody heads to their rooms to change into their swimsuits, but Kurt goes the other way)

Kurt: I'm gonna get the grease and the watermelon, and we're gonna play some Greased…

Annie: NO!

Bridgette: Save it for later, Kurt!

Kurt: (Follows the rest of his group) Well, I tried.

 **(See you all next time when Sam and his merry band of 30 teens hits the beach)**

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**


	23. Swimsuit Description

South Park Saints Episode ?: Revenge of the Descriptions (Swimsuit descriptions)

I originally intended for these descriptions to be in Part 2 of the next episode, but I figured it would just be a waste of space and decided to give the descriptions in a separate chapter. Anyway, Sam and the gang, along with some more familiar faces, are off to the beach next episode, here's their swimwear.

(Mr. Alex Slave: A teal speedo with a violet stripe)

(Annie: Aquamarine tankini with pink polka dots)

(Apollo: Black swim trunks with pictures of green palm trees)

(Bebe: A scarlet red bikini and some brown framed sunglasses)

(Bradley: A pair of royal blue swim trunks with a rose red stripe on the sides and some blue framed sunglasses)

(Bridgette: A white one piece swimsuit with frills)

(Bridon: A pair of blue military patterned swimsuit and some gray framed sunglasses)

(Butters: A pair of seafoam green swim trunks with a white stripe on the sides)

(Cartman: A pair of red swim trunks with a white floral pattern and some white framed sunglasses)

(Clyde: A pair of black swim trunks with a red star pattern)

(Cody: A pair of white swim trunks with golden stripes)

(Craig: A pair of cerulean swim trunks with yellow lightning bolt pattern)

(Doug: Sky blue swim trunks with white polka dots and a grey t-shirt with black framed sunglasses)

(Esther: A pink one piece swimsuit with the sides cut out and sunglasses with yellow heart shaped frames)

(Francis: He's still wearing his military patrol cap, but he also has a white tank top and brown military patterned swim trunks. He also has silver framed sunglasses)

(Heidi: An olive green tankini with a red stripe running across the tank top portion)

(Jason: Purple swim trunks with white star pattern. He also has a purple and black baseball cap on his head)

(Jeffrey: Honey colored swim trunks and a black t-shirt)

(Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: A ruffled hot pink bikini)

(Kenny: Yellow swim trunks with black stripes on the sides and a white tanktop)

(Kevin: A plain black speedo)

(Kurt: A pair of swim trunks with a white and beige wavy pattern. He also has orange framed sunglasses and a brown Stetson hat)

(Kyle: A pair of swim trunks with green and orange checkered pattern)

(Leon: Shamrock Green swim trunks and a blue cap)

(Lola: An emerald green front tie bikini)

(Maria: A red and white checkered one piece swimsuit)

(Mephesto: Pretty much his regular attire)

(Millie: A green one piece swimsuit with a white floral pattern and side cutouts. Her sunglasses and sun hat come into play here)

(Red: A lilac colored bikini with red heart pattern and purple framed sunglasses)

(Sam: A pair of black swim trunks with a flame pattern and his sunglasses)

(Sophocles: A dark blue Tommy Bahama shirt with pictures of yellow flowers and white swim trunks)

(Stan: A pair of coffee brown swim trunks)

(Terrance Mephesto: A plain white t-shirt and amber yellow swim trunks)

(Token: An eggplant purple colored speedo with a yellow star on the crotch area and black framed sunglasses)

(Tweek: Tie dye swim trunks with black tank top)

(Ursula: Black two piece swimsuit with boy short bottoms and high neck top)

(Wendy: Violet bikini with a short ruffled skirt. Both the top and the skirt have a bubblegum pink floral pattern)

Okay…that is all of the characters that'll appear next chapter in their swimsuits. Tell me what you think and Part 2 of Vacation of Devastation shall be up….soon hopefully.


	24. Vacation of Devastation (Part 2)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 22: Vacation of Devastation (Part 2)

 **(First long chapter in a while, let's do it!)**

(We start this portion of the episode off with our group of 31 walking to the beach wearing their swimsuits, and carrying beach blankets, umbrellas, bags full of snacks, a bag containing the South Park Saints costumes and weapons, and beach toys, ready to have some fun. Our heroes are wearing their swimsuits with pride.)

Sam: (Giggling excitedly) Get ready guys, we're almost at the beach. Get the beach balls, sun screen, and beach toys ready because when we get there, I'm making a mad dash for that ocean.

Bradley: I'll be charging in right behind you, Sam. (Looks up at the sun) I've never experienced a day this hot before.

Esther: Weather channel said that it's in the mid-80s and it'll only get hotter. I'd say we picked the right time to hit the beach.

Bridon: I just hope the heat doesn't screw up our instruments so that they're out of tune.

Craig: It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Bridon: (Shudders) Even worse.

Ursula: (Does some poses for Red as she walks) Take a good long look at your babe in shining armor, Red.

Red: Oh (Purrs) I'm loving what I'm seeing.

Ursula: I could say the same thing about you. (Whistles) You might just be the most attractive girl on this beach.

Cody: No offense to you two, but that's doubtful. My darling Bebe is quite possibly the beautiful babe you'll ever see.

Bebe: (Blushes) Aw, Cody, you're just saying that.

Cody: No, I'm serious, love. I honestly have never seen anyone this beautiful.

Bebe: (Giggles) Aw, baby. You know, you're look pretty hot too.

Cody: (Blushes) R-Really?

Stan: I've got to side with Bebe on this one, Cody, you look pretty good.

Kurt: Yeah, bud. Never knew that underneath that white sweater of yours was an awesome physique waiting to be shown off.

Cody: Well, after spending six years doing fencing and three years playing polo, I'm bound to be in good physical condition.

Kenny: Guys, can we all just agree that each and every one of us look absolutely bangin'.

Cartman: Don't forget _bangable_ as well.

Millie: You kidding? I say we look beyond bangable.

Butters: Is this how most swinger parties get started? Is this what this romp is going to turn into?

(Everyone laughs at Butters' comment)

Heidi: Not unless you want it to.

(Everyone laughs even harder at Heidi's comment. It's at this moment when our heroes arrive at the beach. There's a good amount of people there having fun, but our heroes were more interested in the sandy landscape and vast ocean blue)

Bridgette: Wow! Look at this!

Francis: It's just like I imagined it!

Annie: No words…should've sent a poet.

Kevin: What are we standing around here for? The beach awaits!

(The group of 31 teenagers run into the beach, ready for an awesome day…but little do they know, many miles from Venice Beach, Captain Alejandro Cervantes and his crew are on their way. Alejandro is looking forward with determination in his eyes)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We cut to the adults of the team, Jeffrey, Doug, Sophocles, Mephesto, Mr. Slave, and Leon, who are on a secluded beach somewhere, ready to partake in guy time. Doug, Jeffrey, Mr. Slave, and Leon are sitting, waiting for Sophocles and Mephesto to arrive with refreshments)

Leon: Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys.

Jeffrey: No problem Leon. But, if you don't mind me asking…wouldn't you rather hang out with Sam and his friends? I mean, they are closer to your age range.

Leon: Yeah, but I figured I'd try and find some older friends. Sort of mentor type characters that can help me through life.

Doug: Well, if you're looking for mentors, we've been around the block a few times. Anything you need, just come to us and we'll help you out any way we can.

Leon: Great. (He looks to his side to see Sophocles and Mephesto carrying a ham with pineapples and cherries on it) Well what do we have here?

Mephesto: Look what Sophocles and I brought.

Alex Slave: It's a ham.

Sophocles: Not just any ham, my homosexual friend. This ham has been soaked in rum.

Jeffrey: So it's a rum ham?

Mephesto: Precisely!

Doug: Where on earth did you get a rum ham?

Sophocles: We passed a butcher shop that was having a sale of about a hundred of these. We would've grabbed like ten more but we would've gotten trampled by all the people that were there.

Mephesto: This rum ham gives you the meaty sensation a normal ham would give you, while also getting you drunk as a skunk. You got the best of both worlds.

Alex Slave: Well, Jesus, what are we waiting for! Cut me off a slice!

Sophocles: With pleasure.

(Sophocles give everyone a slice of some ham and turns to Leon last)

Sophocles: Hey, Leon, you want a slice?

Leon: M-Me? But I'm 20. I'm technically and adult, but that doesn't mean I'm of legal age to consume alcohol. I only have one more year.

Doug: Hey, we won't tell anyone if you don't.

Alex Slave: Besides, you're on vacation. Let loose, Leon. No one has to know.

Leon: (Somewhat snarky) And these are the people I chose to be my life teachers.

Jeffrey: We're not making you, Leon.

Leon: (Thinks for a bit) Ah, what the hell, you only suffer through life once. Might as well live it up like each day is your last. Cut me off a piece of that pig, doc!

Sophocles: You got it!

(Just as Sophocles is about to cut a piece of ham, a random dog starts to bark, wanting a piece of it. The six beach goers try and keep the ham away from him just as his owner comes up to stop the commotion)

Dog Owner: Sparky, down! Bad boy! No! (The dog returns to his owner's side as he talks to the six adults) I'm sorry about my Sparky's behavior. He just love ham.

Sophocles: Don't worry about it.

Dog Owner: If you want my advice, I recommend hanging out somewhere else if you're going to be eating that ham. A lot of owners take their dogs out for walks around here at this hour.

Sophocles: (Turns to his friends) You hear that gang? Unless we want to share this ham with 12 other flea ridden mongrels (Turns back to the dog owner) No offense (Back to his five friends) We're gonna have to pack it up and move our party elsewhere.

Doug: Well where are we going to go? This was the best spot we could find.

Jeffrey: (Looks out into the ocean) I have an idea!

(Cut to the six adults on a big inflatable raft, floating in the sea, enjoying their rum ham)

Doug: (Relaxed sigh) Gotta say, Jeff, this is probably your best idea ever.

Jeffrey: Not as good of an idea as this rum ham.

Leon: Leave it to the good doctor Sophocles to deliver something as delectable as this bad boy.

Sophocles: I can't take all of the credit now, it was the butcher shop that made it. (From the distance, they hear plenty of dogs barking on the beach and their owners looking on in confusion) SCREW YOU MANGY MUTTS!

Alex Slave: Yeah, go lick some peanut butter off of your owner's cocks!

Mephesto: Okay, how Slave, that was too much.

Alex Slave: Sorry.

(Back with our group of 31 teenagers, they all went their separate ways to have some fun. First stop: Bridon, Jason, Esther, and Bradley set up a stage on the beach so they can do a beachfront concert. The concert has attracted quite a number of beach goers, among them are Sam, Wendy, and Terrance Mephesto)

Jason: (Singing) Aruba! Jamaica! Oh, I want to take you!

Bridon: (Singing) Bermuda! Bahama! Come on pretty mama!

Esther: (Singing) Key Largo! Montego! Baby, why don't we go down to Kokomo!

Jason, Bridon, Esther, and Bradley: (Singing) We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow. That's where we want to go! Way down in Kokomo!

Jason: (Singing) Martinique, that Montserrat mystique!

(Sam and Wendy are enjoying the show but Terrance is just looking on annoyed)

Sam: Those guys really are something.

Wendy: Yeah, they're so in sync. Their little band might actually have a future. (Turns to Terrance Mephesto) What do you think, Terrance?

Terrance M: These four are on a cruise to nowhere…and the Beach Boys are overrated.

Sam: Blasphemy.

Wendy: Come on, Terrance, can't you at least try and have a good time.

Terrance M: Try and have fun. (Scoffs) Might as well ask me to be the next president because neither are going to happen anytime soon. (Looks back at the four teenagers performing) Their little band isn't going to last. And even if it does, one of them is going to let the fame go to their heads, causing the other three to quit, wind up in dead end jobs, and find themselves in loveless marriages.

Sam: Terrance, not to sound like a dick, but you're presence in general is really bumming me out, and I can't be around people like you right now. So I'll just see myself out.

Wendy: I'm right behind you.

(Sam and Wendy leave the Terrance and the crowd and head for another part of the beach, but Francis is behind a sand dune recording them)

Francis: (Recording) And here we see Samuel Cooper and Wendy Testaburger, A.K.A Sir Justice and Fuchsia Tigress. These two have been inseparable since the 4th grade. Together they are the two highest ranking members of the South Park Saints. Nobody else on the team can square up to them.

Token: (From behind him) What are you doing?

Francis: (Gets startled and stops recording to look at Token) Excuse me! I was trying to record footage for my documentary.

Token: It looks to me like you're stalking them.

Francis: It's not my fault that you, them, and the rest of your merry band of friends are so goddamn awesome…and I secretly want to become one of you someday. Just let me film my documentary, damn it! Stop interrogating me!

Token: I'm…not interrogating you.

Francis: Sorry, it's just when I'm in the zone, and I'm knocked out of said zone…I get a bit crabby.

Token: (Nervously) Yeah…don't we…all. (Slowly backs away from Francis as he continues to record)

(Back with Sam and Wendy, they're just walking along the beach)

Sam: I just don't know what's up with that Terrance dude. Just because he's not having fun on this vacation, he has to ruin it for everyone else.

Wendy: (Holds his hand) Don't mind him, Sam. It's going take a lot more than a miserable pile of shit like him to bring us down.

Sam: (Smiles warmly) Yeah, as long as we're together, nothing can ruin this vacation. (Brings Wendy into a hug when all of the sudden…) Hey Wendy? Have you noticed that the birds just randomly stopped chirping?

Wendy: Actually…yeah.

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin: (Appears out of nowhere) Hi, Sam!

Wendy: OH GOD!

Kelly RM: I've been looking all over this beach for you, you silly goose.

 **(Kelly RM's swimsuit is an orange tankini with black heart pattern)**

Wendy: Can we go _one week_ without you harassing us!?

Kelly RM: I only "harass" you two just so I can see how well you're treating my little Sammy-Wammy.

Wendy: Well you'll be happy to know that he's very happy right now. Probably the happiest he's ever been.

Sam: That's right! Now there's a lot to do on this beach Kelly. Loads of rides on the board walk, a movie theatre a few blocks from here, and nice places to eat. Wouldn't you rather do those things than follow me around?

Kelly RM: Only if you tag along.

Sam: Okay, Kelly, you clearly didn't hear me the other week in regards to our relationship so I'll say it again: We are not, and never will be, boyfriend and girlfriend. Wendy is may bae, so you need to get out the way. You feel me…lay-day.

Kelly RM: (Giggles) Oh Sammy, you're so good at rhyming.

Wendy: (Whispers in Sam's ear) She's not getting it. Just chew her out. It doesn't have to last long.

Sam: (Whispers back) I'm not going to do that. I'm not a yeller. (Turns his attention back to Kelly) Well Kelly, we'd like to stay and chat, but we have more important things to do… (Points in random direction) Over there so…goodbye! (He and Wendy run off)

Kelly RM: Bye, Sammy! I'll wait for you! Wendy, you better treat my baby right!

(On another part of the beach, we have Stan, Kyle, Heidi, Kenny swimming in the ocean)

Kenny: The water is just the right temperature today.

Heidi: (Spots a big wave coming up) Watch this, guys. (She swims into the wave and when it dies down…she doesn't resurface)

Kyle: Oh my God, Heidi!

Stan: Heidi! No! (Immediately starts to search for her frantically) Heidi are you okay?! No! God doesn't want you yet!

(All of the sudden, something covered in seaweed rises from the water and gets behind Stan)

Kyle: Stan! Look out behind you!

(Stan turns around to see the seaweed monster and he screams in fear…only for the monster to start laughing. The being removes the seaweed to reveal Heidi)

Heidi: (Laughing) Wow, you should've seen the look on your face.

Stan: (Starts to chuckle warmly at the joke) Okay that was pretty cool. I won't lie.

Kenny: Well that was a fucked up trick, Heidi. We thought you drowned!

Kyle: Yeah! Not cool!

Heidi: Well excuse me if my dark sense of humor doesn't tickle your fancies.

Stan: I kind of liked it.

Heidi: Thank you Stan. (Wraps her arm around his waist) At least someone knows good comedy when they see it.

(All of the sudden, Lola comes up on a jet ski)

Lola: Coming through! (Does circles around Heidi, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny and stops after a while) Like my jet ski?

Kenny: Yeah, it looks awesome!

Heidi: How did you get a sweet ride like this?

Lola: There's a rental station not far from here. Yeah, it goes 50 dollars per hour. I've been riding this for almost two hours now.

Kyle: $50 dollars per hour?! That's crazy! Where do you even find that kind of money?

Heidi: You guys are forgetting that Lola's family is among the richest and most powerful families in South Park. The Clark Family, while nowhere near as rich as Cody and the Oppenheimer Family or the rest of the residents of South Park Hills, are still richer than Token and the Black Family. Hell, her family could buy Token and his family…that sounds wrong now that I stop and think about it.

Lola: Uh-huh…Anyway, I'm willing to share my good fortune with you guys.

Stan: Really? Thanks, Lola!

Lola: No problem. So, who wants to ride with me first? (Looks at Kenny and smiles) How about you, Kenny?

Kenny: Oh, uh, sure. Thanks. (Hops on the backseat of the jet ski and wraps his arms around her waist causing Lola to blush) I'm ready when you are, Lola.

Lola: (Snaps out of it) Oh, right! Okay, Kenny, hang on!

 **(Cue Pump It by Black Eyed Peas)**

 **(Ha, ha, ha! Pump it! Ha, Ha, Ha!)**

(Lola and Kenny take off on the jet ski)

 **(And pump it! (Louder!)(x4))**

(They go a good distance as not to run any beach patrons over)

 **(Turn up the radio! Blast your stereo right!)**

Lola: Here is where the magic happens!

 **(Niggas wanna hate on us! (Who?) Niggas be envious! (Who?) And I know why they hatin' on us! (Why?) 'Cause that's so fabulous (What?) I'm a be real on us (c'mon) Nobody got nothing on us! (No!) Girls be all on us, from London back down to the U.S (S.S) We rockin' it (Contagious) Monkey Business (Outrageous) Just confess your girl admits that we the shit!)**

(Lola picks up speed and the she begins doing tricks, turning quickly, and if a ramp crossed their path, they jumped it to get some wicked air)

Kenny: Yee-haw!

(Many beach patrons, including our heroes, begin to turn their attention to Lola and Kenny)

Craig: Whoa, look at them go!

Tweek: Oh! They're going too fast! They're going to hurt themselves (Covers his eyes) I can't watch!

Annie: Kurt, are you seeing this?! They're killing it out there!

Kurt: (Recording the jet skiing with his phone as does Annie) Yeah! This is like an intense game of Wave Race 64!

 **(F-R-E-S-H Fresh! D-E-F that's right we def (Rock!) We definite B-E-P, we rappin' it! So turn it up (Turn it up) (x3))**

(Kenny and Lola continue to ride the jet ski fast)

Lola: Kenny, you having back there?

Kenny: Fuck yes! I love you so much right now!

Lola: (Blushes a little and giggles to herself and starts to swoon)

 **(C'mon baby just Pump it (Louder!) (x6) And say, oh, oh, oh, oh! Say oh, oh, oh, oh! Yo, Yo! Turn up the radio! Blast the stereo right now! This joint is fizzling! It's sizzling right!)**

(Francis starts recording the two of them jet skiing)

Francis: (Recording) And here we have Kenny McCormick, A.K.A Mysterion, riding on the back of a jet ski driven by Lola Clark: One of the richest people in South Park! They are dashing across the ocean as if they were some kind of badass barracuda! This shows that the great Mysterion shows no fear! Holy shit, they gotta be going 60 mph at least! This is either going to result in the most badass X-Game worthy jet ski session ever, or the most wackiest America's Funniest Home Video esque wipeout this side of World Star Hip Hop.

 **(Damn! (Damn) (x5))**

Kenny: I've never felt so alive!

Lola: (Snaps out of swooning to see they are about to crash into a dock) That feeling might go away in the next 10 seconds!

Kenny: Oh shit! Turn, Lola, Turn!

 **(Record scratch)**

(Lola is too scared to turn and they end up crashing into the dock and go flying a few feet into the air. Stan, Heidi, and Kyle look on as they fly through the air)

Heidi: Fly away, crazy kids, be free!

Kyle: Dudes, we've got to check up on them!

(The trio go to help Lola and Kenny. When they arrive to their crash site in the beach, they find a funny sight: Lola on top of Kenny, her breasts in his face)

Heidi: Holy guacamole, that was quite a distance you two flew! Are you okay?

Lola: (Turns to face the trio) Yeah, I'm fine.

Stan: What about Kenny?

Kenny: (Muffled) I'm fine… (Lola lifts herself up from Kenny, and he is in a lust induced daze, nose bleeding) At least something soft landed on me.

(Stan, Kyle, and Heidi laugh, but Lola blushes)

Lola: I'm sorry, Kenny.

Kenny: (Thumbs up, still dazed) Don't worry about it.

Stan: (Helps Kenny up) That was ridiculous. I can't believe Cartman missed that.

Heidi: Hmm. Speaking of which, where is he? (She looks around and sees Cartman tying a volleyball net to two palm trees. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Lola turn their attention to Cartman too) What the hell is he doing?

Kyle: Jesus Freaking Christ! (The five teenagers go over to Cartman) Okay Cartman, what's going on this time?

Cartman: It's the beach, dude. People are bound to get into some crazy shit here and I want to be one of those people.

Stan: What are you even trying to do?

Cartman: I want to use this volleyball net as a giant slingshot. I'll climb inside, pull it back, and go flying!

Kenny: This is just like the time you tried to fly by jumping off your roof.

Cartman: Kind of yes. Think of this as take two from that day. Speaking of take two, it's time to give my speech again. (Clears throat) Since the days of Copernicus man has dreamed of flight. On this historic day…

Heidi: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Orville and Redenbacher, new era of aerial travel, magic of flight, blah, blah, blah! Can you just get it over with, please, before somebody notices and we're banned from this beach?

Kyle: Yeah, get it over with…I want to see you crash and burn.

(Heidi, Stan, Kenny, and Lola giggle at that remark)

Cartman: (Groan) Fine, whatever, spoil the moment. (Inhales deeply) Let's do this!

(Cartman takes a few steps back, causing the volleyball net to stretch back with him. He releases and Cartman goes flying)

Cartman: WOO-HOO! (Goes flying towards the boardwalk)

Kyle: Wow, he's really going flying this time!

Kenny: We'd better follow him!

(The five teenagers follow the airborne Cartman to the boardwalk. On the boardwalk, there's a man trying to sell fresh produce, fruits and vegetables)

Salesman: Get your fresh fruits and vegetables here! Tangerines rich in Vitamin C! Spinach rich in iron! I got it all here! Freshly grown! Get 'em while they're hot!

Cartman: WAAAAAHHHH! (Flies right into a crate that has a bunch of cabbages)

Salesman: GAH! MY CABBAGES!

(It's at this moment when Lola, Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Heidi arrive)

Lola: Holy crap did you fly.

Kenny: I have to admit, that was pretty fucking awesome.

Stan: (Helps Cartman out of the cabbage pile along with Heidi) Are you okay, Cartman.

Cartman: That was so wicked you guys.

Salesman: YOU! You little beach brats ruined my freshly grown cabbage! Judging by the damage, I need you to give me $250 right now or you're all going to jail!

Kyle: $250!? How are we gonna come up with that money?

Salesman: I'm waiting.

(The six teenagers look nervous when they hear a man's voice behind them)

Voice: Yo, leave these cats alone dude. They just a bunch of kids having a good time…

Kenny: Huh?

(There are four people right behind the six teenagers, three male and one female. The four people appear to be in their mid-20s. They're only known by their nicknames: Ace, Blaze, and Inkwell, the three males, and Carmel the female)

Ace:…Not that we'd expect an old geezer like you to know anything about having a good time.

 **(Ace has short brunette hair is wearing some white framed sunglasses with blue lenses. He's also wearing an open shirt that's orange with a yellow floral pattern and some red swimtrunks as well as black flip flops. Ace is chewing on a toothpick)**

 **(Blaze has a dark blue tank top, a black bandana on his head covering his black hair tied in a man bun. He's got denim cargo shorts, and black sneakers. His right arm is covered in burns)**

 **(Carmel appears to be a beautiful Hispanic girl with tanned skin. She has long, black hair with red highlights. She's wearing a black bikini top with yellow stars on the cups of the top, and some short olive green shorts as well as brown sandals)**

 **(Inkwell is a buff Asian man with tattoos all over his body. He's wearing brown cargo shorts and some white high top shoes. He's also wearing a green cap backwards)**

Ace: Lay off these kids, yo, or your cabbages won't be the only thing of yours damaged.

Salesman: (Groans and turns to the six teenagers) You little punks are lucky. Now get out of my sight before I call the police!

(The six teenagers leave with the four beach goers as they walk along the boardwalk)

Cartman: Thanks for saving us back there, dudes.

Blaze: No problemo, amigo. You six were just trying to embrace the spirit of beach life. Kudos to that, dudes.

Carmel: Yeah, major props. You lot look like you know how to have a good time. (Places a hand on Kenny's shoulder)

Kenny: (Blushes) Oh…thank you. (Lola sees this and glares at Carmel)

Ace: We saw, y'all on the jet ski, and flying through the air like a comet. When we saw all that, we said, "Oh shit! These cool kids know how to have some fun!" But where are our manners. I'm Ace. These three are Carmel, Inkwell, and Blaze, my BBFLs: Best Buds For Life, Yo!

Stan: Nice to meet you. I'm Stan, and these guys here are Heidi, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Lola.

Inkwell: Well you all seem like new faces.

Kyle: The six of us are actually here on senior trip from South Park.

Ace: I've heard of many towns in my day, but I ain't never heard of no South Park.

Inkwell: Hey, Ace, isn't South Park the name of that town with those superheroes? They call themselves, The South Park Saints, or something? I think these cool kids are some of them right now.

Cartman: Well, I guess we've been found out. Yeah, we're the South Park Saints…(Looks at Lola) Most of us anyway. I'm the Coon, Kenny's Mysterion, Kyle's Human Kite, Stan's Tool Shed, and Heidi's Fatal Feline.

Heidi: Meow!

Ace: That's fuckin' dope, dudes! We've got to chill with y'all.

Kenny: Sure, we'll hang. Where do you want to go?

Blaze: Well, we're at the boardwalk, ain't we? Lots of rides and games to be played here, you dig? How's about we kick it here?

Cartman: Kick ass, dude! (Turns to his friends)

Heidi: Actually, I think I'm going to go find some food.

Stan: Can I come along too? I'm feeling a bit hungry myself.

Heidi: I don't mind. Hey, maybe I can take you to my uncle's restaurant.

Stan: I'd like that, Heidi, thanks. (Turns to Kenny, Lola, Kyle, and Cartman) I guess I'll catch up with you four later then, huh?

Kyle: Looks that way. See you later, dude. (Whispers in Stan's ear) Now would be an opportune moment to ask Heidi out. (He leaves with the four beach goers and his other three friends) See you later.

Heidi: Uh, Stan, what did Kyle whisper to you?

Stan: Uh…it was nothing. Just…bets on who was going to win the World Series this year.

Heidi: Oh I hope the Red Sox. They're due for a victory.

Stan: Yeah…So, you ready to go?

Heidi: You bet. Come on, let's go. (The duo leave to find the restaurant)

(We cut to another part of the beach where Butters is busy making a sandcastle)

Butters: (Constructs a tower) That looks good. I think I'll add a flag on the roof. Maybe a few more towers here and there. A tall wall with some guards and a moat with some sharks and Fort Butters will be complete.

Token: (Walks by carrying a boogie board and looks at Butters sandcastle) That's a pretty cool sandcastle you got there, Butters.

Butters: Gosh, thanks Token.

Token: It's really coming along nicely…but wouldn't you rather go swimming in the ocean. Don't get me wrong, you made a great sandcastle, it's just that sandcastle building is kind of kiddy.

Butters: There's nothing wrong with remaining a kid at heart.

Token: I understand. I just don't want anybody to make fun of you.

Butters: Buck-o, my grandma abused me almost every time she visited me until I had the courage to face her head on. I think I can handle anything at this point.

Token: If you say so. I'm going to boogie boarding. Later. (Leaves as Butters continues his sand castle. It's at this point when he hears a voice)

Voice: That sand castle really is coming along nicely.

Butters: Huh? Who said that?

Voice: Over here!

(Butters looks to find a head buried in the sand. The head has short dull brown hair and olive green eyes. By the look on his face, he appears to be about 15 years old)

Butters: (Shrieks in shock)

Head: Heh? What's the matter, never seen a head buried in the sand before? (Chuckles) Relax, I'm just a guy buried in the sand.

Butters: (Getting over his shock) Oh…right. Uh, I knew that.

Head: Didn't think you did. (Chuckles) I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. My name's Dan by the way.

Butters: Nice to meet you, Dan, I'm Butters. Well, technically my name is Leopold, but everybody calls me Butters.

Dan: Okay, Butters.

Butters: So, what are you doing buried in the sand?

Dan: Well, since it's Memorial Day Weekend, my school decided to give us today and Monday off so we have a 4-day weekend. My dad is always hounding me to make some friends, so I decided to utilize this weekend to hang out on the beach and make some friends. I told a group of kids about your age that I'd give them $50 dollars if they'd be my friend.

Butters: And what happened next?

Dan: They said if they got the money first and I buried myself in the sand first, then they'd be my friend. So, I gave them my money, even throwing in 10 bucks extra, and buried myself.

Butters: (Seeing something wrong in this scenario) And where are these "friends" now?

Dan: They said they had to go somewhere, but they'd be right back to help me out.

Butters: And how long have you been buried?

Dan: About three hours.

Butters: Uh…

Dan: (Sigh) I know, they're not coming back and they robbed me blind of my cash. Aw well, c'est la vie. Anyway, Butters, if you don't mind could you set me free. It's starting to get sandy in all the wrong places.

Butters: Yeah sure.

(Butters digs Dan up and he is freed. Dan is shown to be wearing a red t-shirt and olive green swim trunks)

Dan: Thanks, Butters. (Looks over at the sandcastle Butters build) Your sand castle really does look nice, doesn't it?

Butters: Yeah, I put a lot of work into it. I want to get into the field of architecture when I graduate.

Dan: That's pretty cool. So, you think maybe you can teach me how to make a castle like that? And maybe knock them down for shits and giggles?

Butters: I don't see why not.

Dan: Cool! Maybe we can hit the boardwalk after that. There's a funnel cake stand here, and boy Venice Beach's funnel cake is to die for.

Butters: Sounds like a plan. You know something, Dan, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Dan: I think so too, Butters. (The two new friends begin to build another sandcastle)

(We cut to another part of the beach. The likes of Clyde, Cody, Maria, Apollo, Craig, and Tweek are hiding behind some bushes admiring Bridgette, Bebe, Millie, and Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter as they are just sunbathing. Clyde and Cody are focused on the former two girls, but the latter two girls are being gawked at by Craig, Tweek, and Maria. Apollo looks like he could care less)

Clyde: Damn, Bridgette looks hot in that one piece. It really is better to conceal rather than reveal, no?

Cody: (Not listening to him) Bebe looks so beautiful. An absolute beach goddess. I'd love nothing more than to rub sun lotion on those seductive legs and the soft and supple skin of her back.

Clyde: What's stopping you, bud? She's your girlfriend.

Cody: As a loyal lover to Bebe, I never like to disrupt her when she's in the middle of girl time with any of her friends. It'd be very rude of me to intrude on her like that.

Craig: Hey, Cody, you say Bebe's legs are seductive? (Points at Kelly PT) PT's legs are absolutely perfect. That girl is 5'6'' of beauty right there.

Tweek: I don't know about you, but Millie looks absolutely adorable. Green really is her color.

Maria: (Licks her lips lustfully) I personally have no favorites with these four. They all look hot to trot.

Cody: I never knew you were a lesbian, Maria.

Maria: Yeah, well, since Apollo and I weren't made like most humans, we were made without a specified sexuality. So in short, anything goes.

Craig: That's hot.

Maria: Don't believe me? Back in Apollo's mischief making days he'd "assault" people of both genders. Ain't that right, brother?

Apollo: (Still thinking about what Noah said)

Maria: Apollo?

Apollo:…

Maria: APOLLO!

Apollo: Huh? What?

Maria: Didn't you hear what I said?

Apollo: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Clyde: Is something the matter dude?

Cody: Yeah, you haven't exactly been the same since my family reunion.

Tweek: Are you slipping back into your little nihilism act?

Apollo: No, I'm fine. (Thinks up a lie) It's just that hanging behind these bushes gets very uncomfortable. I'm going to go for a swim to cool off. Bye. (Leaves)

Craig: What's with him?

Clyde: Who knows? Let's just get back to babe watching.

(The five teens go back to admiring the four girls on the beach when Terrance Mephesto shows up)

Terrance M: Salutations, ingrates.

Cody: (Under his breath) Look who's talking.

Tweek: What brings you by, Terrance?

Terrance M: Nothing much, just on a walk. (Looks over at the four girls that our heroes were gawking at) Admiring the beach beauties over there?

Craig: Of course, it's one of the hallmark beach activities.

Terrance M: (Looks at the four girls with them) Are you all enjoying what you're seeing?

Clyde: Duh, why else would we be doing this?

Terrance M: Well, enjoy this while it lasts.

Tweek: What do you mean?

Terrance M: Those four girls are at their peak. They'll never be as physically attractive as they are now. But fast forward, say, 15 years later, when pounds are packed on, crow's feet sets in, chest balloons deflate a bit, and the pretty brown/blonde/strawberry blonde hair gets a grayish tint. Suddenly they look less desirable. This should be an especially big deal for people like Clyde and Cody who just so happen to be dating two of those four ladies over there.

Cody: What are you getting at?

Terrance M: I'm saying if, or rather when, Bridgette and Bebe's appearance changes for the worse, you might not stay together for very long.

Clyde: Terrance, that's crazy. Do you honestly think Bridgette and Bebe's physical attributes are why Cody and I are in love with them?

Cody: We love them because they're good company. They know how to have fun, they're super sweet to us, grew up on good morals, and we can feel like we can be ourselves when we're around them.

Clyde: The fact that they're drop dead gorgeous is a bonus. So just watch, 15 years later, and I think the relationship Bridge and I have, and the relationship Bebe and Cody have will still be going strong.

Terrance M: Okay…but tell me, what'll happen when time catches up to you gentlemen as well. You might think you'll be able to stay with your "insignificant others" when time catches up to them, but do they feel the same way about you? What happens when your locks fall out, leaving you nothing but a couple of cue balls? Or when you start to favor the grape, or wheat/grain/hard lemonade whatever, and you start to bloat up. I doubt that's a look your ladies will get behind.

Maria: Terrance, if Clyde and Cody's girlfriends really, genuinely love them, they won't care what they look like.

Clyde: Yeah, besides, I don't mind looking bald. I dressed up as Walter White from Breaking Bad last Halloween, Bridgette loved it.

Terrance M: Clyde, everyone knows that when a woman says something, she actually means the opposite…except in the bedroom, no really does mean no.

Clyde: Bridgette wouldn't lie to me like that. She's a good Christian girl!

Terrance M: She'll lie to you if it means sparing your feelings.

Cody: Well, I know my Bebe wouldn't do me wrong.

Terrance M: How could you be so sure? Did you know about a year or two before she met you, Bebe conspired with the other girls to get Clyde on the top of "The Cutest Boy List," all so she could get free shoes.

Cody: (Visibly heartbroken) S-She didn't tell me that.

Terrance M: There's more to Bebe that meets the eye. What if she's using you the same way she used Clyde? You are one of the richest people in South Park after all.

Cody: But…she's always so nice to me and my family. She would never…

Tweek: Cody, don't listen to him!

Craig: Yeah, he's just jealous that he can't get a girl like Bebe _or_ Bridgette so he's trying to knock you and Clyde down a couple of pegs!

Terrance M: These aren't words spoken out of jealousy. They're just facts of life that I want to impart to them. Well, I think I've overstayed my welcome here. So long, kiddies! (He leaves)

Cody: (Looks heartbroken) Clyde…is this true? Was Bebe really a conniving weasel back in the day? (Gets a pained expression on his face for calling his girlfriend such a thing)

Clyde: Don't get mad, but yeah. (He sees that Cody looks like he's about to cry) But 10 years have passed since that day, she's a changed woman. I can't even remember the last time she tried anything that evil.

Cody: Maybe I should confront her on this? I was planning on using this vacation to celebrate our eight year anniversary. Maybe I can ask her about this when I see her. I just hope it doesn't ruin things…especially for what I have planned.

Maria: That's not a bad idea. Do that!

Cody: Okay. I'm going to go find Red, Ursula, Annie, and Kurt and ask them for some romantic help for this anniversary I have planned. Catch you guys later?

Tweek: Yeah. (Cody leaves and as soon as he does, Bridon enters the scene)

Craig: 'Sup Bridon?

Bridon: Nothing much, Wolf Jaws is just taking an intermission from their beach side concert. So what are you lot up to?

Maria: Look! (Points at the four teen girls sunbathing and Bridon looks on too)

Bridon: Ah the old beachside pass time of babe watching. Probably the best type of beach activity.

Tweek: Want to look on with us?

Bridon: Sure. (Looks on with his friends)

Clyde: See anything you like…other than Bridgette and Bebe because they're off limits.

Bridon: Well, if I'm being honest. I kind of have a soft spot for PT.

Maria: You mean Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter?

Bridon: Yeah. I don't know what it is but there's a part of me that wants to get to know her better? Not to mention I'm the only one in my band who isn't dating. Jason and Esther are going steady, and I think Bradley is seeing both O'Connor sisters.

Clyde: Jessie and Kal?! Damn, Brad sure does get around.

Bridon: That's not the point. The point it that I want to ask PT out.

Tweek: PT is a nice girl, but I don't think she's interested in playing the Dating Game…like at all. Not since what happened with Justin all those years ago.

Craig: Still, that was eight years ago. Her heart must've healed some by now.

Maria: I don't know, the healing process for things like assault and rape vary from person to person. Take Bebe and Millie for example: They too were assaulted by Justin, but they seem to have gotten over it quickly, enough so for the former girl to get a boyfriend. PT's healing process might be a bit slower compared to theirs, hence why she's not in a rush to "get back on the scene".

Bridon: Still though, it wouldn't hurt to ask her out.

Tweek: Just get ready to be turned down, alright?

Bridon: I definitely won't have a shot at her if I don't ask her out. You'll see, things will work out well for the both of us. (Leaves to talk with Kelly PT)

Clyde: (Turns to Craig, Maria, and Tweek) Hey, you guys want to find some lunch.

Maria: Okay. (She and the three boys leave)

(We cut to the spot on the beach where Bebe and her three friends are chilling out on their beach blankets, soaking in some sun. Millie had fallen asleep complete with anime snot bubble, Bridgette is reading Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Bebe and PT are on their stomachs trying to get their backs tanned, their swimsuit tops untied as to avoid tan lines)

Bebe: (Looks over at Kelly PT to see a sun tattoo on the back of her left shoulder, and a moon tattoo on the back of the right one) Wow, those are some pretty neat tattoos, Kelly.

Kelly PT: Oh, thanks Bebe. I got them on my 18th birthday last January. The tattoo parlor where I got them does really nice work.

Bebe: I can see that.

Bridgette: I'm not a fan of body art myself, but they do give you great panache. The sun and moon motif really suits you well.

Kelly PT: I'm glad you like them, Bridgette. I didn't know whether to get these, angel wings, or a bouquet of roses. But after hearing your compliments, I think I made the right choice.

Millie: (Wakes up) What are we talking about?

Bebe: Kelly's sweet tattoos. Take a look.

Millie: (Looks over at the tattoos on Kelly's back) Say, those really do look cool.

Kelly PT: I know right?

Millie: Where did you get the work done? I'm thinking about a tattoo myself.

(It's at this moment when Bridon approaches the four girls)

Bridon: Howdy, ladies.

Millie: Oh hi, Bridon. What brings you by?

Bridon: Nothing much. I hear you girls prattling on about tattoos.

Bridgette: Yeah, PT has some pretty nice looking tattoos on her back. Want to take a look.

Bridon: (Takes a glance over at Kelly's back) Those look awesome on you, PT! Did you get them over at Tess' Ink Factory?

Kelly PT: How'd you know?

Bridon: I hear they do some awesome work. They even got 4.5/5 stars on Yelp.

Kelly PT: They're deserving of that score. Anyway, let's cut the shit. What are you doing here?

Bridon: Well, it is lunch hour for a lot of people. (Blushes nervously) I wanted to know if you wanted to go get some gyros…or fish and chips…or whatever your taste buds are in the mood for. I'm buying.

Kelly PT: So, you're interested in taking me out, eh? Well you might as well give up now because you're barking up the wrong tree, kiddo.

Bebe: PT, right now opportunity is knocking. I'd answer the call if I were you.

Kelly PT: Well I'm just not interested at the moment.

Millie: But you haven't been with a boy in eight years. Too long if you ask me.

Kelly PT: Please, if a guy wants to take me somewhere, he's out for one thing and one thing only. (Turns to Bridon) You'd have to get up pretty early in the morning to get me in bed.

Bridon: PT, if the reason you're hesitant is because of what happened between you and this Justin character…it was just one guy. Don't let what one person did change your outlook on an entire gender.

Kelly PT: (Ties her top back up and stands up) Justin may have been one guy, but all men are the same deep down inside. They're just more discrete at hiding their deviance is all. That's why if I ever share a bond with any sort of man, I want it to solely be platonic.

Bridon: Well we can just hang out as friends?

Kelly PT: (Thinks for a moment) No…I just….I can't.

(Bridgette, Bebe, and Millie look at PT with a bit of disappointment)

Bridon: Alright. If that's what you want. But I know you'll come around eventually, Kelly. And when you do, I'll be waiting with open arms. Peace. (He leaves)

Bridgette: Kel, I know this isn't my place, but it wouldn't kill you to give dating a try again.

Kelly PT: No! Not after…him!

Millie: Kelly, like Bridon said Justin was just one guy. One guy out of the whole lot there are in the world.

Kelly PT: I don't care. I'm not getting my heart broken again!

Bebe: (Ties her top back up and stands up) Kells, getting your heart broken is a part of life, but it gets better. Look at Millie and me. Justin broke our hearts but we turned out fine.

Kelly PT: Woopty-fuckin'-doo. Congratulations, your hearts as well as Red's, Annie's, and everyone else's hearts were put back together and you're all able to love again. But my heart is still in a state of heavy disrepair. (Scoffs) I don't even think my "healing process" began.

Bridgette: But Kelly, don't you ever wonder what life would be like if you had that special someone in your life. (Stares off in the direction Bridon ran off in) From the looks of things, Bridon sounded like he was very interested in you.

Kelly PT: He wasn't interested in me, he had ulterior motives. Besides isn't his father, Andre Gueermo, an abusive father/husband. Abuse is passed down from each generation, and I'd say turning down Bridon's advances means I dodged a bullet.

Bebe: Bridon's dad may be abusive, but that doesn't mean Bridon himself is abusive. I heard that he treated his recent ex-girlfriend very sweetly while they were dating, and he respected her wishes when _she_ broke up with him.

Kelly PT: Yeah? Why did they break up? My guess is because Bridon wanted to get some, but she was against the idea and he didn't want to be with a "good girl." Fuckin' pig!

Millie: That's not true. She broke up with Bridon because she moved to Charleston, SC with her family and she thought a long distance relationship would be hard. You know, PT, not every man is about sex. Some men usually enter the scene to fix a broken heart, and I'd say that's what Bridon wanted to do for you.

Kelly PT: He would've only made things worse for me.

Bridgette: You don't know that for a fact.

Bebe: Kelly, do you remember when Mr. Slave told us there was more to life than partying? Well, I've been pondering what he meant. So, I asked many different people what they think the meaning of life is. You know what most of them said?

Kelly PT: No, but you're probably going to tell me anyway.

Bebe: They said that the meaning of life is falling in love. Just finding that missing piece of their puzzle and getting married, creating children, and experiencing all of life's ups and downs with the person that's considered their soul mate. I can safely say that since I started dating Cody, I now fully understand what everyone was prattling on about. Don't you want share your life with someone that you really care about?

Kelly PT: (Just turns around and begins to walk away) This conversation is over. I don't want to discuss about love anymore.

Bebe: But, Kelly, wait! (Kelly PT just walks on as the other three girls stare after her)

Bridgette: Poor Kelly. (Bebe and Millie face her) What Justin tried to do was heinous, but I don't think it's any reason to give up on love entirely. I just wish we could make her see clearly again.

Millie: To be honest, another reason why PT is acting the way she is could be narrowed down to the fact that Justin was the first time _any_ boy paid her any mind. Before Justin, Bebe dated Clyde for a while, and I had a thing for Brimmy. Bebe and I probably bounced back quicker than PT because we had past experiences with other boys, and we've come to the conclusion that not all boys are bad because we think of the good times we had with our respective exes. PT on the other hand has had no experience. So now because of Justin…she's all kinds of screwed up.

Bebe: Sometimes I worry she'll never bounce back.

Bridgette: Well, God has a plan for all of us. I'm sure whatever happens will work out well for her in the end. (The three girls look in the direction Kelly took off in)

Millie: I sure hope so, Bridge. I sure hope so.

(Let's leave this depressing scene to cut back to the adults, Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto. The six are floating on their raft, sleeping like a bunch of logs. What could be bad about this…they drifted out to sea and now they're in the middle of scenic nowhere. Jeffrey wakes up calmly and looks around. He sees that there is no land in sight and he begins to panic. The camera zooms out to show how far they drifted out and he screams)

Jeffrey: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(The scream was enough to wake the rest of his party up)

Alex Slave: Jesus, Jeff, what is your problem?

Leon: (Looks around) Uh, where the fuck's the beach?! This isn't funny, where's the beach?

Sophocles: (Looks around calmly) Huh? It appears we drifted out to sea, most likely due to a riptide.

Doug: How could you be so calm?! We're in the middle of the goddamn ocean!

Sophocles: I'm simply not letting the stresses of life get to me. I'm sure things will work out in the end for us.

Jeffrey: Well we can't stay lost at sea forever. What are we going to do?

Mephesto: Did anybody bring their cell phones?

Alex Slave: (Shakes his head)

Jeffrey: I left mine back at the hotel room.

Doug: Me too, mainly because I didn't plan on going on some high seas adventure.

Leon: Don't worry, dudes, your boy Leon has you covered! (Takes his cell phone from the pocket of his swim trunks and sees that he has limited battery life) I don't have a lot of battery life left, so I have to make this next call count.

Jeffrey: Call Bebe and her friends!

Doug: No, call 911!

Leon: Sssshhhh! It's ringing! (The other end picks up) Yeah hello, is this Mao's Kitchen? I'd like to place an order for delivery!

Doug: WHAT!?

Leon: Yeah, I'd like six egg rolls, six fortune cookies…

Mephesto: Leon, this is serious!

Leon:…The five quarts of pork fried rice and five quarts of beef lo mein.

Alex Slave: Jesus Christ, Leon, call for help! You can eat later!

Leon:…And you know what, throw in some containers of egg foo young, three dozen dumplings, and about a gallon of won ton soup.

Doug: LEON!

Leon:…We're on the raft floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Probably the only one for miles. You can't miss it. I'm sure you can rent a boat or so…(Battery life died)

Jeffrey: What happened?

Leon: (Looks at his phone) My phone died. There's no battery life left.

Doug: Great! Fucking wonderful, Leon! You wasted our one phone call ordering Chinese Food!

Leon: It's not my fault that I'm hungry. And besides, when the delivery guy rends a boat, he'll find us.

Doug: I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna freaking kill him! (Turns to Jeffrey and Mr. Slave) Hold me back! (Lunges at Leon, but Jeffrey and Mr. Slave hold him back like he said)

Sophocles: (Still calm) I don't why you gentlemen are being so dramatic. We'll be fine. Though I do have to agree with Doug on one thing. It was dumb of you to call for Chinese food. We have all the food we need with the rum ham. (He looks around the raft for the rum ham) Uh…where's the rum ham.

Mephesto: What do you mean "where's the rum ham?!" Don't tell us you lost it!

Alex Slave: Uh, guys, look. (Points out into the ocean to reveal the rum ham just floating there. A lone seagull lands on it and starts pecking at it)

Sophocles: (Shrieks) NO! RUM HAM! I'm coming to save you, just hang on! (Tries to jump off the raft to save the ham)

Jeffrey: (Holds Sophocles back) No, Sophocles! Stay on the raft! It's not safe!

Sophocles: But rum ham! (The rum ham floats off with the sea gull looking at the six adults in confusion) I'm sorry rum ham! I'm sorry!

(We cut back to another part of the beach where Sam, Wendy, Kevin, Ursula, and Red are just hanging out on beach blankets, watching Kurt and Annie have fun in the ocean by swimming and collecting seashells)

Kevin: Annie and Kurt sure do look happy together.

Wendy: They look like they're having a great time together.

Red: Kurt never strikes me as the type of guy to collect sea shells. I always pictured him as more of a surfer boy.

Sam: That's Kurt for you. He may look all tough and rugged, but when it comes down to it, he's just a big goofball and a true kid at heart.

Wendy: Annie is the same way as well. Naïve, goofy, sweet, kind of childish, but she's serious when she needs to be.

Ursula: That goes double for Kurt. When the chips are down, our boy is always ready to kick some major butt.

Sam: Kurt is never afraid to be honest and stick up for what's right. I think he's good for Annie, just as she's good for him.

Kevin: I wouldn't be surprised if those two get hitched someday.

Sam: Homeboy better make me best man if they do.

Red: And if I'm not Annie's maid of honor, she just lost a best friend.

Ursula: Wow, you can be petty if you want to.

Red: (Chuckles) Just kidding. Can you imagine if I was like that?

Cody: (Enters the scene) Hello everybody.

Sam: Hey, Cody, haven't seen you much today. Are you enjoying yourself?

Cody: Very much so, old sport. But listen, I come asking for some advice on something.

Kevin: Sure, buddy, shoot.

Cody: How do I make a romantic rendezvous/interrogation for Bebe's and my eight year anniversary?

Ursula: I understand the romantic rendezvous part, but what's with the interrogation?

Cody: I want to ask Bebe about this, "Cutest Boy List" she made way back when.

Wendy: So, you finally found out about that, eh?

Sam: What?

Ursula: Yeah, I'm lost.

Red: Well back in 2015, long before Sam or you came onto the scene, we formulated a list of the cutest boys in school. We got Clyde on the top so we could get free shoes. It was a plan that backfired horribly, and resulted in just about every girl sans for Wendy getting grounded for about a week. In Bebe's case, she was arrested, but her parents bailed her out a few hours later, and they grounded her for about a month.

Cody: Arrested?! (Covers his face) I'm dating an ex-con. Why wouldn't Bebe tell me this? I tell her everything about my life and she can't tell me about this?

Wendy: My guess is that she's afraid you'd dump her if you ever found out, thinking that she hasn't changed since that day. But trust us, Cody, she is a changed person. She's a lot nicer, and she hasn't done anything that malicious in a long time.

Cody: But what if she is still a heartless girl, and this nice girl persona is just a front? What if she's using me?

Sam: Cody, listen, you ever hear the old saying "the eyes are a window to the soul?"

Cody: Yes.

Sam: Well, when you see Bebe later, just look her in those eyes of hers. I think you'll be able to tell if she genuinely loves you just by the look in her eyes.

Wendy: Another tip, as a best friend of Bebe since diapers, pay attention to how many times she blinks. She has a tic where if she lies, she blinks twice, so be on the lookout for that.

Cody: Thanks for the tip. Now, onto the romantic rendezvous. If the interrogation goes well…well let's just say I hope the ocean waves are loud enough to drown out any love cries.

Kevin: Oh I know what you're going after. You want to give Bebe some fresh sausage, don't you?

Cody: Well, Bebe and I have been talking about it since my family reunion. We've been dating for eight years, so sex would be the next logical step. That's why I've been looking for the likes of Red, Ursula, Annie, and Kurt. Speaking of which, can you guys call them over here?

Red: Hey, Ann, Kurt, get your asses over here! (The couples does as they're told)

Kurt: What's up, Red?

Red: Cody wants to speak with us about…"It"

Annie: What's it? (Kurt whispers in her ear) Oh, "it"! Well why didn't you just say so?

Cody: I figured since Red and Ursula, and Kurt and Annie did it already, they can give me some pointers (The two couples get shocked at his accusation).

Kurt: Now, Cody, what makes you think we've done it before?

Cody: Come on, isn't it obvious? Ursula and Red aren't shy about it, they talk about their little "finger exercises" on a daily basis, and when Annie posts your sessions on Facebook. (Kurt gasps at that) You guys have done it three times: Once last New Year's, another time last Valentine's Day, and the most recent time being Easter.

Kurt: (Shocked) A-Ann…why would post private stuff like that on Facebook? What sane person would do that?

Annie: Hey, I just want to let everybody know what's going on in Annie's world.

Kurt: (Stutters over his words in confusion and shock before he inhales and says…) Okay.

Annie: (Gets puppy dog eyes) Gosh, baby, I never knew this would upset you. I'm so sorry.

Kurt: (Warms up) Aww, I can't stay mad at you, babe. (Hugs her) I'm sorry I lost my cool there.

Annie: No worries, babe. Apology accepted. (Looks at her friends, smirks, and mouths out to them…) Puppy dog eyes are his weakness (Releases the hug).

Red: Anyway, Cody, we'd be more than glad to give you some pointers. First off, make sure she actually _wants_ this. You might be ready, but she may not.

Cody: Well like I said, we have been talking about it, and she sounded pretty excited.

Red: Even still, she may get second thoughts. Just remember no means no! Furthermore, wear protection, that should go without saying.

Sam: Well Bebe is covered. She took a birth control pill on the bus.

Red: That don't mean shit if Cody's dog isn't tied down. So, Cody, please do yourself a favor and wear a condom. It'll save you a lot more trouble in the long run.

Ursula: Next tip: Pay attention to Bebe's body language and the sounds she makes. Eye contact is very important in things like this. If her eyes are wandering, she's losing interest. Overall, make sure her body is relaxed and not tensed up. As far as the sounds she makes, listen to how long she draws out her moans, and how high/low pitched it is. Above all else though, listen to her breathing. If it sounds shaky, ask her if everything is okay.

Cody: Okay.

Ursula: One more thing, if she says "don't stop," it means don't stop whatever you're doing.

Red: Just remember there's a difference between, "don't stop" and "don't comma stop." Pay attention to that as well.

Kurt: To show Bebe a really good time, I recommend going after the erogenous zones: Ears, lips, neck, boobs, butt, inner thighs, and of course her honey pot. Aim for any of these areas during foreplay and she will lose herself in lust. Again, though, pay attention to her body language to see if she enjoys where you touch her.

Annie: Finally, and this is a big one…make sure you two have a safety word.

Cody: Whoa! Annie! Bebe and I aren't into that sort of thing! If you are, more power to you, we just don't go that way.

Kurt: No, it's not what you think.

Annie: Yeah, the way Kurt and I use a safety word is if either of us are close to "completion," and we don't want the night to end. So we break so we can change positions or get a drink.

Sam: How…delightfully odd.

Cody: I'll keep the use of a safe word in mind. Other than that, I think I get it. Body language, consent, erogenous zones, and…not that I think I'll need it a safety word.

Kevin: Now all that's left is a nice private place for you two to get down and dirty. And since we're on a beach, I think I know just the place. Follow me everybody.

(Cut to the boardwalk…more specifically, _under_ the boardwalk. Kevin leads his seven friends underneath and he shows them around)

Annie: So, Kev, what is this place anyway?

Kevin: Welcome to the area underneath the boardwalk.

Cody: Oh, like that Drifters song?

Kevin: Exactly. Under here nobody can see you and your lucky lady go at is like rabbits.

Wendy: You may also want to be careful though. A lot of criminal activity goes on under, making it a perfect hideaway for some tomfoolery. Especially if you plan on coming here at night.

Kevin: Yeah I do recommend you come here during the day. But it doesn't change the fact that a lot of love goes on down here. Many a first kiss stolen underneath this magical place, and I feel glad to share this with you, my closest friends.

(As the group of eight walk along, they end up coming across a disgusting sight…a bunch of homeless people having an orgy)

Kurt: Oh my god!

Homelss Man: Howdy…you kids like what you see?

Sam: RUN AWAY! (The eight teens run out of the area and get back from beneath the boardwalk, regrouping at a volleyball court)

Red: Kevin, what the fuck was that?!

Kevin: A bunch of homeless people banging each other!

Cody: Well we saw that! Is that the type of romantic, magical stuff you were talking about? Well that's not magical! That's nightmarish. I will never be able to un-see those horrors.

Kevin: There are other kinds of romances that happen under the boardwalk, dude.

Cody: Well whatever the hell that was, I am now turned off from whatever is beneath the boardwalk.

Sam: Well, Cody, if the land beneath the boardwalk doesn't tickle your fancy, and I don't blame you that place gave me the creeps, then it looks like you need to find a private place on the beach. I think I saw a place just south of here. An area of the beach hidden by some rocks. I don't think anyone is adventurous enough to head out over there.

Cody: At this point, any place has got to better than that homeless brothel.

Sam: Okay, let's go, follow me. (The group of seven follow Sam to the desired location)

(Cut to Stan and Heidi walking to Heidi's Uncle Ed's restaurant. Stan is now wearing a white t-shirt, and Heidi is wearing some blue jean pants to enforce the "no shirt, no shoes" rule. Stan and Heidi also have bags that contain their superhero uniforms and weapons)

Stan: How much farther until your uncle's restaurant, Heidi. I don't think I can wait much longer.

Heidi: It's coming up, Stan, just be patient.

Stan: (Sees a buttercup flower growing from the ground next to them. He plucks it and gives it to Heidi) For you, Heidi.

Heidi: Aw thank you Stan. You're so sweet. (Puts the flower behind her right ear)

Stan: (Blushes) Yellow is your better color. I'm not even going to lie.

Heidi: (Giggles)

Stan: Hey, Heidi, as long as we're alone, there's something I'd like to tell you. (Heidi nods) Heidi…w-would you like to be my… (Gets cut off by the sound of bike bell. It's Sally Turner, and she's speeding down the sidewalk, unable to control her bike)

 **(Sally has her hair tied in a ponytail, and she's wearing a dark blue tank top, some black jeans, and some olive green shoes)**

Sally: Look out! Coming through! (Crashes into Stan, and the two go flying)

Heidi: (Runs to the two of them) Oh my gosh, are you two okay?!

Stan: (Gets up and helps Sally up) Yeah, I'm fine. Sally, why did you run into me like that for?

Sally: I'm sorry, Stan. I didn't mean to, I swear. (Walks up to her bike and picks it up) I guess that shows you how often I ride a bike. (Soon Nichole, Brimmy, and the C cap kid known as Chadwick, come up to the scene on their bikes)

 **(Chadwick is wearing his usual red C cap over his light brown hair. He has eyeglasses over his brown eyes, and is wearing a long sleeve sky blue button up shirt that's open to show a red undershirt, white pants, and brown shoes)**

 **(Brimmy is wearing a yellow beanie, a dark blue sweat jacket open to show a black shirt with a picture of a green pot leaf, olive green shorts, and black shoes)**

Brimmy: Whoa, dude, that was a wicked wipeout!

Sally: It wouldn't have been wicked had I broke a bone, you wacky burnout!

Chadwick: Yeah, dude, Sally or Stan could've gotten seriously injured. But all you care about is how "wicked" and "gnarly" the wipeout was.

Brimmy: I can't help it if I love hilarious crash scenes. It's why the climax to the Blues Brothers movie is one of my favorite movie climaxes of all time.

Nichole: There is something seriously wrong with you, Brim. (Turns to Heidi and Stan) Anyway, where are you two off to?

Heidi: Stan and I are off to my uncle's restaurant if you guys want to tag along?

Brimmy: Oh hell yeah! I got a serious case of the munchies, and the only prescription is some hot wings!

Nichole: Can your uncle cook me a Panini, Heidi?

Heidi: Throw in another dollar and fifty cents and he'll serve that Panini with a side of cheese fries.

Nichole: I'm in!

Heidi: Okay everybody, follow me for some good eats!

(The group of six head towards Heidi's uncle's restaurant, and after another mile or so, they finally reach it: Big Ed's Bar and Grill. The outside is blue with black shingled roof and a white door. The restaurant's sign is above the door. Stan opens the door for everybody, and they enter. The inside of the restaurant has dark green walls with many pictures of beach scenery on them. There are plenty of tables and booths for patrons to sit in, and a bar with twelve seats. Behind the bar we see Ed Turner polishing a beer mug. Behind him are shelves full of alcoholic beverages and a door that leads to the kitchen)

 **(Ed Turner appears to be in his mid-40s, and he's bald with a blonde mustache. He's wearing a plaid red and yellow short sleeved button up shirt, brown pants, and black shoes)**

Heidi: Uncle Ed, your favorite niece is here!

Ed: (Turns his attention to his niece and her friends) Hey, Heidi! (Comes out from behind the bar to give Heidi a hug) Your dad told me you'd be coming around here. How've you been, I haven't seen you since your Sweet 16 party.

Heidi: I've been doing good. I don't know if you've heard but I've been kicking ass and taking names as the Fatal Feline.

Ed: I heard. (Releases the hug) You're really doing the Turner family proud. (Looks at Heidi's group of friends) These must be your friends.

Heidi: Yeah. Uncle Ed, I'd like you to meet Nichole, Chadwick, Brimmy, Sally, and Stan.

Ed: Nice to meet you all. I imagine the six of you must be very hungry, especially if you came all the way from South Park.

Brimmy: Oh hell yeah, buddy, wing me!

Nichole: Brimmy, mind your manners!

Ed: (Chuckles) Don't worry about it. Why don't you kids find a seat and place your orders. A server will be around to ask what you'd like to drink.

Heidi: Thanks, uncle (The six friends go over to a table in the corner of the dining hall, get their drink orders, and some time later, Ed comes to the table with their food).

Ed: Here we are: A Roast Beef Panini with some cheese fries and gravy for dipping (Places the plate in front of Nichole). An order of nuclear hot wings with some fries, celery sticks, and blue cheese (Places the plate in front of Brimmy, whose mouth begins to water). Two chicken club sandwiches with some potato chips and dill pickles. (Places the plates in front of Chadwick and Sally). One bacon cheeseburger with sweet potato fries and a side of coleslaw (Places the plate in front of Stan) And a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with fries. (Places the plate in front of Heidi)

Heidi: You've outdone yourself uncle.

Sally: I'll say, this looks really good.

Ed: Go on, dig in. (The six teens do so, and Ed is happy to see them enjoy it)

Heidi: So, Stan?

Stan: Hmm?

Heidi: Earlier you said you wanted to tell me something. What was it?

Stan: Uh…nothing, it's stupid.

Heidi: Alright.

Ed: (Whispers in Heidi's ear) Heidi, I think that boy likes you.

Heidi: You think so?

Ed: I've seen people like him before. Mainly because I was once in his shoes. Having eyes on a beautiful girl and never having the gumption to ask her out. Do you feel the same way about him?

Heidi: A little bit. I have known Stan since we were kids…and he is kind of cute. Should I ask him how he feels?

Ed: Well, the normal way of doing things would be to have Stan ask you out, and then take it from there.

Heidi: But what if he doesn't ask me out?

Ed: Give him time, I'm sure he'll come around.

Heidi: (Looks at Stan with a slight smirk) Yeah…I think he will.

(We cut to the boardwalk, where Butters and his new friend Dan are running around having a good time. Butters just finished off his funnel cake)

Butters: Gosh, how good is funnel cake?

Dan: The best. So, you want to hit some rides?

Butters: Immediately after we ate? You sure that's a good idea?

Dan: I never said I made good decisions.

Butters: Well, okay.

Dan: Terrific. Pick a ride, any ride.

Butters: (Looks around the boardwalk and sees a slingshot ride) Let's ride this one!

Dan: (Gets nervous) Oh, the slingshot ride? You sure you want to ride that one? I'm not too sure about it.

Butters: Have you ever given it a try?

Dan: No.

Butters: Well me neither, but you know what they say, don't knock it until you've tried it. So I say we give it a try.

Dan: Well, if you insist.

(Butters and Dan get in line for the slingshot ride, and after a five minute wait, they're next. The operator straps the two into the ride)

Dan: I hope this ride isn't as crazy as those videos on the internet.

Butters: What do you mean?

Dan: I hear there are people who legit pass out on this ride.

Butters: I'm sure it's all hype. I seriously doubt anyone passes out on this…(Gets cut off by the ride starting. The duo go flying into the air, their capsule tumbling) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dan: WOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS SO COOL!

Butters: AAAAAAHHHH! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS! I DIDN'T SIGN…(He passes out. For the rest of the ride, Dan had a blast while Butters remained unconscious until the ride finally ended. The duo leave the catapult ride)

Dan: Whoa, Butters, you were right. That ride was dynamite.

Butters: (Trying to act cool) Eh, it was alright. I've been on scarier rides.

Dan: (Deadpan) You passed out didn't you.

Butters: (Blunt) Yup…the whole ride. (Suddenly he sees Jimmy Valmer and the O'Connor sisters, Jessie and Kal, carrying a bunch of snacks to an unknown location)

 **(The eldest of the O'Connor sisters, Jessie, cut her blonde hair so it's now in a bob cut form. She's wearing a pink sundress with a denim jacket and brown sandals)**

 **(The youngest of the O'Connor sisters, Kal, has her curly brown hair tied in a bun. She's wearing eye glasses over her olive eyes. She's wearing an orange sweater, green miniskirt, black socks that go to her knee and dark blue shoes)**

Butters: Jimmy, Jessie, Kal! Hey! (The three teens turn to face him and Dan)

Jimmy: Oh hey, B-B-Butters! Who's your friend?

Butters: This is my new friend Dan.

Dan: 'Sup.

Kal: Nice to meet you, Dan.

Dan: Likewise.

Kal: Well, I'm Kal (Points at Jessie) This is my stepsister, Jessie. (Points at Jimmy) And this is our friend Jimmy.

Butters: These are some of my friends from South Park. I don't know if I told you already, but I'm here on class trip.

Dan: Cool. (Looks back at the three teens that stand before them) So, where are you all going with those snacks?

Jessie: Wolf Jaws is about to perform on at the beach. So we want to make sure we get all of the snacks we need for the show.

Dan: Wolf Jaws? I've never heard of that band.

Jimmy: That's because they're a band formed by more of our classmates. Say D-Dan, you're welcome to come at watch the p-p-per-performance if you'd like.

Dan: I'd like that. Lead the way. (Jimmy, Kal, and Jessie lead the way as Butters and Dan follow) So, who is this band made up of?

Kal: There's lead vocalist Jason White, bass player Esther Green, electric guitarist Bridon Gueermo, and last but not least, drummer Bradley Biggle, who just so happens to be both mine and Jess' boyfriend.

Dan: You two don't mind sharing a boy?

Jessie: Not at all. We've got a whole schedule worked out to even things out. Bradley and I hang out for three days, and Kal hangs out with him for another three.

Kal: Don't forget about alternating Sundays.

Dan: Well as long as you two know what you're doing.

Butters: They do. (Under his breath) That Bradley sure is a lucky ducky to have two girls on his arm. Things are going to be fun for him on prom night.

(Cut to the Boardwalk Skate Park where Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Lola, and their new friends are just hanging out. Ace, Inkwell, Blaze, and Carmel are doing tricks for their new friends and they are very impressed by it all)

Cartman: Those are some sweet moves, dudes.

Ace: Thanks, brah! We've been skating this beach since we were 9 years old. We've had loads of experience on these streets and on this here skate park.

Kyle: (Looks at Blaze) Hey, Blaze, I don't mean to be rude when I ask this…but where did you get those burns on your right arm.

Inkwell: I wouldn't waste my time asking him that, kiddo. He changes his story up every time.

(Flashback to these moments)

 _(Moment #1)_

 _Blaze: Some kitchen grease got splashed on my arm while I was trying to cook some chicken._

 _(Moment #2)_

 _Blaze: It got burned while I was trying to save some puppies from a burning factory._

 _(Moment #3)_

 _Blaze: Pyrotechnic trick gone wrong_

 _(Moment #4)_

 _Blaze: It's just a birth mark…that's it…a large, noticeable, and somewhat painful, birth mark._

(End flashbacks)

Inkwell: Just when you think he's told you the real story, he goes an tells somebody else something different.

Blaze: What can I say? I'm a man of mystery.

Kyle: (Confused) I see…(In his mind) _I bet he got that burn from something humiliating and that big lummox too embarrassed to admit it._

Blaze: (In his mind) _Man, I hope that dude doesn't find out that I got this burn from sleeping with a lit cigarette in my mouth that fell on my blanket which resulted in this hideous burn. I'll never be able to live that humiliation down._

(Beat)

Blaze: Nice weather today, eh, dude?

Kyle: Pretty good.

(In another part of the skate park, Kenny, Lola, and Carmel are just hanging out and talking)

Kenny: Hey, can I ask you girls something? What would you do if you received a note from a secret admirer?

Lola: (Acts bashful) I-I really don't know.

Carmel: Well obviously I'd do some fishing.

Kenny: How would that help me find the writer of the note?

Carmel: I don't mean that kind of fishing, noodle brain. I mean, go and ask an assortment of girls to see if they wrote the letter.

Kenny: I've been doing that. I even enlisted the help of my friend Ursula. She said she'd compare handwriting with the other girls in our grade level, and we'll try and sniff out the writer that way.

Carmel: Smart move, man.

Kenny: Thanks. The only question remaining is what I'll do when I find out who the secret admirer is. What will she, or maybe even he look like. Will he/she be nice? Does he/she know that I'm poor?

Carmel: Look Ken, looks don't mean jack shit when love is involved. If they have inner beauty, as in kindness, good morals, and a keen wit that's all that really matters. For a while I dated a fat dude, but only because he was the most pure soul I've ever met. The only reason we broke up was because his parents didn't like the fact that their son was dating a women of my ethnicity, and they threatened to disown him if we didn't call it off.

Lola: So because of your race, you were denied a shot at happiness. That's so sad.

Carmel: Eh, that's life. Anyway, Ken, as far as you being poor, I don't think your admirer will care where you come from as long as you treat him/her with the love and respect he/she deserves. I can tell just by looking at you that you have a kind and caring personality. It also helps that you have the face of an Adonis.

Kenny: (Blushes) Y-You're not just saying that are you?

Carmel: No way, dude. (Lola looks a bit annoyed by Carmel's compliments)

Kenny: Well…usually I cover my face with a hood so nobody really compliments me like that. Thank you.

Carmel: I don't know why you cover yourself up. Girls will never notice you if you keep a handsome work of art like your face a secret. Open up a little bit. Trust me the ladies will come to you in flocks.

Kenny: Thanks Carmel.

Carmel: Please, call me Janice.

Kenny: Janice? That's a cute name.

Carmel: Thanks, Ken. (Lola gets more jealous). Bring it in, you big lug. (She hugs Kenny warmly and after five seconds, Lola gets in between them)

Lola: Okay, break it up you two!

Kenny: Lola, what's wrong?

Lola: (Inhales deeply and calms down) Nothing…just not too fond of PDA (Blushes embarrassingly as Kenny and Carmel look at her awkwardly).

(We cut back to the ocean, where the six adult members of the South Park Saints are still floating in the middle of nowhere. Sophocles is giving the other five adults the Kubrick Stare, holding the knife meant for the rum ham)

Jeffrey: Oh…I'm so hungry…and thirsty.

Leon: Where the hell is that delivery boy with our Chinese food? I mean, it shouldn't be that hard to find a boat to drive out here to deliver some food.

Doug: Would you forget the stupid Chinese food?! It's not coming, it's never going to come, and I can't believe you wasted our one and only phone call ordering goddamn Chinese food!

Mr. Alex Slave: Jesus, Doug, calm down! Leon just made one mistake.

Doug: One mistake that could very well be the nail that seals our coffins!

Jeffrey: I hate to interrupt, but I think it's important that we find some food before we starve.

Doug: Well where are we going to find food here, Jeff? It's not like a convenience store is going to come floating into view with all the food we could ever eat!

Mephesto: (Clears throat) Gentlemen, if I may, the sea is home to many creatures big and small. We could fish one out and feast on that. I know it's not the smartest idea to eat raw fish, but the Japanese do it all the time so it must be safe.

Jeffrey: At this point I'm willing to eat anything to stay alive.

Leon: Alright, let's do it. I'll swim down there catch us some tuna! Or maybe a flounder…and some lobster or shrimp on the side!

Jeffrey: If you find shrimp, you'll be my personal hero, Leon.

Leon: Alright now! Let's go catch some fish! (Turns to Sophocles) Yo, doc, give me that knife.

Sophocles: (Still glaring at them angrily) I don't think that's gonna happen, Leon.

Mr. Alex Slave: Uh, Sophocles, you feeling okay?

Sophocles: I just don't feel comfortable with either of you getting possession of this knife. If I'm going to stay alive, I think I'd rather be the one with the knife.

Mephesto: What do you mean if _you're_ going to stay alive?

Doug: I hope I'm wrong…but are you planning on killing and eating us, Sophocles.

Sophocles: I didn't say that. But when you're put in situations like this, you've got to do what you can to stay alive…even if you're not proud of it. Do you understand…my little rum hams?

Jeffrey: Did he just call us "his little rum hams!"

Sophocles: (Giggles maniacally) What? No, why would I do that?

Doug: Damn, he's off his rocker! The lack of food and being out in the heat must've caused him to go delirious.

Mr. Alex Slave: Sophocles, let's calm down before we do something we're going to regret. It's too soon to resort to cannibalism!

Sophocles: Tell that to the rum ham!

Leon: Doc, calm down, please!

Sophocles: (Giggling maniacally) That rum ham was my best friends and he…he…HE'S GONE! THE ONE THAT MATTERED, THE RUM HAM, IT'S GONE!

Jeffrey: Stop talking about that fucking rum ham!

Sophocles: (Raises his knife, gets a slasher smile, and gets ready to swing it at Mr. Slave) It should've been you!

Mr. Alex Slave: (Screams)

Doug: Sophocles, stop! (He punches Sophocles in the face, causing him to let go of the knife. The knife does a few flips in the air before landing pointy end into the raft. The raft begins to deflate)

Sophocles: (Snaps out of his delirium) Wha…What happened?

Leon: You went insane and now we're all going to die. Look! (Points at the knife in the raft)

Sophocles: Oh, that's not good.

Doug: Oh really? We're going to drown out here! Things cannot get any worse!

Jeffrey: (Sees something in the distance) Hey, guys, you might want to see this. (The six adults are looking at what appears to be an armada of pirate ships sailing towards them) It looks like an armada of ships!

Mephesto: You mean we're saved?!

Jeffrey: Looks like it!

(The six adults shout out for help, and the leading pirate ship lowers a rope. The six adults climb it with whatever strength they have left, and get onboard. They look around to see hoards of crewmates glaring at them, swords and guns at the ready. It's at this moment when the captain shows up: Alejandro Cervantes!)

Cervantes: Aye? What have we here?

Crewmate #1: We found 'em drifting in the sea, me captain!

Crewmate #2: What should we do with 'em? Use them as blood samples for Damien?

Cervantes: Not so fast! These scurvy dogs look familiar…

Crewmate #3: Sir, methinks they be members of them South Park Saints. (Points at Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, and Mr. Slave) Cerulean Viper, Beo-Wolf, Sgt. Stevens, and Glamorous Gardener be those four. (Points at Sophocles and Mephesto) But I don't know who they be?

Doug: Wait…Damien…blood samples…oh no!

Cervantes: (Chuckles evilly) Surprise! I, Captain Alejandro Cervantes, be the last advocate ye be seeking. Tell me, where be the rest of your crew?

Leon: We'll never tell you!

Cervantes: I don't need ye to tell me. (Shouts up to the crow's nest) Where's the nearest area of land?

Crewmate #4: (Looks through his telescope and sees Venice Beach not far from where they are) I see land just west of here! It's the same place I saw last night!

Cervantes: I'm willing to be these saints drifted from there. Methinks if we go to that beach, we'll find the rest of those scurvy dogs.

Crewmate #3: Sir, what do we do with these six here?

Cervantes: Send them to the brig for now. I'll figure out what we'll do to them in due time. In the meantime, full speed ahead westward! Let's flush those saints out!

(Cervantes grins evilly as his armada continues to sail towards Venice Beach. With six of the South Park saints in captivity, and the rest unaware of what's coming, it looks like our heroes' vacation is getting cut short)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **I'm going to be putting this fanfic on hold for right now, as I'm currently working on a separate project that'll kind of link in to this story. It will all make sense in due time.**


	25. Vacation of Devastation (Part 3)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 23: Vacation of Devastation (Part 3)

(Picking up where part 2 left off, Captain Alejandro Cervantes has Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto in captivity. The captain has found the location of Venice Beach, and now he and his armada are on their way to do some blood harvesting, and finish off the South Park Saints)

Crewmate #1: (Looks into the telescope from the crow's nest) Sir, we be landing on the beach in a little less than an hour!

Cervantes: Yar, har, har! Fantastic! My minions! Today, we do Satan and his dark enterprise proud! Today be the day we harvest the blood for Damien, and finally get rid of those scurvy Saints once and for all! When we go out there today, show no mercy! And when you see those saints, make them pay for being thorns in Satan's side! Let's show those landlubbers what we be made of!

(The crew mates cheer enthusiastically)

Cervantes: Those saints don't stand a ghost of a chance! Yar, har, har! (Cut to a shot that shows Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto locked up in a dungeon below deck) And I have feeling when they learn that their crewmates be rotting in the brig, their spirits shall weaken…and it be that moment when we snuff out their lives! I hope they're ready for our arrival. It'll be the last surprise they'll ever experience!

(Cut to a shot that shows a crowd gathered around the beach's stage, where Bridon, Jason, Bradley, and Esther are going to perform)

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Back on Venice Beach, everybody is gathered around the stage where Jason's band, Wolf Jaws, will perform again. All of our heroes, sans for Stan, Heidi, Nichole, Chadwick, Brimmy, Sally, Lola, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, and Kelly PT are waiting for the show to resume. They're all gathered near the front of the stage. Jimmy, Butters, Dan, Jessie, and Kal are sharing some of their snacks with our heroes, offering some chocolate to Terrance Mephesto)

Butters: Have some chocolate, Terrance. It's really good.

Terrance M: (Chuckles) No thanks. Do you know how bad that is for you?

Jimmy: C'mon Terrance, it wouldn't k-k-kill you to live for a change.

Terrance M: I don't know if you've noticed, but I like my face. And this close to prom, I'm not in any mood to get pimples or added weight. Ever heard of the saying "moment on the lips, a life time on the hips"?

Jessie: (Glares) Your face has never looked more punchable.

Dan: Is this guy always this big a buzz kill?

Kal: Kid, you don't know the half of it.

(In another part of the crowd, Bridgette, Clyde, and Kevin, are waiting for the show to begin)

Clyde: So, Bridge, what did you really think of me when I went bald for Halloween last year?

Bridgette: I honestly liked it. Some men look better bald, and that includes you.

Clyde: Do you really mean it?

Bridgette: (Folds her arms) Now why would I say something I don't mean. My parents raised an honest girl.

Cody: (Arrives to the scene) Hey guys!

Bridgette: Hey, Cody, where've you been?

Cody: Just looking for a nice place where Bebe and I can have a little alone time.

Clyde: Cool, where?

Cody: If I told you, then who's to say you won't go and tell Bebe and ruin my surprise? Speaking of which, where is the love of my life? (As if on cue, Bebe comes up to the group)

Bebe: Codykins, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. (Looks at the crowd around her) Wolf Jaws really attracted quite the crowd. You'd think these beach goers have never seen a band perform before.

Clyde: Well Jason and his friends worked really hard, and judging by this crowd I'd say their work really paid off.

Cody: Indeed. (Turns to Bebe) So…darling, we have some time before the show begins. Anything you want to tell me? Something you may have done in the past that you might be afraid to tell me?

Kevin: You're not exactly being subtle, dude.

Cody: Ssshhhhhhh! (Kevin shuts up)

Bebe: Well, promise you won't get mad but…a few weeks ago when you called and asked if I wanted to hang out with you and I said I had to help my parents with spring cleaning…I wasn't actually cleaning, I was binge watching the Harry Potter films with Butters, Wendy and Sam.

Kevin: That's lame. Harry Potter? I'd understand if it was Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, the entire MCU, but Harry Potter?

Cody: Kevin, don't interrupt.

Bebe: I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you, Cody.

Cody: Okay, is there anything else?

Bebe:…I ate too much at your 15th birthday and while no one was looking I threw up in your bathroom sink. (Hearing this causes Kevin and Clyde to laugh)

Cody: That was you!? I thought it was Uncle Sophocles 'cause he had a lot to drink that day.

Bebe: Yeah, that was me. Your cooks make the best food, I guess I couldn't help myself. Anyway, other than that I don't think I have anything left to confess (Blinks twice).

Cody: (To himself) She blinked twice! Wendy said that Bebe blinks twice whenever she lies. (Out loud) Are you sure?

Bebe: (To herself) Damn, I think he knows about the list incident! But how? Maybe if I continue to play it cool he'll leave me alone (Out loud) I promise you, baby, I have a clear conscience now (Blinks twice again)

Cody: Well, if you're sure, I'll leave you alone.

Clyde: Sshhhh…

Bridgette: Quiet, you two, I see Wolf Jaws on stage!

(Wolf Jaws is about to perform and the crowd goes wild)

Bradley: (Spinning his drumsticks) Aw yeah! I love the sound of a good crowd. Let's kick it!

Bridon: (Turns to Jason) Hey, Jason, would it be okay if I kick off this part of our beach side concert?

Jason: Go for it, kiddo.

Bridon: (Gets giddy as he steps to the front of the stage) This first song is an oldie but a goodie, and I want to dedicate this song to a special girl in the audience today. Not sure if she's here, but I hope she's listening. See, about eight years ago some jerk broke her heart real bad, and now she's struggling to love again. I wish to sing this song in hopes that I can get through to her, and tell her that not every guy is bad. So Kelly, PT, this one goes out to you.

(Bridon clears his throat as the band begins to play Smile a Little Smile for Me by the Flying Machine)

Bridon: (Singing) You really should accept, this time he's gone for good. He'll never come back now, even though he said he would. So, darling, dry your eyes. So many other guys would give the world, I'm sure, to wear the shoes he wore! Oh come on, smile a little smile for me, dear Kelly. Where's the use in cryin'? In a little while you'll see, sweet Kelly. You must keep on tryin'! I know that he hurt you bad. I know darling, don't be sad. Smile a little smile for me, dear Kelly, my Kelly.

(The crowd is loving every minute of the performance, especially our heroes. Some members of the audience even begin to break out lighters to wave in the air. Even Apollo can't help but crack a smile, temporarily breaking him out of his doldrums)

Millie: (Looking around) I can't believe PT is missing this!

Maria: I know, this has to be the most romantic gesture you can do for someone.

Craig: Wherever she is, I'm sure she can hear it. She just has to open her heart. And I'll tell you, if this doesn't do it nothing will.

(Meanwhile, on a separate part of the beach, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter is just looking at the concert from a distance, hearing Bridon's singing…she's not moved at all by it)

Kelly PT: Pfft, the fool actually thinks a song can win me over. (She looks over to the ocean and decides to take a swim)

(Kelly PT swam far away from the beach to ease her troubled mind, between the words her friends told her and Bridon's constant attempts at winning her over, she's not sure what to do. She's now just floating on her back looking up into the blue sky, letting the waves rock her)

Kelly PT: I don't know why I'm the object of that kid's affections. I already told him I'm not interested and I never will be interested in him or anyone else for that matter. Although, the likes of Bebe, Bridgette, Annie, and all those other girls look happy with their boyfriends, having nothing but great things to say about them, they probably just have a lot of luck, something I feel that I don't have. They went back down the path of love and came back fruitful. I worry that if I go back down I'll end up worse than I did before. I'm not taking that chance. What's so great about having a boyfriend anyway? They're just nothing but a burden in the long run, holding you back from your full potential. Without a boyfriend I'll probably get an awesome job, a bitchin' house in the country, and if I ever feel the need to get kids I'll just adopt. Not to mention in 20 years time, I'll probably have the most rockin' bod out of all the girls in my class.

(PT looks around and sighs)

Kelly PT: I'm pretty far out, and I'm not in the mood to become shark food. It's probably best if I head back.

(Just as Kelly is getting ready to turn around and swim back to shore she sees something in the distance: An armada of pirate ships! She looks confused until one of the ships spots her. When it arrives to her, a crewmate looks down from on deck and gives an evil grin, causing her to gulp in fear)

(Back on the beach, Wolf Jaws finished another song and the audience is going wild)

Esther: Do you hear the people's cheers! They absolutely love us!

Bradley: I know, it's awesome! (He suddenly hears whistling) I can even hear the crowd whistling! (The whistling gets louder causing the crowd to silence their cheers)

Jason: I don't think that's the crowd whistling…

 _ **BOOM!**_

(A cannonball had landed on the beach, hurting nobody, but scaring the daylights out of them, especially our heroes)

Tweek: WHAT _WAS_ THAT?! (Another whistling sound can be heard, and this time everybody sees the cannonball)

Sam: HIT THE DECK!

(Everyone dodges out of the way of the attack)

Ursula: Where's all this cannon fire coming from?!

Annie: Uh…guys, you might want to take a look at this. (Points out to the ocean and everyone sees an armada of pirate ships landing on the beach)

Sam: (Whines) Oh come on! Can we just have some time to ourselves and not have to worry about some random bullshit?!

Wendy: Doesn't look like it, hon. It looks like it's going to be one of those days.

(Hordes of crewmates leave the ships and take out their swords and guns)

Crewmate #2: Harvest the blood! For Captain Cervantes!

Crewmates: YEAH! (They open fire on innocent beach goers, taking blood from any of the corpses. The Saint members that are on the beach gather)

Maria: If they're killing these beach goers for their blood, I think it's a safe bet that they're working towards reviving Damien.

Token: Well then it looks like our only option is to take them out!

Sam: (Holds up a duffle bag) I've got our gear right here!

Red: Well what are we waiting for?!

Crewmate #3: Aye! I think that group be those South Park Saints the captain be prattling on about.

Butters: (Fakes a foreign accent) Oi! No way, da! We be exchange students from…Yugoslavia! We don't know a thing 'bout them Saints. We're not them, please don't think we are.

Crewmate #3: DIE! (They open fire on the 18 Saints, who run into some changing tents to gear up. They emerge ready to kick ass and take names)

Sam/Sir Justice: You all ready to rid this beach of these swashbuckling scumbags?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Dude, I'm always ready!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Let's show these assholes what happens when you mess with a hardworking Saint's vacation!

Kevin: Don't worry, Craig. (Injects himself with another sample of animal D.N.A and grows a rhinoceros horn on the crown of his head) I think they'll get the point!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Just a casual reminder, everyone, nobody can know about mine and Apollo's true identities.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yeah, because unlike you lot, we have legitimate superpowers, and if anyone knows who we are, we'll be labeled as freaks.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: At this point, I don't think they'll really care what you are as long as you save the day.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Still though.

Token/Tupper Wear: Uh, can we get back at the mission at hand, please?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Oh, of course. (Focus is brought back on the crewmates)

Crewmate #3: Yar, har, har! Ye be toast!

Millie: (Taking aim with her shotguns) Well come on then! (The 18 saints do battle with the hoards of Crewmates)

(Meanwhile, at the Boardwalk Skate Park, Ace, Carmel, Inkwell, and Blaze are doing tricks to further impress Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Lola)

Inkwell: Heh, we be ripping up this skate park, yo! And we have been for almost sixteen years.

Ace: We've got this summer's Beachside Skate-a-thon in the bag, dudes! (Suddenly, the 10 characters hear screaming)

Kyle: Uh, what's that?

Ace: It's the sound of thousands of adoring fangirls, rushing to see us and our mad skills yo! (The crowd runs past the skate park)

Lola: I guess not.

Kenny: It looks like they're running towards something else…

Kyle: Or running _away_ from something else.

Cartman: What do you mean?

Kyle: (Points at a brick wall to show four of Cervantes' Crewmates hopping over it)

Crewmate #4: Ah! What luck! Eight fresh blood samples for the captain!

Kyle: Blood? You think they work for the last advocate?

Kenny: It's a possibility.

Cartman: Should've guessed another dick of an advocate would be behind this bullshit.

Crewmate #4: Let's get them, mateys! Charge! (The crewmates charge at the eight, but Ace, Inkwell, Carmel, and Blaze stand in their way)

Ace: No way dude! Not gonna happen! (Takes out a pistol as does his other three buddies) Open fire, yo! (Ace and his buddies fire their pistols, and kill off the four crewmates)

Blaze: Ha, ha! That'll teach them!

Lola: (Amazed) Holy shit!

Carmel: We always carry out trusty pistols around in case shit hits the fan.

Kyle: Why?!

Ace: The four of us roll from the other side of the tracks, yo! Plenty of stray bullets to go around. We've gotten so used to carrying these pistols when we leave our homes we take them everywhere we go. It's become a force of habit.

Inkwell: It looks like our bad habits worked in our favor this time though.

Carmel: (Looks at Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny) Yo, if you boys are the South Park Saints, why don't you suit up and beat these buccaneer bastards?

Cartman: Because we don't have our costumes or weapons with us.

Kenny: Yeah, our friends have them. They should be back on the beach.

Ace: If that's the case then we've got to get you boys back to the beach so you can reunite with your friends teach these losers a lesson, yo!

Kenny: Enough talking, let's move! (The eight hurry back to the beach)

(Meanwhile at Heidi's Uncle Ed's restaurant, Heidi, Stan, Chadwick, Nichole, Brimmy, and Sally are enjoying their lunch when they hear sirens go off in town)

Chadwick: What the hell is that?

Brimmy: Yo, I think I know what's happening! The aliens attacking?!

Sally: Dude, you seriously need to lay off the weed.

Stan: There's probably a fire or something. Nothing to get excited over.

Ed: (Looks out the window to see small explosions and Cervantes' crewmates running up and down the streets) It sure doesn't look like a fire, boy, take a look. (The six friends look out the window with him to see the commotion)

Nichole: What is all this?

Ed: It's wild in the streets, that's what this is. Heidi, look the doors, I'll board up the windows! (He looks to see that Heidi and Stan have gone. They've gone to the restaurant's bathroom to change into their personas and emerge ready to kick some ass)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Love to, uncle, but Stan and I have to clean this mess before it gets worse.

Stan/Tool Shed: She's right. We have no time to lose. Sally, Chadwick, Nichole, Brimmy, you four stay here.

Chadwick: (Continues to look out the window) You don't have to tell us twice.

Stan/Tool Shed: Good. We're off.

Ed: Wait, Heidi, my son Dan is still out there somewhere. He said he was going to the beach. I don't know how he's faring in all this chaos, but if you can, please bring him back here safe and sound.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Cousin Dan is out there in this mess. Hmm…(Perks up and gives a happy salute) Okay, can do uncle, meow, meow! (Stan blushes at Heidi's adorableness) We'll be back, come on Stan, to the beach!

Stan/Tool Shed: (Snaps out of it) Oh, right! (The duo leave the restaurant and head for the beach)

(Back on the beach, the 18 saints that are already there are giving it their all to protect the civilians and their classmates from the pirates. Five crewmates are climbing onto the soundstage that Jason, Esther, Bradley, and Bridon are on)

Jason: (Shudders) I don't think these guys are fans of our music.

Esther: (Chuckles nervously) I guess you really can't please everyone. (The crewmates whip out their swords)

Bradley: Come on, guys, can't we talk about this?

Bridon: They're beyond talking. (Picks up his guitar) Looks like violence is the only thing that'll get through to them.

Crewmate #5: Aye, the shaggy one has quite the pair of coconuts on him. Maybe we should cut 'em off!

Crewmate #6: Castration, ho! (The crewmates charge when Apollo and Maria show up to defend the band)

Maria/White Mind Maiden & Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (With an aura around their hands) Psycho Push! (They use psychic energy to push the crewmates away from them)

Bridon: Hey, thanks you two.

(Maria and Apollo, not wanting to blow their cover, give thumbs ups to the band and they head off to another part of the beach to fight more crewmates. On another part of the beach, Dan is getting approached by three crewmates, two with guns and one with a saber)

Dan: No, I'm too pretty to die! (Covers himself as the three pirates advance and get ready to attack)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Appears behind Dan) Stay away from him! Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity at the two crewmates with guns) And I have something special for you, Lightning Spear! (Throws a lightning spear and impales the pirate with a saber through the chest)

Dan: Whoa, that was awesome! (Looks at Professor Chaos to see Butters face) Butters!

Butters/Professor Chaos: That's Professor Chaos to you, Danny boy! Stay low and don't let your guard down, and you should be alright.

Dan: You got it! (Butters goes to fight more crewmates)

(At another part of the beach, Francis begins to record the fights)

Francis: (Recording) Okay so the craziest thing just happened! These pirates just came out the woodworks and starting attack us with all piss and vinegar! As you can see, a majority of the South Park Saints are engaged in heated battle against these mysterious invaders! This is absolute pandemonium!

(Suddenly he hears screaming, it's Nelly Coleman, his girlfriend. She's getting approached by three pirates)

 **(Nelly is wearing. Her brown hair is tied in two long curly twintails. She's wearing a light green short sleeve one shoulder top, a jean skirt, black leggings, and black shoes)**

Francis: Oh shit, Nelly! (He rushes to his girlfriend's aide as we cut to said situation)

Crewmate #7: Yar, har, har. Now who do we have here? A little lassie scared out of here wits? My favorite type of victim.

Crewmate #8: (Holds out his sword) Hey, let me get a lock 'o that hair so I can remember this maiming.

Francis: (Rushes and gets between Nelly and the three pirates) You leave her alone!

Crewmate #7: Oh ho! What have we here?

Crewmate #9: It looks like the brave and noble prince trying to save the day it does! I hate those types of people, yes I do!

Francis: (Holds up his camera) Back away now or I will not hesitate to bash this camera against your skulls!

Nelly: Francis, your $1,000 camera!? You're willing to use it as a weapon to save me?

Francis: (Quickly turns to Nelly) To me, babe, you're worth more than any amount of any form of currency. (Nelly blushes as Francis turns back to the pirates) Alright asshole, come and get it! (The three pirates get ready to fight when…)

Kevin: Rhino Ram!

(He lowers his head to show the rhinoceros horn, and he charges forward. He impales one crewmate, then the second, and then the third)

Kevin: Oh yeah! I got a pirate kabob on my head! (Runs to the volleyball court) Service! (He tosses the three pirates into the air, jumps up and punches them in the face, causing them to fall back on the beach hard) Ha, ha, ha! Me: 3, Pirate: Zip!

Francis: I could've handled that, dude.

Kevin: And destroy that expensive camera? I don't think so lover boy.

(Back near the soundstage, Jimmy, Kal, and Jessie are getting approached by four of Cervantes' crewmates, one with a gun and the other three with swords. It's at that moment when Bradley comes racing in and gets ready to defend his friend and two girlfriends)

Bradley: (Gets in a fighting stance with his drum sticks) Alright, come and get it!

Jimmy: Oh shit! I-I-Is he actually going to t-take these guys on?!

Kal: Bradley, baby, are you crazy!

Jessie: You don't have to do this. Get out of there!

Bradley: Don't worry about me, just run! (Just as the pirates were about to attack Bradley, the likes of Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula step in)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Pick on someone of your own fighting caliber!

Crewmate #10: You four want trouble? You got it! (Fires his gun and the four teens dodge as they get into fight with their respective crewmate)

(As Kurt got into a heated gun fight with Crewmate #10, they kept firing their bullets until the crewmate ran out of his)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Out of ammo, eh? Shame, I was starting to have fun! (Whips out his minigun) Wild Wild Gatling! (He fires his minigun and takes out the crewmate)

(With Red and her crewmate, he kept slashing at her, and Red either dodged the attack or blocked it with her shield. When the crewmate's attack started to slow down, she used this moment to attack)

Red/Madame Knight: Flowmotion, activate! (The disks on the bottom of her boots turn on and she glows a pink aura. She starts spinning around the crewmate who gets dizzy) Blow Off! (She tosses the crewmate a good couple yards into the ocean)

(We cut to Annie with her fight as she whips out her machetes)

Crewmate #11: Time to clip your wings, butterfly! (He swings his sword, and Annie blocks with her machetes) Just fucking die! Nobody likes a persistent bugger like you!

Annie/Darling Dame: You don't like me? Well guess what asshole, I don't like you! (She hooks her machetes together and turns them into a big pair of scissors) Sonic Scissors! (She cuts the crewmate in half, killing him)

(Now we cut to Ursula and her fight. She's dodging a crewmate's slash attacks)

Crewmate #12: Stay still you slippery chink!

(As soon as Ursula heard that, she flew into a rage)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Blossom Storm! (Covers the crewmate in a cloud of blossoms so he couldn't see) Petal Blizzard! (Sharp edged petals fly out of her kimono sleeves and cut up the crewmate from inside the blossom storm. When the blossom cloud dissipated the crewmate is all cut up and trying to get his bearing straight when Ursula comes at him) Razor Fan!

(Ursula swings one of her blades downward, which the crewmate blocks…but he didn't take into account her second one, which impales him in the stomach. The crewmate falls on the ground and begins to bleed out. Ursula looks at him and says…)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: By the way, I'm Japanese not Chinese. Learn your ethnicities, barnacle breath! (Spits in his face as she leaves to find more mooks to fight)

(At another part of the beach, Terrance Mephesto is surrounded by seven crewmates, swords ready to slash at him)

Terrance M: There is no way you barbarians are getting those swords anywhere near me! Are they even clean? And for fuck's sakes, you smell like barnacles and sea salt! If you're going to kill me, at least have the decency to use proper hygiene. I don't want my delicate corpse to reek of a porpoise.

(It's at this moment when Tweek, Craig, Millie, and Token enter the scene)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Terrance is in trouble!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boom box morphs into arm cannons) We've got to help.

Millie: Hold on guys, let's think about this. Terrance is about to get killed, he's kind of a dick. This can be karma for him. I say we ignore him and move on. (Craig, Tweek, and Token just look at her) Fine let's save him!

Token/Tupper Wear: (Takes out his sniper rifle, cocks it, and aims it for one of the pirate's heads) Alright then, let's do it! Tupper Sniper! (Fires a shot and blows the crewmate's head off, catching the other six's attention)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: You assholes have the wrong target! It's us you want! (The six crewmates charge at the four heroes, two attack Tweek, two others attack Craig, and the other two attack Millie)

Millie: Token, get Terrance to safety…even though I really wish you wouldn't.

Token/Tupper Wear: Already on it! (He walks up to Terrance and takes him to a safe place)

Terrrance M: 'Bout time you come and save the day.

Token/Tupper Wear: Just shut up and follow me (They leave).

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Sees his two crewmate about to slash at him with their swords) Pom-Pom Wrap! (The pom-pom strings wrap around the two crewmates and he throws them far into the ocean as we cut to Craig's fight)

Crewmate #13: (He gets his gun ready as does his partner) Say bye bye, landlubber! FIRE!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boombox arm cannons turn into a shield in the shape of a whole note) Whole Shield! (The shots bounce off of the shield and hit the two crewmates in the legs) Take this! (He knocks the two crewmates unconscious as he whacks them with the shield. It's at this moment when we cut to Millie's fight)

Crewmate #14: RAAAAHH! (Swings his sword down at Millie who blocks the attack with her two shotguns)

Millie: Take this, blubber butt! (Kicks the crewmate in the testicles and knocks him unconscious with the butt of her shotgun)

Crewmate #15: Aye, you'll pay for that! (Takes out his gun and fires, but before the bullet could reach Millie, she picks up the unconscious body of the other crewmate and uses him as a human shield) Oh no, Swanson!

Millie: (Points her shotguns at the crewmates chest) Don't worry, you'll see him again soon. (The crewmate gasps) Righteous Shot! (Blasts the crewmate in the chest)

(Now we cut to Sam and Wendy fighting a group of crewmates)

Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Raging Kick! (She kicks one of the crewmates so far he goes flying into the ocean. It's then that she sees three more crewmates charge at her with swords) Wrath of the Tigress! (She launches a big fireball at them and incinerates them. It's at this moment when another crewmate appears behind her and aims his gun at her. He fires and Sam appears to block the bullet)

Sam/Sir Justice: Testaburger Scarf! (The scarf comes to life, and sends the bullet back at the crewmate, killing him. It's at this moment when two more crewmates come at Sam swords swinging) You want some too? Okay, take this! Murciélago Magic! (Fires red, bat shaped energy blasts from his palms, taking the two crew mates out) God it feels so good to whoop some bad guys!

(Suddenly, Sam and Wendy find themselves surrounded by a bunch of crewmates pointing their guns at them)

Crewmate #16: Make one move and ye shall have more holes in yer bodies than the swissest of cheeses. (Wendy gets another fireball ready while Sam gets his boomerang ready) Ready, aim…(Suddenly, he hears the sound of a bell ringing) What be this?

(It's Kelly Rutherford-Menskin riding a bike/ice cream vending cart hybrid, she mows down the crewmates that are about to shoot at Sam and Wendy, knocking them out)

Kelly RM: The ice cream man is town, mother lover! (Grabs a bomb pop from within the cart) What did you think of my kick ass one liner, Sammy baby.

Sam: (Looks on in shock as does Wendy) I've heard better. (Goes back to kicking ass with Wendy)

Kelly RM: (Shrugs her shoulders and takes a bite out of her bomb pop) GAH, BRAIN FREEZE! (Falls off the vending cart)

(We then cut to more ships landing on the beach, as Bridgette and Clyde look on)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Sees more ships coming) Clyde, take out those ships that are on their way now. I'll handle these other fools.

Clyde/Mosquito: Aye, aye, babe. (Chuckles) Get it, because when pirates receive orders they respond by saying, "aye…"

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yes I get it, just come on! (Charges into battle as Clyde flies out to the sea to stop the coming ships. With Bridgette, she is sees a horde of pirates coming right at her) Sorry, boys, the beach is closed today! (Her 10 rings glow) Holy Burst! (Fires a burst of energy from the rings, taking the pirates out)

Clyde/Mosquito: (Flies above the coming fleet of ships, it's then he takes out a whole load of black mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush! (The black mosquito robots fly down at the fleet) Fly my pretties, fly! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (The bomb mosquitoes attach themselves to the ships and they blow up, destroying them all. With the ships destroyed, Clyde flies back to the beach to help Bridgette)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Bountiful Bow! (Gets into a struggle with a crewmate and his sword, but he overpowers her and pushes her back)

Crewmate #17: (Whips out gun) Say yer prayers, wench! (Fires it, but Bridgette whips out one of her cymbals, and the bullet bounced off it and nails the crewmate right in the neck)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Oh yeah! (Suddenly she hears a whistling noise, and a cannonball is coming right at her) Oh no!

Clyde/Mosquito: (From above) Mosquito Mob: Lazer League! (The white mosquito robots fire lazers and take the cannonball out before it could reach Bridgette)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Looks up at Clyde) Nice work!

Clyde/Mosquito: Don't thank me yet! We've still got a lot of trash to clean off this beach!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: That's right. (Gets her violin bow ready) Let's do this! (Charges into battle along with Clyde)

(At long last we cut to Cody and Bebe, who are fighting the good fight against the crewmates. While brawling however, Cody decides to get the truth about Bebe's past from her)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Blasting some faraway crewmates with Fantasia of Riches) You know, sweetie, this is a rather dangerous situation we've found ourselves in. Heaven forbid we die here and now, it'd be shame if we did so holding in secrets. Any last minute things you want to tell me?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Gets into a sword fight with one of the crewmates) Nope, nothing comes to mind, honey. (Pushes the crewmate back and throws a knife into his throat)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Are you sure? (Blocks a crewmate's scimitar with his staff before impaling him with his katana) Nothing that you may have been hiding in the back of your mind for, say, ten years now?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Babe, I don't know what you're talking about. (Tosses a Shocking Shuriken and looks back at Cody) Honest. (Blinks twice)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Really? (Whacks a crewmate with the ruby on his staff) Then let me ask you something, does…(Sees a crewmate running at Bebe) Could you duck down real quick?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sure. (Ducks down so Cody could fire a Fantasia of Riches attack at the crewmate)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Thank you. Anyway, does the Cutest Boy List ring a few bells?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Gasp) Cody, how'd you know about that? (Tosses one of her swords at a crewmate)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Gets into a struggle with another crewmate) Terrance Mephesto told me. I don't get it, Bebe, I've told you everything about me: Where I come from, what I've done, who I am, and then some. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me these things, babe.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I was afraid you'd leave me. (Drop kicks a crewmate that's coming right at her)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Finishes blocking some bullets with his Fortune Bubble) We'll discuss this more later. Right now, let's focus on _not_ being on the pointy end of the scimitar.

(As the 18 heroes are fighting the crewmates, and trying to save as many civilians as possible, Craig looks to see more crewmates rushing the boardwalk and town)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Yo, some of those clam eating sons of bitches are heading for the boardwalk! (Sees that a crewmate is coming to punch him in the face) Boom Bop! (Knocks the crewmate out with his armored hands)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's where the rest of our friends are! (Dodges a bullet from another crewmate)

Sam/Sir Justice: I think Stan and Heidi have their gear. (Turns to Kurt, Annie, Ursula, and Red and tosses a duffle bag towards them, which Kurt catches) Find Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny! That has their gear! Tell them to suit up and meet us down here when they've taken out the crewmates on the boardwalk!

Red/Madame Knight: You got it, Sam! (The four of them head into the boardwalk, which is where we cut to…)

(On the boardwalk, Ace, Blaze, Carmel, and Inkwell are shooting at a small group of crewmates as they're firing back. Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Lola are trying to fight back by throwing pieces of trash at them)

Crewmate #18: Just hand those saints over, and we won't be forced to hurt ye!

Ace: Back off yo! You want these cool cats over here so bad, you'll have to go through us!

Cartman: Yeah, fuck off! (Tosses a used syringe into the eye of one of the crewmates)

Crewmate #18: Ye have done it now! (Fires a bullet and Cartman dodges) This be getting us nowhere, me buckos! What's say we light up their lives! (The rest of his crew cheers as he pulls out a bottle of whisky with a rag in it. He then lights the rag up)

Kyle: Shit! He has a Molotov!

Crewmate #18: Yar, har, har! Say hello to Satan for me! (Before he's able to throw it, an arrow is shot at it and it gets stuck in the bottle) Eh? (The bottle cracks some more and it explodes on the crewmates, catching the eight off guard, and they turn behind them to find Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula)

Red/Madame Knight: I love the smell of grilled pirate in the morning.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Smells like chicken.

Kenny: Alright, guys!

Kyle: Thanks, we totally owe you one!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Don't mention it! (Tosses Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman the duffle bag) Time to gear up.

Annie/Darling Dame: Yeah, let's send these pirates back to the sea where they belong!

(Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny suit up just as three more pirates show up)

Cartman/Coon: Let us handle this. (Looks at Kyle and Kenny) You bitches ready?

Kyle/Human Kite: Mmm-hmm

Kenny/Mysterion: Let's party! (The trio charge into battle)

Cartman/Coon: (Goes up to a buff looking pirate and he takes out his cleaver) Rodent's Cleaver! (Cuts the crewmate on the stomach and kicks him away)

Crewmate #19: (Takes out his gun) Take this! (He shoots it at Kyle, who dodges)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires a harpoon from the top of his kite and impales the crewmate)

Crewmate #20: (Points at Kenny) You're mine mystery boy! (Charges at him with a sword)

Kenny/Mysterion: Guess now is a good a time as any to try this bad boy out. (He randomly pulls out a black sword with golden hilt and a green question mark on it) En Garde!

(The pirate and Kenny clash swords multiple times. Kenny dodges one of the pirate's slashes and he points his sword right at him)

Kenny/Mysterion: Sword of Wonder! (Fires a beam from his sword that blasts the pirate away. Once the pirate is gone, Kenny looks at his new sword) Heh, Sophocles, I fucking love you!

Ace: Very impressive you! I knew you cats was the real deal!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Looks at Kyle) Kyle, who are these guys?

Kyle/Human Kite: We'll explain later.

 _ **BOOM!**_

Carmel: Oh, what now, dude?!

(They all look to see a pirate that is piloting a 10 ft tall wooden mecha)

Mecha Crewmate: Yar! How ye like me now?

Ace: Carmel, Inkwell, Blaze, let loose yo! (The four of them fire shots from their guns)

Annie/Darling Dame: Bullets of the Rising Sun! (Fires her bullets from her uzis)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires his gatling gun)

(The bullets are hitting the wooden mecha, but they aren't doing anything to it.)

Mecha Crewmate: Absolutely pitiful, yar! Have a taste of this! (The right arm of the mech is a cannon that fires a cannon ball) Fire in the hole! (The cannon ball is about to hit the six when)

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare! (Fires heat beams that melts the cannon ball in mid air, much to the chagrin of the crewmate. It's then he sees Cartman making his move)

Cartman/Coon: (Takes out his RPG) Racoon Rocket! (Fires a rocket that the crewmate catches with the mecha's left arm, and he throws it aside) That's impossible!

Mecha Crewmate: On the contrary, you little rascal, I'd say it's highly possible!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: I've had enough of your bullshit! Blossom Storm! (Blossoms fly out of her sleeves and envelop the crewmate) Okay, Red, Kenny, he's all yours.

Red/Madame Knight: (Takes out her sword) Thanks, love.

Kenny/Mysterion: Appreciate it! (Takes out his sword and the two charge into the blossom storm to fight the crewmate. Everyone else hears swords clang, hits being thrown… all leading up to Red and Kenny being thrown out of the blossom storm and knocked on their asses)

Red/Madame Knight: That could've gone better.

Mecha Crewmate: (Blows the blossoms away and holds out his cannon arm) Argh! I expected more of challenge from the ones who bested Satan's seven other advocates. How unfortunately disappointing. Oh well, time to die!

(The heroes brace themselves for a cannon shot when)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Kitty's Claws!

 _ **SLASH!**_

(The mecha's cannon is cut off. The crewmate piloting it sees Heidi waving innocently at the crewmate)

Mecha Crewmate: What be this?

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer! (Swings his sledge hammer and it hits the crew mate so hard he goes flying into a wall. It's then he takes out his power drill) Drill Launcher! (Fires a drill bit and it hits the crewmate right between the eyes, killing him)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Alright, guys!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Hope you all didn't get too lonely without us! Meow, meow!

Cartman/Coon: It was all cool, Heidi. But man, are we glad you showed up when you did.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: So, what's the plan now?

Stan/Tool Shed: Heidi and I took out a good sum of the crewmates here on the boardwalk. But I'm willing to bet that there's still a few lurking around here.

Carmel: So you're saying there might be more of those barnacle brains are still running around like they own the place?

Stan/Tool Shed: What did I just say?

Ace: Guess it's time to lock and load yo!

Lola: I'll help out anyway I can!

Kenny/Mysterion: No, Lola! It's too dangerous. I'll guide you to safety.

Lola: (Blushes) Thanks…Kenny.

Kenny/Mysterion: What are friends for? (Lola pouts a little at the thought of her and Kenny being just friends)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Turns to Ace, Carmel, Blaze, and Inkwell) This is no place for you four to be either.

Red/Madame Knight: We've got to get you four to safety as well.

Blaze: You kidding us, yo? We thrive on the thrill of this kind of thing.

Annie/Darling Dame: Not to be rude, but you should go with them.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Leave the pirate killing to the professionals.

Cartman/Coon: We can't have innocent civilians get hurt or killed on our watch. Especially if they're a group of badasses that we just met.

Ace: Have it your way, yo! Just don't do anything we wouldn't do.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: No promises, meow!

Kenny/Mysterion: Good luck, everyone, make the South Park Saints proud. (He, Lola, Red, Ursula, Ace, Blaze, Carmel, and Inkwell leave)

Stan/Tool Shed: Alright, let's do this!

(Epic fight montage time! Fight 1: Heidi and Stan vs five crewmates)

Crewmate #21: Yar, there be those scurvy saints! Get 'em! (They charge)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Paw Pummel!

(They smash and punch the crewmates so hard they go flying into a nearby carnival game. The five crewmates emerge with clown make-up on their faces when Heidi and Stan show up)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Golly, my favorite carnival game! Shoot the ugly clown face! (Takes out her gun as Stan's hammer cannon opens up) Rabid Rapid Fire!

Stan/Tool Shed: Hammer Cannon! (The attacks make the game explode, killing the five crewmates in the process)

(Fight 2: Kyle and Annie vs. Crewmates on a Drop Tower and Ferris Wheel)

Kyle/Human Kite: Annie! You take the Ferris Wheel, I'll take the drop tower!

Annie/Darling Dame: Sounds like a plan. (The two separate)

(We first cut to Kyle who staring at the Drop Tower ride. At the top are a group of crew mates who are using the ride to snipe out any innocents they see)

Crewmate #22: Look down there! (Points at Kyle who is looking right at them)

Crew mate #23: It's one of those saints! Shoot, boys! (The crewmates shoot at Kyle, who flies fast at the Drop Tower, dodging all of the bullets. When he arrives, he gets to the control panel)

Kyle/Human Kite: Let's go for a ride! (Flips a switch and the ride goes down. The crewmates scream their lungs out) You like that, assholes? Here! (Flips the switch back up, and the ride goes up fast) Whoops! (Flips the switch again and the ride goes back down)

(Kyle keeps the pace up until the crewmates go flying off of the ride)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires multiple harpoons impaling all of the crew mates)

(Meanwhile, at the Ferris Wheel, a bunch of crew mates are trying to do the same thing: Using the ride's baskets as a perch for them to snipe. It's then they see Annie waving at them innocently)

Annie/Darling Dame: Hello boys! Lovely day at the carnival isn't it! (Takes out her guns and her butterfly wings start glowing. The crewmates know they're screwed) Bullets of the Rising Sun! Butterfly Maelstrom!

(Annie opens fire on the crewmates and takes just about all of them out. There's one left on the top basket. The crewmate tries shooting at her, but she dodges and flies upward)

Annie/Darling Dame: I hope this works. Cocoon Crash! (Her butterfly wings envelop her forming a hard shell, and she crashes into the basked, knocking the sniper off, and he falls to the ground to his death)

(Fight #3: Kurt vs Crewmates on a roller coaster)

(Kurt is perched on a light post near a roller coaster. He sees the coaster coming up with a group of crewmates on it)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Ah, my ride's here! (Jumps onto the front of the roller coaster, causing the crewmates to gasp) Howdy, boys! You must be this evil to go on Smith the Kid's Wild Ride! No refunds! Radiant Revolver!

(Kurt starts firing at the pirates. Some of them get hit while others duck down from his shots and return fire from their own guns)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Miss me! Miss me! Now you gotta kiss my AGH!

(He flies to the back because the roller coaster is going over a loop. Kurt grabs on to the back of the rear car of the coaster and pulls himself back on as the loop ended)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Now, where were we? (Takes out his gatling gun) Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires multiple rounds killing the remaining crewmates)

(Fight #4: Cartman vs. A crewmate)

(Cartman is in a fist fight with a buff crewmate)

Cartman/Coon: (Panting)

Crewmate #24: Let's go, rodent! I've fished up starfish stronger than you.

Cartman/Coon: (Growls and charges) Fuck you!

(Cartman pushes the crewmate into the Round Up ride. However, the crewmate accidently flips the switch for the ride so it activates just as he and Cartman enter)

Crewmate #24: Catch me if you can, rodent!

(Cartman pursues the crewmate on the spinning Round Up ride. It's like two people trying to chase each other on a treadmill)

Crewmate #24: You can't catch me! I can keep this up all day long!

Cartman/Coon: (Stops running and lets the Round Up take him)

Crewmate #24: What!? (Looks to see Cartman coming at him with his cleaver and he beheads the crewmate)

(As the six of them clean up the boardwalk, the rest of the Saints try and clean up the beach. It gets to the point where the crewmates retreat back to their ships, seeing the unwinnable situation they're in)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: We got them on the run now, guys! (Fires his arm cannons) Don't let any of them get away!

(Too late! The last of the ships left the shore. Sam looks ready to dive into the ocean and give chase)

Sam/Sir Justice: You get back here bastards!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam! Watch out!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks up to see Captain Alejandro Cervantes coming down out of nowhere in an attempt to stomp on him. Sam dodges just in time and sees who the last advocate is) That leg cannon, that sword arm…could it be!

Cervantes: (Looks at Sam) So we finally meet, Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Ecstatic) Oh my God! Captain Alejandro Cervantes!

Cervantes: (Confused at his reaction) Eh? What's this?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to his friends) Guys, guys, do you know who this is?!

Token/Tupper Wear: A crusty old pirate that smells like rotten lemons?

Cervantes: (Overhears the comment) I'm not about to get scurvy, especially now! (Pulls out a lemon from his pocket and eats it)

(It's at this moment when the group of 14 from the boardwalk come to the beach and join the rest of the group)

Sam/Sir Justice: Everyone, this is Captain Alejandro Cervantes: One of my childhood heroes.

Butters/Professor Chaos: This advocate was a hero of yours, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Starts fanboying) Oh hell yeah! Between the ages of 4-8, I had an obsession with pirates! I always borrowed pirate books from the library, watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies all the time, and watched documentaries on T.V. Especially documentaries about this majestic man! I'd stay up late on Friday nights watching Cervantes documentaries and movies until I'd fall asleep in front of the T.V and my parents had to carry me off to bed. I dressed up as him on Halloween one time.

Cervantes: Huh?

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Cervantes, I thought it was really cool how you constructed that leg cannon and that sword hand after you lost it when a whale rammed into your ship. (Whines) Why do you have to be the last advocate, you're so cool. Hey, look, look, I know we're enemies and all but could you sign my gun? My gauntlets? My mask? My scarf? Anything! Was it true that you were frozen for over 500 years? How did you get out? What was it like?

Cervantes: SHUT UP! (Backhands Sam who goes flying to his group of friends)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Sam, you okay?

Sam/Sir Justice: I just got hit by Alejandro Cervantes! (Smiles) I'll never forget this day.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sam, how can you fanboy over this swashbuckling scumbag. _He's the bad guy!_

Ursula/Samurai of Light: You don't understand. Sam has had an obsession with this guy long before he became Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: I even considered changing my moniker at one point from Sir Justice to Captain Justice: A pirate themed hero. But then I played Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep, worried I'd face legal problems, it was really more trouble than it was worth.

Cervantes: (Clears throat) You seem to know a lot about me, Sir Justice. But if you don't mind, I'd like it if I told you all me back story myself.

Sam/Sir Justice: By all means, sir, go ahead.

Cervantes: Very well.

 _ **Flashback time:**_

 _(Shot #1: The year was 1513. Cervantes and his crewmates are wrecking havoc in small seaside villages and raiding shipping boats)_

 _Cervantes (v.o): Me loyal crew and I made an honest living off of pillaging, squandering, and overall ultra violence. We'd take all of the goods those fools had to offer: Gold, food, women! Life was good for us all._

 _(Shot #2: Cervantes and his fleet are sailing along the Arctic Circle in search of something. A huge blizzard is blowing through)_

 _Cervantes (v.o): But one fateful day, we heard form an anonymous source that there were islands of gold along the Arctic Circle. We just couldn't pass an opportunity like this up. Unfortunately for us, Mother Nature was a cruel mistress._

 _(Shot #3: Some of the crewmates have gotten sick and died, everyone else however is encased in ice, frozen for the next 500 years)_

 _Cervantes (v.o): Hypothermia killed a bit more than a handful of us. They were the lucky ones. The survivors were encased in an icy prison for 500 years. I was aware of everything that was happening. I couldn't move or speak. I was going absolutely insane. The only other thought I had was how me loyal crew were faring in our frozen bondage._

 _(Shot #4: Fast forward 500 years later, Cervantes sees a shadowy figure come up to the huge ice block and he and his men are trapped in)_

 _Cervantes (v.o): However, when everything seemed bleak for us, a mysterious figure came up and cast a huge fire spell, melting the ice and freeing us from our cold crypts. I looked up and it was Satan himself! He told me that he observed me and me crew's misdeeds all that time ago. He said that his little boy was in trouble deep, and he needed me and my crew's help. I accepted this offer. After all, it was the least I could do for him saving us all._

 _ **End flashback**_

Cervantes: And that be the whole story, lads and lasses.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Claps his hands) Even more beautiful and heart wrenching when told by you.

Cervantes: I'd be flattered by you if I didn't despise you with every fiber of me being. Anyway, we must do battle right here and now! But first, what's say we make this a tad bit interesting. (Snaps his fingers)

(As soon as Cervantes snaps his finger, cages come from nowhere and lock up all of the South Park Saints sans for Wendy and Sam. The non-saint characters, Kelly R.M, Bridon, Esther, Bradley, Jason, Dan, Ace, Carmel, Inkwell, Blaze, Lola, Francis, Nelly, Jimmy, Kal, Jessie, and Terrance Mephesto jump out of the way so they don't get captured as well. The 16 go and hide somewhere so they don't get noticed)

Clyde/Mosquito: What the…Let us out of here Captain Jerk-Off Sparrow!

Annie/Darling Dame: Hang on, guys! I can save us! (Puts her machetes together to make scissors) Sonic Scissors!

(Annie tries to cut the bars on the cage she's in…but as soon as her scissors make contact with the bars, they blow her back)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Catches her) Are you alright, babe?

Annie/Darling Dame: What was that?!

Cervantes: Aye, Satan's patented indestructible cage! 'Tis a beautiful thing!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You and I have very different definitions of beauty, captain! Let our friends go, before Sam and I rip that cannon right off your leg. (Looks at Sam) Right, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Still fanboying)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: SAM!

Sam/Sir Justice: But he's so cool!

Cervantes: I'd watch your mouth, little girl. Look who I have over on me ship. (Points at his ship as it pulls up on shore. Some crewmates drag Kelly PT, Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, Mephesto, Leon, and Alex Slave on deck so Sam and Wendy could see them)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Shocked) Is that Leon…and Mr. Slave too?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Oh no, dad!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Daddy…

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Uncle…

Terrance M: (Hidden) Father, what?

Bridon: (Hidden) PT….

Cervantes: Now then, here's what shall happen me little landlubbers. You two and me, we engage in combat. You win, I let your friends go, I go peacefully to the brig, and me loyal crew shall disappear never to bother ye again.

Sam/Sir Justice: That's all we ever wanted.

Cervantes: However, if I win then you and your friends shall meet the grizzliest of deaths and our attack shall commence. What do ye say? Sounds like a fair wager, no?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Gets in fighting stance) Bring it! We're not scared of you, are we Sam? (Looks over at Sam with a raised brow)

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, we'll fight him. I just got to pretend that Cervantes is someone I hate. Maybe grumpy Mr. Henderson from next door back in Houston, the old dude and I never really did see eye to eye.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: There you go.

Cervantes: Well now, we have a real rumble on our hands. (Snaps his fingers and the crewmates take PT, Doug, Jeffrey, Mephesto, Sophocles, Alex Slave, and Leon back below deck) Can't have them witness any bloodshed now can we?

Kyle/Human Kite: (Sarcastically) But us witnessing it is a-okay.

Cervantes: SILENCE! It's time, Fuchsia Tigress, Sir Justice. Time to face the music!

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go! (He charges at Cervantes) Red's Blade! (Takes out his lightsaber which Cervantes blocks with his sword hand. The two of them clash multiple times before entering a struggle when Wendy jumps up from behind Sam)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Raging Kick! (Kicks Cervantes in the face, knocking him down. He gets back up)

Cervantes: I say, lassie, your feet smell nice.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's because unlike you, I shower every day.

Sam/Sir Justice: Speaking of which, it's bathtime! Cody's Speed Boots! (Sam runs fast and tackles Cervantes out into the ocean)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam!

(Underwater, Sam throws a punch at Cervantes' face, and he responds by punching Sam in the face. Sam then activates Testaburger Scarf, wrapping Cervantes up and throwing him down to the ocean floor. Sam uses Cody's Speed Boots to swim down to him. Cervantes uses his cannon leg to fire cannon balls at Sam, who takes out his giant fidget spinner. He spins it, and creates a cyclone that the cannon balls get trapped in. Once the cyclone stops, the cannon balls go flying back to Cervantes who dodges out of the way and swims towards Sam. Sam fires his Murcielago Magic attack that Cervantes dodges. When he gets close to Sam, Cervantes puts his cannon close to Sam and fires a cannonball, sending him flying out of the ocean and back to the shore)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Cough) Ow!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Are you alright Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm lucky he didn't puncture one of my lungs.

Cervantes: (Jumps out of the ocean and lands in front of Wendy and Sam) Please, mate, if I wanted to puncture you lung you'd know it. Now take this! (Aims his cannon leg at the two) Cannonball Crusher!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a fireball at the cannonball, destroying it)

Sam/Sir Justice: Kenny's Boomerang! (Throws the boomerang and hits Cervantes in the face, making him dizzy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Get ready, Long John Silver! Wildfire Smackdown! (Punches Cervantes a few times)

Cervantes: I say, you're annoying! (Grabs Wendy by her face and lifts her off the ground)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Muffled) Put me down, you moron! Ugh! I can't see!

Cervantes: (Gets his sword hand ready to impale her) It's better you don't see what I'm about to do to you, lassie.

Sam/Sir Justice: Ursula's Whip! (Wraps the whip around Cervantes' throat, causing him to gag and choke and let go of Wendy) I wonder what that special power Ursula used in this whip is. (Clicks the button and it electrifies the whip, shocking Cervantes) Awesome! (He releases Cervantes who falls to his knees) Done yet, Captain Crook?

Cervantes: I'm just getting started matey! (Uses his cannon as a sort of rocket so he flies toward Wendy and Sam, and he clotheslines them, knocking them on the ground) Yar, har, har! How ye like them apples, eh?

Wendy Fuchsia Tigress: Damn, how much punishment can this guy take?

Sam/Sir Justice: Everyone has a limit, Wendy. I have a feeling we're close to reaching his. Let's keep whittling him down! (He and Wendy charge forward, as the non-Saint characters watch the ensuing beach brawl)

Francis: (Recording the fight) Sam and Wendy are good…but Cervantes knows how to take abuse.

Kelly R.M: I don't know how much more my Sammy can take.

Esther: Sam's been up against tougher. Justin was certainly no pushover, but he got the job done with that sleaze bucket.

Sally: (Coming up) He wouldn't have beaten him if you haven't helped him out.

(Everyone turns to see Sally, Chadwick, Brimmy, and Nichole coming up to them)

Jimmy: Hey W-Wha-What's up?

Chadwick: We heard the chaos subsiding outside so we took it as a sign that everything is safe. (Looks over at the fight) I guess it's not so much over here.

Ace: No way, yo, those two are locked in fierce combat with that big bad pirate, yo!

Bradley: There's got to be something we can do to help them out. But what?

Bridon: I don't know about you, but I say we help by boarding Cervantes' ship and freeing PT, Mr. Testaburger, and the rest of them.

Nichole: Have you lost your mind, Bridon? It's suicide.

Brimmy: Yeah, dude. I know a bad idea when I see one…that's because I come up with a lot of them. (Laughs)

Bridon: Well, it's better than sitting here and doing nothing.

Jason: Well, doing nothing is better than getting killed, and I don't know if you haven't noticed but we're not skilled combatants like those guys.

Bridon: I think we're all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I think we should go and save our friends. It'll be one less thing the saints have to worry about.

Lola: Bridon's right! If we stick together, I'm confident that we can succeed!

Chadwick: Hell yeah!

Sally: Let's do it!

Jimmy: C-C-Count me in!

Terrance Mephesto: Very well. I guess we all die sooner or later.

Inkwell: Rock n' roll and lock and load. We're all in.

Dan: (Cracks his knuckles) Time to become a hero!

Bridon: So we're all in then? (The other 19 nod their heads)

Kelly R.M: (Takes out the captured one's gear) I got Mr. Testaburger, Mr. Stevens, Sophocles, Leon, and Mr. Slave's gear right here.

Nelly: That was fast.

Kelly R.M: Yeah, I was rummaging through the duffle bag to see if Sam had a spare costume that I can sleep with tonight and it was buried underneath all of their gear.

(Everyone gives her strange looks)

Bradley: What is wrong with you woman?

Bridon: Alright, let's get on that boat! Follow me!

(Bridon leads the way and they try and get to the boat. Cervantes, mid-fight with Wendy and Sam, notice and tries to stop them)

Cervantes: Ho, now! Where do ye think you're going! (Aims his cannonball leg at the group)

Dan: Shit! Go, go, go, go, go!

Cervantes: Say your prayers, kiddies! DOH!

(Cervantes just got uppercuted by Wendy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: This doesn't concern them, asshole. This is between you and us.

Cervantes: It doesn't matter much. Even if I fail to kill them, me ship be crawling with me loyal crew. They don't stand a ghost of chance. Yar, har, har!

(We cut to Cervantes' ship where the 20 non-saint characters are hiding in or behind crates or barrels. They look to see that the main deck is indeed crawling with loads of crewmates)

Nichole: There's pirates everywhere.

Ace: We're behind enemy lines now, yo!

Francis: (Spots double doors) I bet those doors lead below deck where they're being held.

Nelly: How are we going to get past all these guards?

Jessie: Not to mention there's a pirate in a crow's nest up there that'll definitely spot us if we move.

Terrance M: I have an idea. What's in those crates?

Francis: (Digs through them) Looks like a bunch of metal and some wood. I want to guess that these materials are meant to make more weapons.

Terrance M: Perfect. (Takes some of the materials and quickly makes a sniper rifle with them)

Chadwick: That's amazing! How did you know how to make a sniper that quickly, let alone at all?

Terrance M: (Loads a rusty nail into the sniper) You're forgetting that I'm a genius. (Holds up the sniper and aims it at the pirate in the crow's nest) One shot, one kill! (He pulls the trigger and the nail hits the pirate in the head, killing him. The other pirates start to get suspicious)

Crewmate #25: Keep your ears peeled mates. I think some rats wandered onto the ship if you catch my meaning. (The crewmates get their weapons ready and two of them guard the doors to get below deck)

Esther: Great, now what?

Terrance M: I can handle this. (Looks at Ace, Carmel, Blaze, and Inkwell) You four have guns?

Ace: What's it to you, yo?

Terrance M: Give them here. (The four do as they're told and Terrance makes some suppressors for their guns and his sniper) You four and me, we're taking these patrolling pirates out stealthily.

Carmel: Kick ass, dude.

Terrance M: Alright, you lot, let's make it rain! (He and the four gun slinging beach goers take out the patrolling pirates until only the guards are left)

Inkwell: Well, that's that.

Chadwick: Now we just got to figure out a way to get those two guards away from the door.

Francis: My camera is pretty sturdy. I can knock one of them out with this.

Dan: (Takes out a plank of wood) I found this plank of wood. Maybe we can get those two to come over by using a distraction.

Brimmy: I have this spare blunt. (Takes a marijuana blunt out of his pocket and a lighter) I can throw it over there, and the scent will entice one of the guards to come over and investigate. That's when Francis and knock him into next week.

Francis: Wow, Brimmy, that was actually kind of smart. I'm impressed.

Bridon: Jason, Bradley, Esther, and I will sing to get our distraction. And Dan, that's when you hit him over the head with that plank.

Dan: Genius I say!

Esther: As for the rest of you, just hide. We'll call you when the coast is clear.

Jason: Alright, places everyone, let's do it! (Everyone gets into position)

(We cut to the two pirates who are standing guard duty. One is picking his teeth with his sword while the other is just yawning and scratching his stomach it's then they hear singing)

Bridon: (Singing) I could just sit around making music all day long. As long as I'm making my music ain't gonna do nobody no harm.

Crewmate #26: What's that noise?

Esther: And who knows maybe I'll come up with a song to make people want to stop all this fussing and fighting long enough to sing along.

Crewmate #27: Go check it out. (The other guard goes to investiage)

Bridon, Esther, Jason, and Bradley: I believe in music, I believe in love. I believe in music, I believe in love.

(The crewmate finds the four singing and gets mad)

Bradley: Oh, hello!

Crewmate #26: (Gets his sword ready)

Dan: And goodbye! (Whacks the crewmate over the head, knocking him out)

(Back with the other guard, he stops hearing the singing)

Crewmate #27: Bart must've taken care of whatever was singing because I don't hear nothing no more. Why isn't he coming back though? (It's then he smells something) What be that ghastly smell? (He takes out his sword and goes to investigate the smell. When he arrives to the source, he finds Brimmy's blunt) Well what have we here?

Francis: (Clears his throat and the guard turns in his direction) Hi. (Points at his camera) This is your brain. And this is your brain on drugs! (Whacks the crewmate with his camera, knocking him out) Any questions?

Brimmy: Alright, dudes, the coast is clear. (Everyone comes out of hiding)

Francis: (Looks at his camera) Awesome, not even a scratch.

Bridon: (Takes out some keys) Our guard had these keys on him.

Jimmy: They must be the keys to where those guys are being held.

Chadwick: Right. Come on guys, we have no time to lose!

(The group of two hurry to the door that leads below deck, they open it and then…)

Crewmate #28: Surprise mother…!

 _ **THWACK!**_

Jimmy: (After knocking out the crewmate with one of his crutches) F-F-Fucker!

Bradley: Damn, that was a solid hit.

Jessie: I could be wrong, but I think you killed him.

Jimmy: Good. Well, what are we waiting for, let's go.

Ace: My crew and I will stay out here and guard, yo. In case reinforcements come.

Dan: I'll stay behind too.

Terrance M: I as well.

Kal: Suit yourselves. Let's go! (The other 14 go below deck)

(Below deck, the 15 quietly walk in search of the cell that's holding Kelly PT and the 6 captive saints)

Nichole: God this place is giving me the creeps.

Jessie: Tell me about it.

Chadwick: Stay focused, everyone. The sooner we find them, the sooner we can leave. (As they kept walking, a crewmate crosses their path)

Bridon: Get down! (Him and the 14 duck and hide behind some crates) Do you think he saw us?

Kal: (Looks out from her hiding place) No, he's still standing there.

Brimmy: Like, we've got to find a way to get passed him.

Chadwick: Let me handle that. (Comes out of hiding and begins to sneak up on him)

Sally: What the…? Chadwick! You get your crazy ass back here, right now! Chadwick!

Chadwick: (Approaches the pirate, puts him in the sleeper hold and knocks him out cold)

Jimmy: Whoa, Chadwick, that was amazing.

Chadwick: Thanks. I want to join the Navy when I graduate so my dad taught me a few tricks from his days in the military.

Jason: Badass, man. Alright, problem solved, let's keep trucking.

Crewmate #29: Hey, you brats! What do you think you're doing?

Lola: Oh shit!

Crewmate #29: Get over here! (Runs to the group of 15)

Bridon: Anyone have any last minute plans to take care of this guy with?

Kelly R.M: I do! (Takes out a bomb pop from the top of her tankini)

Brimmy: That was a bomb pop? First of all, ouch that's got to be cold. And second, I thought that was a weird shaped breast lump (Laughs).

Nelly: On word: Rehab.

Kelly RM: Here goes nothing! (Throws her bomb pop underneath the crewmate's feet, which causes him to slip and land on his back) Quick, someone give him a finisher!

Lola: Allow me! (Picks up one of the crates, runs up to the crewmate and whacks him over the head with it) Sweet dreams, dickhead!

Kelly RM: Nice one, Lola. The two of us make a good team. Hell, we all do. You know, maybe the lot of us should hang out more often. I don't know if you have dinner plans, but I think there's a nice Italian joint that serves…

Nichole: (Shoots down her idea) We all have lives, R.M.

Francis: Come on, guys, I don't think we're that far from the dungeon.

(The 14 press on until they reach a door. Bradley opens it a crack and sees the cell that their friends are being held in…being guarded by a single guard)

Bradley: I've got good news and I've got bad news. What do you want to hear first?

Esther: I could go for some good news right about now.

Bradley: Well, we've reached the dungeon. The bad news…there's a guard blocking our way.

Jason: Well obviously that's the bad news. What other bad news is there?

Brimmy: I don't know: They're all dead and we're next? (All eyes are on him)

Sally: (Sarcastically) Thanks for inspiring hope, idiot! (Normal tone) Now how will we take care of that guard.

Jessie: (She and Kal take some Skittles out from her pocket) Let me and Kal handle this one.

(Cut to a few minutes later, the bored looking guard is keeping guard duty. He looks into the cell to find his seven prisoners asleep)

Crewmate #30: Boring isn't it? I should be out there fighting alongside Cervantes. Not locked up in here babysitting some random nobodies lost at sea. Why doesn't Cervantes want me? (It's then he sees a skittle roll into the dungeon room. He picks it up and eats it) Oh, yummy! (He walks to the door and sees a trail of skittles leading down the hall) Oh, there's more! (He follows the trail, eating the skittles as he goes. He turns the corner, and when he reaches the end he finds a bag full of skittles) Jackpot! (He starts eating the skittles) This is better than any treasure we've ever found! (As he eats he uncovers a live stick of dynamite that's about to blow up) Oh this isn't…GAH!

(Kal and Jessie trap him in a big crate and the dynamite explode within it, killing the crewmate. The explosion was loud enough to wake up the seven in the cell)

Doug: Huh? What's all the racket?

Bridon: (Races into the dungeon with the other 14) Everyone, we're here! Don't panic!

Kelly PT: Bridon?

Bridon: Hey, PT.

Kelly PT: You really think rushing in here with your little posse makes you my Prince Charming.

Bridon: Is it working?

Kelly PT: No! Now get us out of here.

Esther: You could ask nicer, you know.

Alex Slave: Jesus, just hurry before more of those pirates show up.

Bridon: Right! (Starts looking for the key)

Jeffrey: Where the rest of our team.

Jimmy: They're outside trying to fight C-Cer-C-Cervantes.

Lola: But it's not going well. Sam and Wendy are going it alone while everyone else is locked up. We're trying to free you so that you can lend a helping hand.

Kelly RM: (Holds up the gear) I got your stuff right here.

Chadwick: Mr. Mephesto, don't you have a random creature to help out…even though it'll probably die in a millisecond.

Mephesto: No I left my hybrids at home.

Brimmy: Of course you did.

(Suddenly, there hear footsteps)

Jason: Uh oh, I think I hear some crewmates coming. Bridon, you better search for that key faster.

Bridon: I'm trying! There's like 50 keys on this thing! I need more time!

Sophocles: More time is something we don't have!

Sally: I have an idea on how to buy you all some time, but I need Nichole and Nelly's help too.

Nichole: Okay.

Nelly: Sure. What's the plan? (Sally whispers in their ears) Got it. I just hope Francis doesn't mind.

Nichole: If it means living another day and saving our friends so be it. (She and Nelly stand by Sally)

Sally: Alright, girls, any moment there's going to be some very angry pirates busting through that door. When they do, give them the biggest surprise of their lives.

Nelly: Yup. (Hears the footsteps get closer) Sounds like there's two of them.

Sally: Alright, here they come. Get ready, and…(The two crewmates bust through the door) NOW!

(Sally, Nelly, and Nichole lifted their shirts exposing their breasts, much to the two crewmate's surprise)

Crewmate #31: (Gets a nosebleed and passes out)

Crewmate #32: Such beautiful bosoms! I need them in me life!

Lola: Bitch! (Comes out of nowhere and whacks the crewmate in the head with another crate) Nice work, you three.

Nelly: Same to you. But what is it with you and whacking people with crates recently.

Lola: (Shrugs her shoulders)

Bridon: (Finally finds the right key) Bingo! You're all free now.

Kelly PT: Sweet! (Hugs Bridon before realizing what she's doing and quickly lets go)

Kelly RM: (Tosses the proper equipment to Sophocles, Jeffrey, Doug, Mr. Slave, and Leon) Suit up, guys, Sam and Wendy need you out there! (The five saints nod)

(Back on the beach, Sam and Wendy get blown back by another one of Cervantes' attacks. The rest of the saints can do nothing but satch in horror as their best friends are getting their asses handed to them by the final advocate)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Oh no, Sam!

Millie: Wendy, get up!

Cervantes: (Steps up ready to deliver the final blow) Well, I must admit, ye have a lot of gumption to go up against as powerful a force as I…but ye blew it just like I knew ye would. Now, it's time to end this. (Holds out his leg cannon as the saints in the cages look away) Fare thee well! (Sam and Wendy hold each other one last time when…)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket! (Fires his attack which hits Cervantes, which causes Cervantes' own attack to go off course and hit the saints in the cages setting them free)

Cartman/Coon: Kick fucking ass!

Cervantes: Who dares disrupt my attack!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Right here!

Cervantes: What trickery be this! (He sees his prisoners freed)

Bridon: Heh! How you like them apples, Blackbeard!

Cervantes: Unbelievable!

Sam/Sir Justice: Holy shit! You guys actually freed them!

Terrance M: You're welcome by the way!

Cervantes: (Growls) Now ye have gone and done it! Be gone, heathens! Cannonball Crusher. (Fires a cannonball at the freed Saints but they dodge out of the way and join Sam and Wendy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: So glad you guys are alright.

Sophocles: If it weren't for Bridon and his group of friends, we'd still be locked in the brig.

Sam/Sir Justice: Those guys are alright. So, are you guys ready to teach this pirate a lesson or two?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Oh yeah! AWOOOOOOOOO!

Sam/Sir Jusitce: (Turns to the rest of the squad) Saints! Guide Mephesto and the rest of our friends to safety. I have a feeling that things are going to get messy.

Kenny/Mysterion: You've got it, Sam!

Ace: Best of luck, yo! (They all leave, leaving the eight fighters to duke it out alone)

Cervantes: I've been looking forward to this day for a long time. The day when the great South Park Saints finally die!

Sam/Sir Justice: We've been looking forward to putting down the last advocate too…(Gets teary eyed) I just can't believe it has to be one of my childhood icons!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Pull yourself together, babe.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Is Sam gonna be okay?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: It's a long, embarrassing, story.

Cervantes: Enough talking! Have at you!

 **(Cue Red Sun from Metal Gear Rising)**

 **(Opening instrumentals)**

Cervantes: I summon forth the true power of my blade! (He raises his sword hand skyward and lightning strikes it, giving it electric power) Oh yes! As you say, let's get cooking! (Fires a thunderbolt from his sword, and his seven opponents dodge)

Sophocles: Soul Chopper! (Fires an air slash from his scythe that Cervantes blocks)

Cervantes: Ye can do better than that!

 **(Golden rays of the glorious sunshine. Setting down such a blood red light. Now the animals slowly retreat to the shadows, out of sight)**

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener:Chainsaw Slash! (Swings his chainsaw, and Cervantes blocks again)

Cervantes: Eat a piece of this! (Gets ready to punch, but Mr. Slave takes out his hand rakes and blocks it) Argh!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Garden Variety Scratch! (Scratches Cervantes in the face with the hand rakes)

Cervantes: Agh! Damn you, girly man! (He kicks him away)

 **(Arid winds blows across the mountains giving flight to the birds of prey. In the distance machines come to transform Eden day by day)**

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Hey, not cool!

Cervantes: I'll show ye cool! Scimitar Shock! (Fires a lightning bolt from his sword hand but…)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Spiral Claw! (He digs underground and dodges the attack)

Cervantes: What kind of trickery…(Suddenly, Leon comes up from beneath him, scratching him multiple times and kicking him away, knocking him on his ass) Annoying little puppy ye be. (He now looks to see Jeffrey, Sam, Wendy, and Doug standing together)

 **(Only love is with us now, something warm and pure. Find the peace within ourselves, no need for a cure. When the wind is slow, when the fire's hot, the vulture waits to see what rots. Oh, how pretty, all the scenery. This is nature's sacrifice. When the air blows through with a brisk attack. The reptile tail ripped from his back. When the sun sets we will not forget the Red Sun over paradise)**

Sam/Sir Justice: Keep the pressure on him, everyone! Kurt's Beam Cannon!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket!

Cervantes: I won't be defeated this easily! (Dodges all four of the attacks. Each round of the attacks fired and he'd dodge them. Eventually, he retaliates) Thunder Slash! (Fires an electric air slash from his sword that the four fighters dodge and regroup with the other three)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cervantes is a tough cookie, just like I imagined he'd be.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Then I guess it's time. (Turns to Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, Leon and Mr. Slave) Do you think you five can hold him down long enough so Sam and I can work our magic.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: What magic?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You'll see.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Alright, I'm trusting you all. (Him and the other four requested move forward)

Cervantes: So this be the last stand. Come at me then! Cannonball Crusher! (Fires a cannonball that the five fighter dodge)

 **(Instrumentals)**

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception. (Fires it at Cervantes lower body, freezing it to the ground)

Cervantes: Ye think ice shall stop me? Don't make me laugh! (Gets his sword ready) Scimitar…

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Sleepy Seeds. (Tosses seeds on him that make him drowsy)

Cervantes: Oh…what's happening? No, I can still fight!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Quick, grab him! (Him and Jeffrey grab Cervantes's normal hand while Sophocles and Mr. Slave grab his sword hand)

Cervantes: Let me go…you fools

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam…you ready?

Sam/Sir Justice: I was born ready.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Then let's do this! (She and Sam hold hands and an orange aura glows around both)

Sam/Sir Justice & Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Love Sync! (They form a orange and pink falcon made of energy) Falcon Fellowship! (They point towards Cervantes and the falcon flies towards him)

Sophocles: Well, see ya! (He, Jeffrey, Leon, and Mr. Slave let go of Cervantes just in time as the attack hits him)

Cervantes: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 **(Song ends)**

(Everyone hears Cervantes screaming and come out of hiding. It's at this moment when a police paddy wagon comes to do its job)

Cervantes: (Cough) Well played, saints…(Cough) Well played. (Passes out)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Walks up to the unconscious pirate and hugs him) It was an honor fighting you, Cervantes. I'll never forget this fight as long as I live.

Police man: (Comes up to him) Hey, you the rebel rouser?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Points at Cervantes) Nope, this is the one you want.

Police man: (Picks up Cervantes and cuffs him) Did this man have any accomplices.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, but we cleared the beach of all of them. I think a few got away though, but they shouldn't cause any more troubles.

(Meanwhile, out at sea, the rest of Cervantes crewmates are watching his fall through their telescopes)

Crewmate #33: Aye. Sad day indeed. Captain Cervantes is put away.

Crewmate #34: The last advocate has fallen. I can tell that Satan will be most unsatisfied.

Crewmate #35: Don't worry, mateys. We'll get our revenge on those saints in due time. Just wait. (The remaining crewmates sail off into the horizon)

(Back on mainland, Cervantes is loaded into the paddy wagon as everyone cheers for our heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Waving at crowds) Please, please, it was nothing. Besides we couldn't have done it without the assistance of a few special faces. (Looks at Bridon and gives him a thumbs up, who returns the favor)

Jason: (Mutters) Dude could've mentioned us by name.

Jessie: There was like twenty of us, Jason, it would've taken too long.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Sees the paddy wagon drive off) So long, Cervantes! Don't drop the soap!

Ed: Heidi!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Turns to see her uncle standing there with open arms. She runs up to him and hugs him) Uncle Ed! We did it!

Ed: You certainly did. I'm so proud of you and your friends. It's people like you that make the world a better place.

Dan: (Walks up to his cousin) Yeah, Heidi. You guys are pretty cool.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Hold up, Heidi, Dan is your cousin!?

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Yeah, you didn't know that?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Huh…it is a small world after all.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to all of his friends) So, last advocate is put away, and we all still have three days of fun in the sun. What do you say we celebrate a true hero's victory tonight?

All: YEAH!

(With the last advocate put away, our heroes are ready to enjoy the rest of their vacation)

 **TO BE CONTINUED…**

 **This episode too longer than it should to make. To be honest, I kind of lost motivation to write this for the past few months. Hopefully uploading this new chapter means I'm out of my funk. Anyway, next time will be the last episode in Season 1, that's right Season finale. Stick around for the fun.**


	26. Vacation of Devastation (Part 4)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 24: Vacation of Devastation (Part 4) **(COBE LEMON WARNING!)**

 **(Yeah, I'm going there! For the season finale of this fanfic series, I'm bringing in** _ **lemons.**_ **To quote It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia it's time for "full penetration". Get ready, because what better way to close out not only close out the Blood Harvest/Devil's Advocate Arc, but also Season 1, than with a little hentai! (tentacles not included))**

 **(Cue Southern Nights by Glen Campbell)**

(Starting this chapter where the last one left off, it is now nighttime, 9:00 PM to be exact. Our heroes, in addition to the likes of Brimmy, Chadwick, Nichole, Sally, Jimmy, Kal, Jessie, Bridon, Esther, Jason, Bradley, Kelly PT, Lola, Terrance Mephesto, Kelly RM, Francis, and Nelly, are in their swimsuits, having a party in the outdoor pool area. They have the whole area to themselves. The only ones not attending this party are the adults like Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, etc. Also is also no Cody. We cut to random scenes of this party)

 **(Southern Nights! Have you ever felt a southern night? Free as a breeze, not to mention the trees whistling tunes that you know and love so)**

Bridon: (Raises a drink of soda) A toast to the South Park Saints! Here's to you!

All: Yeah! (Everyone sips)

Cartman: Cannonball! (Jumps into the pool, the splash getting Kyle wet)

Kyle: Watch it, asshole!

 **(Southern Nights! Just as good even when closed your eyes. I apologize to anyone who can truly say that he has found a better way)**

Francis: (Recording the party with his video camera) And here we see everyone celebrating the South Park Saints' victory against the last advocate Captain Alejandro Cervantes. After a miraculous attack, Sam and Wendy put that pirate in his place! An amazing moment indeed. (Sees Kurt rolling out a shiny watermelon) Well, what have we here, Kurt?

Kurt: You'll see. Yo, Sam, Bridgette, Ursula! You ready to get this party truly started?

Sam: Oh yeah, man!

Ursula: Hey, Red, you said you wanted to see what greased watermelon was like, get ready to see it firsthand!

Bridgette: Bring it on!

Kurt: GREASED WATERMELON! (Rolls it into the pool and Sam, Kurt, Ursula, Bridgette, and a few others start to fight over it)

 **(Southern Skies! Have you ever noticed southern skies? It's precious beauty lies just beyond the eye. It goes running through your soul like the stories told of old)**

Butters: (Comes down waterslide) Look out below! (Splashes into the water)

Bridon: Nice form, dude!

Kelly PT: Hey, Bridon. (Bridon turns in her direction) I just want to thank you for saving me back there.

Bridon: Think nothing of it PT.

Kelly PT: Don't think this is me suckering up to you. I just wanted to thank you, nothing more nothing less. Alright? (Swims away)

Bridon: I'm going to get that girl someday.

 **(Old man. He and his dog that walked the old land. Every flower touched his cold hand as he slowly walked by. Weeping willows would cry for joy! Joy!)**

(Another part of the pool as Lola talking with Terrance Mephesto, Brimmy, Nichole, Jimmy, and Kelly RM)

Lola: As strange as it sounds, I really enjoyed our time together.

Terrance M: (Snarky) Yes, because nothing says togetherness like risking your life on a pirate ship.

Lola: Come on, Terrance. I'm sure a small part of you got a thrill out of today.

Nichole: What would make you say that in the first place, Lola. Today was hands down one of the most nerve wracking day of my life.

Brimmy: Most nerve wracking day of your life _so far._

Nichole: Shut up! (Brimmy looks depressed)

Lola: I don't know. I just really enjoyed today. Maybe I'm just one of those danger junkies. Maybe I should join the South Park Saints.

Jimmy: That sounds like a great idea.

Nichole: Well count me out.

Kelly RM: Me too. Besides, I prefer cheering my Sammy-Sam on the sidelines.

Terrance M: I suppose being a part of that group is interesting. Other than the shere thrill, Lola, why else would you like to join?

Lola: (Looks at Kenny eating one of Kurt's cupcakes and she swoons a little) Oh, just a feeling…

 **(Feel so good! Feel so good, it's frightening. Wish I could stop this world from fighting. La da da da da da la da da da da da)**

Maria: (Drinking some soda) This is a great party, isn't it Apollo?

Apollo: (Still thinking about what Noah said) Was I really happier before I joined Sam and his friends?

Maria: Apollo, are you still down? Come on, lighten up you gloomy Gus. It's a party. I know what'll calm your nerves. Pushing Tweek over there in the…

Apollo: (Throws his cupcake at Tweek, who falls into the pool)

Tweek: Damn it, Apollo.

Apollo: (Monotone) You'll live…

Maria: (Looks at her brother worriedly)

 **(Mysteries…like this and many others in the trees blow in the night in the southern skies)**

(Stan is looking at his gift for Heidi, who is swimming in the pool)

Stan: (Sigh) Heidi…

Wendy: Dude, just tell her how you feel.

Stan: I don't know if I can.

Wendy: You did it with me all those years ago you can do it again. Just a few simple words: "Heidi, I like you, you want to go out sometime?"

Stan: Yeah, but…

Sam: (Collapses due to pain from the greased watermelon game)

Wendy: Sam, are you alright?

Sam: Oh, I forgot how violent of a game Greased Watermelon is. I think Bridgette gave me a concussion.

 **(Southern Nights! They feel so good it's frightening! Wish I could stop this world from fightning. La da da da da da la da da da da da)**

(Bebe then comes up to Sam, Stan, and Wendy)

Bebe: Hey, have you guy seen Cody anywhere?

Wendy: I haven't seen him, Bebe.

Sam: (Gets up in pain) Cody? Why, he is out at the beach. He told me to tell you to follow the trail of rose petals

Bebe: (Blushes) Oh my! Rose petals?

Stan: You should probably head down that way.

Bebe: Hmm, I will. Should I get changed back into my regular clothes?

Sam: No. He'll be in his swimsuit too, so it's okay.

Bebe: Alright. See you all later. (Leaves)

Wendy: I wonder what Cody is up too?

Sam: Oh, Bebe will see soon enough.

 **(End song)**

 **(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)**

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)**

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

 **(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)**

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

 **(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)**

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

 **(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)**

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We now cut to the beach where Bebe has just arrived, still in her bikini and even her sunglasses, despite the fact it was nighttime. She looks up and down the beach until she finds a trail of rose petals, just like Sam said)

Bebe: Ah, here we go.

(Bebe begins to follow the trail. She walks for a few minutes until she comes across a rock wall. She looks down to see that the rose petals spell out, "GO AROUND". Bebe goes around the rock wall and sees what it was Cody had planned behind it)

Bebe: Oh my…

(The area behind the rock wall was a beautiful private alcove. Cody had set up a big beach blanket. Around the blanket were small vanilla scented candles in glass jars. Cody also has a bowl full of strawberries, cherries, and grapes, and an iced bucket with a bottle of flavored champagne and two glasses next to it. Cody is laying on the blanket admiring the moon glow over the ocean. He sees his girlfriend and gets up to greet her)

Cody: Hello, Bebe, my love.

Bebe: Wow, Cody, you did all of this.

Cody: Yup. Sam helped me find the location and I handled the rest from there.

Bebe: (Hugs Cody) You did a lovely job, sweetie.

Cody: Thanks (Kisses Bebe, then sees she's still wearing her sunglasses) If you don't mind me asking, why do you have your sunglasses on at night?

Bebe: Oh, I just thought they'd make me look cool. You know, like that song by that one guy. I know, it's dumb (Takes them off and puts them to the side).

Cody: Not at all. In fact…I thought you look kind of hot with those shades on. (Bebe blushes) But at the same time, if you wore them…I wouldn't get to stare at those beautiful blue eyes of yours.

Bebe: Aw, Cody. You know just what to say to make a girl feel good.

Cody: I try. (Kisses her again) Well, what do you say before we indulge in our fruit and champagne, we go for a short night swim?

Bebe: Of course.

Cody: Race you!

Bebe: You're so on!

(The couple ran into the ocean and played around for a good 15-30 minutes. Bebe and Cody swam around and playfully splashed each other underneath the warm moonlight. After that, the couple went back on shore, dried off, and sat down on the beach blanket to enjoy each other's company)

Cody: A grape for my beautiful flower?

Bebe: Yes please. (Cody feeds her a grape) Strawberry for my Prince Charming?

Cody: Gladly. (Bebe feeds him a strawberry) How are you enjoying your evening so far, sweetie?

Bebe: Absolutely perfect. Is this for our eight year anniversary?

Cody: Of course.

Bebe: I'll have to figure out a way to top this when we get back home.

Cody: You don't have to do anything too extravagant, babe. Just showing me love is all I need. But there's another reason why I did this.

Bebe: Hmm?

Cody: I want to talk to you more about…this Cutest Boy List thing.

Bebe: (Groans) Cody, first of all, this thing was over and done with ten years ago. And second, why do you feel the need to know everything about my life?

Cody: I always thought that's what people did in relationships: Be honest with each other. Tell each other about the good and bad aspects of their lives.

Bebe: Some things are better left unsaid, Cody. Ever thought about that?

Cody: But it's not right. And also, what's this I hear about you getting arrested over this? I just can't understand it. Especially since I told you everything there is to know about me.

Bebe: I already told you, I was afraid that if I told you then you'd leave me for another girl. I mean, think about it. You're a fancy rich boy. What'll happen to your reputation if word gets out that you're in love with an ex-con? I knew that if you found out, then I'd just weigh down your social status.

Cody: Bebe, I would never leave your side, and you certainly don't weigh down my social status. If people really do think that way, then the hell with them (Holds her) I love you more than life itself. I don't care if you're mentally unstable, killed five people, robbed a dozen banks, and have a hundred unpaid parking tickets. I'd still see an utter goddess in you.

Bebe: Aww…(Kisses him)

Cody: I just need to know that you're done doing anything that…messed up, and that you really do love me for who I am and not where I come from.

Bebe: Babe, you have my word. I'll be a good girl from here on out. And as far as me loving you is concerned, you don't have to worry about a thing. I genuinely love you for who you are. Don't you know that by now? Hell, you could be the poorest kid in town, I mean poorer than Kenny, living in a cardboard box by the bus station and I'd still see you as the most attractive man in the world. I love you Cody, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Cody: (Looks into Bebe's eyes and he could tell that her words are sincere) That means a lot, love. I needed to hear that. (Kisses her forehead)

Bebe: (Giggles) You must really be crazy for me.

Cody: Of course.

Bebe: But why?

Cody: What do you mean?

Bebe: I mean, you're one of, if not, _the_ richest boy in town. You could have any girl that you want. So…why pick me? Why pick the one granny smith apple in a basket of red delicious? Why choose some random middle class girl from the suburbs when there are thousands of rich girls in the world for you to choose from?

Cody: I just love being around you, Bebe. You have that sort of carefree, kindhearted, fiery, and overall beautiful personality that I always want in a girlfriend. I feel like I can be myself around you and I won't be judged. You care about my feelings and you're so nice to my family. It's just that, as cliché as it is for me to say…I think God made you especially for me.

Bebe: (Smiles) I feel the same way. (Holds him) Cody Oppenheimer, I love you.

Cody: I love you too, Barbara Stevens (Kisses her and releases the hug, looking at the champagne in the bucket) We still haven't cracked open that champagne bottle.

Bebe: What do you say we fix that?

Cody: Gladly. (Grabs the bottle, opens it up, and pours him and Bebe two glasses. He gives Bebe her glass)

Bebe: Thanks, Cody. Cheers.

Cody: To us. (They clink glasses and take a swig of their bubbly drink) Tasty.

Bebe: Indeed. (Looks at Cody) Oh, Cody, you still have some champagne on your lips.

Cody: (Sees where she's going with this) Oh, do I?

Bebe: Here, let me get it. (Promptly kisses Cody amorously, and Cody returns the favor. The two lay down on the beach blanket, still engaged in their kiss)

 **(Author's Note: Last chance for anyone under the age of 15 to get out!)**

(The couple made out for what felt like hours. Eventually, Bebe broke free from the kiss)

Bebe: Hey, Cody?

Cody: Hmm?

Bebe: Do you want to…you know?

Cody: Only if you want to.

Bebe: Of course. I couldn't think of a more perfect opportunity. I'm with the person I love the most in a beautiful location, just the two of us. Let's go for it.

Cody: (Kisses her) If that's what you want then I'm all in.

(The two go back to making out, this time caressing each other's bodies. Cody slowly moved his hands up Bebe's body, making their way towards her chest)

Bebe: Don't hesitate, Cody. It's okay. You can touch them as much as you want.

(The couple continued to make out, Cody's hands now covering Bebe's breasts. He started to gently massage them, causing her to gently moan)

Cody: (In his mind) Wow, she really likes this. Hmm, I can feel her nipples through her swimsuit top.

Bebe: Oh…it feels so good. Hey, Cody.

Cody: Yes, my love goddess?

Bebe: Would you like to see them? (She and Cody sit up)

Cody: (Blushing) Uh…really?

Bebe: Of course. Tell you what though: Why don't you take them out.

Cody: O-Okay.

(With a deep breath, Cody reached behind Bebe and undid the string to her swimsuit top and lifted it over her head to take it off. When that happened, her breasts bounced free from the confines of clothing. Cody's eyes widened, and he blushed even harder when he saw them, especially since Bebe's breasts were more buxom than the average 18 year old girl)

Cody: They're so…beautiful.

Bebe: (Giggles) Glad you like them.

Cody: I-If you don't mind me asking…what size are they.

Bebe: I'm a little embarrassed to say but…my breasts are F-cups.

Cody: How's that embarrassing?

Bebe: I just feel like I'm the only one in my class with behemoth boobs. I feel like a freak.

Cody: (Hugs her) Aw, darling. Don't say that. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met no matter what bust size you are. Besides, I like chesty girls.

Bebe: You do?

Cody: Of course. (Begins to massage her chest again) Nice and soft, perfect for snuggling with (Begins to nuzzle her breasts).

Bebe: (Chuckles) That tickles, Cody.

Cody: It does? Let's change this up then, shall we? (He takes one of her breasts and begins to suck on one of her nipples, engulfing it with his mouth. This caused Bebe's giggles to turn into soft but lustful moans)

Bebe: Mmm…C-Cody. (Teasingly tackles him onto the beach blanket and is now laying on top of him, legs straddling his waist)

Cody: Hey now, what's this for?

Bebe: (Puts her boobs in his face) Easier access. Go ahead, babe, play with them as much as you like. I want you to worship them…

(Without hesitation, Cody placed his hands on her chest again: Gently squeezing them, making them jiggle, kissing and suckling on her tits, rubbing them on his face, and flicking her nipples with his tongue. Bebe was getting really turned on by all of this and started grinding herself against her boyfriend)

Bebe: Cody…can you use your teeth, please…

Cody: (Gently scrapes her nipple with his teeth)

Bebe: Oh, yes! Keep going.

(Cody continued this treatment of Bebe's breasts for 10 minutes. He was in heaven with her tits in his face and mouth. It was then that Bebe had an idea)

Bebe: I guess you really do love my breasts, don't you?

Cody: (Still suckling) Mmm-hmm…

Bebe: You want to see how my girls can make you feel _really_ good?

Cody: Uh, sure.

Bebe: Perfect. I just need you to lay down on your back.

(Cody does as he's told and Bebe gets on her knees. She then begins to rub Cody's penis through his swim trunks)

Bebe: Well, let's see what we have under here. (She removes Cody's swim trunks, allowing his 8 inch cock to spring free) Wow! You're quite the big boy, aren't you, Cody?

Cody: (Blushes) Like it?

Bebe: I love it. Now, about what I wanted to do with you.

Cody: Yeah, what are you planning to…

(Before Cody could say another word, she began to lick away at his cock like it were a popsicle, coating it in her saliva. The treatment was giving Cody much pleasure)

Cody: Oh, Bebe, that feels so wonderful.

Bebe: You think that's good, you haven't seen anything yet.

Cody: What do you mean?

Bebe: I just wanted to get your cock ready.

Cody: Ready for what?

(Bebe gave Cody a naughty grin before taking her breasts and putting Cody's cock in between them)

Cody: Oh…so soft and…warm!

Bebe: Don't blow just yet, sweetie. There's still far too much to see.

(With that, Bebe moves her breasts up and down Cody's length. The feeling of such big and warm entities smothering his cock was enough to make Cody moan in lust)

Cody: Oh…fuck! God, yes!

Bebe: (Smiles) Yeah, you like that, baby? Are you enjoying your paizuri?

Cody: Sweet mother of God, yes! Don't stop this, please. Too good!

(Bebe continued the titjob, listening to Cody's moans of ecstasy. She decided to add to the intimacy by licking and sucking at the head of his penis. This pace continued for a few more minutes until Cody couldn't take anymore.)

Cody: (Starts to tremble) Ah, Bebe…Wait…I think I'm gonna…

(With that, Cody shoots his load into Bebe's mouth. The feel of his cock pulsating between her breasts was unlike anything she ever experienced. Bebe drank up all of Cody's love juices before freeing his manhood from its paizuri paradise)

Bebe: You taste good, Cody. And there was a lot of it too. I just hope that you're not entirely spent after that.

Cody: I just need time to recover that's all. I'll be up and running just in time for the main event. In the meantime, however, how about I take care of you. I just need you to lay on your back, darling.

Bebe: Alright.

(Bebe laid on her back allowing Cody to get on top of her. He then began to plant kisses all over her face and neck. He then began to work his way down her body, showing her breasts some more love before leaving a plethora of kisses all over her flat, smooth, belly)

Cody: I say, Bebe, you have such an amazing body. You should become a model.

Bebe: (Blushes) Aw, that's so nice Cody.

Cody: Moving right along…

(Cody moved down to her nethers. He removed Bebe's bikini bottom and got a look at her clean-shaven pussy)

Cody: (In his head) Wow, hard wood floors, nice!

Bebe: Like what you see?

Cody: (Rapidly nods his head) Uh-huh.

Bebe: What are you waiting for, dig in, babe.

(Cody started by kissing Bebe's inner thighs before giving a few kisses to her labia. In those few kisses, he could tell that his girlfriend was wet. Without wasting any more time, Cody slipped his tongue inside Bebe's pussy)

Cody: So sweet…

(He began to eat his girlfriend out as if she was the most delicious treat in existence. Bebe was moaning like crazy at the shear feeling of Cody's tongue probing her pussy, shivers of pleasure running up and down her spine. Bebe then puts her hand on the back of Cody's head so she can push him deeper. He could tell what she wanted, and proceeded to lick more vigorously)

Bebe: Cody…oh fuck, Cody, that feels so good!

(As Cody licked away at his girlfriend's soaking wet vagina, he was gently rubbing at her clit so she can achieve completion faster)

Bebe: (Gently groping her own chest) Come on, Cody…Mmm…you can be rougher than that.

(He starts to rub at her clit harder, driving Bebe to a state of absolute lust. Her body began to convulse, and Cody knew she wouldn't last too much longer. Her mewls reached a higher pitch as she arched her back)

Bebe: Ah, Cody, fuck! I'm…I'm… _ooohhhhh…_

(Bebe released her love juices all over Cody's face. Cody just wiped it off with his hand and proceeded to lick the residue off)

Cody: Mmm…nice.

Bebe: (Panting and sits up) Really?

Cody: Tastes kind of like berries.

Bebe: That's not surprising, given we've been feeding each other berries earlier.

Cody: (Shrugs shoulder) I guess. (Moves over to the champagne bucket) So, are you ready for the finale? (Lifts the bucket up and grabs a condom that was hiding beneath it) I'm fully recovered and ready to put on a good show.

Bebe: Alright then.

Cody: (Unwraps the condom and puts it on) It's the ribbed kind too. It should be easier for the both of us to get off.

Bebe: Cool. (Lays back down, legs spread and arms open) Now, are you going to keep a girl waiting?

Cody: Not at all. (He gets on top of her and begins to tease her nethers with the tip of his member, dragging it up and down her slit)

Bebe: (Shudders in anticipation) Please…put it in me…

Cody: Very well. Just promise me that if I hurt you, you'll tell me to stop.

Bebe: Of course.

Cody: Okay. Well, here we go.

(Cody slowly slides his cock into Bebe's pussy)

Bebe: (Winces slightly) Unh…

Cody: (Gets nervous and pulls out) Uh oh, did I hurt you?

Bebe: Don't worry. It's just that you're my first one…like, ever. They said the first time is always the hardest for a girl.

Cody: We don't have to do this you know, Bebe. I mean we made each other release with amazing foreplay, and I did penetrate you just now, meaning we're no longer virgins. You want to call it a night?

Bebe: (Hugs him) No way. I want to see this through. I told myself for a long time that I wanted our first time to be special. I'm not about to let it end this way.

Cody: Are you sure?

Bebe: (Takes his hands in hers) Yes. I want this for us more than anything right now, Cody. (Lays back down, pulling Cody with her so he's laying on top of her) If you're really that nervous, you could try just using the head, gradually using more and more of your length so that I can get used to it faster. What do think?

Cody: I think you just came up with a good idea. You're pretty smart, love.

Bebe: Not as smart as you, Cody.

Cody: Aww. Well now, where were we?

(Cody sticks his cock back inside, this time only sliding the tip of his penis inside the moist entrance. He would gently slide the head of his cock in and out of Bebe's pussy so she could get used to having him inside her. When she gave the go-ahead, Cody would insert a bit more of his penis into her. Before any of them knew it, almost all of Cody's manhood was stuffed into his girlfriend's vagina. Bebe and Cody just laid there, reveling in the feeling of their "intertwining")

Bebe: God, Cody, you're so big! It's feels so good. Mmm, how do you feel, you know, inside me?

Cody: I love it so much. You're just so warm, wet, and tight. If this is what sex feels like, I know for a fact we'll be doing this on more than one occasion.

Bebe: My thoughts exactly, sexy. All that's missing are those movements that drive us wild.

Cody: Oh, you mean this…

(With that, Cody began to gently make love to his darling Bebe. As the couple engaged in their activity, they were caressing and kissing each other lovingly, the light from the candles and the moon in the sky adding to the passionate atmosphere. Cody was using the sound of the waves as a sort of metronome, keeping a steady rhythm that both he and Bebe enjoyed thoroughly)

Bebe: (Moans) C-Cody… Come closer! I want to feel your body on mine (Wraps her legs around Cody to get him closer to her, and deeper inside)

Cody: Gah!

(Cody went in deeper, causing Bebe to moan even more. With Cody going in deeper, he was able to hit her sweet spots)

Bebe: Oh, mmm, oh! God, that feels so good!

Cody: Mmm…Enjoying yourself so far, babe?

Bebe: I so am, Cody, ah! But now, I need you to kick it up a notch.

Cody: What do you mean?

Bebe: I need you to go harder. Really pound yourself into me.

Cody: Are you sure?

Bebe: Just do it…

Cody: (Smiles) As you wish.

(With that, Cody begins to increase his speed and pressure and to his surprise, both he and Bebe enjoyed the activity even more than before)

Bebe: Oh, fuck, Cody! Ah! Don't stop!

Cody: Oh! You like this, Bebe?

Bebe: God, yes! Don't stop what you're doing. Oh, I love this…and you a whole lot more.

Cody: I love you too, babe. (Begins kissing her neck, even leaving a hickey)

(The couple was really enjoying this. The feeling of the penetration, the foreplay, the closeness of it all drove them wild as they moaned to the heavens, hoping in vein that the waves of the ocean were loud enough so that no one could hear them. Nevertheless, things were getting intense, the moment of completion drawing ever nearer, and Bebe enjoying every minute of it. Her legs wrapped tightly around Cody's waist and her nails digging deep enough for her to draw a small bit of blood, but Cody himself was lost in so much pleasure that he didn't care about the shoulder pain. Cody ran his fingers through Bebe's long blonde locks as they stared into each other's eyes, knowing that their fun time is coming to an end)

Bebe: Cody…I'm so close!

Cody: Me too, Bebe. (Moan) Let's do it together.

(Cody thrusted wildly, feeling his girlfriend's pussy get tighter and wetter with each hard thrust he made)

Cody: You ready?

Bebe: We'll release on 1.

Cody: Ah! Do the honors.

Bebe: 5….4…fuck...3…oh….2…Cody…1!

Cody & Bebe: _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…._

(They both released. Bebe's love juices squirted all over Cody's latex wrapped dick. As she came, Bebe shuddered with pleasure and practically melted in her boyfriend's arms. Even though Cody was wearing condom, which he shot his hot and heavy load into, Bebe still felt immense pleasure from his cock pulsating inside her.)

(When it was all over, Cody pulled out, rolled off of Bebe and lay next to her, taking his condom off and putting it aside. They both lay on their backs, panting, reveling in the feeling of afterglow. After a few seconds of that, the two of them began to cuddle, enjoying the feeling of their bodies huddled next to each other)

Bebe: (Gives Cody a big kiss) Mmm, that was…so…God, I can't even describe how good it felt.

Cody: Let's see: Did it feel amazing? Magical? Phenomenal?

Bebe: How about all of the above?

Cody: Sounds great.

Bebe: How was it for you?

Cody: I feel like I achieved absolute nirvana. Then again, I always feel like I've achieved nirvana whenever I'm with you.

Bebe: Aww, baby…(Another kiss) I could just lay here forever with you, Cody.

Cody: Right back at you. (Begins stroking Bebe's hair and looks at the moon and stars shining bright in the curtain of night) It's certainly a beautiful night, isn't it?

Bebe: It so is. (Enjoying her boyfriend stroking her hair and holding her) I feel so loved by you.

Cody: Me too, and call me cheesy or cliche, but my heart aches anytime I'm away from you.

Bebe: Aww, Cody. (Yawns)

Cody: Tired, sweetie?

Bebe: Yeah. That session of ours drained me quite a bit.

Cody: You should go ahead and get some shut-eye. I promise I'll be right here holding you as you sleep. I'm not going anywhere. (Yawns himself) We can even sleep here all night if you like.

Bebe: (Nuzzles her face into his chest) As long as I'm with you, Cody, I don't care where we are. (Closes her eyes) I love you (Finally falls asleep).

Cody: Goodnight, Bebe, my love (He falls asleep soon after too, his Bebe still tangled his arms)

 **(Alright kids, you can come back in now!)**

(Meanwhile, the party that was still going on at the hotel has been moved to Big Ed's Bar and Grill since management closes the pool area down at a certain time. Everyone, bar Bebe, Cody, and the adults, is back in their street clothes and in the bar with our band of do-gooders is Heidi's Uncle Ed and Cousin Dan, Ace, Blaze, Carmel, and Inkwell. Ed is putting out some food for everyone)

Ace: (Eating a slider) Those South Park Saints are something else, aren't they gang?

Carmel: No kidding.

Blaze: Coolest dudes and dudettes I've ever met.

Inkwell: (Turns to Sam) Hey, dude. You're the leader of the saints, right?

Sam: That I am Mr….

Inkwell: Just call me Inkwell. I speak for my whole posse when I say thank you for wiping our beach clean of those pirate fools.

Sam: It was no trouble at all.

Ed: (Comes out with another plate full of sliders) You really saved our skins. You and your friends, Sam. In fact, I'm willing to give Heidi and her friends free food from my restaurant for life as a reward for helping me. (Everyone cheers)

Clyde: Free food, sweet!

Red: Yeah! Granted I'm not sure when I'll be back here, but I guess it's the thought that counts.

Dan: Hey guys, look what I found in the maintenance closet.

Butters: What did you find, Dan?

Dan: (Rolls out a karaoke machine) A karaoke machine. What do you say we do a little contest and loser has to down this whole bottle of hot sauce. (Picks up a bottle of hot sauce from the table)

Tweek: I'm game.

Kenny: Bring it on!

Heidi: Rock n' Roll!

Sam: I'll go first.

Wendy: Go, baby!

Sam: I dedicate this song to all the advocates whose butts we kicked!

(Everyone laughs as the contest begins. We cut to random points in the contest)

 **(Contestant #1: Sam singing Don't Stop me Now)**

Sam: I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky! Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity. I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva! I'm gonna go, go, go there's no stopping me…

 **(Contestant #2: Cartman singing We Didn't Start the Fire)**

Cartman: Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen! Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye! We didn't start the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning…

 **(Contestant #3: Annie singing Jump Up Super Star with Red and Ursula providing backup)**

Annie: So let's all jump up super high!

Red & Ursula: Jump up super high!

Annie: High up in the sky!

Red & Ursula: High up in the sky!

Annie: There's no power up like dancing! You know that you're my superstar.

Red & Ursula: You're my superstar

Annie: No one else can take me this far. I'm flipping the switch. Get ready for this Oh!

Annie, Red, & Ursula: Let's do the odyssey!

 **(Contestant #4: Clyde and Bridgette singing Lucky)**

Clyde: Do you hear me? I'm talking to you. Across the water, across the deep blue ocean, under the open sky. Oh my, baby I'm trying.

Bridgette: Boy, I hear you in my dreams. I feel your whisper across the sea. I keep you with me in my heart. You make it easier when life gets hard.

Clyde & Bridgette: I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been. Lucky to be coming home again…

(Some of the audience is moved to tears)

 **(Contestant #5: Craig singing Come on Eileen)**

Craig: Poor old Johnny Ray. Sounded sad upon the radio, but he moved a million hearts in mono. Our mother cried, sang along, who'd blame them? You're grown, so grown. Now I must say more than ever: Come on Eileen….

 **(Contestant #6: Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter singing Friends)**

Kelly PT: Don't go look at me with that look in your eye. You really ain't going away without a fight. You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite. I've told you one two three four five six thousand times. Haven't I made it obvious? Haven't I made it clear? Want me to spell it out for you: F-R-I-E-N-D-S!

Bridon: (Spoken) Why do I get the feeling this is aimed at me?

Esther: (Spoken) Because it most likely is.

 **(Contestant #7: Kelly Rutherford-Menskin singing Paparazzi)**

Kelly RM: I'm your biggest fan. I'll follow you until you love me: Papa-paparazzi. Baby there's no other superstar you know that I'll be your papa-paparazzi. Promise I'll be kind. But I won't stop until that boy is mine. Baby you'll be famous! Chase you down until you love me. Papa-paparazzi.

Sam: (Spoken and very uncomfortable) Why do I have the feeling this song is aimed at me?

Wendy: (Spoken through gritted teeth) Because I know it is, and some bitch is gonna die tonight! (The likes of Sam, Stan, Token, and Red have to hold her back)

 **(Contestant #8: Kurt singing Georgia on my Mind)**

Kurt: Other arms reach out to me….Other eyes smile tenderly…Still in peaceful dreams I see…the road leads back to you. I said Georgia…

Annie: (Spoken) Woo! Go, Kurty!

Red: (Spoken) He's good.

Ursula: (Spoken and waving a lighter) Sing it, Kurt, you go boy!

Ed: (Spoken) Young lady, put that lighter down. I'm not about to have my restaurant reduced to a smoldering pile of ash.

 **(Contestant #9: Millie singing Bumble Bee)**

Millie: I give my heart and my soul to you to make you see it's true. I'm so confused, baby, can't you see? Please come rescue me! Sweet little bumble bee, I know what you want from me! Dup-i-dup-i-do-da-da, dup-i-dup-i-do-da-da. Sweet little bumble bee, more than just a fantasy. Dup-i-dup-i-do-da-da, dup-i-dup-i-do-da-da…

 **(Contestant #10: Butters singing Real Slim Shady)**

Butters: We ain't nothing but mammals…well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes. But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope. But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote. Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes: I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imatiating…

(Everyone is surprised that Butters not only can rap, but some of the lyrics are in his G-rated vocabulary)

Kyle: Damn…Butters can rap.

Kurt: Who knew the little guy had it in him?

Heidi: (Stands up and stretches her muscles) I'm getting stiff just sitting here. I need to go out and get some fresh air. (Turns to her uncle) Is the door to the deck unlocked, Uncle Ed?

Ed: Should be.

Heidi: Thanks (She goes outside and Stan notices this)

Sam: Stan, now's your chance. Heidi is all alone. Do you have the gift you want to give her?

Stan: Right here. (Holds the gift up)

Sam: Perfect! Alright dude, this is it. Give her the gift, ask her out, and come back in here holding each other's hands! (Stan makes his way to the deck) Make me proud, goddamn it!

(Stan goes outside on the deck to find Heidi sitting on a bench, looking into the horizon. The deck has a great view of the ocean since Big Ed's Bar and Grill is at one of the highest points on Venice Beach)

Stan: (Takes a deep breath and proceeds) Hey Heidi.

Heidi: Oh, hi Stan. What brings you by?

Stan: Oh, nothing. I just thought you'd get lonely out here all by yourself.

Heidi: That's cool. I appreciate the company. Thank you, Stan. (Scoots over and pats the area of the bench next to her) Go on, pop a squat.

Stan: Thanks. (He sits down next to her and looks at the night sky) Beautiful night tonight, isn't it.

Heidi: You can say that again. The moon is so bright tonight. I've never seen anything like it. I want to get one of those moon lamps for my room whenever I get the cash.

Stan: They're not really at that expensive if you look hard enough. But speaking of material things, I brought you something. Something that you can use next time you're in battle. (He hands her the present)

Heidi: Oh boy! I hope it's explosives! (She unwraps the gift and) Cool! A hammer!

(The hammer in question is made of metal and has the face of Heidi's persona, Fatal Feline, on the face of the hammer. But, the other side has what looks like a rocket engine on it)

Stan: I kind of took the blueprints of my hammer and expanded upon it to make you this one. By pressing this button here on the hammer, the face of the hammer will open up and shoot a flamethrower attack. But pressing the button here on the grip, it'll activate this rocket booster. With that booster, you'll be able to hit enemies so hard, they'll go flying and probably won't hit the ground until they reach China.

Heidi: (Admiring her new weapon) Far out!

Stan: I'm glad you like it. (He and Heidi resume looking up and the beautiful full moon in the sky)

Heidi: God, look at that moon.

Stan: I know. I've never seen anything so…so…majestic.

Heidi: I wonder what it's like…you know, up there.

Stan: Wish I could tell you.

Heidi: Hey, Stan.

Stan: Hmm…

Heidi: There's another reason why you came out to see me, isn't there?

Stan: (Nervous sigh) Actually, yes there is. Heidi, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now.

Heidi: Yes.

Stan: Well…we've been friends for a couple of years now and we've grown even closer since forming the South Park Saints.

Heidi: (Slightly blushing) Where are you going with this?

Stan: You'll see. Anyway, I told myself after Wendy broke up with me that I'd never fall in love again. But seeing the likes of her and Sam, Cody and Bebe, Clyde and Bridgette, and all of them made me realize all of the stuff I was missing out on. Not having someone to hold, not having someone to share all of life's good times with, not having someone to share hopes and aspirations. I'm missing out on all of that. And with that, I have to ask…Heidi Turner…will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend.

(Heidi is stunned that Stan would ask that. She's not too sure how to react as her face becomes as red as a tomato)

Stan: I don't need an answer right now. I can give you some time to mull it over and-MPH!

(Stan had been cut off with a kiss from Heidi. A few seconds later and she releases the kiss. Stan is mesmerized)

Stan: Dang…that was…epic.

Heidi: (Giggles) I'm so glad you feel that way, Stan. And to be frank, I'd be honored to be your girlfriend.

Stan: Really? That's great news! I'm so happy!

Heidi: Come here you big lug! (She leaps into Stan's arms and they kiss again when…)

Sam: Well how romantic is this.

Stan: (Stops kissing Heidi and sees Sam just standing there looking smug, leaning against the wall) How long have you been there, dude.

Sam: Long enough to see that you finally manned up and asked her out. I'm so happy for you two. So, now that you guys are official, what are you two going to do for your first date?

Stan: I don't know. There's so many places here on the beach. What do you think, Heidi?

Heidi: Honestly, I'd be happy just laying on the beach cuddled next to you.

Stan: Aw, babe.

Heidi: (Giggles)

Kenny: (Pokes his head out the door) Come on you guys, they're about to announce the winner of the karaoke sing off!

Sam: We're coming, dude. (He, Stan, and Heidi begin to make their way back inside) So the last advocate is put away, you two got together, Bebe and Cody are boinking as we speak, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Stan: At least until Satan come up with another batch of advocates for us to fight.

Sam: True. But until then, let's just take it slow and enjoy life.

Heidi: Amen to that.

Sam: (Opens the door to the restaurant) After you two.

Stan: (Carries Heidi over the threshold as if they were a married couple)

Sam: Don't rush things, Romeo. (He closes the door behind him as the episode draws to a close)

 **END OF SEASON 1….**

(Instead of the usual end credits being random clips, this time it's pictures like a vacation slide show)

 **(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)**

(A title appears that reads, "South Park High Class of 2025: Senior Trip)

 **(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)**

(Photo #1: The whole class is at a diner eating breakfast)

(Photo #2: Cartman, Lola, Kenny, and Kyle are hanging out at the skate park with Carmel, Ace, Blaze, and Inkwell, with Cartman hilariously wiping out in the background)

(Photo #3: Red and Ursula are out fishing and they fish up Sophocles' rum ham)

 **(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de. Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)**

(Photo #4: Heidi, Stan, Sam, and Wendy are roller skating down the boardwalk with Kelly RM trying to catch up)

(Photo #5: Butters and Dan are in a hot dog eating contest at Big Ed's Bar and Grill. The likes of Token, Nichole, Jimmy, and Millie are watching the event)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite. Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu. Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo. Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda. Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Photo #7: Kurt wins one of the boardwalk games and let's Annie pick a prize. She chooses a big panda plushie with red spots and Kurt lets her keep it)

(Photo #8: Craig, Tweek, Sally, and Kelly PT are going down a water slide. Tweek looks like he's going to be sick while the other three are having the time of their lives)

(Photo #9: Bridon, Jason, Esther, and Bradley are performing at an open mic night at a local pub. Cody and Bebe are there cheering them on, sharing a basket of curly fries)

 **(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou** **.** **Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido** **.** **Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to** **.** **Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)**

(Photo #10: Nelly and Francis are out kite flying. Nelly has a pink kite with blue ribbons, Francis has a green kite with yellow ribbons. As that's going on, Terrance M. is running from a flock of seagulls who are trying to get his sandwich)

(Photo #11: Jessie, Maria, and Kal are sunbathing)

(Photo #12: Apollo, Chadwick, and Brimmy are watching the sunset over the horizon, the sun rays shining over the ocean. Apollo is lost in his thoughts, Brimmy is smoking a blunt, and Chadwick is trying to take a good picture)

 **(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte** **.** **Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo** **.** **Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute** **.** **Demo mada tatakatteru kara)**

(Photo #13: Everyone is in a movie theater for a showing of Avatar 5)

(Photo #14: Now everyone is gathered in one of the hotel rooms playing Smash Ultimate on a Nintendo Switch. 8-player smash to be specific. Sam-Link, Heidi-Inkling, Clyde-Ridley, Kyle-Falco, Tweek-Marth, Millie-Isabelle, Maria-Bayonetta, Kenny-Cloud)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo** **.** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **.** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **.** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka** **.** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)**

(Photo #15: Clyde and Bridgette are on the slingshot ride and while Bridgette is staying cool and collected, Clyde is freaking the hell out)

(Photo #16: Leon caught the adults like Doug, Jeffrey, Alex Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto sleeping and he doodles on their faces)

(Photo #16: Now everyone is at a luau party on the beach, watching a pig roast on a spit)

 **(Samayoinagara** **Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo** **Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)**

(Photo #17: The likes of Sam, Kenny, Craig, and Kyle are going bungee jumping)

 **(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite** **.** **Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu** **.** **Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo** **.** **Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)**

(Photo #18: Everyone is having a squirt gun fight on the beach)

(Photo #19: Everyone is watching a fireworks display on the boardwalk at night)

(Photo #20: Stan and Heidi kiss again)

 **(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo** **.** **Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru** **.** **Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga** **.** **Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka** **.** **Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa** **.** **Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)**

(Photo #21: Everyone is packing up for the trip back home)

(Photo #22: Just everyone relaxing on the bus ride)

(Photo #23: A photo of the South Park City Limits sign from the bus)

(Photo #24: A picture of the whole class in front of the school as the song and credits finally end)

 **Note: And with that, Season 1 draws to a close, about time right? So here's what's going to happen now. Season 2 will be put on hold at least until I finish South Park's Emotional Warzone. Why I am doing this will make sense in due time. I'm not sure how soon I can get a chapter for that fanfic out given I'm away in college, but I'll find a way.**

 **In the meantime, thank you for those of you who have read Season 1 all the way through, I hope you enjoyed it even though it could get admittedly pretty stupid at points, and hang in there as the best has yet to come.**

 **Peace out, make smart choices, and always believe in yourself. Have a blessed day!**


	27. Voice Acting Dream Team

Legend of Sir Justice and South Park Saints Voice Actors

 **(Here are the voices I imagine the major characters to have. I know, I'm lame)**

Stan/Cartman/Jeffrey/Clyde/Brimmy/Trent/Satan/Francis/Jimmy/Bridon/Mephesto/Jason…...Trey Parker

Kyle/Kenny/Butters/Doug/Pip/Kevin/Terrance M./Craig/Tweek/Bradley/Chadwick…..Matt Stone

Leon…...….Danny Cooksey

Wendy/Annie/Millie/Nelly/Lola/Kelly PT/Kelly RM...…...….April Stewart

Esther…...Eliza J. Schnider

Red…...…..Mona Marshall

Bebe…...Jennifer Howell

Heidi/Paris Hilton…...…...Jessica Makinson

Sally…...Jessie Thomas

Token…...…...Adrien Beard

Nichole….…...…...Laylo Incognegro

Alex Slave….…...John Hansen

Sam…...Roger Craig Smith

Kurt….…...…...Travis Willingham

Bridgette.…...….…Hynden Walch

Ursula….…...…...Laura Bailey

Justin….…...…...J. Michael Tatum

PB-01 Max….…...….Liam O'Brien

Maria Murciélago.….…Tara Strong

Apollo Murciélago….…...Richard Epcar

Cody.…...….…Troy Baker

Sophocles.…...…..Maurice LaMarche

James Oppenheimer….…...Malcolm McDowell

Ethel Stotch (Old).…..Donna Dobby

Ethel Stotch (Young)…..…...Nika Futterman

Tobias Shredder.….…Jeff Bennett

Dimitri Molarski….…..Weird Al Yankovic

Charon Powell….…..Todd Haberkorn

Penelope Marlowe…...…Tress MacNeille

Bianca Thorn…..…...Jennifer Hale

Noah Oppenheimer.….Mike Pollock

Alejandro Cervantes….…..Clancy Brown

Damien Thorne….…..Chris Patton

 **So…..what do you think?**


End file.
